To be family

After helping Naruto into some of his own more comfortable clothes Sasuke takes him to the stairs. Standing at the top of it they see Itachi at the entrance saying goodbye to Kakashi. They turn when they hear them and finish their goodbyes, Kakashi giving Itachi a certain look before he leaves. By then the two youngsters have made it to the bottom of the stairs as Itachi turns to them.

"Little brother I see we have a guest. You are Naruto, I presume?" He asks rhetorically.

"Uhm, yeah. That's me. I-it is nice to meet you." Naruto answers awkwardly, experiencing first-hand how perceptive Sasuke's brother is for the first time. His boyfriend really hadn't been kidding about that.

"We need to talk, big brother." Sasuke adds, fearing his brothers judgement of Naruto. The fact that he instantly knew who he was didn't really bode well.

"So it seems. Kakashi has told me a little of our new employee, although my little brother lacked mentioning it. However I am guessing you did not just get the job for the payment, am I correct?"

"I… had indeed ulterior motives…" Naruto admits, looking to the ground for a moment, frowning. Then he looks up. "B-but I do enjoy working at Sharingan. Art has always been my thing so… It… is something Sasuke and I have in common…"

"I see. So how would you define your relationship then?" Itachi asks mercilessly and Sasuke has finally had enough of the interrogation.

"We are soulmates. We are in a relationship. And I love him more than I can ever say." Sasuke says as he swings his arm around his lover for a moment before stepping forward and closer to his brother. "I… I'm sorry I kept this from you… I thought-" He can feel his throat closing, damn how he hated these kinds of confessions. Feeling a hand against his lower back unknotted some of the tension in his chest and he draws as much strength from it as he needs to continue. "I know what you said was true. It wasn't a good relationship and for a while I was a-afraid I'd fall back to that destructive behaviour… But I love him, Tachi. I love him so damn much! And I hate to see him hurt! I want to protect him from getting hurt! I wish I could have protected him!" Seeing how his breathing fastens, Itachi moves forward and places a hand on his shoulder.

"Easy little brother. I believe you."

"I-I'm sorry for keeping this from you…" Sasuke says, pushing the tears away with all his might while taking deep breaths. If he had looked over his shoulder he would find watery blue eyes watching him with such understanding and admiration that it would surely have pulled him over the edge. He doesn't however and manages to somewhat compose himself. How could the feeling of disappointing someone be so incredibly painful? "I've kept so much from you and it made me distance myself from you so you wouldn't find out. So I wouldn't disappoint you. But," and he takes a deep breath. "I promise that is over now. I won't lie to you again about things that impact my life this much." He steadily, determinately looks his brother in his eyes. Courageously he awaits his brothers reaction.

"Sasuke." Itachi says as he takes a step forward and puts a hand against his younger brother's cheek. "I understand why you would feel like you had to hide this from me. I might have been too harsh, if not dismissive of the situation. Regardless, little brother, I know you. I know what goes on in that head of yours." And he pokes him on the forehead in that familiar way that instantly eases Sasuke's heart. "Like I told you two nights ago, there is no reason for you to fear that I would be disappointed in you. It hurts when I think of how you are no longer wishing to share everything that happens to you with me. I hope we might go back to that." Itachi hesitates for a bit before he looks away to come back from that. "Although, it could also mean you are just growing up and are no longer that adorable little feral kitten I know."

"Tachi!" Sasuke blushes at the childhood nickname his brother had for him. "Me growing up just means that you are growing old." Sasuke smirks and Itachi scoffs while Naruto smiles at the brotherly banter between them.

"Is that so? Well then, we might as well take a seat as we continue to talk further." Itachi says as he walks towards the chair in the living room, placing his bag with work related stuff next to it.

"I'd rather keep standing." Sasuke says and Itachi turns around with one brow raised.

"Sasuke…" Naruto says while putting a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to…"

"Something else I should know?" Itachi asks. "Does it have to do with what you said earlier? About wishing you could have protected him?" Sasuke nods. "From you?" For a moment Sasuke glares at his brother before closing his eyes, balling his fists at his side.

