Kensi stared at nothing, her hand absently scratching Monty. She reached for her phone, the ring trilling loudly in the silence. Her mother's number, oh how she was dreading this. Since last night, her mom had called her twice, both times she had let voicemail take it. The messages were short; emKens, it you want to talk just call me. I love you. /emUnable to speak to anyone now, she once again let the phone call pass. Her eyes noticed the time, nine thirty on a Friday night. One week had passed. She realized that it was around this time last week, her world had begun to crack. The things Nell had shown her, the things she had said and done. Less than a day later, the life, the world she had built with Deeks over the last seven years, had crumbled around her. It two days, she had hurt the most important person in her life. And after last night? Kensi feared it was really over. The pain on Deek's face, her heart broke all over again. The terror she had felt, seeing him nearly crash into that car as he sped away, the heartbreak of him believing she didn't want him. Monty whined, nuzzling her hand. She began to cry softly, burying her face in the dog's neck. She didn't know how to fix this. And what scared her more than anything…what if Deeks didn't want to fix this? "Monty, what am I going to do?" He had no answer, just snuggled closer, trying to comfort his second favorite human./p
Henrietta Lange stared at the phone, now silent in her hand. She once again found herself at the Mission on a Saturday. The team had spent all of yesterday, searching for their detective. Eric and Nell, both of them reaching out to contacts, came up with nothing. He had once again vanished, screaming away on a motorcycle. She could only imagine what was running through his mind. Seeing…what he had seen.
After watching her broken detective roar away, and seeing Kensi break down in tears, her first task was clear. "Agent Gibbs, Agent Dinozzio, I do believe it would be best if both of you were to return to DC. Your presence here, while I have no doubt was meant to help, seems to have just made things worse."
Gibbs had agreed, both agents apologizing and making plans to leave that very night. Gibbs spoke to Hetty privately, asking for an update when she had any news. She had promised, and the two agents drove off, regretting not being able to help.
She had then made her team go home. Kensi, adamant about staying at Deek's apartment, refused to hear anything else. Nell had offered, but Hetty had taken her instead. They had pulled up, Hetty accompanying Kensi to the door. It barely opened, Monty barreling out, his target a bush to the side. Returning he, greeted both of them, then turned, whining and searching for his number one human./
"Miss…Kensi, I am truly sorry for the events of tonight. I wasn't thinking, and should have known what seeing agent Dinozzio would do. I really believed we could reach Mr. Deeks…" her voice tracing off.
"Hetty, I'm to blame. It was my actions that started all of this. If I had just…" her voice faltered, silence settling on them.
"Take tomorrow to rest. Regain your strength. When we find Mr. Deeks, then you can begin to put everything together."
Kensi nodded, thanking her of the ride, following Monty in. Hetty pulled away, her car speeding down the road, hoping that everything emcould /embe put back together. Her team was in serious danger of dissolving, and at that moment, she didn't have the answer to fix it.
Now, today, she was in full Henrietta mode, reaching out to her contacts, enlisting others, calling in favors, anything to find Mr. Deeks. To bring him back. There was the possibility he would quit, walk away and never be heard from. He was skilled enough to do that. If that was his decision, she would respect it, as much as it broke her heard to think about. But, she wasn't going to let him go without a fight. Her contacts now on the job, she realized she had done everything she could. Now she had to wait. And hope her family hadn't torn itself apart to the point it couldn't be fixed.
Julia Feldman stared at the e-mail, reading the same sentence for the third time. Her eyes wandered to her phone, hoping Kensi would call. Friday morning, Hetty had let her know what had happened between her daughter and Marty. Purposefully vague on details, it was apparent to Julia that whatever had happened, it had been bad. She had thanked Hetty, immediately hanging up and calling Kensi. After leaving a voicemail, she had paced, her worry growing. Before turning in, she had called once more, telling her to call or come by if she wanted to talk. Julia tossed and turned most of the night, wondering what had happened. They were just starting to really find their footing with each other. They talked more. Kensi had come around to visit more often, a few times bringing Marty along. She could tell they were in love. The glances they gave each other spoke volumes to Julia. Really to anyone who was around them. The feelings both gave off, she remembered those days herself. And Julia was convinced that over time, those feelings would only deepen, growing stronger. Falling asleep, she wondered what would happen if this problem couldn't be fixed. How that would effect her daughter and Marty.
Shutting her computer, her mind to preoccupied to focus on trivial things, she debated calling again, her thumb hovering over Kensi's name. Maybe she should go see her instead. Kensi couldn't ignore her If she was standing at her door. Settling on her course of action, she walked through the kitchen, making her way to the bedroom. She would change clothes then
Her doorbell rang, startling her from her thoughts. Frustrated, slightly annoyed at the interruption, she turned, opening the door.
