Chapter 98
Hey everyone sorry for the delay but I wanted to get this chapter right. It was something I had been planning from the beginning and I kept re writing it because i wasn't sure. Side note there is some smut at the end. for those of you not into that sort of thing I marked it so you could skip it. Anyway here it is. Let me know what you think. Enjoy :)
After we got back from spending the day with Sam and Jess, Wren and I were both starving. We found Bucky in the living room writing attentively in his journal.
"We're back." I called out.
"Okay." He said solemnly.
"You okay?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said.
"You sure cuz you don't sound okay?" I asked.
"I'm fine!" He yelled before he stormed off to his room and slammed the door.
"What's wrong with him?" Wren asked.
"I don't know. Am I being too clingy?" I asked.
"No more than usual." Wren answered and I punched his arm. "Ow, you asked."
"I meant if that would be enough to get him angry." I said
"Nora, you love him and he knows that. The thing is he doesn't know why. He knows you're important to him he just doesn't remember how that came to be and it's frustrating to him. He's not just remembering everything you three went through he's remembering everything he did under hydra. And speaking from experience, remembering the horrible things you did while under the control of someone else makes you feel like shit." Wren said.
"So what do I do?" I asked.
"Give him space, he needs to come to process it before he'll be ready to talk about it."
"Then why does it feel like I'm losing him?" I asked.
"I don't know." Wren said. "I'm going to get started on dinner. I'll be outside." He said before teleporting outside.
I stood up and walked to the door. I knocked on it and heard shuffling.
"Buck, it's me. Can I come in?" I asked.
"Go away." He said. I heard the door lock and then footsteps padding away.
"I don't know what I did to make you angry but I'm sorry. We're making dinner. We'll be outside if you need us or want to join us. If not I'll leave a plate in the warmer." I said before walking away.
A Few Days Later-
I woke up and hopped in the shower. Then I got dressed in a black dress with a leather belt and black pointed heels. I topped it with a grey blazer and black suitcase. I straightened my hair and left it down.
.
I walked downstairs and grabbed my laptop from the lab. I walked into the kitchen before pouring myself a mug full of coffee.
"Morning" Wren said appearing out of nowhere.
"Morning." I answered.
"Don't you look professional today?" He said looking at me.
"Have to present to the board today. Figured I couldn't be taken seriously if I was wearing scrubs. I'd look like a kid in pajamas." I said.
"You're Nora Spencer, youngest double board certified surgeon in history. Your name opens doors. You could wear a potato sack and you'd still be smarter than anyone else in that room."
"I know but this is a bid deal. My baby's growing up." I said.
"Did you just call your app a baby?"
"Technically it's Harvard's app." I corrected.
"It is your brain child though." He said. "Speaking of children, has the man child left his room?"
"Not that I've seen." I said. Ever since we got back from brunch with Sam and Jess, Bucky hadn't left his room at least not while I was around. I'd knock on his door and ask if he was hungry but never got any replies. Any food I left out for him was eaten so I guessed he just didn't want to see me. "I have to get going, Matthews wants me there for the pre-meeting brunch. I'll see you later." Then I teleported off to the storage room in the hospital Wren and I teleport to.
Third Person's POV-
Wren watched the sad look Nora gave him when she said Bucky hadn't come out of her room. He sighed. He knew something was wrong with Bucky but he didn't want to worry Nora. After Nora left he went to Bucky's room and nocked on the door.
"You can come out, she left already." Wren said.
It was quiet for a minute until Wren heard footsteps and the door opened. Bucky glanced at Wren for a second before walking to the kitchen without a word. Wren sighed. Bucky was just as stubborn and hard headed as Nora. He had a feeling Steve was the same way.
"Wren followed after him. Bucky pulled the plate out of the warmer he knew Nora had left for him and sat down at the table. Wren served them both a cup of coffee before sitting down in from of him.
"Why aren't you talking to Nora?" Wren asked.
Bucky put his fork down but didn't look up.
"I know you've been avoiding her, It's pretty obvious she's miserable and hasn't been sleeping and by the looks of it the same goes for you. What's going on?" Wren said.
"I shouldn't be here." Bucky mumbled.
"What?" Wren said not expecting that answer.
"I don't belong here." Bucky said. "And I don't deserve any of this."
"What happened?" Wren asked.
"Hydra happened. I died, Steve died and Nora was left behind. She moved on. She built a life, a job, home, friend niece and nephew hell even a husband. She's happy. She has everything I can never give her." Bucky said.
"Nora never truly moved on. She may seem happy and content with her life but that's just a front she put up so the people around her won't worry. She never stopped thinking about you or Steve. She never stopped loving you both. You have any idea how many times I've found her crying looking at that photo on her night stand or the wreck she becomes whenever it gets close to the anniversary of the day your or Steve went missing?" Wren said.
