AN: ***WARNING*** This chapter contains a graphic sex scene. Skip if you are sensitive to this kind of content. Bujuman, Mona called Fitz about Marla's stroke because she did not want to upset Olivia. Remember, Fitz gave her his phone number when Olivia left for Mirage. Cleo, you can't go around beating up little kids. Deon is only five. :-)
Chapter 17. Make Someone Smile
Tears well up in the back of Olivia's eyes as she and Fitz slide onto the pew where Marla is usually sitting every Sunday waiting for them to arrive. She has sat on this row, on this same pew, with Marla Briggs ever since her parents moved to Africa to continue their missionary work. She sat on this same pew with Marla before she met Fitz, before she was married, and before she became a mother for the first time. She has shared so many wonderful moments with the woman she views as a second mother, and it pains her that Marla now lay in a hospital bed recovering after her stroke.
Trying to prevent the tears from falling, Olivia closes her eyes tightly and rests her right hand on the hard bench where Marla normally sits and thinks about how fragile life is, how things can change in a blink. A week ago today, Marla was sitting here slyly whispering the latest gossip to her. She could never figure out how the woman could look straight ahead, listen to Rev. Walker preach, and whisper the latest news without anyone being the wiser. Olivia shakes her head and smiles reminiscently when she thinks about how Rev. Walker always caught her whenever she tried the trick.
Fitz drapes his arm around his wife's shoulder and gives her a gentle squeeze. He knows Marla's illness has affected her deeply and is concerned that her emotional stress is heightening. Since returning from Mirage, he has been vigilant in monitoring her emotional stress. He does not want them to slip back into the past. After the service is over they stand in the hall chatting with Congressman Guilford and City Councilman Darius Moton. Everyone wants to know how Marla is doing.
"So how is Marla doing these days?" Congressman Guilford asks, looking at an obviously distraught Olivia.
She understands everyone is concerned about Marla, but she hates having to be the one to give people the same update over and over again.
"Things are still pretty rough going for her right now, Congressman", delivering her standard response.
"Well, tell her I asked about her the next time you visit with her."
Olivia gives the Congressman a weak smile and nods.
"Tell her that I'll stop by to see her when she is up to having visitors."
Olivia smiles again, trying to prevent the tears from falling. Fitz squeezes her hand gently.
"I hate to bring up a sensitive topic under the circumstances", Darius says cautiously, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one can hear him. "But the talk is beginning."
"The talk?" Fitz asks curiously.
"The Council members are talking about who will replace Marla. The vultures are beginning to circle."
"What do you mean?" Olivia asks in disbelief.
"Olivia, as distasteful the thought is, it is to be expected."
"Excuse me", rushing down the hall to the ladies' room.
"Fitz, I'm sorry to upset Olivia. I know how close she and Marla are, but these things have to be discussed."
"I understand, Darius", looking in the direction of the ladies' room.
"If a Council President is unable to fulfill their duties, the Charter requires the seat to be put on the ballot in the next general election, which is in November.
"I see", Fitz says solemnly, looking around for Olivia.
"You're going to want to get someone in that seat who will look out for the needs of the citizens, and not the special interests of their corporate friends", Congressman Guildford says.
"Exactly", Darius responds.
"We're going to have to move quickly. Like I said, the vultures are circling. We have six months before the election and we have to find someone soon."
"Excuse me gentlemen", Fitz says when he sees Olivia walking toward them holding Cena's hand.
"Daddy", stretching her arms and demanding her father pick her up.
"Are you all right?" Looking at his wife with concern as he picks up Cena.
"Let's go home, Fitz."
XXX
Olivia lay in the dark with a leg draped over her husband's waist and lets the tears roll down her face. Marla's illness has hit her really hard and she has been trying to hold it together for the past week, but seeing Marla's empty seat at church today and hearing Darius talking replacing her was too much.
"I'm so afraid - Fitz – so scared", her words are almost imperceptible.
"Shhh. You can't let yourself get worked up", cupping her face with his large hand.
"I don't want to unravel, not now. We're so close ..."
"Marla is going to get better. Maybe she won't be like she was, but she's going to make it."
"I feel like I'm always walking around holding my breath these days – waiting for the other shoe to drop", she says through the tears.
"Come here. Tell me what's wrong."
"Ever since Marla's stroke I've not been able to stop thinking about how fragile life is."
He nods, giving her the space to say what is on her mind."
"We have so little control over our lives, Fitz. We never know what is going to happen from one minute to the next."
"Tell me more", swiping the tears from her cheek with his thumb. And she hesitates a long while before sharing what has been plaguing for days.
"I don't want anything to happen to our family, Fitz", bursting out and crying uncontrollably.
"Oh, Livvie", now understanding what has been bothering her. "I'm fine. You're fine. Our family is fine. We're having another baby in a month, we're blessed."
"But we have no control over anything", she says frantically.
"Liv, we can't live our lives waiting for bad things to happen. We have to enjoy every moment that we have together. Okay?"
She nods.
"Do you want to talk to Dr. Brennan tomorrow? I'm sure he can move up our appointment for next week. Would you like that?"
She nods.
"I'll call him in the morning. Okay?" Caressing her face and kissing the tip of her nose.
She nods again.
"And Liv, I'm not going anywhere, not anytime soon", smiling in the dark.
"Promise?"
"I promise. Now let's get some sleep", wrapping his arm around her and kissing the top of her head.
XXX
When Olivia walks into the kitchen the next morning, Nora and Cena are already sitting at the island. Cena is rolling Biker Girl back and forth across the granite top and Nora is sitting on the stool with one leg bent and swiping her finger across the phone screen. Olivia looks at Nora and wonders if Nora is addicted to her cell phone.
"Good morning, Nora."
"Morning Liv, not looking up from her phone. Mom already left for work", frowning as she looks at the screen. "I'm glad somebody around her is excited about going to work."
Olivia looks at Nora and wonders if trouble is brewing between her and Marcella. But this morning she is too tired to really care or try to decipher Nora's cryptic comments. Besides, she promised Marcella she would not interfere in how she chooses to manage her sister-in-law.
