Song used in this chapter: "The Lady Loves Me" by Elvis Presley and Ann-Margret (seriously, the moment I heard this, I knew this was perfect for Al and Tina).

No matter where Alastor went, he often found himself surrounded by women. It couldn't be helped, he supposed. His mother had always said he was a handsome lad, and his demon form was no different.

So naturally, out of the hundred and fifty demonesses bustling about the ballroom, a handful of them were bound to accost him at some point.

"Miss Twinkle told us so much about you, Mr. Alastor, but she didn't say you were so handsome!"

"Is it true you and Miss Twinkle haven't spoken to each other in ten years?"

"Does this mean you're technically single?"

Alastor didn't take note of their faces, as he only had eyes for one demoness in this throng. Tina was over by the stage, looking over a clipboard with Carrie Canary. She didn't seem to acknowledge the pack of ladies with no shame to flirt with their employer's husband right in front of her.

The whole point of Alastor and Tina's marriage was to discourage romantic pursuits on both sides. They used to scare off each other's would-be suitors. But now, Tina didn't even bat an eye. No trace of jealousy or concern whatsoever.

And it didn't escape Alastor's notice how all the ladies here addressed Tina as Miss Twinkle and not Mrs.

"Separation can be difficult," Dr. Cougarton said. "A lot of stress and anxiety. But, if you'd like, I can assist you in…releasing all of that tension."

The horny lioness made the mistake of touching Alastor's shoulder. He grabbed her wrist and squeezed it out of reflex. Dr. Cougarton's hot flash turned into a wave of terror as his glowing red eyes focused on her.

"Please, madam," Alastor said through his teeth. "Refrain from touching things that don't belong to you."

As soon as he let go of her wrist, Dr. Cougarton made a beeline for the buffet table.

This incident, Tina did see. She looked back at Carrie Canary before Alastor could notice.

"I've d-drawn up the r-room assignments," Carrie said, pointing to her clipboard. "I a-asked the P-Princess for a l-layout of the h-hotel and h-had everyone f-fill out a s-survey of whether they wanted a s-single, d-double, w-wouldn't mind sharing and—"

"It's perfect," Tina said before her DR manager could hurt herself from stuttering. "Did ya make sure to put the Dicto twins in separate rooms?"

Carrie nodded. "S-Separate w-wings."

Tina patted her on the back. "What would I do without you, Carrie?"

Carrie touched the black choker around her neck. "I'm s-sure you w-would g-get along f-fine."

"Not true. And while we're on the subject, make sure your own room is to your likin'. Ya deserve it."

Carrie flipped a page. "O-On the f-first floor. Not too h-high."

Tina was aware of Carrie's fear of heights. "Go find Proxy and some of the other cleanin' staff who were already interviewed. Have 'em help out Niffty so we can get everyone here in bed before nightfall."

Carrie saluted and went off. Tina leaned against the wall with her arms crossed and surveyed the ballroom. Alastor was mingling with a new swarm of ladies. They were giggling and swooning at whatever lame jokes he was telling. Tina simply rolled her eyes.

Despite all the warnings about the Radio Demon's sadistic tendencies and horrendous diet, Tina's faint-hearted employees were no match for Alastor's good looks and gentlemanlike charm. Back at The Reckoning, she'd given Hildegard and the rest of security explicit instructions not to let him onto the premises under any circumstances. But now, there was no escaping interacting with him.

Tina couldn't really blame the girls for being attracted. He was a walking chick magnet. But she knew that although the ladies were compelled, Alastor would make no attempts to connect. Sure, he'd talk to them politely, but never entertain their airheaded delusions.

She'd always liked that about him.

Angel's voice took Tina out of her thoughts. "There seriously no guys around here?!"

Tina smirked. "I have a few, but they're all either teenagers, or not into men."

Angel crossed his arms. "What's the deal? Ya sexist or something?"

"Oh no." She shrugged. "It just so happens not a lotta men are interested in workin' in a nightclub like mine. Except for a chance to, ya know, get to know the ladies. But they ain't willin' to cooperate with three strikes' policy. I'm very selective in the demons I hire."

Angel dropped his arms to his sides. "This is Hell! At least at the studio, I got laid!"

Tina shook her head as the spider went off to sulk somewhere. She glanced back at where she'd last seen Alastor, but found him absent. The ladies he'd been chatting with were looking her way, pouting.

