A/N: I own nothing related to the TV series Scandal. I haven't said that in a while.
Sweet160717, you're too funny. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. When you write two reviews I must write two responses. Haha. Chapter 51 was intended to be a bridge between everything that has happened since Fitz and Olivia decided to get involved in politics and what is coming next in their lives. Dendardendan, I'm glad you like my story. Fitz is kicking butts and taking names. He is tired of the betrayals and people endangering his family (Charlie, Darius, the mayor, Victoria, Hildie, and Kelly to some degree). However, it is all beginning to take a toll on him. Hildie's husband was not AA. Her daughter resembles Jolie because Jolie is much fairer than Cena. Remember, a long time ago Olivia told Mona that Jolie is all Fitz. Also, Maura often says how much Jolie looks just like Nora when she was younger. Lots of little hints like that to describe Jolie's features. Emma, I like the suggestion that perhaps Hildie could go back to Senegal with the Popes or volunteer at the church. Neither will happen but I like the thoughts. I also like the idea of Olivia appealing to Bryson on Kelly's behalf, but that won't happen and you will find out why in a few chapters. Also, Bryson Foods does offer an education assistance program for employees. Employees must be motivated to take advantage of the program. Kelly has a lot going on in her life, which we will learn more about in a few chapters. Justbecauseican43, I'm glad you enjoyed the update. The opioid storyline was subtly introduced waaaay back when by Chief Schuller when he was musing about opioid use in the mountain community where Charlie tried to kill the Grants. Schuller was the police chief that investigated the crash scene and returned the items he recovered from the crash site to the Grants. Monica, Marion explained to Fitz when they met with Chief Fredericks that no socio-economic group is unscathed by this drug epidemic. The wealthy and the poor are both impacted. The wealthy can still access legal opioids, but the not-so wealthy must resort to using dangerous and extremely powerful street drugs like heroin and fentanyl, which lead to overdose. (See my response above to Justbecauseica43.) Fitz wanted that meeting with Marion and Chief Fredericks because he wanted more information about opioids. Remember, a few chapters ago, during the flashback, straight-laced Fitz stopped the car in the middle of the highway and admonished Olivia for smoking weed. He told her he never smoked weed or did any kind of drug. Fitz will be doing a lot more lashing out, he is under a lot of stress. Bennie was compassionate about Fitz' plight, but he never found out that Fitz wanted to talk to him about Olivia's depression. You're right, a lot can happen in 18 months. It's going to be interesting times for the Grants. Keep on reading. Bryson is a wealthy man and like Fitz, he also has people investigated. Remember when Fitz had Bryson investigated? Well, Bryson had Olivia and Fitz investigated, too. That's how he learned they were paying for Thandee's care. Kandyse4olitz, Fitz is under a lot of stress and he won't be changing his mind about Hildie anytime soon, unless Olivia can convince him otherwise. CeresHelena, keen observation that Fitz' behavior might be putting his family's sanity at risk. Dakidd, Fitz is being over-protective, but he is doing what he thinks is best for his family. Guest1, Olivia is in unenviable position. She is pregnant, scared she is going to lose her husband to drugs, and is feeling guilty for not seeing the signs earlier that Fitz is hurting. Knowing she is ill-equipped to handle the situation, she, like other family members rely on Bennie for all things medical. Also, Marion is a bit more than Fitz' colleague: she saved Fitz' life, cared for Jolie following the crash, and is dating his brother. Olivia wants to help her husband and isn't interested keeping his secret. Family secrets can be as destructive as the drugs. Guest 2, yes Fitz feels like he dropped the ball relative to Charlie and needs to protect his family. Many, many chapters ago when they were at Mirage, he told Olivia that is his role. Hint. Let's see if the real Fitzgerald who preaches about grace is still in there. Guest 3, wow, you remember Olivia saying kids remember what's important to them. I'm always amazed by what you all remember and take away from this story. Guest 4, as I said above, Fitz has been betrayed by a lot of people and is not trusting of non-family members, not even Hildie, although he loves her cinnamon rolls. You have no sympathy for Kelly nor Fitz? SMH. Too funny. Guest 5, hold tight, all your questions will be answered over the next few chapters. Hilde is an abduction offense about to happen, too funny. I'm not obsessed with politics, Fitz decided to become a politician so I must write about his work. Also, this decision has had a major impact on their lives. Let's see how long your new-found respect for me lasts. LOL. Love your enthusiasm. Cheers. Guest 6, Bennie is going to give Olivia the name of a doctor to help Fitz. Let's see what he does with it because he is already showing signs he is not interested in talking to a shrink. You're right, Fitz has a lot going on, and apparently, he is not feeling too forgiving these days. Let's see if he remembers the concept of grace. Guest 7, remember when Fitz and Olivia returned from Mirage and Fitz contacted Bennie for advice on how to handle Olivia's depression. Olivia is now doing the same thing. She wants help for her husband and doesn't care that Marion was there.
Thanks for continuing to follow and review this story, I am grateful for the feedback. Here we go!
Chapter 52. The Ultimatum
Fitz has been seething since he and Olivia left Bennie's apartment, and that was a week ago. The passage of time has not diminished his anger, not even a little, and going to church this morning will have less impact. Knotting one of his favorite silk ties, he frowns as he studies his wife's reflection in the mirror. She is curled into a tight ball; the morning sickness is taking its toll on her. The nausea seems to have started earlier than he remembers when she was pregnant with Cena and Jolie. His hardened heart softens somewhat.
"Are you going to feel well enough for church this morning? We can stay home today", watching her hug the pillow.
"I feel awful, Fitz. I just want to puke and sleep — all at the same time", Olivia whines as she tries to fight back the latest wave of nausea. He sits on the side of the bed, pulls her onto his lap, and gently rocks her back and forth. This is the least he can do to help during this phase of their pregnancy.
"Don't …." Olivia says, pressing a hand to his chest trying to stop him from moving.
"Maybe we should stay home today so you can get some rest - be near the bathroom. We can go to church next Sunday." Unaware he is making a bad situation worse.
"Please stop", she whines, trying to squirm from his embrace.
