The creature that was Twilight opened its eyes. He reached up and pulled the broken sword handle out of its neck as it coughed up a bit of blood. Slowly but surely he made his way back to his feet. He pulled the blade out of his stomach.

Xander was running with Buffy and River. So much for being the big strong guy, he's pulling up the rear.

Buffy stood running her legs are working pretty good considering what she went through. "So you're telling me Willow got married too? So what's her partner's name?"

Xander was thankful for the way she asked that question. Lets him lie about this and explain later as they lean on a wall to catch their breath. "Jane"

River let out a crooked smile but stopped running just shy of the exit. "Oh no, we're too late. They're coming… they're all… two by two… hands blue… two by two…it's a trap!"

Buffy pulled River back being closer to her as the ground opened up and Xander's eye widened in shock when two gloves reached up beneath ground grabbing his legs and pulled him down below as the floor closed right back up.

"Xander!" Buffy ran right for the ground and started stomping it in a fury as it dented around her foot.

River shook her head and looked behind her. "Too late."

Buffy followed River's line of sight and saw eight gruff looking men in suits with blue gloves. "Ladies and Gentlemen the bastard love children of the Men in Black and the Blue Man Group."

Buffy watched as one of them pulled out something that looked like the Men in Black's flashy thing and promptly kicked it out of his hands.

Willow flew through the missile blasts barely dodging each. She focused her thoughts on Xander and River and pleaded for anything from them. "River, Xander will someone give me a head's up as to what's going on in there."

"Two by two, hands blue, Xander's missing, Buffy's fighting them." River replied through Willow's mind.

Willow breathed a sigh of relief good at least River's still alive and they can get Xander out. "Oh good." Her eyes widen as her mind reels from the rest of River's message. "WHAT?"

Buffy wobbled feeling the cold blow of one of the blue glove's hands she knocks down two and the other six attack. She wishes River wasn't that scared, or a little help at all would be nice.

She blocked one's kick and another one's punch only to be hit by the third. She watches as two of them break off and grab River. "No" She runs for River but is quickly kicked in the face for acting so rash and knocked down as they grab her.

She felt a cut on her lip and can only smile seeing Twilight running into the room. The vampire jumped on the backs of the two holding River forcing them to drop her as they tumble over. Twilight took the tip of the sword used to stab him in his stomach and used it as a shiv stabbing each blue through the back of their head accidentally breaking the blade in the second one's head.

The six men in blue backed up in fear seeing the bottom of mask hanging around his nose showing them one very bad thing. One of them spoke up. "His sultara drip, it's been broken off."

Buffy saw them all terrified and distracted and quickly elbowed the two holding her freeing herself as she joined Twilight and River.

Twilight took the last piece off of the drip which was easily broke beyond repair thanks to Buffy having plenty of experience with them, slayers were lucky, they died after a day or two from poisoning. He being a vampire didn't get that blessing. He spent hundreds of years as a hemo sucking hit man, now its payback time for a little while. He reached under the bottom of the mask revealing blond hair as the mask came down with blue eyes.

Spike looked at the Blue sun logo on his duster and immediately ripped it off. "I'll take the three on the left you take the three on the right."

"OK" Buffy replied with a smile as they rushed the poor bastards in blue.

Xander opened his one good eye that thing pulled him through the floor then he woke up here. He took a couple steps into the room and looked around seeing he ended up in an office as he looked through the desk looking for a map of where he is.

"People tell you things all the time without talking. The way they move, the way they aren't talking."

Xander turned to his wife's voice playing on a screen.

"You're very intuitive." Another voice said.

River smiled and Xander smiled seeing a smile from his wife's better days. "Simon says I was born with the third eye. He hates when I can tell which girls he likes."

The video seemingly skipped ahead, or went to a different session. The River in this session seems slightly worried, a bit nervous, and somewhat terrified, like a wigged out Buffy. "I don't think... I'm sorry. I think there's been an error. I don't think... I think I may not be the right subject for these... For this program."

Xander squinted his eye trying to see the interviewer. Give him a name tag something Willow can turn inside out or he can unleash some violence on. "It's perfectly natural to feel a little nervous."

"I just... if it were possible to be transferred, I would make a... I would like to request a transfer." River practically pleaded.

"You want to be back in GenEd." The Interviewer asked.

River nodded. "Please."

"You told us that was no good for you, that it was too slow. That's why you're here" The interviewer pointed out.

River looked like she was about to cry. "Please. It hurts."

