Just saw that Vivziepop hasn't 100% confirmed that Alastor is aromantic as well as asexual, but rather has left his romantic orientation ambiguous. That said, keep in mind that I interpret him as romantic in this fic, but still asexual.

Once Alastor was alone in the kitchen, his smile dropped. He put the plate down on the small wooden table and plopped into a chair. He set his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands.

He needed a moment to get his emotions in check. He couldn't let the others see him like this.

What a day this had been. He'd woken up this morning utterly miserable, on the twentieth anniversary of his marriage to Tina. But then his shadow minion had informed him of Tina's impending arrival, and it was like a fire had been ignited in him.

Alastor had told the Princess that he was investing in this hotel to cure his boredom. That was half the truth. The last time he'd had any real entertainment had been before Tina had moved out. Other than the occasional massacres, his wife had been the only thing to bring him any true joy in this hellhole.

Despite her demanding he stay out of her life, Alastor had kept tabs on her these last ten years. He'd watched her reinvent herself from afar. He'd thought her silly for trying to get demons to better themselves, even if only slightly. But she'd always found ways to surprise him.

When her business was destroyed, Alastor had seen this as the perfect opportunity to swoop in and be her knight in shining armor again. But she still hadn't summoned him. She was still hung up over what had happened ten years ago.

Then he'd seen the advertisement for the Happy Hotel, and come up with the perfect plan. He had known Tina would hear about the Princess's plan eventually. He wouldn't have to chase after her. She would come right to him without her even knowing it.

And that was exactly what she did. Alastor recalled how his heart had stirred at the sight of her. After all this time, she was still the loveliest creature ever to walk this plane of damnation. If only she were as happy to see him as he was to see her.

He'd tried everything he could think of to make her smile for him again. The shoes were a symbol of the ones she'd broken the night he'd rescued her from ruffians. The fried green tomatoes were the first thing she'd ever cooked for him. Alastor looked at the untouched peach cobbler on the kitchen counter, her favorite dessert.

How could she still be angry at him? It had been ten years. In all that time, Alastor couldn't figure out what he had done to deserve this punishment from her. He'd tried his best to be a good husband to her, even before feelings had developed between them.

Alastor had made friends before, but none had become such a big part of his life, or afterlife, as Tina. Meeting her had been a happy accident.

His gaze fell upon the spice rack and he smiled to himself. It reminded him of something that had occurred during their first week of marriage. He'd been going into the kitchen to prepare lunch, only to find Tina at the stove. She'd called him out for not labeling any of the spices, and he'd deemed it unnecessary as he'd be doing all the cooking.

This had led to them arguing on whether or not Tina should be allowed to cook for herself, especially while Alastor was preoccupied with his special meals. She had even threatened to put in a microwave for TV dinners. As if Alastor was going to let anything television-related into his home!

That had been his first lesson in marriage. Sharing a space with someone meant accommodating to someone else's needs. And that meant compromise was essential.

So, that evening, he had called her into the kitchen to show off their newly labeled spice rack. They had then proceeded to cook dinner together.

Alastor's chest swelled at the memory. Why couldn't he and Tina have pleasant little moments like that anymore? When it was just the two of them, working together to make their time in Hell more tolerable?

Realizing the others would be inquiring about him soon, Alastor pasted on his smile and stood to get the peach cobbler. He wouldn't eat it, of course. But the smell reminded him of Tina, and all those other meals they had created together.

It truly was torture for the one woman he'd grown to love to look upon him with such hatred. Well, Hell was the place for torture. It was bound to catch up with him at some point.

"Just give me a few more minutes!" Niffty spread her duster around Tina's room. "I'll have this place spotless in a jiffy!"

Charlie had offered Tina one of their most spacious suites, since she was going to be a partner at the hotel, even if only temporarily. It not only contained a bed and bathroom, but a sitting area and a fireplace. But while it was big, it was covered in dust and cobwebs.

The suite went with the theme of the hotel, decorated in shades of red. It reminded Tina of Alastor's place, except for the apple pattern in the wallpaper.

"Hey, is Niffty the only maid here?" Tina asked.

"At the moment," Charlie said, rubbing the back of her neck, "yes."