"Bonjour, chérie."

The Songbat snapped her head to her right and found Alastor standing there with his hands behind his back. At a respectful distance of two feet.

Tina tilted her head towards the group of ladies he'd abandoned. "See ya've picked up some fans."

"What can I say?" Alastor shrugged. "I'm impossibly charismatic."

She glanced off to the side. "Ya needn't waste your time. Ya can have your pick of any gal here."

"Except the gal I picked was you," he said softly.

Tina scoffed. "Ain't that a laugh?"

Alastor looked at his little fan club. They were still waving and blowing kisses at him. Then he turned back to the one woman he wished would show him the least bit of attention.

"If I may speak," Alastor said, clearing his throat, "professionally, for a moment, Tina. I am quite impressed with how well you delivered on your promises. I've been here for three weeks, yet you've managed to fill up our rooms in less than two days. You've become quite the entrepreneur, my dear."

Tina blushed. "Thanks." She looked up at the ceiling. "So, uh, the Princess tells me this ballroom was your idea?"

"The room was already here," Alastor said, gesturing to their surroundings. "I simply refurbished it. Every hotel needs a space for grand social events, don't you think?"

Tina nodded toward the chandeliers. "Ya did a pretty good job."

"How now?" He put a hand to his ear. "Was that a compliment I just heard?"

"I'm just tryin' not to make a scene in front of my employees, okay?" She then added in a mutter, "I can be professional too."

A scream alerted them both. Alastor and Tina looked in time to see a demoness with a pixie cut and baggy clothing slap Angel Dust across the face.

He held up all four hands. "I thought you were a guy, I swear!"

That earned him another slap. Alastor and Tina chuckled. His ears perked up upon hearing her adorable little laugh that sounded like a squeaky toy. Finally, he had managed to get it out of her. If only it had been due to one of his jokes. But taking pleasure in someone else's misfortune was good enough.

Tina had always been a pleasant companion at social events. Even the dullest of parties were made more entertaining with her at his side. Alastor remembered their first party together, not long after their honeymoon.

"Smile, my dear!" Alastor tipped his new wife's chin upwards. "This is our big debut as a married couple! We're supposed to be in newlywed bliss!"

"Okay, okay." Tina waved off his hand. "Sorry, I'm just a bit nervous, is all. I've never been to royal ball before."

"Don't you worry, dear." He booped her nose. "Just be your usual charming self! And if you can't figure out what to say, simply put on that pretty smile of yours and let me do the talking!"

She rolled her eyes. "How is this Stolas a prince, anyway? I thought Lucifer only had a daughter."

"Well, my dear, you see—"

He was interrupted by the herald at the top of the palace's ballroom staircase. "Alastor the Radio Demon, and his wife, Tina Twinkle!"

Alastor and Tina immediately took on their husband-and-wife façade and smiled and waved at the crowd. Tina played it up by interlacing her hands around Alastor's arm and laying her head on his shoulder.

The evening went by in a blur. Tina was introduced to a number of important demons whose names she could scarcely remember. She felt like a fish out of water with all these demons dressed in such rich finery. Even though Alastor had done her hair up and fitted her into an elegant red ballgown, complete with a ruby necklace, Tina was nothing like these wealthy socialites.

She'd grown up in one of the poorer communities of Birmingham, Alabama. Where integration was not something the white people in charge were willing to welcome. Even when she'd moved to New York, her social circle hadn't been glamorous. She'd met a few television personalities and fellow comedians, but her background had always been obvious to everyone with her heavy accent and, of course, the color of her skin. Although race mattered less in Hell, power and connection did. And at this point, all Tina had going for her was being the wife of the Radio Demon.

Tina wondered how Alastor could talk so easily with this elite group of demons. After all, he'd grown up in New Orleans at the turn of the century. As a boy of mixed race, nonetheless. How did someone who, by society's standards back then, didn't fit in anywhere, blend in so perfectly with this crowd?

After an hour of hanging on her husband's arm, Tina started to feel dizzy. She excused herself to "powder her nose," and then proceeded to lock herself in the bathroom for several minutes. These people were so rich, even the toilet was solid gold.

Once she'd regained her breath, Tina went over to the sink to splash some water in her face.

Come on, Tina. It's just another performance. You can get through this.

