WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT AND JUST A WHOLE BUNCH OF EMOTIONAL TURMOIL AND ANGST THAT ISN'T GOING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!
I mean it. This chapter made me want to kill myself. But this was what I planned from the beginning, and you all knew you were going to get the full story eventually.
I apologize in advance.
TITLE SONG: "Exile" by Taylor Swift & Bon Iver (seriously, I was amazed with how much this song fit Al and Tina's relationship)
P.S. I'm well aware that "Hazbin Hotel" is going through changes, including character designs and Alastor having a radio tower at the hotel, but keep in mind this fic was conceived when we only had the pilot to go on, and since this is an AU anyway, forgive any discrepancies between this and the full show when it comes out.
Now that Alastor had managed to keep Tina out of the house for the day, he could prepare for tonight. He popped inside the dining room, carrying armfuls of red, pink, and white lilies.
He arranged a bouquet for the table, plucked the petals off the remaining flowers, and sprinkled them atop the table, and his bed. Niffty had said rose petals on the bed were romantic, but lilies were Tina's favorite.
Then he set to work on dinner, two venison steaks with a side of asparagus. And for dessert, Alastor tried a new recipe of chocolate-covered strawberries, using dark chocolate to overpower the sweetness. According to Rosie, asparagus, strawberries, and chocolate served as natural aphrodisiacs. Alastor had also been eating pistachios every day for the same purpose. He didn't trust those artificial drugs Valentino produced.
Rosie had scolded the Radio Demon for daring to discuss sexual habits with a lady, but she complied once he explained that it was all in order to please his wife. Husk had offered some very, very detailed advice, which had been both informative and discomforting, but Alastor had wanted to get a woman's perspective. Niffty was still under the impression that her favorite couple had already consummated their union, so he could only ask her about creating a romantic aesthetic.
"Now don't be too rough on her," Husk said. "Unless she asks. I don't know. Depends on her kinks."
"Be gentle," Rosie said. "Shower her with affection, but also allow her room to breathe. And, should you find yourself at a loss, let her take the lead." She winked. "I know quite a few women who prefer that last part."
"I know you two haven't been talking much lately," Niffty said. "So if you wanna make it up to her, go big. But not too big, you know? Just the right amount of big to show her you're serious, but don't overwhelm her with too much lovey-dovey goodness, you know?"
"But most importantly…" said Husk.
"The one thing you must do…" said Rosie.
"If all else fails…" said Niffty.
"Follow my instincts," the Radio Demon muttered as he set the table. "Follow my instincts."
He repeated this to himself as he illuminated the room with candles. Then he snapped his fingers, making the gramophone play their wedding song.
Flowers, a candlelit dinner, soft jazz. Surely, this was enough to get him back into Tina's good graces. If she was still too stubborn to give in, all he had to do was show her the vial of Lilith's blood and explain its properties. His wife will be so overjoyed, she wouldn't dare say no to his proposition.
It was a quarter to seven. Alastor checked every detail to ensure nothing was out of place. Then he caught his reflection in the mirror and facepalmed. His hair was a mess, and he still wore his usual tattered tailcoat. This look would not do for an anniversary dinner this important.
With a snap of the fingers, his suit changed into a clean, red, velvet tuxedo. Then he summoned a comb to run through his hair. For good measure, he also conjured up a bottle of cologne, remembering Tina's complaints of him smelling like rotting meat, and spritzed it on either side of his neck.
He stared at his reflection a moment, then combed his hair again. Another long look, and he plucked a piece of fuzz off his sleeve.
"Hmm." He rubbed his chin. "Still missing something. Ah!"
Another snap, and a red lily appeared on his lapel.
"Perfect," he said as he straightened the boutonniere. "She won't be able to resist this time." He took a dust cloth from his pocket to polish his monocle. "Now, how to phrase this?"
As he replaced his monocle, Alastor made eye contact with his reflection. "Happy Anniversary, darling! This year, along with the usual pair of shoes, I'm giving you my virginity!"
He winced. "No, no, no." He perked up his grin and tried again. "Tina, my dear, let's make love tonight."
Alastor snorted and shook his head. "No, that's not it either."
Taking on a suaver tone, he snapped both sets of fingers towards the mirror. "Sweetheart, I'm taking you to bed tonight!"
With a frustrated grunt, he dragged his hand down his face. "What am I doing? This doesn't sound like me at all."
It really didn't. The Radio Demon had never dreamed that he would ask a woman to have sex with him, let alone to start a family with him. The more he pondered on the right words to say, the more he wondered if he was truly ready for this.
Five more minutes to seven. Tina would be arriving soon. Alastor polished his monocle a second time.
He couldn't mess this up. Their first time had to be perfect. They would start the evening with a lovely dinner, he would reveal his intentions at the right moment, they would both drink Lilith's blood, and then, once they'd finished eating, they would retire to the bedroom, where he would promptly transfer the candlelight and music. Hopefully, he'd supplied enough aphrodisiacs to get his equipment up and running. Once it was done, their union would at last be official in every way. Then Tina would be happy again.
As he waited at the table for her arrival, he closed his eyes, and imagined what it would be like. It had been so long since he'd held her in his arms, and felt her soft fur against his skin. His lips puckered as he yearned to kiss her again.
He knew all the steps. Obviously, the next one was to remove both their clothing. Although, maybe, he could persuade Tina to wear that red negligee of hers, and he wouldn't have to see her stark naked.