Tina watched the little cyclops as she dusted to and fro at the speed of lightning. "I know she's fast, but…ya sure you'll have a hundred and fifty rooms prepared by tomorrow? I mean some of 'em might be willin' to bunk with each other, but if ya need any help—"

"Oh nonsense, Mrs. Tina!" Niffty called from the bathroom. "I quite like cleaning, remember?"

"Still, I got some cleaners lookin' for work."

"We can sort everyone's positions out when you bring your employees by tomorrow," Charlie said. "Of course, with a hundred and fifty demons to interview, it might be a few days before we can put anyone to work."

"That's fine," Tina said. "Again, sorry for bringin' this on y'all on such short notice, but if I wasn't in such a tight spot—"

"It's no problem!" Charlie waved her hand. "Helping demons in need is what we're here for!"

Tina gave a small smile. "Ya know? I wondered how ya could possibly be related to Lucifer, but I see it now."

Charlie frowned. "Oh?"

"I mean nothin' bad by it. I just see where ya get your courtesy and enthusiasm from."

Charlie tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Thanks."

The Princess had been compared to her father all her life. But this was the first time such a comparison was put in a positive light. Charlie had a good feeling about the Songbat. She seemed like a nice person who liked to see the good in others.

At least, that's what it seemed like when she wasn't around Alastor.

"So, uh," Charlie said, tapping her fingers together, "about you and Al—?"

Tina groaned. "He's not on this floor, is he?"

"No. He's up in the penthouse."

Tina rolled her eyes. "Course, he is. That materialistic prick always insisted on havin' more space than he needed for himself."

Charlie bit her lip. "I know it's not any of my business, but…what happened between you two?" She held up her hands. "I'm only asking because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable here! If Al bothers you in any way, don't be afraid to talk to me or Vaggie!"

The light seemed to go from Tina's eyes as she stared off into space. "We got married, fell in love, didn't work out." She closed a hand around her brooch. "Technically, we are still married, but I moved out ten years ago. Al hasn't gotten over it."

"I see." Charlie put her hands behind her back and rocked back and forth on her feet. "So, uh, what was it you found so interesting about Al? You know, before."

Tina folded her arms. "Ours was a marriage of convenience. At first, anyway. Then we made the mistake of fallin' in love."

Charlie blinked. "I don't understand."

The Songbat sighed. "Ya have any exes who just won't leave ya alone?"

Charlie cringed, thinking of Seviathan. "Yeah."

"Then ya know that some people change, and some don't. Al falls in the latter category."

"I…suppose you're right about that." Charlie perked up. "But Al was trying so hard to be nice to you at dinner. Don't you think you should at least give him a chance?"

"Look," Tina said firmly. "You're a sweet gal and all, Your Highness, but I've already had one member of your family butt into my personal life, and that didn't work out for me. So, please, with all due respect, can we just have our conversations be 'bout work and not my issues with Al?"

"Oh but Mrs. Tina," Niffty said as she changed the sheets on the bed, "Al has missed you so much! He won't admit it but he didn't come out of his house for almost two months after you left! If it weren't for me the place would've become a pigsty!"

Tina sent her a sympathetic smile. "Niffty, I know you were always rootin' for me and Al to get together, but—"

"I know, I know! You both needed your space!" Niffty zipped over to Tina and took her hands. "But it's been ten years so you've both had plenty of space and now that you'll be working together you can get to know each other again and fall in love and live happily ever after and maybe finally have that family you always wanted!"

Tina's face fell, her eyes glazing over as they looked down at the small, bouncing cyclops. She had died in her twenties, but she was so much like a child sometimes.

"I'm tired." Tina let go of Niffty's hands. "So, if it's alright with y'all, I'll just turn in for the night."

"Um, okay." Charlie wanted to ask more about Alastor, but had a feeling Tina wasn't ready to talk. "My room's just at the end of the hall. So, call me if you need anything."

"And my room's three doors down!" Niffty said, raising her hand. "So if you ever wanna have some girl talk like we used to you know where to find me!"

Tina ruffled Niffty's hair. "I might take ya up on that offer."

The perky ladies waved as they closed the door, leaving Tina alone in her new room. She sighed as she looked at the king-sized canopy bed.