After quickly fixing her makeup and hair, Tina put on a cheerful smile, ready to face the crowd again. But just as she was leaving the bathroom, she bumped into someone.

"Oh, excuse me!" Tina stepped back and held up her hands. "I didn't see ya…"

She trailed off as she was met with the absurd sight of a demon with a television for a head. She couldn't help it. The joke wrote itself.

"Sorry, mister, didn't mean to flatten your face. Or was it already like that?"

The face on the screen frowned for a moment, then glitched into a smile. "Suppose I deserve that for not watching where I'm going."

The TV man bowed in a way that reminded Tina of Alastor. He even wore a similar style tuxedo, only indigo.

"Let me make it up to you." He tipped his top hat as he took her hand. "The name's Vox."

"Oh!" Tina pulled her hand away. "So you're Vox."

Vox straightened up. "You've heard of me, then."

She crossed her arms. "My husband talks 'bout ya a lot."

"Husband?" He looked her over again, his digital smile widening. "That's right. You're Alastor's girl, ain't ya? My partner Valentino mentioned you."

Tina put up a fake smile. "Be sure to tell him I hope his hearin' comes back."

Before she could take a step, Vox grabbed her wrist. "What's your hurry, doll face? We were just getting to know each other."

Tina dropped all politeness and raised her fist. "Please, let go, before I smash in that screen of yours."

Vox obeyed and held up his hands. "Val told me you were a difficult dame to please. Makes me wonder just how Al managed to snatch you up."

She turned her back and tried to leave again. "He at least has manners."

But Vox stepped into her path. "Val also says you've got quite a voice. Not a bad sense of humor either."

"That so?" Tina crossed her arms. "Here's a joke for ya. What did the remote say to the noisy TV?"

His digital red eyes blinked. "Don't know. What did the remote say to the—?"

She held out her hand towards his screen, pretending to press a button on a remote. "Mute."

Tina walked past him. Vox gave a mechanical chuckle as he followed her.

"So, that's what Al sees in you. He always had a thing for lame-ass jokes. At least you don't sound like you're trying too hard." He blocked her way once again. "You ever considered a career in television, babe?"

Seeing that she wasn't going to shake him off anytime soon, Tina replied, "I've guest-starred on a few cable talk shows."

He bent down to her level. "A talented performer like you deserves her own show. Not just some evening act in a teeny, tiny rundown bar."

Tina scowled. How dare he talk about Mimzy's place like that?!

"I could make you a star," Vox whispered, taking her hand. "But don't worry, you wouldn't have to do anything obscene like what Val invests in. Just do your normal routine, only this time you'll be entertaining millions."

A little way across the room, Alastor was searching for his wife, as she was taking a long time to powder her nose. He stopped in his tracks when he spotted her with Vox of all demons.

"Believe me, toots." Vox moved closer to Tina, his screen just inches away. "You'll get more publicity on TV than you will on radio."

Alastor clenched his fists at his sides, eyes glowing and antlers growing. He hated that blasted television. Events like this were supposed to be neutral ground for Overlords, but having the gall to accost and touch his wife was going too far!

He was prepared to rip that television off Vox's neck when Tina spoke, "What's the catch?"

Vox chuckled. "Smart girl. I don't ask for much." He captured her chin. "But should you happen to have a few juicy tidbits to share of that husband of yours…"

And there it is. Tina smirked up at the creepy screen.

"Here's a tidbit, Mr. TV Demon." She wrenched her hand out of his grasp and took a step back. "Al's a better dealmaker than you."

Alastor returned to normal, his ears perking up at Tina's words.

"Points for effort, though," she said, giving Vox a sweet smile. "If you'd found me a decade ago, I might've taken ya up on that offer."

Tina patted Vox's shoulder in a condescending manner that made him frown. "But I've met a shit ton of sweet-talkers like you. And all ya've done is prove that I was right to pick Al when he proposed."

She leaned in to whisper, "And you must be scared of Al, if you're resorting to seducing his wife to find his weaknesses."

Vox was rendered speechless. Alastor grinned as his heart swelled with pride. Did I, or did I not pick the most perfect wife?

"Val's right." Vox kept a calm tone as he straightened up. "You're tougher than you look, doll. If I were you, I'd watch that mouth of yours." He pointed to her lips. "Someone might be inclined to sew it shut."

