Title Song: "The Reason" by Hoobastank

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS ACEPHOBIA!

When Tina woke in Alastor's bed the next morning, she was alone. This was no surprise, as he was often up before her. She could hear him humming through the door, the meaty smell suggesting he was making breakfast.

She opened the door, and sure enough, there was Alastor, at the stove, wearing an apron over his pajamas, his hair pulled back into a ponytail. Tina leaned against the doorframe and watched him, a smile gracing her lips.

Unlike her husband, she'd never considered herself a morning person. Yet while living with him, she'd come to like waking up to a homecooked breakfast. She'd forgotten just how much she liked it.

It helped that she was married to a gourmet chef.

Alastor spotted her out of the corner of his eye. "Ah, you're up! Be a dear and set the table for us, would you? I'm just about finished."

As Tina got plates from the cupboard, she saw that he was frying eggs, and flipping sausage patties with melted cheese. "What ya making?"

"Rosemary called it a breakfast sandwich." He pointed to two croissants on the counter, sliced in half. "Of course, she wanted me to use veggie sausage. How does one even make sausage out of vegetables? That doesn't make any sense."

Tina set the plates on the dining table. "That's a bit more modern than what ya usually make."

"Yes, well," he said with a shrug, "the old recipes weren't working, so I thought I'd try something different."

"You?" She snorted. "Try something different?"

"I may be old-fashioned, but I'm not that opposed to change. I took a chance marrying you, didn't I?"

"I guess." She chuckled as she went to fetch mugs. "Remember that time ya listened to my 80's tapes? And I came home to ya rockin' out to Michael Jackson?"

"That fellow had some talent. Not to mention the other artists you've introduced me to. Like that Elvis, Sinatra, and King."

"That's Queen, Al."

He raised an eyebrow. "But aren't all the singers male?"

"So? The King title was already taken by Elvis."

When the croissant sandwiches were finished, Alastor scooped them onto their plates. "If you don't like it, blame Rosemary for giving me the recipe. Coffee?"

"Ya know I can't start my day without it." Tina sat down while he conjured up a coffeepot. "Speakin' of Rosemary, should we be helpin' her and the others in the kitchen?"

"The ladies have the menu," Alastor said as he filled both their mugs. "They can manage."

"Since when do ya get along so well with the kitchen staff?"

"I've been giving them pointers on how to cook properly."He put down the pitcher and took the seat across from her. "In return, I've asked them for a few modern recipes that you might be familiar with."

She shook her head. "You'd really try anything to win me over."

"Is it working?"

Before she answered, she took a bite of her sandwich. "Mmm. Okay, you deserve points for this."

Curios, Alastor bit into his own sandwich. He glanced to the side as he chewed in contemplation.

"Hmm." He swallowed. "I see the appeal. The sausage juices complement the crunchy exterior of the croissant, and the moistness of the egg."

"Never just 'yummy' with you, is it?"

They shared a laugh. Then Alastor set down his sandwich as his smile shrank into something more serious.

"I hate to spoil the mood, dear," he said, folding his hands on the table, "as this scene is quite delightful, but we must discuss last night's events."

Tina focused her gaze on her food.

"I do not regret what happened, aside from my little…episode." He glanced at her neck, thankful that he hadn't left any bruises. "But if you feel it was another mistake of yours, I'd rather you tell me now and not leave me with any false hopes."

With her appetite gone, she put down her sandwich. "We…said a lot of things last night. Things we've been keeping in. And got so frustrated not sayin' those things that…we almost lost it. But I think it's clear that…"

She took a deep breath. "I'm not as over you as I thought."

Alastor perked up. "So, our deal isn't off?"

"Oh, you're not completely off the hook. You still said, 'I love you,' tricked me into a romantic dinner, and asked me to spend the night after ya promised no more wooing. So," she said as she stood, "a punishment is in order."

He cocked his head. "What sort of punish—AH!"

She'd lunged forward and flicked his forehead. It stung much more with her claws.

"There." Tina sat back down. "Now we're even."