This was a familiar scene. Once again, out of necessity, she was living under the same roof as Alastor. A big change from the dump that was her previous residence.

Not too different from their wedding night.

Twenty Years Ago

Once the wedding reception was over, Alastor scooped up Tina into his arms and began carrying her bridal-style to his mansion. Or rather, their mansion, now.

"This really necessary?" she whispered, glancing back at the few remaining guests watching them.

"Of course!" Alastor exclaimed. "It's tradition for the groom to carry the bride over the threshold!"

He was still wired from all the dancing and champagne, humming "Get Me to the Church On Time" as he kicked open the front door. He sent the onlooking guests a wink as he expertly kicked it closed behind him.

"Alright, we're inside," Tina said. "Now put me down."

But Alastor took them further into the house. "Not until we reach the marriage bed!"

"What?!" She pushed against his chest. "I thought we weren't gonna—"

"We're married now, dear." He gave her a mischievous, sideways glance. "You can't blame me for wanting to have some fun tonight with my new wife."

Tina tensed. Had he played her for a fool? Had he been lying when he'd offered her that deal?

"Oh, lighten up, sweetheart. I'm only jesting. Even if I was interested in partaking in such meaningless, carnal indulgence, I would never force myself upon you." He chuckled. "Though that terrified look on your face was amusing."

She scowled. "Why'd I have to marry an asshole like you?"

He tsked as they entered a hallway. "It appears my bride lacks proper manners." One of the many bedroom doors opened by magic. "And after all the trouble I went through to prepare this room for her."

Tina's annoyance melted away when she took in the lavish scene. Everything, from the furniture, to the curtains, to the carpet, was in elegant shades of purple. It contrasted with the rest of the house, but it was her favorite color.

"I hope you like it!" Alastor set her down so he could show her around. "I collaborated with Niffty and Rosie to ensure that you have every luxury a lady requires!"

Tina ran her hand over a vanity, stocked with brushes, combs, sprays and perfumes. The mirror was perfectly polished, not a single crack. In all her gigs, she'd never had a dressing table this fancy.

"I've gathered all your clothes in here!" With a wave of his claw, Alastor opened up a wardrobe. "And had Rosie make a few additions!"

Tina gawked at the assortment of gorgeous new gowns in various styles from Victorian to modern.

"Oh, and here!" Alastor opened up a cedar chest, displaying a treasure trove of jewelry and accessories. "In case you want to give your appearance a bit more razzle dazzle!"

Tina put a hand to her head as she sat down on the king-sized canopy bed. The mattress was so soft, it almost swallowed her up.

"This is…a bit much, don't ya think?"

Alastor turned to her as he closed the chest. "You're my wife now. What would people say if I didn't spoil you silly?"

She smirked. "Guess it pays to have a rich Voodoo man for a husband."

"Ah, so you are a gold-digger, after all!"

"Hey," Tina said. "If this whole thing's not gonna be anything more than platonic, at least let me enjoy whatever perks I can get. I've been livin' in a rundown flat in the darkest part of town for three years."

Alastor approached her. "Didn't take you to be afraid of the dark, little bat."

"Not really." Tina pointed to her ears. "My echolocation helps me see, or rather hear what's goin' on around me, even in the dark."

"Useful skill."

"Well, it only works if I'm speakin' or hummin' or someone makes a—"

She stopped suddenly, her ears twitching at the pitter-patter of tiny feet.

Alastor tilted his head. "Something the ma—?"

Tina put a finger to her lips and jerked her thumb towards the door. Alastor stood alert as he snapped his fingers, sending his shadow to seek out the intruder. The shadow returned a few seconds later and whispered in his ear.

"Seems Niffty hasn't gone home yet," Alastor said in a low voice.

"What's she doin'?" Tina whispered.

He sighed. "Peeping, it would seem. I'll handle this."

"Wait."

Tina hummed quietly so she could listen for Niffty's movements. She was standing right outside the door, her large eye at the keyhole.

Niffty was a romantic, and since Alastor had never brought a girl home before, she was likely curious about how their consummation would go.

Tina smirked deviously at Alastor. "We could have ourselves some fun first."

She stifled a giggle as she hopped off the bed and walked inconspicuously towards the door.

"So, Al," Tina said, raising her voice, "ya ever been tied up before?"