Kensi stood outside, wondering what she was doing. She had almost fled, to ashamed to really face anyone. Yet here she was, standing outside her mother's home, Monty beside her. The door opened, revealing Julia, a look of surprise on her face, quickly turning into happiness. Everything slammed into Kensi seeing her mother. The sobs came again, she rushed into her mother's arms, her tears flowing harder than ever. Julia, now shocked, and a tad frightened, pulled her daughter into her arms, patting her leg for Monty to follow. She had met the lovable mutt once, after Kensi and Marty had stopped by for a visit after bringing Monty back from the vet. She noticed the dog never leaving her daughter's side, pressing himself against her.
"Momma…I…I messed up Momma. I messed up and I've lost…lost him," Kensi began breathing heavily, hyperventilating as anguish began taking its toll.
"Baby girl, look at me." Julia held Kensi's face, breathing slowly. "Breath with me Kensi…just breathe." They stood there, Julia finally able to calm her down. An arm around her waist, she led Kensi into the kitchen, settling her at the table. Moving quickly, she found a box of tissues, placing it and a glass of water before Kensi. A bowl of water was set down for Monty, grateful he woofed, lapping his fill, returning to Kensi. Julia waited, letting Kensi gather herself. When the tears had stopped, unable to stop the thought of fleeing rising on her face.
"Kensi Marie Blye don't you dare!"
"That shook her, shaking her out of herself. "You only use all three names when I'm in trouble," she whispered.
"And you only call me 'momma' when you scared or hurt."
"Kensi shrugged, conceding the point. Her hand fell to Monty, the dog whining, moving closer to her.
"Does Marty know you have his dog?"
"Kensi ducked her head. "He will when he read the note I left him
Julia laughed, making Kensi smile slightly. "Oh baby girl, Hetty called me yesterday. Something happened, she wouldn't tell me a lot. So, you're here, and clearly upset. Talk Kensi. Tell me everything.
Kensi stared, they had been closer, and both were beginning to open up more, learning to trust each other.
"Kensi, just talk to me ok? I just want to help."
She started speaking, telling her mother everything. Her actions that led to Deeks being mentally tortured by his own father. About Brandel, goading all of them on Monday. And Thursday, Deeks seeing them all, thinking the worst. She left nothing out, baring her heart, the pain still fresh. When she was done, her eyes were red, fresh tears still brimming in them. Tissues lay across the table, scattered and shredded. The shame stopped her from looking her mother in the eyes. Julia had sat, listening, her emotions all over the place. Joy that she and her daughter were finally really connecting. Pain for Kensi, who clearly was broken about what she had done, and for Marty, who's world had been turned upside down. Anger, at a father who would do that to their own child. She stood, clearing the tissues, throwing them away before re-filling Kensi's glass, filling one for herself.
"And no one has seen or talked to Marty since Thursday?" Kensi shook her head.
"Kensi look at me." She moved closer, waiting for her daughter to raise her head. Finally, their eyes locked, Kensi seeing worry and love reflected back. Neither said a word, just staring. Taking a hand in hers, Julia squeezed, trying to reassure her. "Do you love him? And before you answer, think about it."
It was a few minutes before Kensi answered, actually taking the time to search herself. "Yes, oh God yes mom. He's the only man I think I've truly ever loved.
"Ok, you're staying here tonight." She held up a hand, shutting down any argument. "Monty, you're staying as well." They laughed as Monty woofed softly, laying his head on Julia's knee. She gave him a scratch, silently marveling as he moved back to Kensi. "How much sleep or food have you had since all this happened?"
Julia moved to the refrigerator, taking out bowls. Two plate appeared, both she began filling with food. "Your going to have a good meal, then you're going to take a hot bath." She placed a pill from the cabinet on the table. "Then you're going to go to bed, and get some true rest. That's a sleeping pill, it also helps with your nerves." Kensi began to protest, her words falling on deaf ears.
"Kensi, you need to sleep honey, you're exhausted, and your nerves are shot." She looked at her daughter. "You need to be at your best mentally and physically, if you're going to get Marty back."
For once, Kensi didn't argue, actually enjoying being taken care of. Another slight smile found her face.
"What's so funny?"
"Deeks does that too. Puts his foot down, and when he takes care of me." She wiped her eyes, standing to help.
"You sit. A mother has the right to help her daughter.
Soon, Kensi was full, her eyes heavy as the exhaustion caught up with her. She had remembered to bring food for Monty, who ate with them. After her bath, she let Julia put her to bed, her body sinking into the soft sheets. Steeply, she grabbed her mothers hand. "Thanks mom. I love you." She said, before the pill and sleep took her.
"I love you to baby girl," Julia whispered, smoothing her hair, a kiss on her forehead. "Monty," she patted the bed, the dog jumping up, lying beside her daughter. "Take care of her." He whined, his tail thumping softly. She pulled the door closed.
Julia stood, her mind working. She had things to do.