Joann

Sammie walked toward the front door in response to the loud knocking. As she reached it, she looked back over her shoulder at her father and Tony. "Remember, you guys need to be out of earshot, especially you, Dad." Gibbs's expression was worried, and Tony's was faintly mutinous.

Sammie smiled as she opened the door. "Hi, Grandma."

Gibbs and Tony glanced at each other, surprise evident on their faces.

Joann's eye widened, and she lifted a hand toward Sammie, though she didn't touch her. "You called me Grandma. Do you remember me now, from when you were little?"

"Not really… I'm sorry." Sammie's smile dimmed slightly as she gave Joann an apologetic look. "I thought maybe calling you that might trigger some memories, though… do you mind?"

Joann smiled. "Of course not, dear."

"Come on in." Sammie waved Joann inside. Gibbs and Tony greeted her; Joann seemed surprised to see Tony there.

"We're going out back to work on some landscaping," Gibbs commented after a brief silence.

Joann frowned as the two men headed for the back door. "Does Tony ever go home?"

Sammie laughed. "He stayed on the couch last night because of a water main break near his apartment. Dad says he has to pay rent in the form of yard work." She threaded her arm through Joann's. "Let's go outside too… it's such a nice day."

She and Joann walked outside and sat at the picnic table, Joann with her back to the house, Sammie opposite her. Gibbs and Tony were in one far corner of the yard, getting set to take down dead branches from some trees.

Joann scanned the yard, her expression apprehensive. Sammie reached over to pat her hand. "I left Jack upstairs in my room; he won't bother you."

"Thank you, my dear," Joann relaxed and took hold of Sammie's hand. "I'm sure he's a very nice dog."

Sammie grinned. "He has a mind of his own, that's for sure." They heard a yelp, and both turned to look in the guys' direction; Tony was shaking his hand vigorously, then brought a finger to his mouth. Gibbs said something they couldn't hear, and Tony held the hand out for inspection.

"Oh, dear," Joann commented.

Sammie watched until Gibbs let go of Tony's hand, cuffed him lightly on the back of the head, and both men returned to what they'd been doing. "I don't think Tony's done much yard work," she said to Joann. She smiled at the older woman. "Did you have breakfast? Can I get you anything to drink?"

Joann shook her head, gazing at her face. "This morning I thought I imagined how much you look like my Shannon." She smiled tentatively. "I didn't."

Sammie tilted her head. "Dad's friend Ducky thought I was Kelly before they ran the DNA tests… he saw some of Dad's bone structure in my face."

Joann glanced in Gibbs' direction, then looked thoughtfully at Sammie. "Yes… you have his cheekbones." She narrowed her eyes a bit and then nodded. "I see your paternal grandmother in you too, around your eyes."

"That's what Grandpa Jack said!" Sammie exclaimed.

Joann smiled. "He's a good man. Does he still run the store?"

Sammie nodded. "Dad took me to see him in Stillwater a few days after his team found me."

Joann blinked at that, frowning, so Sammie changed the subject. "I keep remembering a little more about Mom… can you tell me some stories about her as a child? She must have told me some, but I don't remember them."

Joann's face cleared, and she began talking. Sammie listened, eager to learn, but at the same time hoping for something she could use later. She occasionally asked questions, but mostly she listened as Joann told stories about Shannon growing up.

Almost an hour later, as planned, Gibbs walked over to the table. "Kelly."

Sammie shook her head, keeping her eyes on Joann's face. "Not now, Dad."

"Kelly, I just –"

"No, Dad. I'm talking with Grandma."

Gibbs stood there for a moment, then turned away and walked back to where Tony was fighting with tree branches. Sammie squeezed Joann's hand and asked her to continue. Joann's expression was a mix of happiness and triumph as she launched into a new story.

A while later, Joann was talking about a visit from Gibbs, Shannon and Kelly when Kelly was four years old. "You brought me the most beautiful wildflowers. Shannon said you picked them during a hike earlier that morning." Joann paused, looking over to the far corner of the yard where Gibbs was chopping wood. "Kelly, why is Tony staring at you?"

Sammie turned to see Tony sitting on the ground, picking at the grass while he looked in their direction. "I don't know," she admitted, a little puzzled by the dejection she thought she saw in Tony's slumped shoulders. She couldn't see his expression clearly. Looking back at Joann, she prompted her for more about that visit. "I brought you flowers?"

"Yes." Joann was smiling at the memory; it made her seem younger. "You brought me beautiful flowers. You helped me arrange them in a vase. Mack and Jethro were doing some repairs out by the shed, and the three of us had a lovely time together."

"Mom was happy?"

Joann nodded, smiling gently. "Your mother was so very happy." She looked into Sammie's eyes. "She loved you with everything she had."

Sammie felt tears gathering and forced them away. "Did she love my dad too?"

Joann nodded. "Don't doubt that for a moment, Kelly. Shannon adored your father."

Sammie smiled. "What else did we do during that visit?" Her eyes widened. "Wait," she said slowly, holding up a hand. "Did… did we bake cookies?"