"Would you like some tea?"
"Don't, Fitz."
"We've been through this before — you'll be fine in a few months", pressing his lips to her cheek.
Olivia tries to peel his arms from around her, but it is too late. Her stomach lurches and the putrid liquid spills over her hands and splatters onto his shirt and tie. She manages to push him aside and dash to the bathroom for her third date with the toilet this morning. Fitz' mouth falls open as he watches the vomit drip from his favorite tie onto his pants.
XXX
With her soft, loose curls bouncing around her shoulders, Cena skips down the winding path ahead of her parents, then runs up the wide concrete steps toward the double red doors. She stops and turns, waiting impatiently while her parents amble down the walkway. It has been a while since they have attended church and she is excited to see her friends at Sunday School.
"Slow down, Cena", Olivia calls from the bottom step, feeling much better after drinking a cup of hot tea and taking a shower. "Babe, where did you find that hair clip? I haven't seen it in ages."
"Cena found it in her box of hair stuff. She showed me a picture of how she wanted to wear her hair today and she needed an extra-large hair clip", shifting a sleepy Jolie in his arm.
"I'm sure the picture wasn't quite like that, babe. But you get an A for effort."
Fitz assesses Cena's hair as they walk up the steps. It is a simple hairstyle: hair pulled up from the sides and clamped at the crown with the decorative clip while the rest of the hair flows down her back. Perhaps the clip could be a little tighter, but the style looks similar to the little girl's in the picture, nonetheless. He pulls the heavy brass doorknob and Cena immediately dashes inside. Olivia shakes her head at her enthusiastic daughter and Fitz plasters on his politician's smile as they enter the church. The anteroom is filled with parishioners milling about and socializing before the service begins.
"Good morning, Mrs. and Mr. Grant. Good morning, Cena. Don't you look pretty today", says Melissa, one of the Sunday School teachers, as she smiles down at the wide-eyed little girl.
"Good morning, Melissa", Olivia says politely. "Say hello to Miss Johnson, Cena."
"Hi", Cena says, anxious to get in the back with the other children.
"Good morning, Melissa", Fitz echoes his wife.
"Mom and dad are holding our seats - let the girls go back with Melissa, babe", reaching to take Jolie from his arms.
"No — I want them to sit with us today", not bothering to offer an explanation.
Taken aback by his curt response, Olivia raises a perfectly arched eyebrow, wondering what is wrong. Fitz does not bat an eye, so Olivia turns to and Melissa displays her public smile.
"The girls will be sitting with us today, Melissa. Thank you so much." Cena frowns and pokes out her bottom lip when she hears she will not be going to Sunday School.
"That's fine, Mrs. Grant – Mr. Grant. Enjoy the service. I'll see you next Sunday, Cena."
Melissa waves to Cena then turns and walks toward the children's classrooms. Cena folds her arms across her chest and pokes out her lip further, if that were at all possible. Oblivious to the change in her daughter's demeanor, Olivia waves her hand frantically when she sees Yvonne and Darius Moton standing across the hall. She quickly navigates her way through the churchgoers but Fitz remains firmly planted in his spot.
"Yvonne — Darius – it's so good to see you. It's been forever", Olivia says, pecking Yvonne on the cheek, then Darius on his. "You look terrific, Yvonne. That dress is perfect for you", stepping back and assessing the woman's designer outfit. Pretending to shield a secret from her husband, Yvonne leans over and playfully whispers into Olivia's ear.
"Well we won't tell my husband how much it cost." The two women chuckle, but Darius is not amused.
"Olivia, the girls have gotten so big", Yvonne says, staring across the hall where Fitz is standing with Cena and Jolie. Olivia looks over her shoulder and beckons her husband, and he silently groans. He has not seen Darius since the argument in his office and has absolutely no interest in pretending to be social to the man. However, he remembers where he is, so he walks over to his wife.
"Hello Yvonne — Darius", Fitz says glumly.
"It's good to see you, Fitz", Yvonne beams and Darius grunts something unintelligible.
"How are the boys, Yvonne?" Olivia asks.
"They're fine - growing like weeds and as rambunctious as ever. They're in the back with Melissa. You're lucky to have girls, Olivia."
"Girls can be a handful, too. Cena is — "
"We better get to our seats, Liv", Fitz interjects, interrupting the chatter he knows will go on forever.
"Yvonne - let's get together soon for lunch. I'll call you. Take care, Darius", Olivia says, reaching down to take Cena's hand. "What's the matter, Cee?" Olivia asks when she feels her daughter pulling away her hand.
"I want to play on the computer with Deon", eyes welling up with tears. Fitz rolls his eyes and sighs at the mention of the boy's name.
"Let her go, Fitz. She misses her friends. It's been a while."
"Do you want to go to Sunday School or do you want to sit with daddy?" Looking down at his daughter's pouty face, and Olivia rolls her eyes at his shameless attempt to sway Cena.
"Sunday School", Cena replies excitedly, eyes now wide with anticipation. The corner of her father's mouth twitch slightly and Olivia summons everything within her to stifle the laugh that is threatening to escape her mouth.
"Are you sure, Princess?" Trying to will his daughter to change her mind.
"Fitz — please. Just let her go." He looks at his wife and sighs again.
"Fine - take Jo inside while I walk Cena back to Sunday School", placing Jolie into his wife's arms and giving her a look that says, don't you dare laugh. As Olivia walks toward the sanctuary, she smiles broadly, thinking he has lost out to Deon again.
XXX
Now that everyone is settled in their seats, Rev. Walker makes his way to the pulpit and begins to read the announcements listed in the church bulletin. First, he discusses the upcoming Father's Day breakfast, reminding wives and children to take care of dad on that special day. Next, he thanks the local florist for donating the beautiful flowers in the sanctuary. Finally, with a broad smile, he announces the new school is on schedule to open in the fall, and the crowd goes wild. He thanks everyone who has graciously donated their time and money to support the project. He gives a special thanks to Calvin and Gwendolyn Pope who have worked tirelessly to prepare the school for the fall opening before resuming their missionary work in Senegal.