"That doesn't matter." Bucky said.
"The hell it does. I don't know what's going through your head right now but you need to talk to her. It's killing her to see you like this." Wren said.
"You love her." Bucky said.
"What?" Wren asked not expecting that answer.
"You love Nora." Bucky repeated.
"I don't see what that has to do with…"
"She looks at you the way she looks at me and the way she looked at Steve." Bucky elaborated.
"That's insane. Nora doesn't love me and this is all besides the point." Wren said.
"It's not. I'm not the man Nora knew back in 1945. I know she's important to me and I know she wants to help, you both do but I can't be here." Bucky said.
"For fucks sake man, it doesn't matter whether or not you think you deserve help it's a matter of the fact we want to help you."
"I don't need your help." Bucky said.
"Do you now? How many pillows did you rip open last night?" Wren asked. Bucky looked up at him shocked.
"I snuck in sleeping pills in Nora's food last night. She gets anxious before presentations or exams, it's the only way she sleeps. If she had been awake she would have woken you up." Wren said.
"Good, I don't want her to see me like that." Bucky said.
"She's seen you before." Wren pointed out.
"I know, and I don't like the way she looks at me. It's sad and full of pity. Just makes me feel guiltier." Bucky said.
"It's not sadness or pity, it's guilt." Wren said.
"Why would she feel guilty?" Bucky said confused.
"You remember falling from the train?" Wren asked.
"I remember Steve reaching for me but I was holding onto a rail and had my arm wrapped around something. Then I fell and I saw a bright light that fell with me but disappeared before I hit the bottom." Bucky said.
"You remember seeing Nora time jump?" Wren asked.
"No." Bucky answered.
"Nora gets the chills and she starts glowing. She get's brighter and brighter until you can't see and she disappears. Sound familiar?" Wren asked.
"You mean she was there when I fell?" Bucky asked.
"She wasn't just there, she tried to save you and in the process fell with you. Only difference was that she time jumped two weeks into the future and you fell down the ravine. She still gets nightmares about that." Wren said.
"You two are close." Bucky said.
"We met in a warzone, we had to be close." I said.
"Your not in a warzone anymore," Bucky pointed out.
Wren sighed. "People like us, pawns in other peoples wars. We need something to keep us grounded. Fighting was all I ever knew so that's what I did. I was a fighter and I tried to make amends by being a doctor. For a while it worked at least I thought I did. Then one day I met a certain nineteen year old dressed in uniform waiting to be trained as a trauma surgeon. Didn't think she'd last a day let alone six months. She showed me everything I was missing out on and gave me a chance and you have no idea how thankful I am she gave me a chance even though I acted like the biggest prick in the world."
"You were a kid, you didn't get a choice." Bucky said.
"And you were a prisoner of war that had his memories wiped and was brainwashed." Wren retorted.
"I still did it." Bucky said.
"So did I so stop feeling sorry for yourself. What's done is done and yes it's horrible and yes it's hard and it's not fair. Well get over it. Life isn't fair but we're lucky because we have someone that still believes we're worth saving. So get your head out of your arse and talk to her. You're running yourself ragged and so is she." Wren said.
"Why are you helping me?" Bucky asked.
"Because I know what you're going through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone." Wren said.
"Nora would be better of if I was gone." Bucky said.
"I thought that once. Went a whole month without speaking to her and I was miserable and she was too just like I know you're miserable right now."
"I don't want to be here." Bucky said.
"Why?" Wren asked.
"I'm not the man she knew, and I won't ever be him again. I don't even remember her and every time I see her it's just a reminder of that." Bucky said.
"So what you run away?" Wren asked. "You really think Nora's just going to let you go and not try and find you?"
"Which is why I need your help to convince her." Bucky said.
Nora's POV-
"And as you've seen the system is completely integrated to the existing curriculum. Not only will students be able to see lectures from the world's best surgeons but they will also have someone to ask questions to whether it be the lifestyles and adjusting to our changing schedules to learning new techniques through the live chat and message board. Not only will students benefit from this but our faculty here in the hospital will as well. There's a saying that a teacher can learn as much from a student as a student does from a teacher. This program makes this possible. Dallas Presbyterian is known for having one of the best residency programs in the state why shouldn't we aim to be one of the best in the country. I won't over sell myself and say that this will guarantee that but it would be a step in the right direction." I said. "Thank you for your time."
"Thank you Doctor Spencer." Doctor Matthews said.
I walked out and Aaron, the representative Harvard had sent walked out with me so the board could make their decisions.
"That was amazing." He said.
"Really cuz I completely forgot what I was going to say and came up with all of that on the spot." I said.
