hey everyone, just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I really appreciate the support. I just finished this one and I like how it turned out. Side note I'm still waiting for Messaged on suggestions for One shots for this story. I can't start until I get suggestions so please if you can message or comment. Anyway here it is, Enjoy.
"What?!" I shouted. How could I have lost two and half months? That's two and a half months closer to train day. Two and a half months I could have used to practice my powers. Two and a half months I could have used to come up with a plan to save Bucky. Two and a half months I could have spent with my soul mates.
"Nora, you need to calm down." Steve said. I hadn't noticed but I was shaking and it was starting to get hard to breathe. I was hyperventilating.
"This can't be happening." I managed to choke out.
"Doll, it's okay. Just take it slow. Breathe in. Hold it and out." Bucky said trying to get me to slow my breathing. Crap, Crap, Crap, this is so bad.
"I am so, so sorry. I don't know why this happened." Actually I had a hunch. That last time jump was painful. My entire body was burning and it felt like something was stabbing my stomach over and over again. Then there was the fact I was in the same room with future me. If that doesn't spell trouble I don't know what does.
"Nora you're back, that's all that matters." Steve said rubbing my back reassuringly.
"Where did you end up going?" Bucky asked.
"I ended up with my dad a couple of years ahead of my time but before the last time I saw him. Got to meet his work friends. I got turned back to my own age, and then we went out for dinner and drinks. I made breakfast the next morning and then I got sent back." I explained.
"That explains the clothes." Gramps said. I looked down and realized I was still wearing the clothes Wanda had given me.
"Yeah the clothes I wore as a three and a half year old kind of didn't fit when I grew up." I said.
"They look good. Very fitted." Bucky said smirking. Steve was actually checking my ass out. He saw that I caught him staring and blushed.
"They're comfy. I missed wearing skinny jeans. Are you two done debriefing? I'd kind of like to go home and shower. I smell like that bar my Dad and I ended up in last night." I say.
"Yeah we're done." Steve said helping me stand up.
"Not so fast Rogers. Have to run some tests to make sure everything's in order." Gramps said.
"But Gramps…" I whined.
"Nope, you disappear as a kid and come back as an adult almost three months later you get checked out right away. No exceptions." He said sternly.
"Great." I muttered.
"We'll wait." Bucky said adamantly.
"It's okay, you guys can go back to the apartment. I'll meet you there." I said.
"Nora we'll wait." Steve said.
"Guys go home. You just got back from a mission. Go home, shower; maybe even get dinner started cause I'm starving. Gramps will give me a ride back when we're done." I told them.
"Last time we left you two alone, you disappeared for two and a half months Nora" Bucky said getting a bit teary eyed.
"I'm not going anywhere. I have a feeling it'll be a while before I have another time jump." I said.
Bucky and Steve looked at each other before they both sighed.
"Fine, we'll meet you back home, but if you're not back in two hours we're coming back." Steve said.
"I'll be back before then." I promised. Before hugging them and walking back to the lab with gramps.
As soon as we walked in he turned to look at me and said, "Say it."
"Say what?" I asked.
"Whatever's bothering you? You keep avoiding eye contact and putting your hand on you're stomach when you think no one's looking." He said. I kept forgetting how easy it was for him to read me.
"Things got complicated in the future."
"How complicated?" he said.
"When the jump started, it hurt. It felt like I was on fire and like something was stabbing my stomach. I couldn't even stand because of it." I told him.
"I thought you said they never hurt?" He said concerned.
"They don't but something triggered this one. Normally I feel the stone's energy spread slowly. I get the chills and then a minute or so later I start glowing. This time I didn't feel that. The pain started out of nothing and I think I might know what triggered it."
"What do you mean?"
"Before I came back I was making breakfast for my Dad and as I was about to sit down, an older version of me appeared out of thin air."
"What!? Nora do you have any idea how bad that is?"
