No one really knew what to say. Hetty sat quietly, letting the other three process what they had just heard. Sylvia's eyes never left Kensi, silently sizing up the woman who, according to Hetty, had Marty's heart, no room or need for anyone else for him.
A slight frown from Kensi, a thought that had bitten deep. "That's what he meant when he…" She broke off, her eyes moving around the table.
"Continue Miss Blye."
"Back when Deeks first started, we had a case, we played an engaged couple looking for rings. Before, when we were planning in the bullpen, I said the guys would never know what that little blue box means to a girl. Deeks said he did know. We became so busy, I forgot about it until later. Just thought it was Deeks being Deeks."
"Marty and I were engaged for six months Kensi. This was when he was still a patrolman. I'm the reason he chose undercover work. Well, one of the reasons at least." She huffed out a breath, signaling the waiter for a refill. She turned to Hetty, a note of envy in her voice. "You were right, she's so in love with him, it's practically pouring from her."
Kensi blushed, causing Nell to laugh. "Oh you have no idea," she smiled at her friend. "The chemistry between them, even before they were a couple…the whole building could see it!"
Sylvia leaned forward, eyeing the woman who had won Marty's heart. "And from what Hetty said, you messed up, badly."
"I did," she admitted, her honesty still surprising Nell, knowing how Kensi tried to deny when she was hurting. "I never meant too, but I did all the same. And now," her breath hitched, forcing her to pause. "Now I may lose him."
Julia chimed in. "Kensi, no you haven't. He's agreed to talk to you. That's something sweetheart."
"Then you haven't lost him. If he's willing to talk, then you have a chance to save what you have." Sylvia shook slightly. "How about we order, so I can get my thoughts together. They agreed, each one perusing the menu, wondering what Sylvia had to tell them. Before the waiter began taking their orders, Sylvia glanced at Kensi. "I know you didn't cheat on him.
"No! And I never would!" Kensi bristled, her anger rising quickly.
"That's good. That's the one thing that will make him walk. I know that from first-hand experience," she remarked, sadness in her voice. Just then, the waiter appeared, Kensi, Julia and Nell's mind reeling, full of millions of questions.
Later, their lunch served, Sylvia steered the conversation away from her earlier statement, promising to tell her story, but not wanting to ruin her meal. Kensi, being the patient, level-headed person she was known for, tried repeatedly to get Sylvia to talk. Unfortunately, nothing would work, the woman as maddening as Hetty could be.
Sylvia pushed her plate back, signaling to the waiter who returned, swiftly clearing the table. "Anyone for dessert?" She asked./
"No, i'm fine."
Nell and Hetty, stared at Kensi, her sweet tooth legendary./
"Sylvia, perhaps you should tell your story. I'm afraid Miss Blye here is about to combust."
"Very well, but just so we're clear. I repeat this here, once, and I never talk about it again. My favor to you is done, I owe you nothing else. Are we clear?" Hetty assured her once more that their debt would be squared.
"Marty and I met at a traffic accident. He was working, clearing up an argument between two men who'd had a small fender-bender. Tempers were flaring, and I was at lunch with a small group of friends. We thought a fight was about to break out, when Marty walked up, his uniform just fitting him perfectly. He had shaggy hair, not long, but over his collar. Scruffy beard, that really in a way looked perfect on him." She paused, staring at the distance. "I never did figure out how he could do that. Anyway, we watched as he calmed both men down, easing the tension. Once the show was over, I walked right to him and asked him out." She looked at Kensi. "You know that you're never really prepared for the smile he can give you." Kensi smiled, nodding in agreement. Even now, seven years later, that smile could still make her knees weak, and make her feel so loved.
"Well, he said yes, then just about knocked me over with that smile. We dated for almost a year. Then we became engaged. That was a good time for both of us. Marty was learning to be a better police officer, even starting to study for his detective's badge. I had returned to school, gaining my Masters in business. We were happy, busy but happy."
Her mood darkened, fingers absently playing with the wedding ring on her finger. "I had opened a small clothing store. Business was good, taking off steadily. Marty was a week away from taking the Detective's exam. That week, we had not seen that much of each other, me at my business, he pulling doubles and studying. It was a Friday night. I remember because my girlfriends had invited us out with them. When Marty came home, I could tell, looking back, he was worn out. I wanted to go out, to unwind and have fun. Marty didn't, just wanting for us to stay in, spend some time alone. He…even promised me that Saturday, we could do anything I wanted. It would be our day to do anything. I refused, adamant that I wanted to go out that night."