A heavy blush overtook the Radio Demon's face at the image. Their bodies pressed together in bed, the two of them clinging to each other in desperate longing, their limbs entangled in pure ecstasy, their lips tasting every exposed inch, and then…
And then…
And…then…
Alastor squirmed in his seat, his ankles crossing to contain the awkward heat passing through him.
Next thing he would have to do was…
He opened his eyes in alarm. He knew what came after, but why was he still having trouble picturing it? It wasn't rocket science. All he would have to do was spread her legs, and insert his member into her…
Alastor shook the thought out of his head and covered his mouth to stop himself from gagging.
Talking about the deed with trustworthy confidantes had done nothing to dispel his insecurities. They all told him to follow his instincts, but how was he supposed to make love to his wife, when all his instincts screamed NO?
He had to find a way to control this, and fast. Tina would be here any minute. He popped a chocolate strawberry into his mouth, his mind too preoccupied to review its taste. The sooner he got the aphrodisiac into his system, the sooner he could get this night over with.
It didn't matter how he felt about the act. What mattered was how he felt about Tina. Even if he had to eat a hundred strawberries to get himself into the mood, he would grant her his virginity tonight, and then, eventually, a child. If luck was on his side, he might only have to do it this one time. Once the child was born, Tina would be so busy with them that she'd forget all about those silly, lustful impulses, and their afterlives would be perfect once again. Perhaps even more so than before.
The clock chimed seven. At the last minute, Alastor smoothed out his jacket, straightened his bowtie, and popped another strawberry into his mouth.
"Showtime."
"Hey, bat lady!"
Tina craned her neck, propping her chin on the bar counter to stare up at the imp bartender. "Yeah?"
"You've been in here all day, ordered ten bottles of liquor and five servings of nachos. You planning to pay any of it?"
With an exhausted grown, Tina reached into her purse and slammed a wad of cash on the counter. "Top off my glass while you're at it."
The bartender ceased her complaints, took the money, and got a fresh bottle of liquor. She poured into her patron's frequently refilled glass, and was about to stop halfway when Tina tipped the bottle to fill the glass all the way to the rim.
As Tina guzzled down the drink, the bartender went to wait on her other patrons.
It was a miracle Tina hadn't passed out yet. Maybe it was because she'd been pacing herself since she'd walked into this bar at noon. Or the five baskets of chili-cheese nachos stirring in her tummy.
Or her body was simply too exasperated to react to the alcohol.
"Hey, Radio Gal," said a male voice. "Long time, no see."
Tina turned her aching head and squinted at the tall, red blur before her. "Al?" She blinked her vision into focus. "No, wait. You're not Al."
There'd be static buzzing all around if it were him.
"Nope." The stranger sat on the barstool beside her. "Your husband ain't here, and you're hammered as fuck. What happened? He take away your MP3 player again?"
In her boozy haze, she couldn't tell much about the stranger, but from his shape, she conjectured he was a succubus of some kind.
"Sorry." She shook her head. "Should I know who ya are?"
"Ouch." The red blur held up what she assumed were his hands. "Nah, it's fine. Very few of my clients remember my name. I've learned not to take it personally."
"Oh." Tina massaged her temple as the situation became clear. "You're one of those guys."
"Yup. Me and the other boys were kinda disappointed when ya stopped coming round. You left great tips."
"Yeah, sorry." She set down her glass. "Haven't needed company in a while."
Not since Alastor had told her he loved her.
"Looks like you could use some right now." The succubus inched closer. "Don't think I've ever seen you this stressed before, honey. I could offer you some…relief?"
A clawed hand fell over hers, sending a spark of unwanted electricity through her. Tina snatched her hand away.
"I don't do that anymore. Only man I'll fuck is…"
But she didn't finish. How could she, when she was starting to think such a scenario wasn't possible?
"Didn't you say you and your husband had an open relationship?" the succubus asked.
"Yeah, but…"
Once again, she was unable to finish.
At the beginning of their nonsexual, nonromantic agreement, Alastor had said Tina could seek fulfillment elsewhere, so long as she remained married to him. But she hadn't taken advantage of that clause since they'd started acting like a real couple.
And yet, Alastor had never erased that part of their deal. Nor had he said she was no longer allowed to find others to satisfy her needs. She had just assumed he would be the one to do that.
But despite his rejection of physical intimacy, despite his sudden, inexplicable apathy towards her, Alastor was still the only man she desired.
With the combined effect of heartbreak and alcohol, Tina slammed her face on the counter and burst into tears.
"Why does he hate me?" she blurted out. "Why won't he talk to me anymore? I know he doesn't want kids but does he have to shut me up all the time?"
She pounded a fist on the counter. "Don't want another Wilbur! Don't want another Ethan! Least those assholes found me fucking fuckable! Why won't he tell me why? Why, why, why, why, why?"
"Hey, easy, honey." She felt the succubus's claws on her shoulders. "Whole bar's staring at us."
"Sorry." Tina sniffed. "I just wish he… I want…"
Alastor. She just wanted Alastor.
The one man who didn't want her. As much as she would like him to.
"I know, I know. Monogamy's a bitch," said the succubus. "Whaddya think demons like us are here for? When people have relationship problems, they come to us to forget about 'em. No shame in that, really." He squeezed Tina's shoulders, giving her a surprisingly soothing massage. "We all need a break from social obligations, every now and then."
Tina didn't know if it was due to the alcohol, the seductive spell of the succubus, or the fact that she hadn't had sex in five years, but her pelvis was pounding.
