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Sonny Carisi walked out on the patio and smiled at the sight before him. There was a good amount of snow on the ground and Amanda was watching from the edge of the patio while Billie and Jessie waddled around and tried to chase each other – and Frannie- as best as they could in their snowsuits in his parents' backyard.
"You know," he began as he came from behind to wrap his arms around her waist. "We can go back to the city tonight before more snow hits if you don't want to stay."
"This is...perfect, Dominick," she sighed contently, leaning into his embrace. "Even if I did think you were crazy at first," she added. "Who would have thought a "vacation" to Staten Island was exactly what we needed? But don't go getting any ideas about moving us out here," she warned, her tone teasing.
He chuckled, his breath fogging in the cold winter air. "I happen to like our new living arrangement very much – wouldn't dream of giving it up anytime soon," he said, referring to their new 3-bedroom condo, which came complete with state-of-the-art kitchen appliances. "And I love my family, but if we lived out here, Ma would be over every single day. Between her and the girls, we'd never get a moment alone." He said lowly, leaning down to press his cheek against hers.
Three weeks ago, his parents had announced they were going to spend a week in Florida visiting Sonny's aunt, and it planted the seeds in Carisi's mind to plan a "stay-cation" of sorts for Rollins and the girls.
He and Amanda could take a few PTO days from work and they could pack up the girls and take a long weekend out to Staten Island since Jessie's school had an in-service day that week anyway. It wouldn't be a vacation by any means, but it would be a fun little getaway for them and the girls. He wanted to give the girls the same type of winter Staten Island experience that his parents gave to him and his sisters when they were young.
His mother had been thrilled with the idea – she went out of her way making cinnamon rolls from scratch, biscotti, pasta e fagioli, and marinara sauce with homemade cavatelli and meatballs before she left even though Sonny assured her all of that was unnecessary.
"I can cook, Ma."
"I know, but you should be makin' memories."
"But learnin' how to cook with you was one of my favorite memories," he countered.
He could hear the smile in his mother's voice when she replied. "Well, I'm flattered, but not all memories should be made in a kitchen, Sonny. You know that. Your father and I gave you and your sisters plenty of other experiences, too."
And making memories was exactly what they were doing this weekend.
They shared delicious family meals together. They watched Christmas movies and drank hot chocolate with Nonna Carisi's famous homemade snowflake shaped marshmallows, and tonight they promised the girls they could have a movie marathon and sleep in a fort in the family room complete with the sleeping bags Sonny found packed away in the attic.
They knew that Miracle on 34th Street would be requested by Jessie yetagain that evening. She was completely smitten with the movie – probably because she was smart enough to realize how she relates to Susan Walker. All Jessie could talk about his how much Mr. Bedford loves Susan and her mommy – just like Uncle Sonny loves her, Billie and Momma. She loves how Mr. Bedford proved Santa Clause is real in a courtroom, and she knows Uncle Sonny would be able to do the same thing, because he's the best lawyer ever. Although, her favorite part is the ending, when Susan gets all her Christmas wishes: her mommy married Mr. Bedford, they moved into a new house – just like she and Mommy and Billie and Uncle Sonny did – and she was pretty sure Susan's mommy was going to have a baby, so maybe her mommy would have another baby, too.
Amanda wouldn't lie - Jessie's obsession and romanticization of the movie did scare her a little bit – not because she thought it wouldn't happen for them, but because she knew it would happen for them—at least most of it. Amanda did know that a marrying Dominick was inevitable. It would happen – he hadn't asked her yet, but she knew he would and she knew her answer would be yes. She wanted Jessie to hold on to that magical sense of childhood wonder for as long as possible, but she was also a realist and didn't want Jessie to think that life always ended up like the movie – especially the part about getting a baby brother. Amanda couldn't deny it – she did daydream about having a baby with him...one that was equal parts him and equal parts her. She imagined what all of that could be like, but it also scared her, because she was older now, and already had two complicated pregnancies, what if something went wrong, really wrong, and she wouldn't be here to see the life they built together? That terrified her. She shivered, trying to push those thoughts away for now and to only focus on the happy squeals of her children, the excited barks of Frannie, and the warmth of Carisi's body behind her.
