Please excuse my typos, but if I look at this anymore, I'll go cross –eyed!

"I'm home!" Amanda Rollins called excitedly as she entered her apartment Saturday afternoon after unexpectedly being called in to chase down a lead that morning. "I'm glad that didn't take all day. We should still be able to..." She trailed off when she heard voices, and although she was slightly confused, she couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face when she entered further into the apartment and saw Billie curled up next to Sonny on the couch, giggling happily and pointing at the illustrations in the book he was reading to her.

Billie waved in Amanda's direction half - heartedly and then snuggled closer to Sonny's side like a puppy would.

"Hi, baby," Amanda replied, crossing the room to ruffle Billie's hair before greeting the two of them with kisses. "I see we had a change of plans."

Bella had offered to take Billie and Jessie to see The Rockettes with her kids and then have a sleepover this weekend, and since Amanda was supposed to be off that evening, she and Sonny definitely planned on taking advantage of a child-free afternoon and night.

"A slight one," Sonny replied, sheepishly. "When Bella came to pick up the girls Billie, here, decided she didn't want to go...complete toddler meltdown."

Amanda winced.

"Bille stay! With Son-ny!" The little girl chimed in. "Billie just want pizza!"

"She didn't want to go to the show, but Bella promised she'd still be able to go out for pizza with them later if she wanted to, and she did," Sonny explained. "Bella's gonna let me know where to meet them after, and we can drop Billie off before we go out for our dinner reservation."

Amanda nodded. "I see," she hummed before directing her attention to her daughter. "I thought you were so excited to see The Rockettes. You and Jessie have been dancing all week preparing for it." She said as she smoothed down Billie's hair.

"Stay with Son-ny." Billie replied adamantly.

"I can't fault that logic," Amanda teased as she reached over to tickle Billie. "Momma would rather stay with Sonny than go see The Rockettes, too," she quipped with a smirk as she made eye contact with her boyfriend and squeezed herself between the arm of the couch and Carisi.

He gave her a smirk of his own and shook his head slightly before Billie interrupted them with a scowl as she watched her mother sit down.

"Bye-bye, Momma. Special Billie, Son-ny Day," she said as she waved her hand, repeating a version of Sonny's comment from after Bella had left with Jessie.

"Wow," Amanda teased as she stood up. "I guess I know where I rank on the scale here. I better go take a shower and leave you two to be."

"Bye-bye!" Billie repeated indignantly as Sonny gave an apologetic smile to Amanda before she disappeared down the hall.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Sonny asked later that night, closing his menu and placing it back on the table so he could study her completely. They had dropped off a slightly apprehensive Billie to Bella over an hour ago, and he couldn't help but to focus on how something seemed off.

"Huh?" she asked, absentmindedly tapping her fingers against the table.

He frowned slightly. "It seems like something is bothering you. Bella said everything's going great. Billie just needed some time to warm up to the adventure and she'll probably be fine spending the night."

"Oh, it's not that. I know the girls are fine with Bella and Tommy. It's good for Jessie and Billie. They're basically only with us or Sienna...it's important for them to have some other interactions, too."

He continued, "You know I'll go get her the second Bella calls if she wants to come home. Right?"

"I know."

He knit his brows together. "Is it about Billie practically kicking you out of story time today?"

"What? No. Of course not." Sonny gave her a look that said he wasn't convinced that was truth. "Well," she continued, "maybe, but not in the way you're probably thinking..." she fidgeted with her glass and watched as the lime wedge swirled among the ice cubes.

He shifted in his seat, leaning closer over to the table towards her.

"I...I don't know how to explain it, really. I don't want it to come across the wrong way..." she looked up from her glass and made eye contact with him.

He nodded understandingly. "Okay. So, why don't you just start talking and we take it from there. I promise we can always talk about anything," he flashed her the smile that was reserved solely for her. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah," she smiled back. "I do."

"Good."

