A/N: Michelle, thanks for sending the book title. I also need bi-weekly maid service. LUH, I've gotten your reviews. Don't know why, but for some reason some reviews aren't posting. You made a lot of good points. BTW, you're on track about Fitz' mother. Check her out in about three chapters. Kzvalentina, not even for saving babies in China? LOL. Fifty4Scandal, Olivia didn't think about the depression after she delivered Cena. maria, you have gotten a smidgen of Fitz' PoV, hence the no love comment. More to come. ScandalAddiction, my writing is just a hobby. Clanay, Olitz is always my endgame but I like taking them through stuff first. And, Cena was playing with the neighbor's grandchildren. Remember, Cena spends a lot of time at her granddparents' home. Bujuman, Liv does need a new car. Haha. Love the reviews. Here we go!
Chapter 10. Out of the Mouths of Babes
Month 1
Anxious to get home to his family, Fitz navigates his sleek, black BMW convertible sedan down the tree-lined street of huge Colonial- and Greek Revival-style homes, thinking about how to make things right with his wife. As he turns the corner to their house on Northview Drive he makes a mental note to call their travel agent in the morning to book them a flight to anywhere Olivia wants to go.
As he pulls into the driveway he is greeted immediately by the house stucco façade and the professionally manicured lawn illuminated with a soft, white glow. He smiles as he remembers the day he fell in love with the house, which was a month or so after Dr. Perry confirmed they were expecting their first child. He and Olivia toured a dozen or more houses before Joan finally struck gold. And in his mind the house was gold – perfect. The location. The size. The floor plan. It was everything he had ever wanted for his family. For him it was more than a physical structure, it was where he saw their future unfolding. It was where he saw them starting new traditions and making lasting memories. It was where he saw them raising a family and growing old together. He knew Olivia did not see the dream at the time, but he was confident she would come around and love the house as much as he did.
As he exits the car he notices the well-lit exterior is in stark contrast to the interior of the house, which is unusual for this time of the evening. He looks at his watch and thinks Cena should be getting her bath about now. He frowns slightly, hoping there is not a problem with the electricity inside of the house.
When he enters the house he punches the code on the keypad to disarm the beeping alarm system. He thinks it is odd the alarm is set because Olivia never sets it although he has asked her repeatedly to do so, especially when he is out of town. Maybe she has finally decided to listen to him he thinks as he flicks the light switch. The two-story foyer seems to come alive instantly, but not really. He sets his briefcase and luggage on the tile floor next to the table and walks down the hall toward the family room. He flicks on the lights and scrunches his face as he looks around the empty space. He thinks it is strange that none of Cena's toys are scattered around the room.
He walks into the kitchen, turns on the lights, and smiles when he pulls open the refrigerator door because he sees that Olivia has gone grocery shopping. The shelves are stocked with many of his favorites, including his beer. He nods and closes the refrigerator door, thinking maybe she is not too angry with him after all. He makes his way upstairs, which is just as dark as the first floor was when he entered the house. He flicks the light switch on their bedroom wall and the room is immediately illuminated by the recessed lights installed in the tray ceiling. With hands on his hips he furrows his brow as he looks around the room wondering where his wife and daughter are at this hour of the night. Then, from the corner of his eye, he sees an envelope that has been placed neatly atop the crisp, gray case covering his king-size pillow. He cocks his head to the side and frowns when he sees Olivia's unmistakable handwriting on the front of the envelope.
With each step toward the bed he tries to figure out what could possibly be in the envelope. He thinks it is odd that Olivia would write him a letter rather than send a text or call, which is their standard form of communication these days. In the few steps it takes to walk over to the bed, he reflects on all of handwritten letters she has sent him over the years. She always says when someone takes the time to craft a handwritten letter it conveys to the recipient the importance of the message and how much they are valued. As he lifts the envelope from his pillow, he wonders if many people still hand write letters these days. He pulls out the neatly folded matching stationery and tosses the envelope onto the bed and begins to read the message. But his brain seems unable to process what his eyes are seeing, and he blinks repeatedly, trying to decipher the words that appear disjointed and jumbled. Words like time to think, need space, fighting and arguing, Cena, food, clothes make no sense until he reads, 'I am leaving and please do not look for me. I will contact you when I am ready.'
"What?" He says half to himself.
He cannot believe what he is reading. Surely this is a mistake, a joke his wife is playing on him, some sort of game. His breathing is shallow and his face is set hard as he sits slowly onto the bed and reads the letter over and over.
She has left?
Unable to comprehend what is happening he sits in a daze for a long while, raking his hand through his hair repeatedly. Trying to wrap his mind around what he has read, he leans forward with elbows on his knees and stares blankly at the the paper. None of it makes any sense. He knows they had a serious fight, but leaving without talking to him is extreme. Suddenly he drops the sheet of paper to the floor and runs into the huge walk-in closet. Like a wild animal circling its prey, he paces around the room checking if she has taken her clothes. He snatches the hangers across the metal pole that hold her blouses, pants, and dresses, trying to discern if anything is missing.
He runs back into the bedroom and yanks open her lingerie dresser drawers checking if she has taken her personal items. And again, nothing appears to be out of place or missing. In the second drawer he sees the red lingerie he sent her last year while in flight from Tucson. He caresses the lace material for a moment then slams shut the drawer with such force items on top of the dresser topple over and crash to the floor. He rushes into their master bathroom to check if she has taken her toiletries, but she has not. All of her products are still lined perfectly on the limestone countertop.
She appears to be here but she is not here. He closes his eyes tight, bends forward, and grips the edge of the sink with such intensity his knuckles turn white. He cannot breathe. Grasping at straws he thinks perhaps he has misinterpreted the letter since none of her belongings seem to be missing. Perhaps Olivia is playing a cruel joke on him. But when he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror his appearance tells him this is no joke. His eyes are wild, his hair is a tousled mess, and a sheen of sweat covers his face as the lone vein running down the middle of his forehead throbs. His heart pounds like a jackhammer and his mind is on overdrive as thoughts of what to do next flood his brain.