Tina maintained her smile as she brushed his hand aside. "I'll tell my husband ya said that." Her tone dropped into something sultrier. "Course with that tall drink of water, my mouth might be busy with other things."

Vox's screen glitched as she sashayed away, giggling to herself. Then she looked up and saw Alastor.

"There ya are." She jerked her thumb behind her. "Your buddy Vox says hi."

"I saw." Alastor stooped down and cupped her chin. "You handled yourself beautifully, my dear. I couldn't be prouder."

He surprised her with a peck on the cheek. He'd never done that before. Not even in public.

"What's this now?" Tina put a hand to her cheek and smirked. "Did my standin' up for myself actually turn ya on a little bit?"

"I do not get," Alastor said, putting his arm around her shoulder, "'turned on,' as you call it." Then he pressed her close and whispered in her ear. "Though I'll admit, it was pretty close."

She knew he was only teasing, but it caused her to blush all the same. "Down, boy. People are watchin'."

He rubbed his nose into her hair. "All the more reason for me to keep whispering flirtatiously."

"Stop!" Tina pushed him back with a laugh. "It's weird comin' from you!"

"Rejected by my own wife." Alastor dramatically put a hand to his chest. "I'm hurt, darling. Truly."

There were several eyes from them now, including Vox's. Alastor was right. Flirtatious banter like this would make their husband-and-wife act more convincing. So convincing, in fact, Tina didn't feel so uncomfortable with it. Not like during their whirlwind engagement.

"Truth be told, mon épouse," Alastor said, "I find formal events like these to be painfully dull. Not like the parties we had back in New Orleans." He met her eyes. "The people here aren't as…interesting."

Tina glanced over at Vox. "No kiddin'."

"And oh, what a neglectful husband I've been, ignoring you all evening!" He took her hands in his. "I haven't even taken you for a turn on the dancefloor! Let's correct that, shall we?"

Alastor began dragging her towards the circle of demon couples waltzing to classical music.

"Wait!" Tina planted her heels firmly to the floor. "I can't."

Her husband stopped and raised an eyebrow. "Of course, you can. We've danced together before."

She bit her lip. "Not a waltz."

He glanced at the waltzing demons. "But our wedding—"

"That was different. That was to a jazz ballad. Not this…classical stuff." Her eyes shifted about. "And not with all these fancy rich people watchin'."

Then he understood. It wasn't the dance itself, but the sophisticated atmosphere. Tina had barely said a word all evening, contrary to her usual badmouth, opinionated attitude. She was afraid of embarrassing herself in front of these upper-class souls. Alastor's lips fell over his teeth, forming a much gentler smile.

"You needn't feel like you need to prove yourself to these people, darling." He cupped her chin. "Remember, you and I didn't need to be born into fame and fortune. We worked for it. So, if anything," he said with a boop to her nose, "we deserve to be here more than them.

"And besides, you're on my arm now." He took the hand that held the ruby engagement ring with a radio emblem carved in the center. "If anyone so much as utters an unkind word towards you, they will have me to answer to."

Tina gave a soft smile.

"There we are." Alastor kissed her knuckles, just above her ring. "Now you're the true belle of this ball."

He then pulled her into a waltz. This time, Tina didn't protest. As they danced the night away, they slowly forgot about everyone else there. The only company that mattered to them that evening was each other's.

"This asshole bothering you again?" Vaggie said, snapping Alastor out of his flashback.

"No." Tina glanced his way before walking up to Vaggie. "Just takin' up space."

Alastor tried not to betray the hurt on his face. Insults, he could handle. Acting like he wasn't even there was another matter.

"So, Tina." Vaggie pulled her in close and held up her clipboard. "I'm not so confident about this group you've sent us. I mean…" She read off her list. "Psychiatrist who slept with her own patients? Joined a cult and died in a suicide pact? Twincest?!"

"I said they were well-behaved. I didn't say they were perfect. What, did ya expect saints or something?" Tina leaned in to whisper, "But yeah, ya might wanna keep an eye on Dinah and Dana."

Vaggie lowered her clipboard. "These aren't just sinners. They're mentally unstable."

Tina shrugged. "Ya can't very well rehabilitate people who are stable. What sets these folks apart from most sinners down here is that they actually wanna change. Take Dr. Cougarton, for instance."

