A/N: I know. I know. I am really late with chapter. Moving is no joke. It's a lot of work. I will probably be late with the next chapter, too. I hope you will wait for me – watch for me. Haha. Sorry, no A/Ns, I just wanted to get the chapter out. Here we go. Tell me what you think.
Chapter 63. The New Girl
Leaning back against the kitchen counter slowly sucking on the homemade cherry popsicle, Olivia has a direct line of sight to her husband who is once again trying to repair the old leaky copper farmhouse sink. The top half of his body lay inside the bottom cabinet and the lower half is stretched across the porcelain tile floor. For the past 45 minutes he has been trying to figure out the source of the leak. She shakes her head and sighs, she is tired of that old sink. In fact, she is tired of all the aging kitchen appliances. She glances over at Cena and Asha who are sitting on their knees with elbows pressed against the granite island top watching Fitz do battle with the plumbing and thinks about how much her life has changed in just a few short weeks.
Fairly or unfairly, Olivia has begun to measure her life from two perspectives: before Kelly's death and after Kelly's death. Before Kelly died life was good, both personally and professionally. In fact, life could not have been better. She and Fitz had long recovered from the shock of learning they were having twins. She was mentally prepared for the changes that two new babies would bring to their family and she was looking forward to the challenge of decorating the nursery that a boy and girl will share. Their pregnancy was progressing well and she had not exhibited any signs of antenatal depression. Perhaps that was due, in part, to relinquishing her need to control how her husband managed the household. Fitz does his best to maintain an orderly home and his best is now good enough for her. Professionally, she felt like she was on top of her game. Once she overcame the crippling self-doubt and negative self-talk, she was able to quickly decide which community organizations would receive the first grants from the Bryson Philanthropy. Life was so simple and easy a month ago.
Olivia sighs as she shifts her weight to her right foot and slowly slides the popsicle from her mouth, thinking everything is topsy-turvy. Instead of preparing to welcome their new babies into the world and enjoying the summer with her husband and children, she and Fitz are caring for the daughter of a woman with whom she had a casual relationship with at best. Never in her wildest imagination would she have thought that one year after enrolling Cena in Miss Ebony's Dance School for Girls and Boys that the mother of the little girl with the big brown eyes and long bouncy braids would be dead and the little girl would be living with their family for who knows how long. She hopes Chuck will find Kelly's mother soon so her life can return to normal.
"Dammit", Fitz growls with frustration when he bangs his head against the U-shaped drain pipe while sliding from under the sink.
Asha's eyes bulge wide and she slaps a hand over her mouth when she hears the expletive escape Baaba's mouth. She has never heard him use that word. Jolie laughs at the tone of her father's voice and Cena giggles. She has heard her father use that word many times.
"Babe - little ears."
With beads of sweat dripping from his forehead, Fitz ignores his wife's admonishment and tosses the pipe wrench onto the counter next to the sink. He runs his fingers through his hair thinking fixing the sink is not as easy as the plumber in the YouTube video made it seem.
"This is the second time I've fixed this sink in the past month", he grumbles with frustration.
"Apparently you didn't fix it the first time." The corner of his mouth twitch at his wife's sarcasm. "Maybe it's time to buy a new sink", casually suggesting the unthinkable. Fitz glares at his wife. What she is suggesting is sacrilege.
"Dada. Dada." Jolie squeals, stretching her arms toward her father, demanding to be loosed from her prison.
"We're not getting rid of this sink, Liv", walking over to the high chair to retrieve Jolie who is now banging her fists on the tray. "You remember your baths in that sink – don't you Jo?" Smiling reminiscently as he lifts his baby girl from the chair. Jolie grabs for her father's nose and Fitz turns his head from side to side trying to dodge Jolie's chubby hand.
"Well you have to do something – it's leaking like a sieve. I came in here the other day and there was a puddle on the floor. That sink is becoming more work than it's worth."
"Have you been putting things down the garbage disposal?" Eyeing his wife suspiciously.
"Things? What kind of things?" She asks with incredulity.
He does not know what kind of things, he is just flustered and trying to assign the cause of the leaking sink to something or someone.
"Don't try to blame me. Things are beginning to fall apart around here, Fitz."
"No - they're not. What else isn't working?" Always defensive of his beloved home.
"Haven't you noticed the oven takes forever to heat up? I hate using it anymore."
"I don't use the oven during the summer. I grill out back."
"That's not the point. This house is almost 10 years old - it's time to start replacing the appliances — and other things."
Fitz glances at the stove then stands Jolie onto the floor. Asha watches him slide the tablet from the granite island top and replay the video on how to repair a leaking sink.
"Babe — you can't think you can just watch a YouTube video and learn how to repair that old sink. You need experience and practice. Do you think someone can learn how to negotiate mergers and acquisitions by simply watching a video?"
Focused on watching the plumber demonstrate how to diagnose and repair a leaking sink, Fitz holds up a hand to silence his wife. Bored with her parents' discussion about the much-needed household repairs, Cena slides down from the stool. She is ready to play.
"Come on, Asha — let's go play in my room."
"I wanna stay down here", Asha says, intently watching Fitz crawl back under the sink.
"Why?" Cena asks, looking at her friend with disbelief. She cannot understand why Asha would want to remain in the kitchen listening to her parents discuss old appliances.
"I just want to", Asha replies, not taking her eyes off Fitz. Cena frowns at her friend then takes her little sister by the hand and guides her from the kitchen.
"Come on Jo — let's go play", Cena says in a sulking tone.
XXX
Like her mother and father Cena loves the water and it does not matter if she is swimming in the pool with her father or in the bathtub swishing around the bubbles when her mother is bathing her. When Olivia turns on the hand shower to rinse the conditioner from her daughter's hair, Cena shuts her eyes tight and sticks out her tongue to catch the water raining down over her head.
"Cee - you're going to need a trim", Olivia says as she glides the wide-toothed comb through her daughter's thick, curly hair.
"Is daddy going to do it again?" Kicking her feet up and down and sending the bubbly water splashing over the tub's edge.
Olivia shudders at the memory of the last time her husband attempted to trim their daughter's hair. He could not seem to get it even, so he kept whacking at Cena's locks until he sheared away four inches of hair.
"No — not this time, baby. Mommy's going to take you to the salon – where I get my hair cut."
"Mommy."
"Yes, baby."