"Good morning, Cee", kissing the little girl on the top of her curly head on her way to the cabinet to get Cena's favorite bowl.
"Good morning, mommy", continuing to push the toy across the granite top.
Olivia fills the bowl halfway with cereal and goes to the refrigerator to get the milk.
"I don't want cereal mommy. I want panny cakes."
"We don't have time for panny cakes this morning, Cee. Daddy and I have an appointment", walking over to her daughter and pouring milk over the colorful cereal.
"I don't want cereal", Cena screams, shoving the bowl and causing the milk to splatter as it slides across the island top.
Surprised by Cena's outburst, Nora jerks her head up from the phone and looks back and forth between Cena and Olivia. Taken aback by Cena's unprecedented outburst, Olivia looks at the little girl with her mouth and eyes wide open.
"Cena!" Fitz shouts as he walks into the kitchen, catching the tail end of his daughter's bad behavior. "Apologize to your mother his instant."
Cena pokes out her bottom lip and looks down as she twists her fingers. Her feelings are hurt because her daddy has hollered at her, something her never does. Nora squints, looking between Cena and Fitz to see if her niece is going to give her brother the same treatment she gave Olivia.
"I said apologize to your mother - now", he says more sternly.
Cena raises her head and looks at her mother who is still looking at her daughter with her mouth hanging open.
"I'm sorry, mommy", Cena says softly, then looks down at her fingers again.
Studying her daughter closely, Olivia furrows her brow and nods slowly. Intrigued by the whole scene, Nora smiles when she sees the pain etched on her brother's face because he had to reprimand his little Princess.
"Now eat your cereal so we can get going", Fitz says in a softer tone.
Cena slides the bowl across the the granite, lifts her spoon, and slowly eats the cold cereal. Fitz runs his hand through his hair and exhales, wondering what has gotten into his little girl this morning. He swipes his thumb across Olivia's cheek and takes the carton of milk from her hand.
"Sit down Liv", kissing her on the temple.
Fitz sets the carton of milk on the top shelf in the refrigerator and pinches the bridge of his nose as he pours his first cup of morning coffee. With the hot cup of coffee in one hand, he pats the top Cena's mop of curly hair with the other hand, as he sits next to his wife. He covers her hand with his and rubs it gently, and Nora looks at the two wondering what the heck is going on.
"Don't you have to work today?" Fitz asks, looking at his sister.
"I'm on my way now", jumping from the stool and leaving the kitchen as quickly as possible.
XXX
With his legs crossed, Fitz holds Olivia's hand on his thigh as they sit on the couch of their therapist, Dr. Nelson Brennan. They have been meeting weekly with Dr. Brennan for the past four months to continue the wonderful work they started with Avril. Although Dr. Brennan's methods are more orthodox than Avril's, Olivia and Fitz think he is the perfect person to support them.
Once settled into his well-worn, leather wing-back chair, Dr. Brennan balances his yellow legal pad on one knee as he puts on his round, wire-framed eyeglasses. Olivia smiles slightly because the man performs the same ritual each time they meet.
"Olivia – Fitz", smiling kindly at the obviously anxious couple. "What can I do for you this morning?"
Fitz squeezes Olivia's hand, encouraging her to speak.
"Well", beginning shakily. "I've been feeling a little anxious lately."
Dr. Brennan nods for her to continue.
"Well, a little over a week ago my dear friend and mentor – actually she's more like a second mother to me."
Dr. Brennan smiles and Olivia realizes she is rambling, so she takes a few deep, cleansing breaths to calm her nerves before continuing.
"Well, she had a stroke and I've been visiting her every day – sometimes twice a day – since it happened."
Dr. Brennan nods.
"I'm the closest person she has to a real family …"
She hesitates before sharing something that has been troubling her for the past week. She does not know if what she has been feeling will make her appear to be disloyal and insensitive, but she has to let it out. Fitz watches as she wrings her hands and thinks about his encounter with Cena this morning.
"Continue Olivia", Dr. Brennan urges her kindly.
"Well, honestly it is quite difficult for me to see her laying in that hospital bed connected to all of those wires ..."
Dr. Brennan nods.
"She was – is – such an elegant woman", looking up at Fitz for affirmation, who smiles and nods in agreement.
"She was so eloquent. When she spoke, people definitely listened. With the aphasia – well I just cannot imagine not hearing her wonderful voice again."
Dr. Brennan nods as he scribbles something on the pad.
"I guess I just got anxious last night. I let my thoughts run wild with all of the what-ifs", she says shakily, now twisting her wedding set.
"Well it's good that you talked to Fitz about your fears and that you came in today. Now, tell me about the what-ifs that have been going through your mind."
"Since Marla's stroke, thoughts of something bad happening to Fitz have been overpowering and pervasive. They intrude where and when they are not welcome. I think about and wonder how I would retain my sanity, if not my will to live, if something ever happened to him."
Fitz rubs her thigh reassuringly.
"I always marvel at people who have lost a loved one suddenly, like in a car accident, and wonder how they can still go on with their day to day activities – going shopping, paying bills, working at a job, watching a movie, hell, even having fun sometimes. I know that wouldn't be me and I obsess over how I might react if …"
Dr. Brennan nods for her to continue.
"I've been so haunted by the possibility of getting that life-changing phone call that it paralyzes me some days to the point that I can hardly breathe."
Fitz looks at her in shock and raises her hand to his lips. He knew she was having difficulty dealing with Marla's illness, but he had no idea the extent to which she has been suffering. Dr. Brennan nods again and pushes his eyeglasses up his nose.
"Olivia, when a person experiences a traumatic event, sometimes they begin to think about the what-ifs, as you put it. These thoughts can invade their mind long after the event has passed. One day, when everything is going well, when they're feeling hopeful and experiencing periods of peace or success, the feelings can be intruded upon by an anticipation of unfavorable situations."
Olivia looks at him intently, trying to understand what he is saying.