Alastor stared at her incredulously as he rubbed his forehead. "Not that I'm ungrateful for the light punishment, chère, but that doesn't quite answer my question. Is our deal still on, or not?"

Tina had been considering the question since yesterday. While it would be easy just to get back to fighting with him, she found she didn't want that. Hiding her feelings hadn't helped either.

But last night, when the two of them had shown their ugly side, and voiced their insecurities, she had felt the greatest sense of relief. Much of that fear and anger had been released, allowing her to make sense of the other emotions stirring within her heart.

"I think…the deal's still on."

Alastor's grin widened. "Does that mean…you might still come back to me?"

He reached for her hand. She pulled away, and the corners of his mouth fell with dread.

She couldn't still be hesitant, could she? Not after the way she'd clung to him in his most hideous form. Not after he'd thrown his pride out the window and wept in front of her. Not after spending half the night in his arms again.

"We've made progress," Tina muttered, "but I can't just jump back into this when there's still a lot for me to figure out." She met his gaze. "I know I wasn't patient with you when you asked, but do you think you can be patient with me?"

Sighing, Alastor laced his fingers together. "I'm not going anywhere, mon amour. Take as long as you need."

She hated seeing him so disappointed. "Hey, we've got like two weeks until the end of my trial. Plenty of time for me to change my mind and kiss ya."

And his elated grin was back.

"But," she said, holding up a finger, "any more crazy romantic schemes before I'm ready, and I'll whoop your ass. I mean it."

"How do you know I won't enjoy that sort of punishment?"

"Want me to climb over this table?"

Laughing, he raised his glass. "Good to have the old you back, dear."

When Tina left the penthouse, she asked Alastor not to mention last night's events to anyone else, not even in group therapy. He agreed because he didn't think it anyone else's business either. Discretion was another one of his admirable qualities.

As she got in the elevator, she hoped everyone would be down for breakfast. Her story would be that she'd missed her alarm and slept in.

But when the elevator doors opened on the first floor, Angel was just coming out of his room. He turned, raised a questioning eyebrow at Tina, then gasped.

"You fucking slut!"

"Hush!" She flailed her hands as she raced towards him. "It's not what you think!"

"Oh, ho, I think it is!" One finger pointed at the elevator, another at Tina's room across the hall, a third at her. "Your room is right here on the first floor, you had a date with Smiles last night, so why else would you be comin' off the elevator at this hour unless you were just comin' from his room on the top floor?"

"We didn't—"

"You go, girl!" His fourth hand slapped her back. "Suppose this means I owe Niffty fifty bucks, but hey, as long as someone's gettin' action in this dump, I ain't complaining."

"Just let me explain… Wait. What's this about ya owin' Niffty fifty bucks?"

"Never mind that. So, give the deets, hon." Angel draped an arm over her and whispered, "He as much an animal in bed as he looks? His dick all big and juicy, or small but serviceable? Which one of you was on top? Gotta be you, right? Did ya peg him?"

"Stop talkin' before I throw up in your fake boobs." Tina pushed him away. "Nothing happened."

"No use denyin' it, doll. You didn't spend the night at your hubby's place for nothing, did ya?"

"We…" She glanced around and lowered her voice. "Yes, we spent the night together, but all we did was share a bed. Clothes on, no sex. We didn't even kiss."

He scoffed. "Likely story."

"It's true. Angel, you're the sex expert, do I look like a woman who just had sex last night?"

"You could've cleaned yourself up."

"Fine, don't believe me. But we didn't do anything, so whatever bet you've set up with Niffty, ya haven't lost anything."

Angel frowned. "You've gotta be kiddin' me. You're tellin' me after I dolled ya up for a romantic dinner with Smiles, that apparently was so romantic that ya spent the night with him, you two still haven't boned?"

"No. And frankly, I'm glad about it." She looked down at her feet. "It's…not the time for us. Even if I wanted to, it wouldn't've been right. But…" She gave a small smile. "It was…kind of nice. Lyin' next to him again."

Despite the two of them turning into high-strung monsters before breaking down into tears, it had been the most pleasant night she'd slept through in years.

