"Get fucked."

Ed stared at the kid selling vegetables in the market stall. 'Get fucked' ? Are you kidding me?

She grabbed him by the front of his shirt and lifted him. She only wanted to know if they had any fresh tomatoes but with the mood she was in she could definitely turn this into a fight.

"Listen you little shit. I'm just looking for some fucking tomatoes, so how about you tell me where they are before i find either of your parents and 'get fucked' as you've so politely phrased it."

The seventeen-ish-year-old's eyes went wide and he scampered off as soon as she dropped him. Damn kids. Why did they have to be so shitty in their later teenage years. She'd joined the fuckin military by seventeen.

Ed grumbled to herself as her anger cooled. Maybe she should just find another shop. If the kid came back with parents that were larger than him, and he'd been kinda tall, she'd be in trouble. She wouldn't lose a fight or anything, of course, but she didn't want to have to explain to Mustang why she'd knocked some random kid's teeth in and brutalized his parents.

The image of Mustang lecturing her made her roll her eyes. God she was so close to quitting. One more week and she was out of that place. Finally. Not that she actually wanted to leave the team, just never work for the military again. Ever.

She could hear voices from inside the shop. They sounded too polite to have raised an asshole child. Get fucked? Stupid kid. The phrase bothered her. Not because she was offended by the kid's language or attitude, but because he was right. He was literally and technically correct. She needed to find someone to help her burn off some energy. Problem was she already had someone in mind. Someone who thought she was a nineteen year old boy.

She turned and left. This wasn't worth it, and she was pretty sure she'd seen some tomatoes at a different place around the corner.

"Hey FullMetal."

Ed almost jumped out of her skin. "What the fuck Mustang!? Fucking hell, where did you come from?"

He ignored her question, "Did i just see you almost beat a child into the ground?"

"He was being an asshole. You'd know about that wouldn't you?"

She didn't turn to speak directly to him so she missed his, 'i want to have an argument' expression as they rounded the corner to the adjacent street, bringing them right up beside a park. This was her favourite spot at the market. A sprawling green park next to the river. She'd do her shopping then relax with a book and read until her stomach told her it was time to leave. Everything here calmed her. The soft grass, the sound of the breeze through the tree leaves, the river slowly flowing through the rocks.

"Did he call you short or something?"

"You sonuva-"

Mustang jumped sideways into the park as Ed spun, she dropped and kicked her leg out, almost catching him as he dodged left and closer to the tree cover.

Ed chased him, her temper spiking as he continued to evade the attacks. Stupid asshole always managing to ruin a perfectly good day!

With no plan in place, she leapt directly at him.

!-*-*-

Mustang grabbed Ed by the throat as she flew at him, it was easy because his arms were long and Ed was small. Her momentum brought them both down and they tumbled onto the park grass, but Ed had stopped fighting as soon as he'd made contact. "Roy..."

His first name?

Riza had said, go for the neck, and Riza, drunk after a date with Havoc, had said Ed was 23. Riza, after he'd asked 'what kind of man didn't have facial hair at 23' had said 'the kind that doesn't have a dick' and then she'd laughed. And Havoc looked nervous.

So he'd been following Ed today. To try the things Riza had said. To see if his new theories were correct. Even if 'his theories' had not technically been theorised but handed to him on a silver plate by a condescending drunk best friend.

And currently, sitting on top of Edward Elric, with his hand on Ed's throat, it looked like they just might have some merit.

He withdrew his hand, was he really a she? Was FullMetal actually a woman? He checked her reaction and corrected his thoughts, something tickling his libido, was FullMetal actually a submissive sex deprived woman?

It fucking looked like it.

Ed blinked up at him as she got her bearings back. Suddenly she flipped him. He hadn't been paying attention and she'd used his distraction against him, sitting firmly across his hips with a hungry spark in her eye.

Mustang had never been accosted in such a fashion, never ever ever, maybe twice. Or more. Ok, pretty frequently women tried to get in his pants in public. But usually he was dating those women and there was a pre-arranged situation. This was not pre-arranged and it was not a date. For fuck sakes he hadn't even known she was a woman.

Though, it was quickly turning into a 'situation'.

Ed had started nibbling at his neck and without waiting for any response from him, ripped his shirt open as she went lower. He needed to stop this before they were both arrested.

You started it. Mustang brushed off his subconscious. He knew he'd started it, that was a topic for later.

Right now he needed to do something about Amestris' top combat alchemist undoing his pants in a public park.