"You're kidding right?" Aaron said.
"Here are my note cards." I said handing them to him.
"Whoa." He said. "You're a natural."
"Aw thank you." I said.
"Before I forget, This belongs to you." He said handing me an envelope. I was confused for a minute until I opened it.
"Oh wow, that's a lot of zeros." I said.
"I know." He said.
"I think there's been a mistake, that's supposed to be a one not a two." I pointed.
"There were two groups in there. Your contract stated that you get paid one million for every group you present to." Aaron stated.
"Oh," I said still in shock.
"We'll be in touch.' He said shaking my hand before walking out. I walked to the lobby where I saw Wren checking in.
"Hey." He said when he saw me. "How'd it go?"
"Pretty good. I blanked out and forgot what I was going to say but no one even noticed." I said.
"Seriously? You rehearsed that thing at least twenty times a day for the past week." Wren said.
"I've had a lot of my mind but it worked out." I said handing him the envelope.
"Wow all for a ten minute presentation. Nicely done." Wren said. "Listen we have to talk."
"Sure let's…" I started but I saw something that made me freeze. The TV in the waiting room was turned on to a news station.
"Nora?" Wren asked.
"Sh." I said looking at the TV.
"We have been notified that the man formerly known as the Winter Soldier and now known as James Buchanan Barnes has been spotted here in Dallas. Authorities received an anonymous tip last night that he was spotted leaving a bus station. Authorities are on the lookout for him. If you see him or know where he may be do not engage. Notify the authorities at one. He may be armed and is highly dangerous." The reporter said.
I turned to look at Wren and he gave me a concerned look.
"Nora!" Doctor Matthews called out.
"Yes sir?" I asked.
"We did it. The program's been approved." He said cheerfully.
"That's great chief." I said forcing as smile.
"Why don't you and Wren take the rest of the day off to celebrate?" He said
"Really?" Wren asked.
"Yes get out of here, enjoy your day. It's a slow day anyway." Doctor Matthews said.
"Thank you chief." Wren and I said at the same time before we quickly walked out of the lobby to our hideout. We teleported to the house and appeared in from of Bucky who was sitting on the couch. He just stared at us shocked.
"We have a problem." Wren said. And right when he said that my ears started ringing. There was this painful screeching sound.
"Ah!" I said putting my hand to my ears and started falling.
"Nora hey hold on." Wren said putting an arm around me and moving me to the couch.
"Ah my head." I said and then I got the chills. "Fuck."
"Oh no." Wren said.
"What's going on?" Bucky said confused as I started glowing.
"Time Jump." Wren said moving him away from me. I closed my eyes and waited for to pass.
When I finally opened my eyes I was still sitting on a couch that I recognized as that of the day room but that wasn't what got my attention.
"Dad?" I asked.
"Nora." He answered. I looked around the room and saw he wasn't alone. Standing behind him were Steve and Thor. To the right of the room was Bruce Banner. He looked horrible. He was wearing a long sleeve grey shirt and when he noticed me looking at him he looked away almost ashamed.
I looked to the other side and saw Clint and Natasha. Standing at either side of the archway.
"Guys, Nat." I said. Dad looked like he was ready to blow. "Whatever it is I didn't do it. At least I haven't done it yet." I clarified.
Dad put a red notebook down on the table and slid it over to me. I immediately recognized it. It was a journal Frigga had given me during one of my visits to Asgard back when I still though Steve and Bucky were dead. She had enchanted it so that it would only show what the version in front of me had lived through. It started off as just a regular journal but I had started writing down what happened during my day and time jumps so that when younger versions of me started showing up Wren would know what to say.
"Oh crap." I said. "So maybe I already did do it."
"Yeah, start talking." Dad said.
"I'm a time traveler." I said.
"Really?" dad said sarcastically.
"But you already knew that." I said. "uh what else… I met Gramps. He was complicated. Life of the party. One time we got so hammered we ended up in Scotland. Ended up on Asgard and Met Thor as a kid, got Asgardian Citizenship, went to the far future then back lived my life made two million dollars for a presentation and ended up here." I recapped.
"That's all you're going to say?" dad asked.
"Yeah, I don't know what to tell you dad and I don't know what you know. You've read it all and honestly it doesn't matter what I say you're still going to be mad and there's not a single thing I can do about it. Well that's that. I'm starving. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." I said before teleporting to the kitchen.
I opened the fridge and pulled out some chicken and other ingredients I had. I could use some southern comfort food. I got started on the batter and quickly whipped up some waffle batter and heated up the pan with oil for the fried chicken.
"So you're a time traveler?" Clint said walking in.
"For the past three years well kind of three years, time is kind of a matter of perspective." I said pulling out the waffle iron. "Back to the future and Doctor Who did not really explain how complicated it really was."
