Before me and Master Hand suddenly fall onto a bunch of Smashers, I'm going to write you something I've been wanting to write for about a month:
A checking up with Snake.
Back at the Smash Mansion, Snake was awoken by loud thumping. Thump thump clunk thump. At first he thought it was coming from Lucina's room again, but then he realized the noise was underneath him, not next to him. Snake reached down to the floor and knocked the ground three times, hoping the people underneath him would take a hint. But the noise just continued, not noticing the knocking. Snake then just remembered Toon Link's bedroom was underneath his. He groaned as he covered his head with his pillow, figuring Toon Link was remodeling his waterslide again.
The noises was bound to continue until at least noon, so it was hopeless to try to fall back to sleep. Snake took the pillow off his face and tossed it onto the floor, landing right next to one of Bayonetta's multiple pairs of shoes.
Snake dragged himself out of bed, careful not to step on one of the random articles of clothing on the floor. He reached over to one of the bed post and grabbed his pants that were hanging off of it. He got up and hopped about, trying to put them on. But naturally, by doing that he stepped on something and fell over.
He caught himself right before he landed on his face. He then picked himself up like nothing happened, finished getting dressed, and left the room. He was careful closing the door; somehow Bayonetta was still asleep and he didn't want to wake her up. But by the looks of it, a atomic bomb could not disturb her slumber.
Once out of the room, he headed to the elevator. Yes, Smash Mansion has an elevator. But don't forget, this is an Smash Mansion elevator. So it's special.
"Good morning, Snake!" exclaimed Pit, who was right next to the elevator, helping Olimar and Yoshi hold onto some kind of rope that was connected to something at the bottom of the elevator shaft.
"Morning, everyone." Snake waved.
"Yoshi! Yoshi!" replied Yoshi.
Olimar just smiled and gave a little nod.
"So," said Snake, staring at his watch. "You think I might actually have a chance at using the elevator soon?"
"Oh, yes! Absolutely!" Pit told him with confidence. "We just have to haul this load up, and it's yours."
Snake nod, but didn't really believe the little guy. Pit said that the last time he was on elevator duty and it took twenty minutes for the elevator to finally be available. Sure, it was Bowser who caused the wait, but still. Twenty minutes is like two years in pikmin time, how could let anyone wait that long?
Ding! Ding!
"Yoshi! Yoshi Yoshi!" the little dinosaur exclaimed, pointing down the elevator shaft.
"I heard it, Yoshi. Don't worry." Pit said. "Now pull!"
The angel, midget in a space suit, and little dinosaur held onto the rope with dear life and began slowly pulling the elevator up. Snake chuckled to himself at the sight of this joke setup, but then realized 'a man named Snake' would make a great setup for a joke too, and stopped laughing.
Inch by inch, the three little guys pulled that rope with all their might. Finally, the elevator reach the floor they were on. Grateful of their success, yet completely beat from all the pulling, Olimar let go of the rope and collapsed to the floor.
"Olly! Nooo!" exclaimed Pit as he gasped at the spaceman. The rope began slipping out of what's left of the elevator duty's hands and the elevator started going back down the shaft in record speed. "Arrrgh!" screamed Pit as he and Yoshi tried to stop the rope from slipping through their hands, but all that did was give them a bunch of splinters and cause the rope to give off some smoke.
Snake sighed. Once again, he had to save the day. He reached over and grabbed the end of the rope. "Hold on!" he mumbled as he yanked on the rope.
Now a man named Snake, a angel, and a little dinosaur were pulling the elevator up while a midget in a space suit was resting on the floor. -And on Olimar's defense, pulling that elevator was the most exercise he's done so far this year.
Finally, the elevator was back. Snake tied the rope up to the elevator anchor before another disaster could unravel. The doors of it opened to reveal Ike and Zelda dressed in Hawaiian entire, holding hands, and looking the happiest they've ever have.
Snake wiped the sweat off his forehead before saying, "Hey, the newlyweds are back."
"Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi!" declared Yoshi as he ran up to the couple and gave them a huge hug.
"Aww! Hi Yoshi!" Zelda said as she and Ike hugged the little dino back. "I can't believe you missed us!"
"Of course he did!" Ike told her as Yoshi let go and ran back behind Pit. "We're a walking party!"
"That, and you two were gone for a whole damn month," Snake interjected. He then pulled a cigar out of his pocket and held it between his teeth. "That's a long time to go without old people jokes and outdated war trivia." He dug around in his pockets for something, but came out empty handed. "Hey, princess, can you lite his for me?" Snake asked Zelda, motioning to his cigar. "Fire is one of your powers, right?"
Zelda made a face that you wouldn't want royalty to make at you, while Ike pushed Snake aside. "Really? We haven't been back from our honeymoon for two seconds, and you're already picking on her?" he asked as they stepped off the elevator.
"Awww. You expected more from me. You are adorable." Snake scoffed as he got in the elevator. "So was that a yes or a no on the fire thing?"
"Here's your no!" Zelda exclaimed as she used her powers to slam the elevator right in the spy's face. Ike laughed as he and his wife walked away.
"Glad to have you guys back!" Pit called after them.
Snake rolled his eyes at the sound of Pit being a complete suck-up again. "Just take me to the second floor."
"Roger!" Pit did a salute for some reason. He turned to Olimar and tapped on the glass of his helmet. "Get up, Olly! Your shift isn't over yet!"
Once Olimar got his but off the floor, Pit untied the rope and the three little guys slowly let the elevator down with Snake inside, who was able to find a match on the floor and use it to lite his cigar.
GAH! Almost forgot my editorial! Gah!
Well, thanks once again for reading!