Title song: "Someone to Watch Over Me" by Ella Fitzgerald

"Thanks for helpin' me clean up in there, Niffty," Tina said.

Niffty waved her hand. "It's my job to clean after Al, anyway. At least there wasn't any blood this time."

While Alastor snoozed in his bedroom, the two ladies sat down in the penthouse kitchen to enjoy a tray of tea and cucumber sandwiches Niffty had brought up. Tina was gorging on the tiny food, as she'd missed breakfast.

"And don't worry," Niffty said, sipping her tea. "I'll be sure to clean the vomit out of your dress along with Alastor's trousers."

"Do me a favor," Tina said, "don't tell anyone that I had to change him. Especially Angel Dust. I'd never hear the end of it."

"Oh, of course not." Niffty circled the rim of her cup. "Though just out of curiosity from an objective third party who has nothing to gain or lose from the outcome, did anything…physical happen?"

Tina spat out her tea. "Good God, Niffty, no! Ya think I'd bang someone while they're drunk?!" She pointed upward. "There's some states up there that'd consider that rape, ya know."

"Oh, I know, I know!" The cyclops held up a hand. "I just wanna check if at any time, whether accidentally or on purpose, your lips happened to meet with his?"

Tina set down her teacup. "No."

Niffty sighed in disappointment. She didn't care so much about the fifty bucks, but would've loved to hear that Alastor had made some progress in winning Tina back. Although, getting thrown up on by one's drunken husband didn't exactly provide the most romantic atmosphere.

"Can't believe Al didn't tell me he had a drinkin' problem." Tina leaned her cheek against her fist.

"Maybe he's too embarrassed," Niffty said.

"What's there to be embarrassed about? It's not like I wouldn't understand as he's seen me at the bottle dozens of times."

"That's just it. Alastor's supposed to be the one to provide for you. Sure, you make your own money Mrs. Tina, but you know how men are." Niffty rolled her eyes. "They always gotta be the strong ones and look out for their little women at home. Take me, for example."

Niffty took a ladylike bite of her sandwich. "When Al first found me in the gutter, he thought I was some lost little kid. Which wasn't too far from the truth. Even though I was in my twenties I'd recently died and had nowhere to go. Not to mention I was covered in dirt and rags and someone else's blood at the time. And Al's always had a bit of a soft spot for the fairer sex so he took me home, cleaned me up, fed me and gave me a place to stay for the night."

"Ya've told me this story," Tina said. "Then ya made that deal that he'd protect and provide for ya in exchange for your soul."

Niffty shrugged. "Not a bad deal since all he really has me do is clean up his messes. Not that he can't take care of that himself with his Voodoo magic. He just lets me do it so I can feel useful."

She leaned in to whisper. "Though between you and me, I think the real reason is so he can have someone to talk to."

Tina nodded. "Always wondered why he didn't just have you be his trophy wife."

"Oh, don't get me wrong. Al's good-looking and all, but…" Niffty hummed. "Even after all these decades, he still treats me like a child sometimes. Which is weird, cuz I'm way older than you. Not that I mind him thinking of me that way. My father wasn't the most involved, so it's nice to have an older man looking out for me like a daughter.

"All the same," Niffty said with a sigh, "Alastor often forgets that I'm a grown woman and can take care of myself. That's why I have my own place. I mean when he offered help at the time, I had nothing. But I'm used to Hell now and don't need as much protecting. But, you know, he's such a gentleman that he has to butt in when he sees a lady in distress."

Tina looked back at the bedroom door. "Yeah, I know."

"Anyway, that's probably why he didn't tell you he wasn't handling your separation well. With all the times he's saved you, he didn't wanna admit that he needed saving."

"Well, tough." Tina picked up her cup. "If he wanted to be such a big protector, he should've married someone more delicate."

"Oh, I don't think that's why he married you, Mrs. Tina." Niffty smiled. "When Al first told me he was engaged, he wouldn't shut up about how strong and bold and witty you were. 'Unlike any woman I've ever met before,' he said. 'And with a pretty face and the voice of an angel to boot.'"

The Songbat blushed. "He said this…before we got married?"

"And after!" Niffty circled her hands. "Every conversation between us somehow led to you. Something you did, something you said, what he should get for your anniversary. He's always been energetic, but since you came along, it was like that energy suddenly had some direction. Not all over the place with new hobbies popping up every decade or so. From the moment you were engaged, everything seemed to be about you."

The cyclops put a hand over her heart and gave a dreamy sigh. "I'd never seen a man more in love." Then she frowned. "Or heartbroken."

She looked down at her lap. "When you left, I tried my best to cheer him up. And make sure he didn't hurt himself. But all he wanted was you."

Tina stared down at the tea leaves in her cup. "I…didn't think he'd miss me that much."

Niffty scoffed. "You kidding? For almost four decades, Al told me he would never marry anyone, woman or man, in a million years! Yet out of all the demons in Hell, he proposed to you! And for ten years the two of you were practically glued to the hip! I barely ever caught one of you alone! You really thought he wouldn't miss you?"

"It's not that I didn't think of how he'd feel!" Tina slumped in her seat. "In fact, the reason I left was cuz I…did somethin'. Somethin' I couldn't take back." Her voice lowered. "And I couldn't bear the thought of hurtin' him again."