"You seem to be doing okay." Clint pointed out.
"That's funny. I lied to my dad for three years probably more by the look of things, one of my soulmates didn't figure out I was alive and moved on with his life. My other soulmate was brainwashed into becoming into an assassin for a nazi organization and my best friend who also happens to be my husband is a former assassin for a secret British organization that uses child soldiers. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. A time jump was the last thing I needed today. You have no idea the shit storm that's waiting for me when I get back." I said slamming the waffle iron shut.
"I'm starting to see the family resemblance." He said.
"Took you long enough. You stalked me for how long and you never picked up on it?" I said.
"I bought the whole mentor alibi." Clint said with a shrug.
"We did know how to sell it." I said.
"Legolas, I need a minute." Dad said.
"I'll go check on Nat." Clint said.
"Is this all a joke to you?" dad started.
"What part of this is funny? My life is a train wreck. Every night I go to sleep I'm not sure if I'll even wake up in the same bed let alone the same year. Yeah I admit I should have told you and believe me I wanted to but I didn't get a choice." I said.
"You lied to my face Nora for years." Dad said hurt.
"This isn't about the time traveling is it?" I asked.
"Almost ten years kid. Why the hell didn't you tell me?" he said.
"I had the names of two dead guys on my wrists dad. There wasn't anything to talk about. I spent years hiding them because they were a reminder of what I could never have and from what I've learned recently it's still not happening. Then I met them and they died. I was a wreck but I couldn't tell you because I got threatened with being sent so far back in time and never seeing you again. So I did what I had to do." I said.
"How did I never notice?" he said tearing up.
"You really need me to answer that?" I said.
"I did what I thought was best for you." Dad said.
"I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be honest. Did you stay away from me because you wanted me safe or was it because I look too much like mom?" I said.
"Nora..."
"I know you dad, I know your schedule and I can figure out that the reason I can't find any pictures of the two of us together before I turned three is because there aren't any. So answer the question." I said.
"Kid."
"Answer the question. I deserve to know the answer." I said.
"I wanted you safe, not just from people who would hurt you but from me. I was a trainwreck and honestly I still am. You look so much like her and my mom and it was hard for me to look at you and not remember how much it hurt to lose them. I wanted to forget so I stayed away." He said.
"okay." I said grabbing the chicken and frying it.
"Nora, look at me." He said.
"I'm busy right now." I said pouring batter into the waffle iron.
"Kid, look at me." He said.
I wiped my eyes and turned to look at him. "I was a kid when I became a dad. You're age right now and I wasn't half as mature as you are. I lost everyone I cared about in less than a year and suddenly I was responsible for another person. I could barely take care of myself but I knew I had to do right by you. So I stayed away until I knew I could be the father you deserved and it hasn't always worked out but I tried my god damn best, which is what I would have wanted from Howard." Dad said.
"For the record, he did love you, even before you were born. He kept trying to get me to tell him about you. I couldn't tell him much but what I did tell him he did like." I said. "he was looking forward to meeting you."
"At least he did right by you." Dad said.
"Yeah, he did." I said.
"Um sorry, I didn't know you two were in here." Steve said awkwardly.
"We were just talking. I'll leave you to it." Dad said patting my shoulder before walking out of the kitchen.
I went back to cooking ignoring the look Steve was giving me.
"What are you making?" He asked.
"You really want to talk about fried chicken?" I deadpanned.
"No I just don't know how to start this conversation." He said.
"If I were you I'd think fast, I'm not sure how long I'm sticking around this time." I said turning the chicken over and taking the waffle out of the iron.
"You've been here this entire time." Steve said.
"No shit." I said.
"Why are you so mad?" He said.
"Because you willingly crashed a plane in the Atlantic and left me alone in 1945 without even considering for a second what would happen to me. I'm mad that you came back from the dead and didn't even consider looking for me even though I literally showed up in your kitchen dressed in modern day clothing delirious from a neurotoxin a Russian assassin injected me with in 1946."
"Nora I…"
"I'm not done. I'm pissed off that I've spent the past four years waiting for you to one day show up on my doorstep thinking that you would have waited for me. Imagine my surprise when I go to one of my dad's parties and see you making out with some random blonde, or the fact that my other soulmate who by the way can barely remember who he is managed to find me in a matter of weeks just from minor flashes of his memories. If he could do that why the hell didn't you." I said.
"Bucky found you?" Steve said shocked.
"Yup, he's waiting back in 2014. We're dealing with a minor set back at the moment." I said.
"Minor setback?" Steve asked.
"The authorities received a tip that he's in town and now I have to figure out how to make it look like he's not in town and how the hell they found out. The guy's a master assassin and was a ghost story to other spies, he doesn't slip up." I said.