Angel scrutinized her face. "Damn. You really didn't bone him, did ya?"

"How can ya tell?"

He bent to her level. "You look happy, but not too happy."

"Anyway, don't tell anyone about this, okay?"

"What? That you spent a sexless night of romance with your husband?" Angel rolled his eyes. "Come on, babe, I've got juicier scoops to share than that."

After breakfast, Angel Dust approached Dr. Cougarton. "Hey, Doc. Got a minute? I need a favor."

Dr. Cougarton held up a furry finger. "Meet me in my room in thirty minutes. I need to digest my food first."

Angel furrowed his brow. "Don't see what that has to with anything, but okay."

Thirty minutes later, Angel knocked on the psychiatrist's door. She called for him to enter.

"So anyway, Doc," the spider said as he shut the door behind him. "What I wanted to ask ya was—why are you taking your clothes off?"

Cougarton had her blouse over her head, revealing her lacey black bra. "Oh, my apologies. Would you prefer to take them off for me?"

While this wasn't the first time the former sex worker had seen a lady strip, he was completely thrown off by Cougarton's behavior.

"Uh, I don't know if I've made this clear, Doc, but I don't swing your way."

"I'm aware." She tossed her blouse onto her bed. "But I understand some of your clients were female."

"Yeah, but…" Angel put up four hands and backed away. "I'm off the biz, so…keep your shirt off if you're comfortable—I've seen sluttier—but go no further, okay?"

Cougarton tilted her head. "Weren't you planning to release your sexual frustrations on a neutral party, now that you're no longer accepting clients?"

"What? No!"

"Oh, but I don't mind. Sexual intercourse without emotional involvement can be stimulating for the senses."

"Normally I'd agree with ya on that, but that's not it." Angel took a calming breath. "I wanted your help with Deer Boy and Bat Girl."

"I'm assuming you're referring to the Radio Demon and Miss Twinkle." Cougarton sat in an armchair and gestured to the couch beside her. "What's the problem?"

"I thought you'd know." Angel plopped onto the couch. "You're Tina's shrink. Has she ever spilled on why she and Smiles broke up?"

"Just because Miss Twinkle hired me as the club's psychiatrist, doesn't mean she confides in me herself. She doesn't quite trust me."

Angel glanced at her still exposed bra. "It's a mystery why."

"Although from what I've witnessed from their interactions," Cougarton said, without any acknowledgement of his comment, "my guess is that there is some unresolved tension that developed around the time they broke up. I do not know what, but their differing attachment styles make it nearly impossible for them to resolve it."

"Spare me the textbook mumbo jumbo." He waved a hand. "There any way we can get them back together?"

"Why get involved?"

"Cuz Tina did a favor for me, and I know she still wants Smiles, even if she won't admit it. Plus, I've got this bet going with Niffty, and neither of us may win if these lovebirds don't make up."

"I see." Cougarton rubbed her chin. "And you think mending this relationship will fill the void of being without one yourself?"

The spider crossed his four arms. "You're not here to psychoanalyze me, you're here to psychoanalyze Al and Tina."

"I don't see how it'll do much good. For me to get involved without their permission would be most unprofessional."

He gestured to her half-naked body. "And this is professional?"

"You make a fair argument." Cougarton stared up at the ceiling. "I suppose I could make a last-minute change to today's group therapy topic. Miss Vagatha wanted to discuss the Seven Deadly Sins."

"Seriously?" He threw up his arms. "We've all been in Hell long enough to know what the Seven Deadly Sins are. Ozzie the Lust Man swings by Valentino's every other Tuesday. And let me tell ya." He pointed downward. "He's the embodiment of lust for a reason."

"The Princess might be open to the change."

"Oh, yeah." He snapped his fingers. "Tell her what the plan is and she'll be all for it. She's been on Team Talastor from the beginning."

Cougarton cocked her head. "Team Talastor?"

"What? You think 'Team Alina' sounds better?"

At group therapy that afternoon, Tina took the chair beside Angel Dust.

"Hey, check it out." He pointed across the room.