Niffty cocked her head. "And how is what you're doing now not hurting him?"

"I know, I know!" Tina groaned as she buried her face in her hands. "That's why I wish Al would just give up on me already. He doesn't need me draggin' him through the mud and deserves better."

"Oh, I'm sure whatever you did couldn't have been that bad if Al's still willing to take you back."

"Believe me, it was bad," the Songbat murmured. "The worst thing I've done since I died."

Niffty leaned forward. "What was it exactly?"

Tina looked up and met her eye. "Sorry, Niffty. I can't tell ya."

"Why? It couldn't be worse than what I did to my ex. And that was kill him."

"Cuz if I told ya, ya wouldn't want me gettin' back with Al." Tina hung her head. "And probably not be my friend anymore."

"I doubt that, but I understand." Niffty reached out and touched her arm. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But whatever happened between you and Al, all he wants is for you to care about him again. So even if what you did was super horrible and unforgivable, he's still hopelessly devoted to you. How many men like that are you gonna find down here?"

A loud moan turned their attention to the bedroom door. Tina rose from her seat.

"I should go check on him."

Niffty nodded and stood as well. "I'll bring you both some lunch later."

The cyclops left the penthouse while the Songbat opened the bedroom door. Alastor was still in bed, tossing and turning. Tina shut the door and approached him slowly. Spending many nights at his side had taught her that the Radio Demon was a restless sleeper. To wake him up too soon would be dangerous.

"Tina," he mumbled in his sleep, reaching his arms out. "Tina, don't leave me."

She stopped at the edge of the bed. Alastor's smile dipped into a frown as he turned his back to her.

"Why do you hate me, Tina?" He clawed at his pillow. "Why, why, why?"

He tore through the pillowcase, spilling feathers onto the sheets. Then he began to sob.

"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it."

Tina wasn't sure what was going on in his dream, but it obviously involved her in some way. Even asleep, she was all he could think about. And was tortured by it.

"Don't leave me." Alastor curled into a shaking ball. "Don't leave me. Don't leave me."

Tina crawled under the covers and reached for him. "Shh."

The moment her hand touched his back, Alastor froze. She gently stroked his spine, singing:

"Hush little baby, don't say a word.
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird."

As she continued the lullaby, the slumbering deer heaved a sigh, his lips forming a small, content smile. Tina snuggled closer to him, resting her forehead between his shoulders.

Alastor flipped over, pulling her into a bear hug. She made no effort to move as he snored into her hair.

He was right. She had missed this. The two of them holding each other in bed, keeping each other warm and safe from the nightmares that plagued them both. They'd only gotten worse since she'd left.

She still needed him. Not to protect her from the horrors of Hell, but the horrors of her mind. And he had some new horrors he needed protecting from.

Tina shifted slightly to make herself more comfortable. Alastor pulled her tighter with a whine.

"Don't leave."

She couldn't help but smirk, wondering if she'd been just as clingy and childish when drunk.

"I ain't goin' nowhere, Al," she whispered into his chest. "Not this time."

"Honey, I'm home!" Alastor called as he entered the manor.

Ten months of marriage and the novelty of saying that had yet to wear off. It was thrilling, having someone to come home to other than his shadow. The mansion didn't feel so empty with Tina around.

Of course, it was still a big mansion, and he couldn't always find his wife right away. Then a distant clatter directed him towards the kitchen.

"I brought fresh venison for dinner!" He peered into one of the two brown paper bags in his arms. "Well, your dinner anyway."

He chuckled as he pushed his back against the kitchen door. "Since it's your day off, dear, why don't you let me do the cooking tonight and you just re—"

He nearly dropped the bags. Tina was sprawled on the kitchen floor in a green tank top and jeans, her back against the oven. Empty glass bottles littered the floor. Alastor recognized them from his liquor cabinet.

"Tina?" He set the bags onto the table and knelt down to his wife. "Are you alright, darling?"

He patted her cheek. Tina tiredly opened her bloodshot eyes and grinned.

"Hey—hic—Allie-store!" she said in an uncharacteristically bubbly voice. "What's shakin' babe?"

He caught a whiff of her breath and reeled back. "Are you drunk?"

Tina picked up a nearby bottle that still held liquor. "What makes ya say—hic—that?"

He grabbed the bottle before it could reach her lips. "I believe you've had quite enough of that."

She pouted her lip. "You ain't my—hic—daddy."

"No, but I am your husband." Alastor scooped her into his arms and stood up. "And a good husband doesn't leave his wife on the floor while intoxicated."

Tina giggled and booped his nose. "You're cute—hic—Bambi boy."

He rolled his eyes. "Given your state of mind, I'll forgive any untowardness that may come of this."

She reached up. "Can I —hic—pet your ears?"

"No, you may not, madam!" He wrenched his head away. "Drunk or not, there are still boundaries!"

Tina pouted. "Pweeeaaase?"

Alastor shook his head. "That may work on most men, but not this one, sweetheart. Now let's get you to bed before you do something you'll—"

He stiffened as Tina threw up on his jacket.

"—regret."

"Sorry." She giggled, spreading the vomit around with her hand. "Let me—hic—clean it."

"No need."

Alastor snapped his fingers, cleaning them both off and teleporting them to the bathroom. He set Tina in front of the toilet, which she immediately made use of. Alastor knelt down behind her and pulled her hair back.