"Many of us mistakenly assume that we need to brace ourselves for the impact of sad events. So we don't let ourselves feel positive emotions for too long. Many of us start to worry when things are too good. We worry that the good things won't last, that everything will fall apart any minute. Our brains start churning out "what-ifs. And after a while, you have a hard time finding any enjoyment in life.
Olivia nods.
"Nobody likes to be caught off guard, Olivia. Marla's unexpected illness caught you off guard and triggered old feelings of insecurity."
Olivia nods slowly, thinking about Dr. Brennan's statement.
"And now you're panicking, wondering what else might happen. And, quite naturally you're going to worry if something might happen to those closest to you. In this case, your husband, Fitz."
Olivia nods again and Fitz rubs her thigh.
"And now the anxiety has begun to wear you down."
She nods.
"Olivia, you must accept that good and bad both happen within the span of every human being's life. The Chinese have a saying that "Some people eat bitter." And it's true. In life, some people get more than their fair share of sorrow and deep hurts. But just about all human beings also have the opportunity to experience goodness in their lives, even if they've been dealt an unfair hand of dark times."
Olivia nods.
"Olivia, you don't have to live your life waiting for the bad things to happen. You have a great deal of control over your life - control and choice over where you invest your time and attention. While it is normal to worry sometimes, you should spend your time thinking about all of the positive things in your life. Think about all of the gifts you have: your husband, your daughter, and another child on the way. Being able to look for the good in life is an attitude and a gift that all of us can cultivate in our lives."
She nods.
"Embrace the good times and live life to the fullest. When the good times come, welcome them with open arms. Embrace the joys that come with the laughter and love of friends and family. Cultivate relationships so that you have people to lean on in the good times and in the darker times."
They both nod.
"And, on those days when you don't think you have much to be thankful for, take the opportunity to make someone else smile and enjoy that moment. Make someone smile today and see if that doesn't improve your outlook a little."
She nods
"And Olivia, it does not make you a bad person or disloyal if you don't have the energy to visit your friend every day. It's difficult to see our loved ones in such a state. Give yourself a break. Don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe go a couple of days a week instead of every day. I'm sure your mother-like figure would tell you the same thing, especially when you are so close to bringing a new life into the world."
Olivia is beginning to feel much better.
"Do either of you have any questions for me?"
They look at each other and smile.
"Good. Now go and make someone smile today."
XXX
As Fitz pulls away from the parking garage at the medical arts building, Olivia is feeling more relieved after their session with Dr. Brennan. She realizes she needs to live in the present and not hold her breath waiting for the worst to happen.
"Let's go get Cee from school. She's having a tough time right now trying to deal with the baby."
"I won't allow her to be rude to you, Liv."
"I know. You were right to reprimand her, but she doesn't know how to handle these new feelings, so she's lashing out. We have to help her, Fitz."
He nods.
"Let's go make Cena smile", and he looks at her curiously. "Call Headmaster Frankel and let him know we're coming to get our daughter."
XXX
As Fitz and Olivia walk hand in hand down the halls of the Lower School of the prestigious Waldren Preparatory Academy, they see their daughter sitting on the bench outside of the Headmaster's office. She is looking down sadly at her hands as she kicks her feet back and forth. Cena has heard from some of the older children, the first graders, that if you sit on the bench outside of the Headmaster's office then you are in big trouble.
"Biker Princess", Fitz calls out just above a whisper and Cena looks up from twisting her fingers and the biggest smile spread across her face. She takes off running down the hall and jumps into her father's arms.
"Daddy, daddy."
And he swoops her up and swings her around and around, causing Cena to squeal with joy.
"How's my Princess?"
"I was sitting on the bench because Miss Kirk brought me here and the big kids say you sit on the bench when you're in trouble", she says in one breath.
"You're not in trouble, sweetheart", kissing the excited little girl on the cheek. "Mommy and I just wanted to spend some time with our favorite girl."
"How would you like to go to the park? Would you like that?" Olivia asks, smiling at her happy daughter.
"Yay. Mommy, can I feed the ducks and have ice cream too?"
"You sure can. We better get going because I'm sure those ducks are pretty hungry by now."
"Yay", clapping her hands and bouncing happily in her father's arms.
XXX
After feeding the ducks and eating ice cream, the Grants walk over to the bench and Fitz sets Cena on his lap. They had a rough time this morning and he wants to reassure her that she is still his Princess.
"Cee, I'm sorry that I yelled at you this morning. Okay?"
She pokes out her bottom lip and looks down at her fingers.
"Did I hurt your feelings?"
She nods sadly, still twisting her fingers.
"I'm so sorry", kissing her on the cheek. "Daddy never wants to hurt your feelings. I never, ever want you to be sad. Okay?"
She nods.
"Can you forgive daddy for yelling?"
With the biggest smile, she nods her head vigorously.
"Pucker daddy", cupping his face with her little hands.
"Can mommy have a kiss too?" Smiling at her happy daughter.
"Pucker mommy." And Olivia gives her smiling daughter a big, smushy kiss.
"May I play on the swings now?"
"In a minute", wrapping his arm around her waist, stopping her from rushing off to the swings. "Mommy and I want to talk to you about the baby. Okay?"
Cena nods her head slowly, not quite sure what to expect.
"Well Cee", Olivia begins. "Remember when I told you when the baby comes home the baby will be so tiny and won't be able to do anything?"
Cena places a finger on her chin trying to remember everything her mother told her.
"I said when the baby comes home from the hospital, the only thing the baby is going to do is sleep, eat, cry, and poop."
Cena throws her head back and shakes with laughter.
"Daddy, mommy said poop", covering her mouth as she laughs.
"Mommy said poop?" He feigns surprise.
"Daddy, you said poop too", laughing louder.
"Poop, poop, poop", Fitz says and Cena laughs hysterically.
"And remember Cee, since you are mommy's special big girl, I'm going to give you job so you can help me with the baby."
"Really? A job like Aunt Nora's?" Her eyes growing wide.
"Well, not quite like Aunt Nora's job. Your job will be let me know when the baby cries if daddy and I are not in the room. Can you do that?"
Cena shakes her head excitedly.
