Fade Away Again, Chapter 19 Buffy

I'm pleasantly buzzed, and surprisingly happy to be doing research. After spilling my guts to Giles for the better part of two hours...Or three?...Anyway, when I finished telling Giles all about the last month, with a few segues into the previous three years, I felt a lot better. I didn't want to argue with him, and I knew if I let him brood over everything he'd probably start poking holes in my story, or asking for details I didn't want to give, so I found us something else to do.

It seems like neither of us will be sleepy anytime soon, so I suggested it might kill some time and be a good distraction if we looked at the research the LA slayers sent. So I copied the fax they'd sent over and we each started reading.

It turned out to be really fascinating stuff. I was glad I had a printout to look at, and not an old book or something, because I could take notes on the pages. And I had a surprising amount of notes to take. Evidently the Order of Aurelius was coming to an end, which explained Giles' phone call the other day asking if I'd heard anything about vampires spontaneously combusting. The end result of the Wolfram & Hart battle, assuming they were successful, would be a period of peace for the Clan of Sineya and two ex-vampires.

There was something about the Champion of the Slayer, and I made some notes about Emily and Spike. There was something about twinned souls that they thought referred to Spike and Angel, which made more sense than they even knew, and I jotted a few details in the margins there. The most surprising things to me were about Slayer's mates, and about the Key and the Destroyer. If I was interpreting that correctly, Dawn and her…Mate, I guess…Were both inherently neutral, outside of the traditional Slayer mission of good vs. evil. Which makes a weird kind of sense, in that we weren't even sure she was going to get Slayer powers until it happened, and it's not like she was born in a normal way. Still, that was a lot. I do not want to be thinking about my baby sister "mating" with anyone.

I look up from contemplating the section on the Key to see if Giles has any thoughts on it, and find him making a face like he'd sucked on a lemon, or wants to argue with what he's reading. Rather than notes in the margins he's started taking notes on a legal pad he must have grabbed from my desk. Probably not in the mood to chat, then.

I was about to return to reading when my mobile phone rang in my pocket, startling me. Most of the people who call me on it are either in the apartment with me or unconscious in LA. I fumble a bit pulling it out of my pocket, hoping against hope to see either Spike's or Willow's name on the caller ID. When I see the number I put it on speaker. "Spike?" Please, please.

"Unfortunately, no." Responds an unfamiliar female voice. "This is Laurie Kent, I think you spoke to my mom, Jezebel Neves, earlier?"

I try to smile encouragingly even though she can't see me. "Hi, yeah, I got a call from Jezebel earlier. Is everything okay there?"

"Wellll…" The voice on the other end of the line pauses, and I want to reach through the phone and grab the girl, forcing her to respond faster. "I think you should come to LA. Now.

"I'm...I got the sense something was going down, so I followed it, and ended up at William...Spike…'s...Bedside. He's started some kind of transition. His heart is beating some, and he's definitely breathing, but…I think the vampire demon is fighting it? At least, maybe. Something is definitely fighting the change, or making it go really slowly for some reason.

"Connor checked, and Angel seems to be progressing pretty steadily. This isn't a prophecy thing, we think, it's something else. I don't know what to do, except that I can tell that he needs something…Guiding, or calming, or something? Anyway, sitting near him and touching him is soothing, and keeps him from screaming. But, I'm pretty sure that's only because I'm related to you. I think I'm the only one here who is, and I'm definitely the only person who's been able to make the screaming stop, we tried it. If you could be here yourself to do whatever I'm supposed to be doing, I'm sure you'll be better at it, or you know, understand what I'm actually meant to be doing. I feel so bloody useless, here; I'm just holding his hand. I can tell he's in pain, though, and I think I feel the tension between the demons…Some kind of tensions, anyway…When can you get here? I don't know if I can do this."

I feel myself sober up as the other slayer rambles. Screaming pain, definitely not good. As her final words rush out, I realize I need to go to him, that I know what to do. I hope. "Let me work on transportation. I'll call you back as soon as I figure it out, sweetie. Thank you for being there, and for calling me."

Laurie gasps faintly on the other end of the phone, "He's in so much pain. We have to help him stay here. Please, come quick." She gasps again, or maybe sobs, but before either of us can demand more information or reassure her, she hangs up.

Damnit, I need to leave, and I don't really know how to explain that to Giles or Dawn. Neither of them are going to be happy with me. I stare at the phone, thinking for a minute, then meet Giles' gaze. I'm not explaining a damn thing. "So, I don't suppose you took some Council private jet here from London?"

Giles blinks at me. Evidently that wasn't what he was expecting. "I did, actually, but it went from here directly to Hungary to pick up a new Slayer and her husband on their way to England. It'll be back for me tomorrow night."