"You think it may be Hydra?" Steve suggested.
"That's the most likely outcome. The only other person who could possibly know about him is buried in the backyard so…"
"You buried a body in the back yard?!" Steve shouted.
"Technically he killed me. Bucky snapped his neck and Wren buried him in the forest somewhere in the backyard." I said.
"What the hell Nora?" he said.
"Language." I said.
"Is Tony telling everyone?" Steve said annoyed.
"Dad didn't say anything about you." I said confused about what he was talking about. I pulled out a plate and served him a plate before putting the rest on another plate in case anyone else wanted some. I put another plate together before teleporting to the lab where I was sure dad was. Lo and behold he was enjoying some scotch.
"Isn't it a bit early for that." I said putting the plate down in front of him.
"It's five pm somewhere." He said.
"I get that you've had a rough couple of days and you just got bombarded with a bunch of information that you're still processing but if you're here with you're entire band of merry men then it means something big's going on. So I say this with all the love in the world get your head out of your ass and deal with it. I like the world and I'd prefer it keep existing so figure it out." I said. I grabbed the scotch out of his hand and teleported back upstairs.
Steve was just staring shocked. I took a sip from the scotch. "Wow that's smooth." I said. "Where were we?"
Then future me appeared holding a baby and a very familiar four year old.
"Auntie Nora!" Connor said running to me.
"Hi bud." I said.
"You're not supposed to be here, you'll rip a hole in the universe." Connor said trying to pull me away.
"How does he know that?" I asked future me.
"We had to explain why sometimes we looked different when he saw us." She said putting the baby in the high chair. I got a better look at her. Her hair was shoulder length and wavy. She was wearing short brown combat boots jean shorts and our MIT tee shirt. Then there was another glow.
"You two can relax this is a one time thing. Just have to make sure no one spills the beans and we're golden." Aya said.
"Get the hell out of my sight, you've done enough." Future me snarled at Aya.
"Uh can I just say she's not you're Aya she's mine." I said.
"I'm going to make one thing clear to you this isn't your time this isn't your life." Future me said.
"Well not yet anyway." I pointed out.
"Yeah but until then, zip it." She said giving me a glare.
"Hey bud why don't you go wash up I'll make you a plate." Older me said giving Connor a small smile.
"Okay Auntie." He said before walking to his room.
Older me started moving around the kitchen putting a plate together for Connor and pulling out baby food for Ellie. I moved closer to the high chair.
"Hi sweetie," I tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. She happily gurgled and smiled. "You look just like your mom."
"You mind feeding her. I have to go deal with him." Future me said pointing at Steve.
"Sure and just a heads up, I kind of blew up on him and told him Bucky was here well back in 2014. Go easy on him. He's an idiot but he's our idiot." I said.
"Remember what I said about zipping it? This is why!" She said before pushing Steve into the living room and closing the door.
"Wow, I'm a bitch in the future." I said making Ellie laugh. "At least someone's happy to see me."
"Auntie Nora, can I have juice?" Connor asked.
"Sure buddy, grape juice or apple?" I asked getting up.
"Grape, my favorite." He said cheerfully.
"You got it." I said serving the cup and putting it in front of him. "Grape juice for Connor and an apple sauce choo choo train for Ellie." I said moving the spoon into Ellie's mouth.
"Wow, you're a total mom." Dad said walking in.
"Well it takes a village," I said. "Feeling better?"
"Well my head's out of my..."
"Eh hem." I said giving him pointed look before looking at Connor.
"Out of my zone out space." He said giving Connor a smile. "I need to ask did Wren know about this from the beginning?"
"Wren found out three months after we met. He saved my life by teleporting me away from a grenade. He confronted me to tell me to keep my trap shut and I time jumped in front of him. I didn't tell him until about a year later that I met him in the future. And no he didn't know we'd end up married hell I didn't see that coming either. Wren was there thick and thin and kept me going when I wanted to give up on life. He was the one that trained me."
"Are you sure…" dad started
"For fucks sake we're just friends!" I yelled.
"Ooooh Auntie Nora said a bad word." Connor said.
"Oops." I said. "Connor I'll give you five dollars if you don't tell your parents."
"Okay." He said biting into his waffle.
"I'm just going to save you and probably Wren from nine months of tip toeing around each other. Connor here's a hundred bucks for what you're probably going to hear." Dad said sliding Connor a one hundred dollar bill. "You spent the past three years pining over two super soldiers. One happens to be in a committed relationship to a spy and the other barely knows who he is. You love them and I know spangles loves you. He doesn't deserve you but you're married to a former assassin so apparently that doesn't matter. But you know it is possible to love someone that isn't your soulmate right?" dad said.