The organist's fingers fly across the keyboard and the choir begins to sing. Parishioners are on their feet, clapping their hands to the harmonious voices of the singers. Others mimic the graceful movements of the Praise Dancers. The Holy Spirit is clearly moving through Triumph Tabernacle this morning. Rev. Walker closes out the service with a rousing sermon titled, Compassion during Difficult Times. He reminds everyone of the need to practice compassion – for themselves and for others.
After the service, Fitz seeks out Rev. Walker in the crowded hall and pulls him aside to schedule a meeting. He needs to inform the reverend of council's decision to place a one-year moratorium on new charter schools. He does not look forward to delivering the news.
"What were you talking with Rev. Walker about? I turned around and you were gone", Olivia says, stroking Jolie's back.
"I needed to schedule a meeting with him - to discuss the school."
"I'm sure he'll be happy to talk about that. Rev. Walker was so excited standing at the pulpit and giving the update on the new school."
"It won't be happening", Fitz says flatly, steering his wife through the hall by the arm.
"What? What are you talking about?" Olivia says, stopping abruptly and looking up at her husband with crinkled brow.
"We'll discuss it later – when we get home. Let's go get Cena."
XXX
Olivia frowns as she massages the skin caviar onto her leg. Her husband's shocking revelation has been weighing on her mind since they left church. She cannot imagine what has prompted him to halt the opening of Triumph's charter school. His Chinese wall to separate their professional and personal lives has left her out of the loop about the moratorium, and she does not like it. Walking from the bathroom, Fitz stops in the doorway, enjoying the sight of her massaging the cream onto her leg.
"I guess I'll be doing that for you in a few months. When is our appointment with Dr. Perry?"
"Two weeks. Do you want to know the sex this time?" Continuing to rub the cream onto her leg.
"I do", unfastening his wrist watch and tossing it onto the nightstand.
"So - you don't want to wait another eight months to find out we're having another girl."
"I just want our baby to be healthy, Liv."
"Sure — sure", she says playfully, twisting the lid onto the jar then setting it into the drawer.
"I'm serious. It's more important our baby is healthy — boy or girl", setting his phone onto the charger before climbing into bed. Olivia nods, turns around on the bed, and eyes him as he opens his tablet.
"Babe — what were you saying earlier about Triumph's charter school not opening in the fall?" Looking at him suspiciously.
"Council decided to put a moratorium on all new charter schools until we can get our arms around the performance disparities. Charter doesn't necessarily mean better, Liv", swiping his index finger across the screen.
"What do you mean? From what I understand— parents love charter schools."
Fitz sighs, he is not interested in discussing city business with his wife.
"What?"
"I don't want to discuss this with you, Liv."
"Well – I want to discuss it. Rev. Walker has been planning the new school for almost a year. Mom and dad have been spending all their free time there to help get it up and running - and you decide at the last minute it's not going to happen?"
"Council decided."
"Don't tell me council decided. You're the president of the city council - everyone knows how things work. I know how things work. Whatever the president wants the president gets."
"Perhaps Rev. Walker should've waited until the application was formally approved", Fitz says tersely.
"How can you be so cruel – uncaring. Charters are a viable option for families who want an alternate educational experience for their children. They have the right."
Fitz sighs again and closes the tablet cover. He really does not want to argue about charter schools or anything else tonight.
"Once we have the conclusions from the study — "
"Study? What study?" Her voice beginning to rise.
"This is why I don't want to discuss these matters with you. You get too emotional."
"I don't believe this. Why am I just hearing about this?"
"We've already had this conversation. You're not my co-president - I don't have to consult you about my work decisions", tossing the tablet onto the nightstand. "You don't consult me about your work."
"As a matter-of-fact I do. I value your opinion", glaring at him. "What are you going to tell mom and dad?"
"They'll understand the need for additional research. It's only a year, after all", he says tiredly.
"Only a year? They're going back to Senegal in a few weeks."
"I don't make policy decisions based on your parents' personal schedule, Olivia. Good night", he says, pecking her on the cheek before turning off his lamp. Stunned by the abruptness with which he ended the discussion, she stares at the back of his head in disbelief.
XXX
Mrs. Handley glances up at the tall man standing in front of her desk, and smiles slightly because she has a clear picture of what the council president will look like in another 20 or so years. With a mop thick white hair and piercing blue eyes, Gerry Grant is still a handsome man with a commanding presence.
"Good morning, Mr. Grant", Mrs. Handley's lips now stretched into a full smile. Gerry returns a polite smile and glances down at the nameplate on the desk.
"Good morning, Mrs. Handley. Is my son in?"
"Yes— he is, sir. I'll let him know you're here", quickly walking over to the office door.
XXX
"Dad?" Fitz says with surprise as he sets the coffee cup on the saucer and springs to his feet.
"Hello, Fitzgerald."
"This is a surprise", Fitz says, walking around the desk to shake his father's hand. "I didn't know you were coming here today. To what do I owe the honor?" Smiling politely.
"May I sit down?" Gerry asks, grimacing as he quickly scans the office.
"Of course — of course. Can I get you something to drink, dad? Mrs. Handley makes the best coffee I've ever tasted. Don't tell Liv I said that", Fitz says jokingly.
"No - thank you", Gerry says as he sits on one of the chairs positioned in front of the desk and crosses his legs. Gerry smiles at the pictures of his son's family on the credenza behind the desk as Fitz returns to his seat.
"How are my granddaughters doing, Fitzgerald?"
"Cena and Jolie are well. Jo is becoming more confident in walking independently."
"Good – good. And Olivia — how is Olivia doing these days?"
"Liv is fine", refraining from revealing they are expecting another child. They agreed not to tell anyone until after their appointment with Dr. Perry.
"Good — good. Then - I'll cut to the chase. There's chatter around town you're considering a run for mayor."
"I really haven't given it much thought, dad. I've had some preliminary discussions with a few people — but I've not decided anything. Liv and I need to discuss it further."
"What the hell are you doing here, Fitzgerald?" Gerry asks in annoyance as he glances around the Second Empire-style office with disdain. Fitz squints at his father, he is not sure why the man is suddenly interested in his political career.
