It was Christmas night at the Smash Mansion. All the presents have been opened, even more food was eaten (in the living room, because the dining room is still roofless), and Dark Pit was still locked in his room. Now, we check in on Lucina, Mr. Game & Watch, Sonic, and Samus. They were in Lucina's room playing "Pikmin 2" on the GameCube Marth got her for Christmas.

"This sucks." declared Sonic as he mashed buttons on his controller. If you didn't know better, you'd think he was trying to break the thing. "Why don't we play my DreamCast now? I got 'Samba De Amigo'!"

"Samda what?" asked Lucina. He held his controller up while trying to make his character go up on-screen. It was somehow helpful.

"BEEEEEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP!" said Mr.G&W.

That made Sonic gasp. "Sega consoles are NOT obsolete!" he screamed, on the verge of tears.

"Wait." Lucina paused the game and turned to the hedgehog. "Sega made a console?"

Sonic's jaw dropped to the ground. That somehow crushed his world. He then just sighed and placed his head in his hands.

Lucina kept staring at him, waiting for something. "Is that a no?" asked Lucina, somewhat confused.

"He wished it was a no," joked Samus.

While Sonic mourned about the truth, Crazy Hand burst into the room and started saying nonsense again: "Ho ho ho whoa, dudes! Y'all better come to the dining room! Come, my peasants! Wha ha ha!" He then flew out, bouncing off a wall as he speeded down the hall.

The four shared a confused look, then followed the crazy's path of destruction.

When they got to the dining room, they found the ceiling still gone, a foot of snow on the ground, and all the other Smashers there shivering and swearing under their breath like crazy.

"Oh, this looks promising..." mumbled Lucina as they walked over to the group.

Then Master Hand flew in and stood (?!) next to Crazy Hand. "Merry Christmas, everybody!" he cheered.

"Wah, wah, WAH!" "Oh, that Nintendo thing..." "I'm done for..." They mumbled back.

"Okay, down to business: We need to raise money to rebuild the roof. So we de-"

Pokemon Trainer raised his hand and just talked without anyone calling on him. "Uh, why don't we call up Nintendo and ask for the cash?" he asked.

"Yeah!" agreed Samus. "Just like last week when that darn Wario ate 5 breakfast burritos and caused the plumbing to back up!"

Master Hand shook his non-existent head. "Because we get a $5,000 budget every month, and we already blew it on that!"

"WHOA!" gasped Pac-Man. "$5,000!?"

"I could buy so many breakfast burritos with that kind of mola..." Wario whispered to himself.

"Okay, so I want you guys to help earn the money," said Master Hand as he pulled out a list of Smashers. "I'm gonna called out who will have the honor of going Christmas caroling tonight, so-"

"CHRISTMAS CAROLING?!" all the Smashers yelled. How could they make roof money by singing?

Master Hand, however, didn't care about their concerns. After all, this was the only plan he had. "-when I say your name, come stand by me. Got it? Good. Now, of course, first in Jigglypuff."

"Jigglepuff!" sang the Pokémon as she waddled over.

"Next up, no shocker, Peach."

"La la la la!" she skipped over.

"Ash, Snake, Roy..."

The men covered their faces as they walked over.

"Dude, Old Snake, nice shirt." joked Ash as he pointed at the spy's tacky, tasteless, downright horrible Snoopy and Charlie Brown Christmas sweater he was wearing. It was a bootleg, too. For some reason, Snoopy's dog house was ivory and Qhristmas was spelled with a Q.

"It was a gift," was all Snake could say.

"Pit, Sonic, King Dedede, Lucina, and Morton."

"I AM PROUD OF YA, SON!" Bowser called out to Morton as he joined the others.

"Ugh, Dad..." he mourned as he rode up.

"Okay. That's everybody." said Master Hand. "The rest of you, grab a red bucket, go stand in front of a WalMart or Sears or something, and ring a bell."

"Hey," Falco butted in. "Isn't that what Salvation Arm-"

"Just get your five dollar butts out there before I start making change," the glove demanded.

"Gotcha!" "Don't have to tell me twice!" "I don't get it..." the others said as they did as they were told.

"And you ten!" he turned to them. "each grab a songbook on the table and go sing for money!"