"Why doesn't Asha like to play anymore? She just wants to be with daddy all the time", Cena says with frustration as Olivia wraps the plush pink towel around her daughter's head.
"You know how safe and loved you feel when daddy holds you on his lap or when he reads Goodnight Moon to you and Jo at bedtime?"
"Daddy doesn't read Goodnight Moon any more. He reads the new book that Asha likes."
"Daddy just wants Asha to feel safe and loved. She needs that right now because she misses her mommy. Do you understand?"
Cena nods her head up and down again. "Daddy is a good daddy."
"Daddy is a good daddy. Come on, baby — it's time to get out", wrapping the larger pink towel around Cena's body.
"I'm not a baby, mommy. I'm a big girl", Cena says with conviction.
"Of course - you are. Sometimes mommy forgets."
XXX
Olivia pushes open the door to One Step at a Time and Grayson is on his feet immediately. He slyly scans Olivia's stomach, thinking she looks almost twice as big as she did the last time he saw her.
"Olivia – it's good to see you. What brings you to this part of town?" Escorting Olivia to the metal chair in from of his desk.
"I was in the city today and thought I would drop by to check if you had an opportunity to sign the agreement."
"You didn't have to come all the way down here. I was going to drop it in the mail today", Grayson says, holding up the manila envelope that contains the agreement.
"It's not a problem. I want to release the first installment of your grant so you can continue your fantastic work."
"I – we – appreciate what you have done for us, Olivia. You're helping to save lives. Is something wrong?" Noticing the change in Olivia's expression.
"Grayson …. never mind', waving her hand indicating she has changed her mind.
"What is it, Olivia?" Sitting down in his chair. He can see something has the woman distressed.
"I didn't come here to talk about this – I really didn't" nervously rubbing her temple.
"Talk about what?" intrigued by the change in Olivia's demeanor.
"Grayson – a friend – an acquaintance - of mine died recently. She passed away from a drug overdose. I had no idea …"
"I'm sorry to hear that, Olivia. You shouldn't feel guilty not knowing about your friend's – acquaintance's - drug problem. We addicts hide it well until we can no longer hide it."
Olivia nods.
"Is this a recent death?"
"Yes - she died last month."
Grayson frowns as he rifles through one of the many stacks of papers on his desk.
"Eureka", Grayson exclaims when he finds the monthly report on drug overdoses and deaths he receives from the Office of Public Health. "You said your friend died last month?" Scanning the report, and Olivia nods her head. "Last month there were seven Speedball overdoses in the city. Three died and fortunately the other four were able to be saved – thanks to Narcan."
"Speedball? What's Speedball?" Furrowing her brow.
"It's a mixture of heroin and fentanyl. Drug dealers mix the two drugs to give addicts what some say is the ultimate high. The number of Speedball deaths in the city has increased threefold. There was a batch of this deadly drug on the streets last month when your acquaintance died."
Olivia frowns.
"Your acquaintance probably didn't know what she was taking. There is no list of ingredients on the packages of street drugs."
"Why would she be taking heroin anyway?" Olivia asks.
"I don't know her – of course – but there could be a myriad of reasons. Did she try heroin once out of curiosity and got addicted? Was she trying to numb herself from the challenges she was facing in life? Or was she - like thousands of others in this country - prescribed an opioid for a legitimate injury – and unfortunately - got hooked. When doctors stop prescribing legal opioids - those suffering from pain often turn to street drugs like heroin to achieve similar effects but at a cheaper and deadlier price."
Olivia stares at Grayson, realizing once again how little she knew about Kelly.
"Those who are struggling with addiction are going to use until they decide to stop or …." His voice trails off, leaving the only other option of death hanging in the air.
She nods with understanding.
"The city can make it safer for them to use, Olivia. Your husband – Council President Grant - can do a lot to reduce the deaths from overdoses."
Olivia tilts her head slightly; unsure what Grayson means.
"Olivia – if the city provides safe injection sites – places where addicts can use drugs under medical supervision - it will greatly reduce the number of overdoses in the city."
"I don't understand what my husband has to do with safe injection sites."
"The council president - or a council member - can introduce a resolution that calls for safe injection sites. This is a political matter."
XXX
During the summer months the people of Church Falls like to complete their outdoor activities in the morning, while the sun is still low in the sky. However, when one is trying to get three little girls ready for another field trip to the local farm, morning quickly turns into early afternoon. While Cena and Asha run around the farm searching the stands for their favorite fruit, Fitz shops for vegetables to complement the summer meal he planned for tonight. Cena selects mangoes, Asha selects peaches, and he buys bananas for Jolie. He also bought a dozen ears of sweet, bi-color corn because Asha said corn is her favorite vegetable.
"Daddy – it's hot - can we go swimming when we get home?"
"We can – after I prepare the food for dinner. WE want to surprise mommy."
"Yay", Cena squeals, bouncing up and down in the seat. Asha remains silent.
Two hours later after the food is prepared for grilling, Fitz and Cena are ready to cool down in the pool. Unable to join in the fun, Olivia reclines on the chaise lounge playing peek-a-boo with a giggling Jolie. Bowtie lay on the pool deck watching Cena and Fitz rollick in the water. Sitting far away from the pool's edge, Asha reclines in her purple Adirondack chair watching Cena and Baaba play in the pool. They look like they are having so much fun. Cena splashes water on Baaba and Baaba splashes water on Cena. Then they go under the water for a while and come back up laughing until they are red in the face. Asha wonders what it would be like to play in the water, but she does not know how to swim. There were no swimming pools where she used to live.
For her entire life, Asha's worldwas the five-block radius that composed the neighborhood called Tighlman. There was nothing remarkable about Tighlman, except for Charlie Barber, who once lived in the low-income neighborhood. Charlie wanted to become somebody. He wanted to become president of the city council, but he died on the side of a mountain somewhere up state. Some say he was decapitated. Whatever the case, in the end, the people of Tighlman realized that Charlie Barber was not remarkable after all.
Except the annual excursion with her mother to the Kidchella Children's Festival down at the pier, Asha had no awareness there was a bigger world beyond the boundaries of Tighlman. Everyone in her world was the same. All her friends attended the same school and lived in similar homes with their mothers. That was her normal and it was all good until the new girl showed up at Miss Ebony's Dance School for Girls and Boys.