"Would you care to elaborate?" Lifting the cup to his lips.
Always the wise ass.
"Politics is a dirty business, Fitzgerald. From time to time politicians have to get their hands dirty — do terrible things. You don't have the stomach for that."
Fitz crinkles his brow.
"You were never supposed to run for political office. You have a goddamn successful business - and you give it all up for what — to play at politics?" Fitz' face reddens.
"I couldn't sit on the sidelines forever, dad. I needed to get involved. I want to help the people", delivering his practiced speech.
"You can't help the people. Don't you know that by now? The system is stacked against the people. You don't know a damn thing about this city — what's really going on here — how things really work."
"And you do – I suppose?" Fit says, growing more annoyed.
"You should be running your business - taking care of your family — not pretending to be a goddamn politician." Fitz balls a hand into a fist and Gerry stands to leave.
"Give up on this nonsense of running for mayor. Go back to your business", Gerry says before leaving the office.
"Have a good afternoon, Mrs. Handley", Gerry says pleasantly.
"And you as well, Mr. Grant."
XXX
Dinnertime has become a somber experience at the Grant house lately. There is little to no sharing of everyone's daily activities. Cena eats quietly, not jabbering as usual. She does not understand why her daddy is yelling a lot lately. Gwendolyn and Calvin are perturbed because Fitzgerald has terminated Hildie, but remain silent on the matter. After all, this is his house and he has the right to decide who gets to stay. Jolie, however, did not get the memo to be silent at dinner, because she is babbling loudly as she plays with her food.
"Another terrific dinner. Thank goodness Hildie was diligent in preparing extra meals. We're going to miss her cooking around here — those breakfast rolls. Mmm. The woman is a saint", Calvin says as he stares at his son-in-law.
Olivia glances at her father, silently warning him to let it go. Fitz smile at a babbling Jolie, who is making a mess of her food, and wonders how much food actually makes it into her mouth. He lifts the spoon from her hand and slides a spoonful of mashed sweet peas into her mouth.
"Dada, dada", Jolie responds, smacking her lips for more, and Fitz smiles at her green lips.
"Fitzgerald", Calvin begins slowly as he sets his fork on the side of the plate. He leans back in his chair and folds his hands.
"Yes, Calvin", Fitz says, smiling as he slides a spoonful of mashed sweet potatoes into Jolie's mouth. She bangs her hand on the tray again and squeals for more.
"Rev. Walker announced at last night's School Project meeting that you have decided to delay the opening of Triumph's charter school this fall."
Fitz' body stiffens and he slides another spoonful of mashed sweet potatoes into Jolie's mouth.
"Are you aware, Fitzgerald, how much time and effort we – everyone — has invested in getting that school ready to open? Rev. Walker is devastated – we're all devastated."
Fitz closes his eyes thinking one more thing he has to deal with today.
"Dad –"
"Your mother and I want an answer, Livvia. We've been working nonstop for the past five months – and all for naught." Gwendolyn looks down at her plate and shakes her head.
"Dad – please. Not now." Her father is poking the bear.
"Yes – now, Livvia. I want Fitzgerald to look me in my eyes and tell me why he has decided to deprive marginalized children of the right to a decent education." Fitz silently sighs.
"I've met with Rev. Walker about the moratorium, Calvin, and he understands council's decision", not really feeling the need to further explain city business to his father-in-law.
"What did you expect him to say? Rev. Walker is a man of God. Of course, he was going to be gracious about this assault on the poor - but he is devastated nonetheless. Moratorium is just code language for cheating poor children out of an equal education. Those children have no where near what the children of Church Falls have. They have not been given an equal chance, equal textbooks, equal amount of money, equal computers, equal quality of teachers. And now you want to take away the only chance they have for a decent education. This is criminal."
Fitz remains hunched over Jolie's high chair and closes his eyes and silently counts to 10.
"Enough, dad."
"It's not enough, Livvia. Those children in the city will never catch up with the privileged children of Church Falls if they're not given access to a good education."
"Calvin", Gwendolyn says in a warning tone, but her husband is fired up so he persists.
"Your husband is complicit in feeding the pipeline to prison — which is nothing more than a modern-day form of slavery."
"I said enough, Calvin", Gwendolyn demands.
Fitz stands abruptly, sending his stool flying backward and glares at Calvin. Cena looks up at her father and Jolie claps her hands because she likes the sound of the stool toppling to the floor.
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, Calvin. You're now concerned about children in the city? Where the hell was your concern when you moved to Church Falls? Give me a break."
Calvin's eyes bulge and he rubs his thumb over the large silver and onyx ring he wears on his right index finger. Fitz shoots a glance at his wife before stomping from the kitchen; he has had enough. Cena jumps down from her stool and runs after her father.
"You went too far, dad", Olivia says, fuming with anger.
"I was just speaking the truth, Livvia", Calvin says smugly.
"The truth — whose truth? Why do you think your position is more valid than his? Have you been involved in the talks with the city? Have you read the research about charter schools' performance?"
"I know what's going on with the education system, Livvia", her father says in a dismissive tone.
"I understand you're upset about the school — I do. But you don't get to speak to my husband in that way. I won't allow it — not in this house. You will give him the same level of respect he gives you — nothing less."
"Livvia — "
"Enough, dad — please. Our eyes and hearts are shaped by our culture – our gender — our race — but that does not mean we cannot nor should not try to understand another's perspective. It certainly does not mean we have license to be disrespectful."
Olivia lifts Jolie from the high chair and storms from the kitchen to find her husband.
"You went too far this time, Calvin. You not only offended Fitzgerald — but you also managed to upset your daughter."
"Someone in this house needs to be a voice for those underprivileged children", leaning back in his chair and sucking his teeth in satisfaction.
"It might have been cathartic, Calvin — but catharsis isn't a substitute for common sense", Gwendolyn says before leaving her husband alone with his pomposity.
XXX
Olivia sighs when she sees Cena once again sitting on the floor with her back pressed against the wall.
"Why are you sitting out here, Cena?" Staring down at her daughter who is stroking Bowtie's head.