"And Cee", Fitz says, looking into his daughter's happy face. "Mommy and I are going to need you to help us pick out a couple stuffed animals for the baby. Can you help us with that?"
"I know the best stuffed animals, daddy. Can I get one too?"
"You can get whatever you want, Biker Princess."
"And Cee, you're going to have to show us where to put them in the baby's nursery – where the baby is going to sleep."
"The baby's not going to take my bed?" She asks tilting her head to the side and looking confused. "Deon said I'm going to sleep on the floor when the baby comes."
Fitz rolls his eyes at the mention of Deon's latest misinformation and Olivia chuckles.
"No sweetheart, you won't have to sleep on the floor. You will keep your room and the baby will sleep in the nursery."
Satisfied with the answer, Cena is done with all of the talk about the baby and is ready to go play.
"Okay. Can I go play on the swings now?" Sliding off of her father's lap.
"Do you want me to push you?" Fitz asks eagerly, beginning to stand.
"Daddy, I don't need a push any more. I'm a big girl", taking off running in the direction of the swings.
"Don't fret babe", chuckling at the look of dejection on her husband's face. "You can push me whenever you want."
"Do you think she is going to be all right?" He asks with concern. "She was so upset this morning."
"We have to keep watching her and talking to her, keep her involved in things we do for the baby. We have to be her Dr. Brennan", nudging him in the side with her elbow.
"Are you feeling better after talking to him?"
"I am. I just let my mind start to race in all directions."
He nods and they sit in silence watching Cena swing higher and higher.
"We need to get that house in the mountains we talked about, Liv. I want you to have a place to get away to when everything becomes too much. We need a place for the two of us. Our home has become a bit crowded and we don't have a lot of space for privacy any more."
"Babe, I can't think about looking for another house right now", rubbing her stomach.
"You don't have to, I'll get Joan on it. She knows what we like. She can send us some listings – they have videos now – and we can look at them together."
She nods, resting her other hand on his thigh.
"Hopefully Joan can find something within the next few months."
"That's sounds pretty aggressive, babe."
"We'll see", looking at his daughter running over to the sliding board.
XXX
Maura sits at the conference room table anxiously waiting for Olivia and Mona to arrive. Today she presents her ideas for the training program's curriculum. She has done a lot of homework over the past week to prepare for this meeting. She has read the stack of binders on community service that Mona gave her. She has reviewed Olivia's requirements for the program, several times. She has researched the elements of an effective adult learning program and has begun to learn more about the discipline called instructional design. It is rewarding to know that, for the most part, she has been doing things right at the church all of these years without any formal training in instructional design.
She has been coming to work early and staying late preparing for what feels like the biggest day of her new career, of her new life. She does not want to disappoint Olivia, but more importantly, she does not want to embarrass herself. So, she reviews her notes again and looks at the hand-outs she prepared for Olivia and Mona. As she begins to read the draft of the curriculum for the half-dozen time, she hears Olivia enter the room.
"Good morning Olivia", she says nervously. "How are you today?"
"I'm fine, Maura. We live in the same house but it seems like I hardly see you anymore."
"Well, I've been putting in a few extra hours to prepare for our meeting today."
"Don't stress yourself out too much, Maura. No one expects you to become an expert overnight. Give it some time."
Maura bites her bottom lip and shuffles the papers around on the table. Olivia notices how nervous Maura seems to be about her upcoming presentation, so she shifts the conversation to her mother-in-law's favorite topic, her grand-children.
"Fitz and I are going to take Cena to John and Abby's so she can see Ethan. We want her to see what it's like to have a baby in the house."
"Ethan is getting so big. I was over there last week", Maura gushes.
"He is. I just love squeezing his chubby cheeks."
"Is Cena having difficulty with the idea of sharing mommy and daddy with her new brother or sister?"
"Well, Fitz and I haven't done the best job of preparing her for the baby, but we think she is doing better now. We'll just have to keep our eyes on her."
"That will pass in time, Olivia. John was jealous of Fitzgerald when he came along."
"He was? How did you and Gerry handle it?"
"You mean how did I handle it? Gerry never got involved in that sort of thing."
"I'm sorry, Maura. I didn't mean to –"
"No worries, Olivia. That was a long time ago. To answer your question, John is a few years older than Fitzgerald so he got over his jealousy of his baby brother rather quickly. Once he saw that Fitzgerald was not a threat, he fine to fill his time playing with his friends. He ignored Fitzgerald for the most part."
The two women laugh out loud until they hear the unmistakable sound of Mona's ink pen tapping on the door frame.
"Are you ready for me?" Mona asks, looking at the two laughing women.
"Come on in, Mona. Maura is ready to present her proposal."
Maura rubs the back of her neck as Mona slides onto her chair and sets her purse on the table.
"Well, it's not really a formal proposal", Maura says, wanting to manage their expectations. "It's just some ideas I've put on paper after reading through the binders Mona gave me and reviewing your requirements, Olivia. Oh, I also did some research online."
"You're going to do fine Maura", Mona says, trying to reassure the nervous woman.
Maura smiles and begins her presentation.
"Well, like I said, I read all of your materials, Mona, and your requirements, Olivia. I even researched online information about developing a training program for adults. The internet has a wealth of information on the topic. The official term is instructional design", she says proudly.
Olivia and Mona smile at the woman, both thinking this is going to be a long meeting.
"Did you know there is a difference in how adults learn and how adolescents learn?" Looking at Olivia and Mona excitedly.
"I had no idea", Mona says, smiling politely.
"Well there is. Unlike adolescent learning, which focuses on mastering facts and assimilating information, adult learning focuses on applying facts and turning information into action. Adults have already developed cognitive frameworks through life experiences, and they are interested in learning how new ideas will help them get what they want rather than simply accumulating more knowledge."
"Wow, that all sounds very interesting, Maura. So what does your curriculum look like?" Olivia asks, trying to move the presentation along.
Mona hands Olivia and Mona a copy of her ideas for the curriculum.
"Based on everything I read, and everything we discussed, of course", clasping her hands tightly in front of her, "I have created this curriculum. Mind you, it's only a draft."