Adrenaline courses through his veins as he rushes back downstairs and snatches open the door that leads to the garage. He stares at the old car for a long time and nods repeatedly before slamming the door shut. He thinks she either called Uber or someone else drove her to wherever she went.
As the reality of what has happened sinks in, an eerie calm washes over his body and he shifts from being shocked and disoriented to focused and deliberate. He begins to search the house more carefully, walking through the first floor and inspecting each room. First he goes to the study and glances around the room and sees that everything is in its place. Then he walks back to the family room and assesses the space more closely. He nods when he notices how fresh everything appears. While Olivia normally maintains an orderly home, the space appears unusually clean.
He walks back into the kitchen and notices, like in the family room, everything seems to sparkle just a little brighter than usual. He swings open the refrigerator door and nods as he stares at the jam-packed shelves. Then he slams the door shut, causing the contents to rattle and spill over onto the shelves.
He leans against the copper farmhouse sink and runs his hands through his hair in frustration. He glances around the massive kitchen and catches a glimpse of the bag of his favorite coffee, which is placed next to the coffee maker. Then he sees the new container of protein powder, which is placed next to the blender. And his eyes darken because it finally dawns on him that she planned it all. He realizes this was not a spur-of-the-moment decision, but a well-thought out plan.
His sweat-drenched dress shirt clings to his back as he runs up the long staircase taking two steps at a time. He walks into their bedroom and notices, like the rooms downstairs, the room is exceptionally clean. He walks into the closet and examines the space more closely, looking for clues – a hint. He sees that she picked up his suits from the dry cleaners and hung them in the usual place and set his laundered dress shirts neatly on his shelves. He nods a few times as he walks out of the room and back into the bathroom. The corners of his mouth curl down when he sees a new supply of toiletries placed on his side of the counter.
She planned everything.
With a deliberate pace he walks down the hall to Cena's bedroom and turns on the light. Standing in the doorway he scans the room quickly and sees it is as neat and orderly as the rest of the house. He walks over to Cena's shelves and looks at all of the toys and books, which have been placed with care on the shelves. He cups the back of his head and looks up at the ceiling. The gravity of what has happened hits him hard and he sits onto Cena's bed, which is covered with her favorite pink, green, and yellow butterflies bedding ensemble. He buries his face into her pillow and cries as he inhales the scent of his wife's perfume.
After his mini breakdown in his daughter's room, he walks slowly back down the hall to their bedroom where he sees the letter peeking from under the bed. He snatches up the paper and reads the letter over and over. He shakes his head in disbelief because he cannot understand why Olivia would do this – would leave without first talking things over with him. He reaches for his phone and each call goes directly to her voice mail and his texts go unanswered.
"Dammit Olivia", he yells.
XXX
When Fitz awakened the next morning he is laying on Olivia's side of the bed dressed in the same clothes he wore home last night. He reaches immediately for his phone and calls and texts his wife, and once again she does not respond. Then he calls his friend Chuck in DC. After talking to Chuck, he reads the letter again trying to read between the lines for clues to where she might have gone. After the third reading, he stuffs the letter into envelope, and pushes it in the back of his nightstand drawer. Finally he gets up, showers, and dresses quickly and heads over to The Pope Foundation hoping Mona has some information about Olivia's whereabouts.
"Good morning Mona", Fitz says as he stands in the doorway of her small office.
"Fitz, you startled me", grabbing her chest. "I wasn't expecting anyone today so I thought I would use this time to catch up on some paperwork", she says quickly.
"I'm sorry, Mona. I didn't mean to frighten you. I just stopped by to …" To what? What does he say to his wife's employee? Does he say Olivia has left him and he does not know where she is? Does he say he is out of his mind with worry?
"Is there something wrong, Fitz?" Mona asks, looking at the disheveled man who is obviously troubled by something.
"Mona, would you happen to know where Olivia is?" He asks desperaely.
"Fitz, is something wrong with Olivia?" Mona asks, standing from her seat.
"No – honestly I don't know. When I got home last night I found a letter saying she is fine but needed to go away for a while. She said not to look for her." He rakes his hand through his hair.
"Can you tell me the last time you saw her? If she was upset about anything?"
"Fitz, Olivia stopped by here yesterday but she didn't stay very long. She said she would be going away for awhile and asked me to handle things at the office until she returned. She didn't give me any details."
"Was she alone? Was anyone with her?"
"Yes, she was alone."
"Did she say how long she would be gone?"
"I'm afraid not", Mona says apologetically.
Fitz runs his hand through his hair again in frustration.
"Did she appear to be upset or act strangely?"
"Well …"
"Anything you can think of Mona."
"Well, she was quieter than usual and she seemed a little sad."
"Anything else, Mona? Can you think of anything that might have caused her to leave?" He asks desperately.
"Well, she had a run-in with a community leader in Springfield Heights a week or so ago but everyone thought she handled the situation well."
"Thank you, Mona. I'm going to look around her office to see if I can find any clues to where she might have gone."
"Of course", Mona says walking toward Fitz. "Do you want me to help you?"
"No, but thank you. I'll let you know if I find anything. And if you think of anything else that might be of help or if you hear from Olivia, please call me right away", handing her a business card.
"Of course. Of course."
Fitz walks down the hall to Olivia's office and looks around the small space. The office is immaculate, of course. Nothing is out of place. Olivia always likes to keep things in order and would scold him at home when he did not return an item to its proper place. She always said, 'A place for everything and everything in its place.' He smiles sadly at the memory.
