Sorry for the wait, guys. Been super busy.

A HUGE thanks to JLCH for helping me edit this chapter before posting it. This was a hard chapter for me to write because I really wanted to get deep into Cuddy's emotional side and make it REAL.

Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! It went through probably 8 or 9 revisions. Emotional stuff right here…

So, we left off where... (I appreciate my readers living with 'Kate' and not 'Julia'. Like I said before with Cuddy's mother, I wrote this chapter before 'Bombshells' and I didn't want to change the names) Kate and House kind of started to make amends...but something else is going on... something that House doesn't know about...until..now.

Enjoy!

Chapter 56:

On Wednesday morning, Cuddy awoke early as usual and took a nice leisurely shower. She was careful not to wake House as he was still recovering from his motorcycle accident.

Wrapping a towel around herself after stepping out of the shower, Cuddy dried her body off, and returned to the master bedroom, surprised to see House awake propped up with a pillow against the headboard to cushion his left shoulder which was immobilized in the sling.

She frowned when she saw him rubbing his thigh vigorously. "Hey. It's a bit early for you, isn't it?" she asked, jokingly.

He smirked. "Yea, well the reason I woke up is because my smokin' preggo girlfriend wasn't next to me."

Cuddy chuckled softly. "Is that so?" She walked over to the bed, the towel still wrapped around her body.

"How's the shoulder?"

"It's okay. It usually seems to be worse when I wake up. No big deal."

"It seems the pain from your shoulder is affecting your leg," she told him shyly, noticing that he was rubbing his thigh more than usual.

Grumbling, House didn't say anything as he accepted an Oxy pill from her, dry-swallowing it immediately. Cuddy sat on his side of the bed, and he reached out his uninjured hand, and cupped her cheek gently.

"Hi," he whispered softly.

"Hi," she echoed back, quietly. She leaned down and pressed her lips to his. Their tongues danced together slowly and passionately, as Cuddy pressed her hand to the back of his neck, deepening the slow and tender kiss, while being mindful of his injured shoulder.

The towel fell off Cuddy's body and House stopped, breaking off the kiss. He gave her body a lingering once over. "Is that an invitation?" he asked, huskily.

"No, I have to get dressed," Cuddy said, chuckling as she moved away before he had a chance to do anything more. He was too quick and pulled her back towards the edge of the bed, but she resisted.

"Greg, seriously, stop! I have to get dressed!" She pushed herself from him and turned away.

House didn't say anything but let her go, wondering about her sudden change in mood. Cuddy kept her back towards him as she dressed. She knew he sensed her abrupt change in mood but he didn't know she was scared shitless about what she was about to reveal to him.

"I need to talk to you about something."

After Cuddy had made breakfast, which consisted of eggs and sausage links for House, and yogurt and fruit for herself, she handed House an icepack from the freezer, and he ventured out into the living room to ice his shoulder.

House was sitting on the couch when Cuddy walked in the living room, after cleaning up the kitchen.

House, who was icing his shoulder while reading the latest issue of an Endocrinology Journal that was on Cuddy's coffee table, looked up at her after hearing what she just told him.

"Okay, what's up?"

She walked over to the armchair across from him and sat down, feeling a heavy weight in the bottom of her stomach as she was about to reveal a burden she had carried for many years.

She felt now was the time to talk about her secret and if anyone should know besides her sister, it was the man sitting in front of her.

Cuddy stayed silent, her mind racing as to how she should begin her story. House closed the journal he was reading and placed it back down on the coffee table, knowing that there a serious conversation coming.

Exhaling, Cuddy composed herself and looked at the man seated across from her on the couch, who was watching her intently.

"Greg, I…it's about us and our one-night stand in college," she began, hesitating.

"Okay," House said slowly, extremely curious as to why she chose to talk about this subject regarding their past.

Cuddy exhaled again. "This is about why my sister hates you so much," she started, slowly.