"No. He was hurt by someone whom doesn't know the meaning of consent." Sasuke spats the words and swallows hard as he feels anger rushing over him again, despite Naruto holding on to his arm. "All I can think about is how I want to kill the son of a bitch after what he did to my boyfriend! I hate him! And I hate that I wasn't there to protect Naru… And," He turns to the blond as he continues, "I hate that I can't ease the suffering that follows. The nightmares, the fear, the anger you must feel… I hate him so much I want to inflict a thousand times more pain on him than you feel…"

"Sasuke…" Naruto starts, putting a hand on his boyfriends cheek, ignoring Itachi whom silently witnesses it all. "I want to kill him too. After torturing him, then we'll burry him and raise him back to life again so you can torture him before we burn him. I want to hurt him! But not for what he did to me, but the pain that he caused you through me…" Sasuke sniffs as they push their foreheads together, both closing their eyes and a tear slips down Naruto's cheek. "I love you and I wish you wouldn't be so hurt by what I've been through… If anything it makes me hate them even more…"

"When did this happen?" Itachi softly, gently asks in the short silence that fell.

"Last night." Naruto answers as he and Sasuke part a bit, though both look at the ground. "At my parents acquaintances estate."

"Do your parents know?" Itachi asks and Naruto scoffs with a sarcastic laugh at that.

"Yes they know. If it weren't for them it wouldn't have happened. They were the ones who gave him the wrong idea! If it weren't for that he wouldn't have- I wouldn't have been-" Breathing fast Naruto cannot seem to say it, though the words echo in his mind, forming an condemning curse. I've been rape! I've been violated! he forced himself on me! in me! he took me! I've been used by him! He raped me! Goes the mantra at nearly the same rhythm of Sai's hips slamming against his behind while he did exactly that. The memory, the trauma rushes over him with such a clarity that for a moment he's back there again. Being pinned down, the smell that wasn't right, the moment he realized it wasn't his boyfriend who's hips ended up between his thighs and the pain, that splitting, tearing pain of the moment he got torn open as his rapist penetrated him. It makes his knees buckle and no air seems enough to wash the memory away. It takes him a while before he realizes that if it weren't for his lover he'd have slumped down on the ground, Sasuke holding him tightly, his shirt wet with the tears he's apparently been spilling for he feels his face is a puffy and wet mess. "I hate them! I hate my parents for letting this happen!" He chokes out and he's grateful Sasuke holds him tighter and he pulls him closer just as much as he wished he could just disappear in him. To share his body and leave his own broken and abused one that keeps pulling him back to that moment and the anger he feels towards his parents.

"Shh. It's going to be okay Naruto. It's over now. It will take time but-" Sasuke tries to calm him, feeling his heart break at seeing his soulmate so.

"No it's not over!" Naruto shouts as he leans away from Sasuke, making space between them quickly. "They want us to pay! They d-dare demand money f-for it-"

"What? Naru, what are you saying?" Sasuke's eyes widen and he and Itachi stand more alert. Naruto had not mentioned this before.

"They want us to pay compensation money for me blinding him after I threw the glass in his face after dad pulled him off me!" Naruto fumes, balling his fists so tightly that he feels his nails digging into his palms. Sasuke's breath quickens and his anger overtakes him instantly as soon as he realized what Naruto had said. That they basically ask money from his boyfriend for being raped.

"Those fucking bastards!" Sasuke roars as he manages to overthrow the lazy chair nearby, kicking it for good measure as his anger got the better of him. He barely hears Itachi trying to pull him back from that red daze.

"Take a deep breath little brother."

"No!" Sasuke replies angrily and he storms towards Naruto, slightly alarming Itachi whom stands by to interfere in case his little brother ends up hurting the one person he loves the most. He doesn't however and merely holds his boyfriend by his upper arms, looking him into his eyes. "Listen to me Naruto, you don't pay them anything! They don't deserve a single coin, you hear?! You don't owe them anything!"

"But if I don't they'll take it to court!"

"Let them! It was self-defence, for fuck sake!"

"Was it?!" Naruto swats Sasuke's hands away. "Dad had already struck him when he pulled him of me, he was down to the ground."

"It was a logical reaction! It still counts as self-defence."