He shakes his head as he stands in the middle of the room because he cannot recall the last time he was in her office. He remembers he used to come here frequently when they were dating and early in their marriage to bring her lunch or to pick her up for a date. He walks over to the desk and sits in the small chair and smiles when he sees a picture of them on their wedding day. He then reaches for the picture of him, Olivia, and Cee taken at the park and wonders what the hell is going on, wondering where his wife is and praying she is safe.
He sets the picture frame back onto the desk then pulls open the drawers and finds nothing but loose change, a few rubber bands, and paper clips. After about 15 minutes of searching the small office, he leans back in the chair and frowns as he stares at the pictures of his once happy family.
XXX
When Fitz left Olivia's office he drove to his parents' home to get Cena. As he rings the doorbell he is dreading having to explain to his parents that he and Olivia are having problems in their marriage – that she has left him.
"You look like crap, Fitzgerald", his father says when he opens the door. "Come in and sit down."
Fitz walks into the family room where he sees his mother holding his sleeping daughter on her lap.
"What's the matter, Fitzgerald? You look terrible."
"How is Cee, mom?" He asks as he sits onto the sofa.
"Cena is fine, dear. She just fell asleep. What's wrong, Fitzgerald?"
Fitz palms his face and sighs.
"Olivia is missing – well she has left."
"Left? What do you mean left?" Gerry booms.
"I found a letter last night when I got home saying she needed to go away for a while."
"Go away? Why? For how long?" Gerry demands.
"I don't know, dad", he says tiredly. "The letter just said she was fine and don't try to find her."
"What the hell does that mean?" Gerry demands.
"Gerry! Cena is in the room", Maura reprimands her husband for his language. "So that's why she didn't pick up Cena last night", Maura says half to herself. "Fitzgerald", his mother begins softly. "Are you and Olivia having problems?"
"Nothing serious, mom - at least that's what I thought."
"What the hell do you mean that's what you thought?"
"Dad, we had a big argument a few nights ago. I thought we could work it out – work through it."
"Do you have any idea where she might have gone?" Maura asks as she rocks her sleeping granddaughter.
"No mom, I don't. This is all a shock to me." Running his hand through his hair.
"Do you think she left with someone?" Gerry asks as he paces around the room.
"What?" Not quite understanding his father's question.
"Do you think she is having an affair, Fitzgerald? Do you think she left with another man?"
"No!" Fitz shouts, and Cena flinches in her sleep. "Olivia would never do anything like that. She's not like that. She wouldn't leave Cee for anyone."
"Well she apparently has", his mother says.
"There has to be more to it. I must be missing something."
"We should call the police", Gerry suggests.
"No, Olivia left on her own accord. Besides, she hasn't been gone for 48 hours yet."
"The hell with that. I'll just call Rick down at the station. I'll get him on it right away."
"No, dad. Let me handle this."
"I always knew she wasn't the right woman for you."
"Dad, please. It's been six years, and this is not the time", he says, standing from the sofa. "I need to get Cena home."
"Let her stay here Fitzgerald - until you can sort things out."
"Thanks mom but my daughter needs to come home with me. Olivia wants her to be home with me."
Gerry rolls his eyes thinking his son is a damn fool.
"So you're going to take orders from your missing wife?"
When Fitz put Cena to bed that night he checked their credit cards and financial accounts, trying to find a paper trail. Then he contacted Chuck again, his friend in DC. He knows it has not been long since Olivia left but he needs to know if Chuck has found out anything.
"Fitz, we are using all of our resources to find your wife. It's like she has disappeared into thin air, which means she doesn't want to be found. I've seen cases like this before. And I can tell you that if a person doesn't want to be found then they will take all measures to keep their whereabouts unknown. I'm sorry."
"Keep looking, Chuck."
XXX
Eight days have passed and Fitz has not heard anything from Olivia and she will not respond to his phone calls and text messages. Cena asks about her mommy every day and each time Fitz concocts a story to explain Olivia's whereabouts that only a four year old would believe. He still cannot believe she has left him – has left them. He wonders if she was forced to write the letter. He wonders if she has gotten into trouble trying to help the people of Springfield Heights. Mona did say she had a run-in with a community leader. He wonders a lot of things as he sits in bed reading the letter again. This has become his nightly ritual after Cena is asleep. On some level he knows he is in denial and trying to rationalize her leaving.
The supply of food Olivia bought is running out and he needs to find time to go to the grocery store. He shakes his head because he does not remember the last time he was even in a grocery store. When he was single he ate at restaurants most of the time or had food delivered to his apartment. He wishes he had paid more attention when Olivia gave him cooking lessons while they were dating because Cena needs to eat healthy food.
Shit.
XXX
Marla Briggs is a perceptive woman and she knows something is amiss with Olivia because her friend has not returned any of her phone calls for the past two weeks. So, after the City Council meeting today Marla drove over to The Pope Foundation to find out what is going on with Olivia. As she enters the small suite of offices she sees Mona scurrying down the hall.
"Mona", Marla calls out in her elegant voice. Mona turns around with an armful of papers and a look of confusion on her face.
"Council President Briggs", Mona says when she sees the women standing in the waiting area. "What can I do for you?"
"Mona, is everything all right with Olivia? I have been calling her for two weeks no and she has not returned any of my phone calls. And that is highly unusual."
"Council President Briggs – "
"Enough of that Council President Briggs stuff, Mona. We went to school together. We know each other very well."
Mona smiles and dons a more casual demeanor with her old friend.
"Marla, I don't know too much, but Olivia needed to go away for awhile."
"I see", Marla says. "Do you know when she will return?"
"I'm not quite sure. She didn't say."
Marla nods her head knowing Mona is loyal and would never divulge whatever is going on with Olivia.
"Well Mona, I have finally scheduled the meeting with the government officials and local business owners to discuss Olivia's proposal. She has worked so hard on the proposal and she needs to be a that meeting to answer questions the players surely are going to have."
"I understand", Mona says nervously.