No, no. She crossed her legs in an effort to keep her impulses in check. This isn't right. I love Al. I can't betray him.
She released a moan of frustration, though it sounded, even to her, more like one of pleasure.
"Come on," said the succubus. "Let's go round back like we used to. And since I'm feeling nice, I'll give you a twenty-five-percent discount off my usual rate."
The heat from her loins overpowered the rationality in her brain.
Why should this be a betrayal when he doesn't care about you anymore?
But he won't like it.
He doesn't have to know.
I love Al.
If he loved you, he wouldn't have abandoned you on your anniversary.
That really hurt.
What better way to hurt him back?
With a half-drunk, half-high on succubus charm resolve, Tina straightened up, reached into her purse, and pulled out the rest of her husband's cash.
"How many minutes will this get me?"
Alastor tapped his fingers on the dining table as he glanced at the clock. Tina was an hour late. In his impatience, he'd eaten ten strawberries and drunk half the wine he'd brought up from the cellar.
"Where could she be?" he asked Chesterfield.
The shadow shrugged.
"She can't be at work. I called Mimzy last week to ensure she had the day off."
Chesterfield's eyeholes widened as he bit his nails. Alastor tensed with just as much anxiety.
"You don't suppose something's happened to her, do you?"
If that were the case, the Radio Demon would never forgive himself. As her husband, it was his sworn duty to protect Tina from the dangers of Hell. If she fell to some misfortune, it would be his fault for not keeping better watch over her.
Dinner could wait.
"Look alive, boys."
Rising to his feet, Alastor summoned his staff and pounded it to the floor. Shadows sprang up all around him.
"Spread out. Search the entire pentagram, if you have to. Just find my wife. You should be able to track my energy signature from her ring."
The shadows wailed in agreement and split up. Alastor clutched his staff, hoping that he was simply being paranoid, and that his beloved was safe.
No kisses, no oral action, no foreplay that would leave a mark.
These were the conditions Tina set as the succubus pinned her against the alley brick wall.
Once the necessary undergarments were out of the way, she hooked her arms and legs around the succubus, and let him do his work. Tina shut her eyes, as if not seeing his face would make her forget she was giving herself to a prostitute. Again.
It was more painful than she remembered. Not because of the succubus, for he was going at a reasonable pace. But with every thrust, Tina was hit with the guilt of what she was doing.
She hadn't even realized she was crying until the succubus said, "Want me to ease up a bit?"
After a second of thought, she shook her head and muttered, "Harder."
As he was the one being paid for this, he complied. And she took it.
It was better that it hurt. She deserved punishment for this sin.
No matter how many times she did this, no matter what her feelings for the partner involved, Tina could never fully enjoy it. So, she'd long given up on trying to enjoy it.
And despite the situation, the only thing she could think about was Alastor. How upset he would be if he ever found out about this.
Also, something that hadn't occurred to her in these entanglements before, what it would be like if Alastor was in this position with her instead.
Would he be this hard and disconnected, or would he be gentle and attentive? Her discomfort dissipated for a moment, as she imagined that the claws around her were not the prostitute's, but Alastor's. And that she wasn't pressed up against a wall, but to her bed. And that she wasn't in a messy, half-dressed state, but fully exposed in the ultimate show of trust.
And Alastor would be the same, perched above her, his rough but tentative claws caressing her skin, his pelvic movements more like a sheathing than a stab. Rather than an object, he'd make her feel like a treasure.
Tina's breath quickened as her erotic fantasy went wild.
"Alastor," she said through the pants. "Alastor."
"Yeah, yeah," said the succubus. "Call me whatever you want, honey."
Tina opened her eyes in horror. What the fuck am I doing?
"Stop!" She pushed against the demon that wasn't her husband. "I've changed my mind!"
The succubus gave her a confused look. "A little late for that, don't you think?"
"I'll pay you in full!" She unwound her legs, but he was still inside her. "Let's just end this, okay?"
"But I haven't gotten rid of my boner yet."
Tina gritted her teeth. "I don't care how hard ya are! Just get off me before—"
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER, YOU FILTHY WHORE!"
The succubus was wrenched out of Tina. He screamed as he was brought face-to-face with the Radio Demon in all his fiendish glory, his open, fanged mouth prepared to bite the prostitute's head off.
"YOU DARE TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH MY DARLING WIFE?!" the tall, black-eyed monster demanded.
The succubus stammered incoherently.
The Radio Demon's voice lowered, but remained beastly. "Do you know what I'm going to do with you? I'm going to cut open your skull, scoop out your brains, and eat them oh, so, slowly, so that you're just conscious enough to watch."
"L-Look, man," the succubus whimpered, "y-you can keep the money. I-I'll pay you back double!"
The monster released a booming laugh. "You think MONEY will make me forget this heinous act? You think you can get away with ravishing my—?"
"Al, stop!" Tina tugged on her husband's tattered pantleg. "Let him go!"
Those soulless eyes fixated on her. "Let him go? After he dared to RAPE you?!"
"But he didn't, Al! I paid him!"
His eyes flashed to their normal red. "W-What?"
"That's right." Tina bowed her head in shame. "He…he was just doing his job. He doesn't deserve punishment."
The Radio Demon deflated, dropping the succubus. The terrified demon decided the pay wasn't worth it, and fled.
Alastor, in his regular form, stared down at his wife. The corners of his mouth quivered, his eye twitched, his claws flexed. Tina kept her gaze on the ground, not wanting to meet his.