"And what if they say I asked for it? I didn't push him away after all, not at first."

"Only because you thought he was me because you were still half asleep! Naru, you did nothing wrong!" Sasuke reaches out to him again but Naruto takes a step back.

"Even if that's true. Sasuke, I'll have to relive it all over again! T-tell some stranger every detail- I c-can't-" Naruto's anger makes place for sadness and fear and despair. As his shoulders start to shock Sasuke moves in and pulls him close. "I'm so sick of reliving it… I'm so tired, so exhausted, Sasuke… It's his word against mine, there is no proof… I can't keep-"

"I get it. You don't have to. We'll figure this out. I'm sure there is another way…" Sasuke tries to reassure him, but even to his own ears his words sound shallow and with unspilled tears still in his eyes he looks pleadingly at his brother. "Right?" He mouths so Naruto won't hear his doubt. Itachi stifles a sigh as he steps forward. They seem so fragile, like scared little children that need an adult to tell them all would be well.

"Listen to me, both of you." Itachi says and he places a hand on each of their shoulder, both turning to look at him though they don't let go of each other. "I know you are worried, but a decision does not need to be made within the day. You are not alone in this. A solution to this problem will come, but it is best to tackle one problem at the time instead of trying to solve them all at once. Right now, Naruto, all you need to focus on, all you need to put your energy into is healing. Physically first, mentally comes later. The best way to heal physically is to give your body the rest it needs. It will give you the strength to heal mentally." Both boys nod and Naruto dries his eyes. "Sasuke, give him all he needs to get that rest. I suggest you come find me after you've tucked him in?" Itachi smiles softly. Sasuke smiles back and when Naruto leans his head against his shoulder he kisses it.

"Laying down does sound good right now…" Naruto says tiredly and Sasuke takes it as his que to scoop him up bridal style.

"Thank you, big brother." Sasuke says before he walks towards the stairs.

"You know where to find the painkillers and I could prepare a sleep beverage tonight if either one of you need it." Itachi ads before letting them go.

"Well, as far as first impressions go that went rather well…" Naruto says sarcastically while his boyfriend adjusts the blankets around him.

"It really doesn't matter Naruto. If anything it shows how brave and strong you are. I'm sure my brother was impressed. I know I was." Sitting at the edge of the bed Sasuke leans down and kisses his lover tenderly on his lips.

"You think so?"

"Yeah. My brother wouldn't be keen on people who pretend to be perfect to make a good impression. This was the real you, no denying that. Besides, it most certainly isn't a first meeting he would forget." Sasuke smirks and Naruto pouts.

"Which is a good thing why?" He asks and Sasuke's smirk turns into a tender smile.

"Because I don't ever intend to introduce anyone else as my boyfriend to him." Naruto can feel his heart skip a beat and he leans on one arm to pull his soulmate into a kiss which quickly deepens. Sasuke lets him dominate the kiss, enjoying the eagerness with which Naruto wishes to convey how much it means to him to hear such words. Their tongues swirl around each other and as he pushes his own tongue into his lovers mouth Sasuke groans while lowering down so Naruto's head lays on the pillow again. Naruto moans in answer, his hand holding black locks at the back of Sasuke's head a bit tighter. Sasuke thinks of how much he loves this, this passionate kissing, the closeness and even the heat that courses all through his body at hearing such a delightful sound. Feeling the heat course towards his groin that twitches with desire he pulls back a bit. When he opens his eyes Naruto is smiling at him, his red kissed lips proof of their heated kiss and making him look so much more desirable that Sasuke can feel another twitch of his all too eager cock. It has been far too long after all since he had given it the type of attention it yearns for. He knows however that he cannot satisfy that type of desire right now, probably not for a long while. But that's just fine, he'll manage. Such discomfort was nothing compared to the discomfort his counterpart was feeling.

"I love you, Sasuke." Naruto says with tears shimmering in his eyes. "So much…" So easy to tears, he really must be tired.

"I love you to, my beloved." Sasuke says and he shortly noses him before kissing his forehead. "Get some sleep. I'm sure my talk with Itachi won't be long and then I'll be right here if you need me." Tiredly Naruto nods, his eyelids feeling far too heavy to stay open any longer.