Xander watched the segue and this time River was at her far worst. Well at least worst then anything he has seen. "I have a system. You make an assumption because you have a system. Your system. You're symptomatic. It's chronic. You think it's benign, but it has to be cut out. This system is simple. Blanket folded thus, the sheet pulled taut, the mattress. The mattress can't be trusted. It has to be gutted. I looked under 20 and found a pea, and you wonder why I'm not sleeping? Are you worried that I cut up my mattress for no reason, or that I had a perfectly good reason that you can't see? Can't see anyone. Even the orderlies wear masks."

"Why did you cut up your mattress?" The interviewer asked.

"I am trying to protect my spine." River replied through her madness.

The interviewer remained calm in his seat, bastard. "Are you worried you might be injured? Your movement trainers have given you excellent..."

"No one will give me a mission." River cut him off.

"A mission?" The interviewer asked.

River nodded. "I have a reason. I'm reasonable. I have a reason."

Xander watched as the screen went to static and when it came back. River was face down on a table practically shrieking and crying. "They're sticking in me. It's in the mattress and it's crawling inside me. You cut it out! You cut it out! You cut it out!"

Xander looked away and saw the screen come back to life and hears his wife.

"I can't tell you."

Xander watched intently she had a reason now apparently.

"You can tell me anything. You know that." The interviewer pointed out.

River looked at him. "Can't tell. I'll have to write it down."

Xander watched as the interviewer handed River a pen and in a movement so fast and graceful Xander almost missed it. River took the pen and jammed it in the guy's throat. Xander involuntarily backed away watching the interviewer twitch and choke in his own blood as he died River calmly whispering at the screen blood on her hands "I see you". The movie comes to an end and the screen goes black.

Xander turned around. just a moment away from that video and saw two hands in blue. "OK Yogi, Boo Boo, what was the point of that?"

Yogi looked at him. "To make you see how dangerous River Tam really is Mr. Harris. She murdered her own doctor, whom was merely trying to help her. She belongs with us where she will be safe."

"She belongs to no one but herself." Xander countered.

Boo Boo shook his head. "She is too dangerous, what will happen if she turns on one of your crew, your own sister maybe, she belongs with us."

Xander shook his head. "From what I saw, you took a perfectly healthy brilliant girl, and tried to butcher her."

Yogi shook his head. "We didn't make her we're just trying to return her where she belongs and we can use your help to do it. We're making a better world, she's too dangerous for it."

"I will rot in hell before I help you!" Xander countered. (Goddess, please save my ass!)

Boo Boo just pulled out some flashy light thing. Xander watched a good deal of sci fi in his life it's how his first strategy in a future war is go for the flashy things. He took a paperweight off the desk and threw it at the flashy thing knocking it out of his hands. He grabbed a steel legged chair and threw it at the window shattering it. Xander ran fast the two blue men after him until he swan dived out the window. Yogi walked up to the window and watched Xander drop five stories only to be caught by the other person attacking the base.

Xander smiled in Willow's grip. "Thank you goddess."

"You are most welcome my child, now where the hell are Buffy and River?" Willow asked as Xander quickly pointed out the room.

Spike punched one with a smug smile on his face. However the fight isn't going all that well. He and Buffy are having no problem knocking them down. It's keeping them down that's the problem. He and Buffy have limits these guys don't; being what they are will do that.

Spike and Buffy back into a corner with River between them this is not going well. They watch as the wall started shaking.

Buffy looked at it can't they get one break. "What the hell is that?"

Spike smiled about time he caught a break. "The wicked witch of Sunnydale."

Buffy smiled realizing this will be the first time she's seen Willow in three years. Until she felt a familiar sting she felt years ago as a loud bang surrounded the area. Buffy looked down at a rapidly growing trail of blood from a gunshot wound in her side. The slayer collapsed on the floor as the walls were ripped off by Willow with telekinesis.

Willow looked at the scene. Her eyes grew black and with a wave of her hand all the blue men were slammed into the wall.

"Red, use lightning." Spike shouted.

"Oh" Willow happily opened her hands as lightning came out and fried the blue men revealing them to not be men at all. Willow hit them with such power their faces started to melt revealing metal. "They're robots!"

Xander looked at Buffy. No, they just got her back. "Will, get us out of here!"

"Oh right, is everyone on board?" Willow asked.

Xander held onto Buffy as River wrapped her arm around his neck and held Spike's hand with her free hand so he'll let it go for now.

Spike quickly grabbed the witch's hand. "All aboard Red, get us the hell out of here!" Spike ordered.