She wasn't the first drunken person he'd dealt with. Husk got drunk all the time. Up top, Alastor would usually bring unruly drunks home for supper. Particularly if they were men accosting women in the streets.

Then there had been his father. In that situation, Alastor would rarely come out unscathed.

But this was the first time the Radio Demon had ever felt the compulsion to care for someone in this state. Mostly he wanted to know the cause of it. He'd observed that Tina was a heavy drinker, but never seen her go overboard like this.

After the fourth upchuck, Tina plopped her head onto the toilet rim. "Yuck."

"Couldn't agree more, dear." Alastor patted her back. "You finished?"

She held up a finger, then retched into the toilet once more. He waited a few more minutes to ensure she was done before picking her up again. Tina playfully batted his hair as he carried her to her room.

"You're so—hic—fluffy."

"So I've been told," Alastor grumbled.

She giggled. "Fluffy—hic—deer boy."

Alastor didn't hesitate to drop her into bed. She landed on her rump with an "oomph!"

"Alright, bed time for you," he said. "Hold still while I change you."

He was about to snap his fingers when Tina grabbed them.

"No—hic—need," she said with a coy smile. "I can do it myself."

Just then, she started taking off her tank top. Alastor quickly diverted his eyes once he realized she wasn't wearing a bra underneath.

"What do you think you're," he said, putting his hand up, "doing?"

"Come on ya sexy Sugar Daddy." Her hands fiddled with the buttons of his coat. "Don't ya wanna make your wife a happy mama?"

He had to turn his head completely around to avoid looking at her half-naked body. "Y-You're drunk, darling. We had an agreement, remember?"

Tina fell forward, pressing her chest to his. "Devour me you hungry hunky deer man."

He blushed furiously. "You need to get into your nightgown."

She giggled. "Have to take my clothes off first."

Alastor snapped his fingers, making a white nightgown appear on Tina's body. She pouted and sunk back onto the bed.

"That's cheatin'!"

"That's what you get." He turned his head back round to face her with a scowl. "I realize you're under the influence of alcohol at the moment, but I didn't think it would cause you to forget your sense of propriety, madam. Honestly, did you think coming at me in a drunken stupor was going to change my mind about our relationship just like that?"

She hung her head. "You—hic—angry with me?"

Upon hearing her ashamed tone, he softened.

"No, dear." Alastor sighed. "I'm just not used to seeing you like this."

Without warning, Tina burst into tears, plopping her face onto her pillow. "You don't—hic—like me!"

"Oh, come now, darling, don't be like that." He sat on the edge of the bed. "Just because I have no desire to go between your gams doesn't mean I don't like you."

This only made her cry louder. "I'm a fuckin'—hic—whore!"

"No, no, you're not." He patted her shoulder, feeling rather awkward. "You're simply not in your proper wits at the moment."

She sniffed. "I hate me."

"Well I don't." Alastor stroked her back. "And even if I did, I'm still your husband, sweetheart. And will always be here for you."

As he continued to soothe her, Tina eventually cried herself to sleep. It seemed he would be having dinner alone tonight.

Once he'd eaten, Alastor remained at his wife's bedside, watching for any signs of distress. If she whined or writhed in any way, he would calm her with a light touch on her arm.

It was morning when she finally awoke. She put a hand to her head, grumbling as she attempted to sit up.

"Good morning, dear!" Alastor exclaimed.

Tina covered one ear and held up her other hand. "Not so loud."

He lowered his voice. "Here. Drink this."

She opened her eyes to see him holding a glass of a thick brown liquid out to her. "What is it?"

"Best not to ask," Alastor said. "But it's good for hangovers."

She sighed and took the glass. "Just promise me there's no demon blood or anythin' like that in it."

"I swear on my mother's grave." He raised his right palm and crossed his heart.

Tina decided to take the chance and sip the drink. She immediately spat it out.

"It may taste foul," Alastor said with an amused smile, "but it will make the headache subside sooner. Here, allow me."

He took back the glass. Then he pinched her nose and tilted her head back, pouring the strange liquid down her throat. Tina gagged as soon as he let her breathe.

"It's like castor oil mixed with tar." She coughed. "Can I get some water?"

A quick snap replaced the so-called medicine with water. She muttered a thank you and drank it down.

"Did I," she said, handing him back the glass, "do somethin' weird last night?"

"Well." Alastor looked up at the ceiling. "You were rather…flirtatious."

"Oh shit." Tina cradled her head. "What'd I do?"

"Hmm." He tapped his chin. "I believe you said something along the lines of, 'Devour me you hungry hunky deer man.'"

"Fuck."

She dropped her head to her knees. Then she noticed what she was wearing and looked up at Alastor fearfully.

"Did you…change my clothes?"

"With magic, dear." He snapped his fingers.

She checked her arms and legs. "So, we didn't…?"

"Good gracious, Tina!" Alastor put a hand over his heart. "What sort of gentleman do you take me for?"

Tina blinked up at him. "Ya didn't…take advantage of the situation?"

"Certainly not! Especially to a woman in that state! Besides, we made a deal. I only touched you so that I could get you to the bathroom when you vomited and then safely into bed. Nothing more."

She looked herself over again, not finding any telltale marks. "Ya really didn't."

Alastor shook his head. "It's a shame."