"I know, a paradox waiting to happen. I interfered in my own timeline, the one thing I've been trying to avoid at all costs." I practically yelled out.
"What exactly happened?" He said.
"Just like I told you. I was about to sit down when future me appears out of thin air and starts talking to my dad. She looks at me says shit. I say fuck as we stare at each other and then I start to feel a pain in my stomach and my body on fire before I'm back in here." I explained.
"Well that isn't too bad right? It's not like she told you things to avoid in the future. You were in the same room for less than a minute. I don't think you should worry too much about it." Gramps says.
"Maybe but I can't help but feel like this is going to come back to bite me in the ass later on."
"If it does you'll deal with it, until then I need another blood sample and you're getting a full work up. We don't know how de-aging and aging rapidly along with a time jump affected you. We have to make sure every things working the way it should be." He said going to get the first aid kit. I rolled up my sleeve and waited for Gramps to started drawing blood.
"By the way, Happy belated birthday. Sorry I missed it." I said apologetically.
"I somehow end up turning you into a toddler and make you disappear for two and a half months and you're apologizing to me. Only you Nora." He said with a chuckle.
"So I have to ask, is there anything I need to know before I go face the firing squad." I said.
"Nora you were gone for a while and the last time I they saw you, you were a toddler. Expect them to beat your side constantly. They also have a few questions for you." Gramps said looking away.
"What type of questions?" I said starting to get a bit nervous.
"I think you should just wait until they ask you."
"Gramps…" I said trying to get him to look at me.
"And we're done," he said changing the subject.
"Sure we are." I said giving him a look but he just acted like he didn't see it.
"Jarvis is outside. Lets go before Barnes and Rogers come back for you." He said leading me out.
Jarvis was indeed outside and he was shocked to see me. "Miss stark" he said shocked to see me or it might have been what I was wearing. I'm going to go with the former.
"Jarvis, good to see you again. I wanted to say thank you for babysitting me when I was a kid. I know I was a bit of a handful." I said.
"It was no trouble Nora." He said. I had to smile at that. It was the first time I didn't have to correct him and ask him to just call me Nora.
"Either way thank you. I'm sure Gramps would have been clueless as to how to deal with a toddler without you around." I said.
"I would have figured it out eventually." Gramps said.
"Yeah, when I was eighteen again." I retorted.
"Very funny." He snarked.
"Admit it you missed me." I said.
"I did miss my wing man. I need someone to set me up with a good, honest, stable one nightstand. This dry spell is killing me." He complained.
"Oh come on, I'm sure you got lucky on your birthday." I said.
"I did, but her dad wasn't happy." Gramps said.
"Of course her dad wasn't happy." I answered.
"Nora I got drunk and ended up spending the night with Sally Mae." Gramps answered.
"What!?" I yelled. "Gramps do you not remember how hard it was to get her to leave you alone last time or the fact that you can no longer go to your favorite bar because of her?"
"Trust me I remember. I was just having a bad day and the person who normally keeps me grounded disappeared."
"Oh." I felt guilty at that. "You didn't have it easy did you?"
"Well first I got yelled at by Philips and Peggy. Then Barnes and Rogers get back and almost kill me, again. I get stuck flying back and forth between London, Chicago and New York for three weeks. By the time I'm back some rich snob took my suite at the Dorchester so now I have a crappy view…" I had to laugh at that last complaint.
"Nora I'm serious. I share a wall with the honeymoon suite all those loud newlyweds keep me up half the night." I blurt out laughing uncontrollably just imagining what Gramps must hear.
"I'd offer you our spare room but I don't think we're any better. Seriously someone should have given Erskine a medal. That super soldier refractory period, I mean wow."
"Nora…" Gramps started but I just kept talking.
"And don't even get me started on Bucky. My god man, the day before we got back to London from Paris we…"
"Nora! Stop okay. I keep imagining that adorable three and a half year old telling me all of this." He says.
