Chapter 12. Transformed
Gross negligence: Extreme departure from the standard of care.
A/N: Reader575, it's a sticky situation for today's independent woman, letting a man be a man without losing/compromising herself. BTW, I think you did call Fitz a pig. :-). SeptemberMom, Liv was not so quick to jump back into Fitz' arms. Notice how she took her time relaxing in the quiet room. Kandyse4olitz, there are always two sides to every story. Justbecauseican43, required reading? You're too kind. Ftksblog, what a nice compliment. Don't write for a living, just having fun. I have a real JOB. And Michelle, I'm not majoring in anything. Just having fun writing about my favorite couple.
Always enjoy reading the reviews. Also, appreciate the favorites and new followers. Here we go!
Wearing a plush, navy blue Mirage-issued robe Fitz sits on the lounge chair with his long legs stretched before him and sips the piping hot, black coffee. Relaxing and admiring the majestic mountains sprawled before him, he inhales and fills his lungs with the sweet, fresh air. As he reflects on the events of the past 24 hours, he now he realizes that Olivia leaving and coming to Mirage was the best thing that could have happened to their family. When he left John and Abigail's house he had no idea that two days later he would still be at Mirage and getting marital counseling. He cannot believe how things have turned out. Two months ago he thought his whole world was coming to an end. He thought he was losing his family. And now his wife is coming back home and they are in a much better place for the first time in a long while.
Taking another sip from the mug, he silently admits, albeit reluctantly, that Avril is right. If things had not changed between them, if they had not come clean with each other, they probably would be divorced in a few years. He shakes his head and runs his long fingers through his hair, thinking how differently it all could have ended. He glances at his watch and wonders when his laundry will be sent over, then he slides the phone from the table and calls his mother. He tells her that he and Olivia will be home later today to get Cena. He does not offer any details about where they are and what has transpired over the past two days, although she tried to ask, of course.
"Nice view", Olivia says as she walks onto the patio fully dressed.
"It is", beckoning her to sit on his lap.
"I'm coming home today", she says with a big smile, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"You're coming home", returning the smile and pecking her on the lips.
"I can't wait to see Cee. I've missed her so much."
"She's missed you too."
"How is she, Fitz? Is she confused? Has she wondered why her mommy isn't at home?"
"We talked about it. She was sad for awhile and was trying to be a big girl about it."
"But she's not a big girl, Fitz. She's my baby."
"She's fine now, Liv. She's going to be so happy to see you."
"What did you tell your parents – about where you've been – where I've been?"
"Nothing. We don't owe them an explanation."
"Your father –"
"Don't worry about my father - I'll handle him", kissing her again.
She nods, leans back, and looks at his robe.
"Where are your clothes?"
XXX
As Olivia and Fitz settle into their chairs in the counseling room, they have no idea what to expect at their second and final session with their eccentric therapist. Yesterday's session was emotional and revelatory. In this small room, far away from their home, they learned more about each other in a few hours than they have in the eight years they have been together. In this room they began to stand in their truth and be honest with each other. Honesty is liberating. Honesty is cathartic. Honesty is respectful. Honesty is exhausting.
"So, how are my little reptiles doing this morning?" Avril asks, twisting from side to side as if she is warming up for an athletic event.
Taken aback by the woman's unusual question, Olivia and Fitz scrunch their faces as the pint-sized woman continues her gyrations.
"Sit down. Sit down", getting in one more twist before taking her seat. Sliding the yellow pencil from behind her ear, she explains her question.
"Reptiles shed their skin to allow for new growth and to rid themselves of parasites that have attached themselves to their body. Like a reptile, yesterday you began to shed a layer of skin - so to speak - which will allow you to grow individually and as a couple."
Mouths slightly agape, they nod and smile slightly, now understanding the woman's strange inquiry.
"You have begun to rid yourselves of the parasites called pretending, insecurity, and selfishness that were sucking the life out of your marriage."
They intertwine their hands.
"Shedding, or letting go of what no longer serves us is a natural part of the life process – it's the path to growth. It's a death of sorts", looking at the couple closely as they frown.
"Everything comes to be from out of its opposite. Your marriage was dead – or close to it. So letting old behaviors and beliefs to die will allow for new life in your marriage. You got?"
Amused by her use of analogies, they silently chuckle at the pencil-chomping woman.
"So, let me explain how we're going to spend the next few hours", now tapping the pencil on her wrist. "While yesterday was about opening up – showing your authentic selves - today – well today is about learning how to manage through the difficult times. Okay?"
They nod slowly.
"Good", twirling the pencil. "First, I'm going to teach you about three basic tools you will be able to use to manage through the kinds of issues Rev. Walker discussed during your pre-marital counseling sessions."
Their eyes grow wide.
"Don't look surprised – I always do my homework. And don't fear, the good reverend didn't reveal any specifics about your private sessions. He did, however, speak in generalities about the kinds of topics he typically covers during pre-marital counseling."
They nod, realizing they have not thought much about those sessions in recent years.
"Rev. Walker did a fantastic job counseling you – making you aware of the kinds of issues that, if not attended to properly, will cause you to suffer. Issues like gender roles, your careers, where you should live, who will be the primary caretaker of your children, how many children you will have and when, how your children will be educated, and the relationship you have with your in-laws will all cause strife and dissension in your marriage if you don't know how to handle them when they arise."
"However, information is not knowledge, and it's not enough. You need a set of tools to handle the difficult times, and you need instructions on how to use the tools during those challenging times. So, today I'm going to give you the tools and I'm going to tell you how to use them.
They are intrigued by what the woman is saying.
"After that, I'm going to send you two home – get you out of here so you can get back to that little girl of yours." And they both smile.
"Good, so let's get down to business. Turn your chairs to face each other."
XXX
"The first tool is listening – not hearing – but listening. Listening is foundational to communication. You listen with your heart and hear with your ears. You have to actively listen when the other is speaking, and that means being fully focused on what is being said. It means responding in a way that shows that you truly understand how the other is feeling. It means giving your full attention and not developing a defense or a response while the other is speaking. That's why I didn't want you to interrupt each other during our session yesterday." They smile, thinking about how they always build their defense while the other is speaking.
For the next hour Avril guides them through an exercise where they practice listening to what the other is saying. Each has the opportunity to express a concern and the other has to repeat back what they heard. Avril helps them to understand that active listening does not mean agreeing with what is being said, but validating and empathizing with what has been said.
"The second tool is problem or conflict framing. You should know that conflict in a marriage – in any relationship - is inevitable. But it's how you manage the conflict that will determine the success of your marriage. Framing a problem allows you to focus – to understand and interpret what the conflict is really all about. It helps you to understand what is going on and what you should do about it."