"It's…not true," he uttered. "T-Tell me it isn't true."
She shut her eyes and shook her head. "It's true, Al."
Alastor had only known heartbreak once. When his mother had died. But this wasn't the same.
Along with the sadness, with the hurt, there was also anger. Pure, unadulterated anger, that he'd never thought would be directed towards Tina.
Then, his grin dipped into an ugly, toothy frown.
Releasing a pantherlike growl, Alastor snatched up his wife's wrist, much tighter than he intended. "We're going home."
He practically tossed her through the portal, but Tina did not object to his roughness. She'd suffered worse, and in his case, his anger was warranted.
She landed on her knees in the dining room. As she heard the portal close behind her, she saw his romantic setup. The gramophone playing their wedding song screeched to a halt.
"By the way," Alastor said, his voice accompanied by the sound of crackling fire, "Happy Anniversary."
Tina pushed herself from the floor, noticing the lilies, and the chocolate-covered strawberries. He'd actually made sweets.
"I…" She clutched her heart. "I thought you forgot."
"Forgot?" He chuckled, though not out of amusement. "You really think I'd forget the most important day of my afterlife? Ha! Most important day of my afterlife. Isn't that funny?"
He flipped over the table. The shattering of the plates and glasses wasn't even half as great as the shattering within his chest. The tablecloth caught fire from the candles. Before the flames could spread, a bucket of water appeared and extinguished them.
Tina's only reaction was a wince.
Alastor stomped over to the fireplace and gripped the mantel. It was all he could do to prevent his claws from extending further.
No matter how enraged he was, he refused to lose control in front of his wife.
If he could call her that anymore.
After three deep breaths, Alastor finally had the strength to ask, "Was he the only one?"
There was no point in lying. "No."
His antlers grew as he seethed. "Did you pay them all? Or have you been seeing any of them…leisurely?"
"No!" Tina faced him just as his spine was curling. "They…they were all hookers. They didn't mean anything. You're the only man I've ever loved."
"L-L-Love?" His voice glitched. "H-How can you talk about l-love? When you g-go and s-spread your legs for ANOTHER?!"
The mantel crumbled within his enlarged claws. Tina flinched.
Alastor had thrown tantrums before, but she had never been truly afraid, knowing he would never hurt her. But now that he knew of her unfaithfulness, she might not have that luxury anymore.
She could not stop him from punishing her, even if she transformed, for he was stronger. But perhaps if she explained things, he wouldn't be as harsh. At the very least he might spare her soul.
"Y-You said it was alright," Tina stammered. "W-When you proposed, y-you said I could seek fulfillment elsewhere."
Alastor thrust the marble pieces of the mantel into the fire and spun around. He was a foot taller now, his eyes glitching between red and static.
"I thought it'd be obvious," he said as he stalked towards her, "when we declared our love, that you wouldn't need to seek fulfillment elsewhere!"
"Well you weren't…" She stopped herself. "I thought you'd abandoned me on our anniversary. I had no idea you were—"
"So your solution was to go and fuck a whore?!"
Tina backed away. Whenever Alastor dropped the F-bomb without censoring himself, it was never a good sign.
"I was prepared to give you everything." With each stride, his height increased. "I didn't even want a wife, but I married you anyway. I didn't want to love you, but I went and did it anyway."
Her back hit the wall. The Radio Demon slammed his claws on either side of her head, glaring at her through the dark abyss of his eyes.
Somehow, his voice remained steady, though on the cusp of shouting. "I gave you my home, my heart, and I almost…" He paused, seeing no sense in revealing that factor now. "I threw all my morals out the window, and dared to love you. Do you mean to tell me that that wasn't enough?"
She lowered her head. There was nothing she could say to fix this.
Alastor snarled. "That pig agent of yours was right. You are a leech. And I'm simply your meal ticket."
Leech.
Tina had never wanted to hear him call her that. Just as Wilbur had. Just as Ethan had.
"Well?" Alastor demanded. "Have you no more to say?"
She shook her head. She couldn't argue with what she knew all too well to be true.
He growled. "Was it a lie, then? When you said you loved me?"
Another shake of the head.
"I don't believe you."
Tears formed as Tina muttered, "Then I guess ya have no use for me anymore."
He stiffened. "W-What?"
She closed her eyes. "Just…get it over with, will ya?"
The offer to take his anger out on her was all too tempting. After all, didn't the adulteress deserve it? Women who committed her sin were once stoned to death. But that seemed too tame a punishment for the pain her betrayal had caused.
With his emotionless eyes trained on her drooping head, the Radio Demon raised a claw. All it would take was one, perfectly aimed swing of the arm, and she would be suffering a blow harder than the one she'd dealt him.
Then Alastor paused.
Her position, facing him with her head down, not meeting his gaze, not flinching, accepting whatever fate he had in store for her. It was just as she'd looked on their wedding day.
The day she'd bound herself to him, without a trace of love in her heart.
Then she resembled someone else. Someone who'd accepted blows from her husband too many times.
His mother.
Alastor stared at his raised hand, ready to strike. Just as his father had done too many times.
The Radio Demon faltered as he grabbed his wrist and turned his back to Tina. "Go."
Confused, she opened her eyes. "What?"
His hands shook. "I'm not…myself. Leave. Now."
He had every right to be upset. Tina wanted nothing more than to comfort him, as he had frequently done for her.
But she couldn't do that when she was the cause of his distress.