"Ehem," Jarvis coughed to clear his throat. "Sir, we have arrived."
"Thank you Jarvis." Gramps said very relieved this conversation was at its end.
"Time to go face the firing squad." I said opening the door.
"Be patient with them Nora. You didn't see how they reacted when they found out you were gone again." He said seriously. The look he was giving me made me worry. It was no secret Gramps and the guys had a rocky relationship. He and Steve got along pretty well. Bucky and him though, they got along like cats and dogs. I secretly think Gramps did like Bucky but just liked to mess with him too much.
"I will, see you later." I said getting out of the car and making my way upstairs. I stood at the door and was about to grab my keys when I realized I didn't have them with me. Bucky and Steve were home so the door was probably unlocked. I reached out for the door handle but when I did the door opened.
Bucky stood there with the door open. "You're back!" He said cheerfully
"I am, just like I said I'd be." I said walking in. He pulled me in for a hug and I kissed him. I was about to pull away when he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in closer to deepen the kiss. It wasn't until I was running low on oxygen that he finally let me go. As soon as he did Steve spun me around and gave me a bone-crushing hug.
"Ow, Steve, sweetie, not all of us are super soldiers." I reminded him. He loosened his hold on me but bent down to kiss me. Then he let me go.
"Sorry I missed you." He turned to look at Bucky. "We missed you." He corrected.
"I missed you guys too and I'm sorry I was gone so long. I didn't expect that to happen. I thought I already had a handle on aiming when I return but apparently not." I said a bit mad at myself.
"You came back, that's all that matters." Bucky said.
"Dinner's almost ready. Spaghetti and Meatballs." Steve said.
"Sounds good I'm starving. I made breakfast for my dad and his friends but I time jumped before I got to eat any." I said.
"Well lucky for you there's plenty to go around." Steve said.
"Yay, I'll go set the table." I said going to set that up.
Dinner was quiet, like awkwardly quiet. Bucky and Steve kept exchanging looks when they thought I wasn't looking. I was on my second serving when I addressed the elephant in the room.
"Okay, what's going on?" I blurted out.
"What? Nothings going on." Bucky tried to shrug off.
"We just missed you is all." Steve answered a bit too fast.
"Bull, guys I know I was gone a while but I know when you two have something to say so just say it. If your angry, let it out, yell scream do something. But tiptoeing around is just uncomfortable for all of us." I say.
"Nora, we're not angry its just…" Steve started before Bucky just blurted out what was really on his mind.
"Are you pregnant?!" He blurted out.
"What?!" I said. Out of everything I was expecting that definitely wasn't one of them.
"Bucky," Steve said reprimanding him. Then he turned to me and said, "But are you?"
"What?! No, why would you think that?" I said.
"Well, before you turned into a four year old…" Steve started.
"Three and a half actually." I corrected.
"Well before that, you started acting weird. You were eating a lot more than normal, you were tired all the time, and Steve heard you puking one morning." Bucky explained.
"And I told Steve it was the weird fish platter I ate the night before for dinner. I did tell you it tasted off." I said looking at him.
"Well we remembered that the night the three of us got back together on Steve's birthday, we didn't use condoms. Or the last time we were together in Paris." Bucky said smiling a bit at the memory.
"Yeah, I guess I should probably explain that. Um, there's no easy way to say this so here goes. Remember a few months ago when I told you the stone is stopping me from aging? That's not the only thing it's stopped. I can't get pregnant." I said swallowing a lump in my throat. The room went quiet. Bucky and Steve were frozen where they stood, staring into space. I think I figured out what Gramps was trying to warn me about.
"When the aging stopped so did my period and you kind need that to you know make a baby." I said trying to get them to react. They were still standing in place saying nothing. "So I'm going to let you two process that while I clean up." I said standing up and turning around so they didn't see me cry.
"I need a smoke." Bucky said going to the fire escape.
"I'm going for a walk," Steve said heading out the door.