They look at the woman curiously.
"Think about a frame around one of your family photographs. The frame allows you to focus on the most important things – the people in the photo – not everything surrounding it. So when you are framing a problem, you want to focus on the most important things related to the problem, not a whole bunch of mumble-jumble."
They nod in understanding.
"Let me explain further. It's important to understand that the lens through which you view a problem will determine how you respond to it. How each of you sees an issue is determined by your worldview – which is dictated, in part, by how you were raised and the life experiences you have had. So what one might see as a major problem the other might not see it as a big deal at all. And that's okay, you just need to listen and know where the other is coming from when you are discussing an issue."
Now they are confused again.
"Olivia, you were raised in a non-traditional family, whereas Fitz was raised in a more traditional family. And Fitz, politically you are a conservative and Olivia you are not. These basic differences are bound to cause conflict in your marriage."
"But we discussed our differences before we were married", Olivia interjects.
"Discussing them is one thing, but knowing how to deal with the problems that can arise because of those differences is something else." They nod in understanding.
Avril guides them through an exercise where they practice framing a problem. And to their surprise, they realize how they viewed the problem differently. What Olivia saw as a major problem, Fitz saw as a non-issue and did not think it required any discussion at all.
"The final tool I want you to leave here with today is decision making, which can be challenging when a couple needs to make a joint decision. Regardless of the type of decision you need to make the process is the same. Making decisions as a couple is not so much about what you decide on, but rather how you go about the process of making the decision. If you use the same process for each decision, in time, you will become experts at making decisions."
After Avril finishes guiding them through the decision-making exercise their heads are spinning. Although tired, they are also energized because they have learned how to apply new concepts that will help them through real-life challenges.
"So, that's all folks", Avril says, tapping the pencil on her temple. "If you use these tools you will see that the problems in your marriage will lessen", she says, staring at them for a few minutes. She loves when couples realize how inept they were at handling issues in their marriage.
"And by the way, these tools aren't to be used to solve every itty–bitty issue that might come up. Don't overuse them or they will become dull and lose their effectiveness. Use them to address the big rocks – the big issues. All righty?"
And they nod, thinking about how they have been doing so many things wrong.
"And, don't expect to change lifelong behaviors and beliefs overnight – it takes time. And things might feel a little weird for awhile as you adjust to your new skin – as you adjust to being a new way - but that's okay. And when you relapse – because there will be relapses", looking back and forth at the wide-eyed couple. "Don't be discouraged – it's to be expected. What's key is recognizing when you have fallen back into some of your old ways and knowing how to get back on track quickly."
Avril stands from her chair, slides the pencil behind her ear, and resumes her stretching routine. And after a few stretches, and with a rare smile, she opens her arms wide and invites the two in for a hug.
"Come on - come on - now give me a hug. You've earned it." After the group hug Olivia and Fitz begin to leave.
"And one more thing", Avril calls out as they walk toward the door. "Hire a damn housekeeper."
XXX
As Fitz pulls onto the private road that leads away from Mirage, he pushes the button to let down the top on his convertible BMW. They smile when they are immediately enveloped by the openness.
"Fancy car", she says with a big smile and he nods and pulls onto the highway.
The two-hour drive down the mountains was the most relaxing time they have spent together in months. And talking about their problems is over, they did enough of that with Avril.
"Babe", she says, enjoying the warm breeze against her face.
"Hmm?" Totally focused on the highway.
"We have to do something for Thaddeus and Avril. Somehow try to find a way to thank them for the gift."
He nods in agreement as the breeze blows his hair every which way.
"Maybe we get Avril a case of yellow No. 2 pencils", laughing before the words can finish leaving his mouth.
She shakes her head and looks at him laughing at his own joke.
"Not funny."
"I thought it was pretty funny", smiling and showing a mouth full of teeth. He has not felt this good in a long time. "You saw how she chews through those things."
"What about Thaddeus? What should we get him?"
"A session with Avril?" He is laughing so hard that tears start to roll from under his aviator sunglasses and down his face. She shakes her head again.
"You're being silly."
"I am – and I love it."
"I can't wait to get back home", she sighs.
He nods as she picks up his phone from the cup holder and taps the Spotify icon. She searches for a song she thinks is appropriate for them right now; she's feeling blessed. She taps the screen and Marvin Sapp's, Never Would Have Made It, begins to flow through the Bose sound system. They smile at each other and intertwine their fingers. Olivia leans back in the plush leather seat and listens to the rousing lyrics as her husband takes them home.
XXX
Olivia wrings her hand as Fitz pulls the car into his parents' driveway. She is anxious about seeing her daughter because she is unsure how Cena is going to respond to her. Will she be upset and angry with her for going away? Or will she be happy that her mommy is back home?
She squeezes Fitz' hand as they walk up the steps that lead to the front door, and before Fitz rings the doorbell he turns to look at his wife.
"You have nothing to worry about, Liv. She has missed you and wants you back home. Okay?"
He kisses her on the lips and she smiles, thinking she can do this. She has to do this. She has to stop getting anxious about things that make her feel uncomfortable. A few moments after Fitz rings the doorbell, his mother swings open the door and a look of surprise spread immediately across her face, which she replaces quickly with a manufactured smile.
"Oh my goodness Olivia", bringing her hands to her mouth "You're finally back."
"Stop it mother", Fitz says sternly. "We don't need or want the snide remarks. Not today - or ever. Do you understand?"
"I didn't –"
"You did. Now if we can come in we would like to get our daughter."
"Of course. Of course." His mother steps aside to let the couple enter the house.
"Good afternoon, Maura. Thank you for watching Cena for the past few days while Fitz was away. We both appreciate it." Olivia looks up at her husband and smiles.
Cena is playing with her toys on the floor in the family room when she hears a familiar voice and she takes off running in search of her mommy.
"We –"
"Mommy. Mommy", Cena yells as she runs down the hall at break-neck speed with the biggest smile on her face. But she stops suddenly and her eyes grow wide and the tears begin to fall when she sees her mommy standing with her daddy.
"Cee!" Olivia shouts as she runs to her little girl and swoops her up. Olivia plasters wet kisses all over her daughter's face, kissing away her tears.
"Oh, Cee, mommy has missed you so, so much."
And the little girl continues to cry, wrapping her arms and legs tightly around her mommy's neck and waist and burying her face in her mommy's neck.
"You stay now, mommy?" The little girl mumbles into her mommy's neck.
"Mommy is staying. I'm not going anywhere. I'm never leaving again, okay?"
The little girl nods as her tears roll down Olivia's neck. The scene between mother and daughter is heartbreaking to everyone watching. Fitz walks over to his wife and daughter and embraces them both.