About a handful of minutes later, the ten made it to the first house. Which happened to be around fifteen blocks away. Despite the snowy weather, they were all hot and sweaty. -Except Sonic, of course.

"Where you guys been?" asked Sonic, who got there a handful of minutes before them. "I already read all of these guys' mail!" He held up some letters. One of them was from the IRS.

"We had to... gasped!... run our over-stuffed bodies... puff... all the way here!... whew!... Too much fruitcake..." puffed Peach before passing out.

"Oh, and anything about us being too slow, I'll dye your eyes again!" declared Morton.

"Alright, guys, I get it!" Sonic said as he rang the doorbell. "Lets just get this over with."

After seconds later, Conker the Squirrel answered the door. "Hey, hey, all of you!" he declared, his voice swirling just like the rest of him. "Happy, happy Christmas to ya gents! Or, is it Easter? Gee, what a world!"

The carolers shared a worried look. Yup, this squirrel was definitely wasted. They decided to just get the singing over with so they could beg for money and get the heck out of there.

The opened the books and began:

"Jingle bells, Jingle bells

Jingle all the way!

Oh, we're riding a rocket to

Mars to stay!

Oh, dashing pass the meteors-"

"Whoa, whoa, stop!" Morton waved his arms and signaled everyone to stop. He stared at the booklet with confusion. "Did Samus write this?"

"No," she replied. "I think these things are from Wish,"

They all stopped singing. By then, Conker was rolling on the ground laughing and half asleep.

"What kind of Jingle Bells was that?!" asked Morton.

"It was just the book said to sing," answered King Dedede.

"Jigglypuff!" declared the Pokémon.

"Hey," mumbled Ash as he stared at the back of his book. "This ain't from Wish! It's worse! Master Hand bought these from a blue light sale at K-Mart!"

"They... don't do blue light sales anymore..." said Snake.

"Gosh, that glove is such a cheapskate." declared Sonic, throwing his booklet aside.

"Uh, guys," Pit pointed at Conker. "I think he's out cold." They all looked over and saw the squirrel passed out in a pool of his own drool.

"Good deduction work, Sherlock." joked Snake as he bent down and picked Conker's pockets.

"Dude," said Ash. "Isn't that illegal?"

Snake rolled his eyes. "Those this look like a face that cares?" he joked. "Besides, I've done far worse than this,"

"Oh, right, I forgot," said Sonic, shaking his head. "You must be talking about that time you wore a sweater with Snoopy on it."

Before Snake could get out his gun, he was interrupted by wades of money jumping out of a picked pocket. They had eyes and could talk!

"Man, you guys suck at singing!" one said the moment he came out.

"Uh..." mumbled Peach. "Maybe we should wait for the squirrely to wake up before-"

"CONKER!" they heard Berri yell from inside the house. "WHO DRANK ALL MY MOUTH WASH?"

They all took that as their que to leave. Lucina grabbed the talking money and got the heck outta there.

Okay, imagine there is three feet of snow in front of your house (even if you live in Florida or Hawaii or like that). Then you hear a knock on the door. Your mom answers it and she finds a balloon with legs, a princess, a Pokémon trainer, a spy, a dude in a cape, an angel, a hedgehog, a bird king, another princess, and a mutant turtle standing in front of her wanting to sing for money. How do you think your mom would react?

Yeah, mine would scream, slam it shut, and barricade the door, too. So you take a wild guess how the caroling is going. In fact, it took them FORTY WHOLE MINUTES -and 8 doors slammed in their faces- to find another house to actual give them a chance.

And it happened to be a bamboo hut with animal residents.

"WHOA!" declared Crash Bandicoot when he found the half frozen singers on his doorstep.

"Hit it, gang!" Pit cheered as he pointed to his friends to sing.

Deck the jail with merry singing!

Fa la la la la la la!

Pass the bread as our ears are ringing!

Fa la la la la la la la la la la!

The prison clothes orange and dirty!

Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!

Having freedom; we're not worthy!

Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la (GASP) la la la la la la la la!

Crash just stood there trying not to laugh as the ten tried not to pass out from all the la la la's.

