A/N: Did these two not remember anything from their pre-marital counseling sessions with Rev. Walker? Fitz better not come across any of you in a dark alley. Justbecauseican43, yup to everything you said. Alexindigo, you're right, there are two sides to every story. Didn't know about Cena the wrestler but makes sense because they both like wrestling. Reader575, don't throw your iPad, you have to continue reading this story. Jane-i-need- you, you're right, this Olitz is not like the couple in canon are (used to be). They have some work to do before they can earn that unique position. Hang in there. Guest, so funny you had to take a time out. Cleo, I also hate people digging in my food. Dee you had me rolling. Reneeharris49, Liv is going to need your help packing her bags. Thanks for all of the reviews, follows, and favorites. The reviews are my entertainment. Here we go!
Chapter 8. Losing It
While Fitz is taking a hot shower he eagerly anticipates spending a relaxing evening with his wife, something they have not done in a long time. He has been traveling more than either of them likes lately and they do not get to see each other as often as he would like. But his business is growing and he has to take advantage of the requests for his services while the demand lasts. As Olivia sits in a sea of papers, she is vaguely aware of the water beating against the shower walls and her husband's humming in the adjacent bathroom. For the past few days she has been feeling extremely jittery because the pressure is on to produce her biggest and potentially most impactful proposal of her career to date. She does not want to disappoint Marla or the people of Springfield Heights who will benefit from the program so all week she has been working unusually long hours at the office and at home trying to finalize the plan. She has two days to complete the proposal and deliver it to Marla and she is still struggling to organize her thoughts. While she knows what she wants to say the words just are not coming out as coherently as she would like. Fitz walks into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and drying his hair with another smaller towel. He looks over at the bed, which is covered with sheets of paper, and he sees Olivia who seems to be confounded by whatever she is reading.
"What are you doing?" He asks, staring at her as he swipes the towel across his head.
"I'm trying to write this proposal but the words just won't come", not looking up from the papers.
"This is our bedroom", looking somewhat annoyed but Olivia is barely aware that he is speaking. "Haven't I asked you not to do paperwork in our bed?"
"Fitz, you work in our bed all of the time", still not looking up from the papers in her hand, which irritates him all the more.
"No I don't. Besides, I work on my tablet, I don't have papers spread all over our bed."
"Fine, I'll go downstairs and work in the study", getting up and grabbing the papers.
"So does that mean we won't have any time together tonight? I hardly get to see you as it is."
"I just need to finish this draft Fitz."
"Give it to me", holding out his hand. "Let me take a look at it."
"Fitz, I don't want you doing my work for me."
"And neither do I but that's the only way I'm going to get some loving around here. So give it to me."
Olivia twists her lips slightly and hands him the barely draft proposal, and Fitz sits on the side of the bed and starts marking up the pages. Olivia sits on her knees behind him and leans against his back watching intently as he revises the document. Fifteen minutes later he has virtually rewritten the proposal.
"Done", handing the stack of papers back to his wife.
With brow furrowed Olivia slowly flips through the pages, carefully reading his scrawled notes.
"This is good Fitz - really good", she says, nodding repeatedly. "Of course I'll have to do some editing", and he rolls his eyes. "But this is really good. I'm impressed babe", looking up at her husband.
"Now it's time for you to impress me", snatching the papers from her hands and tossing them onto his nightstand.
He removes her eyeglasses and sets them on top of the papers and she smiles as he crawls on top of her, kissing her with intensity. He stretches her arms above her head and works his mouth down the side of her neck to her breasts.
"I've missed you so much", he says breathlessly. "Missed these so much", devouring her nipple with tongue and teeth.
She closes her eyes tightly in discomfort.
"Mmm. I love your breasts."
He works his way down to her stomach and tongues her navel as he caresses her folds and she moans, scraping her fingernails up and down his back. She runs her foot up his side and pushes the towel from around his waist, exposing his full arousal.
"You know I get crazy when I don't see you – when I can't be with you", he says breathlessly.
"Lay on your back", she says. I want to impress you.
She straddles him and begins to work her mouth down his neck and he enjoys the attention she is paying to his Adam's apple.
"I love you more than you will ever know, Livvie."
She inhales his fresh scent and trails her open mouth down his taut abs. She knows what he wants but he will have to wait. She licks and kisses his strong thighs and his sac grows heavy in her hand as she gently squeezes the two hard rocks. He spread his legs wide and runs his hands through her hair, moaning from the attention his wife is giving him. Enjoying the way she is making love to him. Enjoying the way she is making him feel. He loves when she makes him feel wanted. Sometimes her independence makes him question if she really wants or needs him, especially when she spends so much time away from home. Sometimes he wonders how he really fits into her life. The evidence of his pleasure oozes freely into her hand and she spread the liquid slowly around the head, intensifying his pleasure. She smiles as he moves his hips and she presses a hand on his stomach, stilling his movements.
"Livvie, Livvie, Livvie", he moans in breathless anticipation. "Kiss it, baby. I need your mouth."
She knows what he likes and how he likes it so she continues to squeeze and pump.
"It feels so fucking good. Just like baby. Please don't stop."