"Daddy, mommy says she is staying", Cena says with a big smile.
"Yes, mommy is staying", kissing his daughter on the forehead.
"I told you daddy - mommy come home because I'm a big girl now."
"You are mommy's big girl, Cee. But mommy was came back to her special girl because I love you so much. Never forget it, okay?"
Cena nods as Gerry walks down the hall to see what all of the ruckus is about.
"Olivia?" Gerry says in surprise. "You're back?"
"Yes, Gerry. I'm back home with my family", she says happily.
"For how long?" Grimacing at his daughter-in-law.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. How long are you going to stay or are you planning on running off again? That little girl needs a mother who is going to be around for her, not someone who runs off to god knows where whenever she feels like it. I'm surprised she even knows who you are."
Olivia looks at her father-in-law in shock while rocking her baby girl in her arms. Fitz steps in front of his wife and glares at his father.
"Olivia, take Cena out to the car. I will be out shortly", Fitz says through clenched teeth.
Cena peeks at her daddy thinking he must be upset because he only uses her full name when he is upset. Olivia carries Cena out to the car and buckles her in the car seat and she sits in the passenger seat wondering what is going on inside of the house.
"This all stops today – now. Do you understand me?" Fitz says angrily, looking back and forth at his parents. "You have no idea what Olivia has been through. And instead of being supportive you use this as another opportunity to be critical of her – to make her feel bad. I've allowed it for too long, but it stops now."
His parents are stunned by the tone their son is using with them. Fitzgerald has never spoken to them in such a manner.
"You will now and forever keep your opinions about my wife's choices to yourself - it's none of your business really. Am I making myself clear?"
His mother nods, but Gerry does not back down so easily.
"No it's not clear", Gerry retorts angrily. "You come in her grinning like a goddamn fool because your wife has decided to finally come back home. Well I'm not happy about any of this!"
Fitz and his father are locked in a stare down and Gerry continues with venom dripping from his tongue."
"And now you want to get up on your high horse and act all high and mighty. Well the hell with that. You weren't beating your goddamn chest all of these months when your mother and I were serving as your perpetual babysitter while your so-called wife was off doing her thing."
Fitz balls his fists, closes his eyes, and inhales deeply. He wants to de-escalate the situation before things get too far out of control, before things are said that cannot be taken back. So he takes another deep breath and softens his tone.
"Dad, I – we appreciate you being here for Cena – appreciate everything you and mom have done for us. But watching Cena doesn't give you license to be cruel to my wife. I won't allow it any longer. And mom, it doesn't give you the right to try to force your values on her. She is not you and she never will be you – do things your way. And that's fine with me because I love my wife for who she is."
He stares at his parents with dark eyes.
"Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to take my family home."
Fitz turns to leave as Gerry begins to shout again.
"You're a goddamn fool Fitzgerald", Gerry yells before slamming the door.
XXX
Olivia and Fitz are determined to make their first night back together as a family a special time for their daughter. She has had to endure so much and at such a young age. So tonight they decided to have have a picnic dinner on the deck and allow Cena to have all of her favorite foods, including tacos of course.
Cena has been clinging to her mommy ever since they got home. She wanted her mommy to hold her while Olivia prepared the food for Fitz to put on the grill. She wanted her mommy to hold her when they played with her toys as they sat on the blanket on the deck. When she realized her mommy was not leaving, she began to relax and enjoy the time with her parents. After dinner they played Cena's favorite games and after the third game Cena began to lose the battle with sleep so Olivia bathed her while Fitz cleaned the kitchen.
Fitz smiles happily as he stands in the doorway of Cena's bedroom watching Olivia brush and twist Cena's hair.
"Mommy, I don't cry any more when daddy combs my hair because I'm a big girl now", she says sleepily.
"Yes you are a big girl", Olivia agrees with the sleepy girl.
Fitz smiles, thinking he does not want Cena to be a big girl, not yet. He wants her to be his baby girl forever. He also thinks about how he will miss their special time together where he would brush and twist her hair. He has learned so much about his daughter during those times. He will have to talk to Olivia about allowing him to continue their routine although she is back home.
Together mother and father read Cena her favorite bedtime story until she falls asleep. And as the couple walk hand in hand down the hall to their bedroom, Olivia remarks how tired she is.
"I have a hot bath waiting for you. You've had a busy day", Fitz says.
"Thank you. I love this day, Fitz. You don't know how happy I am to be back home. And, I am so ready to soak in our tub - I've really missed it."
She takes his outstretched hand and they walk into the beautiful bathroom where they have shared so many wonderful moments. Fitz admires his wife's growing belly and her full breasts as she slides into the bath tub. He is ecstatic that he is going to be a father again. He begins to leave when she closes her eyes and moans as the hot water caresses her body.
"Don't go. Stay. Join me", stretching her hand toward him.
He nods and undresses quickly and Olivia moves forward, allowing him to slide behind her. She leans back into his chest and his hands immediately caress her protruding stomach.
"I've missed you so much", kissing her shoulder.
"I've missed this – missed us too."
"You're almost four months", rubbing circles on her growing stomach.
"Thank you – for defending me to your father – to your parents."
"Don't thank me. It was long overdue."
He kisses down her collar bone and she closes her eyes because he always has that effect on her. He caresses her breasts gently and she moans. He loves her breasts and loves them even more when they are full from pregnancy.
"Are they tender yet?" He ask softly.
"A little", enjoying his large hands fondling her breasts. "I'm okay."
"Turn around."
He learned the art of self-control, of holding back, when he traveled to the East while in the Navy, and he taught her the practice early in their relationship. So she straddles him and they stare into each other's eyes and begin their ritual of reconnecting. They breathe in sync, relaxing their mind and body. He slowly kisses every area of her lips, running his tongue around the interior of her mouth, reacquainting himself with the terrain. Then he glides his tongue behind her upper lip and she shivers and smiles. She rests her forehead on his then reciprocates his movements, running her tongue across his lips, kissing and sucking them gently before exploring his mouth. She smiles and places a hand over his heart and he places a hand over her heart, each feeling the flow of their love energy.
"I missed you so much", she says.
The energy of love flows to their most sacred places, but they hold back, allowing themselves to reach a place of inner peace and inner calm. A spiritual place where there is no stress and fighting. A place where there are no feelings of insecurity. A place where there is no need to control and no need to possess because they have consciously and willingly given themselves to the other. And they spend an eternity reconnecting, rediscovering, and reuniting.
"Let's get out. It's getting cold", she says, shivering slightly.
Fitz stands from the bathtub and quickly wipes the water dripping from his body and wraps the towel around his waist. Again, he marvels at his wife's growing belly, their growing child, as she stands in the tub. He helps her out and wraps a plush sheet towel around her body.
