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42. Isabella

"What's the matter with you, today?" Rose asks. She speeds up her treadmill and starts jogging, her pale ponytail swaying and swaying.

"Nothing, why?" I lie. I'm walking uphill, my body aching from my session with Edward. Everything hurts ridiculously good, a constant reminder of what he did to me. It's not just my body, either, he's running through my mind constantly as well, on a loop that sends shivers down my spine that make my heart beat fast.

Rose eyes me suspiciously, the corners of her lips turned up in amusement when she sees me wince. She gives me a once-over and gasps, jumping off the treadmill, elbows leaning on the armrests as she faces me.

"Motherfucking liar," she whispers at me. Rose walks over and pulls the emergency brake on my machine before she takes my hair and tugs it over my right shoulder. "Fucking liar, oh my fuck!" She's smiling now, full-on gawking at me in the busy gym. "What's this, Miss Swan?" Rose's fingertips ghost over the mark Edward's belt left on my neck. I guess we were a little too preoccupied to make sure I left his playroom unscathed. "Nothing?" Rose presses again.

I feel myself get red in the face, and it's not from working out.

"I, ah…" I start shyly. "I had a little playdate…"

"Oh damn! Baby, you let him top you?" My best friend asks.

"Maybe a little," I shrug.

"Tell that to the marks you're sporting there, honey. A little? Breathplay with the Ginger?"

"Mhm," I hum.

"Let's get out of here, dude. We need to talk about this." Rose yanks my arm and our towels before she drags me to the locker room.

"Shower, you have ten minutes before we're out of this place." She grabs another, big towel for herself and walks off to a stall of her own. The look in her eyes tells me she's not fucking around. I bet she'd even rush me out of here naked if my ten minutes are up. Fucking relentless Viper, I laugh to myself.

Half an hour later I sit on Rose's couch, facing the big window overlooking her backyard. The trees swaying in the wind suddenly feel very interesting.

"You better start talking, bitch." Rose flops down on the couch next to me, feet bare, two mugs of coffee in her hands. "Since when don't you tell me everything anymore?" She narrows her eyes playfully and hands me a mug.

"I guess I was still figuring it all out myself?" I chuckle.

"So how was it?" Rose's eyes burn with intensity.

I blink several times, trying to come up with the right words.

"Do we need to talk about this?" I ask, enjoying the way his hands trail over my naked back. We're still in his bed, a mess on top of slippery latex. His touch leaves goosebumps all over my body, but I'm not even close to being cold.

"I don't know," Edward chuckles. "Do you want to do it again?"

"I meant what I said, Ginger," I say. "I trust you."

"That's not an answer, gorgeous."

"I—I want to do it again if you want to do it again."

He knows what I mean.

"Baby Havoc, I never bottom but fuck. I think I'd even let you fuck me with a strap." His words make my pussy tingle again, and I bite back a groan as I imagine Ginger at my mercy while I take his ass. Fucker would love it.

"Holy shit, you mean that?" I ask, leaning up. I feel my nipples glide against the cool latex sheet as I move.

"Mhm, I would. On one condition," he says.

"What's that?"

"You date me, for real." It's the second time he's asking me that but I still don't know what to say to that.

"That's blackmailing, you know." I try to make this conversation lighthearted, but we both know it's anything but.

"Baby Havoc," Edward starts, taking a deep breath before he releases it slowly. "I'll switch for you. I fucking mean it. You're the only one I'd do that for because, fuck… You make my heart beat faster and my cock explode in a way I never experienced before. I need you, and I want you. Both your dominant and submissive parts. Baby, you turn me on like no one ever has."

"So, no more games to get what you want, heh?" I ask.

"Promise," he says. "We both get what we want, when we want it."

"Hello? Earth to Bella…" Rose shoves my shoulder and I swallow down a lump in my throat. "Christ, what kind of sex are you having with that guy? It's like some spiritual type shit," she jokes.

"Sorry," I mumble. "But yeah, I let him top me. And it was all I could have dreamed of."

"Oh, damn. Really?"

"I called him 'Master'," I blurt out. Rose's eyes grow twice the size.

"No way," she breathes.

"It just kinda slipped out of my mouth."

"That means you meant it… That he deserved it."

"It's freaking me out, Rose…He ah—he wants to date for real."

"And you don't want that?"

"I do, I really like him… but I'm also scared shitless. I don't want to lose myself again the way I have before, you know."

Rosalie sips her coffee, and I can almost hear her think.

"I don't think he's going to make you lose yourself, darling. I think he's made you find yourself again. The part you used to love but threw in a box under lock and key."

"I'm worried I'll love it too much, you know?"

"What's the big deal? You used to be a submissive through and through, babe. There's no shame in that, in anything for that matter."

"No, I know that. It's just that I had no romantic ties in my former life. But now the lines are so damn blurry and…"

"You're worried that if you two don't work out romantically you're going to lose it all again?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm worried about." I take comfort in the black coffee, in the heavenly scented candle Rose set on her coffee table and the warmth of her friendship.

"Don't be. Love is a risk, dating is too, especially within the lifestyle. But even if Emmett and I would break up, I wouldn't ever back out of the scene, you know. It would be hard to get back into the game, but that's what play party's are for. Don't be a little bitch. You're allowed to be happy, Havoc."