"Chocolate chip." Joann stared at her. "Do you remember?"

Sammie blinked, biting her lip. "I think so… a little." She looked at Joann. "I remember… colors? Stained glass hanging in the kitchen window? The sun coming in…"

Joann's hand went to her mouth. "Yes… the afternoon sun. You loved the different colors on the wall." She gripped Sammie's hand tightly. "You do remember!"

"A little… the smell of cookies baking, the colors… I remember… crying?"

"Yes." Joann sighed. "When it was time for you to leave, you didn't want to go. You were crying. Shannon couldn't get you to stop. Jethro promised you would all come visit again soon, and you finally smiled."

Sammie's brow furrowed. "Did we? Visit again soon, I mean."

"You did. A few weeks later, you all came back and spent a weekend with us."

Sammie nodded. "Dad kept his word."

Joann smiled. "He always did. Shannon told me that was one of the things she loved about him. He was always honest and when he said he would do something, he did it."

Sammie nodded, removed her hand from Joann's, patting her grandmother's hand as she did, and got to her feet. "I'm going to go inside and get everyone some water."

Joann watched Gibbs and Tony and they continued to clear tree branches. Sammie came back outside with a tray loaded with four glasses of water. She set the tray down, picked up two of them, and brought them over to Gibbs and Tony. Joann watched as both men drank all the water; Gibbs reached out to tuck Sammie's hair behind her ear, and Joann felt as if her heart skipped a beat as she was hit with a vivid memory of him doing the same as he explained to his young daughter that they would visit Grandma and Grandpa again soon. Tears filled her eyes as she remembered Shannon watching him with Kelly, the love she had for her family so clearly present on her face.

Sammie came back to the table with the empty glasses, putting them on the tray, then picking up the full ones, setting one down in front of Joann while she sipped from the other as she sat back down. She put the glass down, staring at the water for a moment, then looked up at Joann, her expression serious. "Thank you for the stories." She smiled slightly. "If things go the way they have with my memories, more will come back to me over the next few weeks."

"I'm so happy to hear that," Joann said.

Sammie took a deep breath, then faced Joann squarely. "I know what happened a year ago."

Joann blinked. "About how my fiancé was killed?"

"About how you killed him."

Joann stared at her, her mouth open, silent. Her eyes flickered from Sammie to Gibbs and back.

Sammie reached out and took Joann's hand. "Dad wouldn't have told me, but Tony figured it out. He said the evidence from the crime scene didn't make sense for anyone but you to have done it."

Joann's eyes closed. "You must hate me."

Sammie shook her head. "I don't."

Joann opened her eyes. "Why not?"

"I almost did, but not because of that." Sammie pulled her hand away from Joann's and leaned forward, resting her forearms on the table. "I almost hated you because you tried to get me to hate Dad for what he did, killing the man who killed Mom… and all along you killed someone who had nothing to do with it."

"He was doing business with the cartel," Joann said weakly.

"But he didn't kill Mom. He didn't have anything to do with what happened twenty years ago."

Joann stared at her hands where they rested on the table. "I had to do something. My girls were gone, my marriage fell apart…"

Sammie reached out to tap Joann's hand with her index finger. "I can't say what you did was right, but I might be able to understand why you did it." She sat back a little as Joann looked up at her. "You didn't get any help, did you?"

"Help?"

"Friends, family, a therapist… you let what happened gnaw at you for years."

Joann looked away. "I suppose I did."

"It filled you with hate… and you directed some of that at Dad."

Joann looked at her. Sammie returned her gaze evenly. "What we just talked about, that day at your house when I was four… that didn't sound as though either Mom or I were… what was it you said? Worshiping Dad?"

Joann's face turned red; her expression was a mix of shame and anger.

Sammie kept talking. "Everything you described… it was a family. What a family should be. You said it yourself… Mom loved my dad. And he was honest, kept his word, made us happy. Is that right?"

Joann took a deep breath, then looked at Sammie. "Yes."

"Do you still blame him for what happened?"

Joann looked at her, shrugging her shoulders, her expression bewildered.

"I think you talked yourself into hating him. Did you know he'd been hurt, and that's why he didn't come back right away?"

Joann slowly shook her head.

Sammie tilted her head, looking at Joann curiously. "How did you kill your fiancé?"

Joann stared at her.

Sammie sighed. "It's okay. None of us are going to tell anyone else. Dad said he and some lawyer set it up so you can't be prosecuted anyway. And I don't want Dad getting in trouble for not arresting you."

Joann's gaze shifted to the table. "I shot him," she murmured. "Twice. My girls died because the agent protecting him was shot, so I did the same."

Sammie nodded. "Tony didn't stay over last night because of a water main break."

Joann looked up at her, confused.

"He stayed because he thinks you want to hurt Dad. He won't let Dad go without protection as long as you're in town."

Joann looked over at Tony and Gibbs; the two men were both sitting on the ground, too far away to hear the conversation, but watching the women.

"They know what we're talking about," Sammie said gently. "They also know you won't hurt me."