Willow smiled as her eyes glowed white. "Deslegrate muri tempi et intervalia!" They all disappeared in the flame of the Phoenix.

They all landed in Xander's bunk in an uncelebrated thud. Well that was fun. Xander got to his feet and saw Spike already up and on the move. He opened the bunk door and easily lifted Buffy up and over. "Where's your infirmary?"

"Downstairs to the left." River answered.

Spike ran like a man possessed followed by Willow, Xander, and River.

Jayne did everything he could to not laugh at the doc. He doesn't know where the others went but he's having a field day with the young man. "So any ideas why River would go for… Gwai-gwai long duh dong!"

Simon and Jayne turned around and saw the sight of a blond girl being carried by a blond man, followed by Xander, River, and Willow. "What happened?"

"A lot, a whole lot of interesting." Willow replied as she walked through the ship with them. "Simon, you got some doctoring to do. Jayne I need a favor. Can you make it look like we just got back in the other shuttle?"

Jayne looked at her curious but smiled a chance to screw with the Captain he'll take it. "Yeah, no problem wupo."

Willow looked at him and saw he was already halfway gone. "Da Xing."

Mal woke up to the racket and his eyes glazed over far too heavy for this and it is far too early in the morning for this. He hit the speaker system. "Can someone tell me whose making all the racket up there in my boat?"

Simon heard the noise and went for the intercom. With the doc distracted Willow put her hand up and just as before with Warren the bullet floated into her hand. "We got a wounded girl in the Medical Bay."

"Inara or Kaylee?" Mal asked sounding a bit upset. Doc knew the deal.

"Neither" Simon replied. "Now, I gotta work Captain."

Mal walked up the ladder and to his surprise he sees everyone else up and moving as well making their way to the infirmary through glazed eyes Spike's racket waking them up. He made it to the infirmary and saw Simon operating on a young blond woman Willow's age if not a little older. "Who in the gorram hell is she and how did her and the other guy get on my boat?"

Spike's eyes widened but Xander quickly grabbed his arm to stop him from vamping out. Spike turned to him and Xander shook his head. If it was anyone else Spike would have ignored it. But if there's anyone that would have a good reason to not want Caleb dead it would be him. Besides, he smells different anyway. Also after he beat the living hell out of Xander on Canton, so he kind of owes him one.

Xander looked at him. "Me and Willow received a distress call from an old friend."

Willow nodded going along with the story but not taking her eyes off Buffy. "We had Jayne take us on the second shuttle, by the time we got there she had already been shot, we had to bring her back with us and he wouldn't leave her side."

Mal looked at them. He wanted to argue but he had nothing to argue with. "Once she pulls out of the woods you four have some explaining to do."

Xander nodded and sincerely saluted. "Yes sir."

Mal glared at him. "You know how come when you say yes sir you make it sound like Tā mā de hundan"

"It's a gift." Xander quipped. "Now get out of here she might try to kill you when she wakes up."

Xander looked to River. With Buffy hurt it took him this long to realize where she is. "You don't have to be in here if you don't want to."

River just kept her eyes focused on Buffy. "It's very comforting here. Spike is empty headed."

"Hey!"

Xander rolled his eyes. "Spike, let it go I'll explain later."

Kaylee stood outside the infirmary. "Wonder who she is?"

Inara leaned against the wall and looked in and saw the Doc hard at work. "Whoever she is she's precious to them."

"Just wish I could do more to help them you know." Kaylee replied turning to Book and seeing him with a rosary in hand. "Do you mind saying that prayer out loud shepherd; Captain ain't here to stop you."

An hour later they all smiled in relief as Buffy opened her eyes she smiled seeing her two best friends and grabbed each of their hands almost assuring herself that they're here and they are real.

Willow smiled looking at her. "Hey you"

"You're real?" Buffy asked as she showed an almost gigawatt smile.

Willow leaned in and gently kissed her on the forehead. "We're real."

Buffy looked at Xander and River. "And they're really married?"

Willow laughed. "Yes Buffy, they're married."

Buffy smiled hearing that she always wanted Xander to be happy, she thought it was last time with Anya. However, that was more like the light of a speed train. River looked to Xander and smiled but it quickly faded into a wide eyed look of fear. Now that he's not concerned about Buffy she saw it clear on his face. "You know, how, how do you know?"

Xander looked at her panicked. One downside to marrying a psychic. "I didn't look for it; I didn't set out for it I..."