"I know." Tina rolled her eyes. "Last night wasn't my finest moment."

"No, it's a shame that you would ever assume something so," he said with a shiver, "vulgar of me."

She held up her hands. "No, Al, I didn't mean it like—"

"But it's understandable, I suppose." His voice softened as he ran a hand through his hair. "From what you've told me of your previous encounters with men, that would naturally be your conclusion."

Tina bit her lip. "Sorry. You're right. I mean we've been sharin' a bed together, so it shouldn't've crossed my mind that you would—"

"It's alright." He leaned forward and cupped her chin. "I can assure you, chère, if ever I did want you in that fashion, it would not be whilst you were in an inferior state of mind. That would be undignified."

She rubbed her aching temple. "Can't believe ya saw me like that."

He shrugged. "It happens to the best of us."

"Not to you."

"Because I know when enough is enough." He cleared his throat. "But I will not judge you for that. I'm sure whatever your reason for going overboard, it was a valid one. Was there something in particular on your mind last night?

Tina stared down at her lap in silence. Alastor crossed one leg over the other, pressing his fingertips together.

"You don't have to share it with me if you don't want to," he said sincerely. "Just know that whatever happens in this house stays between us."

It was true her husband was all about discretion. Every other time Tina had confided in him, he'd done it with patience and understanding. But this ran deeper than anything she'd ever confessed.

And yet, she felt like she owed him an explanation. After all, he'd come home to find her wasted and instead of doing what most men would do, he'd taken her straight to bed, and stayed at her side ready to nurse her hangover. She shouldn't have doubted him after being married for almost a year.

Besides, if she was damned for eternity, someone might as well know why.

"Yesterday was November 15th," she murmured.

Alastor cocked his head. "So it was."

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "It's my daughter's birthday."

The Radio Demon was quiet for a long time. She was too afraid to see his expression.

"You never told me you were a mother," he said softly.

"I was." She hugged her knees to her chest. "For a little while."

He lowered his hands to his lap. "You weren't married. Before me."

It wasn't a question. She shook her head.

"Was Ethan the father?"

Tina nodded. "Even in death, he managed to leave me one hell of a reminder."

Alastor uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. "What became of the child?"

She sniffed and wiped her nose on her arm. "I wanted an abortion. I almost did it too, but Mama always said it was a sin." She scoffed. "The irony, I know. But I carried it to term, kept it quiet. Didn't even tell Mama. Couldn't face the shame."

She rested her forehead on her knees. "I thought maybe…maybe I could want it. When she came. But she…she had his eyes. I…I couldn't look at her without seein' him. It was like he was punishin' me from beyond the grave."

Her ears grew pointier for a moment. They shrank back as she started sobbing.

"So I…I left her. Not at an orphanage or a hospital, but in an alley. Outside a restaurant. I…I didn't want her traced back to me. My reputation was already at risk for what I'd done to my boss. A baby out of wedlock, even in the '90's would've…"

More tears came. Tina buried her face in her hands.

"I…I just left her there! Didn't even check to see if anyone found her! And it was rainin' for God's sake! She…she cried. And I…I didn't look back. Just kept walkin'. I just kept fuckin' walkin'!"

Alastor handed her a handkerchief. She accepted it and blew her nose.

"I still hear her cryin'," she choked. "At night. Sometimes when I'm awake. And last night. I wanted it to stop. So I drank and I just…kept goin'."

She wiped her face with the handkerchief. "So there it is. That's the reason I'm down here. Never mind that I slept around or killed someone. God forgave Mary Magdala and Moses, after all. But what I did to my baby…"

Tina sobbed into the handkerchief. "That's the one sin I can't even forgive myself for."

As she continued to cry, the mattress sunk beside her. Alastor sat a foot away from his wife, his fingers laced in his lap. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and waited for her to get all her emotions out before speaking.

"I was wondering when you would tell me about your child."

Tina's head shot up. "You knew?"

"In part." He twiddled his thumbs. "Right before I…eliminated that pig agent of yours, he mentioned that you'd had a child by Ethan and that you'd disposed of it. Of course, I silenced him before I could get all the details."

Her jaw dropped. "But…that was last Valentine's Day. Why didn't ya say anythin'?"

"I figured it was a delicate matter that you would confess to me in your own time. What I cannot understand, however, is why it took you so long." Alastor turned to her, his mouth as close to a straight line as she'd ever seen it. "Did I not make it clear that your sins don't matter to me? And even if this one did, why would you care if I judged you?"

"I don't know. I guess…" She swept her hair out of her face. "Same reason ya didn't tell me what was in the basement all that time.

He tilted his head. "I fail to see how this compares to my organ collection and torture chamber."

"Okay, so it's not as bad." Tina took fistfuls of her hair. "What I mean is ya didn't tell me 'bout it cuz ya didn't want me bein' scared of ya. And I didn't tell ya this cuz I didn't want ya…hatin' me."

She looked away from him. "Ya once said I didn't deserve to be damned. But I did. I just…didn't want that image ya had of me to go away. And ya said ya'd never hurt a child, so I knew ya wouldn't like it. And that's exactly what I've done."

"Oh, darling." Alastor wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "I could never hate you. We may not be passionately in love like most couples, but I could never hate you."

She peered up at him. "Even if I'm a proud, selfish person?"

He smirked. "You're not alone in that department."