So, with a mumbled apology that she knew wouldn't suffice, she bolted out of the dining room.
Alastor stumbled over to the fireplace, steadying himself on the remains of the mantel. It took a good half hour of calming breaths for him to revert to his regular form. He quelled his bloodlust, leaving behind only misery.
In a rare burst of tears, Alastor fell to his knees in front of the fire, burying his face in his hands.
He'd almost struck her. For the first time, Alastor had legitimately wanted to harm his wife. If he hadn't stopped himself, he could've very well killed her.
And why shouldn't he? Why shouldn't he wring her neck with his bare hands, or beat the life out of her, or drive a knife through her heart? After all, she'd practically done the same to him by running to the arms of some stranger. He'd murdered for lesser offenses.
And yet, in the end, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
The heartbroken demon looked down at his wedding ring, tracing it with his finger.
Why had he gone through with it? Why had he taken a woman so promiscuous and unfaithful as his eternal partner? They'd both known this marriage would never end in happily ever after. He could've dealt with the social pressure of finding a mate. It would've been better to have left her alone, to never know what it was like to love, only for it to be thrown back in his face.
With a furious grunt, he yanked the ring off and prepared to toss it into the fire.
Then he stopped, and considered the question.
Why had he married her? He could've backed out the moment she changed her mind, instead of convincing her to proceed with the ceremony. He could've accepted that she didn't want him for a husband. He could've called off the deal right then and there, and spared them both the torment. He should destroy this accursed symbol of matrimony and end it all right now.
But he couldn't.
Because despite everything she'd done, then and now, Alastor still loved her.
From that very first moment, he had loved her. Perhaps not always in the romantic sense, but once he saw her on that stage, once he heard her sing, once he heard her rip him apart with the harshest, most creative of insults, his admiration for her was set in stone.
He hadn't married her to spite Lucifer, or to dispel anyone's questions. Alastor had married Tina because deep down, he craved some semblance of a normal, human life. To have someone waiting for him when he got home, someone to spend arbitrary celebrations with, someone who comforted him in his darkest hours, someone who gave him a real reason to smile, every single day.
He'd thought he could have all of that with Tina. If only he hadn't let his emotions get in the way. If he hadn't dared to care, seeing her with another man wouldn't have hurt so much.
On the other hand, he wouldn't trade those happy times with her for anything. He didn't want them to end. No matter how upset he was, he couldn't let Tina go.
Besides, Alastor had made a vow. To love, honor, protect, and cherish her, for better or worse, for the rest of eternity.
This moment definitely counted as worse, but he was determined to see this disaster through. For Tina.
And so, he kissed the black wedding ring, before returning it to its rightful place.
If it hadn't been for the large amount of alcohol in her system, Tina wouldn't have managed any sleep. When morning came, and she was hit with a wave of nausea and a piercing headache, she wanted nothing more than to stay curled up in her bed.
She'd made mistakes before. And just as she was starting to let go of her greatest one, she had to go and make one just as awful, if not worse.
There was no excuse for what she did. The alcohol, the succubus's spell, Alastor's four months of dismissiveness. None of that changed the fact that she'd cheated on her husband.
And for what? To get back at him? To find an outlet for her frustration? Or was it all just for some cheap thrill? Even now, she wasn't sure what had possessed her to accept the prostitute's offer.
Because all it had done was make her hate herself. And based on Alastor's reaction last night, he probably hated her even more.
What was he going to do with her? Their relationship couldn't possibly be salvaged from this. Would he divorce her? Throw her out into the streets?
No, she may have broken his trust, but not their deal. He might keep her around to save face, and avoid the hassle of seeking another desperate demoness to be his trophy wife.
Even if he decided to stay married to Tina, he could still find a way to punish her. Maybe lock her in his torture basement, or in that microphone with all his other victims, and let her out once he got bored.
At least she could be certain he'd never resort to Ethan's favorite form of punishment.
Tina was surprised that Alastor hadn't punished her already. Perhaps he needed time to contemplate on what would be most suitable, without his rage blinding him. That provided some comfort that whatever penalty he had planned, it would be fair.
And most definitely deserved.
There was no use waiting around in her room. She would have to face her husband's wrath eventually.
So, like Marie Antoinette off to meet the guillotine, Tina rose from her bed, left her room, and strode down the hall to the kitchen, where Alastor was most likely waiting for her.
She wasn't expecting to hear humming, or smell eggs and bacon. But when she opened the door to the kitchen, there was her husband, making breakfast like every other morning.
"What the fuck?" she murmured.
"Ah, good morning, my little magnolia!" Alastor greeted as he scooped the food from the frying pan onto two plates. "Sleep well?"
Tina blinked. Had last night been a nightmare? A hallucination? No, she hadn't been that drunk. Or was she dreaming now?
"Come eat breakfast, darling!" Alastor came over and pecked her cheek. "I made your favorite!"
She touched her cheek as he glided over to the table, setting down the plates. That kiss had felt too real for this to be a dream.
But if this wasn't a dream, and last night hadn't been a dream, why was Alastor acting so cheerful?
"What's the matter with you, dear?" he called from the table. "Aren't you hungry?"
Shaking out of her bewilderment, Tina approached him. "What's the matter with me? What's the matter with you? Why you makin' me breakfast?"
"I'm not sure what you mean, my love." Alastor tilted his head. "I make you breakfast every morning."
"Yeah, but…" She plopped into the seat across from him. "Why? After last night—"
His eye twitched as he held up a finger. "Ah-ah-ah! Let's not dwell on the past, darling! As far as I'm concerned, last night never happened!"