He is in the land of ecstasy, squirming with each magical stroke. Then she clamps her wet mouth around his hardness and his breath is taken away.
"Oh my god", he groans at the pleasurable pain.
He lifts onto his elbows, watching her head bob up and down, and his heart also swells at the sight of her pleasuring him. He runs his hand through her hair and closes his eyes tight.
"Baby, I need to be in you - cum in you", he gasps.
Olivia smiles at his contorted face as she crawls up the bed and lays on her back. And he pounces on her immediately, kissing and stroking her. She opens her legs wide and he slides in with ease. They both still their movements because the feeling of being flesh to flesh is always mind blowing. Then he begins to move, stroking long and slow initially because he knows his wife, he knows what she likes. Her slickness and tightness encourage him to dip deeper and deeper until she begins to vibrate.
"Kiss me", he says huskily, holding back on his pleasure until she finds her release.
And they kiss long and slow, getting lost in the pleasure, getting lost in each other. She wraps her legs around his waist and lifts her butt, needing him to go deeper, needing to feel all of him. And he goes deeper and pumps harder. And they ride each other with complete abandon because when they are connected like this it is as if the whole world has faded away.
They rock together until he hits the spot he discovered many years ago, the spot that he knows so well. And she screams, and surely Cena will hear her screams he thinks, but in this moment he cannot remember if they locked the door. Then she begins to laugh because she is tingling all over, from her head to her toes.
"You find something funny, Livvie?" He asks in a raspy voice as he slides his arms under her and pulls her close. He loves her in this position, loves looking into her eyes as her body responds to each thrust.
He gyrates his hips, pumping hard and long, and he feels great because she feels like heaven. He pumps harder and harder and that familiar feeling builds in intensity. And after a while he tenses, holding his breath as he squeezes her tightly, as he silently cries out in joy. They remain connected until the last of his juices flow into her and his hardness fades. Panting heavily, he rolls onto his back, pulling his wife close. He kisses her on the cheek as she snuggles into his side.
"That was -"
"Beautiful. Absolutely. Beautiful", he says with the biggest smile on his face.
XXX
"Liv, my flight isn't until 1:00 this afternoon so I'll be working from home for a few hours before leaving for the airport", Fitz says as he sits at the kitchen island finishing his breakfast.
"Okay babe, your bag is all packed and in the bedroom. After I drop off Cee at your parents I'll be heading over to the office."
Still feeling amorous from their multiple rounds of lovemaking last night, Olivia walks over to her husband who is focused on his tablet. She runs her tongue around the rim of his ear and kisses down the side of his neck.
"I'm going to miss you this week", she whispers in his ear.
Fitz pulls Olivia onto his lap and they kiss fervently, groping and grabbing each other in the middle of the kitchen.
"I have some time before I need to get ready to leave", he says breathlessly. "We can -"
"We can't babe", she says equally out of breath. "I have to get dressed - get Cee ready."
Olivia slides off his lap, gives him one more kiss, then goes upstairs to get ready for the day, and Fitz goes to the study to make a few calls before he has to leave for the airport. An hour later Olivia and Cena come downstairs fully dressed and ready to start their day. A sleepy Cena drags behind her mother carrying her monkey as they walk into the study.
"Come here Princess", walking over and picking up the sleepy little girl who is rubbing her eyes with her chubby fists. "Are you tired Cee?"
Cena pokes out her bottom lip and nods. Olivia folds her arms across her chest as she watches the two.
"Get some sleep in the car on the way to Grams, okay?"
Cena nods as Fitz kisses her forehead. He walks over to Olivia and gives her a deep good-bye kiss.
"We're going to miss you, babe", she says, looking genuinely sad.
"We'll talk tonight", caressing her face and looking into her sad eyes.
Olivia walks Cena to the car and buckles her into the booster seat. She slides into the driver's seat and sticks the key into the ignition and turns it. She closes her eyes when she hears the engine sputter. She pumps the gas pedal and turns the key again; she knows the routine. The engine sputters again. The third time is usually the charm she thinks as she turns the key once more. Nothing. She has drained the battery; it is dead. Olivia huffs and lay her head on the steering wheel, allowing herself a mini meltdown. After a few moments she turns around and tells a half-asleep Cena she will be right back.
Fitz is in the study on the phone with a client when he hears the alarm chime, alerting him that someone has entered the house. He frowns and furrows his brow wondering what is going on until he sees his wife hurrying into the room.
"Fitz ..."
He holds up a hand silencing her and she stops immediately when she realizes he is talking on the phone.
"Okay Don, we'll discuss it further when I arrive later this evening."
Fitz disconnects the call, tilts his head, and looks at Olivia curiously as he stands from his seat.
"I thought you left already. Is something wrong?"
She knows she is going to get another lecture about her needing a new car, but she likes her car and thinks it is a waste of money to buy a new car when hers is perfectly fine. Well it is fine most of the time.
"It's my car -"
"Dammit, Olivia. How many times have I told you to get rid of that thing and buy a new one? It's no longer reliable.
His face reddens because he has been through this with her more times than he cares to remember.
''Not today, Fitz. I need to get to the office for a meeting and I still have to drop off Cee."
He raises his eyebrows giving her a what-do-you-want-from-me look.