There was an audible record scratch. "I…beg your pardon?"

"Oh, so this is all new to ya, right?" Tina spoke sultrily as she pulled the skirt of her wedding gown above her knees. "Okay then, darlin', we'll start off slow."

Alastor's face flushed as she pulled down her tights. "W-What are you doing?"

"Removin' my panties, of course." Tina reached under her skirt. "Lend me a hand, hubby?"

Alastor spun around and shielded his eyes with his hand. "I-I thought we agreed…that is, I didn't think you would even… Is this revenge for what I—?"

"Aw, there's no need to be shy, Al!" Once her panties were hanging off her finger, she dropped her skirt. "Isn't this what is expected on our wedding night?"

Something was off about her voice. It was unnecessarily loud, even though Alastor was just a few feet away from her. He turned slightly to question her, in time to see her hang her pink panties on the doorknob, just covering the keyhole. He quirked an eyebrow.

Just what was she up to?

"Jesus fuck, Al!" Tina shouted suddenly, shaking her skirt noisily. "You're just so eager to get this dress off, ain't ya? Now that we're all alone!"

She beckoned her arm towards Alastor. But he only stared obliviously.

Tina rolled her eyes and jumped backwards onto the bed. "Oh, Al!" She dramatically put a hand to her head. "Quit teasin' me! Don't make me wait another second!"

When Alastor didn't respond, she jerked her head towards the door and said through her teeth, "Take me now."

He blinked. Then glanced at the door. Then at her dramatic pose.

His static crackled back to life.

"Oh!" Alastor cupped a hand over his mouth as he approached the bed. "So sorry to make you wait, my dear, but you know how inexperienced I am in these matters!"

He sent her a look, hoping she'd get the message that he knew what she was trying to do. But even with all his acting skills, he didn't know how this scenario was supposed to play out.

Tina nodded and patted the spot beside her. "Don't worry, Al. I'll show ya what to do."

Alastor sat an arm's length from her. He watched her for his cue.

"Just do this." She bounced slowly, causing the bedsprings to squeak.

"This?" He bounced along with her.

"Yeah, and now…" She began panting heavily.

The suggestive sound made him uncomfortable. Nonetheless, Alastor attempted to match her pants.

"Oh, God!" Tina shouted between breaths. "Oh, fuck, that thing is huge!"

She put too much faith in him.

"Um…err…" He bounced faster as he tried to think of what a man would say in this situation. "You're mine now, dear! And no one else's!"

"Good," Tina whispered before shouting again. "Good! Keep doin' what you're doin', it's oh, so good!"

Outside, Niffty pressed her ear to the door, as her view of the keyhole was blocked by Tina's underwear. She heard the bed squeaking, the shuffling of sheets and clothing, Alastor and Tina moaning. Niffty knew it was rude to eavesdrop on an intimate moment like this, but she wanted to make sure Alastor's marriage started off without a hitch. Besides, she needed material for her romance fanfiction.

Suddenly, the door was thrown open and Niffty tumbled forward. When she looked up, Tina stood there with a lilac bedsheet wrapped around her.

"Excuse me," Tina said, placing a hand on her hip. "Can we get a little privacy, please?"

Niffty blushed heavily. "So sorry, Miss—I mean Mrs. Tina! I'll, uh, just, uh…"

She skittered out of the room and shut the door. Tina turned back to Alastor, who sat fully clothed on the bed. They burst out laughing.

"Good gracious!" Alastor said. "I think we may have traumatized her!"

"Serves the little bug right for eavesdroppin'," Tina said.

While Alastor had been making the bed noises, Tina had taken the time to remove her dress and throw on the bedsheet for the grand finale of their act. Alastor had averted his eyes through the whole ordeal, of course. Niffty, with that big mouth of hers, was likely to gossip about what she'd seen. Then there would be very little doubt as to the legitimacy of their marriage.

"Now that." Alastor wiped away a tear. "That was fun! Ho-ho! To think she actually thought you and I would consummate!"

Tina's laughter died down as she looked down at herself. Blushing, she pulled the sheet up to further cover her cleavage.

"Yeah, well, fun's over." Tina gave her new partner in crime a stern look. "It's been a long day, so please leave."