Her jaw dropped. "W-What?"
"You heard me." He picked up his fork and knife and focused on his meal. "Last night was just another little disagreement. No need to let it rule us."
"But…aren't you mad?"
"Oh, no, no, no, dear." He tsked. "As you said, no rules were broken, so there is nothing for me to be mad about. Our deal remains intact, so I see no point in us fretting about silly little misunderstandings, don't you? Now, eat your eggs before they get cold."
Tina's fear was then melted away by flames of fury. "You've gotta be kiddin' me!" She slammed her hands on the table. "You're ignorin' this too?"
The corners of Alastor's mouth trembled. "Darling, I told you, it's all in the past. Can't we simply forget about—?"
"You said the same thing 'bout us havin' a baby, but this?" She stood abruptly, knocking back her chair. "How the fuck can you forget about something like this?"
"Very simple, dear." He waved a hand. "As the saying goes, 'Forgive and forget.'"
"Forgive and forget? Al, I cheated on ya!"
"And I said you could seek fulfillment elsewhere. Therefore, what you did cannot be considered cheating, as I had allowed it prior to our marriage. So, please." He gestured to the chair on the floor. "Do sit back down, and let's end this discussion, alright?"
Tina hung her head back with a groan. "There you go again! Why is every time we have a big fight like this, the next day ya go on as if everything's all hunky-dory?!"
"Sweetheart, it's normal for couples to fight."
"But it's not normal for them to fight about babies, go months without talkin' to each other, and then for one of 'em to hook up with a hooker, and the other to go in a rage but then make breakfast the next mornin' and pretend like it never happened! It's like…it's like you're not even bothered by the fact I fucked another man on our anniversary!"
Alastor's fork came down, piercing the table.
"Believe me, Tina." Static buzzed as he narrowed his eyes at her. "I am very bothered." He rose to his feet, towering over her. "But, because you are my wife and I love you, I've decided to forgive you."
"Forgive me?" She shook her head with a scoff. "You're not supposed to forgive something like this!"
"Then what would you have me do instead, hmm? Beat you? Whip you? Lock you in the cellar for thirty days with no food or drink?"
"Honestly? Yes!" Tina threw her hands in the air. "At least then I'd know you actually care about what I did!"
"It's because I care that I will not be doing such a thing!"
"But I deserve it!"
"No!" Alastor made an X with his arms. "We're moving on, alright? This is the last time we'll be discussing the subject."
"That's not how people move on, Al! Can't you just accept the fact that I—?"
"Tina!" He reached across the table to press a finger to her lips. "I said, we're done talking about this!"
"But—"
"Hush!"
"Nuh-uh!" She shoved his hand away. "You're not hushin' me up again!"
"Tina, please!" The table shook as he grabbed her shoulders. "Just let this go, will you? Last night never happened. Right now, we're going to eat our breakfast, and enjoy each other's company. Is that alright with you?"
It was not alright.
But Alastor didn't wait for her confirmation. Plastering on an even wider grin, and a gaze to match, he returned to his seat and continued eating. One of his shadows lifted Tina's chair back up and pushed it beneath her. She landed in it, still staring at her husband.
How could he keep on smiling like that, as if she hadn't just betrayed his trust and broken his heart? He'd been so furious last night that he'd almost struck her. There was no way he was over it that quickly.
Or was he? Was he really choosing to let this go, and spare her from any consequences?
Did Alastor truly love her that much?
Finally, Tina had found a man willing to ignore all her past, and current, transgressions. It didn't matter how many mistakes she made. He would forgive her every time.
And that was the problem. For Tina knew all too well that that kind of love wasn't healthy. That what she had done wasn't okay.
All those times she'd forgiven Wilbur. All those times she'd forgiven Ethan. Only for them to do the same thing again and again.
Alastor was nothing like her past lovers. But Tina was.
One of them had to break the cycle.
"This isn't gonna work," she said.
The Radio Demon looked up. "What's not going to work?"
She winced. "Al, maybe…we should rethink this marriage."
There was a loud crack as his knife cut through his plate. "W-What are you saying?"
She met his gaze. "I'm sayin' we should consider a…divorce."
He dropped his silverware, his mouth quivering. "L-Let's not be hasty, dear. We're in this forever, remember?" He held up his ring. "Till second death do us part. Don't tell me we said those vows for nothing."
"Well, we kinda…" She hung her head. "We kinda did."
Alastor's smile fell into a flat line. "Y-You're not serious about this, are you?"
Tina gripped the edges of her seat. "We gave it a shot, Al, but in the end, it obviously didn't work. I'm sorry, but…it might be the best thing for us now."
He couldn't believe his ears. That the woman he loved was suggesting they separate forever. That his greatest fear was coming true.
Then the corners of his mouth crept back up as he thought of the perfect counterargument.
"As much as I'd like to grant your wish, darling," he said, "it's not as easy to get a divorce in Hell as you might think."
"What?" She looked up. "You mean to tell me in this cesspool of sinners, divorce is rare?"
"Well, you see," Alastor said with a shrug, "the legal proceedings are so tedious and expensive and not always fair, so when a demon wishes to sever their union with their mate, they tend to speed the process along by eliminating said mate."
Tina put a hand to her neck at the implication. Her husband chuckled.
"Oh, no worries, precious. I have no intention of killing you. And we both know you aren't powerful enough to kill me on your own."