Tina pointed to the lioness talking to the Dicto twins over by the buffet table. "She's worked with sex addicts for years and only recently discovered she's a sex addict herself due to her inability to form an emotional connection. Sure, she's still as flirtatious as fuck, but since she started workin' for me, she's learned the meanin' of consent. And now takes her addiction outside her one-on-one sessions, so it's less inappropriate.

"As for the twins…well, yeah. Their relationship ain't ideal. But due to an absentee father and neglectful mother, they're all each other's had. And yeah, they took that bond a tad too far. All the same, they never hurt anybody."

Tina turned Vaggie around towards the muscular hellhound guarding the doors. "Hildegard over there has some anger management issues. But workin' as a bodyguard helps her channel that anger into something productive. Now instead of randomly attackin' people, she only attacks in defense."

"Okay, I get it." Vaggie stepped back. "But I don't see how they're going to get to Heaven if they continue to make, uh, certain people uncomfortable."

"Like I said." Tina crossed her arms. "Have a problem, talk to Demon Resources."

As she said this, Carrie Canary re-entered the ballroom. Hildegard sneered at her. Carrie squealed and dropped her stack of papers. She stammered incomprehensively as she scrambled to pick the sheets off the floor.

"Yeah." Vaggie rolled her eyes. "She's real good at confrontation."

While Vaggie went to help Carrie with her papers, Alastor walked up to Tina.

"Don't take Vagatha's attitude personally, darling. She's that way with everyone! Except for Miss Charlotte, of course."

"She and I aren't that different, then," Tina said.

She still didn't meet his eyes. Alastor wished she would make more of an effort to converse with him. They used to have such fun together. If only there were a way to remind her of that.

He scanned the room for something to talk about. The food had nearly run out and demons were yawning all around. Some were slumped against the wall, examining cracks in the ceiling.

Then his eyes fell upon the piano on the stage and an audible ding went off.

"I know that sound." Tina turned back to Alastor. "Ya've got some dumb idea cookin' up in that noggin of yours, don't ya?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." He made sure Vaggie had left the ballroom with the next interviewee before continuing. "Looks like your underlings could use some entertainment."

She noted the bored expressions surrounding her. "They have been waitin' a while." When she looked back at her husband, he was staring at her eagerly. "What?"

Alastor cocked his head. "I'm surprised, dear. You used to jump at any opportunity to entertain."

"Oh." She bit her lip. "Well, uh, that was before—"

"What say we perform one of our old routines?" Alastor threw his arm around her. "Like we did back in the day at Mimzy's?"

Tina blushed when she recalled how Mimzy had gotten her and Alastor to perform a few duets as a way to spice up the evening act.

"I'm not sure that's," Tina said, pushing him back, "appropriate right now." She glanced around, hoping no one had seen that brief moment of physical contact between them. "Everyone here knows ya as my ex."

"Come now, dear." Alastor took her hands. "We sang together long before we considered ourselves lovers! Why should this time be any different?"

Tina withdrew her hands and finally met his eyes. Although Alastor kept up his smile, the sadness in his gaze was unmistakable.

"Fight me all you want, mon amour." He remained composed, placing his hands behind his back. "But if we are to be working together, at some point, we'll have to cooperate."

"I know." She rubbed the back of her neck. "The thing is, it's been a while since—"

"I think you'll enjoy the routine I have in mind!"

She looked at him suspiciously. "Which one?"

Instead of answering, Alastor disappeared into the shadows and reappeared at the piano onstage. He diddled across the keyboard to check that it was in tune. Heads turned at the sudden musical cue.

"And now, ladies and gentle-demons!" Alastor said, his voice amplified despite his microphone being nowhere in sight. "While you're waiting for your rooms to be ready, please enjoy this exclusive performance from myself and my oh, so talented wife!"

The lights suddenly dimmed and a spotlight shone on Tina.

"Ex-wife," she grumbled, pulling the brim of her hat over her face.

A second spotlight shone on Alastor as he went on with his introduction. "This song is a bit after my time, but I know it's a favorite of my sweetheart's." He winked Tina's way. "And it is always a treat to sing alongside her."

Tina lifted the brim of her hat to send a glare. "Play that piano, and you're dead."

"She loves me," Alastor sang as he played a soft chord, "she loves me not."

"Oh, no." Her hat went back down. "Not that song."

"She loves me, she loves me not."