River looked at him tears starting to show. "You were never supposed to find out no one, now it's all crashing… everything is becoming…" Xander tried to just touch her but she batted his hand away and ran. "Bu Kan bu Kan."

Buffy looked at him. Whatever Xander did, he might have screwed up bad. "Catch up later go after her." She saw him look at her almost like he didn't want to leave. "Xander, I'm fine. Just sleepy I'll see you later... now go."

Xander nodded and took a moment to hug Buffy as soon as he was off her he saw Simon. "Not now doc."

Simon looked at him he would not back down not now. "I can't not after the way River reacted what did you see?"

Xander looked away. "That's between her and me."

"I'm her brother who the hell are you to keep that from me!" Simon asked.

Xander shook his head. "Just walk away doc."

"No! Whether she tells me or you this is upsetting her and I intend to…"

Mal watched he always knew if Xander and Simon got into a real fight it wouldn't last long and sure enough, it didn't. One punch to his liver and Simon was on the floor twitching.

Xander looked at what he did. "Do me a favor and ignore everything your sister said." He looked at him again and frowned he was just trying to be supportive and find out what's wrong with River like he would do for Buffy and Willow. "I'm sorry I hit you."

Buffy watched as a small girl walked in and tended to the downed doc as Xander left. She looked up to Willow. "So is that Jane?"

Willow shook her head, Xander Harris would pay for this. "Um, no, not exactly."

Buffy nodded and saw another woman in the window this one looking like an antique doll. "So you married the girl in there."

"No." Willow replied.

Buffy looked around and saw another woman with the look of a slayer hanging out with her own version of Xander if the Hawaiian shirt was anything to go by. "Oh, she's Jane."

At that Zoe laughed wondering how Willow was going to explain this one.

Wash's face lit up in a smile. "I will pay you my cut form the Ariel job if you let me tell her."

Willow glared at him and some color left Wash's face. "Jayne isn't a girl. I got drunk and married a guy."

Buffy looked at her and within a moment she broke down in laughter while she looked around for Willow's husband, she needed that, something to laugh about. She saw the doctor and not much there. She looked and her face changed to horror as she tried to shoot up but Willow stopped her or at least tried to until Spike got her other shoulder as they struggled a bit, with a lot of unseen magic, a bullet wound, and vampire strength they finally kept Buffy down. "What are you doing! Do you not see him! I don't know how you survived me slicing and dicing you in half but I won't let you hurt anyone else Caleb! I'll kill you!"

Willow nodded. "It's not what it looks like. He's not Caleb Buffy I swear."

Buffy kept struggling to break free eventually flinging Willow off. The red headed quickly grabbed her again as the slayer shouted. "You're being manipulated by Blue Sun. Don't fall for it."

Willow shook her head. "I swear on Tara's grave, it's not Caleb." With Willow's words the fight promptly leaves Buffy.

Mal looked through the window wow, thank god he wasn't in there. Willow wasn't kidding when she said they'd kill him on their moon.

Buffy looked around she sees a priest with a catholic cross, definitely not him. She sees the Hawaiian man with the warrior woman sharing a look of concern and laughter from her, so they're a thing. She looks at the doctor and he… definitely has a thing for the girl helping him up. She looks at the last person the default since he just came in. "Dear god you married… wha… why...how?"

"Alcohol is a very powerful thing." Willow supplied.

Spike looked at the merc; now that Buffy hasn't bled out he gets a good look at him. "He's not a lawyer is he?"

Willow let out a laugh she desperately needed. "No, definitely not a lawyer."

"Could just be a ruse." Spike countered.

Simon looked at him if he wasn't so concerned about River he'd probably have a laugh at that. "No, I've known Jayne longer then Willow has, trust me, he's not a lawyer." He looked to the door wonder what Xander and River are talking about?"

Spike looked at the doctor, He figures hands in blue showed Xander River's assassin side just like he advised them to do. Xander has a low tolerance for killers it seemed like a good shot at getting River back but failed, apparently that's changed since Sunnydale. Most likely, because of Anya and the frat boys. "I saw what Xander saw doc. River wasn't wearing underwear one day at the academy. Made for a nice Gisele moment when she stood under a vent."

Mal looked at him given how erratic River can be sometimes he'll believe it. Simon let out a laugh OK that's embarrassing at least now he has something over her.

Buffy looked to Spike. She's assuming Giselle is the equivalent of Marilyn. The comfort of the lie, she wondered what it really was. And if the doc would even buy it.

Mal turned to Willow after Buffy got a clean bill of health from the doc, whom is going to watch her tonight. "Alright, you want to tell me what in the hell happened tonight?"