When he reached over to hold her hand in his and give it a gentle squeeze, Amanda found the strength to voice the thoughts that have been floating around her head for a long time. Years, even, if she were to be completely honest with herself, but definitely more so since she and Carisi crossed the line from friends to something more.

"Do you..." she took a breath. "Do you remember how hard it was for me to tell you I was pregnant with Billie?" She bit her bottom lip as she watched the emotions play out over his facial expressions.

"Yeah..." He nodded slowly, encouraging her to continue.

"Part of the reason was because, I think on some level, we both knew that she could have been yours. If wouldn't have self-sabotaged that night in West Virginia, everything could have been different." She swallowed and then found her voice again. "The other part was partly because I knew that you didn't care for Al and I was afraid that maybe there'd be a chance you wouldn't love that baby the same way you loved Jessie or that you wouldn't want to have the same type of relationship with her that you had with Jessie."

"Amanda."

She could tell her was going to try to say something, but she shook her head, signaling she wanted to finish before she lost her nerve. "And then Al and I ended it, and we were finally getting back on track...but then you moved to the DA's office, and then the pandemic hit, and I just...I was just afraid that you and Billie missed the chance to bond like you and Jessie did. However, when we started this side of our relationship, I noticed all the little things that made me realize I had nothing to worry about."

She sniffled. "I saw it in the way you always cut up her bananas exactly how she likes them, how you cut her grilled cheese sandwiches in triangles, how you always seem to know where her favorite stuffed animal is hiding when it goes MIA, the way you know exactly what songs to sing to her before bedtime, and how to calm her when she's upset, but it goes both ways, too. I see it in how she's your little shadow around the apartment; when she hides toys in your briefcase or your shoes. How she mimics your actions when she plays with the play kitchen. The way her eyes lock with yours when you wake her up from a nap and she reaches out and pats your face with her chubby little hands."

She swore she saw him tear up as she continued. "When I came back into the living room after my shower this afternoon and saw you holding her as you danced around the room with matching grins on your faces with Dean Martin songs playing in the background for you special "Billie and Sonny Day," it just hit me – how lucky we all are. You and Billie do have a special bond, and it was overwhelming in the best way. You're everything I hoped and prayed for when I thought about the type of man I wanted to be in their lives. It was always you … never someone like you," she clarified. "I always wanted it to be you. I think I first recognized it when you slept on my shitty couch when I brought Jessie home from the hospital, but I was too afraid to admit it and I thought I was just confused by hormones. But looking back now, I realize I wasn't confused at all...I was just afraid."

Amanda cleared her throat, trying to keep her emotions in check. "Somedays, I thought it was inevitable that it would happen, and other days, I thought we'd never get there," she said, sadly recalling all the misses. "But, after seven months, and witnessing the change from "Uncle Sonny" to something so much more...well, sometimes it still doesn't feel real." She blinked back her own tears, but Sonny was quick to wipe the ones that spilled out away gently with the pads of his thumbs.

"I love all three of you so much," he said softly. "Genetics, DNA, biology... none of that matters. I love them exactly as I would if they were part of me and nothing will change that."

"I know you feel that way," she assured him, "but I know the legalities do matter. So, when we get married, we should look into a stepparent adoption..."

His lips quirked upward into a smile. Being with her these last seven months, he realized that it wouldn't be a dealbreaker for him if she never wanted to get married. As long as they were together forever, that little piece of paper didn't matter as much to him as he thought it would. The attorney in him knew the legal implications of marriage and legal ties to the girls were important, but there was always a way to work around that to some extent. However, this was the first time she slipped marriage into a conversation so confidently and so casually, he couldn't resist teasing her with their usual banter. "Oh, so you think I'm gonna propose to you one of these days, huh?" His grinned widened and he couldn't help the subconscious way he leaned even more over the table to be closer to her – the ring he picked out a few weeks ago in the forefront of his mind.

She smirked, reaching over to poke his chest with her pointer finger. "Only if I don't propose to you first, Counselor."