"Crash!" they heard a girl call out. "What is with all the ridiculous-"

Cocoa Bandicoot came out. She studied the group for a moment, then broke out in the craziest, happiest smile you could imagine.

"SONIC, LOOOOOVE!" she screamed as she fell into his arms and covered him with kisses.

"What?" asked Ash. "And why?"

"Oh! Hey, guys!" laughed Sonic falling to the ground, embracing a kissing-obsessed Cocoa. "Meet my girlfriend!"

It took all of them awhile to have that statement sink in. When it finally did, Crash grabbed his little sister, pushed her into the hut, punched Sonic in the face, shoved a twenty into Jigglypuff's arms, went back inside and slammed the door behind him.

Snake picked up the dazed hedgehog and began walking to the next house. The others followed.

"Uh, what just happened?" Pit asked everyone and no one at the same time.

Roy decided to answer. "I think Sonic's dead. If that bandicoot doesn't kill Sonic, Amy definitely will."

After another 3 door slammings, they came to... Bayonetta's house?!

"Hold on!" said Morton. "Why the heck would Bayonetta -hot, sassy, big talker Bayonetta- live at a house in a neighborhood that houses us?!"

(Author's note: This was originally written around 2014, which is about 2 years before Bayonette joined Smash. I am taking full credit for predicting her joining the game. Thank you.)

(Oh, and Sonic woke up 15 minutes ago and read her mail. That's how they know it's her house.)

"Good question." commented King Dedede. "Lets find out!"

He knocked on the door like he was using a hammer.

"Uh, everybody?" mumbled Snake. "There's probably something I should tell you before-"

"NOT NOW, BEARDED MAN!" Dedede yelled. "I'M A KNOCKING!"

Now he was knocking like he was using a SLEDGEhammer. The door threw open and out stepped the woman in question holding her favorite gun.

"Why, you no good, mouth breathing, fools from-" she began to rant. But then she noticed Snake.

"Oh. MY. WORD."

She dropped her weapon and burst out laughing. "David! You got the gag gift (ha ha ha!) I sent you!"

The Smashers looked over to Snake, who for the first time in his life his cheeks were red.

"Snake," said Lucina, trying to talk over the laughter. "You KNOW her?"

Sonic, who was only half alive, was able to pick up what was being put down. The sweater? The blushing? The giggling? This could only mean one thing. "Oh, my God," said Sonic. "You guys volunteer together, don't you?"

"Oh, my God. They're dating, Sonic! They must be dating!" said Lucina, who was embarrassed for Sonic.

"I think Crash punched Sonic a little harder than we though," Roy said, checking Sonic's pupils. They're still there.

"Wow, Davy, you really associate yourself with these people?" Bayonette laughed.

Snake crossed his arms. "I associated myself with you,"

That made Bayonette stop laughing. "That's not funny," she hissed. "Listen, first off, I'm pet sitting for a friend; and if you care about your livelihood, I suggest you don't ask why. And second," She went back inside her house, and afew seconds later came back out carrying a huge money bag.

"I've heard you can use some money to fix that mansion's roof." she said as she dropped it on the ground. "Will 10 thousand bucks do it?"

"Will it?!" cheered Peach as she hugged the bag.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!" exclaimed Ash.

"She must of used her powers!" declared Pit. "Bayonetta must of sensed our troubles and decided to-"

"Actually," Bayonetta broke in. "I just read about all of your 'troubles' on Sonic's Twitter feed."

"Of course," Pit said.

"Oh," said Pit. "Well, that was going to be my second guess!"

"I'm sure it was, darling." Bayonette patted Pit's head.

"Hold on," said Morton as he scratched his head. "Where did you get all the greens?!"

"The bank was having a sale." she joked.

"Oh, makes sense. But why are YOU being so generous to US?"

Bayonette laughed, which made Snake blush again. "It's Christmas, darling!"

YEAH! Smash Mansion will once again have a roof over its dining room! Hoozah!

Thank you again for reading! Our beloved Smashers will be back to ruining the poor Smash kitchen again shortly! Please leave a review if you actually give a damn!

(Author's note again: This chapter was edited in 2022 to update Bayonetta's statue in Smash, fix grammar and dialog, and remove certain jokes that are no longer funny. The original story and purpose of this chapter were not changed.)