Alastor stood, a gleam of mischief in his eyes as he leaned towards her. "Oh, but what if she were to come back, hmm? Won't she find it strange if I'm suddenly absent?"

She knew he was only teasing, but two could play at that game.

"In that case," she smirked and took a bold step towards him, "the only way we could be more convincin' is if we did the next round for real."

A string of rapid Morse code signals went off as Alastor straightened up. "Message received! Goodnight!"

He then melted into the shadows, leaving his bride alone and untouched on their wedding night. Just as he had promised.

Tina couldn't help but smile as she thought back on that night. Every other man she'd known hadn't hesitated to jump into bed with her. Not always with her permission. But not Alastor. And yet, she'd had more fun pretending to sleep with him than she'd had actually sleeping with all those other men.

It was like she'd been part of one big comedy routine, with a single partner in on the joke. She'd never felt that sort of comradery with anyone else before.

Things had been so much simpler back then.

Tina hadn't brought any nightwear, as she hadn't planned on staying the night. Not to mention most of her wardrobe had been destroyed in the explosion. Niffty had lain a fluffy red bathrobe on her new bed, with the hotel's initials sewn into the front. Tina took the robe with her into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

She was just coming out, tying the robe around her waist, when she heard a knock at the door. Not just any knock, but that "Shave and a Haircut" riff she knew all too well.

"Go away, Al!" Tina shouted, bringing her dirty clothes out of the bathroom. "I'm not in the mood to deal with ya right now!"

"I only wish to talk, my little magnolia!" Alastor called from outside.

"Don't care!" She pulled a drawer from the dresser and dropped her clothes in. "Ya ain't comin' in!"

There was a pause. "That's perfectly alright, dear! I can talk right out here! In the hall. Where everyone else can hear our business."

Tina groaned as she slammed the drawer shut. That bastard always had an annoying way of turning her own words against her.

She smoothed out her hair, still damp from the shower, as she went to open up the door. Alastor stood there with his hands behind his back. His cheeks flushed when he realized the indecent state Tina was in.

The robe didn't have a hole for her wings, so she'd had to crumple them inside. As a result, the robe didn't quite close all the way, leaving her front quite exposed.

But Tina didn't seem to care as she crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. "I know what you're gonna say. Ya want me back, we must honor our vows, it just isn't the same without—"

Alastor threw his arms around her, muffling her cries of protest, and pushing her into the room. He pulled her into a tight embrace as he kicked the door closed, just as he had done many times before.

He knew it was undignified, attacking her like this while she wore nothing but a loose-fitting robe. But he just wanted to be able to hold her again, even if for but a moment.

He pressed his nose to the top of her head and inhaled deeply. The shower hadn't completely washed away her intoxicating scent. She still used lavender mousse and peach blossom perfume. Alastor wasn't fond of many sweet things, but he did so love these smells on her.

Her body felt the same as always. Small, but a perfect fit for his arms, her head the right height to rest his chin on. He kept his hand below her wings, knowing how sensitive they were, the other threading through her hair. It was wet and flat against her head, but it was hers.

Tina should've pushed him away. She was still mad at him, and he'd had the gall to embrace her without asking. In a bathrobe, no less!

But as his arms tightened around her, she was reminded of how much care he took whenever he held her. Firmly, to shield her from danger, but gently, so as not to harm her. Like a prized doll he refused to break.

The action was a bit possessive, but it also made her feel…safe.

Tina closed her eyes as Alastor pressed her face to his chest. The scent of brimstone and shaving cream entered her nostrils, reawakening emotions she thought had died long ago. Forgetting her anger for a moment, she snaked her arms around his thin waist.

Alastor's lips fell over his teeth, softening into a content smile. She could put on these airs of disgust all she liked, but her body said otherwise. She'd missed him just as much as he'd missed her.

He was never letting her go again.

"Mon amour," Alastor whispered in her ear. "Will you lie with me tonight?"

Tina's eyes shot open. "What?"

Her mind went to the king-sized bed just a few feet away. She pictured him scooping her up and carrying her over there, just as he had done on their wedding night.

Only this time, he wouldn't be leaving.

"My bed has been so cold without you in it." He kissed the top of her head. "Let us keep each other warm in the darkness, like we used to."