I knew this was going to be hard to take but I wasn't expecting this. I washed all the dishes and cleared the table. Both of them were still outside so I figured I'd go cry in the shower. Get two things done in one go.
I was going to use the shower in our room, or what used to be our room but decided against it. I think they needed space for a bit so I walked to the spare room and used the bathroom in there. I was in the shower crying my eyes out thinking I was probably going to have to move back in with Gramps when I heard the door to the apartment slam closed. Guess Steve's back.
I stood under the showerhead until the hot water ran out and I had no choice but to get out. I looked at myself in the mirror, with my red puffy eyes and runny nose. I thought I had this handled, but apparently I don't. I was just compartmentalizing it and avoiding thinking about it but that's just it, you can't run away from your problems. I got dressed and got out of the bathroom. I heard Steve and Bucky talking but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Eventually I heard them come in from the fire escape and close the window.
Then there was a knock at the door. "Nora, can you open the door." I heard Steve say. What would he say? I basically just told them any future with us having a family was thrown out the window. Bucky couldn't even look at me. They both walked out and didn't even bother looking back. I couldn't move I just stood there, staring at the door.
I managed to take a few step toward the door but just couldn't open it. I couldn't face them ending things. What would I do without them?
"Doll, please." I heard Bucky say his voice cracking at the end.
"I can't," I sobbed. I heard them try to open the door but it was still locked. I sat down on the floor and hugged my knees to my chest, resting my head against them. I heard Steve and Bucky argue before everything went silent and the only thing I could hear were my own sobs.
Eventually I tired myself out and fell asleep on the floor. I woke up the next morning for the first time ever not looking forward to seeing Steve and Bucky. The way I see things I had two options, I could walk out of this room and talk this problem out. Wait for them to say they don't care and they still love me no matter what, until one day years from now they grow to resent me for not being able to give them a family or option two, I walk out before they can walk out on me, again. I didn't like either of those choices so I decided to go with option three, pretend last night didn't happen and go back to ignoring the problem.
I got dressed like I normally did and walked out of the room. I was surprised to see Both Steve and Bucky were asleep on the floor, with their backs leaning on the wall on either side of the doorway. I stepped over them to get to the kitchen and started making breakfast and coffee. As I started shuffling around the kitchen the guys woke up. They stood up and walked over to the kitchen.
"Nora" I heard Steve say trying to get my attention.
"Morning handsome." I said giving him a smile. "Hope you're hungry the eggs are almost ready. Coffee is done so go ahead and serve yourself."
"Doll, are you feeling alright?" Bucky asked.
"Right as rain, why do you ask?" I said cheerfully.
Bucky and Steve exchanged a look. Something was clearly very wrong. "We should talk about last night." Bucky started.
"Can one of you set the table?" I asked as I went back to cooking, ignoring the tension in the room.
"Nora, we need to…" Steve started before I interrupted him.
"Will one of you get the milk out? I think I'm skipping the coffee this morning, don't think I need it."
"Nora, about last night," Bucky said.
"There's nothing to talk about." I said interrupting him.
"Nora we need to talk about it." Steve said.
"No we don't. None of us want kids right now right, not while we're in a war. So I say we put this conversation on hold until then. Last night didn't happen." I say.
"We can't just ignore this." Steve said.
"I don't want to talk about it! Last night didn't happen. I've been dealing with it just fine until now, and I'll keep dealing with it." I said ending the discussion.
"Doll…" Bucky started.
"No. Now can one of you set the table I don't want the eggs to get cold before we can start eating." I said going back to cooking.
They ate breakfast in silence. Any attempts they made I quickly shut down. Eventually Bucky snapped.
"We can't keep doing this. We have to talk about this!" He shouted.
"I don't want to talk about it." I said looking straight ahead.
"Nora we're worried about you." Steve said trying to be the mediator.
"I'm fine." I said standing up and taking my plate to the sink.