"How long ago did you two get back together?" Itachi asks while powering each of them a cup of tea as Sasuke sits down on the couch with a weary sigh.

"We first started out as friends, this time. After he suddenly showed up at Sharingan we went out to get lunch together to talk some things over and we agreed to being friends, which was fine by me. That he wanted to be in my life at all was something I was incredibly grateful for…" Sasuke smiles softly at the memory of what they both agreed on was their first date, although they hadn't really established yet that they were a couple, quite the opposite in fact since they basically friend zoned each other that day. "It feels like a lifetime ago…"

"The two of you have been through a lot since, I imagine." Itachi nods as he had taken place on the couch next to his younger brother. Sasuke nods.

"After that we went out as a group, just us colleagues. Which… did not go well in the end…" Sasuke swallows as he stares into the steam coming from his tea, his mind thrown back to that moment. "This guy tried to lure Naru away, having obvious motives. Naruto had never been to such a place so he didn't see it. I pulled him away from that guy, warned him, we argued in front of the club and then he stormed off as I was held back by that stupid girl I had to do that photoshoot with. You know, the pink one." Sasuke dismissively waves with his hand, a disgusted look on his face at the memory of her and how she clung to him.

"I remember. The one you would endlessly complain about after the dance photoshoot. Our communication back then might still not have been the best, you did manage to convey that much to me." Itachi smirks at him with a fondness in his eyes.

"He had run into an alley to get away from me. The guy from before was there and I'm glad I still chased after him so I could stop him from hurting my Naru. He had lackeys though and t-they grabbed us both…" Sasuke frowns as the memory comes back to him. He had pushed it away, determined not to think about it as things had ended well in the end. He doesn't really realize he speaks out loud at the memory. "They'd speak vulgarly about taking us. Promising to make us watch as they'd have their way with us. T-that bastard licked Naru's neck and one of the other two who h-held me groped me a-and, uhm…" Sasuke's breath had sped up as he was talking and Itachi worriedly scoots closer as he tries to gain his little brother's attention to pull him back to the here and now. Sasuke doesn't hear him though, not at first, as he was reliving the moment. He had been so focussed on Naruto, his rage clouding his mind enough that he didn't pay any attention to what was being done to him at the time. Now he remembers it more clearly. The way some strangers hand had fully grabbed his private parts in such a strong clasp that it had hurt. Not just that, but it felt so wrong, so foreign, so vulgar.

"Sasuke…" Itachi says once more with a gentleness in his voice, pushing away the rage that he feels burning in his core at hearing what some sick bastards had done to his little brother. He carefully reaches an arm around his shoulders and he holds still as he notices how Sasuke tenses at the contact. After a short moment Sasuke seems to come back to the now as he slumps against his brother and Itachi holds him protectively while he trembles.

"It felt so wrong…" Sasuke manages to croak out as the intensity of the memory slowly fades. "Everything about that entire situation was w-wrong." A sob manages to burst through his body as he had been trying so hard to suppress it. "I-I couldn't do anything! If Naru hadn't found a way to break free of his h-hold, i-if we hadn't been able to e-escape-" Another sob escaped him and the tears finally break through. Itachi holds him tighter, resting his chin on his younger sibling's head. There was more Sasuke wanted to say, thoughts that crowded his mind so much and in such quick succession that speaking them aloud would perhaps be the only way to create some room in his head to think more clearly again. But his throat seemed clogged with his tears and it felt like even breathing was a struggle. It had felt vulgar, wrong, helpless, hopeless and so terribly frightening. Those were his feelings about it and all that was done to him was that they groped him. That bastard had licked his boyfriend's neck! Naru had felt so so much more and so much more strongly when that sick son of a bitch had raped him last night! Wrong, vulgar, helpless. If those were the words he used for just being groped, then the words to describe his boyfriends feelings right now just didn't exist. The despair that overcomes him is so strong, knowing that was the feeling he got at the chance of them being raped in front of each other, while his lover had actually experienced it now. Even that word was not strong enough for the emotions his Naru must be feeling. How could things possibly be right again then? How could anyone recover from such feelings when they cannot even be put into words?