Before the lesson started Miss Ebony told the children that a new girl would be joining the class and they should make her feel welcomed when she arrived. When the new girl walked into the dance studio with her mother, who had a big round stomach, all the children stared openly at the girl whose skin was the color of butter and eyes that were the color of the sky. The new girl stood close to her mother, gripping the strap of the red gym bag that hung from her shoulder while Miss Ebony introduced her to the class.
Over the next few weeks Asha could tell that Cena Grant was not like all her other friends - she has a mother and a father. Some days Cena's mother would drop her off and pick her up from class. On other days, her father would perform the duty. Whenever Cena's father entered the dance studio, Cena would rush over to him and he would have the biggest smile on his face as he swooped her up in his arms and covered her face with lots of kisses. Asha watched as he listened intently to Cena report, at rapid-fire pace, everything that happened in class.
Before Cena Grant started taking dance lessons at Miss Ebony's Dance School for Girls and Boys, Asha never once wondered what it was like to have a father. Her mother never talked about her father and most of the children in her circle, like her, did not have one, at least none that lived in the same house with them. It was a non-issue. But watching how Cena and her father interacted piqued Asha's curiosity about her own father. She wondered if her eyes are like his because Cena has eyes like her father. She wondered if her father is tall like Cena's father. She wondered if her father would also smile and toss her up in the air because he is happy to see her.
"Come on in, Asha. It's fun", Cena yells to her friend. Asha shakes her head from side to side. "Let's do it again, daddy", Cena screams with excitement, bouncing up and down in the water.
Bowtie growls slightly and Asha leans forward in the chair as Cena and Baaba disappear under the water again. Her heart rate speed up when the two remain submerged longer than usual. She looks nervously over at GoGo who is playing with Jolie.
"That was fun, daddy", Cena's yells, gasping for air and grinning from ear to ear when they pop up to the surface.
"It was, Princess – but I have to get dinner started", he says, brushing the water from his face.
"Okay, daddy. May I stay in the pool."
"You may – but remember — never-ever go in the deep end", reminding his daughter of the safety rules he taught her long ago.
"Never-ever, daddy", Cena yells as she begins to do flips.
Fitz grabs the plush yellow towel from the lounge chair and quickly dries the water from his body. He pulls the tee shirt over his head and walks over to Asha and tousles her braids. She looks up at him with the saddest eyes he has ever seen. He gives her an encouraging smile and she forces a slight smile in return.
"She's so sad, babe. Has Chuck found out any information about her grandmother?" Olivia asks when her husband walks over to the chaise lounge she is sharing with Jolie.
"No. I'm going to get the food ready for the grill", he says brusquely.
Taken aback by his curt response, Olivia tilts her head to the side and eyes her husband as he walks down the flagstone path toward the house. Asha stands quickly from her chair and runs down the path behind him.
XXX
"Whose ready for dinner?" Fitz calls out as he walks toward the picnic table carrying a huge tray piled with grilled chicken, shrimp, coleslaw, vegetables, including the corn-on-the cob. Asha carries the basket of dinner rolls.
"Babe — you've outdone yourself today. Everything looks fantastic", Olivia says, rubbing her stomach as she eyes the sumptuous spread of summer delights on the table.
"GoGo - I helped, Baaba", Asha smiles proudly.
"And you did a terrific job", Olivia says, smiling down at the little girl who is carefully setting the basket of rolls on the table.
"Cena – it's time to get out the pool. Time for dinner", Fitz calls out to his daughter.
"Okay, daddy", immediately swimming over to the pool's edge and climbing out.
As Olivia plates the food, Asha eyes the corn that is dripping with butter. She cannot wait to sink her teeth into it. She has loved the sweet taste of corn since forever. Forgetting about the loose tooth she has been waggling with her tongue for the past few days, Asha bites into the corn and the screaming pierce the evening summer air. Fitz is at her side immediately when he realizes what has happened.
"Aww - let me see", trying to coax the little girl to open her mouth. Asha shakes her head no.
"It's just a loose tooth. I have to remove it."
"No", Asha whines.
"The Tooth Fairy will give you money if you let daddy pull it out", Cena informs her friend, smiling to display the teeth missing from the bottom row of her mouth.
Asha looks up at Fitz with fright in her eyes and he nods, confirming his daughter's reporting.
"It won't hurt. I promise."
Fitz has learned from experience with Cena that one quick yank is best. Having to pull a tooth twice is painful for everyone. Olivia, Cena, and Jolie look on with anticipation as Asha slowly opens her mouth.
"Wider", he encourages the frightened little girl.
Asha closes her eyes and stretches her mouth wide. Fitz quickly yanks out the tooth with his thumb and index finger and Asha screams at the top of her lungs, more from shock than pain. Jolie laughs and claps her hand as Fitz wraps the tooth in a napkin and slides it into his pocket.
"Babe — take Asha inside and rinse her mouth with warm, salty water", Olivia says, resuming filling her plate with the summer fare.
"You're going to get money", Cena says with a smile as she nods her head up and down.
XXX
After all the excitement generated by Asha's pulled tooth died down and the girls are fast asleep, Olivia sits on the side of the bed preparing to perform her nightly routine. She reaches into the nightstand drawer, slides out the large jar of skin caviar, and smiles. No longer sensitive to certain scents the way she was during the early months of her pregnancy, she dips her fingers into the jar and scoops out a generous amount of the luxury body cream.
"Babe — I am so happy I can use my skin caviar again. I love my baby girl – but I was tired of smelling like Jo. When did you buy the new set?"
"I was going to give it to you months ago – but you said you couldn't tolerate the scent", giving her a look that says I'm glad we're beyond that phase.
"You're such a good husband", blowing him a kiss. "Don't forget to set your watch - you have to play Tooth Fairy tonight", smiling as she slathers the expensive cream on her arm.
"She was so scared when that tooth came out", shaking his head as he swipes his index finger up the tablet screen.
"Cee was the same way. Do you remember the time the Tooth Fairy couldn't find the tooth under Cee's pillow?" Remembering how her husband ran frantically around their daughter's bedroom searching for the tooth.
"How would I know she would wake up in the middle of the night and try to put the tooth back in her mouth?"
"Thank goodness she didn't choke on it", Olivia says, shaking her head. "It's such a shame Kelly isn't here to share those kinds of milestones with her daughter." Fitz simply nods his head. "Babe, I met with Grayson today to drop off the first installment for his grant. He said something interesting", rubbing the cream up and down her arm.
"What did he say?"