"Make sure she is there, Mona."
XXX
It has been three week since Olivia has left and Fitz is now officially pissed off. While in the first couple of weeks he was shocked and in denial, and even somewhat understanding that his wife perhaps might have needed some space and time to figure out things. But now he thinks she is being childish and selfish because she has not only left him, but she has left their daughter as well. And, her leaving is impacting his ability to effectively run his business. He has stopped traveling, for the most part, because Cena is now his priority. So he works from home and schedules video conferences with most of his out-of-town clients. But some days he has to take Cena to his parents' house so he can get some work done. The running back and forth between his house and his parents' house is draining. He has become short-tempered with everyone who comes near him and does not have a lot of energy to play with Cena in the evenings like she wants. After dinner, the bath, and the bedtime story, he is exhausted and just wants to pass out in his bed.
Today he went grocery shopping with Cena and the outing was a nightmare. She wants everything she sees and talks all of the time, which caused him to forget many of the items on his list. So they had to go back to the store before he could prepare dinner because he forgot an item that Cena really wanted.
"Daddy", poking out her bottom lip as she looks down at the overly crisp chicken nuggets on her plate. This is the third night this week she has had what used to be her favorite meal.
"Yes Princess", he responds as he stands at the copper farmhouse sink scrubbing the pot he forgot was on the flame when he was on the phone.
"I don't like these chicken nuggets", she says.
"What?" He asks, turning from the sink and seeing his daughter pouting.
"They're too hard, daddy."
"Do you need more ketchup, Cee?"
She shakes her head no.
"Do you want something else to eat?"
With wide eyes she shakes her head excitedly.
"What do you want daddy to make you?" He prays she says something easy.
"Peanut butter and jelly."
"PB&J it is", he says in relief.
In that moment he realizes he has to improve his cooking skills because Cena cannot eat chicken nuggets and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches forever.
XXX
Later that week Fitz takes Cena to his parents' house to spend the night because he and John are going out for drinks and dinner. He desperately needs get out of that house and talk to another adult about something other than business.
"So, still no word from Olivia?" John asks as they sit at the table in the restaurant nursing their drinks.
"Not a damn word and I'm more than a little pissed off."
"Were things that bad between you two that she felt she had to leave?"
"I didn't think so. All married couples have their ups and downs - you know how it is?"
John nods.
"Has Abigail said anything? Has she heard from Liv?"
"She doesn't know a thing. How are you managing taking care of Cee-Cee?"
"John, I love my daughter but she can be a handful. Thank god mom and dad are watching her tonight because I need a break."
"Are your friends in DC still looking for Liv?"
"Yeh, but they don't have much hope of finding her. She's not using any of our credit cards and her phone has been turned off."
"So what are you going to do? It's going on a month now."
"I guess I have to wait until she decides to contact me like she said in the letter. But to be honest John, I think Liv is being selfish. I just don't understand how she could break our family apart like this."
John looks at his distraught brother and nods.
When Fitz gets home from his night out with John, he is exhausted. After a quick shower he falls asleep immediately.
Dream
"Baby, Cee has a lot of thick and curly hair so I have to get to it while it's still wet. Once it dries I'm going to have a fight on my hands."
She looks over at her smiling husband who is leaning against Cena's dresser watching the scene unfold before him.
"You better watch me do her hair Fitz - you're going to have to do it one day."
"Never. I'll never figure out how to put that stuff in her hair and comb it without her screaming bloody murder."
"It's a technique, babe. You just have to watch me and practice. Sit down and watch how I do it."
"Nope. I'll wait for our son."
Olivia rolls her eyes as she sections and twists Cena's hair.
End Dream
It has been six weeks since Olivia has been gone and Fitz thought he was getting better at handling her leaving, but now he feels himself beginning to slowly slip into a black hole where all he wants to do is curl up in bed and wait for the nightmare to be over. As he sits in the study staring out the window, he finds the thought of curling up in bed and sleeping laughable since he has not had a restful night's sleep since Olivia left.
With the exception of talking to John occasionally, Fitz refuses to have his well-intentioned family come to the house and help because he cannot tolerate their looks of pity and the incessant questions about what he is going to do about Olivia. So he spends most of his time at home with his daughter and learning how to take care of their home. But his father's 66th birthday party is coming up and he is dreading having to go because he does not want to see the looks of pity on the faces of his family. But his mother insists that he come for Cena's sake. She says it would do Cena good to play with the Ashbourne's grandchildren and celebrate Gramp's birthday.
'Just come for an hour Fitzgerald so Cena can play with the other children and have some birthday cake.'
He agrees reluctantly and groans when he disconnects the call because now he and Cena have to go to the mall to buy a gift.
Month 2
By the second month Fitz and Cena have begun to settle into a routine of sorts. He has accepted that Olivia is not going to contact him until she is ready. He is getting better at managing his time so he can work, take of Cena, and perform most of the household chores. He has begun to watch that cooking channel Olivia told him about years ago so he can learn how to cook better meals for Cena, which she clearly appreciates. And now that Cena has declared she is a big girl, Fitz enjoys combing her hair because she no longer fights him and cries. They have even watched a few YouTube videos together so he could learn how to maintain her hair better. At night, after Cena is asleep, he practices the techniques on her dolls.
They now call hair time their special time where they talk about anything and everything that happens to pop into her mind. As Fitz glides the brush through her thick curls he thinks about the intervention his family staged and wonders about the poor woman they planned to set him up with. He knows they meant well but he loves Olivia even though he is still upset with her. He knows she is thinking about her family, wherever she is. He knows she wants to be with them more than anything, at least that is what he tells himself every day because that is the only way he can get through this. It is only way he can continue to show up for Cena every day.
"Daddy?" She says softly, twisting and bending her fingers as she sits on the floor between his legs. This is her telltale sign that she is nervous about something. It is a habit she picked up from her mother.