"I'm waiting for daddy", she says softly.
"Take your sister and go play while I talk to daddy, baby. Okay?"
"Okay." Cena says reluctantly. "Come on, Jo", taking her sister by the hand and steering the little girl toward the family room. Olivia steps into the study and quietly closes the door behind her.
"Fitz –"
"It's not a secret that your father and I don't share the same politics – but I have always tried to respect his beliefs – even when his positions have no basis in fact. He wants to question my motivations when he doesn't have a clue about the disparities in charter schools' performance."
"Babe —"
"The man all but called me a racist, Liv. His armchair social activism is tiring. Your father is a self-righteous — arrogant ass."
"Fitz."
"Don't Fitz me", turning from the window and looking at his wife. The hurt and anger are evident on his face. "The Great Calvin Pope — of all people — wants to preach to me about where I chose to send my child to school — I heard the slur. The man is a goddamn hypocrite."
"Okay — that's enough."
"That's enough? Why is it enough? Maybe your father should have been more concerned about how he neglected his own daughter while he was running around taking care of strangers. Charity begins at home."
"Stop. Talking", flashing the palms of her hand at her husband. "I'm going to give the girls their bath and let you calm down", glaring at him before backing out of the study.
Fitz knows he has touched a sensitive nerve, but he does not care. He is fed up with everything these days. He is fed up with people taking liberties to offer him unsolicited advice. He is fed up with being scolded as if he is a child. He is fed up with people wanting to dictate how he should live his life. It is all becoming unbearable.
XXX
Unable to focus on his notes for the upcoming budget hearings, Fitz stands, stretches, and looks out the window. He has been working all morning and has not accomplished much of anything. He needs a break, maybe some fresh air will help to clear his head. He tosses the ink pen onto the desk then walks from the study.
"What are you doing out here, Princess?" Looking down at his daughter who is sitting cross-legged with Bowtie at her side.
"Nothing", she says in a small voice.
"Nothing? Well, how would you and Bowtie like to go outside for a while and do nothing with me? It's a beautiful day."
"Yeah", Cena screams, quickly scrambling to her feet.
"Get Bowtie's leash and I'll meet you at the front door."
"Come on, Bowtie, we're going to do nothing with daddy." Bowtie scampers down the hall behind Cena while Fitz walks in the opposite direction, toward the kitchen.
XXX
Olivia has been in the kitchen all morning preparing and freezing meals for the upcoming week. This is not how she wants to spend her Saturday. She would rather be taking a nap like Jolie rather than stirring the large pot of spaghetti sauce.
"I'm going to take Cee and Bowtie for a walk."
"What did you say?" Looking over her shoulder at her husband who is standing in the doorway.
"It's a nice day — I'm going for a walk. I'm taking Cee and Bowtie with me."
"Oh — okay. Lunch will be ready when you get back", searching his eyes to gauge his temperament. Her father's outburst last night did nothing to improve his demeanor. Thank goodness mom and dad are out for the morning.
With the leather leash wrapped twice around his right hand, Cena holds her father's left hand, swinging their hands back and forth as they make their way down the long driveway. It is spring and their property is bursting with color. Todd, the landscaper, did a fantastic job when they moved into the house almost eight years ago. Todd planted a mix of conifers, ferns, perennials, and shrubs throughout the property. He made sure the gardens would be filled with color all year.
Inhaling deeply, Fitz fills his nose with the with rich floral scent of roses and daphnes. He smiles as he reminisces about the day he and John found the house, new construction. He liked the size of the house and loved that it sat on a one-acre lot, and the neighbors were far enough away to afford them the privacy he wanted. Sadness washes over him when he thinks in just six short weeks they will be moving from their home. As they approach the end of the driveway, Fitz turns in surprise when he hears Rufus barking and running toward them. Bowtie returns the barks, testing Fitz's strength as he tries to pull away. Fitz tightens his hold on the leash and pushes Cena behind him.
"Daddy — here comes Rufus", Cena says excitedly.
Struggling to get away from Fitz, Bowtie yelps louder as Rufus runs across the manicured lawn. Fitz grabs a large tree branch from the ground and prepares to pummel Rufus, if necessary. He threatens the dog with the tree branch and Rufus whimpers, turns tail, and scurries down the street to his approaching master.
"Daddy, Rufus wanted to play with Bowtie", not understanding her father's reaction. Fitz quickly hustles Cena and Bowtie up the driveway and back into the house.
"Cena, you must stay away from that dog. Do you understand?" He warns as they stand in the foyer.
"But —" Cena's protests are interrupted by the ringing doorbell.
"Fitz – I'm so sorry — Rufus was startled by Dave's lawn mower again. He took off running before I knew it."
"Keep your goddamn dog on a leash, Harry — or I'll contact animal services." Cena eyes widen and she runs down the hall to get her mother.
"Fitz, I'm sorry", Harry tries to apologize again.
"That damn dog could have harmed my daughter - sorry isn't good enough."
"Fitz, Rufus has known Cena since she was a baby. You know he would never –"
"Don't tell me what he would never do. He was clearly out of control. If you can't handle that animal then — "
"Fitz – what's wrong? Oh – hello, Harry." Olivia says, drying her hands on the dish towel as she looks at Harry then at her husband's twisted face. Cena remains at the end of the foyer, hugging the doorframe and watching the scene unfold.
"Hello, Olivia. I'm sorry – there was a misunderstanding – Rufus got away from me –"
"That dog almost attacked my daughter."
"Fitz – that's not true", Harry says calmly.
"Are you calling me a liar, Harry?"
"Fitz, there's no need — "
"Keep your dog off my property. Do you understand me?" Taking a step toward the shaken neighbor, and Olivia steps in front of her out-of-control husband.
"Harry, thank you for stopping by - I'll take it from here", Olivia says in an apologetic tone.
"I'm sorry, Olivia – Fitz. We meant no harm", Harry says, turning and walking down the steps with head bowed.
Fitz slams the door with such force, the painting they bought while on their honeymoon in Greece falls to the floor and the glass shatters. Cena runs upstairs to her bedroom and slams the door.