Well, shit. There's only one other person to call for immediate transportation, and Marco's help frequently comes with a cost. I just hope it's not more than I want to pay. I sigh and dial my cell phone. Giles frowns at me, probably trying to guess who I'm calling, and what I mean to do.

"'Allo, Sineya?"

"Hey, Marco. I need a favor." Giles winces. He's never been happy taking help from the Immortal, although I don't see how he thinks he gets a say in this. At least I'm not on speaker, so I don't have to worry about him butting in.

"For love or money, cara?" Marco chuckles. "Ah, I kid; obviously it's for your William. What can I do for you this time?"

I try really hard not to roll my eyes or wince or make some other facial expression that's going to antagonize Giles. "I need to get to LA, now. How fast can you get me there?"

"Ahh, well I suppose that depends on how quickly you need to get there. I can simply send you in a jet, and you'll be there in six hours or so. I can also make you a portal which will be faster, maybe 10 or 15 minutes? But, this has it's own difficulties. Do you know how long you'll be away from your Slayers?"

"I think at least a couple of days. Worst case, a couple of weeks?"

"And who will be covering for your absence, m'lady? Will they be able to take over immediately if you leave in a portal? You won't be able to duck back and forth, you see. I don't have that kind of power; a portal is a one-way solution, you'll have to find another way home. You should consider all of your options carefully."

I shiver. That sounds…Not threatening exactly, but like there's definitely a cost to this portal option. I can almost hear Spike's voice telling us magic has consequences. " Actually, I don't know. Can I call you back?"

"No need, cara. I will come over to you now, and when I arrive you can tell me what you've decided."

I blink. Marco's usually on a date at this time of night, and not generally willing to drop everything for another person unless it suits him. Gee, this keeps getting weirder. Still, fast is what I need, so… "Oh, actually that's perfect. Thanks, I'll see you in a few."

I sigh as I hang up the phone and put it down. "So, Marco is coming over. He said he can get me there with magic in 10 minutes or so, but he wants to make sure that I've considered everything first." I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "I don't know what he thinks I have to be sure about. You can stay here for a few days and cover for me, right?"

"Buffy." Giles clears his throat. "I thought you were just telling me that you didn't go to Los Angeles because you were worried about having coverage here, and leaving Dawn? Now all of the sudden you're running off so fast you can't be bothered to take a flight? Does this seem odd to you at all? It seems odd to me."

I feel my eyebrows furrowing as I think of what to say. You'd think that reading about this prophecy would help clear some stuff up for him. "Giles…You know that feeling when you do a vision quest, or when you meditate? When you're looking for an answer inside yourself, and maybe you don't even know to what, but then you realize what it is, and it just seems so obvious? Then you know exactly what you are meant to do?"

Giles looks like he has no idea what I'm talking about, but he's nodding in response so I continue. "This is like that, Giles. When Spike called me about the fight in LA, it killed me but I knew I couldn't go. Spike knew it, too. Now, it feels like I need to be there. Looking at this prophecy stuff, I even have a hunch on why, and what I'm going to need to do. If I'm extremely lucky, Laurie and I will get at least one more person to help, it's going to be very draining." Buffy stood. "The hardest part is going to be telling Dawn she can't come. I should do that. Answer the door if Marco gets here?"

Giles nods again, looking like he really wants to argue but doesn't quite know how. So, I get while the getting's good.

"Hey, Dawn." I knock on her bedroom door, smiling at the murmur I get in reply. When I open the door Dawn's blinking at me groggily from the middle of her bed, where she evidently dozed off, fully clothed, with all her lights on, the phone in one hand and a textbook on her stomach.

"So, do you want the good news, or the bad news." Dawn sits up, and I sit on the edge of the bed next to her.

A look of horror comes over her face. "Oh, no. Did someone die? Is Giles…"

"Dawn, no!" I shut her down before she can work herself up too much. That was dumb, Buffy. I didn't mean to upset her like that; I forget sometimes that Dawn's imagination can tend to run away with her. "It's nothing like that. One of the Slayers called from LA, and they need me to come. Now, basically. Marco's going to help me with the transportation, he's on his way over here to help. Do you remember what Jezebel said about Spike and Angel transitioning today, that they probably won't be vampires for much longer?" I wince, because I can almost sense what's coming. "Dawnie, I'm probably going to have to do a Slayer quest to help Spike transition, his vampire demon is having trouble letting go. Or, refusing to let go, or something. The thing is…I don't think it's a good idea for you to be around while I do the thing. I'm worried about how your Key-powers might affect the situation. Also, I don't know how long I'm going to be gone, and you shouldn't miss school."