The new scientific guest, Baxter, had finally decided to make an appearance at therapy. So did Rosemary. The angler fish demon had a notebook open in his lap and was muttering something. Rosemary leaned forward, brushing her leafy hair behind her ear as she listened.

"Never thought I'd see those two get along," Tina said. "What do ya suppose that's all about?"

"They're either flirting," Angel whispered, "or making plans for a nuclear bomb."

"Don't be ridiculous." Tina scoffed. "Rosemary would never use nuclear energy. Harmful for the environment."

"What kinda bomb isn't harmful for the environment?"

"Is this seat taken?"

Tina turned to Alastor, a light blush highlighting her cheeks. His hands were on the chair to her right.

Carrie Canary came up behind him and cleared her throat. "A-Actually, M-Miss Twinkle and I were g-gonna—"

"It's okay, Carrie," Tina said. "He can sit next to me if he wants to."

Carrie's eyes widened. "B-B-But—"

"Oh, look!" Angel pointed. "An open seat right next to Dr. Cougarton! Why don't you go sit there, Karen?"

"Carrie."

"I know what I said." The spider stretched out an arm to push her away. "Fly away, little birdie."

As Alastor sat down, his eyes locked onto Tina's. "How are you this afternoon?"

She pulled on her skirt. "Good. You?"

"Oh, splendid," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Angel looked between the awkward couple. They'd acted the same way during lunch, like a couple of teenagers who'd just shared their first kiss. Which seemed silly to Angel, if he was to trust Tina's account of the whole evening.

He really hoped his plan with Dr. Cougarton would help these lovesick loonies get their shit together.

"Hi, everyone!" Charlie greeted as she and Vaggie went up to the chalkboard. "I see we've got some new faces today! Baxter, Rosemary, would you like to introduce yourselves?"

"You just did it for us," Baxter muttered, not looking up from his notebook.

"Err, right. Anyway, stand up and hold hands for our opening affirmations!"

Despite them both wearing gloves, Tina's and Alastor's faces reddened the moment their hands touched. Their shy voices were muffled by the rest of the group.

"Okay," Charlie said once everyone retook their seats. "So, we had a last-minute change in today's topic—"

"What?" Vaggie said. "When were you gonna tell me this?"

"Sorry, I didn't have the time. Anyway, as per Dr. Cougarton's suggestion, today we're going to talk about—"

"Hold it." Angel raised a hand. "Before Doc Kitty here tries to shrink our heads, can I say something?"

Vaggie groaned. "We don't have time for your lewd comments, Angel."

"No, no, believe it or not, this is serious. I have an announcement to make."

Charlie and Vaggie glanced at each other.

"This is meant to be a safe space for open discussion," the Princess said.

"Fine." Vaggie sighed. "But if I find it inappropriate in any way, I'm taping your mouth for the rest of the session."

"And you'll be put in a time-out," Charlie added.

"Do I look four to you?" Angel rolled his eyes. "Anyway, what I wanted to say is that as of yesterday, I am no longer in the porn business."

There was a collective gasp from everyone, except Tina and Dr. Cougarton, who already knew.

"You're serious?" Vaggie asked incredulously.

"Weren't you listening, toots? My contract's caput. I decided I've had enough of Valentino's bullshit, and handed in my resignation without notice."

Angel winked at Tina to show that he wasn't completely ignoring her role in this.

The Dicto twins clapped.

"Sod Val!" said Dana.

"You go, mate!" said Dinah.

"This is wonderful, Angel!" Charlie beamed. "Does this mean you're really gonna take a shot at redemption?"

"Eh." The spider shrugged. "Don't know about all that Heaven bullshit, and I have no idea what I'm gonna do now that I'm not suckin' everyone's dicks, but whatever I do, I'm gonna do it with self-respect. And without that abusive asshole pullin' my strings."

Everyone, even Alastor and Vaggie, applauded. Baxter didn't at first, as he was scribbling in his notebook. Until Rosemary nudged him to join in.

"Thank you for sharing this terrific news, Angel," Charlie said as she flipped the chalkboard. "Oddly enough, your story fits today's topic perfectly."