"Do you want anything – need anything before -?"
"No. I'm fine."
She finishes her routine of slathering lotion over her body then crawls under the plush comforter she has missed so much. Fitz turns out the lights and slides behind his wife, pulling her close. He kisses her shoulder and buries his face in her neck.
"I always love the way you smell", rubbing her belly.
"Mmm. That feels so good, Fitz."
"I dreamed about you all the time", he says breathlessly. "You were always in my dreams."
She brings his hand to her lips and kisses the palm tenderly. And after a few moments of enjoying the silence, Fitz speaks what has been on his mind for the past 24 hours.
"Liv", he says, continuing to rub her belly.
"Hmmm?" She says, thoroughly relaxed. She has not felt at peace and loved in such a long time.
"No more babies."
"What?" She turns around, finding his serious eyes in the dark.
"I don't want you risking your health. I can't – I won't have that."
"Fitz, I just need to manage the stress – my anxiety."
"Olivia, we have Cena and another baby on the way. We are blessed."
"But you've always wanted more children."
"I won't risk your health because of my selfishness. I almost lost you - that won't happen again."
"We have to talk about this more, Fitz. Maybe we can find a specialist before we decide. Okay?" She kisses him deeply then cuddles into his side and falls fast asleep.
XXX
Cena runs ahead of her father who is walking down the hall toward their bedroom balancing the breakfast tray for his wife whom he is sure is now awake thanks to their overly excited daughter.
"Mommy. Mommy! Wake up mommy!" The little girl shouts as she jumps onto the bed and shakes Olivia's shoulder.
"Good morning, Cee. What has you so excited this morning?" Olivia asks, trying to sit up in the bed.
"Daddy cooked you breakfast", she spills the beans as Fitz walks into the room.
"Told you, mommy. I told you."
"Wow you were right, baby girl", looking at her husband and smiling.
"I'm a big girl mommy. I'm not a baby anymore."
"Oh, I forgot", Olivia smiles. "But the Tickle Monster can tickle big girls too."
"No mommy", Cee squeals, trying to escape her mother's tickles. "No tickles", the littles girl laughs out loud, showing her missing teeth.
"Breakfast time", Fitz says, setting the tray ono the nightstand.
"Daddy made you panny cakes, mommy." Looking at her mother with wide eyes.
"He did?"
The little girl nods her head vigorously.
"And I made a happy face."
"You did?"
"Show mommy the happy face, daddy." The little girl says bouncing up and down on the bed.
"Okay, Cee. But you have to stop bouncing so mommy can eat her breakfast."
Fitz sits on the side of the bed and gives his wife a good morning kiss.
"Hi", he says, smiling at his sleepy wife.
"Hi."
"Pucker daddy", pursing her lips and her daddy accommodates.
"Let's give mommy space to eat, Cee."
"You make good panny cakes, babe", Olivia says and she and Fitz burst out laughing. And Cena tilts her head as she looks at her parents, wondering what is so funny.
XXX
After breakfast Olivia went back to sleep for a few more hours, which gave Fitz and Cena time to clean the kitchen and plan activities for the day.
"So what do you want to do today, Princess?" He asks as he washes the dishes in the copper farmhouse sink.
"I want to go to the park with mommy", she exclaims.
"Can daddy come too?"
"Do you want to feed the ducks with me and mommy?"
"I would love to feed the ducks with you and mommy. Now pucker."
The Grants spend the afternoon at the park feeding the ducks and reconnecting as a family.
And Olivia and Fitz sit on the bench watching their daughter go up and down the slide. Cena is so happy and carefree and they want her to stay that way. They want her to feel safe and assured that her mommy is not going away again.
"How are you feeling today?" Lifting her hand from the bench to his lips.
"I feel fine. The baby was a little active earlier."
He smiles.
"Are you feeling any sadness?"
"Not at all. I am so happy to be back home with you and Cee."
He nods.
"Liv, I need you to tell me right away if things change. I don't want you to deal with this alone."
"OK", she says softly, looking over at Cena on the swing. "She's getting so big, Fitz."
"She is. She didn't even ask us to give her a push to this time. I don't want her to grow up too fast, Liv."
They watch in silence for awhile as Cena swings higher.
"When do you think you want to go back to work?"
"I don't know. I have to call Mona later and let her know that I'm back."
"She has done a good job managing things while you've been gone."
Olivia looks at him curiously.
"I stopped over at the office a few times. The first time to find out if she knew where you were."
"She didn't. I didn't want to put her in the position of having to lie – to anyone."
"I know. Then I stopped over a couple more times to check if she needed anything. I told her to call me if she ever needed any help."
"Thank you, babe. There is so much I want to have in place before going back to work and before the baby comes. We have a lot of decisions to make, Fitz."
"I know. We have to call an agency next week to start interviewing to get us some help around the house."
She nods.
"Let's start researching pre-schools next week too. Once we have a short list we can send it to Chuck in DC so he can investigate each one before we make a decision. Of course Cena will have to like whichever one we choose."
"Of course", nudging him playfully. "She'll be okay, babe."
He nods, still not convinced that any school is going to be good enough for Cena.
"I've been reading through the list of therapists Thaddeus gave us. I want to start calling them next week. I don't want too much time to pass without having the support we need."
"When is your next checkup with Dr. Perry?"
"In two weeks."
"After Cena is in bed tonight let's look at our schedules and sync them up. I want to be by your side for all of your appointments. I won't be oblivious to what is going on this time."
"Fitz, you can't be with me all of the time, you have work to do. You've worked too hard building the business you love and I won't let you jeopardize it."
"None of that matters if my family isn't happy and safe – if you are not okay."
A tear rolls down her face because he is being the man she always knew he could be.
"I don't want to be the cause of your business suffering because I –"
"Hey, hey", pulling her onto his lap. You are my wife. You are fine. And you are everything I have ever wanted."
"You always wanted more children, Fitz."
"I want you more, okay?" Looking at her intently and wiping the falling tears from her face.
XXX
Fitz is scheduled to meet with Bennie for lunch to discuss what is going on with Olivia and to get his medical opinion. He wants advice from someone he trusts. As Bennie sits in the booth waiting for his brother to arrive, he wonders what is so important that Fitz needed to meet with him right away. He looks up from his phone and sees his brother rushing into the restaurant.
"Sorry, I'm late Bennie. My conference call went longer than I expected."
"No problem. How are you? How are you managing things?"
"Things are complicated. Liv is back – been back for a few days now."
"Wow. How do you feel about having her back?" Sipping his water.
"I love my wife, Bennie. I'm happy my family is back together."
Bennie shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
"Does she plan on staying?"
"Of course she does. She's happy to be back home, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."