Olivia and Mona nod as they read the document.
"This is terrific Maura", Olivia says as she continues to scan the document.
"You've done all of this in just over a week?" Mona asks.
"Mind you, it's still a draft", Maura says, trying to restrain her enthusiasm.
"Well, I think you've captured everything we discussed."
"And then some", Mona says.
Maura smiles brightly.
"I still have to develop all of the courses for each topic, of course."
"Of course", Mona says.
"So what do you think about the Speakers Series? I know it wasn't part of your requirements Olivia, but I learned online that it's a good way for the community organizers to gain critical insights from experts in various fields."
"It sounds like a terrific idea. I just don't know where we're going to get the speakers", Olivia says.
"I've already thought about", Maura says excitedly. "I think Fitzgerald could be our first speaker. He can talk about leadership, communication, negotiation – well all sorts of things", she says enthusiastically.
Olivia chuckles to herself, thinking Fitz is really going to enjoy hearing about this. As the meeting comes to a close, they hear the conference room door seemingly being ripped from its hinges. The three women look up in surprise as Charlie barges into the room. Maura gasps, jumps from her seat and inches closer to her desk.
"I need to talk to you Olivia", Charlie demands as his chest heaves up and down like a bull ready to charge.
"We're in a meeting, Charlie. So you need to leave – now." Olivia glares at him.
"I'm not going any damn place until you tell me why I didn't get the Springfield Heights contract."
"Your Letter of Explanation is in the mail", standing from her chair and placing a hand on her wide hip. Charlie glares at her protruding stomach, thinking she looks like she is ready to explode.
"I don't want to read no goddamn letter. I want you to tell me why you screwed me."
"Screwed you?" She says in disbelief.
"I needed that contract, Olivia."
"Your needs are no concern of mine. I chose the better man", smirking slightly as she rubs her stomach.
"You bitch", taking a step toward her.
"Touch her and you die", Mona says, reaching into her purse.
Charlie stops in his tracks and looks at Mona, who has a hand stuffed into her purse. He eyes Mona for a moment then takes a couple of steps back toward the door. He has heard stories about how badass Mona used to be back in the day, before she found God.
"You're gonna pay for crossing me, Olivia."
"The police are on their way. I called the police", Maura says in a high-pitched voice.
"And who the fuck are you?" Glaring with contempt at the frightened woman.
"I'm Olivia's mother-in-law", Maura says shakily.
Charlie frowns at the woman and nods repeatedly. He knows he had better leave before the police arrives.
"You're gonna pay for this shit", glaring at Olivia before storming out of the conference room.
"Are you all right, Olivia?" Maura asks, rushing over to her shaken daughter-in-law. "Should I call Fitzgerald?"
"No, no", waving off Maura as she slowly lowers her body in the seat. "I'm fine."
"Drink this Olivia", Mona says, giving Olivia a glass of water.
"Who was that horrible man?" Maura asks, sipping her tea to steady her nerves.
"Mona, don't tell me you have what I think you have in your purse." Olivia looks at her office manager with a raised eyebrow.
"OK, I won't tell you", Mona says with a smile and Maura clutches her pearls.
XXX
For the past few days Nora has managed to arrive to work on time, albeit it is difficult since she still enjoys the nightlife. As she walks down the hall to get her assignment for the day from Marcella, she sees Amir in the community room painting something on one of the drab tan walls. She wonders what he is doing as she approaches the Wicked Witch's office. Nora chuckles to herself thinking Marcella would strangle her if she knew about her nickname.
"Hello Marcella, I'm here and on time", cocking her head to the side and staring at Marcella.
"You don't get brownie points for being on time. Getting to work on time is what adults do."
Nora rolls her eyes because every day she and Marcella must have a verbal battle before she can get her assignment.
"Do you always have to be so rude?"
"Rude?" Glaring at Nora. "If you call expecting a grown woman to come to work on time being rude, then call me rude."
Nora rolls her eyes.
"I'm not your family – your mommy or daddy – so don't expect me to baby you. I don't even coddle the children that come here. So, if you're ready to work, go out back and sand all of that old paint off the picnic tables and benches. I want them painted for the children's party next week."
"What?" Nora asks with indignation.
"Everything you need is in a bucket sitting on one of the tables."
Nora starts to storm from the office in a huff, only to be stopped by Marcella's final directive.
"And Nora, this is your project. Don't try to get Amir to help you", folding her arms across her buxom chest.
"I hate it here", Nora mumbles under her breath but Marcella hears her.
"If you don't like it here you can always go back home", smirking deviously.
Red-faced, Nora turns around, and shoots daggers at the smug woman. Marcella's words seem to have a double meaning. She wonders if Olivia told Marcella that Fitz was going to send her back to Gerry's house if she did not get a job. She gives the smirking Marcella one last look before stomping from the office.
As Nora stands in the doorway that leads to the small playground, she looks around the space and wonders who would want to play out here. She runs her hand through her hair when she sees the two sets of wooden picnic tables and benches. The table sets are warped with peeling paint from years of exposure to the weather. They all appear to have four or five layers of paint that have been applied over the years to conceal the damage.
She walks over to the table holding the bucket of supplies and looks around the space for an automatic hand sander. She groans because all she sees in the bucket are a pair of work gloves and a few sheets of sand paper. She looks at both sets and thinks manually sanding these sets will take the rest of her life. She yanks on the over-sized gloves, grabs a piece of sand paper, and gets to work.
After several hours of working, Nora finally finishes sanding the last section of one of the tables and she is ready for a break. Standing from her knees, she wipes the sweat from her face with the back of her hand and tosses the sand paper and gloves back into the bucket. She looks over at the other old table and benches and groans.
"I hate this place", she says before going inside to get some water.
When she walks into the community room to refill her water bottle at the water cooler, she sees Amir drawing something on the wall she saw him painting earlier.
"I didn't know you were an artist", walking over and standing next to him and looking at the wall.
"I draw a little bit", he says jokingly.
"So what are you drawing?"
