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46. Isabella

Can we talk on Friday?

I'd type up the message multiple times, and after ten times, I finally ended up sending it. I've had a brick in my stomach for days now but I tried to give Edward space. I thought he'd call me, or text to talk about what happened, but I haven't gotten anything from him. Not even the good morning texts I used to get. Rose says it's because he is also giving me space, time to think. I think he's just sick of my antics and I need to step up my game.

I'd like that, baby Havoc.

That's why I'm at Alice's at three in the afternoon on a Friday, nervous and taken aback by her glorious collection.

"So, he said he was going to meet you there, Mistress?"

"You gotta stop with the title, Alice, we're not at the club, and I'm just Bella right now. It's really not necessary," I tell her for the millionth time. It's cute and very polite that Alice addresses me as Mistress, but hardly appropriate since I'm here for her help.

"Sorry, it's just a habit. I mean, you're such a good friend of Master J's, and I just don't want to step on anyone's toes." She smiles, eyes glistening when she talks about my friend. I grin at her.

"What?" she asks innocently.

"He's not just Master J anymore, is he?" I've been watching Jasper walk around with her mark on his neck, with the little cat pendant she gifted him. He's head over heels for his kitten.

"I…" she sighs and rolls her eyes. "I'm not sure I'm allowed to talk about that, to be honest. We haven't discussed it."

"Then he hasn't forbidden you to talk about it." I wink. "Gotta abuse the loopholes when they're there, Alice."

She chuckles, melodic and ringing all through her spare room. Alice lives in a modest two-bedroom apartment, but it's decorated to the nines and absolutely adorable.

"I guess him sleeping over on weeknights with no playtime does mean there's something more," Alice admits a little flustered.

"Ah, I fucking knew it! I'm so happy for you, Alice. And for Jas. He really needed something real after all the years he spent denying his own feelings."

"Yeah, he's told me about that."

"You two are exclusive now, aren't you?" I ask.

"Pins didn't really appreciate that, but I was over the moon when he told me he just wanted me around for the foreseeable future."

I smile, happy for them, wishing it was that easy for me and Edward.

"But you and Mr. Masen have a good thing going too, don't you? Jasper told me about it, how you're both trying to switch instead of fighting your feelings."

"Yeah," I start. "About that… That's kinda why I'm here."

Alice looks at me with curious eyes as she sits on the ottoman in the middle of the room. She converged this bedroom into a huge walk-in closet.

"It's not every day a girl gets to pry into a Domme's love life. So by all means, Bella. Spill." She emphasizes my name, finally comfortable enough to use it.

"I was a dick to him, and I have to make amends. Because I need to be woman enough to admit my feelings to Ginger."

Alice gasps.

"Oh my god, feelings? Please, what happened?"

I tell her the entire thing, about me running off and the conversation I had with Emmett and Rose, and how I've been acting like a child almost the entire time Edward and I were together.

"So you enjoy submitting to him, but you're scared the future might end up like your past?" Alice summarizes. I nod.

"I mean, I'm not an oracle or anything, but I do get good vibes from the two of you. What you share with Mr. Masen is so fucking sexy, like you both have this dominant energy around you that sizzles into something more when you're around each other. It's like you have the perfect push and pull, and I believe that's what switching is all about if I go on what I've heard from friends and Jas." Alice smiles. I notice the way she fiddles with her day collar, how pretty it looks. She catches me looking, drops her fingers from the locket engraved with a giant, Victorian 'J', and bites her lip. The handiwork is extraordinary.

"Alice?"

"Yes?"

"Where did you get your collar?" I wonder.

"I, ah… I made it after Master J sketched it out for me." She takes a deep breath. "I also kinda made the one Mr. Masen bought for you," she admits.

My eyes grow twice the size.

"Oh fuck, I'm mortified…" I sit down next to Alice, and she cradles one of my hands in between hers. "I'm so sorry. It's not that I didn't like that collar, Alice. It's beautiful. But it's just…" I trail off.

"I know, Bella. You just told me, It's totally fine. But can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why are you here, exactly?"

"I want to accept Ginger's collar," I blurt out. "I think I even want to wear it out, too."

Alice gasps again, looking enthusiastic and proud.

"Oh damn, really? That's such good news, Bella! Will you change the dynamic between you two, then?"

I shake my head.

"No, I just want to prove to him that I appreciate and respect him, that I can show Ginger that I'm in this for a hundred percent, as both girlfriend and switch. I have more sub tendencies than he does, and I realize that now. Emmett showed me the signs and I'm done with running away. I think I love him, Alice."

"Oh, my god… This is such a beautiful moment." I swear Alice has tears in her eyes.

"But first I have to win him back, and you're the perfect girl to help with that."

"Whatever you need me to do, I'm in," Alice says.

"I need to find your prettiest collar and leash and wear it tonight. It's Master's night tonight," I utter.

"I have the fucking chills right now, I'm so proud of you, Bella." Alice envelops me in a hug, and I feel every kind of good vibe she's been talking about.

"I haven't done anything yet, but you better not let me chicken out of it."

"Open that bag, Bella, you better have another outfit in there," she instructs.

"How did you know?" I laugh when Alice pries the handles of my leather duffel bag out of my hand.

"I might not be an oracle, but I sure as fuck know you don't go out to BDSM events like that." She motions to my black chinos and burgundy, silk wrap bodysuit.

"Ah, yes."

I show Alice what I plan on wearing tonight. It's the one thing I know is Ginger's weakness, because he bought it for me when I forgot my wallet and there was a leather exhibition at the club. Since it's already almost six, we opt on ordering pizza while Alice looks through her drawers to find me the perfect accessory.

When it's eight on the dot, we both get dressed. I'm in awe of yet another one of Alice's outfits; her black lace kitten ears, play collar which has a bell, and her name tag. I smile when she shows me it actually has Jasper's phone number on the back as owner. It's so extra, of course, it's a gift from Jasper. Alice wears a bodysuit that's part vinyl and part fishnet material. It's skintight, and she pairs it with vinyl thigh highs and thick, velvet heels. She looks absolutely beautiful.

"Come on, Bella. You look great, let's go." She wiggles her brows, and I tighten the harness around my sternum just a little more. I'm wearing Master's favorites tonight: jet black eyeshadow and thick liner with a nude lip, a black lace bralette and high-waisted black micro skirt, and the red, leather body harness he got me paired with thigh-high red boots he's already told me to keep on for a few times during sex but doesn't know belong to Rose.

"He's gonna lose his mind, I'm telling you," Alice says when I pack the glossy leash and collar.

I fucking hope so.