"You want to talk to me about your wife's happiness?" Looking at his brother with disdain. "Well count me out. What Olivia did to you and Cee is wrong - disgraceful really. And now she wants everybody to jump because she has decided to come back from doing whatever – with whomever. Well I won't support that kind of selfishness", he says adamantly.
The brothers who share the same eyes look at each other for a long while.
"You still haven't gotten over her choosing me", looking at his brother in disbelief. "Good god, it's been over eight years, get the fuck over yourself."
"Fuck you, Fitz"
"No, fuck you Bennie. I'm tired of your shit. I didn't take Olivia from you. You can't be jealous of something you never had."
The brothers scowl at each other and the other patrons turn around to see who is causing the disturbance.
"I came here to talk to you about helping my wife and your friend, but all you want to do is beat up on her - to judge her without knowing the whole damn story - all because you couldn't fuck her."
Bennie jumps across the table and tries to grab his brother in the collar but Fitz pushes him away quickly.
"Fuck you, Bennie", Fitz yells as he storms out of the restaurant.
And Bennie is left to bear the stares of the other diners. So he orders a scotch and spends the afternoon thinking about the encounter he had with his brother, who he still loves and respects. As Bennie sips on his third scotch, he admits to himself that Fitz is right, Olivia was never his to lose. She never knew he had deep feelings for her and that is his fault. He needs to stop punishing his brother and Olivia for his shortcomings. It is time he moved on. He takes another sip and wonders what his brother wanted to talk about.
XXX
It has been three weeks since Olivia returned home from Mirage and Fitz and Dr. Perry have been monitoring her emotional stress closely. They want to prevent, if possible, her prenatal depression from returning. Olivia is so thankful that she has so much support from her husband this time. Their sessions with Avril helped her to understand how important it is to share her fears with Fitz and to ask for help before she begins to feel overwhelmed and anxious. So now she shares everything with him, no matter how insignificant she thinks it is. As she leans back in the chair in the study of their home, she smiles because everything is so much better for them now. She and Fitz are closer than they have ever been and that makes her really happy.
Cena is now in a pre-school that Fitz had investigated thoroughly before enrolling his Princess. He got emotional when his little girl went to school for the first day. And, he cannot believe she will be going to kindergarten next year. Olivia shakes her head when she thinks about the number of days Fitz sat in the hall outside of Cena's classroom watching to see how she was adjusting to her new environment. After the third day, the headmaster called Olivia and politely requested that Mr. Grant refrain from 'hanging out in the hall outside of Cena's classroom.' He said Mr. Grant was making Ms Kirk, Cena's teacher, nervous and his presence was not helping Cena to adapt to her new environment. Of course Fitz was livid when he learned he had been banned from the hallway. He threatened to go to the school and give Headmaster Frankel a few choice words.
Now that Cena is in school Fitz and Olivia began interviewing housekeepers to help them with the household chores. They have interviewed than eight candidates the agency sent over and Fitz is not satisfied with any of them. Olivia is becoming frustrated and so is Becky Tomlinson, the manager of Happy Helpers.
"Mrs. Grant, I just don't know if Happy Helpers will be able to find someone to meet all of Mr. Grant's requirements. We have sent over eight of our most experienced helpers, some of whom have worked for the most prestigious families in the area, but none of them seem to meet Mr. Grant's requirements." Becky sighs heavily in exasperation.
"I understand, Becky. You have done a fantastic job and I'm certain anyone of the helpers would be capable of meeting our needs. I will talk with my husband this evening and get back to you tomorrow. Okay?"
"I hope you don't think we are not doing our very best to satisfy you and Mr. Grant. But it has been two weeks since you started interviewing candidates."
"You have done a terrific job, Becky. I will get back to you tomorrow. You have a good day."
Olivia disconnects the call and leans back in her chair and sighs.
"Is everything all right?" Fitz asks, walking into the study with a kitchen towel thrown across his shoulder.
"I just finished talking with Becky from Happy Helpers."
"Great", he says excitedly. "Does she have more candidates for us to interview?"
"Babe", Olivia begins as she walks from behind the desk to where her husband is standing. "There is no one else for Becky to send out for an interview."
He looks at her perplexed.
"Babe, we have to make a decision about one of the many very good helpers we've already interviewed."
"Maybe we should contact another agency?" He says oblivious to the real problem.
"No babe, it's not about the agency", wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him close. Her almost five-month pregnant belly rubs against his stomach and he scrunches his face because he does not understand.
"Fitz, the requirements you gave the agency are very narrow, and quite frankly no one will ever be able to satisfy them all."
He tilts his head and frowns at her.
"Babe, whenever we get close to finding someone who meets most of your requirements you change your mind at the last minute."
"I'm not changing my mind, Olivia. I'm amending the requirements to reflect some critical expectations I have for someone who is going to spend a significant amount of time in our home. Is anything wrong with that?" He asks defensively.
"Yes, there is. You changing your mind really isn't about any of the candidates' qualifications, it's about you not wanting a helper."
"That's not true. I want to get us some help around here." He starts to pull away from her embrace but she holds on to him tighter.
"And I don't doubt that. But I do believe you are somewhat hesitant about having a stranger in our home. And consciously or unconsciously you have been hindering the process."
Not liking the accusation that has been hurled at him, his face hardens and his breathing becomes shallow. He narrows his eyes and grimaces before responding.
"Fine, call Becky and select whoever you want", he says in defeat.
She smiles at his sulking face.
"How about Hildie?"
He looks up at the ceiling for a few moments as if he is trying to recall Hilde's resume and the details of the private investigator's report on Hildegrand Granger.
"Hildie is fine", he finally says in submission.
She smiles because he is really trying to use the techniques Avril taught them.
"Now pucker, babe", standing on her tip-toes.
He deepens the kiss and starts to back Olivia against the desk until he hears the smoke detector beeping.
"Shit!" He exclaims and rushes from the study, through the family room, and into the kitchen. And Olivia rushes behind him to witness the latest catastrophe.
"Dammit", he growls, grabbing the kitchen towel from his shoulder and waving it around in an effort to clear the smoke.
"Open the door, Liv", he yells as he pulls open the window.
"What are you cooking now, Fitz?" Olivia asks as she stands outside on the deck doing her best not to laugh at her husband flailing the towel around and choking from the smoke.
"I was cooking that recipe you and Cena wanted from last night's episode of Chef's Knife", he says in frustration, throwing the scorched sauce pan into the sink.
"Well it smells awful."
"That's because it's burnt. I worked all afternoon on that recipe", he says in disappointment.
He looks up at the annoying smoke detector that is still beeping loudly before stomping from the kitchen and joining Olivia on the deck, who is laughing hysterically.