XXX
"Are we not going to talk about what's going on?"
"No", he says through clenched teeth.
"No? What do you mean no? Will you just talk to me? I know you're angry with me for telling Ben, but –"
"We could have handled this ourselves. I didn't need you to advertise my personal affairs to my brother and his girlfriend."
"We couldn't handle it. You weren't handling it — and I didn't know how to handle it. I needed help - we needed help — and I'll do it again if it means saving our family."
"Don't get up on your high horse, Olivia. You don't know everything that's good for me – for this family."
"Well - excuse me for making the grievous mistake of trying to help my husband", throwing her hands up in despair.
"Who else did you tell?"
"What?"
"You heard me. Who else did you find the need to blab?" Taking a step toward her.
"One – I don't like the tone with which you're speaking to me. Two -"
"Did you tell your parents? Your father certainly felt emboldened the other night."
"No – of course not. Why would I?" Looking at him in disbelief.
"Well you sure couldn't wait to tell Bennie." snatching open the refrigerator and grabbing a bottle of sparkling water.
"I told you we needed to talk to Ben. There's no shame in talking about what happened. Besides — you agreed."
"You needed to talk to Bennie. I only agreed under the circumstances — to satisfy you." Slamming the refrigerator door and causing its contents to shudder.
"Whatever your reason — it's done. I wasn't going to shove it under the rug. It needed to be swept into the light.Now it's in the open — so you can stop pretending you're all right.This is not about your dignity — this is about our family."
"You don't know every damn thing, Olivia", squeezing the bottle.
"I know you've been raging and fuming around here for days. I know you need to talk to someone because this lashing out has to stop. I could accept you not wanting Asha and Cena to be friends", lowering her voice so Cena does not hear. "I could even accept you wanting to terminate Hildie - but what I can't accept is your constant state of anger."
"I'm not in any state", he snarls.
"You are. You made Cena cry last week when she was simply trying to please you — as usual. Now you're fighting with the neighbors for god's sake."
"Neighbor – singular."
She places a hand on her hip and stares at him as if he has lost his mind. She cannot believe he wants to parse her words right now.
"That fearsome animal was ready to attack our daughter."
"Rufus is ancient and barely has teeth. And what about my parents - you were rude –"
"Rude? I work for the citizens of the city — not your father. I don't have to explain a damn thing to him about my policy decisions."
They glare at each other, her chest rising and falling and his face flush with anger. Neither is willing to back down. Calvin slowly enters the kitchen, he could hear their raised voices when he walked into the house.
"Is everything all right in here?" glancing back and forth at the tension on the couple's faces.
"Everything is fine dad", flashing a smile that her father does not buy. Fitz throws the bottle of water into the copper farmhouse sink and storms from the kitchen in a huff. Olivia looks at the shattered glass and shakes her head.
"Livvia – "
"I need a minute dad", flashing her palms at him. She does not want to involve her father in her marital matters. Wanting to say more, Calvin stares at his daughter for a long while, but remains silent.
"Everything is fine, dad. I'm fine – really", nervously rubbing her temple.
"I'm here if you need me", giving her a reassuring look before reluctantly turning and walking from the kitchen.
Hearing her father's footsteps fading down the hall, Olivia clamps a hand over her mouth, allowing herself one minute to silently cry. After a minute, she dries her eyes with the dish towel and walks from the kitchen to check on Cena.
XXX
Fitz has begun to work at the office later and later, often calling Olivia just before dinner to let her know he will not be home for bath time. He claims he is preparing for the upcoming budget hearings, but she knows otherwise. Sitting on the sofa in the family room and watching the girls play with their toys, she is surprised when the alarm chimes, which signals her husband has arrived home. With Bowtie close behind, Cena runs from the family room and down the hall to greet her father. Jolie stands to her feet and slowly follows her sister and the family pet.
"Daddy — daddy, can we play a game tonight?" Cena asks excitedly as she jumps into his arms.
"Not tonight, Princess. Daddy has work to do", walking into the family room where Jolie is just making her way to the entrance. Cena drops her chin and pokes out her bottom lip, and Olivia sighs as she looks at her daughter's crestfallen face.
"I have work to do —I'll be in the study", Fitz says, pecking Olivia on the cheek.
"You just got home. Aren't you going to eat dinner?"
"I'm not hungry", he says, turning and walking toward the study.
As Olivia's sits on the sofa, her thoughts drift to her husband's demeanor of late. He is hurting, and when he is hurting, she hurts as well. She hurts in a place that can only be touched by him. It is the kind of hurt that, if gone unattended, will destroy both them. Shaken from her thoughts by Cena's sudden outburst, Olivia looks across the room as Cena snatches a doll from her sister's chubby little hands.
"Stop it, Jo. That's my toy."
"Cena. You don't speak to your sister like that."
"She has my doll, mommy", Cena defends.
"Let's put the toys away for the night and go upstairs. It's time for your bath", Olivia says, bending and picking up a crying Jolie.
XXX
After reading Goodnight Moon, Olivia stomps down the hall toward their bedroom and walks into the closet; she has had enough. It is time to end the madness. She snatches the suitcase she bought him after the accident from the shelf and drags it into the bedroom. She has been trying to give him space to get over his anger or whatever, but there is no indication things are going to change any time soon. He is angry all the time and continues to make not-so clever excuses not to see a therapist. His behavior is no longer acceptable. Fitz enters their bedroom, stopping abruptly when he sees his wife walking from the closet with an armful of his clothes.
"What is this?" His eyes darting back and forth between the suitcase on the bed and the clothes in her arms.
"You have to get help or you need to leave - tonight." Her statement has him back on his heels.
"What?"
"You're upset with me — I get it — but you're confusing the children."
"I'm not", he protests.
"You are. Cena sits outside the study every night because she's concerned about you. It's not a six-year old's job to worry about her father." His face reddens with anger.
"This is absurd - I'm not going anywhere", scoffing at the idea of leaving his home.
"You need solitude - time to think."
"I'm not leaving our family", watching in dismay as she tosses more of his clothes into the suitcase.