"I'm going to have to use your car today, Fitz - until I can have someone take a look at mine." She says hurriedly.
"What? I have to be at the airport in a few hours. You can't have my car and I don't have time to drop off you and Cena."
"Fitz, you can use Uber or Lyft to get a ride to the airport."
" Uber? I don't even know how to do that. "
"I'll do it for you, just let me have your car keys", she says digging into her purse for her phone.
"Where the hell is Cena?" He asks gruffly.
"In the car - in my car. I'll switch her to yours."
Now he is really mad. First his schedule is being disrupted because she refuses to let him buy her a more reliable car. Second she wants him to take Uber to the airport. And third his daughter is sitting in a broken down car and it does not matter that the car is in their driveway. He watches Olivia tap on her phone screen and wonders how many times his daughter has sat on the side of the road in that jalopy.
"Fitz, your car will only sit unused at the airport parking garage while you're away for the next three days. This is no big deal", extending her hand for his car keys.
"How the hell am I'm supposed to get home when I return from my trip?"
"I can pick you up or you can take Uber back home."
"I already told you I don't know how to use Uber ", he says angrily.
"Please Fitz, I need to get going. Can't we figure this out when we talk tonight?"
He grimaces as he stomps to the foyer and snatches his keys off the table. He removes his car key from the key ring and gives it to her.
"Don't lose this one", he growls. "I haven't had a chance to replace the last one you lost."
She wants to roll her eyes but she thinks better of it.
"Thank you, baby", giving him a quick peck on the lips before dashing out the door.
"I'll call Henry and have him pick up your car and figure out what the hell is wrong with it this time", he yells after her and slams the front door hard in frustration, setting off the alarm system.
"Dammit!" He yells as he hurries to disarm the blaring alarm. Then he runs upstairs to shower and get dressed an hour earlier than he planned because he has to wait for the Uber driver.
XXX
Later that evening the Springfield Heights community center is packed with people eager to hear the latest update on their water problem. Marcella calls the monthly meeting to order as the residents continue to file in after work.
"I said this meeting is now in order. All talking shall cease and everybody take a seat", Marcella demands.
There are a few rumblings of discontent and the eye rolls and twisted lips are directed at Marcella.
"Now!" she shouts, banging the gavel onto the shaky, metal table.
For the next half-hour Marcella gives the residents the same update she has given them for the past year. She makes the same promises about getting the water problem fixed and picketing City Hall. The attendees grumble because they have heard it all before. Some wonder why they even bother coming to these meetings. Olivia looks around the room at the frustrated faces and feels the need to give them something more than empty promises, so she raises her hand.
"Do you have a question Mrs. Grant?" Marcella asks kindly.
"Actually, I have some information I would like to share with you - with everyone", looking at Marcella for permission to continue.
"Continue Mrs. Grant", Marcella nods toward Olivia, twirling the gavel in her left hand.
As Olivia stands and sets her purse and coat onto her chair, everyone wonders when Marcella got the gavel. Olivia looks around the room at all of the eyes now focused on her and she clears her throat nervously. Although she has been attending these meetings for the past few months, since Mona told her it is the best way to understand the community's issues, she never speaks. She usually just listens to hear the progress report and the residents' grievances.
"Well, I've been attending these meetings for several months now and I sense there is some frustration because it appears that no one in city government is listening to your concerns."
"Hell no - nobody's listening. Nobody cares about us poor folk over here", someone yells from the back of the room.
"We're tired of nothing ever changing - nothing ever getting done", another man standing by the door yells.
"Order!" Marcella shouts and the room reluctantly grows silent. Marcella nods her head toward Mrs. Grant, giving her permission to continue.
"And, Marcella has done a fantastic job keeping this issue alive at the City Council meetings."
Marcella smiles at the compliment until she hears the next words that come from Mrs. Grant's mouth.
"But, I think perhaps there is more we can do." Olivia glances around the room before continuing. "I think rather than being adversarial we can establish a partnership with the public private sectors and devise a plan to address the water problem here in Springfield Heights.
The residents are intrigued by Olivia's idea and spur her along with 'amens'. When she is finished, everyone is clapping and energized, well everyone except Marcella, who is visibly upset. Marcella walks slowly from behind the metal table with her lips curled down, nodding her head lowly and repeatedly, as if she is contemplating what was just said. She looks over at Mrs. Grant, who is still standing.
"So you think you're just gonna come up in here and hijack all of the good work we've been doing for the past year? Is that what you think?" Marcella snaps.
Olivia is startled by the woman's outburst and eyes the gavel Marcella is twirling in her hand.
"No- not at all", Olivia stammers.
"You need to take your skinny, uppity ass back to the rich suburbs where you live with that husband of yours and leave us over here in Springfield Heights alone cause we don't need your damn help."
Marcella paces around the small area like a predator circling its prey. Sensing a showdown, the room grows quiet and everyone looks back and forth between the two women.
"I get so sick and tired of all you so-called goodie-two-shoes coming over here from your fancy homes, driving up in your fancy cars, trying to make a name for yourselves. Trying to make a name on the backs of the people of this community.
"I'm sorry - I didn't mean to offend -" Olivia stammers again.
