HOUR SEVEN: SERIOUSLY

"Everybody out! Everybody out!" I screamed as I ran down the hall. I jumped over furniture and ducked under burning support beams as I booked it towards the entrance. "All hope is lost! Abandon the-"

"Oh, no you don't!"

Before I could reach the doors, Master Hand grabbed me by my hood and pulled me back. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked as I coughed from the drag.

"I'm- I'm escaping! And you should, too!" I told him as I tried to pull my hood from his grip. I could tell the glove was way stronger than me and that my tugging did nothing, but I tugged nonetheless. "The mansion is burning down, over half of the residents are evil now, I haven't uploaded a chapter in a year; there's no hope! We have to leave while we still can!"

Master Hand didn't find this excuse to be a good one. "So, you're giving up?" he asked me, knowing what the answer was.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, when you put it that way you make me sound less like a hero,"

"A HERO?!" he yelled at me. He let go of my hood and motioned to all the insanity. "This! This is all your fault!"

"You don't have to rub it in,"

"OH, YES I DO! This is your fault! I brought you here to fix things and what do you do? Create melodrama! Have Smashers suffer! Freaking write this thing up so that it'll end with the end of the world because OF COURSE YOU DID THAT!"

"Yeah, of course I did. This is a fanfiction. It would be weird if I didn't end this thing with the apocalypse. If I ended this thing with anything less, would this really count as a fanfiction?"

Master Hand was about to blow a fuse at this point. "WHY DON'T YOU EVER TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY?!"

"Listen, you do not want me to take things seriously."

"YES I DO!"

"No, you don't,"

"YES I F###ING DO!"

I shrugged. "Alright. You asked for it."

I shoved him aside and began walking down the hall and towards the elevator. I push a button and the thing open to show it was empty. "Where- where did the elevator go? What happened to the folks running the elevator?"

Master Hand did his version of rolling his eyes. "They're probably dead,"

"Now now now! Not dead! Evil-fied!" I mockingly corrected him as I started taking the stairs.

HOUR EIGHT AND A HALF: FINALLY ON THE ROOF

Okay, so it took me an hour and a half to get to the roof. Like, legit an hour and a half. I never realized how big I made the place until I got in the stairway. It took freaking forever to go up all those stories. And it didn't help that ever few steps I ran into a evil Smasher or a Smasher that I gave a side plot to. Do you remember me making Shulk a YouTuber? Yeah, me nether, until he ran passed me with a GoPro in his mouth. At least it wasn't a selfie stick.

When I finally reached the roof I was ready to pass out. I checked my phone and it turned out I went up so many steps that I hatched three eggs on Pokemon Go. Yes, I still play Pokemon Go. If this is what makes you question me, you really need to reevaluate your life.

I stared out to the horizon. I looked at my own madness. Smashers were fighting evil friends, random video game characters were freaking out, fire was getting everywhere; this was my fault. All of it.

Have I ever told you how I originally planned to finish this fic? It was originally going to finish within 20 to 25 chapters with a dance party. I know, how lame. I literally originally planned to finish this thing like a Shrek movie. Those were simpler times. I was going to have Young Link show up and everyone throw a party in celebration of their new chef, or something like that. Remember when this story was only about gaming and food? God, that was a long time ago.

I made eye contact with HMS. I couldn't tell where he was standing, his minions were running around so much it was hard to tell from high up, but I could tell he was happy to see me. I smiled back.

I know what I must do.

HMS snaps his fingers. A evil Palutena shot me.

TIME IS NOW AN ILLUSION: THE WHITE ROOM

I wake up on a black platform. There is nothing but white and black around me. I stand up and notice all around the platform is a bottomless drop.

I began screaming. "I TRY TO BE SERIOUS FOR ONE FREAKING SECOND AND YOU TELEPORT ME TO THE PICTOCHAT STAGE?"