On the board was a chart divided into three columns. The title at the top read: ATTACHMENT STYLES.

"Dr. Cougarton," Charlie said, stepping aside, "if you will."

"Thank you, Your Highness." The psychiatrist stood and pointed to the board. "There are a lot of psychological factors which drive our actions through life, sometimes leading to less than moral actions. One of these factors is our attachment style, particularly in how we approach relationships. Not just romantic relationships, but platonic, and familial."

Tina subtly scooted her chair an inch from Alastor. Seeing this, he scooted two inches towards her.

"What do our relationships have to do with our sins?" Rosemary asked.

"Excellent question," Dr. Cougarton said. "You see, unsteady, or unhealthy relationships can lead one to make questionable decisions in order to maintain those relationships. And people form relationships based on their attachment styles, which typically develop during childhood. Now, there are three types of attachment styles."

She picked up the piece of chalk and pointed to the first column, making short-hand notes as she spoke. "First, there is secure attachment, which is the most ideal attachment. This is when a person feels comfortable with intimacy and tends to be the most satisfied in their relationships. For example, let's take the Princess and her partner over here."

Charlie and Vaggie tensed as they were suddenly put on the spot.

"They may not always agree on certain points," Dr. Cougarton said, "but in their secure attachment to each other, they effortlessly manage to find a middle-ground, supporting each other in their endeavors, with neither one dominating over the other. This is especially impressive, considering the Princess's higher social status."

Vaggie and Charlie both blushed, but couldn't hide their smiles.

"Conflicts are more easily resolved in a secure attachment," the psychiatrist continued. "Therefore, issues such as abuse and infidelity are least likely to arise, and those with secure attachments to their loved ones are least likely to end up in Hell."

Proxy raised her hand. "If Vaggie has a secure attachment, why is she still in Hell?"

Vaggie narrowed her eyes at the racoon, but didn't say anything.

"Because one doesn't necessarily stick to one attachment style all their lives," Dr. Cougarton explained. "One can start with an insecure attachment style, and then later develop into a secure one. Of course, I do not have enough information on Vagatha's human life to determine her attachment style then, but it must have changed sometime before, or during her relationship with the Princess. Am I correct?"

Vaggie still looked uncomfortable, but nodded.

"Anyway," Dr. Cougarton said, pointing to the second column, "next up is anxious attachment. This is when one feels generally worried that they are too good, or not good enough for the person they're attached to. As a result, they can come off as clingy, pushy, or needy."

Alastor, only vaguely listening, slid his hand onto Tina's knee.

"Anxious attachment stems from a fear of abandonment. While everyone feels some sort of anxiety in their relationship, if this is not kept in check, a person can become codependent on their loved one, and in their efforts to keep them close, can end up driving their loved one away from lack of space."

Noticing Alastor's hand on her knee, Tina nudged it off.

"Finally, there is avoidant attachment," Dr. Cougarton said, pointing to the third column, "in which a person attempts to avoid attachment all together. If they do meet someone special, they tend to keep that person at a distance. This is out of a fear of intimacy, that if they get too attached, they will be hurt when their partner does leave them. Avoidant people will get into mood swings, struggle to keep their emotions in check, and get overwhelmed quite easily, making them appear cold, passive, or standoffish. This can lead to them forming shallow relationships."

"You'd know all about that," Alastor said, "wouldn't you, Angel?"

"Hey!" The spider huffed. "I may not have a steady partner like you, but I at least got friends."

"And Mr. Dust should be applauded for recognizing his unhealthy attachment to his boss," Dr. Cougarton said, "and breaking from it. As I said, attachment styles can grow and change over time. Anxious or avoidant styles can develop after a person suffers a betrayal from a parent, a partner, or a friend. An anxious person, as a result, will want to cling to the next person that comes along to prevent another betrayal, while an avoidant person will try not to become too close to anyone else as a means of safety."

"Does that mean," Dinah asked, raising her hand, "if an anxious or avoidant attachment can become secure, a secure attachment could also become anxious or avoidant?"