Tina curled up against him and sobbed into his chest.

"I won't lie, dear," he said, stroking her hair. "You could've handled the situation differently, but I understand why you could not care for the child, given how you obtained it. Besides, what's done is done. There's no undoing it."

She sniffed. "Doesn't change the fact that I did it."

"No." He kissed the top of her head. "But at least you didn't consume the infant."

She couldn't help but crack a small smile at that. "You ever eaten a baby?"

"My victims were all of age, but let's not dwell on our sins and regrets."

Tina rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him. "What's somethin' you regret?"

His eyes held a faraway gaze. "That I can never see my mother again."

"Maybe that's another reason I didn't tell ya. You're always talkin' 'bout how wonderful your ma was. She never gave you up."

"And yet her son became a cannibal, so," he said with a shrug, "I suppose it doesn't always matter how good a parent you are."

Tina lowered her head. Seeing that his lightheartedness wasn't going to be enough to cheer her up, Alastor tried a different approach.

"Did you give your daughter a name?"

"Nancy," she muttered.

"Beautiful name."

"She was a beautiful baby," she said with a nod. "She would've been eight years old today. Just startin' second grade. Probably gettin' ready for some big game or recital or science fair. The other moms would be pressurin' me to bring brownies or cookies or somethin' domestic like that. And they'd be stupidly tryin' to set me up with one of their single male friends so I'm not raisin' a kid alone, but it wouldn't matter to me cuz it'd just be me and Nancy."

She wiped away the fresh tears. "It could've been beautiful. She could've been beautiful. But I…I killed her."

"You didn't kill her," Alastor said.

"I might as well have. If I'd kept her, I would've guaranteed her a good home. Even if I still died of breast cancer, my ma could've taken her in." She snuggled back into his chest. "Why didn't I give her to Ma? Why did I just leave her out in the cold?"

"Why, indeed." He shook his head with a tsk. "Unfortunately, it's too late for us to be asking that question." He took her chin and tilted it upwards. "But I'm glad you told me, darling. Now I know how to console you next time you turn to drink."

Tina smiled slightly. "Sometimes I think you're too good for me."

"Ha-ha! The man upstairs didn't seem to think so!" He booped her nose. "You hungry, dear? You passed out before dinner, so the venison I brought is still uncooked."

She gagged. "Too rich for me to stomach now. Can we order pizza?"

Alastor blinked. "Pizza?"

"Yeah. Do they deliver out to the bayou?"

He scrunched his nose in disgust. "You want a cheap amalgamation of dough, cheese and tomato sauce over my fresh, home-cooked venison?"

"It's my hangover cure. We can have the venison for dinner later."

Alastor snorted. "If that's what you wish, mon épouse. Don't expect me to partake in your," he gagged, "pizza."

"Thanks." Tina pushed away from him to get some space. "Just order me a Hawaiian with jalapeños."

Alastor's smile suddenly became more elated. "Why darling, I'm thrilled!" He clapped his hands together. "You're finally taking an interest in my diet!"

"Huh?"

"You said you wanted a Hawaiian on your pizza! Although I'm not sure why the ethnicity of the person should matter as there's virtually no difference in taste."

"Good Lord." Tina facepalmed. "Hawaiian pizza doesn't have actual Hawaiians on it, Al! It's just ham and pineapple!"

He cocked his head. "They put pineapple on pizza?"

"It sounds weird, but it's actually pretty good. I like mine with jalapeños for some spice."

"Hmm. Interesting." He rubbed his chin. "I might actually try a slice myself. Of course I'd prefer ham from a pig demon. Do any restaurants do that?"

"Hey, this pizza's mostly for me, remember?" Tina lightly punched his shoulder. "Tell ya what. If ya don't like it, I'll try some of your special food."

There was a twinkle in his eye. "Is that a sincere promise?"

Tina held out her glowing purple hand. "It's a deal."

They shook on it and Alastor ended up trying the spicy Hawaiian pizza when it arrived. Needless to say, Tina did not turn into a cannibal that day.

Alastor woke up feeling like he'd been shot in the head again. He groaned as he cradled his head.

"No more mixing liquor with tequila."

He sat up and realized he was in his bed in the penthouse suite. Husk and or Niffty must've carried him up here, like they always did when he got drunk. Then he looked down at himself and stiffened.

He was in his pajamas. He was pretty sure he'd been in his suit before he'd blacked out. But Niffty and Husk never changed him. He'd forbidden it. And he didn't know anyone else in the hotel with the magical abilities to effortlessly change his clothes. Unless Charlie had more power than she let on.

He shivered in panic at the thought of someone removing his clothes without his knowledge. Who would have the gall to do something so violating to him, the Radio Demon? Once he hunted them down, he was going to peel off their skin just as they'd peeled off his clothes!

"Oh, you're up! Hang on a sec."

The door shut before Alastor could see the person's face, but he knew the voice anywhere.

"Tina?"

What was Tina doing here? In his suite? While he'd been unconscious?

Alastor's ears fell flat and his face flushed once he put two and two together. No. Please, not her! Say she didn't see me…

The door opened again and Tina came in, wearing a nightgown and holding a glass of green liquid.

"Didn't know how to make your special hangover cure," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed, "but pickle juice should work just fine."