Willow looked away, she knew that was coming but now she had to explain it. "Malcolm Reynolds, this is Buffy Summers, and William 'Spike' Pratt."

"And an interesting pair they make." Mal commented on them something isn't right about either of them. "Still doesn't explain everything, like why you took my shuttle this late at night."

Willow made a motion with her hand sending mystical data to Xander's tablet device. "We thought Buffy was dead, we thought she died years ago. Then out of the blue Xander got a wave from Spike, Ends up Buffy wasn't dead, the Alliance just had her kidnapped on a moon not that far from here."

Spike rolled his eyes; he had quickly reached his limit. "By the time I got there Xander found Buffy in cryogenic suspension him and River got her out. Between the three of them they even managed to kill Twilight and saved me from him."

Mal nodded in relief that was one enemy off a rapidly growing list.

Willow took over form there. "Buffy was shot during the escape hence why we all came rushing in here for the infirmary."

Mal turned to Jayne. "And you drove the shuttle?"

Jayne turned to Willow whose eyes were practically pleading with him to go along with it. "She paid me plenty, but not enough to actually fight the Alliance just stayed in the shuttle till they got back."

Simon went to speak up but the death glare given to him by Spike and Jayne got him to back off. Someone's going to have to talk to him about what really happened.

Xander went to his bunk and saw it locked he hit the master release Kaylee showed him only for all the bunks to lock again, he hit it again, and again the master lock was activated. "River, I can stand by this switch all day." Xander smiled as the lock was released. Xander hopped on the ladder and climbed down seeing his bride sitting on the bed, knees to her face.

River looked at him. "Never wanted to see, never wanted anyone to see, I functioned, I did my job, and I stopped."

Xander sat down on the bed with her Indian style. "I never blamed you, it's not your fault. if that's what you're thinking… no one... have I mentioned I suck at these."

River looked at him and even with her head in her knees. Xander saw the 'you're stupid' look. "I'm what they made me. An alliance shiong-tsan sha-sho, it's all I am."

Xander tilted his head. He's had experience with this from baby slayers. Her feeling like her life is nothing but a weapon. "If you honestly believe that your brother gives you way too much credit." River looked at him intrigued. "You think you're nothing more then the Alliance's ruthless killer, that's what you said isn't it?"

"Ass kicking killer" River corrected him.

Xander nodded but let it go. "Right, well if you're such a Shang Tsung sha sho, why did you call Simon for help? Why did you just knock out the guards in that facility we were in instead of killing them? Why did you help me save my best friend instead of just killing some people? Why did you marry me? "

River looked at him for a moment and it's true, he doesn't see her any different hell if anything… "You think I'm stronger then them."

Xander smiled and looked away. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to being married to a telepath. "You mean here you are living a life on the run of your own free will while they're sending Spike and rejects of the blue men group after you. Yeah, I think you trump the Alliance everyday." The Alliance had her kill that guy to break her but if anything it seemed to motivate her to get Simon to get her out. They cut into her brain and did everything to break her yet she's living a free life and they're secretly panicking over one beautiful eighteen year old woman.

River looked at him with a smile. "You think I'm beautiful."

"You know I do." Xander replied

River smiled and practically tackled him down to the bed. She kissed him and Xander quickly deepened the kiss.

Xander looked at his wife as they came up for air. "Guess I have to face the inquisition huh?"

"Not right away." River countered wrapping his arms around her. "Just stay for a while."

Xander looked at her it's getting harder to get away from her and with what she's been trying to do. "I should probably..."

"Jen mei NAI-shing duh FWO-tzoo, please just spend the night here for Buddha's sake!" River muttered under breath before she practically tackled Xander to the bed. The two kissed as River started with Xander's shirt. Xander just smiled as River slid her dress down. They're sure not starting on the right foot but maybe just tonight she wants this. Bring it on special hell!

Author Notes

Thanks for the reviews

Sorry for the long delay

Xander has never been anywhere near normal with women. Why start now? The closest thing to normal he had was Dawn.

This chapter ran so long the conversation between Jayne and Willow is going to have to wait until next chapter. Along with a conversation between dead people.

Translations (Some are not likely right)

Gwai-gwai long duh dong! = What the hell

Wupo = Witch

Da Xing= Big Ape

Bu Kan= Don't look

"Shiong-tsan sha-sho" (ass kicking killer)

Jen mei NAI-shing duh FWO-tzoo - Extraordinarily Impatient Buddha