"Fitz, you have become a really good cook, but even the best has an occasional mishap", she says still laughing.
"Well I guess we'll be grilling hot dogs and hamburgers tonight", he frowns as he looks over at the grill.
"Cena will love that."
"Let's sit out here for awhile - until the smoke clears." He pulls Olivia onto his lap and rubs her belly.
"This is nice", taking in the colorful scenery she and Abby planted over the years. "I love our home, Fitz."
"We don't spend enough time out here."
"Well, we'll be spending a lot of time out here next weekend because we're having Abby's baby shower on Saturday."
"You mean you ladies will spend a lot of time out here. John, Cena, and I are going out."
"Where are you going?"
"Haven't decided yet."
"How are things going at the office? Enjoying the peaceful scene in the middle of the afternoon with her husband.
"I don't know what took me so long to do it, Liv."
"Well, Avril helped us to see a lot of things differently, babe", leaning against his chest.
He nods as he thinks about what Avril said about the importance of him having a consistent presence in the home. She helped him to understand that being home more often is critical to the stability of their marriage and is essential to raising a well-adjusted daughter. He now understands the importance of Cena seeing him in the home so they can retain the emotional bond they developed over the past few months.
Fitz has hired Geoffrey Tynes, an extremely bright, Harvard Law-trained attorney to assume some of his case load. Hiring Geoffrey allows him to focus his attention on the most important clients, those he has had the longest. And Sandra, his office manager, will handle the day-to-day operations and all of the administrative duties. Fitz cannot believe how much his stress has been reduced and how much more time he has to spend with his family. He wonders why he did not think about hiring a staff sooner.
XXX
"It's absolutely beautiful back her Liv", Nora says as she sets the table for Abigail's baby shower. It's a perfect day for a baby shower."
"Thank goodness the forecast didn't call for rain. Abby loves the outdoors so I wanted to have the shower out here today."
"Well this deck is certainly big enough, but I'm not surprised", she says, continuing to set the table.
"What do you mean?" Olivia asks, focused on decorating Abigail's chair.
"Well, the Captain always has to do things in a big way. This house is all him."
"Nora", Olivia says, walking over to her sister-in-law and placing a hand on her arm to stop the young woman's movements. "Your brother is a good man – a good husband and a good father. He's loving, kind, and full of humanity. I know you two have your differences, but please don't talk about him that way – at least not while I'm around. Okay?" She smiles politely and pats Nora kindly on the cheek.
Nora eyes Olivia closely before responding.
"OK", she says, smiling sheepishly.
Two hours later the deck is filled with the Grant women and all of Abigail's friends and some co-workers. The talk is lively as they all eat, share stories about Abigail, and play games.
"I'm not wearing that stupid hat, Olivia. Charlotte loves to post everything on Facebook. I'll never live it down if the people at work see me wearing that thing."
"I promise I won't post a thing", Charlotte says, picking up her phone from the table.
"You better not or I'll grease your nursing shoes when I get back to work."
"Well I hope you don't mind Olivia, but I already posted pictures of your beautiful home", Tanya says, flipping her long braids. "Your home is absolutely beautiful."
"You shouldn't post pictures of someone's home without getting permission", Nora snaps at Tanya. "Did you show the address? You'll have all kinds of nuts showing up here."
Tanya is stunned by Nora's outburst.
"I'm sorry Olivia, I meant no disrespect. I just wanted people to see that I'm spending my Saturday afternoon in such a beautiful home.
"No problem, Tanya", Olivia says kindly.
"And I didn't show the address either", Tanya turns and gives Nora a look that could kill. "I'm not an idiot."
Nora rolls her eyes at the woman.
"Olivia", Diane begins, trying to break the tension. "How do you maintain this big house and work?"
"Well, Fitz does a lot of the cooking, and that's a big help. As a matter of fact, Fitz wanted to prepare all of the food for the shower but I told him that was a little ambitious."
"Fitzgerald? Cook? Humph, I don't believe it", Abigail says with disdain.
"Fitz has become a really good cook, Abigail"
Abby looks somewhat shocked because her friend seems to be more protective of her husband these days.
"Well, I wouldn't want John to cook anything for me. Well, maybe I would if he could cook", she chuckles.
"And fortunately we now have Hildie - she's a really big help."
"Hildie? Who's Hildie?" Maura asks curiously.
"Maura, Fitz and I decided to get someone to help us around the house. Hildie is absolutely wonderful – a godsend actually."
"Or should we say a Fitz-send", Nora laughs too loud.
"Well, I didn't have a Hildie or help from anyone when I was having babies. I had four and I did everything by myself."
Nora looks down at her plate.
"Well, Jonathan already knows that we're going to get some help when I go back to work. Olivia, you have to give me the name of the agency you used.
Olivia nods and smiles, remembering how their search process was elongated because of her husband.
"You're going back to work, Abigail?" Maura asks in surprise.
"Of course, Maura. Right after my six weeks of maternity leave are over."
"Who is going to take care of the baby?"
"Uh – day care?" Abigail throws her head back and laughs out loud showing a mouth full of food.
Nora pokes at the tomatoes in her salad.
"We have onsite day care at the hospital", Charlotte says. "And thank goodness, because after being on maternity leave for six weeks I was glad to get back to work. It's the best of both worlds really. I can work doing what I love and any time during the day I can go down to the day care and check on Ian."
"So what are you going to do Kimberly when you and Kenneth have a baby? Are you going to stop working at that cushy job and making all of that money to stay home with a baby?" Debra asks.
"Not at all. Kenneth and I have already discussed it. It'll be day care for us too. It's just unfortunate my company doesn't have onsite day care. I'm jealous of Abigail and Charlotte."
"I find it interesting that you young ladies are so comfortable leaving your children so soon after they are born and having other people to take care of your homes", Maura says in disbelief.
"Mom, please", Nora whines.
"Mrs. Grant –
"Which Mrs. Grant?"
Olivia and Abigail respond in unison as they hold their stomachs and laugh as if they have not said this line at least a thousand times. Kimberly shakes her head at the two laughing women and turns back to the original Mrs. Grant.
"Mrs. Grant", and Kimberly gives Olivia and Abigail a look that says, don't do that cornball joke again. Olivia and Abigail snicker.
"I work in a field where the technology changes so quickly. If I took off a few years – for any reason - my skills will be obsolete when I returned to work. Besides, I love what I do too much to just sit on the sidelines and do nothing."
"Well, I hardly call taking care of your family and home sitting on the sidelines and doing nothing."
Kimberly grows quiet out of respect for the older woman.
"Mom, will you just stop?" Nora insists.
"I think it's time we start opening the gifts", Olivia says brightly as she stands from her seat. "Put on the hat, Abigail."