"No you're not." Bucky said.
"I am," I said washing the plates.
"Nora," Steve said.
"No." I said shutting down any attempts at talking. I walked around them picking up plates and clearing the table. I cleaned the kitchen and then looked around to see what we had to start planning dinner.
I noticed there wasn't much and we were running low on everything so I got my coat and purse.
"Where are you going?" Bucky asked.
"We're running low on groceries. I'm going out to buy some things. Might even catch Peggy for some girl time. She said today was her day off. I'll be back before dinner. I'm making Shepard's Pie." I said I walked over and kissed them each on the cheek before walking out.
Third Person's POV-
After Nora left, Steve and Bucky were speechless. 'How could she just act like everything was okay?' Bucky thought. Last night was horrible for them. Nora hadn't seen them but Bucky was crying on the fire escape and Steve walked out of the apartment and broke down in an alley. Both of them didn't want their soulmates to see them weak. They broke down separately before coming up with a plan to work through this and be there for Nora.
They waited for her to let them in to her room but she didn't. When she finally came out she acted like nothing had happened. She completely ignored the problem and changed the subject whenever either of them tried to bring it up.
They needed to do something, so they went to the one person who knew Nora just as much, if not more than they did.
"I can't believe we're doing this." Bucky said as they stood outside Howard's lab.
"I know you don't like the guy Buck but we need to do this for Nora. He can be a lot of things but despite everything he does love his granddaughter." Steve said.
"I know he does, I just can't believe we're doing this again." Bucky said.
"I don't like this either, but we need help. Nora won't talk to us. Maybe he can help us figure out why."
"I know, but it doesn't mean I have to be happy about this." Bucky muttered. They walked in the lab and saw Howard sitting on a stood tinkering with something.
"Howard, can we talk," Steve greeted.
He looked up surprised to see Steve and Bucky there. "Sure, What's going on? Is Nora alright?" He asked.
"That's actually what we need to talk to you about." Bucky said.
"What's going on?" he asked and they told him everything that happened last night and that morning. Howard just nodded and listened to everything they told him. When they finished the only thing Howard said was, "You two are idiots."
"Really Stark," Bucky said annoyed.
"Yes. Did you two not learn anything from spending an entire day with Nora when she was a kid?"
They both looked at him confused.
He sighed and pinched his eyebrows together. "You two can be so clueless sometimes. Listen up, the three of you screwed up last night but you two more than Nora. She had a good reason to react the way she did. After spending so much time with Nora as a kid and talking to her I learned a few things about the way she grew up. She didn't have her mom, and her dad wasn't around much. The woman who raised her and who she loved like a mother, died when she was young. As a kid her biggest fear was being abandoned by the people she cared about. She was shy and scared because she thought that if she did something wrong her dad would stop visiting her. When you two took care of her and didn't get mad when she went crazy in your apartment she knew you cared and she cared about you two. She cried when you two left and asked me why you two cared about her. She needed a reason for you two to care."
"I don't see what this has to do with anything?" Bucky said.
"I'm getting to that. We see Nora as this strong, confident and kind person, but that's just what she let's people see. That's just a front, under all of that is that insecure, scared three and a half year old girl that's scared of being abandoned by the people she loves. So when you two walked out last night after she told you she can't have kids, that's what she thought was going to happen, and that's why she's not talking about it. She doesn't want you to leave so she thinks not talking about it will keep you two around." Howard said.
"That's not true. We wouldn't do that." Steve said.
"I know that and you know that but the way you both acted last night made her think otherwise." Howard said.
"We screwed up." Bucky said.
"We really did. So how do we fix this?" Steve said.
"You talk things out and make her see you're not going anywhere." Howard said.
"Sounds like a plan except for the fact that Nora won't talk about it." Bucky said frustrated.
"Then make her listen." He said.
Bucky and Steve turned to each other and nodded. They were going to make thing right.