"He said there were several deaths from overdoses during the same time that Kelly died. He said people were dying from heroin mixed with fentanyl. They call it Speedball. He thinks Kelly may have gotten some of that batch."
Fitz remains silent. He knows about the number of overdoses because he called Chief Frederickson after Kelly died. He knows Kelly was a victim of the powerful drug. He has not shared that bit of information with his wife because he does not want to upset further.
"He said the city can reduce the number of deaths from overdoses by designating safe injection sites."
"NIMBY", he says and Olivia gives him a confused look. "Not. In. My. Backyard", punctuating each word with a kiss to her lips. "Nobody wants those places in their neighborhood, Liv. Residents are concerned about the types of people they will attract."
"Maybe if Kelly had a safe place to use drugs — maybe someone could have found her before it was too late."
"Don't do that to yourself. There isn't anything you could've done to save Kelly."
"Do you think the council would be amenable to passing a bill to open safe injection sites."
"I'm not going to introduce that bill, Liv."
"But — "
"We don't discuss business in our bedroom. Remember?" She frowns at the reminder of their agreed-upon rule. "Good night, Mrs. Grant", pecking her on the lips again before turning off his lamp.
XXX
Trying to speed up time, Cena sits on her father's lap turning the crown on his watch. She loves playing with his watch and her Gramp's watch, too. Cena looks up from the watch when her friend runs into the kitchen waving a five-dollar bill.
"Baaba — look what the Tooth Fairy gave me for my tooth. It was under my pillow", Asha says excitedly as she struggles to join Cena on his lap. Fitz sets Cena onto the stool next to him and picks up the smiling little girl.
"Wow — that's a lot of money", he says enthusiastically, staring at the gap in the top row of her mouth.
"Look -Cena. I have five dollars", waving the bill in Cena's direction. Cena remains silent.
"I guess you're going to need a piggy bank to keep all that money safe", Olivia says, smiling at the excited little girl.
"GoGo — can I have one like Cena's — but purple?"
"Of course. We can go to the store later and buy one."
"Yay."
Olivia and Fitz smile at each other, happy to see the light is coming back in the little girl's eyes, if only for this morning.
XXX
Olivia and the girls go to three different stores at the mall but she is unable to find a purple bank like the one she bought Cena years ago. After they leave the third story empty-handed, Olivia is getting tired and she could see that Asha is beginning to get upset. She knows she must do something fast to prevent another meltdown. When she spots the store where you can paint pottery, she knows she has avoided another crisis. Asha found the fattest piggy bank and painted it her favorite color. Cena opted to paint a peacock her favorite color.
Exhausted from their outing at the mall, Olivia waddles down the hall to the study to start the video-chat with her mother. Since Kelly died, she and Gwendolyn video-chat almost every night, after the girls are tucked into bed. Their sessions provide Olivia a safe space to share her concerns about the shifts in her life since Kelly died. Gwendolyn gets the chance to find out how her grandbabies are doing and check on her daughter's pregnancy.
"Livvia — with so much going on — I haven't had a chance to tell you how much I love your new hairstyle. It's so chic and sexy."
"Thanks, mom. I just don't have time to worry about hair. Frankly – it's the last thing on my mind."
"How does Fitzgerald like it?"
"He didn't at first. I think it's beginning to grow on him. No pun intended", she says with a slight chuckle.
"Well – change is good. And - it's good to spice up things in a marriage. Your father and I …"
Olivia covers her ears with her hands. "Mom — please. I don't want to hear about how you and dad spice up your marriage." Gwendolyn waves her hands dismissively.
"Don't pretend to be a prude, Livvia. You're not having two more children because you and Fitzgerald were holding hands."
"Mom — please." Discussing sex with her mother is uncomfortable and embarrassing. Perhaps because they did not talk about sex when she was a teenager.
"Tell me — how are my grandbabies doing?"
"Cee and Jo are fine. They're growing like weeds – of course. You won't recognize them by the time you and dad come back here."
"I can't wait to get back to the States to see them. We miss them so much. And how is that sweet Asha doing? How is she coping with her mother's death?"
"She's still sad— which is understandable - of course."
"Baby – she's going to need a lot of time and a lot of love to get her through this."
Olivia slowly nods her head.
"What's the matter, Livvia? Is everything all right with your pregnancy?"
"Mom — everything is a mess. Kelly's death has changed everything. I had no idea we would be taking care of another child."
"Baby — man plans and God laughs."
Olivia crinkles her nose.
"Livvia — despite our most careful planning — the road of life is unpredictable. We never know what lies ahead for us."
"Mom — I don't know what we're going to do? It's been a month and no one has come looking for Asha."
"Is Fitzgerald's friend still looking for her family?"
"Chuck hasn't had any luck finding the grandmother."
"That's odd that the F.B.I can't find a middle-aged black woman who lives in the Northwestern part of the country."
"I just hope he finds her soon because I'm exhausted.
"Livvia —let Fitzgerald handle the girls. You just concentrate on getting plenty of rest. When is your next checkup?"
"We see Dr. Perry tomorrow. We had to cancel our last appointment because of the funeral."
XXX
The couple sitting across from them nod with a smile when they recognize Council President Grant. Fitz returns the smiles then glances around the waiting room. Dr. Perry has completely remodeled the space. The dark, traditional Queen Anne-style furniture has been replaced by more sleek and contemporary décor.
"The waiting room looks really nice. Dr. Perry has done a terrific job remodeling this place. So much light now shines through the windows."
"Even Dr. Perry knows when it's time to upgrade, babe." Fitz sighs at the not-so veiled reference to their aging home.
"Asha was so excited to get five dollars from the Tooth Fairy", he says, steering the conversation in the direction he wants it to go.
"She was. You're going to have a lot of practice pulling out teeth over the next few years, babe", Olivia says with a smile. He leans closer to her and lowers his voice.
"I've been thinking - we have to take Asha to the dentist for a checkup. In fact – she needs a physical - an eye exam —"
"Slow down, babe. We don't know who her doctors are."
"We can take her to the girls' doctors."
"I'm sure Kelly has a pediatrician and dentist, Fitz", now lowering her voice.
"That doesn't do me any good if I don't know who they are. I'm sure Dr. Jordan and Dr. Pollack wouldn't mind taking on another patient."
With brow furrowed, Olivia stares at her husband thinking he is getting too involved with the little girl who is living with them temporarily.