"I didn't mean to offend", Marcella mocks Olivia as she walks closer. "We don't need or want you here with your fancy clothes and your fancy words. Go home to that little girl of yours and her father. I've been handling things over here just fine."
Marcella concludes her tirade, rests her folded arms across her buxom breasts, and glares at a stunned Olivia, whose mouth hangs open as she blinks rapidly. She is shocked and embarrassed by Marcella's unwarranted attack, but she is not going to take Marcella's crap when all she has been trying to do is help the people of this community get access to safe and clean water. She will not have it and she will not have Marcella ridiculing her family. When she thinks about how she has been busting her butt day and night to the extent of sacrificing spending time with her own family and causing friction between her and Fitz she gets angrier. She refuses to be demeaned in this way, especially since she has done nothing wrong. So she takes a few deep breaths to steady her nerves before responding to the smirking Marcella.
"If you don't need my damn help, Marcella – if you have been handling things so well over here, then tell me why the hell the people of this community are still drinking contaminated water. Tell me why you have not gotten any funds from government officials or business owners to fix the problem."
Olivia is mad so she takes a few steps toward Marcella and the room begins to rustle as the two women stare at each other with flaring nostrils.
"Tell me and everybody here why the hell their babies are still drinking and bathing in lead poisoned water every damn day if you are handling things so well. Is this how you handle business, Marcella?"
The room is quiet and the proverbial pin can be heard dropping. Everyone watches the stare down between Olivia and Marcella, waiting to see which woman is going to make the next move. Marcella grips the gavel tightly and her large breasts rise and fall in anger as she glares at Olivia. Embarrassed by her outburst, Olivia looks around the room in horror and begins to apologize to the residents, but is interrupted immediately by a thunderous round of applause.
"I'm glad somebody finally told that fat-ass Marcella about herself'", someone yells from across the room.
"That's right. Nothing has changed here since we elected her as president of our organization."
"Our water is still dirty and nasty", someone else yells.
Olivia grabs her coat and purse and runs from the packed community center to Fitz' black BMW in the parking lot. The last thing she wanted to do was to lose her temper in front of the people who need her help the most. Her body trembles as she slides into the driver's seat and she rests her forehead on the steering wheel and lets the tears flow. She feels like everything in her life is falling apart.
Olivia pulls into their driveway and sits in the car thinking about what happened at the community center. She is still unnerved by her confrontation with Marcella and does not understand why the woman would attack her when all she has been trying to do is help. She shakes her head and looks up at the white stucco, colonial style house where floodlights have been placed strategically around the perimeter, bathing the facade and the manicured bushes and lawn with a soft white glow. It really is a beautiful home she thinks, such a contrast to the homes in Springfield Heights.
XXX
After hanging up the phone from talking with her sister about what happened at last night's community meeting, Mona walks quickly down the hall to Olivia's office.
"Are you okay?"
"Thanks Mona but I don't need any tea right now."
"I mean are you okay from last night?" Mona says as she walks into the office.
"I'm fine."
"You don't have to put on a good face for me, Olivia. That Marcella can be such a hard ass at times."
"You're telling me", Olivia says sadly. "She attacked me for no reason, Mona. She said a lot of ugly things - hurtful things." A tear rolls down her cheek. "I'm sorry", wiping the tears from her face. "I don't know why I'm so emotional lately."
Mona sits in the chair next to the desk and places her hand on top of Olivia's hand.
"Now we both know one reason you're so emotional", Mona says, giving Olivia a knowing look.
"Everything seems to be falling apart, Mona", now letting the tears flow freely.
Mona squeezes her hand, encouraging her to continue.
"I feel like I'm being attacked from both ends. Marcella hates me because she thinks I overstepped, and maybe I did. I just wanted the residents to know there is so much more that can be done. And Fitz is perpetually annoyed with me. It's all becoming too much. I can't seem to do anything right lately."
"Stop that. From where I sit you do a whole lot right. And Marcella is just jealous and scared."
"What do you mean?'' Olivia asks through sniffles while wiping her eyes and nose with the wad of tissues.
"Olivia, you have been able to do more for the residents of Springfield Heights in the span of a few short months than Marcella has been able to do in a year. She thinks she's losing her power in the community to you."
"But I don't want -"
"It doesn't matter what you want. It only matters what Marcella believes."
Olivia thinks about what Mona said and nods.
"You know everybody over there is talking about how you put Marcella in her place."
"I have to apologize to her, Mona. My behavior was uncalled for."
"You won't apologize for a damn thing - you did nothing wrong. After you left the meeting the residents put Marcella in her place. They defended you and supported all of the work you have done on their behalf. They also lambasted her for the personal attacks. My sister said everyone wants Marcella to step down as the president."
Olivia looks stunned.
"Mona, the people of Springfield Heights need Marcella - they need an advocate. They need someone at those Council meetings to hold the local officials accountable."
"You and I both know that City Council doesn't pay Marcella any mind. She goes down there every week hollering and screaming with that bullhorn of hers and comes back with absolutely nothing. She has no influence - not like you Olivia."
"But she does have a lot of influence - she has the people. She just needs to learn how to organize them more effectively and not try to do everything by herself."