That's what Tina got for introducing him to Elvis.

"She loves me," Alastor continued, now playing staccato chords with more vigor, "she loves me, she loves me!"

The song was meant to be soft rock, but he played it in a more ragtime style. Guitar and saxophone accompaniment came from seemingly nowhere as Alastor picked up the pace.

"The lady loves me and it shows.
In spite of the way she turns up her nose.
I'm her ideal, her heart's desire."

Alastor held out his palm, conjuring up a heart-shaped ice cube. "Under that ice she's burning like fire."

The heart burst into flames, which earned several oohs from the audience. Tina shook her head and turned to leave. But Alastor extended his arm like elastic, snagged her by the waist and pulled her up onto the bench. He didn't need his other hand to play, as the required keys played on their own.

"She'd like to cuddle up to me."

Despite her growling, he pressed his cheek to hers. "She's playing hard to get."

As if to emphasize the line, Tina slapped him and jumped off the bench.

"The lady loves me." Alastor watched her retreat as he rubbed his sore cheek. "But she doesn't know it yet."

He winked at the audience. They responded with laughs and fangirl screams. Tina put her hands on her hips. She couldn't believe how okay they all were with Alastor practically harassing her onstage!

"Dear, it's your cue," he whispered.

Then Tina remembered her part in the song and grinned mischievously. This was the perfect opportunity for revenge.

She touched her brooch and sang as she ran her hand along the piano:

"The gentleman has savoir-faire,
As much as an elephant—"

She slammed her backside into the piano and the lid fell shut. "—or a bear."

Tina hopped on top of the instrument and locked eyes with Alastor. "I'd like to take him for a spin."

She curled her finger for him to come closer..

"Back to the zoo—" Just as he leaned in, she pushed him back. "—to visit his kin."

Tina faced the audience. "He's got about as much appeal—"

She held up to fingers to her mouth as if she were smoking.

"As a soggy cigarette.
The lady loathes him."

She mimed flicking the cigarette in Alastor's direction and then wagged her finger. "But he doesn't know it yet."

The audience hooted and hollered. They were really eating up this love-hate routine. Just as the crowd at Mimzy's used to.

It took all of Alastor's willpower not to turn into putty at the sound of Tina's voice. For ten years, he'd only heard her sing on a record player. It was even more heavenly than he remembered, stronger too. She didn't need a microphone to amplify her voice like back in the day. He then noticed a faint red light pulsing from that amethyst brooch of hers.

He'd wondered about that brooch. It must've had some kind of magic connected to her voice. He would have to ask about it later, as his cue was coming up.

Alastor rose from his seat, letting the piano continue on its own, as he made his way around to Tina, his spotlight following him. "The lady's got a crush on me."

"The gentleman's crazy," Tina sang, circling her finger beside her head, "obviously."

Alastor took her hand. "The lady's dying to be kissed."

She wrenched her hand back before it could reach his lips. "The gentleman needs a psychiatrist."

Tina winked and pointed at Dr. Cougarton, who laughed.

"I'd rather kiss a rattlesnake." Tina stuck out her tongue. "Or play Russian roulette."

She put a finger gun to her temple and simulated pulling the trigger.

"The lady loves me." Alastor began putting his arm around her, only for her to jump off the piano. "But she doesn't know it yet."

Angel Dust watched the performance from the buffet table, a glass of punch in one hand, a shortbread cookie in another. Despite the lyrics of the songs and Tina's actions, it was obvious in her expression that she was enjoying this. Even when she made a show of rejecting Alastor's advances, he didn't convey the least bit of annoyance, but rather looked at her with that half-lidded gaze of admiration.

Perhaps Niffty was going to win the bet after all. But with this flirt show, Angel Dust didn't really care if he lost fifty bucks.

Tina walked across the stage with her hands on her hips. Alastor followed her as he sang the next verse:

"She's falling fast, she's on the skids."

"Both of his heads—" Tina flew up to flick his forehead. "—are flippin' their lids."

"Tonight she'll hold me—" He stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. "—in her arms."

She swept up her arms to push his off. "I'd rather be holdin' hydrogen bombs."

Tina dramatically adjusted her bust on the last two words. The audience erupted with whistles and squeals.

"Will someone tell this Romeo
I'm not his Juliet?"

"The lady loves me." Alastor wagged his finger. "But she doesn't know it yet."