XXX
"So, how are things going with you and Liv?" John asks as the brothers sit on the park bench watching Cena glide down the slide.
"I don't want to be overly optimistic, but things are good – we're good. I'm glad to have my family back together, John. I learned a lot when Liv and I were up at Mirage."
"That's good."
"We had couples counseling while we were there, which neither of us expected by the way. In some strange way, Liv leaving was the best thing that could have happened for our marriage."
"Wow. That's saying a lot."
"It is. The experience helped us to see each other in a totally different light. It was emotional and exhausting, but it was necessary."
"I'm happy for you, bro. Hey, what's the matter with Cee-Cee? She's looking a little sad."
Fitz looks over at his daughter who is sitting at the bottom of the slide watching the children ride around the circle on their bicycles.
"I don't know. Maybe she's getting tired."
The two brothers walk over to the slide where they see the little girl looking down at the ground and twisting her little fingers.
"What's the matter Princess – are you tired?"
She shakes her head no.
"Did you hurt yourself, Cee-Cee?" John squats to be eye level with the pouting girl.
"Do you want to go home, Cee?" Fitz asks, now bending down in front of his daughter.
Cena shakes her head no and looks over at the children who are laughing as they whizz around the park on their bicycles. The two men follow her line-of-sight and realize what has Cena feeling sad.
"Do you want to ride a bicycle, Cee-Cee?"
She nods her head vigorously.
"Well, I'm glad you bought your Suburban, John. It seems like we have to go buy a bicycle."
"Come on Cee-Cee, let's go get you a bicycle."
"Yay", Cena squeals, clapping her hands.
"What color do you want?" John picks up his niece and they begin to walk toward the parking lot.
"Red", she says excitedly as she bounces in her uncle's arms.
"Not pink, Cee-Cee?"
"No. I like red now, Uncle John."
"Then red it is", John says as he straps his niece into her car seat in the back of the truck.
"I like riding in your truck, Uncle John. It's so big."
"I'm glad someone likes it", John whispers to his brother. "Abigail hates it."
XXX
The three walk through the toy store in search of a bicycle for Cena, and as they approach the display of bicycles Cena squeals when she sees the object of her desire. Fitz and John look at each other and smile as the little girl runs, at full speed, to the bicycle that has caught her eyes.
"Is this the one you want, Princess?"
With eyes as wide as ever, Cena nods her head up and down.
"Yes daddy. Pleeeease", looking up at her father with a face he can never resist.
"OK, let's go find someone that works here."
"Can I ride it at the park, daddy? Pleeeease?"
"I think they assemble bicycles here, Fitz. It shouldn't take too long."
Fitz nods.
"But we have to get you some safety gear first. Okay?" He knows Olivia will kill him if he did not bring Cena back home in one piece.
"OK", Cena agrees quickly, although she has no idea what safety gear is.
As Cena's new bicycle is being assembled, they look for a helmet for Cena.
"I think this one is perfect. What you think Cee-Cee?"
She nods vigorously as she looks at the red helmet with yellow and black skulls and cross bones.
"Now we have to get some pads", Fitz says as they walk down the aisle.
"She's going to need elbow pads, knee pads, and a chest pad too", John says as if he is an authority.
An equally clueless Fitz nods and grabs everything from the shelves the men think Cena will need to be safe while riding her bicycle. He grabs the red elbow, knee, and chest pads with skull and cross bones that match the helmet.
"Do you think we should get training wheels?" Fitz asks John.
"No way. We'll have her riding solo by the time the baby shower is over."
Back at the park Fitz and John hold the red devil bicycle upright while Cena climbs onto the seat dressed in her safety gear. And the other children come over to admire Cena's new bicycle.
"Cool bike, Cena."
"Yeh, and the pads too. I'm going to ask my dad to get me some just like that."
Fitz and John high five each other, proud of their selections. After about 45 minutes of practice, Cena rides shakily around the circle with the other children.
XXX
Oh my god", Olivia screeches and grabs her chest when she sees her little girl walking onto the deck looking like a member of a motorcycle gang.
"Mommy", Cena screams as she runs over to her mother. "Daddy and Uncle John buy me a bike and it's red and I have a helmet and it's red too and I ride my bike in the park and the other children think I'm cool", she says all in one breath.
"Cena, take a breath and calm down", looking at her daughter in shock.
And Cena repeats her story for everyone at the baby shower to hear because she is so excited.
"Daddy and Uncle John buy me a bike and it's red and I have a helmet and I ride it in the park and the other children think I'm cool."
"What are you wearing, Cena?" Maura asks in disbelief.
"Daddy and Uncle John buy me pads and the children think they're cool too", she says excitedly.
The women are all in shock as they stare at Cena who is covered with skulls and cross bones.
"Oh my god Liv, she's actually wearing a black leather jacket", Abigail says in shock.
"That was my touch", John smiles proudly.
"You're not coming anywhere near this baby", Abigail says, rubbing her stomach as she glares at her husband.
"Cee, you look hot. Are you hot wearing all of that stuff?" Nora asks.
"No. I'm cool Aunt Nora."
And all of the adults laughs out loud.
"Fitz, take off all of those pads – and that jacket too. She might be cool but she's making me hot just looking at her."
"I want that jacket for myself", Tanya says, flipping her braids.
"Come here, Princess. Let me get you out of your gear."
"I'm a biker now daddy", Cena says happily.
Fitz looks at his beaming daughter in shock, wondering what he has created.
XXX
Olivia is sitting on the sofa in the family room with her swollen feet propped on top of the coffee table and balancing a huge bowl of popcorn on her stomach. Fitz sits in the chair across from her and Cena sits on the floor between his legs while he brushes and twists her hair.
"Babe, I hope you're paying attention to this episode of Chef's Knife because I want you to make that dish for me", plopping a handful of popcorn into her mouth.
"Daddy, make me that dish too", Cena says pointing to the TV screen.
"Okay Princess, but you have to be still so I can finish your hair", glancing at the TV screen.
"Babe, you've really gotten good at that. Cee's hair looks beautiful."
"It took me a while to get the hang of it – thank goodness for YouTube."
"And you've become such a good cook too. Dinner was terrific."
"Well, I quickly realized that Cena and I couldn't survive on chicken nuggets and PB&J sandwiches so I started watching some of those cooking shows you forced me to watch back when we were dating."
"It definitely has paid off. Babe, what would you think if I got my hair braided like Tanya's?"
"Who's Tanya?" Concentrating on Cena's hair.
She rolls her eyes.
"Babe, she was at Abby's baby shower. Don't you remember?"
"No. I was too busy with my little Biker Princess. Right Cee?"