"I already know why Kate hates me," House interrupted. "She's pissed at me for leaving you all those years ago."

"There are some things you still don't know," Cuddy replied, quietly. "…. After that night we spent together in college-"

Ah yes, the night we fucked each other's brains out?" House interrupted, smirking.

Glaring at him, Cuddy said, "For Christ's sake Greg, this is serious. Will you stop interrupting me?"

Caught quite off guard at her reaction, House became silent, leaning back on the couch, and motioned with his hand for her to continue.

Cuddy continued, after momentarily glaring at him. "… As I was saying, after that night, I tried to find you, but no one knew anything about where you'd gone. I was…angry and hurt that you treated me like that-" She stopped suddenly as she felt the tears start to fall as the rush of emotions she had kept inside for more than two decades came pouring out. "Like you didn't care and you wanted to move on-"

"Lisa," House interrupted, but was cut off.

"Dammit, Greg," Cuddy yelled angrily, "let me finish." Frustrated, she wiped her tears away and continued, while House just watched her silently.

"That was the best night I had in a long time," she told him. "And I was angry at you, angry at myself for not doing more to stop you from leaving." Cuddy's voice was trembling now but she forced herself to continue.

"I was hoping you'd call but when you didn't, I had to face the reality that it was a one-time thing and that while I thought that we could have a relationship, you were obviously not interested."

Her voice caught, and she stopped again, breaking her gaze with him and staring down at the floor. She willed herself to keep talking, and her voice became more unsteady as she continued.

"Greg, that night was perfect, and I played it up in my mind that you actually cared about me and that you actually gave a shit about me…" She scoffed in disgust, shaking her head.

House was confused as to why she was bringing this up now. "What does this have to do with Kate?"

"I'm getting there," Cuddy shot back at him furiously, not really meaning to direct her frustration out at him but it just came out that way. In truth she wasn't angry at him. She was angry at herself for not telling him all those years ago. He had the right to know years ago and by waiting, she worried she had made it worse.

"Sorry," she said, quietly.

"For what?" he asked.

"About five weeks after that night," she began, closing her eyes, and taking a much needed breath, knowing what she had to reveal next, "I found out I was pregnant," she finished, quietly.

She waited a moment before opening her eyes. She couldn't even look at him. Not after that last confession. 'This was a mistake. I shouldn't have told him. What am I even doing?' she thought to herself, 'Look at me, I can't even look him in the fucking eye.'

She continued to avoid looking directly at him, choosing to cast her glance downward, too afraid to even look at him. She was too afraid to see his reaction to her confession. She could feel his eyes on her, but didn't dare glance up.

House was stunned. He stared at her, unable to speak.

Taking a breath, Cuddy willed herself to continue on. She had to get this out.

"I obviously couldn't raise a kid at 22," she continued, her gaze still downward. Taking another deep calming breath, she exhaled slowly. "So, I did what I thought was my only option."

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed House make a slight movement. She forced herself to look up and into his eyes. She had to look at him for this. As her voice cracked, she said softly, "I had an abortion."

He stared at her, stunned at what he had just heard. Although a million things were going through his head at that moment, only one question was spoken aloud. "And you've kept this a secret for almost twenty-five years?" he asked.

Cuddy nodded. "Well, I only told one other person-"

"Kate," House interrupted knowingly.

Cuddy nodded again, as the tears still flowed silently down her cheeks. "Yeah," she whispered.

House was silent as he exhaled deeply and slid a hand down his face. "Jesus Christ, Lisa" he said, softly.
"I'm so sorry." She didn't even bother to wipe the tears that were streaming from her eyes. House got up from the couch and went to comfort her, but she held up a hand, stopping him.

"Greg, let me finish. I need to get this all out. Please. I haven't spoken any of this in almost twenty five years," she told him, her voice quivering.

He sat back down, locking onto her gaze, waiting patiently, although it absolutely pained him to not be able to take her into his arms immediately and tell her that she had nothing to be sorry for. He was the one who should be sorry. He was the one who fucked up.