"It's possible," Dr. Cougarton said. "A single mishap could alter the course of an otherwise healthy marriage, if the parties involved do not approach their relationship openly and honestly."

All heads slowly turned towards Alastor and Tina.

"What?" Tina asked. "What's everyone starin' at us for?"

"Oh." Vaggie glanced at Charlie. "That's why you didn't wanna run this by me."

Charlie laughed awkwardly. "I know you didn't want me getting involved, but…you have to admit this was a pretty good plan."

Vaggie shook her head. "If we're really securely attached, you and I are having a serious talk after this."

"Um, excuse me." Alastor raised a finger. "Is there something we're missing here?"

Angel hung back his head and groaned. "Fucking Christ, if no one else is gonna say it, I will." He pointed at Alastor, then Tina. "Anxious, avoidant. Smiles is clingy as fuck, Bat Girl has intimacy issues, and they both suck at communication. Did I get that right, Doc?"

"Aw, Angel!" Charlie put a hand over her heart. "You do pay attention!"

"Now hold on one second!" Tina stood. "This is supposed to be group therapy, not couples therapy! What right do y'all have gangin' up on us like this?"

"I agree with you, darling." Alastor wrapped his arm around her middle. "We don't deserve this unfair treatment."

"Not the time nor place, Al," she muttered as she shoved his hand off and sat back down.

He masked the hurt behind his smile. "And while we're on the subject of unhealthy attachment, why don't we discuss everyone else's inability to form one?"

"Hey!" Vaggie said.

"Oh, you and the Princess excluded, of course," Alastor said with a slight bow.

"We attach ourselves to others just fine!" Dana said.

Dinah leaned away from her sister. "Err, I don't think our relationship is the best model, Dana."

"Incestuous activities aside," Alastor said, scrunching his nose, "at least you two are committed to each other, whereas the not-so-itsy-bitsy spider here prefers to let strangers use him for money, and our dear old doctor preys on insecure patients to satisfy her carnal appetites."

Angel scowled, while Dr. Cougarton inhaled sharply.

"Al," Charlie said, holding up her hands, "maybe tone back the criticism a little."

"I am simply trying to understand," Alastor said, "why these adulterers feel the need to use others to satisfy an itch they can do very well to satisfy on their own."

"Is that what you do, Mr. Alastor?" Dr. Cougarton asked.

"That is none of your business!"

"And what we do is none of yours," Angel said. "We ain't all self-righteous castrated stiffs."

"I am not—"

"Ignore 'em, Al." Tina laid a hand on his shoulder. "Angel, Cougarton, lay off."

"Just sayin' he ain't one to judge," Angel said. "Sure, we're sluts, but at least our diet was natural."

Alastor narrowed his eyes. "It is natural for a man to eat."

The spider placed four hands on his hips. "And our needs are just as natural."

"What needs?" Alastor threw up his arms. "Eating is a need. Drinking is a need. Sleeping is a need. Sexual relations are not a need!"

"He has a point," Proxy said. "It's not like you'll die from not having sex. Hell, even refusing to masturbate won't kill you."

"Thank you!" Alastor held out his palms towards the racoon. "Finally, someone here who speaks sense!" He turned to his wife. "No offense, darling."

Tina shrank in her seat. "Can we change the subject, please?"

But Alastor was still going off on the spider. "It's because of lustful lunatics like you and the doctor that this place is crawling with sinners! You all sleep around because a meaningful, committed relationship is too much for you to handle!"

"Now see here!" Vaggie interjected. "This is getting out of hand!"

"Oh, ho, ho!" Angel crossed his arms. "You're all about chastity and commitment, huh? What, ya such a prude that ya think sleepin' with your own wife is adultery too?"

All eyes were on Tina.

"Angel!" she cried.

"Oopsie." Angel brought his fingertips to his mouth. "Sorry, my bad."

He didn't look the least bit sorry.

Alastor gritted his teeth. "You told him?"

Tina bit her lip. "It…slipped out?"

He leaned in and lowered his voice. "I thought we were to take that secret to our second graves."