Alastor eyed her suspiciously as he took the glass. He had so many questions, but he wanted to relieve himself of this excruciating headache first. The pickle brine was pleasantly sour and refreshed his throat.

"How ya feelin'?" Tina asked.

He smacked his lips. "Hungry."

"Thought so." She stood up. "Be right back."

She left the room and shortly returned with a square cardboard box. "Charlie decided to give the kitchen staff a break for lunch and ordered pizza for everyone."

Alastor rubbed his temple. "The only pizza I eat is—"

"Spicy Hawaiian?" She opened the box, revealing half a pizza topped with ham, pineapple and jalapeños.

"You remembered," he said fondly.

"I'm the one who introduced it to ya." Tina sat down on the bed and put the box between them. "Turns out Charlie likes it too, but I made sure there was some left for ya."

Alastor licked his lips as he took a slice and folded it in half. "You know me so well, dear."

"Not well enough, apparently." She looked at him seriously. "Why didn't ya tell me ya had a drinkin' problem?"

"I don't have a drinking problem," he said before taking a bite.

"Al, when we were together, ya never took more than one or two glasses a day. What happened?"

He swallowed. "I suppose in the last few years I may have gone overboard once. Twice. Seven—"

She arched an eyebrow.

"—ty times?" He shook his head. "So I've had a few off days. Doesn't mean I have a problem."

"Take it from someone who knows, Al." Tina crossed her arms. "Ya have a problem."

"Why are you even here?" Alastor snapped. "Husk and Niffty are the ones who are supposed to handle me when I'm…inebriated."

"You were drunk."

"That's what I said." He chomped on his pizza. "A lousy job they did making sure you never saw me like this."

"Come on, Al, no need to act so gruff. You stood by me at my worst. Now we're even."

Alastor looked down at his pajamas and then back at her. His cheeks blushed as he gulped the last of the slice.

"Were…were you the one who," he said, pointing downwards, "t-took off my clothes?"

It was Tina's turn to blush. "Ya peed in your pants. I had to shower ya."

"You showered me?" Alastor pulled the covers over his body. "You saw me…naked?"

"What'd ya expect me to do? Leave ya passed out in your own piss?"

"That means…" He glanced down. "You saw my…?"

"Yes, I saw your dick, Al!" She rolled her eyes. "Yours wouldn't be the first I've seen."

His body shook as he brought his knees to his chest. "Only doctors and my mother have ever seen me naked."

"Oh, grow up!" She threw her arms in the air. "All I did was rinse ya off and put your jammies on! I didn't molest ya!"

His ears perked up. "Truly?"

She scoffed. "Al, I ain't that desperate! Besides, I'm your wife! I was bound to see ya naked at some point!"

Alastor blinked, his smile softening as he relaxed his legs. "You said it."

"Said what?"

"That you're my wife."

It took her a second to realize what he meant. All week, she'd been referring to herself as the Radio Demon's ex-wife, despite the technicality of them still being married. To hear her acknowledgment of the fact touched his heart.

Tina turned her flushed face away. "Don't read too much into it. I just felt like I owed ya for all the times ya helped me when I was drunk. And I promise, I didn't do anythin' more than what was necessary to keep ya from hurtin' yourself."

"Of course, of course." Alastor rubbed the back of his neck. "So, err, out of curiosity…"

She looked back at him. His face was redder than before.

"Not that it matters, but…" His gaze flicked downward. "What did you think of…?"

Tina wasn't sure how much further both of them could blush. Alastor wasn't what one might call a "normal" man, but it seemed he shared the general male insecurity about a certain part of his body. Sexual being or not, men were taught to be proud of it.

"I think," Tina said, puffing her cheeks, "ya have nothin' to be ashamed of."

"R-Really?" He beamed like a sheepish schoolboy. "You don't think it's too—?"

"I'll let ya in on a little secret." She held up a finger. "Women don't actually care what it looks like, so long as it does its job."

She crossed her legs and looked away. "Though in your case, ya'd be, uh, considered…well-formed."

Alastor raised the covers over his face. "That's…nice to hear."

Tina shook her head. "Can we get back on topic here? Or am I gonna have to ask what ya think of my tits?"

"Quite right." He lowered the comforter. "So other than you stripping me down against my will, is there anything else that happened I should know about?"

"Well." She bit her lip. "Ya did bring some of the lobby furniture to life."

"Yes." He nodded. "My magic tends to take on a mind of its own in times like that. Tell the Princess I'll restore everything once I've regained my strength."

"Yeah, she and Miss Vaggie are gonna wanna talk to ya 'bout this. You're not supposed to be takin' more than two drinks an hour."

He scoffed. "That Vagatha will find any excuse to get rid of me. Anything else?"

"Well, ya wouldn't stop singin'. And ya might've gotten a bit…" She twiddled her thumbs. "Clingy. Particularly with me."

Alastor's eyebrows sprang up. "I didn't…hurt you, did I?"

"No, but…ya did kinda scare me at one point."

He leaned forward. "What did I do? What did I say?"

She shrugged. "Just the usual drunken jargon. 'You're a cutie.' 'You're mine.' 'I'll take ya to my grave.'"

"Sweet Satan." Alastor facepalmed. "That's why I didn't want you seeing me like that."

"I know. Ya weren't in control. Ya said a lotta things ya didn't mean."