"That might be true Olivia but Marcella does not have a direct relationship with any city officials like you have. And as far as the business owners are concerned, the most she's been able to get from them is a damn turkey during the holidays."
Olivia listens intently to Mona.
"Olivia, you have written an innovative proposal to get the private and public sectors to come together to help those people."
"It's just a proposal, Mona. No one has committed to anything yet."
I have faith in you, Olivia. Once you meet with those business owners and convince them to donate the majority of the funding, I'm sure Council President Briggs will do the rest."
Olivia nods again, hoping Mona is right.
"Now about Fitz, you have to talk to him baby. Remember, marriage is about communication and compromise."
And they both laugh out loud, remembering the wrestling incident.
"I don't know, Mona. Fitz can be so rigid about certain things. I'm just tired of all the arguing. And with the new baby coming I'm feeling anxious all of the time."
Mona smiles at the confession and Olivia smiles sheepishly.
"Mona, it seems like I worry about everything lately. I worry about my marriage. I worry that I'm not spending enough time with Cena. I worry that I'm not doing enough to help the community. Some days I feel like I'm losing it - like I'm barely holding on."
"Does Fitz know that you're pregnant?"
"No", she says softly. "I haven't gone to the doctor yet to confirm, but I know", she says as her voice trails off.
"Well you have to take care of yourself Olivia - for your sake and the sake of your baby."
Olivia nods again and wipes another tear from her face.
"And Olivia, whatever you need me to do, I am here for you."
"Thank you, Mona. I appreciate that so much.
XXX
A few weeks after her confrontation with Marcella, Olivia hurries from her meeting with City Council members after discussing her proposal for a private-public partnership to replace the lead pipes in the homes in Springfield Heights. As she walks to the City Hall parking lot, Olivia calls her mother-in-law to let her know she is on her way to pick up Cena. She rolls her eyes when Maura said Fitz picked up Cena hours ago. Her stomach has become more unsettled over the past few days and her mother-in-law's announcement did not help matters. She knows Fitz is going to be upset when she gets home and the thought of another argument causes her to pull over and empty the contents of her stomach on the side of the road. She grabs the bottle of water from the cup holder near the armrest and swishes the water around in her mouth before spitting it out onto the street. She then makes her way home and steels herself for the impending battle with her husband.
As Olivia walks through the front door of their home she hears Fitz talking on the phone in the family room so she goes to the kitchen to get a bottle of seltzer water. When Fitz hears Olivia enter the house he quickly discontinues his call. As she sips the cool seltzer water she hears the familiar heavy footsteps walking across the hardwood floor that lead from the family room to the kitchen. Fitz stops at the entrance to the kitchen and looks at his watch for the half-dozen time this evening. When Olivia sees the expression on his face she knows he is upset; no, he is angry with her again. His lips curl down on his reddened face as he glares at her.
"Hi", she says nervously, biting the inside comer of her lower lip.
"Where the hell have you been?" He demands as the single vein running down the middle of his forehead throbs.
"I told you I had that meeting with the -"
"Are you committed to this family?" He snaps.
"What?" Stunned by his question, her eyes widen.
"You heard me", walking toward her with his hands resting on his hips.
"That's not fair, Fitz", she retorts nervously.
"Then answer the damn question, Olivia."
He is mad because he is tired of his wife never being home these days. He is tired of her not having meals with him and Cena. He is tired of her putting her work before their family. He takes another step toward her and she takes a step back and her hand feels the coolness of the copper farmhouse sink. Ironically, in that moment, she remembers fondly the day they were at the plumbing showroom and selected the sink. She remembers how he joked that he was not a farmer and, therefore, they did not need a farmhouse sink. And she grows a little sad because that time in their marriage when they were so ridiculously happy seems so long ago.
"Of course I am", she says meekly.
"Well it sure doesn't feel like it. You drop off Cena at my parents all day, then you forget to pick her up so they call me. I had to leave my client in the middle of a dinner meeting to pick her up while you're off doing god knows what."
"My meeting with the City Council for the new grant ran over", weakly trying to defend her absence.
"There was no milk in this house for Cena to drink when we got home. She wanted milk so we had to go back out to the store to buy milk. He knows he could have given Cena juice or water to drink for the night, but he is angry and wants to be difficult.
"I'm sorry", trying to fight back the tears. "Where is Cee?"
"Where do you think?" He asks bitterly. "It's after 9:00, Olivia. She's in bed."
Still in his battle stance he stands inches from her and stares at her for a few moments.
"From now on I want you home at a decent hour", he says through clenched teeth. "You coming home all hours of the night and leaving before Cena and I get up in the mornings is over -starting now", he says with finality.
"What?"
"Don't push me on this, Olivia." He glares, daring her to challenge him.
"I'm not one of your soldiers Fitz, I am your wife and I don't take direct orders from you. I don't do things just because you say so. I won't be bossed around by you or anyone else. "
"Then you need to think about if this marriage is what you want - if you're really ready for a family. You need to reevaluate your commitment to this family.
She looks at him in shock because she cannot believe he is giving her an ultimatum.
"I'm going to bed", he says angrily before turning and walking out of the kitchen.
