If you'll notice, all the chapter titles are named after songs. I'd recommend looking them up as they come.

Angel Dust tumbled off his stool. Vaggie dropped her spear. Charlie's mouth fell open. Husk just went on drinking his bottle.

"You're…married?" Charlie said.

"Were married," Tina said, still glaring at Alastor.

"Still married." Alastor held up his hand, showing off the black wedding ring on his finger.

Angel sat up on the floor, extending his upper arms. "Where the fuck's he been hidin' that thing?"

"Only cuz apparently," Tina said, pushing Alastor's hand away, "they don't do divorce down here! Ironically!"

"Did I not mention that when I proposed?" Alastor asked innocently.

She crossed her arms. "As far as I'm concerned, our marriage has been over for ten years!"

"Not in the eyes of Satan. Which reminds me!" He snapped his fingers. "Happy Anniversary!"

A pair of purple loafers appeared in Alastor's hands. He held them out to her expectantly. Angel Dust, Charlie and Vaggie all shared a look.

Tina grabbed the shoes and tossed them over her shoulder. "What game are ya playin' here? Since when do you believe in redemption?"

"To be frank, dear, you inspired me!" Alastor booped her nose, making her growl. "You're always trying to pointlessly better yourself and other demons, I simply had to try it myself!"

"Uh-huh." She placed a hand on her hip. "And I suppose it's just a coincidence ya got involved in this kind of work the same time my business literally blows up?"

He hummed. "I won't deny that I caught wind of the tragedy."

"You're kiddin'." Her shoulders tensed. "Is this all some kind of convoluted plan to win me back?"

"Not everything's about you, darling." Alastor wagged his finger and tsked. "So narcissistic."

"You're one to talk, Great Prince of the Forest!"

"I don't know what this whole thing is," Angel Dust said, smiling as he stood back up, "but I'm lovin' it."

"Wait, wait, wait." Vaggie held up her hands. "Back up. You've had a wife this whole time?"

"Of course!" Alastor said. "Weren't you listening, Vagatha?"

"How'd we not know about this?"

"Actually, now that I think about it," Charlie said, tapping her fingers together, "my dad did say something about officiating the Radio Demon's wedding some decades ago. But I didn't know Alastor then, much less his wife. And Al, you've never really talked about her before, so I assumed that something may have, uh…that maybe she'd been, uh…"

"Exterminated? Ha-ha-ha!" Alastor patted Tina on the head. "As if I would let a blasted angel harm a hair on my wife's pretty little head!"

Tina stepped back from him. "Don't touch me!"

"He did mention a wife to me," Angel said, leaning against the bar. "I thought he was just makin' excuses not to fuck me."

Husk snorted. "Yeah, that's why."

Angel put his lower hands on his hips, slamming his other two on the counter. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

Tina and Alastor went on with their argument as if they hadn't been interrupted.

"You just can't keep your goddamn pointy nose outta my fuckin' business, can ya?" Tina folded her arms and turned her back to him.

"Sweetheart." Alastor placed his hands on her shoulders. "Your business has been mine from the moment we said 'I do.'"

She shrugged him off. "That's it, I'm outta here."

Tina stomped towards the exit.

"Wait!" Charlie ran after her. "You can't leave! What about all those sinners you wanted redeemed?"

"Nope! Not if it means movin' back in with that creep!"

Before Tina could reach the knob, Alastor teleported in front of her, wearing a smug grin.

"So, you're going to leave a hundred fifty demons utterly homeless?" He leaned in close enough for their noses to touch. "And I thought you didn't want to be a selfish person, darling. Or are you going to abandon all those charges of yours out in the cold, alone, helpless, no one to care for them?" Static buzzed around them both. "Not because you aren't able to, but to keep your own, stubborn pride intact?"

Alastor's words cut through Tina's heart like a knife. He had gone much too far.

She snarled, her fangs and claws sharpening as she grew. When she next blinked, her eyes went pitch black.

"You," she said in a deep, demonic voice, "fuckin'," she was now two feet taller than Alastor, "BASTARD!"

"Oh shit," Charlie said.

"Ooh, hoo, hoo!" Angel clapped his upper hands excitedly, pulling out his phone to take a video. "This is gonna be sweet!"