"Kate went with me to the clinic by school. She flew to Michigan to be with me," Cuddy continued softly, after taking a calming breath. "I never thought that – I mean it was one time, for Christ's sake. After awhile, I did find your number. I could have called you and told you, but then I thought, 'He wouldn't care. All he wanted was a good fuck and he got one'. But some part of me wanted to – I actually had the phone in my hand and I was in the middle of dialing your number, but then I just stopped."

She hesitated before getting the last few words out. "…I just…couldn't tell you…."

"But," House interrupted, "Why? Why didn't you - I could have been there for you. We could have-"

Cuddy scoffed. "No, we couldn't have. Seriously, you think the two of us could have raised a kid in our early 20's? I don't think so," she told him. "So I withdrew from everybody. I think the only thing that kept me going was the fact that I was going to graduate pre-med summa cum laude, and I wasn't about to fuck that up."

"Greg, think about who we were back then. Can you honestly say that you would have come back? Now is a different story, obviously, but…. but back then, at twenty-something, you wouldn't have stayed. You wouldn't have come back for me." She placed a hand over her eyes, as if to block out the memory.

House swallowed. "You don't know that," he said.

Cuddy threw her hands up in the air, frustrated. But she didn't know at what. "Greg, speaking as someone who probably knows you as well as your mother knows you, I know you would have left. Fatherhood wasn't high on your radar. Hell, I doubt if it even existed from your standpoint."

"Kate suggested an abortion," she continued, once she found her voice again. "I was only about three or four weeks at the time, and I knew that in the first trimester was probably the best time to do it," she told him.

"When you got kicked out, I knew I was off the hook from telling you about everything. I was a complete coward."

She paused, hanging her head in her hands as she took a deep unwavering breath. Meanwhile, House was too astounded to even breathe. He sat there, taking everything in, wordlessly.

It was about a minute before Cuddy could find her voice again. "It was perfect," she told him, her voice breaking suddenly again as she brought her hands away from her face, wiping her eyes again, as she felt a fresh batch of hot tears silently run down her cheeks.

"So perfect," she continued, "You got kicked out and left, and I was off the hook from telling you I had just gotten an abortion and that it was yours."

"So, then, why is your sister so pissed at me? She didn't even know me for Christ's sake," House asked.

Cuddy hesitated. "She thinks you knew that I was pregnant and that's why you ran off because you didn't want to bear responsibility. She doesn't know why you really had to leave Michigan. In her mind, you're the guy who left his girlfriend after a one-night stand, who had just gotten an abortion and didn't even care about her," she managed to choke out. "Now, even though it's been proven wrong, she's worried you may do that again…"

Pushing his thoughts aside, House exclaimed, "But I won't. You know that!...And I didn't know that you had gotten pregnant. I had no idea…."

"I know, Greg, I know," she interrupted him quietly.

"Lisa," House began suddenly, "I'm so sorry. I should have stayed. I should have cared more and not just left you like some jackass…."

"Greg, I'm the one who played up the whole stupid night in my head because I thought it meant something," she stressed to him. "You had no obligation to stay after that night…"

"Don't," House began, "Don't try and make this okay just because I had other responsibilities'. Don't do that."

He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Just don't do that…. And that night did mean something to me," he confessed, quietly. "Really, it did. I was scared to even pursue it, so I played it off..."

"I'm not going to sit here and tell you that if I knew what happened, that I would have stayed with you," he continued, "Because I don't know if that would have been the case, and it absolutely kills me to say that to you, especially now."