"I can't do anything! I'm completely helpless. I-it's like I'm standing on the side-line, just watching as the two most important people in my life get hurt and I can't do anything to help them!" Sasuke agonizes and Itachi holds him tighter, feeling his own throat close up.

"Shh, Sasuke. It is not your task to fix us. I know you're hurting. That you're worried. But my dear little brother," Itachi moves back a bit so he can make Sasuke look at him before he continues. "You might feel helpless, you might wish that you could do so much more for us as we deal with our trauma's, but you are helping. By being here, by caring for us, loving us and showing us that you do. Sasuke, I-" Itachi has to swallow hard as the tears had filled his eyes now to. "I wish I could tell you all would be fine again. That everything would, with time, go back to how it was before… But the truth is, and you yourself know this better than most, that these scars on our souls do form us. It could make us stronger or tear us down, pulling us into darkness. The only way it can make us stronger is with support of those who love us, and dear little brother you are already doing exactly that." He cups Sasuke's face, wiping a tear from his cheekbone.

"Am I?" Sasuke asks doubtful. "What if I only make it harder for you to move on? By making you worried about me instead of spending time on your own wellbeing. A-and Naru? How could he ever feel comfortable in his own skin again? How could we ever go back to even being able to be together like before last night happened? How could he ever forgive his parents? I don't know how to help him with that! W-what if I make it worse? How could I possibly help him come to terms with something that, t-that is so big, so, so…"

"Sasuke." Itachi stifles a sigh as he gains the raven's attention. "Are you a therapist?"

"What?" Sasuke frowns at the sudden, strange and unexpected question that seemed completely irrelevant. "No."

"Then you should not be the one to worry about these kinds of questions. You are not the one to help us come to terms with what happened. That's what therapists are for. As for being able to move on with our lives, I do wish to believe we can as long as we keep motivated to do so. That is something you can help with by, like I said, supporting us, even in the times it gets hard."

"I guess so…" Sasuke mumbles softly as he looks down and he remains quiet for a while.

"Did they do anything else to you?" Itachi dares to ask after giving his little brother some time and Sasuke can hear the ice in his voice.

"No. Naruto managed to hurt the guy that was holding him, surprising the ones holding me." He sniffs and dries his tears. "We managed to get away by throwing some trash in their path as they tried to follow us. Got a slight concussion out of it but I actually got to use those material arts skills so I think I gave them more than a few bruises too..." He shrugs and smirks softly while Itachi hums in approval.

"And that's what brought you two back together." Itachi concludes.

"Uhm, no not really. Though I think we both wanted to by then. I just really wanted to take it slow… Even though it felt like torture sometimes…" Sasuke sighs before finishing up his recap of recent events. "We got together after the news of the earthquake. Heard it at work, he followed me home, tried to comfort me. I tried to… To hurt him, to push him away… But he stayed. Even though I lashed out at him, he wouldn't leave me." Sasuke smiles at the memory, his heart swelling with love for his blond idiot. Itachi smiles tenderly at the look on his little brother's face as he relives the memory. "He promised to be my lifeline. So e-even without you I'd still have him… Not that I think that would have been enough. But he tried for me and then you called and well… I guess all the tension came to a climax…" He mumbled the last line and instantly his face became all hot and undoubtedly very, very red at the memory of what had happened next. Itachi chuckles as he notices no doubt.

"I'm guessing you did have a lot of catching up to do." As Sasuke looks up he finds his brother smirking knowingly at him, making his little brother even more flustered.

"S-shut up! That's not- I mean we did but- It's not like we, ah… I w-was really exhausted so- Damn it, Tachi! Stop laughing!" Sasuke pouts while feeling immensely uncomfortable and flustered about his brother's prying. "It's none of your goddamn business." He growls as Itachi finally stops chuckling at his little brother's antics.

"Language, Sasuke." He says and the other growls annoyed as response. "Though you are absolutely right that it is none of my business. As long as neither one of you gets hurt."

"Don't worry. We're not doing that, anymore…" Sasuke sighs. "By the way about that therapy thing earlier…"

"Hn?" Itachi indicates him to continue.