Vaggie picked up her spear, ready to intervene. There was no doubt the Radio Demon was going to fight back or pull some kind of Vodou trick. He didn't respond to threats lightly.

Then Alastor surprised them once again. He grabbed Tina's fuming face and pressed his lips to hers.

Angel, Vaggie and Charlie gaped. The Radio Demon, who rejected even the slightest touch of affection, was actually kissing someone.

The kiss only lasted a second. The moment their lips disconnected with a mwah, Tina's demon form deflated. She blinked up at Alastor as he continued to hold her face.

"Ah, Tina," he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers. "You're even lovelier than the day I first laid eyes on you."

Tina slapped Alastor so hard, his head spun a hundred eighty degrees. Angel covered his mouth to keep himself from laughing. The recording was still going.

"Oh, ho!" Alastor used one finger to twist his head back into position. "Stronger too!"

"To think I was gonna go to a boring old club and miss out on this action," Angel whispered to Husk. "Who'd've thought the Radio Demon had a masochist kink?"

"Turn that video off!" Vaggie swiped the phone from him. "The last thing we need is more bad publicity!"

"Hey, hey!" Charlie stepped between the couple. "Let's just calm down and talk this out, okay?"

"Oh, I've been calm through this entire ordeal, Charlie!" Alastor smirked at Tina. "She's the one who can't seem to let go of anything but her manners!"

Tina flapped her wings and hissed.

"Okay, clearly," Charlie said, holding up her hands to separate them, "you two have some, err, issues to work out. So! Tina." She clasped her hands together and pointed to the Songbat. "You want to partner with the hotel so that your displaced employees can have a home, right?"

Keeping her glare on Alastor, Tina lowered herself to the floor. "Right."

"And Al," Charlie said, pointing to the Radio Demon, "you want to help with the hotel for…" She glanced between him and Tina. "Reasons. So…why don't we come to some sort of agreement?"

"With him?" Tina folded her arms and turned away with a huff. "Been there, done that."

Alastor narrowed his eyes and matched her pose. "At least I know how to keep an agreement."

"I haven't broken one fuckin' rule!"

"Oh, really? 'To have and to hold, for better or worse, in sickness and in health?'"

"That was not part of our vows, and you know it!"

Now Alastor had his back to her. "I had thought it obvious when you accepted my ring!"

"You're puttin' the whole thing out of order, Al!"

"Hey, come on!" Charlie tried to sound chipper. "Can't we work this out? You at least agree that you both wanna help with hotel, right?"

"Charlie," Vaggie said, curling her finger, "can I talk to you for a sec?"

Charlie took one more look at the couple facing away from each other. "Excuse me."

The Princess went over to her girlfriend, who pulled her into the farthest corner of the lobby.

"I know it's in your nature to wanna try and fix everything and everybody," Vaggie whispered, "but you shouldn't get involved in other people's marriage problems."

"Why not?" Charlie said. "This whole project is about second chances, isn't it? And if they both wanna help, isn't this a sign they should give their marriage a second chance? I mean look at them."

She gestured to the couple. Though they still had their backs to each other, Alastor was stealing a glance at Tina out of the corner of his eye. Tina, meanwhile, was looking downward, closing her hand around her amethyst brooch. She then glanced back at him and he quickly flitted his eyes forward.

"They may be going through a rough patch," Charlie said, "but it's obvious they're still into each other. My parents get into fights all the time and sometimes go weeks without talking to each other. But they always manage to work things out in the end."

"It's not our place to decide that, hon," Vaggie said, taking her by the shoulders. "If she doesn't wanna get back together with him, I say good for her. He's not exactly 'loving husband' material, is he?"

"We don't know that. You see how happy he is to see her? And he must love her if he doesn't show interest in anyone else. Besides, I thought you wanted us to take Tina's deal."

"Yes, but…" Vaggie pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's gonna be a problem if those two are bickering all the time."

"But it's a hundred and fifty possible redeemed sinners! How can we pass up an opportunity like this?"

"In that case," Vaggie said, jerking her thumb at the couple, "if the Songbat's in, the Radio Demon's out."

"Vaggie, we can't do that. Al has done so much for this hotel."

"Has he? So far, all he's done is clean the place up a bit and bring in two staff members. If you ask me, the Songbat's plan is way more concrete."