"I've also been thinking - maybe you're right. Maybe it's time to update a few things around the house." Olivia looks up at him and smiles. "Not the sink", he adds quickly. "I'll handle that - but other things."
"Other things like what?" She asks with a degree of suspicion.
"We can remodel the kitchen. You can get that stove you liked at the house in the city."
"We need more than a new stove, Fitz."
"We'll make a list of everything we need. I've been wanting to exercise more — so I was thinking about converting the basement into a gym."
"A gym?"
The couple look up and stare directly at Fitz and Olivia, no longer pretending they are not listening to the conversation. Fitz clears his throat and lowers his voice to the point where Olivia can hardly hear him.
"Will you lower your voice. I told you — I gotta get in shape before the babies arrive. We should also have someone do the nursery. I know you want to do it — but we just don't have the time — not with everything that's going on."
Olivia nods, conceding she does not have the stamina to plan and design the nursery.
"You're right — but I want us to select the décor. I don't want a designer to design their dream nursery."
"Of course. Of course – whatever you want. I also think we should – "
"Mrs. Grant. Mr. Grant", the nurse calls out, scanning the waiting room as she balances the tablet in her hand. Fitz frowns at the interruption because he was close to presenting his big idea to his wife.
"We have to go back, babe. We'll finish discussing this later", holding on to her husband's arm as he helps her to her feet.
XXX
As Olivia buttons her blouse she realizes that it does not matter how many children she has, she will never get used to the poking, the prodding, and being spread wide open that comes along with her monthly examination. Another cost of being a woman she concludes as she finishes getting dressed. When Olivia enters Dr. Perry's private office, Fitz and the doctor stand while she settles into the empty chair next to her husband. She sets her purse onto Dr. Perry's desk and rests her hands on the arms of the chair, silently praying that Dr. Perry did not uncover anything during the examination. Fitz reaches for her hand as the avuncular-looking doctor positions the wire-framed eyeglasses onto the bridge of his nose and reaches for the tablet on his desk. Olivia smiles as Dr. Perry opens the tablet. Not only has he updated the physical office space, he has replaced the manila folders that were stuffed with pages of notes with a tablet computer.
"Bear with me for a moment. I'm still getting used to use this tablet."
Olivia and Fitz smile.
"Here we are", staring down at the screen. "Olivia — your temperature, blood work, urine analysis – all look good."
Olivia smiles and Fitz squeeze her hand. Dr. Perry looks up from the tablet, removes his glasses, and stares at the couple sitting across from him.
"However – your blood pressure is slightly elevated."
Olivia believes her heart skipped a beat. She does not want anything to go wrong with this pregnancy. Fitz would be devastated. She would be devastated.
"Is everything all right? With your history of antenatal depression - you must maintain a normal blood pressure. Are you under a lot pressure at work – at home?"
Olivia hesitates a moment, trying to find the appropriate words to respond to his questions.
"Olivia — you must be honest. You cannot hold on to feelings that could cause stress." Olivia slides her hand from her husband's and begins to fidget.
"A friend – an acquaintance - died recently. Her six-year-old daughter is staying with us until we find her family", Olivia says, and Fitz shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
"I see. I'm sorry for your loss – but Olivia — as you know - your physical environment can affect your pregnancy. It affects how you feel — what you think — and how you act. When the demands of the physical environment outweigh your ability to deal with those demands - stress occurs."
Olivia nods her head and Dr. Perry looks squarely at the couple and does not mince words. With their pregnancy history he will not coddle them.
"I am not trying to frighten you — but I cannot emphasize enough the importance of living in a stress-reduced environment. Notice - I did not say stress-free - that's impossible. But those things you can control— you must."
They both nod with understanding.
"You missed your last appointment. With all the added stress in your lives – you must make it a priority to keep your appointments. We're heading into homestretch – we don't want things to go awry at this point."
A bit more somber, they nod again.
Any questions?"
"No", Olivia says softly.
"What can I do to make sure Liv keeps her blood pressure under control."
"For the next few months - make sure your home life is as calm as possible."
Fitz nods again.
"Well – if there are no further questions - stop at the front desk and see Donna. She will schedule your appointment for next month."
"Thank you, Dr. Perry", Olivia says, reaching for her purse.
"Yes — thank you, Dr. Perry", Fitz says, extending a handshake to the doctor.
"Oh - I've sent the refill for your prenatal vitamins over to your pharmacy. It should be ready by the time you leave here.
XXX
Gerry has been in Portland with Nora longer than Maura expected. She did not think it would take longer than a week to get Nora settled into her new apartment and for her husband to return home. But it has been almost three weeks and, to her surprise, she has begun to miss the presence of her husband in their home. To fill the void, Maura goes to Fitz and Olivia's home a few times a week to help with household chores and the children. She was an enormous help to them during the days leading up to Kelly's funeral.
While Olivia and Fitz are at the doctor's office, with a little help from her assistants, Maura gives the house a much-needed deep cleaning. The sunlight that streams through the floor-to-ceiling windows in the family room is no longer blurred by little fingerprints and the long licks from the family pet. Everything sparkles. For all the grousing she does about wasting her life as a homemaker and her big talk about wanting to be a modern and liberated woman, Maura actually enjoys being a homemaker and taking care of people. She likes anticipating their needs and finding ways to make their lives easier. She has resigned herself to the fact that taking care of others is her personal calling, her God-given talent, and not something to be ashamed of.
Knowing that Fitz and Olivia will be starved when they return from their appointment, Maura turns down the pot of soup on the stove to a low simmer, then puts the finishing touches on the hearty salad she has prepared for their lunch. She has also prepared their dinner for the rest of the week, filling plastic containers with a variety of foods and storing them in the freezer. When she hears the alarm system chime, she quickly wipes down the counters and mops up the puddle of water on the floor in front of the copper farmhouse sink. She looks around the kitchen with a smile of satisfaction. Everything is perfect; clean, fresh, and bright as it should be.
XXX
Olivia rests a hand on her round belly and slowly looks around the space in awe. If it were not for the familiar furniture and family pictures, she would have thought she had mistakenly trespassed into someone else's home. Everything is gleaming.
"Maura —it looks absolutely wonderful in here. Everything is so clean and fresh", her eyes slowly scanning the room and appreciating that everything is in order. Fitz remains silent, his eyes also darting around the room.
"GoGo – I polished the table – but Cena didn't help", Asha says proudly as she points to the coffee table that reflects her face and long braids.