So that's it. Tina's heart sank. Nothing different.

"Al." She pushed against his chest and looked up at him, but his arms would not leave her. "Even if I still had…feelings for ya, things can't just go back to how they were before."

The corners of Alastor's mouth dropped an inch. "I don't see why not."

Tina sighed and stepped back. Alastor's smile disappeared completely as she slid out of his grasp. He never let anyone see him frown, as it showed weakness. But Tina was the exception to many of his rules.

He just couldn't pretend with her.

His frown sent a pang of guilt through her. But Tina had to lay down the law.

"How can I get you to understand?" she said with a sigh. "I'm not the same girl who made that deal with ya. Nor am I the same girl that…fell for ya. I've changed. And you…"

She gestured to him. "Well, you haven't changed a bit, it would seem."

"But I have, my love." The static in Alastor's voice faltered as he took her hands in his. "I understand I wasn't always…attentive to your needs, while we lived together, and I intend to correct that."

Her eyes widened in hope. "Do ya?"

"Of course." His toothy smile returned. "Now that you're here, I will pay you much more attention! It'll be like our second honeymoon at this hotel!"

"Right." Her shoulders slumped as she glanced at the bed. "Cuz our first honeymoon was so conventional."

"I thought it enjoyable." Alastor brought her hands to his chest, so she could feel the rapid fluttering within. "This cold, dead heart beats for only you, mon épouse. That much hasn't changed."

She didn't admit that her heart was beating at the exact same rate. "Al, it's gonna take more than a few pretty words to make me wanna come back to ya."

"I know." He spoke softly as he brushed his claw against her cheek. "That is why I suggest we sleep in the same bed for just one night, for old times' sake. If you still hate me in the morning, feel free to kick me out. If not… Well."

He leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers. "We'll decide what to do then."

Tina had forgotten how much of a sweet-talker he could be. His voice sent chills up her spine, his touch tingled warmly on her skin. The promise of laying in bed with him was too much for her fragile heart to take. Not to mention the space between her legs.

Then her brain fully processed what he was asking.

"We'll…just be sleepin'?"

Alastor nodded. "I won't touch you, if that is your wish."

Disappointment doused the flames of her budding desire.

"Ten years," she said sourly, "and ya still don't get it."

A chill overcame Alastor at the loss of her warmth. He watched as she drifted away, his smile gone once again.

"Get out."

He reached out to her.

"Go." She held up a hand in warning. "Or I'll call the Princess."

His ears drooped, and his eyes held a sad look. Tina kept a neutral expression, even though on the inside, her heart was breaking along with his.

Nevertheless, Alastor straightened up and placed his hands behind his back. "My apologies, dear, for wasting your time."

She winced at his bitter tone.

"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. Should you need anything, my door is always open." He put a fist to his chest and bowed. "I bid you goodnight."

He then turned on his heel and headed for the door.

Tina knew she was being unfair. He was really trying so hard to get back in her good graces. But did he really expect the two of them to pick off where they'd left off after ten years of being apart?

Still, she didn't have to be so harsh about it.

"Wait."

Alastor stopped and turned his head, his smile back and glowing. Had she changed her mind?

"I, uh…" Tina rubbed the back of her neck. "Didn't bring anything to change into, so, uh…do ya think ya could…?"

He sighed in disappointment. Even so, he snapped his fingers and a white silk nightgown appeared on the bed.

"Will that be all?" he asked in a clipped voice.

Tina nodded wordlessly. Alastor returned her nod and grabbed the doorknob. He glanced at her once more, before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Tina put a hand to her forehead and slumped backwards onto the bed in exhaustion. He'd looked so broken. She wished she didn't have to be so cruel to him, but he just didn't get it.

He knew what it was she wanted, so why wouldn't he do it?

She sat up and examined the nightgown he'd summoned for her. It was just like the one she used to wear, with a low but modest neckline, a tie for the neck and an open back for her wings.

The one he'd said he liked best on her.

"Oh, Al," she muttered, running her hand along the smooth fabric. "You ain't givin' up, are ya?"

This was going to be a long thirty days.

That fake sex scene was inspired by the movie Easy A.

Yeah, this got a lot more emotional than the first two chapters.