"Welcome to your new home, Ryu!" Master Hand declared after he carried him into the mansion and dropped the fighter onto the floor. "I admit, it's a little tacky, but there's a roof over us, so this place is doing better than last Christmas Eve! Ha ha ha, gee I wished that was just a joke..." the glove sighed. "Oh, well. This is still home. Not half bad, right Ryu? Ryu?..."

The man in question just lied face-first on the floor. He could tell from just the state of the carpet that his "new home" was far worst that "half bad". It was dirty, like any carpet would be. But it was so dirty, he bet anything actual dirt would be more pleasant to lie on. It was moldier than cheese. And smelled like motor oil and... blood? Oh, gosh, it's blood!

Ryu rushed to his feet. He hated the feeling of lying in blood that's not his. He dry-heaved a little, then shivered all over. "The carpet has blood in it," he informed Master Hand after that episode of nausea.

"Oh, that." the hand waved the fact aside. "Yeah, that's probably Fox's. Or Shulk's. We've stopped keeping track after Brawl. Wendy was suppose to be in charge of cleaning up bodily fluids, but..."

"...Ain't nobody got time for that!" the girl in question laughed as she rode in. She parked in front of Ryu, pulled a Red Bull out of her ride, and began chugging it down.

Ryu made a face, but Master Hand just waved this all aside because it was normal. "Hi, Wendy!" the hand said. "I'm glad you're here. Listen, can you-"

"Ha!" the girl turtle laughed as she threw the drink at Master. "Like I said earlier, ain't nobody got time for that!"

"You don't even know what I was going to ask!" Master Hand exclaimed.

"Ha ha ha! Ain't nobody got time for that! Ain't nobody got time for that!..." she kept repeating as she pulled out of park and went laughing towards one of the two bathroom.

By now Ryu needed mental help. "What was THAT thing?!" he asked as he pointed to where Wendy went.

"Hm?" Master Hand looked down from the crack in the ceiling he was studying. He noticed the perplexity on Ryu's face for the twentieth time today. "Oh! Oh, that was Wendy. She's Bowser's only daughter (as far as we know). Just ignore her actions. It's completely normal."

"Excuse me?" shrieked Ryu as he ran his hands through his hair, trying to take this all in. "It's completely NORMAL?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, at least in her case. She gets her love for laughing like a hyena from her mother. Well, I guess it's from her mom. Gee, if only we knew who her mom is..."

Ryu's left eye began twitching. He looked around the room in a daze, trying to get a hold of himself.

The entrance was in a even worst state that the floor. The walls were a yellowish-brown color, kind of like a old banana. They probably use to be white, but have aged disgracefully. The ceiling was in the same state, too, but with over a dozen cracks in it. Water was slowly coming in from said cracks and dripping down to the fur-like carpet, which Ryu could still smell. And don't even get me started on their poor excuse of furniture they had in random corners.

After studying all of that, his right eye began to twitch as well. "Has... Has this place always been so cruddy?" he mumbled to the glove.

"Actually, no." Master Hand sighed.

"Wait, wait, wait." Ryu began waving his hands back and forth as if to signal Master to stop the plane. "There was a time this place wasn't a trash heap? This place looks like it's been a dump since the beginning of time."

Master Hand shrugged. "Yeah, I know. We're not proud of it. But this place-"

"-Is like this because of THIS little guy!"

The two looked over and saw come gliding out of the library (Oh, right. This place has a library. Almost forgot.), dragging a Pit behind her. Palutena look very upset about her existence. But Pit just sat there, letting her drag his butt across the floor, as if this was completely normal. -In fact, it probably was.

"Oh, hello!" Master Hand waved to the two Skyworld residents. "Pit and Palu-"

"Palutena and Pit." the lady interrupted him as she motioned Pit this get his rear off the ground and stand up straight.

"Oh, right. Palutena and Pit, what are you two doing here? I thought you two were suppose to be smashing with Peach and Greninja."

"It got canceled." Pit answered.

"What? Why?"

"Because Greninja is busy getting over a hangover." Palutena replied. "In short, it's Pit's fault!"

"Lady Palutenaaaaaaaaa," Pit groaned like a child. "They don't have to knooooooow."

Ryu became interested. So there's a excuse for this place making the Chum Bucket look like The White House? Now that is a must-know. "No, please. I have to here more." said Ryu. "It might help me stop going crazy."

Palutena turn to Ryu and smile. "Well," she said. "It's because-"

"Please dooooooooon't," Pit groaned, but was ignored.

"-Pit had to go and open his big mouth and get us a TEEN rating!"

Master Hand and Ryu just stood there in confusion. Then Master Hand exclaimed, "Now, to explain in the next chapter!"

GOSH DANM, THAT TOOK FOREVER.

Okay, I know I said I'll post at least one chapter a month, but for some reason I'm having the worst writers block. So I'm taking September off.

But do not fret! I'm not leaving forever. This fanfic WILL get a official ending. Just not anytime soon.

ONWARD!

(P.S. Please leave a review and junk.)