"Yes – I did. I put all my toys in the box, mommy."
"Wow — you two are such big girls."
"And GoGo — JoJo didn't help either — so I put her toys in the box."
"Miss Jo is a little too small to help clean — but thank you - baby for helping her."
"You two have so much going on — we thought we would tidy up a bit while you were out", Maura chimes in.
"You did more than tidy up, Maura. Everything looks wonderful. The house hasn't been this clean since …" Stopping short of uttering Hilde's name. Their former housekeeper is still a sore spot with her husband.
"Everything looks terrific, mom", Fitz says, pecking his mother on the cheek. "Thank you."
"I couldn't have done it without my little helpers - they do such a great job." Cena and Asha smile proudly at Olivia. "I'm sure you two must be starved. I have lunch ready in the kitchen and I prepared dinner for tonight and a few extra dishes for the rest of the week. Here's the list. All the containers are labeled in the freezer."
"Maura — you didn't have to", Olivia says as she scans the menu for the week.
"I wanted to. I have a lot of free time now that Nora and Gerry are in Portland. Besides — you two can use the help", glancing over at Cena and Asha. "Come into the kitchen and have some lunch."
XXX
"This is really good, mom", Fitz says, bringing another spoonful of soup to his mouth.
"You always liked my homemade tomato soup, Fitzgerald."
"The cobb salad looks terrific, Maura. Thank you", Olivia says, salivating at the tray filled with lettuce, tomatoes, sliced boiled eggs, bacon, and grilled chicken.
"You're welcome, dear. So - how did your appointment go?" Sitting down at the granite island top across from her son and daughter-in-law.
"Everything is fine", Fitz says.
"My blood pressure is little high. Dr. Perry wants me to be careful of the stress."
"I see", wondering what is causing Olivia stress, but she knows not to ask too many questions.
"Baaba — do you want to make a picture with me?" Asha calls from the doorway.
"Asha - you must wait for your turn when others are talking", Olivia says. Asha looks over at Fitz with sad eyes.
"I'm on my way", hurriedly stuffing the last of his salad into his mouth. Olivia glares at her husband because once again he is allowing Asha to disregard the family rules.
"Fitzgerald – that sink is leaking. I wiped a puddle of water from the floor just before you arrived", Maura says as if she is telling her son something new.
"Thanks, mom. I'm working on it", glancing at his wife before walking into the family room.
XXX
"So - how is Asha doing? How are the nightmares?" Maura asks with concern.
"They're happening less frequently. Fitz still checks on her a few times every night."
"She's such a sweet girl. It's a shame she has to deal with nightmares on top of everything else. Has her family contacted you yet?"
"I'm afraid not. I left our contact information with the building manager where Kelly lived – but nothing yet."
"You said Kelly hadn't spoken with her family in years. I'm sure they don't know she's no longer alive."
"I was just hoping …. I don't know what we're going to do, Maura."
"What do you mean?"
"I hope you don't think that I'm an awful person or insensitive — but I wasn't expecting to — nor am I prepared to take on another child for much longer. We'll have four of our own children around here in a few months — and I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to balance it all. I have a job and Fitz goes back to council in September. I can't raise a fifth child. Honestly — I don't want to."
"I understand — and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I raised four children and it certainly was not an easy task." Olivia slides her hand across the smooth granite and gives Maura's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Here I am going on about myself and I haven't asked about you. How are you doing with Gerry and Nora in Portland?"
"This is the first time in 45 years that I've been alone in my home. With Nora and Gerry gone — well — it's a big house, Olivia. Of course — I watched Raffles — Marion's cat while she and Bennie were on vacation– but they are back now."
"Have you given any thought to what you might want to do with your time?"
"I've put all that nonsense of becoming a liberated woman behind me when Nora returned home. She needed me. Now she doesn't", nervously stroking her décolleté.
"I understand."
"I hope you don't mind if I stop over every now and then to help out — spend time with my grandchildren— maybe prepare a few meals. You and my son have so much to deal with right now."
"Maura — you are welcomed here at any time. And please — do not feel you have to cook and clean when you do come", Olivia says, giving her mother-in-law a warm smile.
XXX
Jealousy manifests itself differently from person to person, and it can lead to impulsive or reckless behaviors and ruin relationships. Like adults, six-year-old little girls can also be bitten by the green-eyed monster, especially when they feel that something they value is being lost to another.
"Baaba — do you want to draw a picture with numbers?" Asha asks as she snuggles close to Fitz.
"I would like that very much", smiling down at the little girl as she turns on her tablet. After a few minutes Asha and Fitz have drawn a tree using the number one and a rabbit using the number two.
"Cena — look at the pictures me and Baaba made", holding up the tablet so Cena can see the tree and rabbit.
"It's Baaba and I. You don't know anything", Cena snaps at her friend. Face red with anger, Fitz admonishes his daughter in a tone that is unfamiliar to her.
"Cena —you're being rude. Apologize — now!" Cena pokes out her bottom lip and crosses her arms across her chest."I. Said. Apologize."
Olivia and Maura rush into the family room when they hear Fitz shouting. Cena runs to her mother and wraps her arms around her waist.
"What's the matter?" Olivia asks, looking at her husband for an answer.
"We'll discuss it later", he says in a somewhat irritated tone.
"Well – I guess I better get going", Maura says, glancing over at Fitz and Asha.
XXX
Fitz opens the bathroom door and the bedroom fills with steam. Olivia sighs. For the past 10 years she has told her husband to turn on the exhaust fan when he takes a shower. She watches the white towel drop from his waist and him step into a pair of pajama bottoms. Everybody seems to be falling back to primitive behaviors.
"What has you upset? Why is your blood pressure up?" His eyes filled with concern as he looks at his wife.
"With Kelly's death - there have been a lot of changes around here lately."
"Are you sure that's it. I need you to tell me if something is wrong, Liv."
"I'm fine, babe. What did you want to tell me at Dr. Perry's office – before we were called to back for my exam?"
Contemplating if he wants to discuss the matter right now, he walks over to his side of the bed and sets the phone onto the charger.
"Fitz –"
"Since we were discussing remodeling the kitchen and decorating the nursery – I thought – perhaps – this would be a good time to re-decorate the guest room that Asha sleeps in. She's not a guest, Liv. The furniture in that room is impersonal. It's for an adult – not a little girl."