"Yes Princess", finishing the last twist the way he saw Olivia and the women in the YouTube videos do it.
"When is mommy coming home?"
There it is. She has not asked when Olivia is coming home in a while but he knew she would ask again at some point and had planned his response. But when the question comes, her words hit him like a ton of bricks and his heart breaks when he sees the tears rolling down her face. All of this time she has been pretending to be a big girl, but she is just a four-year-old little girl who misses her mommy.
"Aww Princess, you miss mommy don't you?" He asks, while lifting her from the floor and rocking her in his arms.
She nods her head slowly and the tears continue to flow.
"Don't mommy love us anymore?" She asks sadly.
"Of course she does, Princess. Mommy just needed to go away for a while. She loves us very much and she loves you even more. Okay?"
Unconvinced, she nods her head anyway.
"Tell mommy I'm a big girl now so she can come home. I won't be bad anymore."
"Cee, you're the best little-big girl ever and mommy is so proud of you. Do you know mommy told me how much she loves you and how proud she is of you?"
"She did?" Now getting excited.
"Yes, she did. And you know what else mommy said?"
Cena shakes her head vigorously with her eyes wide.
"Well Cee, mommy told me that since you are such a good girl that you should have ice cream two nights a week."
"Two nights?" She asks excitedly.
"Yup, two nights."
"Yay. Can I have strawberry tonight, daddy? Pleeeease?"
"You can have whatever you want, Princess."
He gives her a big wet kiss on her pudgy cheeks and she giggles.
"Sprinkles too, daddy?"
"Sprinkles too, Cee."
After Cena finishes her strawberry ice cream with lots of sprinkles, of course she needs another quick bath. Fitz watches as his happy little girl splash around in the bubbles, sing, and clap her hands.
"What's that song you're singing, Princess?"
"We Praise You Oh, Lord. We sing it at church daddy", clapping her hands the way Miss Johnson taught the children in Sunday School.
Fitz nods, unable to remember the last time he attended church with his wife and daughter.
"I see. Do you like going to church?"
"Yes. I play with the boys and girls."
"Do you like playing with the other girls and boys, Princess?"
"Yes daddy. We have so much fun. We draw faces on the computer too", Cena says excitedly.
"Wow that sounds like fun."
"Deon drew Miss Taylor's face. It looked so funny, daddy." Cena laughs hysterically, covering her face with her hands.
He looks at his daughter's happy face and thinks perhaps Cena should spend more time with children her own age.
After Cena has had her bath, Fitz reads her favorite story until she falls asleep with a smile on her face. He grabs the monitor from the nightstand, turns off the lights, and walks down the hall to his bedroom. He goes into the bathroom, closes the door, and breaks down and cries. He does not know how long he can distract Cena from wanting her mommy with ice cream. Like Cena, he wants Olivia to come home, he wants his wife back. After allowing himself a long and cleansing cry he takes a hot shower and goes to bed.
Dream
Once Fitz is settled in his first-class seat on the flight home from Tucson, Arizona, he pulls the In Flight Magazine from the backseat pocket and absently flips through the pages. He stops flipping the pages and smiles when the lingerie displayed on the page catches his eyes. He knows Olivia would look sexy in the red, lace bodysuit. He has been away for four days and he misses his wife, so he orders the $1600 lingerie from his phone and pays extra to have it shipped to their home today. The gift card reads: I only want to see you in this tonight at 9. ~F
His elderly seat mate glances over at the magazine and gives him a thumbs up in approval. Fitz stuffs the magazine into the seat pocket, leans back in his seat, and closes his eyes thinking about his welcome home present.
When he pulls into the driveway he is curious when he does not see Olivia's car parked in front of her bay. He walks to the front door and the gift he ordered while on the airplane sits on the front step. He is livid, thinking she must be working late again. He picks up the box, opens the door, and tosses the box and his keys onto the table in the foyer. He sets his briefcase on the floor and flips on the light.
"You said 9:00. You're late, Mister."
She walks slowly toward him wearing a wicked smile, the red, lace bodysuit he paid a small fortune for, and a pair of black stilettos. His mouth hangs open, surprised to see his wife and thinking his money was well spent.
"You must pay for causing me to catch a chill while waiting for you", now standing inches from him.
"Livvie", finally finding his voice.
She brushes her red painted lips across his and his eyes close. She slides one hand around his waist and the other slowly up his back.
"Open. Your. Eyes." She commands softly, and he does.
She runs her tongue across his lips and his eye close again.
"Eyes open", darting her tongue in and around his mouth.
"Now kiss me like you missed me." And he does, almost devouring her.
He slowly pulls the straps down her shoulders but she stops him.
"You wanted me to wear it so it stays on", she says firmly.
He nods as she rubs her knee up and down his hardness.
"Livvie", he moans in his sleep.
End Dream
When a frantic Mona called Fitz last month to tell him Council President Briggs stopped by the office to let Olivia know the meeting has been scheduled with government officials and local business owners to discuss her proposal to replace the pipes in the Springfield Heights homes he was unsure of what to do. He considered calling Marla to let her know Olivia will be away for awhile and to reschedule the meeting. But he thought better of it because he knows how important this proposal is to Olivia and he knows how difficult it is to get a group of busy government officials and business people together in a room at the same time. So he decided to represent his wife at the meeting since he is somewhat familiar with the proposal. He remembers making some upgrades to the document several months ago but he needed Mona to get him a copy so he can review it before the meeting.