Which was why she didn't bring up his talk of babies. That was a whole other can of worms she didn't want opened at this time.

"All the same, I'm ashamed," Alastor muttered, dragging his hand down his face. "Normally I wouldn't care if someone was hurt in my anger, but had that been you…I couldn't live with myself."

"If it helps," Tina said, "ya backed off when I told ya to, so ya had some self-control."

He scratched his head. "My memory's still a blur, but did you transform at some point?"

She nodded. "Though I think ya were more lovestruck than scared."

He chuckled. "That sounds about right. I always did admire your demon form."

"If only it were enough to sober ya up. Would've saved me the trouble of washin' your puke off me."

Alastor stared at her. "So, you carried me up to my room, on the top floor, removed my clothes, washed me, put me in my pajamas, then carried me to bed, all while I was in a drunken stupor?"

"That's it." Tina made an X with her arms. "Nothin' freaky."

He tilted his head. "By yourself?"

"Well, Husk and Niffty helped to carry ya upstairs, but after that, pretty much."

The Radio Demon's eyes wandered over her, not recognizing the demoness before him. He was starting to understand what Husker had meant. Giving her gifts, waiting on her hand and foot, offering assistance with everything. All week, Alastor had been treating Tina like someone who needed taken care of. But that wasn't the case anymore.

How could he have been so blind? She ran her own business, she took in wayward souls, she had earned her own title. She didn't need someone coddling her like an untrained kitten. Perhaps that had been the case twenty years ago when he'd first discovered her, but she had grown so much since then.

Tina truly was a different woman. And yet, not entirely. She'd always been bold, independent, hard-shelled, yet soft-hearted. He had seen that potential in her from the beginning, had helped to nurture those qualities. Now that they had strengthened tenfold, he had nothing left to teach her.

This did not halt his determination to win her back. Not in the least. In fact, it only increased his admiration for her. But now he realized the approach he had to take.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For gettin' drunk?" Tina waved a hand. "I ain't exactly one to judge."

"No. I'm sorry for…the way I've been treating you."

She turned to him. "Al, there's nothin' wrong with the way ya've been treatin' me."

"But there is." Alastor crawled out from under the covers and onto his knees. "I've been trying so hard to please you, to show you that I'm still willing to take care of you. You used to depend on me for everything, and I expected that to still be the case. But Tina, you…"

He reached for her hand, but thought better of it. "You're the one taking care of me now. You don't…need me as much as you used to."

His ears drooped. "You were right. A lot has changed."

"Not everythin'." Tina looked down at her dangling feet. "I still…care about ya, Al."

Alastor's eyes widened as he leaned forward onto his palms.

"That doesn't mean," she said, holding up a hand, "I want us gettin' back together. But…I'm also tired of us havin' the same fight over and over again."

He recoiled in disappointment. "As am I."

"And now it's gotten to a point where it's affectin' the people around us. I mean look at us." She gestured between them. "Drownin' our sorrows in alcohol and drugs like a couple of pathetic washups."

"I didn't take any drugs."

Tina winced. "I smoked a cigarette this mornin'."

Alastor joined her at the edge of the bed. "You told me you quit smoking before you died. That's why I stopped smoking in the house."

"I know. I relapsed." She hung her head. "Guess you're not the only one who needs to get their shit together."

"I want to." He drew himself closer to her. "At least…I want to be able to spend time with you without it being painful. Whether you still love me or not, I…I miss you Tina. I miss talking with you. Really talking. We used to be so open with each other, but now…it feels like you're closing me off. No matter what I do or say, you keep pushing me away and I don't know why. I've made mistakes, I'll admit, but in this case…I don't know what I did to deserve this punishment from you. But if you'd simply tell me, I…I'll listen."

He daringly laid his hand over hers. "And I'll step back if you want me to. I'll do whatever you ask, if you'd only explain to me why."

His smile was gone. His pleading eyes were locked on hers. The static was almost nonexistent in his voice. Everything he said was genuine.

It took all of Tina's willpower not to burst into tears. She couldn't refuse him. He was too fragile to take another heartbreak. At the same time, however, she knew what would happen if she gave into her desires. She would throw her arms around him, they'd kiss, and then she'd mess things up all over again.

Now was not the time to rush in. The path to reconciliation didn't run that smoothly.

After a deep breath, Tina closed her free hand over his. "You're right. I've been takin' my own insecurities out on you, Al, and that's not fair. Truth is I…I miss spendin' time with ya too."

Alastor's smile returned. He leaned in with his lips puckered. She stopped them with her fingertips.

"But," she said steadily, "I'm not in a place where I want us actin' all lovey-dovey again."

He backed off with a pout. "It seems we're at an impasse then, darling."

"Which is why," Tina said, scooching back and retracting her hands, "I propose a truce."

His ears perked up. "You mean…another deal?"

There it was. The ultimate way to grab the Radio Demon's attention. If all other negotiations fail, strike a deal.

"The Princess and Miss Vaggie may be opposed to it," Tina said, placing her interlaced hands in her lap, "but I ain't."

Alastor cocked his head. "If I recall correctly, you forbade me from making deals with your employees."

"Only cuz they don't know ya like I do." She flashed a smile. "And that ya always manage to find a loophole."

Any lesser demon with brains would only go this route as a last resort. But Tina was no lesser demon. Not like when she'd first met Alastor. She was a dealmaker herself. He smirked at her confident air.