Olivia grips the edge of the sink trying to still her shaking hands. When she is sure Fitz is upstairs she brings a hand to her mouth to suppress her crying and roiling stomach. She lurches toward the sink and pukes the contents of her stomach into the copper vessel.
"Shit", she exhales as she turns on the faucet and cups a handful of cool water to rinse her mouth.
Olivia walks to the family room and sits on the sofa and cries silently. It seems like all she does these days is cry.
XXX
The next morning Olivia wakes up before her husband and daughter to prepare them a real breakfast for the first time in weeks. She slides out of bed, being extra careful not waken her sleeping husband, and makes her way downstairs to the kitchen. She spends the next hour planning Fitz and Cena's favorite breakfast foods. For him: eggs scrambled soft, sausage, home-fried potatoes, and multigrain toast. She brews his new favorite coffee and squeezes oranges for his juice. For her daughter she makes a short stack of pancakes. She pulls the plastic container with the purple lid from the refrigerator and sets it on top of the island. Cena loves using cut-up fruit to make happy faces on her pancakes.
After Olivia has prepared everything for their feast, she goes upstairs to wake Cena. As she walks into the room she stops in the doorway when she sees Cena's wild curls spread all over the pillow. She sighs heavily because after everything that happened last night she did not think about twisting Cena's hair. Olivia sits on the side of the little girl's bed and softly encourages her to wake up, but Cena groans and turns away from her mother.
"Cee, you have to the count of three to get up or the Tickle Monster will come out and get you", Olivia says playfully.
"I'm tired, mommy." Cena whines as she pulls the Dora the Explorer comforter over her head.
"One."
Cena places her hands over her ears.
"Two. The Tickle Monster is coming out, Cee."
"I'm too tired for the Tickle Monster, mommy."
"And three." The Tickle Monster appears magically and Cena starts to laugh and scream as her mommy's fingers massage her sides and stomach.
"Okay, mommy. I'll get up. No more tickles."
"OK, no more tickles. But you have 15 minutes to brush your teeth and wash your face before breakfast. Or I'll be back", she says in the worst Arnold Schwarzenegger voice.
XXX
Olivia drops the bread into the toaster and quickly scrambles Fitz' eggs when she hears he and Cena chattering as they walk into the kitchen. Fitz sets Cena on her stool and she immediately plops her forehead onto the granite island top. Olivia sets Fitz' plate in front of him and sets Cena's plate in front of her head.
"Good morning", leaning in for their morning kiss but he turns his head toward his daughter.
"I'll feed Cena", he says tersely, swinging his stool around to face his daughter who is half asleep.
"Your breakfast is going to get cold."
"I'll be fine. Open wide Cee", feeding the little girl a forkful of pancakes.
"You know she is four. She can feed herself."
"She needs to know that she is loved."
Olivia looks at him dumbfounded. Her husband is being mean to her and she does not know what to do to make things better.
"I will be home by 5:00 tonight so I'll pick up Cee from your parents", she says, leaning against the sink sipping on a glass of seltzer water.
"I have a meeting in DC today. I won't be home tonight so don't forget to pick up Cena again", he says without looking at her.
Olivia watches Fitz feed their daughter for a few moments before going upstairs to their bathroom to vomit again. After emptying her stomach in the toilet she slides onto the cool tile floor and begins to cry when she reflects on their many shopping trips to the flooring showroom to select the appropriate flooring for their master bathroom. She chuckles lightly when she recalls how Fitz insisted on carpet because he does not like walking on a cold floor. Thankfully the sales associate was able to help him to understand how impractical carpet is in a bathroom, and he showed Fitz a floor heating system that would keep his toes warm at all times. Olivia remembers how Fitz' eyes lit up at the prospect of having warm tootsies all year round.
"Liv", Fitz stands at the bottom of the staircase calling to his wife.
Olivia wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, splashes water on her face, and rinses her mouth before hurrying to find out what her irritated husband now wants.
"Olivia!"
"I'm coming, Fitz", she calls out as she hurries from the bathroom and down the stairs.
"I'm leaving now", his voice still laced with anger. "Cena is finished her breakfast and she's going to need a bath", glaring at her.
"I know she's going to need a bath, Fitz", Olivia says tiredly.
"I will call you this evening", turning and walking over to Cena and kissing the top of her head of curls that once again is laying on the island top.
"Bye-bye, Princess. Daddy will see you tomorrow. I'm going to miss you so much tonight."
"Bye, daddy", she says tiredly.
Fitz grabs his coat and brief case and walks from the house without acknowledging Olivia who is standing in the middle of the foyer watching her husband storm out of the door. When the door closes Olivia breaks down and cries. She is hurt because Fitz is being unkind and she is scared that she is pregnant again.
"Mommy, mommy", Cena says, running to the foyer and wrapping her arms around Olivia's legs. "Don't cry, mommy. Don't cry."
Olivia wipes the tears from her face and collects her feelings. She looks down at her beautiful daughter and fixes a fake smile on her face.
"Mommy is fine, Cee." She scoops up the little girl and carries her to the kitchen and sets her on top of the island.
"Are you sad again, mommy?" Cena asks, looking at her mother with concern.
Olivia looks into her daughter's worried eyes, the eyes she inherited from her father, and smiles brightly again.