Eyes filled with disbelief, Olivia massage her forehead. She feels a headache coming on.
"Asha should have a room that reflects who she is."
"Fitz, Asha is living with us temporarily. Chuck is going to find her grandmother", she says in a tone that she does not believe.
"And if he doesn't – find the grandmother?"
"Fitz –"
"We can just keep her, Liv. Asha can remain with us", finally sharing the thought that has been swirling around in his head for the past few weeks.
"You're joking – right?"
"It's been a month, Liv."
"Don't get too attached, babe. Asha needs to be with her family."
"She doesn't even know them."
"They're her family, Fitz — she will get to know them. Besides – it will best for everyone that Chuck finds her family."
"Why would you say that?"
"Cee and Asha seem to squabble about the most trivial things these days."
"They're just being kids, Liv."
Olivia shakes her head thinking the two girls arguing is more than children being children.
XXX
"Dammit", Fitz spews his favorite word when he removes the casserole dish he put in the oven over an hour ago and sees it is still as hard as a brick. He slams the oven door shut and Jolie claps her hands and laughs. She likes when her father says the funny word. Trying to figure out what to prepare for dinner, he looks around the kitchen thinking they have to buy new appliances sooner rather than later. He glances down at his watch and sighs; Olivia will be home soon. He will order pizza for dinner.
"Give him to me, Cena. He's mine", Asha screams as she tries to pull Freddy from Cena's hand.
"You play with my toys", Cena screams back, still tugging at Freddy's arm.
"My mommy bought it. You're going to break him", Asha screams with tears streaming down her face.
Drying his hands on a kitchen towel, Fitz rushes into the family room, frowning when he sees the tug-of-war playing out across the room.
"What's going on in here?" He demands as he looks back and forth between the two girls.
"Cena won't give me Freddy. She's going to break him."
"No — I'm not", Cena shoots back.
"Give him to her, Cee", Fitz says, walking over to the two girls.
"But, daddy — she plays with my toys all the time."
"Give Freddy to her", he says, simply wanting to end the latest battle.
Under normal circumstances Cena would obey her father without hesitation, but today she ignores his command and grips Freddy's hard plastic arm a tad longer than she knows she should. This is her way of protesting the changes that are happening in her home. Her father lets Asha do whatever she wants.
Cena watches her father drop down on one knee in front of Asha and wrap his long arms around her. She releases her grip on Freddy's arm and slowly walks from the room. Always the loyal friend, Bowtie follows closely behind Cena as she takes refuge in her bedroom. This has become the routine at the house as of late: Cena and Asha argue. Asha cries. Fitz reprimands Cena and comforts Asha. Cena goes to her room to play alone.
XXX
When Jolie hears the alarm system chime she struggles to her feet and scurries from the room to greet her mother. As Olivia sets her purse and keys onto the foyer table, Jolie runs toward her mother babbling mom-mom. Olivia smiles, bending down to scoop up an animated Jolie.
"Miss Jo - how's my baby doing?" Covering her daughter's face with kisses.
"Cee", Jo says, pointing toward the staircase.
"Were you and Cee playing? Were you playing with your big sister?" Tickling Jolie as she walks toward the family room.
Olivia smiles when she enters the family room and sees Asha sitting on the sofa next to Fitz playing with Freddy. She tousles Asha's braids and the little girl looks up and smiles. She pecks her husband on the cheek, crinkling her nose when she does not see Cena.
"How was your meeting?" Fitz asks, taking Jolie from her arms and kissing his wife on the lips.
"Good — informative. I'll tell you all about it later. Where's Cee?"
"Upstairs— in her room", not bothering to offer further explanation.
"Why is she upstairs?"
"We'll talk later. Are you ready for dinner? We're having pizza tonight."
"Are you hungry, Asha?" Olivia asks. Asha looks up at Fitz and he nods.
"Yes, GoGo."
"Go wash your hands while I check on Cee."
Asha looks at Fitz again and Olivia arches her brow, becoming increasingly annoyed that Asha first seeks Fitz' approval before obeying her directions. Bowtie is not the only one who has noticed the shift in dynamics in the house.
XXX
The Grant's home has become a flashpoint. The bickering between Cena and Asha seems to escalate with each passing day and Cena seems to always end up on the losing end. Waiting patiently for her father, Cena sits at the granite island top playing with the international dolls Nana brought her from Senegal. She tells the dolls that Saturday morning is her favorite day of the week because that is when her daddy makes his famous panny cakes. She tells the dolls she is going to ask her daddy if she can put extra cream on the top. Cena looks up from the dolls when she hears Asha come into the kitchen carrying Freddy close to her chest.
"You can't sit there", Cena warns as Asha struggles to climb onto the stool at the end of the granite island top.
"Why not?" Asha asks, still struggling to climb onto the stool.
"You know that's my daddy's chair."
"Why?" Asha asks, as she finally settles down onto the seat. She sets Freddy on the stool next to hers.
"Because he's left-handed", Cena says with frustration. Asha looks over as Fitz enters the kitchen with Jolie and Bowtie following close behind.
"Who's ready for panny cakes?" Fitz calls out, making a bee line to the coffee pot. He is in desperate need of a jolt of caffeine this morning.
"Baaba — can I sit here?"
"Of course - you can sit wherever you want", he says without a second thought as he fills the mug with the hot, black liquid. He smiles as he recalls the strong, spicy Café Touba his father-in-law enjoyed every morning.
"See — I can sit wherever I want", Asha says to an irritated Cena.
"I want panny cakes, daddy", Cena says excitedly. "And I want fruit and cream, too."
"Okay — two orders of panny cakes with fruit and cream coming right up", bringing the mug to his mouth as he retrieves his favorite frying pan from the cabinet.
"Baaba – can I have an omelet?" Asha asks, looking eagerly at Fitz with her big brown eyes. Cena grimaces because Asha is breaking tradition. They eat panny cakes every Saturday morning.
"Of course — you can have whatever you want", tapping Asha on the nose. "Come over to the refrigerator and show me what you want in your omelet."
Cena watches Asha climb down from the stool and run over to the refrigerator.
"I can't see, Baaba", standing on her tippy-toes trying to look into the refrigerator. Fitz picks up the little girl so she can select the ingredients for her omelet. "I want cheese – tomatoes - and cream."
"That's stupid - nobody puts cream on eggs", Cena says with disdain. Asha looks at Fitz, wondering if she has made a mistake.