"I know, I never said I didn't love Wren, I'm just not in love with him." I said making dad and Connor laugh.
"Yeah and I played center in college." Dad said. "Point is just because you're too stubborn and oblivious to see it doesn't mean it isn't true, for Wren anyway."
"Where is Wren anyway?" I asked but before dad could answer future me appeared in the room.
"Don't answer that. I need to talk to her." She told dad. She grabbed my arm and teleported us to the lab. "I don't know why Aya brought you here but I don't like it. No matter what happens don't let anything you saw here change anything. Because no matter how hard you try we can't fight fate."
"What is going on with us? You're a bitch to everyone and from what I've seen you're avoiding Dad like the plague." I said.
"I told you to mind your own business." Future me said.
"No, you can lie to dad, you can lie to every one else but you can't lie to yourself. I know something's going on because I've seen the look you gave Steve. Even I didn't give him the angry glare and I had seventy years worth of pent up resentment stored up that disappeared the instant I spilled the beans so what is going on?"
"Try a hundred years of pent up resentment and the worst nine months of ours damn lives." She answered tearing up.
"We've faced some pretty incredible odds, a nazi with a red skull and we survived so how bad could it get."
"You'll find out soon enough." She answered.
"Well is there anything I could do to help?" I said.
"Don't take it for granted." She said.
"Don't take what for granted?" I asked confused.
"Any of it. I would give everything up if it meant things could be what they used to be. To have them all back. I don't want to do this anymore. You have any idea how many times I've tried to go back and fix things but no matter what things always end up here. You and me having this conversation was going to happen from the beginning." She said.
"Things can't be that bad."
"Look around Nora what do you see?" She asked.
"I see our home packed up, our god kids having lunch and our dad, friends and soulmate upstairs. That doesn't seem so bad." I said.
"Not yet you don't, I give you nine months and you'll be exactly where I'm standing and you'll feel exactly the way I do." She said.
"Why are you so cynical and hopeless?" I asked.
"I can't tell you I'm just warning you. The coming months will change everything and if you think you're going through hell right now trust me when I say it's going to get much worse." She said.
"Then tell me what to do." I said.
"It's already too late." She said. "It's time for you to go. See you in nine months." She said putting two fingers on my forehead and started glowing.
When I opened my eyes I was still at the house but it was later. The sun was setting. I walked into the kitchen and saw Bucky and Wren putting guns together.
"Hey" I said sitting down.
"We need to talk." Wren said.
"I figured." I said. "Did you tell him?"
"He saw." Wren said.
"What are our options?" I asked.
Wren sighed and looked at Bucky.
"It's only a matter of time until they close in." Wren said.
"We can stage in appearance somewhere else and send an anonymous tip. Get attention away from here." I suggested.
"No." Bucky said.
"Bucky if they have a lead here then…"
"Steve might not be the only one after me. Hydra is still out there." He said.
"That's not a problem I've been keeping tabs on dad's servers turns out most of the remaining hydra bases are out of the county. The only exception is the one in Jersey but they've got it handled." I said.
"Every agency out there just got a tip I'm in Dallas, they're not going to let this go. Bucky argued.
"Then what are we supposed to do?" I asked.
"We don't do anything. I leave and stay hidden." He said.
"Bucky you don't have to do this." I argue.
"Yes I do. I know you want to help and I'm grateful for everything you've done both of you but I can't be here." Bucky said.
"Bucky…" I started but wren put a hand on my shoulder and shook his head.
"Let him talk." Wren said.
"I know you want to help and you have but I don't remember who I was and I don't think I ever will. I know we're soulmates but you deserve better. You moved on after I was gone and I came back and shook everything up. I don't fit in here and I don't want to be here. This isn't where I belong and I need to find that but before that I need to find out who I am. Not the Winter soldier but not Bucky Barnes either. I need to do that on my own." Bucky said.
"You've been thinking about this for a while." I stated.
"Yes." Bucky admitted.
"You're going to need a new identity, cash. I'll go work something out." I said before teleporting to the lab.
"Friday soundproof and lock the lab." I said.
"Yes boss." She answered.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then I cracked and started blasting around. When the entire place was wrecked Aya appeared. Without a word she pit the place back together.
"I'm sorry." She said. Instead of saying anything I sent and energy blast in her direction making her dissipate. I cried. I sat on the floor and cried until I couldn't anymore. I went over to the safe and opened it. Wren and I each had cash stored somewhere in the house. Mine was in the second hidden safe in the lab. I say second because dad also set up a safe with cash for emergencies along with contingency plans. He didn't know I already had mine set up.