"But we can't just turn Al away. He protects the hotel, remember? And besides," Charlie lowered her voice, "maybe, just maybe, patching things up with his wife is just what he needs to redeem himself."

Vaggie bit her lip. "That's…a bit of a stretch, hon. Loving one person doesn't erase all the sins he's committed on thousands of others."

Charlie smirked and booped her nose. "Even your sins?"

The moth demon grunted. "That's not fair."

"We can at least try. Tina suggested a thirty-day trial period, didn't she? If she doesn't sort things out with Al by then, we'll at least get some new people in here."

"Ya know we can hear every word y'all are sayin', right?"

Vaggie and Charlie turned to the Songbat with wide eyes. She pointed to her ears.

"Bats have pretty strong hearin'."

Alastor chuckled. "Seems the Princess takes after her father when it comes to meddling in romantic affairs."

Vaggie and Charlie blushed heavily. Angel Dust burst out laughing, clutching his stomach with his lower hands and pointing at the embarrassed ladies with an upper hand.

"Fine." Charlie straightened up. "If you heard all that, then you'll know we're willing to collaborate with both of you, if you'll set your differences aside for the sake of this hotel."

"I have no qualms with us working together." Alastor turned to Tina. "It'll be like old times, n'est-ce pas, ma petite amie?"

Tina huffed. "I am not gettin' back together with you."

"No one says you have to," Vaggie said. "But Charlie has a point. You both have much to offer the hotel." She darted her eye at Alastor. "Barely."

"Like you said, Miss Twinkle," Charlie said, "we'll start with a thirty-day trial period. Then you can decide whether this will work out or not."

"Your employees are desperate for shelter, darling," Alastor said, showing his teeth. "What choice do you have?"

Tina glanced back at her husband and then at the other managers. It was true, she'd been searching for a way to either restore her club or find a new place for her employees. Construction workers in Hell charged too much and proved to be too slow due to frequent lunch breaks. For the last three weeks, she and her employees have been squatting in the wreckage of what was once their home. Some had moved on, but others didn't want to risk dealing with a more dangerous employer.

She thought of all those former sex workers. If she didn't provide for them soon, they'd be crawling to that sleazebag Valentino. It hadn't been easy getting them out of their previous contracts. There'd be no helping them if they fell back into his clutches.

Sighing, Tina faced her husband. "Fine. But I won't be takin' any handshakes from you. We're signin' a good old-fashioned contract."

Alastor clapped his hands, accompanied by an applause track. "Oh, I'm so glad you've come to your senses, my dear!"

He opened his arms to embrace her.

"Wait!" She held up a hand. "You and I will be colleagues. Nothin' more. For thirty days. Soon as my employees are settled, I'm out."

Alastor put down his arms and widened his grin. "If that is your wish, my dear."

"Perfect!" Charlie hooked her arms around both their necks. "Let's go sign some paperwork then!"

As they followed her into the office, Alastor's eyes glowed with delight.

Thirty days. That was more than enough time to win back the heart of his beloved.

He knew this hotel had been a good investment.

Reluctantly, Tina agreed to stay for dinner. It was getting late and she hadn't had a decent meal in weeks. Charlie and Vaggie also wanted to discuss a few more details on how many rooms they would have to prepare and how many of Tina's employees were interested in being guests or staff.

Then she found out Alastor was cooking.

"Why him?" Tina asked Charlie.

She shrugged. "He's the best cook we have."

Tina rolled her eyes. "Luckily, I've got more kitchen staff in line."

There was a loud gasp behind them. "Mrs. Tina!"

Niffty dashed into the dining room like a bullet and flung her arms around Tina's waist. "Oh my gosh! It's been so long since I've seen you I was worried you might've been exterminated or something! How are you? Oh you look so lovely! Have you seen Al yet cuz he's been worried sick about you!"

Tina laughed and patted her head. "Nice to see ya too, Niffty."

Niffty took her hands. "I'd love to catch up but I have to go help Al in the kitchen but we'll talk later you're staying for dinner, right?"

She zipped through the doors to the kitchen. Tina shook her head. "She hasn't changed much."

Husk slumped into the dining room, carrying a bottle. "You could've at least kept in contact with the kid. She's missed ya."