She scowled. "So, divorce is impossible?"
"No, not impossible, but in our case, yes." He set his laced hands on the table. "See, the person who conducted our ceremony was Lucifer himself. It would be a lot less complicated if we'd just gotten any old, ordained minister of Satan, but we were bound by a fallen angel, a divine being. Therefore, the only one who can dissolve our marriage is Lucifer."
"Why should that be a prob—?"
"Ah, you forget!" Alastor raised a finger. "Lucifer, though he is the King of Sin, is a romantic! Not to mention in his mind, he was the cause of our marriage to begin with! He will not be so eager to be the one to end it!"
There was also the fact that Alastor still had that deal with the Devil, and had a feeling Lucifer wouldn't appreciate being cheated out of a devil-child and future confidante. Thus, Lucifer would do everything in his power to ensure that the child promised to him would come into existence, including blocking Tina's petition for divorce.
"So, there you are, darling!" Alastor grinned in triumph. "You cannot divorce me, even if I allowed it!"
"You…" With her nostrils flaring, Tina stood. "You planned this along, didn't ya? From the very beginning! You intentionally had Lucifer marry us so that I could never back out of our deal!"
"Do you truly think so little of me, sweetheart?" He batted his eyes innocently. "After all, I assumed you'd be smart enough not to defy me, so why should I take extra precautions to ensure that you keep your word? The conditions of our marriage just happen to fall into my favor!"
She gritted her teeth. "You can't just keep me here. You don't own me."
"No, but you are still bound to me." He showed off his ring again. "So, unless I also consent to a divorce, you are obligated to stay with me, whether you like it or not."
Alastor couldn't help being cocky, for he was winning this game. It was only a matter of time before Tina realized there were no cards left in her hand, and fold. After all, she couldn't stay mad at him forever.
But Tina did have one card to play. A card that trumped all of Alastor's.
"Actually, I'm not obligated to stay with ya."
There was a record scratch. "P-Pardon?"
"Don't ya remember? The night you proposed, I asked if I would have to live with ya, and you said it wasn't necessary."
He opened his mouth, but no words came out.
"So, just because ya won't grant me a divorce," Tina said, squaring her shoulders, "doesn't mean I have to stick around and take this crap."
Sweat dripped down Alastor's forehead. "D-Don't be ridiculous, darling! Y-You couldn't possibly survive out there on your own! W-Why, that's the very reason you married me!"
"Nuh-uh." She held up a finger. "That was before I understood how Hell works. But then you taught me 'bout dealmaking, and how to control my demon powers."
His cheeks were aching from his forced smile. "That…doesn't mean you stand a chance out there! W-Where would you even go?"
"I could stay with Mimzy, or Niffty, or Rosie. At least until I can find my own place."
Alastor scoffed, his confidence returning as he uncovered the weak spot in her argument. "With what money? When I found you, you were living in a broken-down hovel, and even then, you could barely keep up with the rent."
There was no way she could leave. She was completely dependent on him.
"I'll use the money I earned from the club," Tina said, "that thanks to you, I haven't had to spend in the last decade."
The corners of his mouth dropped an inch. "H-How much money is that, exactly?"
"Enough." She folded her arms. "So, unless ya gimme a better reason to stay than 'we made a deal,' I'm out."
Alastor could've told her about his plan to conceive then and there. But it hurt that Tina had to ask for a reason to stay.
What happened to the woman who claimed to love him? The one who agreed to be patient with him? The one who made him feel like he was enough?
Except, in her eyes, he wasn't enough. Not enough to get her to stay.
The hurt turned to anger as Alastor stood up and shouted, "You want to get out of here so badly? Well, go on then!" He pointed to the door. "See how long you last out there without me!"
There was a flicker of sadness in Tina's eyes. Then she inhaled sharply.
"Fine."
With her head held high, she turned on her heel and exited the kitchen. Once Alastor fully processed what had just happened, he bolted after her.
He found his wife in her room, packing clothes into an open suitcase on her bed.
"You…weren't joking," he said.
Tina said nothing as she took a handful of jewels from her trunk.
"Darling?" Alastor's voice was sounding more broken by the second. "You can't… Can't we talk about this?"
She sighed as she dropped the jewels into her suitcase. "I think we've already said plenty."
As she continued grabbing essentials, Chesterfield sneakily started unpacking her suitcase. When she caught him, she sent her husband a glare.
"Stop it, Al." Tina waved the shadow away. "If ya really want me to stay so bad, why don't ya just lock me up?"
That was an option, but one the Radio Demon refused to take.
"Are you saying…my love isn't reason enough for you to stay?"
She paused with her back to him.
"Do you…not love me anymore?"
To say she didn't would be a lie. To say she did would make it harder for her to leave.
As she returned to her packing, Alastor removed the vial of Lilith's blood from his jacket. He had no other choice but to tell her.
"What if," he said, hiding the vial behind his back, "I could give you a child?"
Tina turned to him with wide eyes. "What?"
He clutched the vial. "You still want that, don't you? Well, I'll do it. I'll make love to you, I'll start a family with you. You'll be a mother again. Just as you wanted, chère."
She looked at the hand trembling at his side. "You…you would really do that?"
He stretched his smile to its limit. "If it'll convince you to stay, yes."
This was sure to change her mind. She couldn't leave him if she were carrying his child. All Alastor would need to prove his sincerity was show her Lilith's blood.
But to his surprise, Tina did not appear the least bit happy at this prospect, but more distraught than ever.