"I want to put a mural on these walls – cover up these ugly tan walls with some bright colors. I want the kids to really like coming to the Center. Since I had a little extra cash leftover after paying my bills, I decided to by some paint."
"You used your own money?" Nora asks in surprise.
"I did. The kids deserve better."
"Where did you study art?"
He looks at her as if she has two heads.
"Study? I didn't go to no fancy art school", smiling and trying to mask the regret. "This is all raw talent."
Nora nods, admiring how his muscles flex with each movement of his arm. She looks at dreadlocks and wonders what they would feel like between her fingers.
"So, Marcella has you preparing those old tables and benches to be painted?"
"Marcella hates me. Where is she by the way?"
"She's still in her office."
"I see. Do you want some help?" Looking at him and smiling.
"Help?" He asks in surprise. "Don't you have enough to do cleaning up those old tables out back?"
"I already finished sanding one set. I'll do the other set tomorrow. Besides, I'm an artist – majored in Fine Arts."
"Really?" Amir says in surprise.
"Really. So what do you need me to do?"
Amir walks over to the table and unfurls his rendering of the mural he plans to paint on the wall.
"Wow, this looks terrific. You're really talented, Amir", looking down at the drawing. I want to help you do this. Okay?"
Not sure if Nora can handle the job, Amir looks at her for a while.
"Come on. Let me help you. It'll be faster."
"OK", handing Nora a paint brush.
XXX
After Charlie's surprise interruption, Olivia decided to leave the office early and visit Marla at the hospital, which is still difficult for her to do. As she leans against the wall outside of Marla's hospital room, she rests a hand on her stomach and closes her eyes. Although Dr. Brennan recommended she curtail her hospital visits because they leave her anxious and exhausted, she refuses to stop visiting her friend. Marla does not have anyone so she pushes herself to visit her every day. Fitz comes with her sometimes, but she would rather spend time alone with Marla reminiscing about their times together and reading Marla's favorite Bible passages. Periodically, Marla squeezes Olivia's hand, which reinforces her commitment to visit while she still can.
"Olivia?"
Olivia wipes the tears from her face with the back of her hand and smiles when she sees Darius walking toward her.
"Olivia, is everything all right? Rushing over to his friend. "Is Marla?"
"Marla is fine, Darius. Well she is stable."
"Thank God. Let's go to the waiting room and sit down. You look like you're ready to faint."
"I'm fine, Darius."
"Well you're going to sit down any way. I don't want your husband coming after my head if something happened you."
Darius guides Olivia to the waiting room and helps her to sit onto one of the more comfortable chairs. He sits in the chair next to her and smiles sympathetically. Since he has two children he has an idea how miserable she probably is at this late stage of her pregnancy.
"Can I get you something to drink, Olivia?" Darius asks with concern.
"No, thank you Darius", knowing fluids are the last thing she needs right now.
Darius nods.
"So how is Marla coming along?"
Olivia sighs and rests her hand on her stomach.
"I just can't believe this has happened to her, Darius. She's always been so vibrant. It's really hard seeing her like this."
Darius nods and squeezes Olivia's hand gently.
"The doctors say her recovery will take months – if not longer. They don't know the extent to which she will recover. A full recovery is not likely", shaking her head sadly.
Darius shakes his head.
"The doctors want to stabilize her blood pressure and diabetes before they start rehab."
"I didn't know Marla had high blood pressure and is a diabetic", running his hands down the sides of his face.
"Neither did I", Olivia says sadly. "She has always been a private person."
"That is true", Darius says, reflecting on his friendship with the President of City Council over the years.
"She's facing months of physical, speech, and occupational therapy."
"She's going to be fine, Olivia. It's just going to take some time. You know Marla is a fighter."
"She is Darius, but she's going to be different, not her old self at all."
Darius pats Olivia on the the arm reassuringly, and they sit in silence for a few minutes before Darius speaks.
"Have you thought as out what we discussed at church?"
"Darius, I don't want to discuss that right now – not here", her eyes darting around the room
"I know it's an unpleasant thought, and no one can ever really replace Marla, but the countdown has begun, Olivia. The clock is ticking. If we don't nominate someone –"
"Darius, please", putting her hands up, signaling him to stop him from talking.
"No Olivia. Everybody is talking. The sharks smell blood. Marla would want us to do what's best for this city", looking into her eyes.
She looks at him realizing what he is saying. It is highly unlikely Marla will be able to resume her position as President of City Council within the next six months. If the wrong person is elected, all of Marla's hard work could be undone.
"There isn't anything that I can do, Darius. I don't have any sway with the Council."
"There is something you can do", leaning forward and staring intently into her eyes.
XXX
For the first time since Olivia volunteered her to work at the Center, Nora is excited about going to work. She is thrilled that she will be doing something more than scrubbing floors and toilets. She smiles as she sips her coffee, thinking how rewarding it will be to help Amir create the mural. Yesterday was the first time she thought about painting in a long time.
"My, my. Aren't you up early this morning", Maura says to her daughter as she walks into the kitchen.
"Good morning, mom. Good-bye mom", pecking her mother on the cheek before grabbing her leather satchel and rushing from the kitchen. Maura looks at her daughter and wonders what has her so happy this morning.
When Nora slides from her car, she grabs the satchel from the passenger seat and bounces into the Center toward Marcella's office.
"Good morning, Marcella", she says cheerily.
Marcella looks up at the unusually happy woman and wonders what has her in such a good mood this morning."
"Good morning, Nora. You're here early today", eyeing the woman suspiciously.
"Well, I wanted to get an early start sanding the other table and benches today. I plan to put the first coat of paint on both sets before the end of the day."
"That sounds good. It's going to be another hot day so don't forget to drink lots of water. I don't want you to have a heat stroke."
Nora smiles and holds up her water bottle.
"I have plenty of water", shaking her water bottle. "Have a good day, Marcella", almost skipping from the office.
Marcella looks at the all too eager woman and wonders what is in the satchel she is carrying. Several hours later, Marcella locks her office door, walks down the hall, and stops abruptly when she hears laughter coming from the community room. She cannot believe her eyes when she sees Amir and Nora on ladders painting and laughing as if there were old friends. After surveying the scene for a few moments, she clears her throat to make her presence known to the laughing painters. Amir and Nora turn around at the same time and look at Marcella, whose frame is filling the doorway.
