Nobody ever talked about how scary Alphonse was. It's almost as if they didn't know. Which was exactly the way he liked it. Quiet, careful, unassuming, barely fighting, never swearing. His role was in the background, always keeping an eye out for everyone, letting Ed be the loud and obnoxious one.
Until Ed wasn't here. Until Ed had been fucking kidnapped! Again!
Al glared at the General. This was his fault, Ed was missing and he was one hundred percent sure it was Roy's fault. Al could tell, even if he didn't have all the facts right at this exact moment.
Roy hadn't looked up from his paperwork, "Alphonse, you know how Ed is. He's young, he'll figure it out."
"Sir!"
Mustang looked at him, hints of guilt showing on his face.
Good.
He continued, "General. I'm going to let you in on some things here because as clever as you are, you seemed to have missed them."
They were in Mustang's office and Al was trying to be intimidating as he leaned forward on Roy's desk. It looked like he was succeeding since Mustang had backed up a few inches in his chair.
"I'm Ed's younger brother but I'm also stronger, smarter, and a better fighter than she is. Which, I'm hoping you realise, means that I'm stronger, smarter, and a better fighter than you. I've won every fight that Ed and I have ever had and she's proud of me for it. Ed is the best sibling anyone could ever ask for and you've let her get kidnapped."
Mustang's eyes went wide.
"Which brings me to some other points. Number one, Ed is a woman. Her name is Edaline and she's never been a boy. We thought it would be easier to get her into the military if we lied, and it worked. Second, Ed was born in 1895, not 1899, which makes her 22, not 18. Third, and probably the one you should be most concerned about: for reasons that i'm unable to comprehend Ed has a crush on you. She seems to think that you're a good person. Stupid, I know, I would have preferred if she'd gone for Havoc but here we are."
Mustang had no questions and it looked like his brain had frozen as he tried to process everything he was being told. Perfect, that should give a bit more weight to his actual threat.
Al brought out his best condescending sneer, "I'm telling you all this Roy so that you will be slightly more motivated to use your military resources in FINDING HER. Quickly! Before anything happens to her and I am forced to end your-"
"Sir!" Havoc appeared in the doorway and two sets of eyes turned their focus on him.
"They've found FullMetal and they're bringing him in to the hospital right now. No major injuries."
Mustang's voice cracked, "Thank you Lieutenant."
Havoc looked back and forth between his boss and the younger Elric before mumbling 'nope' and closing the door.
Alphonse turned back to Mustang, smiling, "Looks like today's your lucky day."