Fitz kept Cena home with him today because he did not want to make two trips to his parent's home in one day. However, this is proving to be an unwise decision because he forgot to go to the grocery last night to buy food for her lunch so he had to get creative with the little food he had in the house. And working from home with Cena today is especially difficult because throughout the day she came into the study wanting to play or wanting something to eat or wanting something to drink or just wanting to see what he was doing. Needless to say he did not get a chance to prepare as much as he wanted for his dinner meeting tonight at 7:30. He looks at his watch and thinks if he is going to get Cena to his parents' home by 6:30 pm then he needs to start getting them ready. As he pulls on his suit jacket and grabs Cena's overnight bag and her favorite stuffed monkey, because he forgot it the last time, he tells Cena it is time to go.
"Come on Cee" he calls upstairs. "We have to get to Gram's."
Silence.
"Cena, it's time to go."
Cena knows when her daddy uses her full name he is upset so she starts to cry. Fitz looks at his watch knowing he needs to leave soon if he is going to be on time for his meeting. He hates being late. He sets Cena's overnight bag at the front door and places the stuffed monkey on top.
"Cena", he yells. "We need to go. Now."
He walks briskly up the stairs to Cena's bedroom and she is nowhere to be found.
"Cena, I don't have time to play hide and seek. We have to go. Now." He is getting frustrated.
Cena closes her eyes tight trying to stop the tears but they keep falling and she cannot stop sniffling. Fitz hears the sounds coming from the closet and becomes angry.
"Cena", he yells, snatching open the door where he sees his daughter sitting on the floor in the dark closet with her knees pulled up to her chest. He flips the light switch and he sees Cena trembling with tears running down her face.
"Cee, what's the matter? Why are you in the closet crying?" He asks, softening his tone.
"Daddy's gonna be made."
"Aww, I'm not mad Princess. We just gotta get going. Okay?"
"You're gonna be mad", she repeats, tightening her arms around her legs.
Fitz reaches down and picks up his distraught daughter and quickly realizes why his little girl is crying.
"Aww Princess, did you have an accident?" She nods and the tears start to flow again.
Since Olivia has been gone Cena has begun to have accidents, sometimes at night and sometimes at his parents' home during the day. When Cena started bed wetting after being dry for so long, Fitz took her to Dr. Jordan to find out what was going on. The doctor explained it is not unusual for a child under 10 to start wetting the bed again. He explained there are many reasons why a dry child will start bed wetting, especially if something happens to make the child feel stressed and insecure. Fitz knows the accidents are happening because Cena misses her mother.
"Don't cry. We can fix it. Okay?"
She nods.
"Daddy's not mad?"
"No, daddy's not mad. Daddy can never be mad at his favorite Princess. Okay?"
She nods and wraps her arms around her daddy's neck and her legs around his waist. Fitz closes his eyes because now the front of his shirt and suit jacket are wet.
"Let's go to your bathroom and get you cleaned up. Okay?"
Cena nods with a big smile.
"And you know what?" He asks as he carries her to the bathroom. "You can pick out whatever you want to wear. Okay?"
"Yay", she claps, displaying a mouth with two missing front teeth.
Fitz dresses Cena in the outfit she selected and he changes his suit and shirt. By the time he gets to the restaurant he is 15 minutes late. He gives the hostess the name of the party he is meeting and she escorts him to the table in the dining room of the upscale restaurant. The hostess smiles at the man as they walk toward the table.
"Have a good dinner, sir. And I'll be right back", the hostess says as she walks away.
"Sorry Madame President - gentlemen for being late."
"We see you bought the big guns with you tonight Fitz", Commissioner Johnston says, beginning to laugh.
"Yeah, we better hold on to our check books. She looks like a pretty tough negotiator", Dawson says, who is now doubled over from laughing so hard.
"I surrender. I surrender." The CEO of a local grocery store chain says, raising his hands as Cena shakes the colorful monkey at the man.
"It's a long story, gentlemen."
"Don't pay those idiots any mind, Fitz. Sit down", Marla says.
Fitz takes a seat and balances Cena on his knee as he removes her coat.
"Fitz, you might be a brilliant negotiator but you don't know a thing about –"
Marla gives the silly men the evil eye, cautioning them not to laugh at the little girl's outfit. It is obvious from all of the different colors and patterns she is wearing that no adult in their right mind pulled that outfit together. Cena looks around the table at the laughing men and wonders what is so funny.
"Cena", Marla smiles at the little girl, "You look absolutely beautiful."
"Tell Mrs. Briggs thank you, Cee."
"Thank you", she says shyly, burying her face in her daddy's neck.
"She is adorable, Fitz. We were just having a little fun", says Councilman Johnston. "I have a granddaughter about her age." The Councilman begins cooing and making funny faces at Cena and the little girl bursts out laughing.
"And I have a son about her age", says the CEO of the chain of grocery stores. "You're a brave man Fitz because I wouldn't have a clue about what to do with him at a dinner meeting."
"She looks just like her mother. No offense, Fitz", Councilman Dawson says.
"None taken."
"Your wife is really something, Fitz. Very bright. Very articulate. You ought to be real proud of the work she's doing in the community."
"She is. Olivia cares about the community very much. She really wanted to be here tonight to discuss her latest proposal but a family matter has come up that required her to go out of town for awhile."
Marla sneaks a glance at Fitz.
"So I hope you don't mind that I am here representing my wife." He looks around the table at all of the faces who are smiling at Cena. "She has briefed me on her proposal so I think I can represent her position."
"No problem", the CEO of the grocery store chain says. "We are all quite familiar with your work, Fitz."
"When Olivia first presented the idea to me", Marla starts. "I thought she was off of her rocker. There was no way City Council was going to fund such an ambitious program. But when she explained that the taxpayers wouldn't have to foot the entire bill - that business owners who do business in Springfield Heights should help fund the program, I thought the idea was absolutely brilliant."
"Well, if this little cutie is anything like her mother then maybe I should watch my check book", says the CEO, tickling Cena under her chin.
The hostess comes to the table with the booster seat for Cena.
"Oh, we don't need that thing", Marla says. "I'll hold Cena if you don't mind, Fitz."