"She would've blabbed to Al." Tina crossed her arms. "Ya could've let me know he was workin' here. Would've saved me the trouble of comin'."

The cat shrugged as he sat at the table. "I didn't think you'd set foot in a dump like this."

"Yeah?" She glanced sideways at the kitchen doors. "Well, looks like Al knows me better than you do."

Tina groaned as she took a seat beside Husk and put her head in her hands. The whole reason she'd chosen to come to the hotel in the first place was so she wouldn't have to resort to asking her husband for help. He would've done it, too. Rebuilt her club with a snap of her fingers, probably would've made it bigger, even. Anything to get her back.

Except for that one thing she really wanted from him.

"So," Angel Dust said, sliding into the seat on the right of Tina. "You and Smiles, huh?"

"Unfortunately."

He leaned onto his upper palm and slung his lower arm over her shoulder. "What's the sex like?"

"Like an H-major chord," Tina said, lifting his arm off.

"That code for bondage or something?" Clearly, the joke hadn't landed. "Seriously, though. How big is his cock?"

She scoffed. "You're barkin' up the wrong tree."

"That big, huh? Ya sayin' I don't stand a chance?"

Tina raised an eyebrow. "Ya seriously askin' how to seduce my husband?"

She hoped Alastor hadn't heard her Freudian slip of leaving out the "ex" prefix.

"Oh, I ain't one to get mixed up in other people's marriages. Unless they pay me, of course." Angel held up his upper hands and sent her a wink. "But hey, I ain't against a threesome if you and Smiles are into that kinda shit."

"Ha!" She shook her head. "Ya think I can persuade him? The only thing he'd be interested in doin' with someone as promiscuous as you is castration."

"Ouch." Angel faked a cringe as he leaned in close. "You've got spunk, babe. If you were a dude, I'd screw ya for free."

"If you were a dude," Tina said, pushing his face away with a finger, "I'd kick ya in the balls. Backwards, with my stiletto heel."

"Ooh." Angel shivered. "Savage, girl. I'm startin' to see what Bambi sees in ya." He shrugged his upper arms. "If I'd known he preferred the aggressive type, I would've changed my approach ages ago. So, what's he into? Handcuffs? Whips? Knife play?" He snapped four sets of fingers and pointed at her. "Bet your Hannibal hubby gives some hella hickeys with those fangs, am I right?"

Tina rolled her eyes. "As much as I'd love to satisfy your curiosity 'bout my husband's sex life, I'd rather keep my food down, thanks. But I can tell ya, Sugar, if Al starts bitin' ya, that's not what he has in mind."

Angel gulped at her ominous tone. "Jesus, ya have a comeback for everything, don't ya, toots?"

"Don't bother trying to win an argument with her," Husk grumbled as he chugged down his booze.

"Now how come you didn't say anything about Al havin' a wife?"

"None of my business. Plus," the cat said with a smirk, "it was fun seeing ya make a fool of yourself with all your pointless flirting."

Angel's jaw dropped.

"Close that mouth, hon," Tina said. "Ya won't catch dick that way."

Husk laughed as they shared a fist bump. "Hasn't been the same without ya, kid."

"Missed ya too, Husker."

Angel pouted and crossed his lower arms. "So you'll laugh at her jokes but not mine?"

Husk pointed a claw at Tina. "She doesn't try to be funny."

Angel looked away, red in the face. Vaggie snickered as she took her seat across from them. She had to admit it felt satisfying seeing someone put Angel in his place. Perhaps, for once, there was someone she could finally get along with other than Charlie.

"Soup's on, everyone!" Alastor called.

The doors swung open as he and Niffty wheeled in the dining cart. Charlie clapped her hands as she sat down next to Vaggie. Alastor began pouring everyone drinks as Niffty handed out the plates. Tina stiffened when she saw the main course.

"The hell's this supposed to be?" Angel asked, poking the breadcrumb patties with his fork.

"Fried green tomatoes!" Alastor exclaimed as he poured Charlie a glass of orange juice. "They're quite popular in Alabama!"

Tina crossed her arms. Of course he'd make one of her favorite dishes. It was the first thing she'd ever cooked for him.

He wasn't pulling any punches.