Yup, I can practically see smoke come out of her ears as Dawn absorbs what I just said. "Did you seriously just tell me that Spike's in trouble, and I'm not ALLOWED to help? Why should I trust you to help him, anyway; maybe you'll just decide this whole 'trying to have a real relationship' thing is too complicated and let him die?"

I reach for her hand and squeeze it, trying to be reassuring instead of mad. "First of all, barely more than a year ago you were threatening to set him on fire, so there's no need to start acting like Spike's personal defender. We both have a lot of baggage to sort out with him, I'm not the only one with work to do, missy." Dawn blushes and hangs her head. I don't want to hurt her or make her feel guilty, but I also don't want to be the victim of her misplaced defensiveness. "Second; and this is going to sound really…Woo-ish…But I have a sense about what I'll need to do to help him transition. It's not really something you should be involved in. I don't know if I can explain it any better than that. It's going to…I don't really know, but it might involve some kind of…Seeing into Spike's unconscious? Like I said, this is mostly a hunch and instinct, and I don't have any words for a lot of it. But, if I need to confront fully-vampire Spike, I can deal with that. You're still working on rebuilding your relationship, I'm just not sure it would do either of you any good for you to be there." I really hope that was more coherent than it felt, because I don't know what else to say, and I don't want to have to pull the 'because I say so' card.

Fortunately, Dawn sighs and nods. "Yeah, okay. Just, be careful, please? I don't want you to get hurt, and I really don't want you guys to hurt each other. Please."

I smile and hug her, grateful that this wasn't the fight I was imagining. I must have been pretty coherent, then. Or I struck a guilty-Dawn nerve. "I'll be so careful you'll be very impressed when I get back and tell you about it. Also, I don't think you'll have to worry about Spike dying, so that's one less thing to worry over."

Dawn snorts and rolls her eyes. "Gee, thanks. So very reassuring."

Just then the doorbell rings. "Okay, so that'll be Marco. I guess he wasn't joking when he said he'd get me to LA quickly."

By the time Dawn and I make it back to the living room, Giles has let the Immortal in, and Marco is busy unwrapping a totally unnecessary scarf from his throat and putting down a…Briefcase? Weird. He smiles when he spots us. "Ah, mie adorabili ragazze. Lady Sineya, are you ready to be on your way? Have you decided how you wish to travel? I regret that if you wish to travel by portal, I can send only you."

Dawn rolls her eyes and snorts at Marco, I assume because she has no wish to be one of his lovely girls, even if he calls everyone stuff like that. "Yes, I'm sure you regret that deeply. Why don't I go grab your go bag, Buffy? And you two can discuss travel." She turns without waiting for a response and heads into my bedroom.

"Thanks, Dawnie," I call after her. Then I turn to Marco, feeling like I should take a deep breath, or brace myself or something. "So…This portal. How does it work?"

He smiles at me, and I wince because it's one of those oily smiles that reminds me that despite his being helpful in paving the way for our facility here in Rome, the Immortal is not really a nice guy. "The portal, bella, she is very simple. You walk through, you open the door and find your William. When you walk through the doorway, you arrive. Once you are through, the portal closes."

That sounds simple enough, but the smile says there's more to it. "And the catch is? There's gotta be more to it."

Marco shrugs. "Ah, signora, no catch. You will have to know your William when you find him, is all. Then you go to him."

There is definitely something he's not saying. Giles looks like he's swallowed a lemon again. "Okay, the portal it is, then! Giles will stay here until I get back, so I can leave now." Completely ignoring that I asked but Giles never agreed to cover for me, and that my go bag mostly has weapons and cash, and only one change of clothes.

"Really, Buffy, I think you should consider this more carefully." Giles clears his throat. "You have a lot to do here, a great deal of work with the girls…"

"You can help with that, Giles. You trained me. Maybe you can even get the watchers you sent to help to actually, you know, help." I roll my eyes, knowing the likelihood of the researchers getting off their butts to actually train the slayers, or break up arguments in the dorms, is basically nil. The only one who even tries is Anand, and he's a marshmallow.

Dawn emerges from my bedroom with my go bag, and a black duffle. I wince. Spike's bag from Sunnydale. I didn't realize she knew I'd kept it. "Here you are." She drops both bags at my feet. "Spike will probably want his stuff back."

"Yeah." I smile faintly. I don't really want to give him his things back, they've been comforting, and he's got new things now. Then again, keeping it would be really not cool of me. I sigh and pick up both bags. "Dawn, Giles is going to stay here until I get back, can you please change my sheets and help him check out of his hotel room? And make sure he has a copy of my schedule first thing tomorrow?" Dawn looks as shocked as Giles, but nods. "Okay, try to stay out of trouble. I'll call when I get there."