"So, the student has become the master, hmm?" He folded his arms. "What do you propose then, my dear?"

She squared her shoulders. "We stop fightin'. At least in public. It'll be like our first deal, except without the romantic façade. We'll act like colleagues. Friends, at best. Meanin' no flirtin'," she said, listing off her fingers, "no sensual touches, no alludin' to us gettin' back together in any way. Just two adults workin' towards a common goal. No strings attached."

"Mmm-hmm." Alastor rubbed his chin. "Go on."

"In return, I will not yell at ya, argue with ya—unless you're in the wrong—kick ya, punch ya, claw ya, or hurt ya in any way."

"Oh but I like it when you do all that. It not so much hurts me as much as it excites me."

She rolled her eyes. "Even so, it'll be less disruptive to the guests if we're not at each other's throats. I don't think they get your whole masochistic kink."

"Eh." He made a so-so sign. "Not so much a kink as it is pleasure in seeing you take charge. I mean it. You are adorable when you're angry."

Tina scowled and crossed her arms.

"What? It's an objective fact."

She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Let's just agree not to make a scene in front of the others. Should either of us fail to uphold our end of the bargain, the deal is off, and it's back to fightin'. Sound fair?"

"Hmm." He tapped his chin. "You've just described what our public life will be like. What about our private life?"

Tina bit her lip. "I, uh, hadn't thought about that."

"Might I make a suggestion?" He raised a finger. "Since we can't fight in public, what say we allow ourselves to take our anger out on each other in private? That way you can still hit me so long as no one's watching!"

She raised an eyebrow at his excited tone. "And I thought the cannibalism was the weirdest thing about ya."

"But it works out, doesn't it?" He pointed between them. "You get to release all your pent-up frustration without getting others invested in our affairs, and I get to see you at your loveliest!"

She hung her head back with a groan. "If ya didn't have the sex drive of a neutered dog, I'd think ya have ulterior motives here. But I suppose you're gonna gimme a lotta reasons to wanna hit ya anyway, so fine. Just try not to be too weird about it, or it'll feel like you're gettin' more outta this than I am."

"Fair enough." Alastor leaned back onto his palms. "Can we still have conversations like this in private?"

"Whatever. Just no more flirtin' or fondlin'. Period. We good?"

"One more condition."

Tina sighed. "What?"

"I believe we've ignored the status of our marriage for far too long. A decision must be made." He turned to her with a wide smile and serious eyes. "If by the end of this thirty-day trial you have with Charlie, you find it in your heart to love me again, all you have to do is kiss me."

She opened her mouth to speak.

"Let me finish. If you kiss me—that is if you press your lips to mine willingly—before the thirty-day trial ends on February the 21st, you will move back into the manor with me. I won't deter you from your career, but I want you to be my wife again. Living with me, as you did before."

Tina gulped. "And…if I don't kiss ya?"

Alastor clenched his claws. "Then I will leave you alone."

Her jaw dropped.

"I cannot promise you a divorce. We were bonded by Lucifer. It is unbreakable. But I will promise to leave you to your own devices, once and for all. If your wish is to continue with the hotel, I will hand Charlie my letter of resignation."

"Hold on. Is that fair to the Princess?"

"Once you have everyone here settled, I hardly think she'll need my assistance anymore. And if you still want me gone, so be it."

Tina couldn't believe what she was hearing. Alastor had a talent for twisting deals so that they were in his favor. But he had a lot riding on this wager.

If he won, and Tina gave in, he'd finally have her back. But if he lost, he would have no choice but to never see her again. It benefited Tina more than him, because the only way he would win was if she made the choice to kiss him. But how could he even sway her in that direction with this new ban on romantic interactions?

One look in his eyes and she knew why he was doing this. He was a desperate man that had exhausted all other options.

"Ya sure that's what ya want?"

He nodded. "My final offer, dear. Take it or leave it."

She couldn't spot any loopholes. Everything seemed to be in her favor. He was finally giving her an out.

"Alright then, Mr. Radio Demon." She extended her hand. "Ya've got yourself a deal."

The room darkened, Tina's glowing purple hand illuminating both their faces. Purple musical notes swirled from her hand and around her face, her hair billowing in the wind. Alastor's eyes widened, his tail wagging as he watched this gorgeous display of power. He felt as if he might faint from the elation protruding in his chest.

He hadn't thought it possible for her to be any more beautiful. But he'd been proven wrong before.

"Well?" Tina said impatiently.

Alastor's lips stretched over his gums as he shook her hand. "Pleasure doing business with you, Songbat."

The musical notes locked their hands in a chain before disappearing entirely.

"And may I say, as one dealmaker to another," he said, bending down to examine her hand, "your handshake has become much more impressive."

Tina smirked as she slid her hand out of his grasp. "Ya think I just have my employees sign contracts? Please, like I can put that much trust in demons I barely know."

He seethed through his teeth. "This deal isn't going to be easy."

She tilted her head. "What makes ya say that?"

Alastor's eyelids drooped into a half-lidded gaze. "After all these years, you never cease to amaze me mon a—Tina."

I remembered something in the streams about Alastor liking pineapple on pizza (people tend to think that's weird for some reason but I actually love Hawaiian pizza). I thought it'd be cute if Tina was the one who got him into it.