Alastor came round to her side of the table with the pitcher of juice. Husk held up his bottle, so Alastor skipped him over. The corners of his mouth crept up an inch as he approached Tina. She didn't look at him as he filled her glass.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" Tina asked.

Alastor bent down to her level. "Aren't you going to ask, 'Where's the soup?'"

The question was lost on everyone except Tina, who rolled her eyes. "Where's the soup?"

"I couldn't serve it! It's soup-er cold! Ha-ha-ha!"

Niffty laughed along with Alastor's laugh track. He eagerly awaited Tina's response.

"The juice is overflowin', Al."

Alastor tipped the pitcher upward. "Oopsie! Clumsy me!" He grabbed Husk's napkin to clean up the spill. "Seems I juice can't catch a break today! Ah-ha-ha-ha!"

Everyone but Charlie and Niffty facepalmed. Those two politely giggled.

"Orange you glad that wasn't acid, darling? Could've burned right through your dress! Ha-ha-ha!"

Alastor kept scrubbing the table, watching Tina, waiting for her to laugh, shut him down with how corny his jokes were, make a snark reply, anything.

What he got was: "That's plenty dry now, Al. You can go."

Alastor closed his lips around his teeth. Without taking his eyes off Tina, he dropped the soggy napkin onto Husk's plate. Husk groaned, but was too drunk to bother.

Instead of pouring Angel's drink next, Alastor pushed the spider out of his chair and sat down in his place. Right next to Tina.

"Husk," she whispered, "switch seats with me."

Husk turned to Tina and found Alastor's eyes on him, giving off a warning glow.

"Sorry, kid." Husk shrugged, picking up his bottle. "You're on your own with this one."

No one else dared to say anything else on the matter. Not even Angel. Though he did flip Alastor the bird as he circled round to an empty seat at the head of the table, next to Husk. Once Niffty was done setting things up, she sat on the other side of Charlie.

"Aren't you hungry, dear?" Alastor asked when he noticed Tina wasn't digging in.

It had been so long since she'd had her husband's cooking. The buttery smell of those tomatoes was just as tempting as she remembered. But eating them would be like admitting defeat. How could Tina stay mad at him if she tasted his delicious food?

The growl in her stomach insisted that she quit being stubborn. Tina sighed and picked up the fork and knife. She could feel Alastor smiling as she took a small bite of the tomato. She kept up her hardened scowl, even though her tastebuds were singing inside her mouth.

Damn it, Al! Why ya gotta play dirty?

Everyone ate in silence. The only sounds were the scraping of knives against the plates and the occasional sips of liquid. Tina felt like she was the main act of a carnival sideshow, as all eyes were on her. Well, more specifically, all eyes were on her and Alastor, whose eyes were on her.

The half-lidded gaze he was giving her out of the corner of his eye wasn't subtle in the least. He didn't blink once, nor did he take a moment to look at his tomatoes while cutting them. His eyes gave off a soft glow as he watched her.

Her dress was tighter than what she used to wear, but gave her an air of sophistication. She'd removed her hat for dinner, showing off that silky black hair curled up at its ends. Alastor liked the musical theme she was going for in her accessories. The amethyst brooch was new. He certainly hadn't gotten it for her.

Then he noticed two particular items missing from her left hand, and his heart sank.

Tina slammed down her knife and fork. Everyone jumped at the sudden noise.

"How many times do I have to tell ya, Al?" She finally faced him. "That fuckin' creeper stare of yours doesn't make me wanna come runnin' back into your arms, but rather claw your eyes out!"

"Oh, Tina." Alastor craned his head so that he could look at her fully. "How I've missed your morbid sense of humor."

She used a finger to turn his head back. "Eyes away."

"Forgive me, dear." He propped an elbow on the table and leaned onto his fist, looking at her again. "It's just been so long since I've had the privilege of gazing upon your lovely face."

"Bullshit." She pointed her knife at him. "Don't think I haven't noticed your little shadow buddies stalkin' me!"

"You know stalking isn't my style."

Tina turned back to her plate. "Except when it comes to me apparently."

"Is it wrong for a husband to ensure his wife's safety? It was included in our vows."

"Those vows haven't meant shit since ya had the gall to say, 'I love you!'"

Alastor put down his silverware. "I wasn't the one to initiate the kiss, darling."

"Yeah?" Tina placed a fist on her hip and leaned towards him. "Well, celebratin' our anniversary was your idea!"

