"I'm just saying," Sara Harper began, "you should get back out there. Date someone else. It's been like a whole year since you've dated."

Nicole shifted uncomfortably on the wooden bench they were sitting on in Central Park. It was a breezy mid-spring afternoon in April, but Nicole felt her face flush at the memory of how she ended things with Sonny nearly a year ago on Memorial Day weekend - minutes before he was going to officiate his friends' wedding. She told him – via text – after a heated phone call that that they just didn't want the same things from life and it was time to go their separate ways. It wasn't one of her finest moments, but it also wasn't one of her worst moments, either, especially when all she got back in response was "I agree" and that was the end of whatever they were.

"Hey, I've been on dates!"

"Fine," Sara amended. "A whole year since you've dated someone for more than a date or two."

Nicole shook her head. "Why does everyone think you need to be in a relationship to be happy?" She muttered. "Maybe I'm not cut out for a relationship. It doesn't really fit in my lifestyle."

Sara hummed. "Then why'd see that district attorney as long as you did?"

Nicole picked at her pretzel. "Because I thought it could be fun. He'd never been married, didn't have any kids...I just thought we would want the same things from life. It turns out I was very wrong. He wanted a marriage and kids." Nicole rolled her eyes. "I just don't get the hype. It's archaic." She scoffed. "That aside...I don't think it would have worked anyways...there were some things he wouldn't budge on when it came to police reform views..."

Her sister was quiet for a long moment and decided to play devil's advocate because it was always fun to do that to her older sister. "Well, he was a cop before you said. I think his opinion should carry some weight. Don't you?"

"Sara."

Sara just made a face and shrugged.

"Well, even if I could come to terms with that, I would never come to terms with his views on marriage."

"That's how we're different," Sara shrugged. "I get it – wanting to be married, having a family and all. Some people really are looking for that. And I think, if you really loved someone, you'd find a way to make things work."

"It's a piece of paper, Sara. You can have that without a marriage license. Besides, making marriage vows doesn't mean a relationship will last either. The divorce rate is almost fifty percent."

"Yeah, but it's a record. A hundred years from now, someone can be researching a family tree or something and there's a record that two people were married, that they built a life together. At least for a time," she added on, knowing that Nicole would again point out marriages didn't always last.

"If the world is still around a hundred years from now," Nicole snorted. "And kids, too? Why bring kids into a world like this. I think it's selfish."

"Kids are the future."

Nicole cracked a smile. "Okay, Grandma." She said, alluding to how that was something their grandmother always said.

"I mean look over there," Sara said, gesturing towards a woman with long blonde hair pulled up into a messy bun and two little girls, also with blonde hair, pulled into to high ponytails of their own. "That's adorable."

The older girl crossed her arms. "You're doing it all wrong," she admonished her sister. "Tell her, Momma!"

"Hey," the mother began, firm yet gentle, "she's little and is still learning. She needs to practice. Just like you had to."

"Can't do it, Momma." The other little girl pouted as the pink hula hoop fell from her waist to the ground. "Too hard."

"You can do it, baby. You just have to practice."

Nicole and Sara watched as the little girl picked up the hula hoop with a sigh and tried again. She tried to shake her hips, but she couldn't keep up the momentum.

"It's okay to take a break." The mother said after a few more ill-fated attempts with the hula hoop.

"Okay, it's cute, but watching a family play in the park like this is a little creepy. I'm going to get a coffee. Do you want one?"

"Yeah," Sara crumpled up her napkin. "I'll go with you."

They threw away their trash in the nearest trashcan and then walked down the path to the coffee cart.

"Oh, shit." Nicole said when they got closer to the coffee cart.

"What?"

There was a part of Nicole that wanted to turn around and say forget the coffee, but it was too late. She recognized that tall figure in a navy-blue suit ordering coffee with a very distinct Staten Island accent, and before she could do anything else, he turned around and they were face to face.

"Oh, Nicole...hi." He said when he realized it was her. "Sara," he nodded in her direction as a greeting.

Sara smiled first as it took Nicole a moment to respond while she studied him. For some reason, he looked the same, but entirely different all at once. His hair may have been a shade grayer than she remembered, but he was so happy. She'd never seen him this happy the entire time they were together. His eyes were brighter, his smile more genuine, the stress he carried with him seemed lighter now. People liked to say pregnant women glowed, and whether or not Nicole believed that, she would admit glowing was the best adjective to describe this version of Dominick Carisi.

She noticed that he had two single daffodils tucked in the outside pocket of the briefcase on his wrist and he was carefully juggling two paper cups of coffee in his hands.

"Hi," she replied politely. She was spared from saying anything else because at that moment, the little girl who was trying so hard to hula hoop ran down the hill and threw her arms around Sonny's legs.