"Not at all. Cena, would you like to sit with Mrs. Briggs?"
Cena nods rapidly, not taking her eyes off the beautiful necklace the woman is wearing. Discussions for funding Olivia's grant proposal went well. All parties agreed to the terms, with a few modifications, and Fitz said he would have the final proposal for review by the end of the week. As everyone begins to leave, Marla whispers in Fitz' ear if Olivia is still drinking her ginger tea. She walked away smiling and Fitz wondered what she is talking about.
XXX
When Fitz and Cena got home from their dinner meeting, he put on her into pajamas and read her favorite bedtime story until she fell asleep, which took all of five minutes. As Fitz sits in bed checking his email he shakes his head when he thinks about Council President Briggs strange comment about Olivia drinking ginger tea. He smiles when he reflects on the glowing compliments his wife received from both government officials and business leaders, and that made him proud. But it also made him sad because he had not taken the time to appreciate the important work his wife has been doing for the community. As he falls asleep, he wonders where his wife is and what she is doing.
A week later Fitz is standing at the high-end, stainless steel, commercial-grade stove preparing Cena her Saturday morning breakfast of panny cakes while talking to his mother on the phone. He hates having to impose on his parents again but he has to fly to Boston tomorrow afternoon to meet with a new client on Monday morning and he needs them to watch her.
"Fitzgerald, you know that your father and I don't mind watching Cena, but –"
"Not today, mom. I have too much going on. I have to finish cooking Cee's breakfast so I will talk to you later."
He disconnects the call and sets Cee's panny cakes in front of her. He smiles as she uses the cut-up fruit to make a face on the top pancake.
"Are you making another happy face, Cee?" He asks as he sips his coffee and scrolls through the notes on his tablet for his meeting on Monday.
"No", she says sadly.
Fitz hears the sadness in his daughter's voice, sets his tablet onto the island, and turns to look at his pouting daughter.
"No happy face today, Cee?"
"No", poking out her bottom lip and looking down at the face on her panny cake.
"So what did you make today, Princess?"
"Mommy's sad face."
Fitz looks at the sad face on the panny cake.
"Mommy cry when she said bye."
"What?"
"Mommy was crying again."
"You saw mommy before she went bye-bye?"
Cena nods, still looking down at the panny cake's sad face. Fitz is getting anxious. It never occurred to him to question his daughter about Olivia. He was so focused on trying to shield her and make everything appear normal he did not think she might have information about Olivia's whereabouts.
"Where Cee - where did you see mommy?"
"She put me on the swing and on the slide", she says almost imperceptible.
Fitz is now kneeling in front of Cena trying get the information he needs. He knows he has to slow down with the questions because he does not want to frighten her, but he needs to find out what she knows.
"At the playground or the park, Cee?" His heart is pounding.
"At the park. We feed the ducks too", Cena says proudly.
"You did?"
Cena nods her head vigorously.
"That's good, Cee. It's good to feed the ducks. And what else did you and mommy do?"
"We got ice cream with Aunt Abby."
And Fitz' face reddens, his eyes grow dark, and he is ready to go nuclear.
"Cee, baby, are you sure Aunt Abby got ice cream too?"
Cena nods her head rapidly again.
"She got chocolate ice cream and she let me have some."
Fitz is livid, but is trying to remain calm in front of his daughter. He wants to tear everything and everybody apart. Abby has known all of this time where Olivia is and she has kept it from him.
"Finish your breakfast, Cee. I have to take you to Grams."
XXX
After Cena finished her breakfast, Fitz dressed her quickly and drove to his parents' home as fast as legally possible. He presses the bell repeatedly until his mother answers the door.
"Fitzgerald, I thought you were bringing Cena over tomorrow", his mother says, surprised to see her son who is obviously agitated about something. "What's the matter? What's wrong?" She asks nervously.
"Mom, I need you to watch Cee", he says hurriedly, pushing his daughter into her arms.
"But where are you going?"
"To get my wife."
XXX
Determined to get someone's attention inside of the house Fitz bangs his fist repeatedly on the front door while pressing the doorbell. After a few moments his brother John opens the door and is shocked to see his brother who is obviously upset.
"What the hell is the matter with you, Fitz? You're gonna break my damn door."
Fitz pushes past John and walks into the house.
"Where the hell is your fucking wife?" Spittle flying from his mouth.
"Whoa, whoa", John says, putting his hands up in protest. He is not sure what is going on but he will not tolerate his brother disrespecting his wife.
"You need to calm down, Fitz. What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Your wife helped Olivia to leave. She's known where the hell Olivia has been all of this damn time."
"What? Are you sure? Abigail wouldn't –"
"Get her down her down here now, John. I swear –"
"You swear what, Fitzgerald?" Abigail says, standing at the top of the staircase and glaring down at her brother-in-law.
"Where is she Abigail? Where the fuck is my wife?" He demands looking up the stairs at the fiery redhead.
"Oh, so now she's your wife? Not your maid? Not your cook? Not your goddamn servant?"
"Abigail!" John shouts. "You know where Olivia is? Where she's been all of this time?" He is astonished as he looks up at his wife.
"Damn right I know where she is! He treats her like shit – like she is one of his enlisted Navy men – barking orders and commands all the time. Well she couldn't take it any longer. You demand that she be some fucking 1950s housewife when she has her own career—her own business. And you knew she had a career when you begged her to marry you. She ran herself ragged trying to satisfy all of your crazy ass demands, run her business, and take care of Cena. She was on pins and needles all the damn time, afraid you were going to fly off the handle about some new shit you thought of."
John is stunned by what he is hearing and he stands in the foyer looking up at his wife with his mouth wide open.
"Where the fuck is she, Abby?"
"Big man – big man. I'm not Olivia - I don't have to take your shit, Fitz – gerald. And it's Abigail to you", she snarls at him.
The two glare at each other with heaving chests.