"I was mad, okay?" she whispered. "I had to vent to someone, and he's actually given me some good advice about—"

"But to the likes of him?" Static buzzed as he seethed. "You discussed our bedroom habits with a whore?"

Angel snorted. "More like what bedroom habits?"

"Shut up!" Alastor and Tina said simultaneously.

"What? Ain't this what group therapy's all about? Getting all your problems out in the open?"

Tina scowled at him. "I told you that in confidence."

"Wait." Charlie pointed between Alastor and Tina. "You two have never—?"

"Yes!" Alastor stood with his hands raised. "Alright? I admit it! I, a married, hundred-twenty-year-old man, am a virgin! There. Are you satisfied?"

Even Vaggie was surprised. "You didn't…sleep with her? Not even once?"

"I know, right?" Alastor gestured towards his wife. "She's beautiful, talented, and downright hardheaded. What man wouldn't want to take her to bed? Me, apparently! So there, now you all know why she eventually got sick of me and left! Because I couldn't perform my husbandly duty! You all got that? It was my fault she left!"

The atmosphere shifted into a mixture of static and Vodou symbols. Everyone had been around the Radio Demon long enough to recognized the signs that he was about to explode.

"Al," Tina said firmly, grabbing his arm. "I know I was impatient, but that's not why—"

"Stop." Alastor yanked himself out of her grasp. "You know it's true, Tina. I'm the problem. I've always been the problem. I knew what you wanted from me, and by the time I was finally willing to do it, it was too late. The only reason you're not with me now is because I drove you away."

"It's not too late to fix it, you know?" Angel said.

"That's true," Dr. Cougarton said. "If you're having trouble with your libido, there are pills for that."

"Everyone, please." Tina made an X with her arms. "I know y'all are tryin' to help, but you're just makin' it worse."

"Yeah." Proxy stood and bravely approached the Radio Demon. "The man just admitted he's ace, and all you can think to say is that he's something that needs to be 'fixed.'"

Silence fell over the room as the static dissipated.

"What did you just call me?" Alastor asked.

"Ace," Proxy repeated. "Short for asexual?"

He tilted his head. "A sexual…what?"

"One word." She held up two fingers and pressed them together. "Asexual. You know, someone who's not into sex? That's what you are, right?"

Alastor blinked. Everyone else shared confused glances.

"Oh." Proxy stepped back. "Sorry. I thought you knew, and that's what you were saying."

"Forgive me." Alastor scratched his head. "But my…condition, did you just say…there's a word for it?"

"Yeah. You've heard of homosexual, heterosexual and bisexual, right?" She waited for his nod. "Well, asexual is someone who's into neither gender."

"How do you know this?"

"I'm ace myself."

"What?" Tina said.

Alastor grabbed his chair, and Proxy's wrist, dragged both across the room, planted her in her seat, and then pulled up his own right in front of her.

"Tell me more about this…ace thing." He wore a grin like a kid who'd just discovered credit cards. "Do you also find the act of sexual intercourse repulsive and meaningless?"

"Don't get me wrong," Proxy said, a little taken aback that the Radio Demon was all up in her face. "If others wanna do it, and they're consenting adults, I couldn't care less." She looked at Angel Dust. "But it's just not my thing."

"What if you fall in love?" Alastor's smile shrank. "Wait. Does being asexual mean I can't be in love?"

"There's a whole spectrum, so not every ace is the same. Some are romantic, which I assume you are." Her eyes flitted towards Tina. "I myself am asexual and aromantic, which means I'm not into romance or sex, period."

Tina looked as if she'd swallowed a rock. "Proxy, why'd you never mention this?"

Proxy shrugged. "Not everyone knows what it means, so I don't talk about it much. And when I try to, people tend to say there's something wrong with me. That I should see a doctor or something."

Angel focused on the ceiling and whistled innocently.

"So, I don't have a disease?" Alastor asked. "I don't need surgery? There's nothing wrong with me?"

Proxy hesitated. "Physically? No."

The Radio Demon's eyes lit up. "Where have you been all my life?"