"Cena Grant - you don't speak to Asha that way. Apologize. Now."
With eyes downcast, Cena pokes out her bottom lip and twists her fingers. Her father has never raised a hand to her, but the tone in which he said her full name feels like a stinking slap across the cheek.
"I'm sorry", she says softly, trying to fight back the tears.
"Baaba - I want pickles – too. My mommy always put pickles on my omelet."
"Hmm - pickles on an omelet. I might have to try that."
Asha smiles. "You can have some of mine. Okay?"
"Okay." He says with a smile.
"May I be excused, please?" Cena asks without looking up from her fingers.
Fitz sighs, hesitating a moment before allowing his daughter, who has been uncharacteristically rude lately, to leave the kitchen. He does not know what has gotten into his Princess.
"Yes - you may. Come back in a few minutes for your breakfast. Your panny cakes will be ready after I make Asha's omelet." He turns back to Asha with a smile. "We can put a little cream on your omelet — as a test — to see if you like it. Okay?" Tickling Asha's stomach. Asha laughs out loud and Cena climbs down from her stool and runs into the family room.
"Cee — have you finished eating breakfast already?" Olivia asks as she looks up from reading the report on the School Breakfast and Lunch Programs.
"No", Cena says, sulking as she crawls onto the sofa and lay her head on her mother's round stomach. Olivia looks down at her daughter wondering what is wrong.
"Daddy hasn't made panny cakes yet?"
"No. He's making Asha an omelet", she says in a pouty tone.
"Ah - I see. Daddy will make your panny cakes as soon as he finishes Asha's omelet. Okay?"
"Daddy gives Asha everything first. I want her to go home", poking out her bottom lip.
"Cee – why would you say that? Asha is your friend."
"No – she's not."
"Aww – Cee", Olivia says, rubbing her daughter's shoulder to console her.
"Daddy gives Asha everything first because her mommy did something bad and died."
Olivia's eyes widen and she stops rubbing her daughter's shoulder.
"What did you say?" Olivia asks, trying to maintain an even tone. She does not want to frighten an already upset Cena.
"Asha's mother was bad and she died. Now daddy gives Asha everything first."
"Cee - sit up - look at me. Why would you say that?"
"Because daddy gives Asha everything she wants first and I have to wait." Poking out her bottom lip.
"Cee — why would you say that Asha's mother died because she was bad?"
Cena freezes and stares at her mother with wide eyes. She has unknowingly let the secret slip out.
"Cee — tell mommy where you heard that Asha's mommy died because she was bad."
Realizing that her mother is upset, Cena's eyes fill with tears and her bottom lip trembles.
"I wanted to tell daddy that Asha was crying - and I heard you say Asha's mommy fooled you and daddy said Asha should never know", she confesses at rapid-fire pace.
"Did I say Asha's mother died because she was bad?"
"No", Cena says softly.
"Then why would you say that?"
Cena shrugs her shoulders.
"Use your words, Cee. Why would you say that?" Olivia asks, her tone more firm.
"Because bad people fool people – and bad people die", Cena says as the tears stream down her face.
"Aww, baby — that's not true. Asha's mommy was a good mommy. She wasn't bad at all. She didn't die because she was bad. I'm so sorry that you misunderstood what I said - but you mustn't say that again - okay?"
Cena nods her head and Olivia wraps her arms around her daughter.
"And, Cee — you mustn't listen outside of mommy and daddy's bedroom again. That's not polite. Okay?" Stroking her daughter's thick, curly hair. Cena nods and slides a thumb into her mouth
"Mommy – when is daddy going to like me again?"
"Cee – baby - your daddy loves you very much. Do you remember when daddy and I told you that Asha no longer has a mommy?"
Cena nods.
"And we said because Asha no longer has a mommy she was going to be really sad?"
Cena nods her head again.
"We don't want Asha to be sad - so daddy is giving Asha a little extra attention. Is that okay?" Cena shakes her head from side to side.
Fitz walks from the kitchen, stopping in the doorway when he sees his daughter cuddled close to her mother. He frowns when he sees that Cena is sucking her thumb. She has not sucked her thumb in a long time.
"Cee - your panny cakes are ready. Come eat breakfast."
Cena looks up at her mother and Olivia nods, giving her daughter an encouraging smile and sliding the thumb from her daughter's mouth. Cena climbs down from the sofa and runs past her father into the kitchen. Fitz gives his wife a baffled look.
"We have to talk, babe", patting the sofa cushion.
"What is it? What's going on?" Slowly sitting onto the sofa.
"A lot. Cee knows about Kelly."
"What?" Glancing toward the kitchen. He does not want Asha to overhear their conversation.
"She doesn't really understand what she heard. She thinks Kelly died because she was bad."
"My god", running his fingers through his hair. "When did she - how did she?"
"She overheard us talking in our bedroom. I helped her to understand that Kelly was a good mother and she did not die because she was bad. Babe, there's more. Cee is upset – not about Kelly. I should've expected this – seen it sooner", she says with a far-off look in her eyes.
"Expected what? Seen what?" His eyes filled with confusion.
"The rivalry. The competing for your attention — for your affection. Cena is jealous."
"Jealous? Of what?" He asks with surprise.
"Not what — but who. You're giving Asha too much attention. She wants Asha to go home."
"What? They're friends — BFFs."
"Babe, Cena isn't used to sharing you — and Jo doesn't count. We prepared her for Jo — but Asha — well that's different. I know you're trying to make Asha feel safe and loved — but you're causing Cee to feel left out. Your Princess feels like she's been dethroned."
"That's ridiculous. Is that why she's been misbehaving lately?"
"Both girls are constantly vying for your attention — but Cee keeps losing."
"Cee knows I love her. She understands that Asha needs more attention right now."
"She's six — Fitz. She understands no such thing. She doesn't like that you give Asha everything first – which in her minds means you love Asha more."
Fitz sighs, shaking his head as he glances toward the kitchen again.
"Asha doesn't have anyone else, Liv. She didn't choose this. Her mother died and in a matter of hours her whole life was turned upside down."
"Cee didn't choose this either - none of us did. This has to stop, Fitz. You have to find Asha's grandmother."
"Baaba", Asha calls from the kitchen. He closes his eyes and sighs.
"We'll finish talking about this later", standing quickly and hurrying into the kitchen. Olivia throws her hands up in frustration.