Only five more chapters to goooooo ;)

45. Edward

It's been two days since I've heard from Havoc. I haven't been texting her or leaving a million voicemail messages. I've been letting her cool off in silence. But apparently, she's not even missing me.

I bury myself in work, pouring a bourbon while I continue crossing off my never-ending to-do list when a message pops up on my phone.

Got your number from Jas. Can we talk? -Rose

My fingers hover over the keyboard, but if Bella wants to have Rose defend her case to me, she owes me at least a phone call.

I press the call button, and it only rings once before Rosalie picks up.

"To what do I owe this honor, Lady Viper?" There's a chuckle on the other end.

"I really wanted to talk to you. Bella told me what happened, showed up all upset at my doorstep the other night."

"And you're gonna tell me to back off, right?" I swivel in my office chair, loosen my tie.

"Not exactly," she says warmly. "She knows she was wrong, Edward. We had a great talk, actually."

"Oh, okay," I say dumbly. "What did she say?"

"Emmett held up the mirror for her, and she realizes you are not the past she's trying to get over. She has some issues, and she's come to the conclusion that you are actually helping her, and that she has to give you more credit. She says she trusts you, which is a bonus. Plus, Emmett also pointed out to her that she's being very naturally submissive when it comes to you. I mean, surely you've noticed that?" Rose asks.

"I mean, I have noticed on occasion, but then she reacted the way she did with that collar and I just feel so fucking stupid." I rub my face with my free hand, tugging my hair.

"She was afraid it was a fixed thing, you know, like you'd own her as your submissive."

That's what I was afraid of.

"Bella didn't even give me the time to explain, just bolted out of the place without a glance at me. That's not what she and I are doing, Rosalie. I am willing to submit to her if she'll do the same to me. I can't do this with any other person." I shake my head. "But if she's not willing to try for me, and I thought she was ready because Bella was going so, so well…" I sigh. "If she won't switch with me, I can't keep doing this. It's so hard for me to submit, Rose, I've never done this before. But I want to do it for Bella. I mean, I am doing it for her. For us," I rattle.

"Because you love her, right?"

I'm quiet for a few moments because hearing Rosalie say the words that have been swimming inside my mind for a while now is scary as fuck. Am I ready to admit that?

"I—." I take a deep breath. "Yeah, I fucking love my baby Havoc."

"She's sorry, Edward. But we both know she's too stubborn to acknowledge that right away. There is something I need you to do for me, though," she says, piquing my curiosity.

"Yes?"

"I'm hosting a play party at my house on Friday night. Come."

"Will she be there?" I ask.

"Of course, she's my best friend." Rosalie chuckles on the other end of the line as if she knows something. "She'll want to apologize. In-person," Rose continues.

"Fine, I'll be there. Send me the time and your address."

"Will do, and Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell her you love her. I bet she's gonna want to hear that."

I chuckle.

"Let her deserve it first," I say.

"Atta boy. She will, I'm sure of it."

I disconnect the call feeling better than before. Suddenly the urge to be a tenacious workaholic disappears, and I find myself scrolling through social media updates. I land on Rose and Bella's dungeon page, salivating over my baby Havoc in tight leather, yielding whips, and modeling latex outfits at conventions. On her personal page, I search for my favorite picture of her. It's Bella, black hair wild and free, dainty little waist encased in soft black cotton, the skirt of the dress flaring out and blowing up Marilyn Monroe-style. She looks so beautiful in that picture, eyes bright and smile infectious. It's a photo Rose took of her at Disney Land a few years back, and although she looks happy, I can see red scars on her wrists, and the way she's wearing a T-shirt underneath her dress to hide her back.

I never want to hurt her like that. I never want to lose her trust.

And I want to keep her safe, preferably forever. Because yes, my dark heart has opened for Isabella Swan. And she owns it one hundred percent.