She watched in amazement when he didn't even flinch or lose hold of anything he was holding.

"Hi, Papa," the little girl said.

Papa.

Nicole blinked in surprise, her mouth forming a perfect "o."

"Hi, there, Billie-Bean." He set everything he was holding down on ground and scooped the child up into his arms.

"We've been waiting forever." She said dramatically.

Sonny frowned. "I know and I'm sorry. Court ran late."

"I tried to explain that to her," came another voice. "But once she spotted you over here, she couldn't get here fast enough."

Sonny chuckled and gave the woman a brief kiss on the cheek. Then he turned his attention to the older girl and greeted her as the woman leaned over to pick up the briefcase and coffee cups. Nicole couldn't even say she was surprised anymore when the other girl called him "Papa" as well and told him that her math homework was really hard and said maybe he could help when they got home. He nodded and said "of course we can work on your math homework together, Jess," as she wrapped her arms around his legs and hugged him.

"Nicole," Sonny finally said after a moment or so. "This is Billie, Jessie, and..."

"Rollins." Nicole finished for him – grateful that they were spared the awkwardness of a handshake because Amanda now had her hands full – with all of Sonny's things and the hula hoop from earlier.

"Yeah," Sonny replied awkwardly as the realization flashed across Nicole's features. "This is Amanda Rollins."

"Or the reason you broke several of our dates." Nicole thought to herself even though when she saw them together now she understood why he did. He never looked at her the way he looked at Amanda and those girls. She knew, without a doubt, that for as long as she would have been with Sonny, she always would have been in the shadow of the Rollins family. He would always pick them first. Surprisingly enough, this realization didn't even bother her. It was simply just the way things were. She never wanted that kind of life, but he did. It was good things ended when they did, even if the how could have been handled more gracefully back then.

Amanda gave a small, polite smile. "I'm familiar with your work. It's a pleasure to meet you."

And wasn't a lie. She had suspected ever since that moment in his office before her dad's doctor called that he was seeing someone. Who this woman was, though, was a complete mystery to her. He did confirm, almost instantly after their kiss on the Hudson, that he was seeing someone, but it was over and they ended things a few hours ago.

It was a few days later when he received word that Sara Harper's case was going to trial, that he told Amanda more about Nicole – finally disclosing her name and not just referring to her as "someone," "her," or "she."

She tried to take it in stride. She was grateful how she never had to meet Nicole, and couldn't help but to think about how terrible it must have been for Sonny when she was with Al and then flirted with Khaldun right in front of him – cover story or not. But even if she tried to be stoic about it, she couldn't help entering "Nicole Harper, activist" into her Google search after she learned everything she could about her from the case files at work. The woman had a very impressive resume and there was no doubt that the work she did was important. There were some policing views and methods Amanda didn't necessarily agree with, but that aside, the mystery woman was beautiful and smart.

Amanda couldn't help the little bit of embarrassment and jealously that bubbled up to the surface when Sonny walked into the bedroom that night after getting Jessie situated in bed after requesting more water and saw what she was looking at on her tablet.

"She wasn't you; she could never be you," was all he said simply, and it was enough for Amanda. They ever spoke of Nicole – or even thought about here really – until this moment when they were face to face in Central Park.

And no one seemed to know what to say next.

In the end, it was Billie who saved the day again. With the perfect timing of the toddler that she was announcing, "Mommy, I hafta go potty!" as she squirmed around in her papa's arms.

Sonny set her feet down on the ground and Amanda handed his belongings and the coffee cups back to him. After Jessie said no when Amanda asked her if she had to go, too, Amanda handed her the hula hoop. "It was nice meeting you," Amanda said to Nicole before she took Billie's hand they raced off towards the restrooms.

Jessie tugged on the hem of Sonny's jacket. "Papa, I'm hungry. Momma said we could get pizza when you got here."

Sonny nodded at Jessie and then looked up at Nicole who said, "I can see you have your hands full. We better let you get going."

"It was nice seeing you," he offered sincerely.

"You, too. I'm glad it worked out for you," she nodded to Jessie and then towards the direction Amanda and Bille went off in.

His smile somehow managed to grow exponentially larger than it already was. "Yeah," he said as he placed his hand on Jessie's back. "Things are amazing. I hope they are for you, too."

Nicole gave a real smile of her own. "My career couldn't be better. I'm happy where I'm at in life."

"Good. Take care, Nicole." He nodded in her direction.

"You, too, Sonny." She said as she watched him reach for Jessie's hand and walk down the path. She saw Jessie's face light up when Sonny handed her one of the daffodils.

"Well, I guess he found what he was looking for," Sara said.

"Actually, Sara," Nicole began, "I think he always had that...they just didn't realize what it was before. I couldn't compete with that. Actually," she corrected, "no one could compete with that."