"They're having fun," Amanda said with a smile. "And so am I."
"Even if last night's sleeping arrangements were less than ideal?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
She laughed. The girls slept in the room that Sonny's sisters used to share, and she and Sonny slept in his old room, both of them barely able to fit in the double bed from his youth, because he absolutely refused to sleep in his parents' bedroom with his girlfriend. He said she could sleep in his parents' room, or she could sleep in his room, and he would sleep on the couch, but she said she wasn't going to sleep anywhere without him.
"I don't know... waking up in your arms this morning with barely a millimeter of space between us seems pretty ideal to me."
"I hope you feel that way tomorrow morning when we wake up with little elbows and toes jammed into our sides and a toddler sprawled out over both of us. Although, I'm sure I'm the one who will end up with Billie's feet in their face," he laughed. "That girl really loves to sleep upside down for some reason."
She grinned. "Wouldn't trade it for anything."
"Neither would I," he agreed.
"I don't know, though, your back is going to be all messed up between cramming into a bed that is too short for you and sleeping on the floor with the girls tonight..."
"Well, luckily, I know this great detective who believes in the healing power of massage, and she turned me into quite the believer, too. Maybe she'll help me out."
"Oh, yeah?" she grinned. "This great detective have a name?"
"Kat." He deadpanned.
Amanda broke out into laughter at his joke and turned around, still in his embrace, so they were looking at each other. "You're funny."
He reached out to cup her face – much like he did that night on the Hudson that felt like so long ago and only a day a go all at once – with his gloved hand. "You're beautiful," he whispered, admiring her rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes. The snow flurries landed on her eyelashes and he smiled affectionately letting a soft chuckle escape as he watched her as she blinked them away.
Sometimes, in these simple, beautiful moments, she found she no longer regretted every mistake she made, because every mistake, wrong turn and detour brought her to here and now. "I love you." She whispered back.
Just as their lips were about to meet, a handful of snow hit him in the legs followed by the sounds of two little girls giggling hysterically as if it was the funniest thing in the whole world.
Laughing, he and Amanda pulled away from each other and he turned to face Jessie and Billie. "Oh, no!" He exclaimed, dramatically. "That's definitely a federal offense," he teased and he kneeled down to make a snowball of his own.
Jessie's eyes grew wide as she watched. "That's like magic!" She exclaimed as she watched him form the snow into a sphere. "How'd you do that? Momma's didn't look like that earlier."
Sonny grinned. "Well, your momma has less practice than I had growing up. She grew up somewhere where it didn't really snow, and I grew up right here were it snowed a lot. I've had lots of practice. And I was always wantin' to have snowball fights with my sisters."
He handed Jessie one snowball, and quickly made another to hand to Billie. After that, he made one more before she stood up and caught Amanda's eye with a mischievous look on his face.
"Oh, no. No." She began, knowing exactly what he was going to do. "Don't even think about it, Counselor." She waved her finger at him. "I'm unarmed."
He looked between Billie and Jessie who were watching him intently with little grins on their faces as if they could read his mind just as well as their mother could. "Well, we'll let you have a five second head start," he said.
"Oooh, you don't play fair." She bent down to make a snowball as best as she could, laughing as it seemed to fall apart right in her hands. Finally, she had enough and scooped up a handful of snow and flung it at them as she tried to dodge the three snowballs that were coming her way.
Amanda couldn't help but to laugh even more as Jessie and Billie's snowballs hit her right in the stomach, while Sonny, the smart man that he was, aimed directly for her feet even though he could have aimed elsewhere.
Sometimes, she wished she could go back in time and tell that scared little girl in the outskirts of Atlanta that everything will be okay. That all the pain she was going to go through would be worth it because she would end up with two perfect daughters and the most amazing man – one who loved her daughters like his own, and loved her in a way no one else ever had before.