I turn back to Marco, nodding. "I'm ready to go. Portal me."

The Immortal chuckles softly, and opens the briefcase. He pulls out a glowing purple cube, and with a mutter of what I think is Latin, he waves it in the air in front of me. On the third pass, something happens. Almost like a thin slice of the cube falls off, and it's suddenly the size of a doorway. A wooden door with a faint purple glow around the edges.

Marco bows and gestures towards the door. "Be on your way, my dear." I brace myself and step forward, turning the doorknob. Giles huffs and mutters about me not listening. I'm in the process of turning to give him a piece of my mind when Marco steps between us. "I can't hold this door open forever, capiscimi? You must go now."

I nod and step through. I'll call Giles later and settle things with him. As the door starts to swing shut behind me, Marco chuckles. "Just make sure you only step through the doorway you want, bella. You wouldn't want to get lost." And the door slams shut behind me.

Well, shit, I may have just made a horrible mistake. For a second, standing there in the dim light, I'm scared to step forward, worried about what I'll walk into. I grab for the doorknob behind me, intending to go back and take a plane like a sane person, but the wall behind me is smooth. I turn to face the door I came through, and sure enough it's gone. A plain white wall is all that's there. That's probably not good. How am I supposed to go through a door, if there are no doors?

I turn back around and look at where I am. Which is surprisingly more difficult than you would think. There's no fog or mist, but I don't see anything. Which makes no sense, because I can tell the space (room?) I'm in now is smaller than my living room at home was. I take a step forward, and I must have blinked, because somehow, now I can see things. Specifically, that I'm at the start of a long hallway, with doors running up both sides. Sure, just walk through the door, he says. Easy. Which door? Maybe they're all locked, or they lead to hell dimensions or something. Why did I let the ambiguously-moral demon send me through a portal, again? What did he tell me? Don't step through the doorway unless you want to go into the place, when you're through the door closes and you're stuck there. And you can get lost. Sounds great.

I steel myself and take a step forward. Nothing implodes, hurts me, or seems likely to end the world at the moment, so I take another step. The closest door is a couple of steps further up on my right, and as I come even with it I take a deep breath and make a grab for the doorknob. Please, please let this be easy.

The door opens. The hallway is dimly lit, and faintly purple, but the room inside the door is almost pitch black. It smells…Weird. Like coal, somehow? I step into the doorway and try to lean into the room for a better view, but as soon as I lean I feel something I'd call magnetism, if I was, you know, made of metal. I pull back against the tugging sensation as hard as I can, and stand up straight, thankfully still in the hallway. Okay, so leaning is out, and something's going to try to pull me through if I get too close. Well, this is swell.

Where is this room, though? I try to focus in on details. It's a bedroom, with someone sleeping on the bed. There's a fire in a fireplace, and a calico cat sleeping on the carpet in front of it. That's basically it. I focus on the figure in the bed, for lack of anything else identifying, but all I can see is a bundle of blankets with a head of curly hair. Not helpful. I squint, trying to make out details. The person in the bed is breathing, maybe not very well? Like someone who has a cold, or asthma, or has been crying?

I get a hunch as I stare at the hair, remembering Spike in the high school basement. It could be Spike…William. Human William. Maybe? Is that what I have to do, to fix his transition from vampire to…Whatever he's going to be now? Just walk into a room, find human Spike, and wake him up. I shiver, a sleeping-beauty-flavored fantasy filling my mind, with me in the role of prince. Before I can make a decision about if I should try to walk through the doorway or not, the ball of blankets shifts and rolls over, and I come face to face with the sleeping figure on the bed.

Definitely William Spencer. He's younger than my William was when he was turned, he looks distinctly like he's been crying, and I'm startled to realize he's handcuffed to the bed frame. What the actual hell? Who would handcuff a 20-something victorian…Oh. I have a sneaking suspicion of what's going on here. Spike told me a bit about Emily's death and his banishment. About waiting to have his fate determined, and a trial he wasn't allowed to attend. He'd said that he was locked up after he killed the Council guys, only let out to hear his sentence. I shiver. This was a night just after his fiancé died.

Part of me wants desperately to run in there and cuddle him, and tell him that everything will work out fine in the end. Except, then I'll end up in 1870-something, and who the hell knows what the council will do to me? Also, this William doesn't know me.

So, this is the game, then? All the doors lead to Spike, but only one of them is the Spike I'm looking for, the one in the process of leaving vampirism behind, who needs my help? I nod. I can deal with that. I can find him.

With a last regretful glance at the poor William in the bed, I close the door, and step across the hallway to reach for another doorknob.