"Marcella, are you leaving now?" Amir asks through his laughter.
"What's going on in here?"
"I'm – we're painting that mural I told you about."
"And I'm helping him", Nora says happily. "And before you ask, yes, I finished painting the tables and benches. You can go check if you like."
Marcella looks at the two and nods slowly.
"Amir, don't forget to lock up when you leave tonight", not liking what she is seeing.
"Got it. See you tomorrow, Marcella", Amir yells as Marcella turns to walk from the room.
"Have a good night, Marcella", Nora says happily.
After a few hours of painting the first section of the mural, Amir says it is time to call it quits for the night.
"Let's clean this stuff up and we can work on it again tomorrow", looking up at the progress they made tonight.
"It's coming along nicely", Nora says, admiring their work.
"Well, thanks to the Fine Arts major, it's moving along faster than if I were doing it by myself."
"I haven't painted anything in so long. I forgot how good I feel when I paint."
"Why haven't you been painting?" Amir asks while rolling up the paint-splattered tarp.
"Let's just say I've had a lot going on in my life", carrying the brushes to the bathroom to wash the paint from them.
Amir folds the two ladders and carries them down the hall and places them in the small storage closet then walks to the bathroom.
"Well, I'm going to wash this paint from my hands, so you can get going. I'll lock up."
Nora eyes the splatters of yellow paint covering the back of his shoulder and looks at him and smiles.
"You have paint on your back, let me wash it off for you", taking the towel from his hand.
"That's okay, I'm going to shower when I get home anyway", oblivious to her tactics.
"Well, I can't let you walk down the streets covered in paint", smiling seductively. "Besides, I want to."
He looks at her for a moment and sees that familiar look women sometimes give him. The look that says she wants to fuck him, and that makes him uncomfortable. She sees his hesitation and presses a little harder.
"I promise I won't hurt you – unless you want me to", smirking at him and licking her lips.
Amir inhales deeply and nods. Nora slides his paint-covered tank top down to his waist and licks her lips again. She has been checking him out ever since she started working at the Center, wondering what he would taste like, what he would feel like. She walks behind him and begins to rub the soapy, rough terry cloth across his shoulder, and he tenses immediately.
"Relax, Amir."
He nods.
"You're such a messy painter, Amir", dragging the towel slowly up and down his spine. "Am I going to have to wash you every night?" She slides her hand around his narrow waist and kisses and licks down his chiseled back.
"Nora, what are you doing?"
"I told you, I want to clean you up", running her tongue down his back, savoring the saltiness of his sweat. "Would you like that?"
"Nora. We shouldn't", he says huskily.
"Shhh", dropping the towel to the floor.
She slides her hand into his sweatpants and fondles him gently. Amir closes his eyes and rolls his neck from side to side, reveling in the feeling of her soft hands stroking him, squeezing him. It has been a while since he has been with a woman and he does not want to disappoint her. So he turns around and kisses her passionately and she opens her mouth wide, wanting to taste his tongue.
"Lift your arms", pulling her top over her head, confirming what he has been thinking all day, she is not wearing a bra. He captures a pink nipple in his mouth and she moans in pleasure. He slides down her pants and panties in one swoop and she steps out of them, kicking them across the floor. He reaches between her legs and strokes her wetness and she grinds on his calloused hand.
"Slow down. Slow down", he whispers, sucking hard on the other nipple.
She nods, kissing him hard, running her tongue around the interior of his mouth. She kisses down his chest, to his taut abs, circling her tongue in his navel. As she squats in front of him, she hopes she does not have to suck him all night to get him hard. She is tired of having to do that to most of the guys she meets. She licks her lips when he springs from his boxers, thinking it is not a myth after all. Amir is well endowed and his balls hang heavy like a bull's, and she wants to taste every inch of them.
"I want to suck every inch of you, Amir", gently cupping and squeezing his balls. She tilts her and runs her tongue around the hard stones, tasting the same salty sweat that drenched his back. She sucks his nuts harder and he falls back against the sink, writhing in pleasure.
"Mmm", she moans. "You taste so good – so, so good. I can suck you forever."
Amir runs his fingers through her hair as she takes her time savoring his balls. He is in heaven, stroking his leaking dick as she suckles his balls.
"I want to taste it Amir",
Mesmerized by the swollen head, she runs the tip of her tongue up and down his slit, lapping up his salty juices. He is bigger than any man she has ever been with and she needs to suck it. She grabs his ass and pulls him close. And he wraps his hand in her hair and yanks back her head.
"Open your mouth."
Amir thrusts his fully erect dick into her mouth, completely filling the cavity, and she gags.
"Suck me, Nora. Make me cum."
After adjusting to his fullness, she glides her wet mouth up and down his hardness. Bobbing her head up and down, she moans as she sucks him with ferocity. Enjoying the feeling of the bulging veins against the soft flesh of her mouth, she traces each vein with the tip of her tongue and Amir moans in pleasure.
"Keep sucking it like that, Nora. Just like that."
Nora smiles to herself, happy that he has not cum yet, happy that he can take it. He pushes deeper into her mouth and she bobs her head up and down like one of those bobble head dolls.
"Sit on the sink", he mutters in desire. "I want to fuck you."
Anticipating feeling that big dick deep inside of her, she crawls from her knees and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. She smiles as she climbs onto the cold porcelain sink and spread her legs wide, letting her legs dangle at the sides of the sink. She kisses him again and runs her hand through his dreadlocks. He sucks licks and sucks and squeezes her breasts hard and she loves the pain.
"Bite them. Bite them hard", she begs.
And he bites down hard on her nipple and she howls from the pleasurable pain.
"Oh, God. That feels so good", her essence now dripping down her inner thigh.
She runs a finger up the crack of his ass, brings it to her mouth, and sucks. He tastes amazing, sweaty and musky. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she pulls him close. She needs to feel the pain.