Joann gasped. "I could never hurt you."

"I know. But you want to hurt Dad."

Joann's lips trembled slightly. She looked away from Sammie until she had them under control. "Yes," she said quietly.

"You already did, you know," Sammie said.

Joann's brow furrowed. "How?"

"You buried his family before he could get home. You prevented him from saying goodbye." Sammie sighed, reaching up to wipe away a tear before it could fall. "I still think you didn't intentionally identify Samantha Kendall as me, because that would mean you chose to lose me, and I don't see you doing that. But maybe on some subconscious level you knew, and you were getting back at Dad because you felt he had taken us away from you, so by burying us, you were taking us away from him."

Joann closed her eyes and sat quietly for a moment, then looked at Sammie. "Perhaps you're right. I honestly don't know."

"It makes you even, you know… if one accepts the idea that Dad took us away from you. You already hurt him… he went through hell for twenty years, missing us and blaming himself for what happened. You helped put him in that hell, whether you meant to at the time or not." She met Joann's eyes. "Isn't that enough?"

Joann shook her head helplessly. "I don't… I don't know. I wanted to do to him what I did to… what I did a year ago."

"You wanted to shoot him?" Sammie asked the question dispassionately, as if she were asking about the weather.

Joann blinked at her. "He poisoned my relationship with my girls."

Sammie looked at her thoughtfully. "You shot one man because Mom died due to someone getting shot… so you would poison Dad."

Joann closed her eyes; tears started to make their way down her face.

Sammie waited until Joann reached up to wipe them away and opened her eyes again. "Do you feel any differently, now that you know I'm here?"

Joann shrugged.

Sammie sighed. "You twisted good memories into something awful, didn't you? In all those years, you forgot what our family was really like. That day at your house… you didn't hate my Dad then, did you?"

Joann shook her head.

"What would my mom think, if she knew how much you grew to hate the man she loved?"

Joann brought her hand up to cover her face. "Please… stop."

"I can't do that. I need to know you won't try to hurt my father."

Joann sniffed, then lowered her hand. "I wouldn't. Not now. Not after… not after remembering."

Sammie considered that. "How can I believe you?"

Joann stared at her, then reached for her purse and began rummaging through it. She pulled out a small bottle, looked at it for a moment, then handed it to Sammie. "Here. It's all I have."

Sammie took it; it was a small brown bottle with no label. "What is it?"

"I don't know," Joann said quietly. "I was promised it would do the job. All I had to do was add it to whatever Jethro was drinking."

Sammie nodded slowly. "Thank you for telling me… and for not using this."

Joann looked away, wiping at her face again. "What happens now?"

Sammie sat back, sighing. "Mom would want us to help you."

Joann looked at her, surprised.

"You're my grandmother," Sammie said quietly. "And what you did was wrong, and much, much worse than what Dad did… but while I can't condone it, I can understand it a little." Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Joann. "Don't get me wrong… I'm trying very hard not to be absolutely furious with you for this." She lifted the little bottle into the air. "If you ever try to hurt Dad… if you come after him yourself, or you send someone else after him…" she paused, trying to calm down. "You would have to take out his entire team," she said quietly. "They are damn good at what they do, and they will trace it back to you if you are responsible. And if that ever happens, not only will they make sure you pay for it, you will be dead to me."

Joann closed her eyes, unable to prevent a quiet sound of distress from escaping her lips.

"But…" Sammie said slowly, "and this is for Mom… if you get help, and I mean real, serious therapy with a professional… then I will want to hear more stories about my mom, and see if we – and by we, I mean me, Dad, and you – can be a family again."

Joann stared at her, hopeful. "Do you mean that?"

Sammie nodded. "I do. And while I haven't actually run that by Dad, I think we both know, given what he did a year ago, he would still do anything for Mom."

"I promise you, I will find someone to talk to."

"Good." Sammie sat there, looking at Joann. "Do you know how to find someone?"

Joann nodded. "I have a friend who lives near me. She went through a difficult time. Very depressed. Her therapist helped her through it, did her a lot of good."

"Okay." Sammie took a deep breath. "Next steps… I'm going to ask Tony to take you back to your hotel and help you get to the train station. Go home, get help." She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket. "Here's my cell phone number. Once you've had your first session with a therapist, call me. We can start talking again. You might have to leave a message if I'm at work, 'cause my phone will be on silent. But I promise I'll get back to you." Sammie hesitated. "Oh… talk to the therapist about how we can get proof that you're getting the help you need."

Joann looked angry for a moment, but then she glanced at the small brown bottle sitting so innocuously on the table, and her expression cleared. "I will." She reached for Sammie's hand, and after a moment's pause, Sammie let her take it. "Thank you for giving me another chance," Joann said softly.

Sammie nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She held her grandmother's hand for a few seconds, then pulled away and waved to Tony and Gibbs, who both rose to their feet and walked quickly over to the table.

Within a few minutes, Tony ushered Joann out of the house and into his car, while Gibbs held Sammie in his arms as she cried.