"Greg, one good thing came out of this, and I think you know what that is," Cuddy began when she found her voice. She hesitated for a split second and then continued. "I have no doubt in my mind that if you had stayed with me, and I hadn't gotten the abortion, I definitely wouldn't be Dean of Medicine of a hospital in New Jersey fifteen or twenty years down the road. Hell, I probably wouldn't have gone to medical school or ever left Michigan for Christ's sake. Yeah, I would have a kid - we would have a kid -but then what? Two intelligent pre-med college drop outs in their early twenties with a baby. What kind of a life is that? It's certainly not a life I would want. We had so much ambition going for both of us, Greg."

"And you wouldn't have had me to bug your staff if you weren't Dean," House said with a small grin.

Cuddy smiled a little. "What a shame," she said dryly.

House smirked. 'She was coming back.' "So, let me guess… the good thing is that I fucked your brains out at that fundraiser last May, and that wouldn't have happened if that one night of outrageously mind-blowing sex twenty- some years ago at Michigan hadn't happened? That's pretty fucked up."

Cuddy smirked. "We're good at doing 'fucked up'," she told him.

House took that answer as a 'yes.'

"So," he said, "I guess I need to have a conversation with your sister, huh?"

Cuddy shrugged. "If you want to."

House was silent for a moment. "Thank you for telling me all this," he whispered, sincerely.

He paused briefly, perhaps, Cuddy thought, to get his words together.

"Lisa, you are a strong woman," he continued. "That's what makes you a kickass Dean of Medicine and that is what is causing you to still stay strong after what happened to us last year…And it's one of the things I love about you. It's why I picked you over every other woman I could have had," he said, softly, locking eyes with her. "You don't care what anyone else thinks. You go above and beyond everyone's expectations of you. Hell, I don't think I deserve you. I don't even think I deserve to have a kid with you after what I did, after what I put you through…Christ, I'm so sorry for what I did to you." He paused, briefly, "What made you finally tell me?"

Cuddy hesitated. "When we finally got together last year and especially after I found out I was pregnant, I knew someday I had to tell you. And then when Kate appeared in the picture and she was being a complete asshole to you at the New Years party trying to ream you for everything, I knew I couldn't continue being a coward," she told him, softly.

"What made you know that I would stay and not run off like last time?" House asked, afraid to know the answer.

That was a loaded question. Cuddy was silent for a while before answering him.

"I don't know. I guess…all these years of seeing you as an employee made me realize that you've changed since college, and so somewhere inside me, I knew that if we were to give it another shot, for real this time, I knew you wouldn't leave me again." She paused, collecting her thoughts. "I don't know. I mean God knows, I knew we were dancing around each other for so long, too long, that I knew if we didn't take another shot, I would just hate myself…"

"Well," House said softly, locking eyes with her, "I'm glad we did."

Cuddy smiled through her tears. "Me too," she whispered, as she absentmindedly started to slowly caress her stomach with her hand.

"C'mere," House said, quietly, as he stood up.

Cuddy stood, wiping her eyes and went over to him, and wrapped her arms around him, being mindful of his shoulder. He wrapped her in a one-armed embrace, letting her rest her forehead against his chest, as she started to cry again.

"It's okay," he whispered. "I'm glad you finally told me, Lisa."

She lifted her head and looked at him. "You're not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad," he whispered, withdrawing his arm and wiping her cheek. "Like I said, I should have been there for you, and I wasn't. If I was in your situation, I would have probably done the same thing. I wouldn't have wanted you to raise a kid without a father. I'm so sorry, Lisa."

As Cuddy stood in the living room, wrapped in the arms of a man she had loved for the past twenty-five years of her life, she knew that he was really ready to commit to her and support her and their unborn son. Although the horrible things that happened in college and within the past year were difficult to release, they were just memories, not current reality. And even though they had already happened and were events of the past, Cuddy knew House was really present to support her. He may have not been back then, but he was now, and that's all she could ask for.

I know I've neglected John for a bit but he comes back a lot in future chapters. (Chase does too)

I felt like I needed to deal with some issues with Cuddy/House first.

Stay tuned. And as always, thanks for reading!

(20 days till I see Hugh Laurie in concert! woohoo!)