"I-I think I need to go to one too, again." Sasuke admits softly while looking away.

"Hn, I think that wise. What made you decide so?"

"Within the past 24 hours or so I've had already two panic attacks, with hyperventilation and all that…"

"Sasuke…" Itachi places a hand on his cheek to make him look at him. For a moment he seems to observe his younger sibling closely before his eyes soften. "I am sorry all of this has had such an impact on you. I do think it is indeed best that you talk to someone too. I'm proud of you that you came to that conclusion all on your own, little brother." They smile at each other for that. "Do you want the same one we had last?"

"I think so… It is the only one that stuck." Sasuke says as he leans back a bit so Itachi lets him go. He puts a hand to his chin as he thinks it over. "Naruto would have to need one too… I did talk to a friend of mine whose boyfriend went through the same thing some years ago and whom Naru could probably talk to, when he's ready that is." He then looks up to his older sibling. "Should we set things in motion in finding a therapist for him or is that something for his parents to do?" Itachi shakes his head.

"You wish to go to fast, Sasuke. Let Naruto focus on healing and regaining his strength. There is a lot to think about but not all questions need an immediate answer. We can talk about it with Naruto when he feels ready." Sasuke nods and then yawns. "Perhaps you should get some rest, little brother. You look exhausted."

"I am. When Naru called last night I snuck out to go to him for I could hear something was wrong. So I didn't get much sleep again." Another yawn overcomes him as he tries to stretch his sleepy muscles awake again. "Problem is that I've got school tomorrow and I'm way behind. I intend to at least finish one essay so I won't get detention for missing that one."

"Surely they understand your situation with you nearly losing me?" Itachi asks as Sasuke stands up and he chuckles before answering.

"No, not Ibiki. That man is terrifying and very strict about the deadlines."

"Then I suggest you work till lunch and then take a powernap before working on it a few hours more. Best you make it an early night tonight." Sasuke nods as his brother stands up.

"What did they say at the hospital?" He remembers asking before going back to his room.

"Basically that you and Kakashi have nothing to worry about." Itachi answers with a sigh and Sasuke gives him a look that lets him know he won't get of that easy. "Nothing we already didn't know. A concussion, the cast around my lower arm has to stay for a few weeks longer and some minor bruises that will likely have healed by the end of the week. Satisfied?" He asks with a raised brow and Sasuke smirks before he nods. He then walks to his brother to give him a hug.

"Thank you for accepting him. For helping him, us, deal with all this." Itachi hugs him back shortly before they move apart and they smile at each other.

"Of course, little brother. Naruto is part of the family now."

Naruto takes a deep breath with closed eyes, holding it for four seconds before letting go again. When he opens his eyes again he looks over the pink-purple sky and the fluffy clouds that softly flow around him. He vaguely remembers having been here before, but his thoughts seem as clouded as his environment and he doesn't pay the feeling much attention. It's a comfortingly warm place and the fact that he stands there all naked doesn't bother him at all. Even less so as he feels two hands on his chest and soft lips that kiss him between his collarbones. He notices the black hair and hums in approval as the hands slide lower and the person in front of him trails kisses down, down, down. Eyes half lidden he looks down an notices the warm, dark eyes that look back at him while he's kissed on his thigh. Naruto's breathing speeds up and he can't help the moan as his semi-hard dick is being touched. He throws his head back as he feels the kisses getting closer and closer while a hand pumps his quickly hardening member. When the head of his cock is pushed into such hot wetness he feels overwhelmed with desire and heat. He wants more, needs to feel more of his cock slipping down the throat that surrounds it. He grabs the dark locks of hair with both hands and he can't help but moan as he pushes his dick deeper into that hot cavern that so readily seems to welcome him.

"Yes, oh fuck, yes…" The blond moans as he starts to thrust his hips in a slow but deep phase.