Alastor leaned his arm onto the table. "Who sought me out one stormy night?"

She poked him in the chest. "You're makin' this sound more scandalous than it actually is!"

No one could discern what they were arguing about. The only one who was eating now was Angel Dust, who grinned giddily as he watched the bickering couple.

"This shit's almost better than porn."

Husk cocked an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I said almost."

"So!" Charlie piped. "How did you two meet?"

Vaggie pinched the bridge of her nose. Her girlfriend meant well, but she really needed to learn how to pick up on certain social cues.

"Now that's a funny story!" Alastor raised a finger. "You see, I—"

"Your dad forced him to have a drink with me," Tina said bluntly.

Alastor's finger curled downwards. "True, it wasn't initially my idea, but you managed to turn my head around, darling."

"Not completely, it would seem," Tina mumbled, picking up her silverware.

Charlie's cheeks were beginning to hurt from keeping up her smile. "O…kay."

Everyone went back to eating. Niffty had been uncharacteristically quiet the whole meal. Her eye was focused on her plate, her mouth twisted into an expression of discomfort. Angel's earlier enjoyment had faded away. At this point, he wasn't sure who scared him more. The Radio Demon or the Songbat.

Tina was sure Alastor had given up. Then something scraped against her right leg. She caught her fork in her mouth as the thing ran up and down her leg in a gentle caress. She blushed when she realized it was Alastor's foot.

A soft hum came from Alastor. It was the tune to Frank Sinatra's "Tina," the song she'd been named after. She regretted ever playing it for him.

The foot then stopped and rested on her ankle. The toe tilted to stroke her foot.

The table rattled as Tina sent a swift kick to Alastor's shin. He gave no cry, but stiffened in his seat, his eyes wide.

"Listen, Al," Tina said firmly, dropping her silverware. "I didn't come here just so ya could play footsie with me. I'm here for my employees, not for you."

Alastor opened his mouth.

"And don't think I don't know what you're tryin' to do here!" She stood and faced him. "Fried green tomatoes, the Sinatra song, those goddamn shoes!" She poked his chest with every item, sending him further backwards out of his seat. "What, did ya whip up peach cobbler for dessert?"

Alastor raised a finger. "As a matter of fact—"

"Wake up, Al!" Tina slammed her fist on the table. "It's gonna take a lot more than one little dinner to butter me up! Just cuz we're livin' under the same roof again, does not mean I've come home to ya!"

Alastor didn't respond. He sat frozen in his seat, staring at the furious bat before him.

He'd always admired her boldness. But her words hurt him more than that kick in the shin.

A moan from Niffty reminded Tina that she and Alastor had an audience. Her cheeks reddened as she turned back to the others. They were all staring at her except Niffty, who had her big head cradled in her tiny hands.

"Sorry." Tina took a breath and stepped back from the table. "May I be excused? I've lost my appetite."

"O-Of course!" Charlie squeaked as she rose to her feet. "W-Why don't I show you to your room? Oh, but we haven't cleaned it yet. Niffty?"

"Yes!"

Niffty pushed her chair out and skittered out of the room. Like Charlie, she would take any excuse to get out of this awkward situation.

As the Princess led Tina out, she turned back with a smile. "That was delicious as always, Al! Save me some of that peach cobbler, will you?"

Alastor glanced at his wife, who wouldn't meet his gaze. "Thank you, Charlie. You're too kind."

He made an effort to be polite. Even if it hadn't been the Princess's compliment he'd been waiting for.

Once the ladies were gone, another uncomfortable silence filled the room. Alastor stared down at his unfinished plate. Then he sighed and set down his silverware.

"Uh, you okay, Smiles?" Angel asked, even though it was the stupidest question he could ask in this moment. "I've never seen ya not hungry before."

Alastor's teeth glowed as he gritted them. "Peachy. Speaking of which." He stood and gathered his dishes. "I'll go fetch the cobbler. Someone might as well eat it."

The Radio Demon usually only expressed one emotion. Although his smile was still ever present, it was twisted into half a curve. There was disappointment in his voice, so much so that his fake enthusiasm failed to come across. The only one at the table who had ever seen Alastor like this was Husk, and he knew better than to address it.

