Hertfordshire was home, but it was not Kent.
The joy of being reunited with her family and neighbors lightened Elizabeth's spirits, allowing her respite from her musings regarding a certain gentleman from Derbyshire. Her sisters' voices filled every single waking moment, and Mama's lamentations interspersed themselves throughout every conversation, regardless of whether she had been invited to do so or not.
The myriad distractions, however superficial, brought Elizabeth a small degree of fleeting comfort - although it was a comfort that did not take for long.
A few months in Kent, a few dozen morning walks, had managed to alter her entirely. The defiant optimism she had carried so proudly for years had been dented, bent by reality. There was no reason to hope that genteel country ladies could ever truly capture the hearts of eligible men. There was no cause to believe that marrying for love was ever a true possibility for women of her station.
She and her sisters would either have to settle for the Mr. Collinses of the world - or not to marry at all.
Elizabeth knew that she would boldly choose the latter fate. There was little doubt regarding that matter. And yet she worried that Jane - dear, fair, kindly Jane - would inevitably fall prey to the next conventional marriage proposal to rear its ugly head.
It was heart-wrenching to consider the possibility of losing her eldest sister to a tradesman or a country squire that would never deserve her.
It was a possibility Elizabeth feared more by the day.
An entire month after her return, when summer had been fully chased away by the sway of the autumn winds, a most unexpected announcement rang in Longbourn's halls.
"Mr. Charles Bingley, Miss Caroline Bingley," the servant declared, enlightening the occupants of the parlor regarding whom exactly the carriage they had heard belonged to.
Elizabeth heard Jane's quiet gasp before she felt her own emerging grin.
"Oh, Jane!" Mama declared, mere moments before their guests emerged through the door.
Elizabeth glanced eagerly at Jane, whose round, beautiful eyes seemed to quiver with joy and disbelief.
The ladies rose to their feet eventually, and pleasantries were exchanged with every due civility. It did not go unnoticed that, despite his kind manners requiring him to pay each lady in the house her dues, Mr. Bingley clearly had eyes only for Jane.
Mama, with seasoned ease, maneuvered everyone present into the most advantageous seating within moments; and Elizabeth, despite finding herself sharing a couch with Miss Bingley, hardly had the heart to complain.
"I hope you have been well, Miss Bennet," Mr. Bingley greeted the eldest sister with tempered enthusiasm, though the tremble in his voice was clear.
"We have been well," Jane answered beautifully, her sparkling smile brightening the entire room. Elizabeth smiled, her sisters smiled, and even Mama smiled.
Perhaps, the future did not look quite as bleak as she had feared.
The following fortnight passed quickly, every day in Longbourn highlighted by the Bingleys' visit. Every day, Mr. Bingley inched closer to a very apparent proposal. Every day, Elizabeth watched Miss Bingley frown for a shorter duration than the last.
Perhaps, by the time their siblings wed, the hardness could be gone entirely.
"They do look happy, don't they?" Miss Bingley stated one day, entirely unprompted, when the initial conversations had descended into hushed whispers between clusters of individuals throughout the parlor.
Elizabeth turned towards the lady beside her. "I - I did not know you approved, Miss Bingley."
The smile on the visitor's face was brief, but genuine enough.
"My brother and I have been - otherwise convinced."
Elizabeth nodded, rather blindly. "I was not aware of any outside forces regarding your decision to return to Hertfordshire."
Miss Bingley smirked, as if she could not decide to be resigned or bemused. "My brother is an uncomplicated creature. What he believes and feels, however strongly, can easily be presented to him in a different light. The fact that he still cares for Miss Bennet despite the separation is proof enough that perhaps there was always more to the nature of their connection."
Again, Elizabeth nodded vaguely. "I am - most happy to hear that he had come to such a conclusion."
Miss Bingley chuckled hollowly. "Not entirely by himself."
"No?"
"We have a friend - a man whom my brother defers to more greatly than he does his own sisters." Miss Bingley sighed. "He had been invited to join us the first time we came to Netherfield but had been inconvenienced by family matters. It was he who convinced my brother to resume his pursuit."
"I - I see." Elizabeth pondered the revelation. "I suppose we would be more than obliged to thank your friend on behalf of my sister."
"He would probably come for the wedding. Charles does regard him as a brother." Miss Bingley's smirk returned, her voice saying the word 'wedding' as if it were an unfortunate inevitability. "Your lot can thank Mr. Darcy then."
"I do not deserve such happiness." Jane sighed, eyes starry, as they laid out the initial items of her trousseau. A trip to London was in order for further procurement. One ought to take every advantage, after all, whenever Papa acceded to such an expense.
Elizabeth, for her part, smiled serenely at her sister.
"You do deserve it, Jane." She ran her fingers over the soft fabric Mama had given Jane upon the announcement of her engagement. "I can think of no one better suited for happiness than you."
The excitement over Jane's upcoming nuptials had successfully kept Mama's usual complaints at bay for the better of a month - before she resumed her outspoken worry over the matrimonial prospects of her four younger daughters.
The short respite had been welcome.
"I wish, Lizzy dear, that you had returned from Kent with similar hopes. I had thought Mr. Fitzwilliam would propose." Jane's voice carried the innocence that adulthood had never managed to shed. "He did seem frightfully friendly with you when he was here."
Elizabeth's responded with a half-hearted laugh.
She had decided, for a handful of reasons, to conceal from her family the fact that her eligible friend had ever proposed. There were moments when she had been tempted to tell Jane, or even Papa.
At the end of the day, the events in Kent had simply been far too painful to discuss.
"Mama mentioned that Aunt Philips has a nephew coming to visit. Do you think you may perhaps strike up a friendship with him?" Jane asked.
Elizabeth's grin felt pained. Jane, for all her considerate nature, had fallen rather quickly into the trap of yearning to pair off one's loved ones upon discovering happiness for herself. It had been difficult cooling both Mama's and Jane's enthusiasm whenever a neighbor so much as alluded to the existence of a single cousin or friend.
"I do not know if we would suit, Jane."
"But one cannot know until one makes a proper attempt at friendship."
"It is perhaps not good for people so closely related to make such alliances. One can hardly called Aunt Philips charitable."
"But perhaps her nephew is a much kinder man. Lizzy, you must at the very least - "
"Do not worry, Jane." Elizabeth laid a hand on her sister's. "Providence shall make its own plans for me."
Jane moved as if to pout slightly before relaxing into her usual self. Elizabeth sported her most assuring smile until her sister seemed to believe the confidence Elizabeth had pretended to own.
It was not faith, or fear, that prevented her from entertaining other suitors, after all.
It was, instead, almost a form of resignation - as she had come to accept that she could never sincerely welcome the romantic intentions of another man when her heart so decidedly belonged to a special man from Derbyshire.
Miss Bingley's words had caused Elizabeth to hope that Mr. Darcy had changed.
But even if he did - was she to expect that he harbored for her similar affections that she harbored for him? If the myriad emotions of their stolen kiss were as fleeting as they were strong for him, would his arrival for Mr. Bingley's wedding truly make any difference with regards to the matters between them?
"I only wish joy for you, Lizzy." Jane whispered, almost as if she had been chastised.
Elizabeth hugged her sister. "I know, Janie dear, I know."
A/N: Sorry for the lack of D&E interactions! We'll get there again eventually!