"No, baby girl - mommy isn't sad. Something just got into my eyes. Don't you worry about mommy. Okay? Mommy is fine."
Olivia tickles Cena and covers her face with kisses until the little girl is laughing hysterically. Once Olivia is sure Cena has bought her story, she cleans the kitchen then bathes and dresses Cena, who has fallen asleep again. While Cena is sleeping Olivia takes a quick shower then gets dressed for work.
XXX
A few hours later Olivia is carrying a sleeping Cena up the steps of her in-laws' home. She dreads having to deal with Maura and Gerry this morning because she is still shaken by the way Fitz is treating and she feels like she is going to vomit again. She is not in the mood for their sarcastic comments today.
"Olivia, good morning", Maura gushes when she opens the door. "And how is my beautiful granddaughter doing on this early morning?" Reaching for Cena. "It's such a shame she has to get up so early."
Olivia wants to scream because every day she has to hear snide remarks about how she is failing as a wife and a mother because she chooses to have a career.
"Good morning, Maura."
"Come in, Olivia. Would you like to have breakfast? Has Cena eaten anything yet?"
"Yes Maura, Cee has had her breakfast and I must get to the office. I'm already late for my meeting."
"I see. Will Fitzgerald be picking up Cena today?" Maura asks with a slight smirk on her face.
"I will pick up Cee. Fitz is out of town on business today."
"I see. Well have a good meeting, Olivia. We will see you later", Maura says looking down at her granddaughter who is sleeping on her shoulder.
Have a good day, Maura. Bye Cee, mommy will see you later. Mommy loves you." Olivia kisses her sleeping daughter on the cheek then turns and walks away.
"And Olivia", Maura calls after her. "Don't be late today. Gerry and I have plans this evening." Olivia feels like screaming as she walks to her car.
XXX
Olivia is enjoying her night alone with her daughter and away from Fitz as she watches Cena splash happily in the bubble bath. She shakes her head when she thinks about the children in Springfield Heights and how they might be getting exposed to lead while they are getting their nighttime bath.
"Cee, mommy loves you so, so much - more than anything in this whole wide world. Don't you ever forget it. Okay?"
Oblivious to her mother's dilemma, Cena smiles and continues to splash her toys in the bubbly water. After bath time is over, Olivia sits in bed with Cena and reads her daughter's favorite bedtime story. Five minutes into the story Cena is sleeping and snoring lightly. So Olivia pulls the covers over her daughter, kisses her on each cheek, and on the nose before turning off the lights and grabbing the monitor.
As she sits in bed with the proposal on her lap and sipping the hot ginger tea, Olivia smiles thinking Marla is a perceptive woman. She reads through the proposal again and is proud of the final plan. She thinks about the many families that will be helped and how lives will be changed forever if they get the needed funding. She looks over at her vibrating phone on the nightstand and closes her eyes tightly before answering.
"Hello", she says flatly. She really does not feel like fighting with him tonight.
"Hi", waiting for their response. And after a while she responds.
"Hi", rolling her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I was rude to you before I left this morning."
She rolls her eyes because she is still hurt by the way he treated her earlier.
"OK." She says, sighing tiredly.
"We need to talk, Liv."
"OK."
"We need to talk about us - our family. We need to discuss how, moving forward, we're going to balance our work and family obligations."
"OK."
"I don't want to do this over the phone, so let's talk about when I get tomorrow. I'll call my parents to let them know that Cee needs to spend the night."
"OK", she says, rolling her eyes again.
"OK then. I will see you tomorrow - around six. Good night, Olivia."
"Good night."
Olivia finishes her tea hoping she can get home from work tomorrow before 6:00.
XXX
Olivia leaves work early the next day and rushes home to prepare dinner because she knows Fitz will want a home-cooked meal since his last few meals have been in DC restaurants, which he hates. While the food warms in the oven she takes a hot shower, adjusting the jets to relax her tired muscles. After her shower Olivia stands in front of the full-length mirror and assesses her body. She sighs in relief when she does not see any physical changes yet. She knows she needs to make an appointment with her doctor, and soon.
As she walks from the bedroom dressed in a black, two-piece silk loungewear, she hears Fitz' key turning in the front door's lock. She inhales deeply, walks downstairs, and braces herself for whatever is to come.
"Hi", he says, setting his overnight bag by the door.
"Welcome back", she says flatly.
He walks over and cups her face and brushes his lips lightly across her lips. He is trying to break the huge iceberg that is floating between them.
"Dinner is almost ready. Do you want to shower first?"
"Yeah, I'll take a quick one and will be right down."
Olivia nods and walks into the kitchen to prepare their plates. Over dinner he tells her about his trip and his newest client and how well the business is performing. He tells her again that he is sorry for being an ass yesterday. He tells her that he loves her very much and only wants the best for her and Cena.
"And what is the best, Fitz?"
He rubs his forehead because this is not going the way he planned.
"I was thinking, and you are right, Liv. Cee doesn't need to be with my parents. They're getting older and Cee can be a handful at times."
"So are you agreeing to enroll Cee into pre-school?"
"You know how I feel about that."
Olivia starts removing the dishes from the dining room table and taking them into the kitchen.