I pulled out bundles of cash I had in there. It roughly added up to two hundred thousand dollars. Half of it was in dollars the other half was in Euros. I wasn't sure where Bucky was planning on running off to but I was keeping the possibilities open. I grabbed the blank ID's. I started hacking and registering the serial number. Then there was a knock on the glass doors.
"Friday tell Wren I'm busy, I'll be out when I'm done." I said.
"It's not Wren it's Sergeant Barnes." Friday said. I turned around and saw Bucky standing there awkwardly.
"Tell him I'll be up in a bit." I said going back to work.
"He's rather insistent." Friday said.
I sighed. "Let him in." I relented. I heard the door unlock and footsteps walking in.
"Last time I was here you were sitting over there and you were four." He said.
"Yup." I said hacking into the Dallas PD scanner and database trying to see what they had on Bucky.
"You alright." He asked.
"I'm fine. Where were you thinking of going?" I asked.
"What?"
"When you leave where do you want to go?" I said. "I'm only asking so I know what currency you're going to need and what documents to fix."
"Uh, Wren's already dealing with that he said you'd probably be dealing with the police." Bucky said.
"Okay then." I said hacking again. "They received an anonymous tip they don't know from who just said you came in from the bus station in Southern Dallas. Cops are chasing their own tails. They don't have any leads and ever call they've gotten was a dead end."
"That'll make it easier." He said.
"For you maybe." I muttered. "Friday keep and eye on everything if there's any changes let me know."
"Yes boss." Friday answered.
"Dollars or Euros?" I asked.
"Uh, Euro's higher value in case I need to convert them." He said.
"Okay." I said bagging them and handing them to him. "That's a bit over a hundred grand. I put in an extra twenty five thousand in dollars in case you need more. A tip though don't try to convert more that ten thousand. Any amount greater than that gets reported as suspicious and gets investigated."
"I know, if I need any more cash I know some cash stores and safe houses hydra used back in the sixties. They were probably abandoned years ago." Bucky said.
"Good to know."
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"No but I'll get over it." I answered.
"I didn't mean to hurt you." Bucky said. "I never wanted that."
"I know" I said with a grimace "Just doesn't make it easier"
"What do you want me to say Nora? I'm sorry?" he said.
"I don't want you to say anything. Just like you haven't said anything the past week. You don't remember me or Steve or anything else for that matter. I get it you don't care about me but that doesn't mean I don't or that I ever stopped." I said I went over the safe and pulled out my journal from the 1940's. "In case you want proof." I said handing him the notebook.
"You think this is easy for me? You think I like seeing all these pictures and hearing these stories I was a part of and not remember. You think it's easy to watch you look at me with those hopeful eyes and then get sad each time I can't remember something? This is hell for me Nora." Bucky said.
"I never said it was easy for me. Everything that happened to you was my fault. Everyday watching you suffer is my living hell Bucky! It doesn't matter whether you're here or in on the other side of the world I'll still be guilty. This day the constant up and downs are a daily fucking occurrence in the never-ending shitstorm that is my life. If you want to leave go, save yourself, just don't for one second think that you're the only one suffering." I said and right when I got the chills. "Fucking shit." I said as I started glowing.
I closed my eyes and waited for it to pass. When I opened my eyes I was at the Avengers compound.
The place was empty. I sat down on the couch and rested my elbows on my knees and put my head on my hands.
"Nora?" I heard someone ask. I looked up and saw Bucky looking concerned.
"Hey" I greeted.
"You alright?" He asked.
"Yeah, just been a really long day." I said.
"What's going on?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Let's just forget about it. How are you doing?" I asked.
"Don't do that?"
"Do what?"
"Act like it isn't important because you don't want to worry other people so instead you bottle it up." Bucky said. "I see you do it all the time with your dad now spill."
"You're leaving." I blurt out.
"Oh," he said.
"Yeah," I said awkwardly.
"This isn't your fault." He said.
"Then why does it feel like it is?" I said.
"You're having a bad day." Bucky said.
"More like a bad life." I said "I met myself in the future and she warned me that this was just the beginning. I don't think I can handle more Buck."
"Don't say that Nora, you're just tired." He said.
"I'm tired of this Bucky. The time jumps, disappointing people, losing people. I can't do this anymore." I said crying.
"Hey shh, it's okay baby." Bucky said pulling me closer. "It gets better."
"I don't think it does."
"It will, you're not alone and you're going to get through this." He said
"I don't want to get through this. I just want it to stop." I argue. "But that's not going to happen is it?"
"I don't want to lie to you so please don't make me." He whispered.
"I guess that's my answer." I said.
"Don't give up." He said.
"You did." I said tearfully. "Steve did and honestly I can't blame him. Starting to see why he did it."
"What are you talking about?" Bucky said.
"Him crashing the plane?" I said and Bucky just looked at me confused.