"Waiting to be born, I guess."

The happy moment was ruined for Alastor when he heard a chair screech. He turned in time to see Tina racing out of the room.

"Darling?" He sprang up to go after her.

Charlie and Carrie Canary were about to follow when Angel stopped them with his multiple arms.

"Ah, ah, ah," he said. "We've done all we can for them. It's up to the lovebirds now."

"See?" Vaggie said to her partner. "I knew it was a bad idea to get involved."

"Hey," Angel said, "it worked, didn't it?"

"Worked?" Vaggie put her hands on her hips. "You just announced their problems to everyone without their consent! It was bad enough they were arguing, they might rip each other to shreds now!"

"On the contrary," Dr. Cougarton said, "now that Mr. Alastor and Miss Twinkle have pinpointed the problems in their relationship, they will be better able to work through them."

"All the same, you should've left them to figure it out for themselves!"

"But they weren't figuring it out for themselves," Angel insisted. "Because they're damn idiots, too stubborn to tell each other what's on their minds! Seriously, watchin' them go back and forth has become downright exhausting. Someone had to do something or they were gonna be like that until the next Extermination. Then I was gonna push 'em straight into a fuckin' angel's warpath!"

"I didn't mean for it to get this out of hand," Charlie said. "I didn't know that… Al never said that he…" She hung her head. "I'm sorry."

Vaggie sighed. "It's not me you should be apologizing to."

Tina slammed the door to her room, flopped onto her bed and sobbed into her pillow. Then came the familiar "Shave and a Haircut" knock.

"Go away!"

In his shadow form, Alastor slithered under the door and materialized behind her. "I'm afraid I can't do that this time, darling. Not when you're like this."

Tina lifted her head and sniffed. "It wasn't your fault. None of it was your fault."

He sat on the edge of her bed. "Precious—"

"I thought you were just afraid." She hugged her pillow to her chest. "Or that maybe you were too traumatized to…" She shook her head. "But you just didn't want it. Plain and simple. And ya ain't the only one."

As more tears came, Alastor laid a tentative hand on her shoulder. She didn't shake it off.

"All this time," she murmured, "I berated you, scolded you, punished you, for something that you couldn't control."

"Tina—"

"It's true." She sat up, still clutching the pillow. "Those things Wilbur, Ethan, and everyone else said about me. I am a leech. A treacherous, ungrateful leech. I fed off ya like I did with every other man in my life, and when it wasn't enough anymore, I…"

She slammed the pillow into her face. "I'm no better than Ethan. Or Wilbur."

"Tina." Alastor gently took the pillow from her. "It's alright."

"No, it's not alright!" She pounded her fist on the mattress. "Stop sayin' it's alright! We had a good thing going and I went and ruined it! A part of me felt justified cuz ya made me wait so long, but really it was cuz I'm a stupid, selfish—"

"Tina." He took her by the shoulders. "You didn't know. I didn't know."

"I didn't help either." She hung her head. "Instead of pushin' ya, I could've waited longer. We could've figured it out together. This changes everything."

"Mon amour, look at me." He cupped her face in his hands. "This changes nothing. What your racoon girl said about me being asexual, it's all new to me. There's still so much I don't know about it, but I do know this."

Alastor pressed his forehead to hers. "You are my darling wife, and I love you with every fiber of my being. No matter what happens, no matter what I may discover about myself, or even you, that will never change."

The words from Dr. Cougarton's lecture danced through Tina's head. And with each word, her fragile heart grew heavier, and heavier.

Angel Dust had been right. Tina was avoidant. Avoidant of her feelings, her relationships, her problems. An unhealthy pattern she had to break.

Starting now.

"I'm ready."

Alastor drew back. "Ready for what?"

She locked gaze with him. "I'm ready to talk about what happened ten years ago."

See? I told you I knew what I was doing with these two.

While there are subcategories for the aforementioned attachment styles, to avoid too much textbook talk, I kept it simple.

I will tell you, the first time I heard about asexuality, I was absolutely giddy.

The next chapter is going to be a whopper, and may take longer.