At this point, Charlie and Vaggie had walked in, ready to call the next interviewees. Then they saw what was happening onstage. Vaggie looked to her girlfriend for an explanation, but she only shrugged. Neither of them made a move to stop it, as everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Back onstage, Alastor conjured up a bouquet of lilies and presented them to Tina. "She wants me."

"Like poison ivy." Tina swiped the bouquet and threw them into the crowd. Ladies scrambled to catch it.

Alastor slid to the other side of Tina. "Needs me."

"Like a hole in the head." She knocked the side of her skull.

He snatched up her hand and led her into a twirl. "Everyone can see she's got it bad!"

He dipped her on the last word. Tina rolled her eyes.

"Ugh, he's mad!"

She straightened up, pushed him off and headed back towards the piano. "The gentleman is an egotist."

"I'm simply aware—" Alastor slicked back his hair. "—I'm hard to resist."

"He's one man I could learn to hate." Tina gagged and pointed to her hanging tongue.

Then the Radio Demon materialized on the piano behind her, lying on his stomach with his feet in the air. His elbows were propped up, his chin resting on his interlocked fingers.

"How's about having dinner at eight?" he sang with a wink.

Tina flew up onto the piano, standing over him.

"I'd rather dine with Frankenstein.
In a moonlight tête-à-tête."

She kicked him in the side, sending him rolling off the piano. He landed on the keyboard with a discordant clang!

"The lady lo-oves me," Alastor sang dizzily as he cradled his head. "But she doesn't know it yet."

Regaining his composure, he stood back up and smoothed out his jacket. "Oh yes, she loves me."

Tina jerked her thumb towards him as she spoke to the audience. "Dig that shrinkin' violet."

She flapped her wings and advanced on Alastor. The dangerous look in her eyes gave him the good sense to back up, not realizing he was headed for the edge of the stage.

His voice grew more nervous with every note. "Oh, she really loves me."

Tina smirked, placing her hand on his chest. "Here's one gal you'll never get."

She pushed him over the edge. Alastor's arms flailed as he fell backward, but he somehow managed to land on his feet. The crowd parted as he continued to back away from the incoming bat.

"She love, love, loves me."

Tina crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Would ya like to make a bet?"

Alastor's back hit the buffet table. The punch bowl sloshed behind him.

"I said, 'the lady—'" He gulped as she placed her arms on either side of him, trapping him. "'l-loves me.'"

A heavy blush rose to Alastor's cheeks as Tina leaned in, their noses almost touching. Behind his back, she reached for an empty glass and dipped it into the punch. He was too flustered to notice.

Then she sang the last line: "The gentleman's all wet."

Alastor figured out her plan a second too late. Tina recoiled and splashed the glass of punch in his face. The crowd burst into fits of laughter and applause.

"You were right, Al." Tina put the glass back on the table. "I did enjoy that."

The Songbat turned to the audience and bowed. Across the room, Charlie and Vaggie stood with their mouths agape.

"Okay, I was wrong." Vaggie shook her head. "She doesn't need us to protect her from him."

"Told ya. That dame can handle herself."

Charlie and Vaggie turned, surprised to find Husk standing there.

"Where've you been all day?" Vaggie asked.

"Hangover." Husk held up a bottle. "Where else?"

Meanwhile, Tina was taking compliments from her employees. Alastor still stood frozen at the buffet table, fruit punch dripping down his face and staining his jacket. Angel Dust came up to him, clutching his stomach with his lower hands, an upper hand holding out a napkin.

"Oh boy, Smiles!" Angel wiped away a tear with his free hand. "Ya sure know how to pick 'em! That was hilarious! Too bad your little romantic ploy was thwarted with punch!"

"On the contrary, Angel." The lids fell over Alastor's eyes. "I got exactly what I wanted."

Angel stopped laughing and followed the Radio Demon's gaze. Naturally, it was on Tina, who was talking and giggling with her employees.

"I got my lovely wife to smile again." Alastor took the napkin from Angel to dry himself off. "Which made this all worth it."

Man I wish I had more to go on with Vox.

UPDATE AFTER HELLUVA BOSS S2 E1:

Okay, obviously most of us thought Stolas was WAY older than he actually was, so unlikely he would've been an adult in the 20-year flashback here. But really, how was I supposed to know he was in his 30s?