"He crashed the plane to save the world." Bucky said.
"It takes four minutes for a plane at maximum altitude to hit the ground after a collision course is set. How long does it take to strap on a parachute and jump?" I said and he thought about it.
"That idiot." Bucky muttered.
"Yeah, so much for 'til the end of the line' huh?" I said.
"That's why you have such a hard time when I mention him."
"Deep seeded abandonment issues from an absentee father. I'm a poster girl for Daddy issues." I said with a sad chuckle.
"I'm sorry." He said.
"Don't be, Steve makes his own choices." I said.
"He's an idiot." Bucky muttered.
"Yeah but he's our idiot. We love him even when he gets us mad." I said sitting back on the couch.
"You ever wonder what would have happened is we had made it out of the war and gone back home?"
"I can't think like that because when I do things get really dark."
"Sorry, I forgot."
"It's fine. Is there anywhere I can crash, I'm exhausted and can use a couple of hours of sleep before I head back." I asked.
"Yeah come on." He said before leading me to a room.
Smut-
I got on the bed and laid down. Bucky laid down behind me and spooned me. I turned around and kissed him. He moved closer and deepened the kiss I threaded a hand into his hair and gently tugged making him grunt and kiss me harder. He shifted to lay between my legs and slowly started grinding his hips into mine.
"Bucky." I moaned as he started kissing down my neck. I found the hem of his tee shirt and moved my hands up his chest. Bucky took the hint and pulled his shirt off before kissing me again. I wrapped my legs around his hips and flipped us over.
I was straddling his waist and I sat up. I undid the zipper of my dress and pulled it off leaving me in nothing but a black lace bra and matching panties.
Bucky sat up and pulled me into a kiss as he moved his hands up and down my back. I ground my hips against his and I felt how affected he was.
"Nora." He moaned. He moved his metal hand down and rubbed me exactly where I wanted him through my panties making me arch my back.
"Ah." I moaned.
"You're so wet." Bucky said kissing my breasts.
"Bucky please." I moaned.
"I know baby. I'm gonna take care of you. Gonna make you feel so good. You're so wet already." He said.
"Yes." I said moaning louder as he slipped his hand into my panties. "Ah."
"you're so beautiful." Bucky said kissing my shoulder.
"Bucky." I moaned. Then he unclasped my bra and pulled it off. Before I knew it he was sucking on my breast and I came. He was barely touching me be the sensations sent me over the edge.
"Ah!" I moaned and pulling on his hair making him suck harder and circle my sensitive spot even faster. He worked me through my climax until I was panting and out of breath. He flipped us over and kissed me again. He fumbled around and slipped off his pants and boxers.
"I need you baby." He said.
I lifted my hips and slipped off my panties. Bucky kissed me again as he started kissing down my chest and stomach and just as he was about to move lower, he looked up and gave me a small smile. He moved my legs apart and kissed his way lower and lower until he started to lightly lick me making me squirm.
"Ah, Bucky." I moaned threading my fingers through his hair and gently tugged. He took that as his cue and started moving faster. He slowly started sucking on my clit and kneading my breast with his flesh hand. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better he slowly slipped a metal digit into me making me arch my back and cry out in pleasure. He moved it in and out getting me used to the movement before adding another one. He moved his fingers in and out, curling them at just the right spot getting me closer and closer to another climax.
"Bucky, stop." I said. He immediately froze and sat up.
"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" He asked looking me over.
"I'm fine I just want you please." I said looking him in the eyes. He gave me a small smile and nodded. He kissed me as he got himself ready before slowly pushing in.
"Ah!" I moaned and Bucky his face in the crook of my neck muffling a groan. It had been a while and I needed a moment to adjust.
"So tight." Bucky grunted. I slowly rolled my hips against his and felt the pleasure build. Bucky pulled a leg up to his hip and started speeding up. The shift in the angle and him hitting just the right spot.
"Yes, Ah." I moaned.
"So good babydoll. So tight. Feel so good." He said before bending down and kissine me.
"Bucky, I'm close." I said.
"Let go Nora, I want to feel you, need to feel you baby." He said speeding up. His thrusts were becoming erratic and I knew he was right behind me. Once twice and by the third and I hit by waves of pleasure. The only sounds in the room were ours voices shouting each other's names out. Bucky collapsed on me and I held him. I ran my fingers through his hair and rubbed back. He hummed happily and nuzzled into my neck.
"I love you." He said.
"Love you too Bucky." I said kissing his forehead. He wrapped his arms around me and rolled us over so I was lying on his chest. I knew that tomorrow was going to be hell but for a moment everything was okay and that was all I cared about. I fell asleep in the arms of someone I loved. I was safe and relaxed and Bucky was still with me tomorrow could wait.