"Fuck me, Amir", sucking his residue from her finger.
Holding his throbbing dick in his hand, he rubs the head up and down her clitoris, then rams her hard and deep, taking her breath away.
"Oh God", she gasps.
He looks into her eyes and she smiles mischievously.
"Fuck me hard", loving that he fills her completely.
And he pumps slowly, savoring the feeling of finally having flesh-to-flesh contact with a woman, a feeling he has not had in a long time. Face contorted with pain and pleasure, he looks down, watching his dick slide in and out, thinking this is so much better than his hand. With sweat dripping from his forehead, he snorts like an animal with each thrust as sweat rolls from his arms, onto her thigh, and down the crack of her ass. He pushes her back against the hard chrome faucet and thrusts harder. And with each thrust, the faucet presses deeper into her back, and she smiles because the pain feels wonderful.
"Harder, Amir."
He slides her closer and and thrusts in and out. And with each thrust, his coarse dreadlocks brush against her stomach and the sensation almost sends her over the edge.
"Harder. Harder", lifting her ass from the white porcelain until she feels him in her stomach. "I need you to hurt me."
And he jams into her harder and deeper, digging his fingernails into her hips until he breaks the skin. And the pain feels amazing, almost making her cum.
"You hurt me so good, Amir. Your dick feels so good. Oh god, so good."
This coupling has nothing to do with love. This coupling has nothing to do with emotions. This coupling has nothing to do with rational thought. It has to do with two strangers trying to heal through raw, unadulterated sex.
Nora rubs her clitoris up and down his slippery dick and with another deep thrust he hits her spot and she screams out loud. Her screams vibrate against the cold tile and porcelain as she collapses back against the sink handles. The biggest grin spread across her face because she is tingling in places she never knew existed. She lay limp against the faucet, licking her lips, fully satisfied, and thinking she has finally found her match. Amir was able to hurt her the way she likes and last as long as she likes.
Amir grabs her around the waist and thrusts and thrusts. Yanking her head back, he jams her harder. The more he thrusts the harder he gets. He wants to come, needs to come. It's been too long. It always takes so long.
Nora is getting raw and the pain caused by the friction feels heavenly, giving her the high she loves. And Amir continues to snort as he pumps harder and harder, growing more and more frustrated. He needs the release. He needs to alleviate the pain. Lost in a trance, he slams her against the mirror and pummels her pussy with abandon. And now the pain is no longer pleasurable.
"Enough. Enough", she calls out weakly, but Amir continues to pump harder and harder, biting down on her shoulder until he tastes blood.
"Amir, please. You're hurting me."
"I'm almost there. It feels so good, Nora. I'm almost there."
"Stop, Amir. Stop", banging her fist on his shoulder.
Oblivious to her pleas, he holds her tighter, not allowing her to move. He continues to thrust deeper and harder until he finally feels what he has not felt in a long time. And he bursts deep inside her, howling like a wounded animal as his pent-up seed flows deep into her. And he flows for what seems like and eternity, yowling and grunting in pleasure. He catches his sweat-drenched body in the mirror and smiles at the glistening image before him.
"Let go of me! Get off of me, Amir!" Nora yells, pounding her fists on his chest.
Startled by the tone of her voice, Amir jumps back and looks at her with fear in his eyes.
"What's the matter, Nora? Didn't you like it?"
Nora slides from the sink and pulls on her pants and top.
"What's the matter, Nora?" He asks anxiously because he has not been with a woman in a long time.
"I'm going home, Amir", swiping her tear-stained face with her fingers.
XXX
After showering, Nora stands in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom thinking about what happened tonight. She smiles as she examines her body, which is covered with Amir's fingerprints and teeth marks. She loves painful sex, in fact, she craves it. She thoroughly enjoys feeling the pain and wants more and more after each encounter. She finds pain to be thrilling and exhilarating. It gets her off especially when it is done right. For her, ecstasy and intense pain are one in the same. It is an orgasm wrapped in an orgasm.
Although she craves the indescribable euphoria she gets from painful sex, she does have boundaries. She is not suicidal and will never let things go too far, with Amir or anyone else. She smiles again as she looks into the mirror because Amir knows how to hurt her, but she sees that he can get out of control. In fact, he got out of control tonight and he frightened her. But she loves that he has a big dick and knows how to use it. She loves that he is a selfless lover, not like the countless number of men she has been with who cum after a few thrusts, leaving her frustrated and unfulfilled. She loves that Amir holds back his own pleasure until he is sure she is fully satisfied. She licks her lips thinking she just needs to teach him how to regulate the delivery of pain, maybe give him a safe word so he knows when things are getting out of control. Yes, that's what she will do, she will teach him because he is everything she has been searching for her entire life.
As she thinks about Amir, she feels the warm fluid dripping down her inner thigh and she inhales deeply and lets the towel drop to the floor. She slides the wooden hairbrush from the dressing table and jams the handle deep inside. She jams and jams and jams until the pain causes her to double over in pleasure. Fulfilled for the second time tonight, she smiles as she climbs into bed, thanking Olivia for getting her the job at the Center.
XXX
Sitting in his small apartment in Springfield Heights, Amir smiles because he was finally able to have an orgasm, and with a woman. He hates that it always takes him so long to find his pleasure. When he masturbates, his dick can stay rock hard for up to an hour before he can release. Since his injury, he has to work hard to get off. The delay is maddening, which frustrates him and causes him to become aggressive. But Nora seems to like rough sex, which confuses him because he has never met a woman like that before. She seemed to like when he rammed her hard, pulled her hair, bit into her flesh, and dug his fingernails into her skin. He shakes his head as he looks over at the brown plastic bottles lining the table.
Since his injury, Amir has avoided having a romantic relationship with a woman because he can no longer tolerate the look of disappointment on their faces or being ridiculed when it takes him too long to release. So, when he needs the feel of a women's flesh, he goes across town, away from Springfield Heights, and solicits prostitutes. His head begins to hurt as he thinks about his life, what he has become. He hates having to take all of this damn medication, but he knows the seizures will be worse if he does not take them.