"Everything is always about you – isn't it? You couldn't take your head out of your ass long enough to notice that your wife was suffering from depression when she was pregnant with Cena, and that was over four years ago. No, because everything is always about you."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Abigail places a hand on her six-month pregnant belly and walks down the stairs, holding onto the railing with her other hand.
"I'm talking about your seven-month pregnant wife who was too damn depressed to get out of bed most days during the last few months she was pregnant with Cena. Who fucked you whenever you wanted when all she wanted to do was die. Who pulled the covers over her head as soon as you left the house and stayed in bed all day until just before you got home. Who had dinner delivered to the house before you got home from your big, important job because she could no longer cook. Because you always had to have a damn home-cooked meal. You didn't even know the shit was store bought."
"What kind of husband are you not to notice that your pregnant wife was depressed and wanted to die?"
Stunned by what he is hearing for the first time, he stares at Abigail with bulging eyes and mouth hanging open.
"And all you wanted to do was to keep her knocked up like you're some goddamn barbarian. You wanted her to walk away from a business she built – something she loves doing - so she could push out babies for you and cook your damn food and scrub your floors."
Abby is now in his face.
"And each day I had to watch her lose a little piece of herself – watch the light dim in her eyes a little more – while you were running around being important."
She punches Fitz on the shoulder as tears roll down her face. John is at her side immediately and wraps his arm protectively around her bony shoulders.
"And you allowed your parents to shame her at every chance they got - every day she dropped off Cena - just because she wanted to have a career and not be like your mother sitting around all day baking cookies. I wouldn't take that shit and John knows it – they all know it. It's a wonder she didn't leave sooner."
"And for some reason, which is beyond me, she loves you." She angrily swipes away the tears with the side of her hand. "And she loves that beautiful little girl the two of you created. And she is so sad because she misses both of you so much."
Tears are streaming down Fitz' face as he tries to process everything that Abigail is saying.
"Where is she, Abigail?" Fitz asks softly. "Where is Olivia – where is my wife?"
John gives his wife a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, encouraging her to tell his brother where Olivia is.
XXX
Fitz had a lot to think about during the two-hour drive up the mountains. He is shocked by everything Abigail said to him. Has he been so self-absorbed that he could not see that his wife was in trouble, that she was suffering silently? And to think that at one point she wanted to die shakes him to his core.
As Fitz drives over the private road that leads to Mirage he is struck by the beautiful foliage and majestic mountains. When he gets out of the car he glances around the area and wonders what kind of place this is. He jogs up the wide stone steps that lead to the lobby of the well-appointment facility and walks hurriedly through the front door to the front desk. The young woman smiles kindly and asks how she can help him.
"My name is Fitzgerald Grant and I'm here to see my wife - Olivia Grant." He says with urgency.
"I'm sorry sir, but our guests aren't permitted to have visitors."
"Young lady, I am not a visitor –I am her husband." Now he is annoyed.
"I'm sorry sir –"
"My wife is here and I want to see her, now! If you don't direct me to where she is - this instant - I will tear this goddamn place apart", glaring at the frightened young woman.
The young woman reaches for the phone and in a few minutes a handsome man about Fitz' age approaches him at the front desk.
"Mr. Grant, I'm Thaddeus Collins. I am the founder of Mirage", extending his hand which Fitz ignores.
"Where's my wife. I want to see my wife now!"
"I'm sorry Mr. Grant, but that won't be possible. Our guests come here because they need to escape the stress of everyday life. They want the privacy—need the privacy Mirage provides."
"I will turn this goddamn place upside down if you don't take me to my wife", Fitz snaps.
Thaddeus looks at Fitz closely. He has dealt with irate spouses in the past and knows how to diffuse the situation.
"Mr. Grant, let's go to my office shall we, where we can discuss this in private?"
Fitz glares at the man for a few moments then reluctantly follows Thaddeus to his office.
"Have a seat, Mr. Grant. Can I get you something to drink?"
Fitz glares at the man and Thaddeus nods and sits in his chair behind the massive mahogany desk.
"Mr. Grant, as I said, our guests come to Mirage because they need a break from whatever is causing them stress. They need to decompress and recharge. They need to be in an environment where they feel safe – where they can sort out whatever they have been experiencing. They need help understanding the emotions they are feeling and they need to be taken care of for a while."
Fitz continues to glare at the man so Thaddeus continues.
"When Mrs. Grant came to us she was not in a good place emotionally. Not bad enough where she needed to be in a different kind of facility", Thaddeus pauses, checking if Fitz understands the allusion. "But she was exhibiting early signs of antenatal depression."
Fitz frowns because this is the second time today someone has said that his wife has been or is depressed.
"While the depression stems from several factors currently occurring in her life, her doctor also believes her pregnancy is also contributing to her condition since she experienced prenatal depression with her first pregnancy."
"Wait, are you saying Olivia is pregnant?" Fitz looks at the doctor in shock. How could he not know his own wife is pregnant?
Thaddeus leans back in his leather chair and eyes the man sitting across from him. There is obviously more to this matter.
"I want to be sensitive here, Mr. Grant. And please, don't take my questions the wrong way", steepling his long fingers.
"Don't you think it is unusual that your wife would check into our facility and has been here for two months without your knowledge? And don't you think it's even more telling that you have no knowledge that your wife is pregnant? Don't you think this speaks to the state of your marriage more so than Mirage preventing you from seeing your wife?"
Thaddeus' questions hit Fitz like a ton of falling bricks and he wonders what the hell he has done to his wife, to his family.
"I want to see my wife, Mr. Collins", feeling weary from everything he has learned about Olivia today.
"Mr. Grant, whether you see you wife or not will be completely up to Mrs. Grant." Thaddeus looks at his computer screen and types in a few commands from his keyboard. "Mrs. Grant is in a session right now and will be there for the next 20 minutes."