"You're not leaving us — you're going to find yourself – figure out what's wrong. And when you're done — we'll be here for you", she says, pacing back and forth and trying to hold it together.
"You're giving me an ultimatum?" He says in disbelief.
"Yes."
"Well - I don't like the terms of your demand", his face hardens as he slips into lawyer mode.
"This is not a negotiation", she retorts, and his eyes darken.
"Where the hell am I supposed to go?"
"To the lake house – maybe. You still have toiletries and some clothes there. Thank goodness, we decided to leave a few things up there. I've ordered food for you - it should arrive in the morning — maybe around 10."
She knows she is rambling, but she cannot stop talking, she cannot stop moving. If she stops, she knows she will break down, and breaking down is not an option. Fitz pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off the headache that is building behind his eyes.
"This is ridiculous. What do we tell the girls?"
"I'll handle Cena."
"I have work to do if you've forgotten while you're busy making decisions for me", his words dripping with sarcasm.
"Mrs. Handley knows you'll be away for a while", and that statement sends him over the edge.
"You had no right. Who the hell do you think you are contacting my assistant? You've crossed the line, Olivia."
"I have every right. I am your wife and I will not stay silent — look the other way - while you remain stuck in this purgatory. I will not be a part of your self-destruction."
With chests heaving, they stare at each other for a long time, but she will not capitulate to his ranting and raving. So, she walks over to the drawer and grabs more shirts, and his eyes widen, wondering how long she thinks he is supposed to be gone.
"We have an appointment with Joan tomorrow— we close on the house."
"I've rescheduled our appointment. I can't think about moving when our current home is crumbling around us", dropping the pile of shirts into the suitcase and shattering his last excuse. So, he goes for the jugular.
"I'm not leaving my family - we've been down that path once before - if you've forgotten", snatching the suitcase from the bed and throwing it to the floor.
"You. Should. Go. Now", folding her arms across her chest.
Fitz knows he cannot break her resolve once she has made up her mind. He is fraught, so he raises the heel of his shoe and kicks the luggage across the room with such force it collides with her vanity table, toppling over makeup and bottles of perfume onto the silver tray. Olivia jumps back and stares at him with wide eyes. The tension in the bedroom is palpable, and this time, there is no one nearby to interrupt the stare-down. Any eternity seems to have passed before he decides to relent.
"Fine - make the damn appointment if that'll make you happy."
XXX
Olivia is typically an early bird, rising before her husband to get Cena ready for school and feed Jolie breakfast. But these days, she can barely lift her head from the pillow long after the sun has peaked through the curtains. This baby is draining all her energy and she just wants to sleep. She pulls the covers around her shoulders, allowing herself a few more minutes to enjoy the warmth of the bed before starting her day. After a minute, she groans, because her plan is foiled once again by the feeling of nausea and the need to empty her bladder. She crawls from the bed and drags herself to the bathroom, which has become her least favorite room in the house.
Thirty minutes later, Olivia finally makes her way downstairs for a much-needed cup of hot tea, and quickly realizes she is alone in the house. Fitz has left for work and Cena is at school. Her mother has left a note on the granite island top stating she and Calvin have taken Jolie with them for the day.
Caressing the mug of hot tea, Olivia enjoys the solitude of their home. She has forgotten what it is like to spend time alone in the beautiful house with her thoughts; there is always so much activity swirling around the house. She leans back in the chair and brings the mug to her lips; the hot tea has quelled the nausea and her stomach is no longer lurching. She is starting to feel better. A smile plays on her lips as she slowly scans the room, reflecting on the wonderful times they have had in the beautiful kitchen over the years. From serving as Fitz' official food testers, to helping Cena with her homework, to entertaining family and friends, the kitchen has been the heart of their home. She brings a finger to her lips, smiling as she remembers coming home one day and finding Fitz bathing baby Jolie in the sink.
She carries the mug to the family room, sits on the sofa, and pulls the cashmere throw over her legs. She smiles at the sounds of birds chirping and tweeting; their backyard is a virtual aviary. She wonders if the goldfinch has returned this year. Taking another sip of tea, Olivia runs her fingers through her shoulder-length hair, she is long overdue for a haircut, but sitting in the salon for hours is not a priority. Fitz needs her right now, so everything else has to take a backseat.
Tears well in her eyes as she thinks about how much she misses her husband. She looks down at the floor and thinks how she misses his laugh, especially when he is playing with the girls and allowing Cena to win another game. She misses the private time in their bedroom at night where they discuss their hopes and dreams. She misses the feel of his mouth gliding over her body when they make love. Brushing away a tear from her cheek, she thinks about the man who was raging in their bedroom a few nights ago. That man is not her husband. That is a man who is hurting, a man who is in pain, and that breaks her heart. She glances at the clock on the small table and quickly downs the remainder of the tea. It is time to get dressed.
XXX
Olivia exits the elevator on the third floor of City Hall, her heels clickety-clacking on the marble floors as she walks toward the reception area. Relieved she no longer has to interact with the former obnoxious assistant, who always made her feel like she needed an appointment to see her own husband, Olivia smiles when she sees Mrs. Handley sitting at the desk.
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Grant. It's so good to see you again", Mrs. Handley says with an inviting smile.
"Hello, Mrs. Handley, it's good to see you as well. Is my husband available?" Glancing over at the office door that is slightly ajar.
"Yes — he is. Go right in, Mrs. Grant."
XXX
The sight of him shrouded by the warm glow of the sun takes her breath away. He looks relaxed, at peace, and that makes her sad because he no longer looks like that at home. She watches him smile as he lifts the coffee cup to his lips, and wonders what he is reading. He is so studious, a hard worker, who digs deeps to understand the substance of issues.
"What's so funny?" She asks, slowly entering the office and closing the door. Fitz glances up from the document and the twinkle immediately fades from his eyes.
"Liv — what are you doing here? Is something wrong?" Squinting as he lowers the cup to the saucer.
"Can't I visit my husband?" Smiling somewhat nervously, which is odd, because she should not feel uneasy around her husband. "You left before I woke this morning."