"Then nothing has changed", she says, slamming the dishes into the sink.
"What's changed ..."He says, getting up from the table and following her into the kitchen. "What's changed is that my parents won't be watching Cee any longer - only for emergencies."
"So again you have figured out everything."
"Liv -"
"If your parents don't watch Cee and you won't allow her to go to pre-school, then are you going to stay home and watch her?" She is beginning to get upset.
"What?" He asks with incredulity.
"Are you going to stay home and watch our daughter because I have a business to run, Fitz?"
"We don't need two incomes, Liv. I make more than -"
"It's not about the money, Fitz. I built my foundation from nothing. I love what I do. I love helping the community."
"So you'd rather put the community before our family?"
"That's not fair. My work helps people."
"It's a goddamn hobby - volunteer work at best", he yells. "You get paid to do real work. You barely make enough at that damn place to buy Cena's hair products."
Her eyes grow wide but she will not cry. She's tired of crying.
And he knows it was a low blow and he hates the look of hurt on her face. He crossed the line and he knew it as soon as the words left his mouth. He looks at her remorsefully, wishing he could pull back his words that linger heavily in the air.
"Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't -"
"Have. I. Ever. Asked. You. For. Anything?"
"Liv -"
"Have I?" She screams with her fists balled tightly. And he jumps, startled by the anger in venom in her voice.
"No", he says solemnly.
"I had that business long before I even knew you existed and I never missed a meal. I have always paid my way in this world. And for you to ..." ·
And the tears begin to fall. He steps toward her but she backs away.
"No", she says, holding up a hand to stop his advancement toward her. "I can't live like this anymore, Fitz - I won't. I can't have you dictating to me and demeaning my choices. I might not make the kind of money you make but I love what I do."
"I'm sorry, Liv. I didn't mean to – "
"That's just it Fitz, you do it all the time. It's like I don't have a voice around here. And isn't that ironic because I fight so hard to give others a voice and I don't have a voice in my own home." She glares at him. "You decide everything."
"Liv -"
"Helping people who are in need is who I am. And you knew what I cared about before we were married. And you used to do it too before you sold out, Fitz."
"What?"
"When you were in the Navy you fought against the big corporations on behalf of the enlisted men and women. Now you've joined the other side. You've aligned yourself with the money people to help them to deny the consumer and employees the opportunity to voice their grievances."
"Is that what you think of me – of what I do?" He stares at her with a look of surprise. "I started my business to fulfill a need in the marketplace. And all businesses are in business to make money. Unlike you I didn't take a vow of poverty. So don't judge me for what I do and I won't judge you." He snaps.
"You judge what I do all the time, Fitz."
"I didn't think you would care more about your work than you would care about your family."
"I don't."
"You do. You're never home any more. We hardly spend any time together as a family. We haven't been on a vacation in forever. You seem to be trying to prove to everyone that we are not successful. You drive that old car putting our daughter's safety at risk every day because you are afraid of what people might think if you drove a new car. You're a hypocrite, Liv. I know what I am and I don't pretend to be anything else. But unlike you I don't feel guilty about my success. I love what I do and make lots of money doing it, and that's not a bad thing."
She looks at him in disbelief.
"You have guilt about not being poor, Liv. About not living in a place like Springfield Heights. About not having to drink contaminated water. Would you feel better if Cena lived in that community and drank and bathed in poisoned water? Would that make you happy? Because nothing I do seems to make you happy anymore."
"Why would you say that?" She asks sadly.
She is shocked by his revelation because she had no idea how he felt. And they stare at each other with hurt and disappointment in their eyes.
"Because it's true. You seem to want to be anywhere but here – in this house with us."
"That's not true", she fights back.
"Well that's the way it feels", he says solemnly.
"You're never home either, Fitz. You travel all the time."
"I'm trying to build a future for my family – for us. Can you say the same thing? Are you trying to build a future for our family or are you trying to build a community?"
Taken aback by the question, she looks at him dumbfounded.
"You need to figure out if you care about the community more than you care about your family."
Fitz walks away leaving Olivia standing in the middle of the kitchen with her mouth hanging open. After a few minutes of pondering his indictment, she turns off the lights, walks through the family room, and down the hall to one of the guest bedrooms.
XXX
Their argument last night was raw and brutal, resulting in Fitz having a sleepless night. While he regrets some of the things he said, other things said were long overdue. He looks over at Olivia's empty side of the bed and sighs because she slept in one of the guest rooms. This is the first time in their six-year marriage they have not slept together when he is home. He rolls out of bed and quickly showers and shaves because he needs to pack for his three-day business trip.
After haphazardly throwing everything into the suitcase, he goes downstairs to the kitchen looking for Olivia. When he does not see her in the kitchen he walks to the guest room on the first floor and knocks on the door twice, but she does not answer.
"Liv – sweetheart - I'm leaving now."
Silence.
"Remember, I'll be gone for the next three days. Don't forget Cee is at my parents."
He closes his eyes and rakes his fingers through his hair. He knows he really messed up this time and he has to figure out how to fix it.
"I'm sorry, Livvie. I'll call you later. Shit", he says through clenched teeth as he walks down the hall.