Vaggie didn't. "Maybe you should just leave her alone."

Alastor stopped in his tracks, his ears twisting in her direction as they picked up on her comment.

"Shut up, Vaggs," Husk hissed through his teeth.

"No. Someone has to say it." Vaggie stood to confront the Radio Demon. "She doesn't wanna be with you. Why can't you see that? I don't know what messed up deal you've got her tangled up in, or what sort of Hell you put her through to make her hate you so much, but as long as Tina's at this hotel, I'm not gonna let you manipulate or hurt her in any—"

Alastor's plate hit the floor with a crash! Vaggie immediately shut her mouth as high-pitched white noise crackled in her ears. The Radio Demon slowly turned his head, his eyes replaced with radio dials. Those foreboding, red Vodou symbols popped up around him.

His lips didn't move when he spoke. Every syllable was emphasized with a flash of his yellow teeth.

"You think I'd ever hurt her?"

Vaggie froze. Husk facepalmed. Angel ducked beneath the table with a muttered, "Nope."

"You know, Vagatha." Alastor tilted his head, his voice becoming more distorted by the second. "Despite what I am, despite what you might presume of me, I do love my wife."

Vaggie narrowed her eye. "Yeah, right. You love controlling her, I'm sure. I wouldn't expect anything less from an asshole like you."

Alastor slammed his hands onto the table and leaned towards Vaggie, his antlers and claws growing. "I love my Tina in a way neither of you will ever understand."

Vaggie stepped back. Feeling that his point had been made, Alastor recoiled and slowly returned to normal.

"Now, if you'll excuse me."

He snapped his fingers. The broken shards of his plate reassembled into his hands, along with the bits of spilt food. Then he held his head high as he walked calmly into the kitchen.

Once the doors had swished closed, Angel peered his head over the table and breathed a sigh of relief. He climbed back into his seat and looked over at Husk.

"So," Angel said, his top thumbs pointing in the opposite directions Alastor and Tina had gone. "What's their problem?"

"Believe me." Husk took a sip of his booze. "It's best not to get involved."

"I agree." Vaggie sat back down. "But if we had a clearer picture of their situation, we might know how to better handle moments like…" She extended her arm towards the kitchen doors. "This."

Husk sighed. "Fine. But I'm only telling you so you know why you shouldn't get involved."

Angel and Vaggie leaned forward, ready to listen.

"Al and Tina's marriage is," Husk said, circling his bottle in his claw, "unconventional."

Vaggie tilted her head. "Unconventional how?"

"Like they into some weird kinky shit?" Angel bounced excitedly in his seat. "Like stickin' knives up their asses?"

Husk gagged. "The hell's wrong with you?"

The spider held up his four sets of fingers. "Ya want the short list or the long?"

"I just mean they didn't marry for love."

Vaggie's eye widened. "So, what? He forced her or something?"

Husk shook his head. "Al hasn't forced Tina into anything. She knew what she was getting into when she made that deal."

"So they did make a deal." Vaggie clenched her hands into fists. "I knew it. She sold her soul to him, didn't she?"

"Not that kind of deal." Husk slumped forward, resting his chin on his arm. "Al was sick of people asking questions 'bout his sexuality." Angel opened his mouth to ask. "Or rather, lack thereof."

Angel snapped his fingers. "Knew there was something weird about him. Cherri owes me ten bucks."

Husk gestured to the spider. "See what I mean? So, Al found Tina mixed up into some trouble one night, offered her protection if she married him."

Angel whistled. "I knew Smiles was old-fashioned, but this is some real medieval shit right here."

"Wait." Vaggie put a hand to her temple. "So if they never were in love in the first place, what was all that about?"

"Oh, they're crazy about each other," Husk said bluntly.

Angel and Vaggie shared a look of confusion.

"They lived together so long, they couldn't help but fall in love. In fact," Husk said, tipping his bottle towards him, "that's when all their problems started."

"I ain't followin'," Angel said.

"They were pretty much fine when they were just friends. Now that they're stupid enough to love each other," the cat said, glancing at the two seats the couple had previously occupied, "they're able to hurt each other a lot more."

Sheesh, I think Angel's gonna be the hardest to write. It ain't easy for an asexual to write sex jokes. And man, why does he have to have so many arms to keep track of?