"You…don't mean it," she muttered.
His grin collapsed. "Y-Yes I do." He held up the vial. "Look, I have—"
But she didn't look. "You'll say just about anything to get me to stay." She slammed her suitcase closed. "We both know it's not what you want."
"But I do! I went to Lu—"
"Just stop it, Al!" As she shouted, she transformed. "Even if I believed you, do you really think now is the time for us to be making babies?!"
Alastor lowered the vial, then tucked it back into his jacket. What good was there explaining the blood's properties if she didn't believe him?
"Then what will it take?" he asked, the radio static in his voice dying. "Tell me what you want from me, mon amour, and I will do it."
This, Tina believed. Especially when she saw the frown on his face and the desperation in his eyes.
It broke her heart. And there was no doubt she was breaking his.
But sometimes a broken heart was necessary to bring a person back to reality.
"I…I want…" Taking a breath, she changed back. "I want some time alone."
"But…" Alastor's bottom lip quivered. "I've given you time alone."
"I know, but…" She winced. "Obviously, that hasn't worked. I just know that I can't think clearly while I'm here. And after last night, I think it's best if we…take a break from each other."
His ears drooped. "U-Until when?"
She shook her head. "I don't know."
He watched as she took a portrait from the wall, revealing a safe. After twisting the dial into the right combination, she opened the safe, took out piles and piles of cash, and placed them into a second suitcase. If Alastor weren't so dismayed right now, he'd question how she'd managed to keep all this money without his knowledge.
Then out of the corner of his eye, something glimmered from Tina's nightstand. It was the ruby ring he'd given to her the night he proposed, right beside her red wedding band.
He picked them up and showed them to her. "These might not have meant much when we first got married, but…" He pointed to the inscription inside the engagement ring. "I certainly meant it when I engraved this."
Tina, with tears in her eyes, took the ruby ring and turned it over to read the phrase: Each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
But how could Alastor love her more than yesterday, after yesterday's events?
"Lies." She threw down the ring. "It's all lies."
"No, no!" he insisted as he bent down to pick it up. "Tina, I've never lied to you!"
"No." She shook her head. "I'm the one who's lied."
Not only had she lied to Alastor, but to herself. That this time would be different. That she wouldn't leech off him, or toy with his emotions, or cast him aside like all her past lovers.
But it seemed that no matter how deeply she cared for somebody, she was incapable of change.
"I'm sorry, Al." Tina shut her suitcases. "I can't do this with ya anymore."
She could not go on hurting him.
So, picking up both suitcases, she walked past him and out of the room. He went after her.
"Shouldn't you take more time to consider this?" He stepped in her way, only for her to flutter over him. "This is a big decision, after all! Maybe wait a week, a month, to see if you still want this? At least come up with a plan!"
She tried to tune him out, but with her sensitive ears and the high volume of his voice, it was impossible.
"Y-You want a place of your own? Alright! I'll build you a house in the swamp like I did for Niffty!" He blocked the front door. "Y-You don't have to put that much space between us, do you?"
His shadow appeared alongside him, shaking its head.
Heaving a sigh, Tina wedged a suitcase in between Alastor and the door, prying him away, then pulled down on the handle with her fingers. Just as the door opened, he grabbed her wrist. She looked back to meet his pleading gaze.
"I-If you don't love me anymore," he said, his voice faltering, "I'll…accept it. You can even take on a lover if that'll make you happy. Just please, Tina, don't go."
He dropped to his knees. "Hate me if you must, but please, I'm begging you, don't leave me here all alone."
The sight was astonishing.
This man, this demon, had the power to keep her here against her will. Yet here he was, on his knees, begging rather than forcing. If Tina had listened to her heart, she would've dropped her luggage, thrown her arms around him, and asked his forgiveness.
But forgiveness was not something that could be given so naively. And if she were to ask her husband to forgive the unforgivable, she would do to him what men like Wilbur and Ethan had done to her.
"Goodbye, Al," she murmured. "I'm sorry."
At those words, the Radio Demon lost the will to fight. Her soft, delicate hand slid from his. Tina turned, walked out, and shut the door behind her.
And just like that, the only thing he cared about in this hellhole was gone forever.
Even at the edge of the swamp, Tina could hear Alastor's sobs from the mansion. She stopped to gaze at the road into Pentagram City, where her independent, lonely future lay.
What was she doing? Was it really smart of her to go off by herself, and leave behind the best thing that had happened to her since her fall to Hell?
For a moment, she considered turning back.
A yank at her ankle caught her attention. Alastor's shadow stretched on the ground in front of her, pointing back towards the house.
"Don't you get involved in this," she said. "If I go back, I'll just end up hurtin' him again. This is what's best. For both of us."
Tears plopped to the ground. Frowning, the shadow stuck its palm out, holding up the two rings she'd rejected five minutes ago.
"No." She walked around the shadow. "That ain't gonna—"
The shadow sprang up from the ground and took her wrist, causing her to drop a suitcase. Tina thought it was going to drag her back to Alastor, until it placed the rings in her hand, gently closing her fingers over them. Then the shadow planted a kiss on her knuckles, before vanishing from sight.
Now she understood. Alastor hadn't sent his shadow to bring her back, but to say goodbye.
He wasn't coming after her. He'd given up.
Tina's tears doubled as she clutched the rings to her chest. It was too late for her to turn back now. Although their marriage remained intact, their relationship was over.
All because of her.
Again. I'm sorry.