It is when someone shows up behind him that he starts to become more aware all of a sudden of his surroundings. Feeling a hard dick against his behind as this person presses himself up against him a sudden fear overcomes him. As a reflex he swats the one behind him away, pushing him out of arms reach. Only when he turns to properly look at him does his expression change into one of horror as he realises what he has done.
Sasuke stares back at him wide-eyed and in shock, which turns quickly into a look of betrayal. Looking down he finds it was Sai whom had been sucking him off, his cock still deep down the other's throat as it seemed like he had turned into stone. He was looking up at Naruto with half lidded eyes, clearly enjoying what he had been doing even though he seemed from stone now. Naruto barely managed to look back at Sasuke in time before his boyfriend slipped of the edge of the cloud they were on. He tried to reach out to him, his arm stretching the raven's way to grab his hand, but he couldn't reach him for the stone around his dick seemed to spread further over his own body. He could do nothing but watch his boyfriend fall after he had pushed him away in favour of the rapist that was sucking his dick.

Naruto wakes with a sob, laying on his side and feeling such a strong wave of guilt wash over him instantly that he fears he could drown in it. Or rather he wishes he could. How could he have done that? How could he have betrayed Sasuke so? Not just in the dream but in reality too. Again he remembers how it had started. How he had dreamed of making out with his boyfriend, thinking he came to lay behind him in the very same bed he was laying in right now. How he had turned his head to kiss his rapist eagerly, deeply and filled with lust. How he had enjoyed the body of this other man against his. He had moaned in delight as Sai sucked his neck and he had pushed his ass against his erection that had made him want it so badly. He had called him amazing hadn't he? It was meant for Sasuke, but was that really the case if it was Sai who had been making him feel that way? He had wanted it, when those foreign fingers moved over his ass, -fully naked and accessible because he had stripped of his underwear himself!- and when they touched his hole he had practically begged Sai to take him. So was it really rape? Hadn't he coerced Sai into taking him, seduced him even? Even if he could prove that Sai had forcefully entered him, there was no denying that he had wanted it at first. He had wanted to be filled by a dick so, so badly that really it wouldn't have mattered by whose. Would I have even realized anything if Sai had stayed behind me and had fingered my ass properly before putting his dick in? Would I really have stopped him if I realized it wasn't Sasuke halfway through and release was already pressing? Naruto wonders and another shaky sob rocks his body as he curls up as much as he dares, feeling the ever present pain from his hole. And yet Sasuke reacts with such understanding, such love and patience. I don't deserve it! I don't deserve him. I hate it that he cares so much that he's so gentle with me. If only he would shout at me, get angry with me and perhaps ravage me like a wild animal marking his territory. Perhaps then I wouldn't feel so guilty… That's what I'd deserve for letting someone else touch me like only he is supposed to! Naruto remembers fleetingly their second time, how Sasuke had reacted when he had told him he was late for school because someone tried to molest him. -Seriously did he have some big board hanging on his back that said 'any dick will do and I like to be forced' or something?!- Sasuke had kissed him fiercely and taken him right then and there in the janitor closet. Possessively so. He had felt like Sasuke was claiming him again after someone else tried to lay their hands on him. It had felt right! But now… Now Sasuke was afraid of hurting him. And Naruto felt more alone for it. For he deserved it, deserved the pain, deserved to be claimed by Sasuke for allowing someone else to fuck him. But I also know that that isn't what he wants. He wants to love me, care for me because he does, no matter what I do… If even in my dreams I'd let others satisfy me, yet all he does is support me, I- How could I possibly deserve him, give him the happiness he so devotedly wishes to give me?! What is wrong with me that I still want him to hurt me, even after all this time? I hate it! I hate myself for feeling this way! Naruto bites his teeth as he hides his face into the pillow while tears flow down his face and he feels his wounded shoulder throbbing with the painful beating of his heart. He can't stop the sobs that rock his body as he is overcome by wave after wave of such deep and dark self-loathing.

To be continued…

I do apologize for the sad note this chapter ended on. I can imagine however, having been trhough such a trauma couses doubt to set in eventually as depression and exhaustion percist... Please leave me a comment to let me know you are all still there, wanting for more of this fic. I promise things will get better between them next chapter and since Sasuke will be going back to school soon Naruto will be left with Itachi alone which will provide them with ample opportunity to bond as well. (Or you know, Itachi probably sharing embarassing stories of little feral kitten Sasuke.) ^.^