Fitz and Cena have compromised on her new nickname. He could not imagine never calling her his Princess because she now wants to be called a biker. So they both agreed Biker Princess would be her new nickname.
"Right daddy."
"So what do you think – about me getting braids?"
"It's your hair, Liv. You can do whatever you want with it."
"Well don't you have an opinion? Do you like braids – don't like braids? She persists.
"I think braids can be beautiful. I see all kinds of styles when I'm traveling. Just don't expect me to braid Cena's hair. Those styles look complex."
She shakes her head.
"Do you want more grape juice?" He asks, looking at her empty glass.
"Yes, please", shaking her wine glass at him.
"Come on Cee, the Queen is thirsty. Let's get mommy more juice."
"Biker Princess wants juice too, daddy."
As Fitz and Cena walk into the kitchen to get refills of grape juice, the doorbell rings.
"I'll get that babe", Olivia yells as she pushes her five-month pregnant body from the sofa. She waddles to the foyer and is stunned when she opens the door and sees her mother-in-law standing outside on their front step.
"Maura? Is everything all right?" Rubbing her stomach.
"May I come in, Olivia?"
"Of course – of course", stepping aside to allow her mother-in-law to enter the foyer.
"Come in and have a seat. We were just watching TV."
As Maura sits on the sofa, Fitz walks into the room carrying glasses of grape juice for the Queen and the Princess. He stops abruptly when he sees his mother sitting on the sofa. Cena is skipping into the room behind him. He glances quickly at Olivia then back to his mother.
"Grams", Cena yells when she sees her grandmother sitting on the sofa. The little girl runs over to her grandmother and jumps on her lap.
"There's my Cena. Grams misses you so much."
"Mom? What are you doing here?"
"Can't I come to visit my son and his family?"
"Of course - anytime. We just weren't expecting you."
He walks over and gives Olivia her juice, sits on his chair, and sets Cena's juice on the table next to him.
"How are you? Is everything okay?"
"I'm fine. Everyone is fine. Everything is fine," rubbing her hand up and down Cena's arm.
"Come Cee. Let daddy finish your hair."
Cena jumps off of her grandmother's lap and points to the TV.
"Grams, daddy's gonna cook that for me and mommy."
"You cook Fitzgerald?" His mother looks at him in surprise.
"He has become a good cook", Olivia chimes in.
"I need to help around the house more", he says matter of factly. "Plus, I enjoy cooking."
"Daddy makes me panny cakes, Grams."
"I know he can make panny cakes, but that dish on TV looks pretty complicated."
Cena sits on the floor between her daddy's legs and he resumes combing her hair.
"I could never get your father to comb Nora's hair, let alone cook", admiring the man her son has apparently become.
"It would have been nice if I had some help around the house when you kids were growing up."
Fitz and Olivia look at the woman in surprise. Maura has always given the impression she had everything under control and did not need or want anyone's help around the house.
"It was hard raising three rambunctious boys and a little girl. Each of you always needed so much of my time."
Fitz and Olivia look at each other, silently wondering if something is wrong with the woman.
"And taking care of that big old house was a job. Gerry just had to have that house, but he was clueless about how much work it takes to maintain it."
"Mom …" Fitz says slowly, wondering if something has happened between his mother and father.
Maura Grant seems to be oblivious to her son calling her as she stares blankly into space saying words she has swallowed for the past 45 years.
"I never got any time to myself - never. My every waking moment was spent taking care of you kids, Gerry, and that house. Don't get me wrong, I love you all very much, but I never had any me time. Your father really didn't believe in any of that new age stuff for women. He believed a women's place was in the home, and that's where I stayed."
A lone tear rolls down her cheek.
"Babe, it's past Cee's bedtime."
He gets the hint quickly and tells his daughter to give Grams a good night kiss.
"Pucker, Grams."
"I love you, Cena."
"I love you too, Grams", running back to the table and drinking the rest of her grape juice.
Fitz carries Cena upstairs for her bath and bedtime story as Olivia slides across the sofa and takes Maura's hand in hers.
"Maura", looking into the woman's eyes who has the same eyes as her husband and daughter. "What's the matter? What's wrong?"
"Olivia, I owe you an apology for all of these years."
Olivia crinkles her brow.
"I was unfair to you. Oh, I was polite about it - most of the time. I judged you for your choices - for exercising your freedom to choose the kind of life you wanted. I judged you for not being a stay-at-home mom. I judged you for having a career. I judged you for not having a home-cooked meal on the table every night when Fitzgerald came home. I judged everything about you, which I'm sure contributed to the strife in your marriage. Thank god my son loved you and his little girl enough to fight for his family.
"Maura, you don't have to do this."
"I do. I owe this to you and to Fitzgerald."
Having heard some of what his mother has said, Fitz walks into the room, sits on the sofa next to his wife, and drapes his arm around her shoulders.
"Olivia - Fitzgerald I am here to apologize for my actions. I was wrong – have been wrong for some time. If I am to be honest with you both, my behavior toward Olivia was about jealousy – plain, old-fashioned jealousy. Olivia, I saw in you everything I wasn't. Everything I missed out on. Everything I never had the opportunity to do. You have a career that you are passionate about and you didn't sacrifice your career to have a family. You showed me that a woman can have both, and have both at the same time, especially when you have a husband who is willing to cook and comb his daughter's hair." She looks at her son and smiles weakly.
"Mom, I had no idea you were so unhappy."
"Fitzgerald, I needed more - wanted more - but I didn't have options back then. My parents didn't believe that girls should go to college. They thought girls going to college was a waste of money. They said it would take money away from my brothers who were going to college. They thought my role in life was to become somebody's wife and have children. So that's what I did for the last 45 years."
Olivia squeezes her mother-in-law's hand.
"Many times I thought about packing a bag and just walking away while your father was at work and you kids were at school. But I had nowhere to go and I didn't have any marketable skills. I had no way to support myself", she says sadly.
Fitz is astonished by his mother's confession.
"Olivia, when you left for those few months I silently applauded you for your courage – for doing what I never had the nerve to do, but I denigrated you publicly. And for that I am so sorry because I had an idea of why you left", Maura says looking at her son again.
"You know it's taboo for a woman – a mother to leave her family. She is called every nasty name under the sun if she does. But when a man does it he is somehow given a pass. The responsibility of a family and a job are too much for him some would say. Then he gets to show up 15 years later after the kids are all grown - wanting to be the hero -– after all the hard work has been done."
Fitz looks at Olivia again, thinking how he almost lost his family and feels sad that his mother did not have the options his wife had.
"Have you talked to dad about any of this?" Fitz asks solemnly.
With an eerie calm, Maura looks at her son for a long while before responding.
"Fitzgerald, I have left your father."