"I didn't want to disturb you - you're sleeping later these days." She nods and takes a few steps toward the huge, ornately designed desk that separates them.
"I thought we could go together for our appointment with Dr. Brennan." His face reddens and his lips form a tight, straight line.
"I told you I would be there. I don't need an escort, Olivia", he snarls, tossing the document onto the desk. She inhales deeply again; she will not be baited into another argument.
"I know we agreed to meet there - I just thought afterwards we could have an early dinner — alone — down on the waterfront." He stares at her, the love of his life, the mother of his children, and he does not know what to say.
"What's the matter, Fitz? Tell me", she pleads and he stares at her a while longer.
"We should go", downing the rest of the soothing coffee then sliding on his suit jacket. He walks around the desk, intertwines his hand with hers, then walks from the office.
XXX
Before they left Mirage, Avril advised them to do three things to reduce the stress in their marriage: Fitz should hire someone to help him at the office. They should hire a housekeeper to help Olivia around the house. And, they should find a therapist in their area to continue the work they started with her. After much research, they found Dr. Brennan, who proved to be more orthodox than Avril, but met the needs of Fitz and Olivia. In the beginning, they were diligent about meeting weekly with Dr. Brennan. But after a while, one week turned into two; two turned into a month; and a month turned into nothing.
"Olivia — Fitz, it is so good to see you again", Dr. Brennan says when he enters the office wearing the familiar sweater vest Olivia finds endearing.
"Hello, Dr. Brennan. It's so good to see you again. Thank you for making time to see us on such short notice", Olivia says with a nervous smile as she shakes the man's hand.
"Of course, Olivia — anytime", extending a handshake to a stoic Fitz, which he accepts without enthusiasm.
"Have a seat — please", Dr. Brennan says, motioning his hand toward the well-worn, yet comfortable leather sofa.
"So — why are you two here today? What can I do for you?" Glancing back and forth at the couple with his warm brown eyes.
"Dr. Brennan, Fitz is having panic attacks", Olivia says quickly and without preamble.
"I see", Dr. Brennan says with a nod.
"I had one or two", Fitz says tersely and Olivia rests her hand on his thigh.
"Fitz - a panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. The symptoms usually last 10-15 minutes. Sometimes sufferers think they are having a heart attack. Is that what you've been experiencing?"
Fitz nods.
"Sometimes people only have one or two panic attacks in their lives, and occurs when they're under extreme amounts of stress or pressure. Have you been under any unusual stress and pressure lately."
"We all have stress", Fitz responds defensively, and Dr. Brennan nods.
"Fitz — you and your family experienced an extremely traumatic event several months ago. What happened was not an accident of circumstance. It was intentional. It was attempted murder."
Fitz and Olivia cringe because they never used those words to describe what Charlie did to them.
"Tell me how you handled the fact that someone tried to kill you and your family."
"I don't understand the question", Fitz says tightly. Dr. Brennan nods and Olivia nervously twists her wedding rings.
"I understand you've had occasion to take pain medications – opioids – after your recuperation."
"I only took them a few times. I no longer take them", Fitz says, swiping away a tiny piece of lint from his pants leg. Dr. Brennan nods and scribbles something onto the yellow legal pad.
"You say the first panic attack occurred at your vacation home. Is that correct?"
"That's correct", Fitz says, slowly nodding his head.
"Were you still in physical pain when you went to your vacation home?"
"No - I was feeling much better by then."
"Yet you took the pills with you?" Feeling cornered, Fitz turns crimson red and he clenches his jaw.
"As I said – I no longer take the medication."
Fully aware Fitz is not answering his questions and is being defensive, Dr. Brennan scribbles on the yellow legal pad and moves on to another line of questioning. He knows how far to push a patient, especially on the first visit.
"You two have very busy lives. Over the past year, Fitz — you started a new career in politics. Being in public service can be extremely rewarding —but I don't have to tell you it comes with its own set or stressors. Olivia, you are also now working in a new and demanding job. And now you're preparing to move to a new home."
Fitz and Olivia nod.
"Being over-scheduled, over-booked, and over-extended will contribute to stress. Fitz, when was the last time you did something you really enjoy?"
Fitz frowns and looks to the left at his wife, silently asking her when was the last time they did something fun.
"I mean you, Fitz. When was the last time you had fun — alone — without your wife — without your children?"
Olivia looks at Dr. Brennan skeptically, she does not like the question. Fitz continues to stare at his wife, and she squeezes his hand, encouraging him to answer the question. He clears his throat and looks back at Dr. Brennan.
"I love my family, Dr. Brennan."
"I don't doubt that", the doctor says as he leans back in the chair, doodles on the yellow legal pad, and waits for Fitz to answer the question.
"Well — we — I've been busy, as you've noted.", nodding at the yellow legal pad resting on Dr. Brennan's knee."
Dr. Brennan nods.
"Maintaining a healthy level of stress has many positive benefits - but there is a thin line between healthy and negative stress that we all cross from time to time. You have to take care of yourself, Fitz — do the things you enjoy as an individual - so you have the strength to take care of your family."
"Are you saying to stop the attacks I need to play?" Fitz says with sarcasm.
"In part — yes. Getting caught up in something you enjoy doing is a great way to relieve negative stress - it refocuses your mind."
"He's a fencer – used to be. Master of the Sword", Olivia chimes in.
"That was years ago, Liv."
"When was the last time you were on a piste, Fitz?"
"It's been years."
"Obtaining Master of the Sword is no easy fete. You had to be really good."
Fitz nods with a slight smile.
"You might want to think about getting back onto a piste — or rekindle another passion you let die – or even find a new one. Think about it. Well - our time is up for today. If you like - we can set up another appointment."
Olivia nods and pulls out her phone.
"Not you, Olivia. I would like to meet with Fitz— alone", smiling kindly at the eager wife.
Olivia glares at Dr. Brennan, then looks at her husband, waiting for him to object, waiting for him to say he needs her there. But he does not.
"I'll be fine, Liv", giving her a reassuring smile. Olivia stares into his eyes for a while, then drops the phone back into her purse. He has to do this on his own.