Sylvia motioned for the waiter, her glass refilled. The others waited, already mostly knowing what was about to be said, fascinated and horrified all the same. After taking a large gulp, she resumed. "I went out that night, without Marty. God help me, I had fun. I danced, guys lining up to just have one dance with me. I flirted, shamelessly, no-one was beneath my radar. Later, I was about to leave, one more drink at the bar, and this guy I had danced with walks up. You would think I could remember his name, but for the life of me I can't." Sylvia shifted in her chair. "My friends tried to stop me, but I went home with him, spent the night at his place." She grew silent, her eyes staring at the table, her voice low. "Marty knew the moment I walked through the door the next morning.. I saw his face crumble, saw the pain he felt. He never raised his voice, just asked me why."
Nell was in tears, her heart breaking for her Shaggy, even after all these years had passed. Julia, her hand over her mouth, wanted to find Marty and give him another hug. Hetty was silent, the only indication of her feelings a small frown on her face, a slight tick at the corner of her eye. Kensi was mesmerized, her emotion jumping from her own stupidity at causing pain to Deeks, to realizing she would never have had Deeks if the woman in front of her, pouring her heart out, had stayed home that night.
"I was still angry that he stayed home, instead of being with me. I said some things, hateful things, then took the ring off, telling him it was over, that I wanted more out of life than to be the wife of a cop. Actually threw the ring at him." She wiped her eyes, her mascara starting to run. "He placed the ring on a table beside the couch, telling me it was mine. Then I watched as he packed his things, placing the key beside my ring, and left. I haven't seen him since." She sniffed, quietly blowing her nose, clearing her eyes of tears. The others had similar reactions, even Hetty dabbed at her eyes.
"Most of my friends wouldn't even speak to me for a long time after that. They adored Marty, and couldn't believe I would be so stupid. I found out weeks later, Marty had passed his exam, becoming a detective. He began working undercover soon after."
She cleared her throat, her eyes meeting the other women. "I met my husband twelve years ago. I have money, influence, everything I thought I wanted. I will never want for anything. The price I pay? My husband rarely touches me, barely tells me he loves me. My children are strangers. My friends? Some of the most vapid people you have ever met. I can vacation anywhere in the world, buy whatever I want. But my 'marriage' has become nothing but a business deal. People look at my life and their envious. They don't know, that to have all I do, I hurt the one man who really loved me."
The tears were flowing freely now. No words were said, all of them trying to get themselves back to a semblance of calm. Sylvia stared at Kensi. " I don't know exactly you did, and I don't really want to know. If he's willing to talk, to try and work through whatever it is, then you take that. Take it, and do everything you can to fix it. I'm living proof, losing Marty, it's a hurt you never get over."
Kensi nodded. "I know, I haven't spoken or seen him in a week, and it hurts so much."/
"Try feeling like that for years. That pain never really goes away. And you know what really hurts? If I were in trouble, and asked for his help, he would give it. It would hurt him, but he would do it. That's just the man he is." Sylvia rose, looking at them all. "I hope I've helped you Kensi, I really do. I…I wouldn't wish this pain I feel on anyone. Now, I'm going to the ladies room to freshen up, then I'm leaving. I wish you good luck Kensi." She stopped and turned. "You know, I'm a little jealous of you. You have a chance to hold on to one of the really good men out there." With that, she left, leaving the four women sitting at the table.
After lunch, Kensi drove to her mothers' house, trying to process what she had heard. Deeks had been engaged! She really wasn't that surprised, he was a good man, and to catch him, any woman would be happy. Which just made her actions that much more inexplicable. She had him, of that she was positive. One look in his eyes, and she could see forever. No games, just the two of them, building a life. So what made her flirt with a man who she had zero interest in? Why would she do that, in front of Deeks even, when she loved him? She pulled into the driveway, her mind buzzing with questions. Julia, already home, was standing outside, Monty happily patrolling the yard, searching for his next spot. Kensi's phone rang, her face paling as she read the number. "It's Deeks," she whispered.
"Hello," she answered, her voice low, shaking. "Deeks?"
Silence, then a voice she missed so much. "Hey Kensi."
His voice! The last time she had heard that voice, it was full of anger and pain. Now, he sounded….
"I'm at my apartment. I believe it's time we talked."
She leaned against the car, her knees weak, as the reality of what might happen hit her fully. "I have something better in mind," explaining her plan to him. Praying he would agree, staring at her mom, she exhaled, a true smile breaking across her face in a week. "Great! That's great Deeks! Let me get some things together, and I will pick you up." He agreed, asking about Monty, Kensi assuring him Julia would look after him./
Julia, excited this was finally happening, readily agreed, telling him not to worry, Monty would be just fine with her.
Saying goodbye, Kensi fell into her mother's arms, crying as she hugged tightly. "I don't know what to say!" She sniffed, now terrified of facing him.
"Honey, just be honest, tell him what you feel, and this will work out. You two are meant for each other. Trust your heart Kensi." She smiled, stroking her frightened daughter's hair back. "I know you're scared, but he's worth it. Your Kensi Marie Blye, a woman in love, who made a mistake. Now, you fix it, and both of you grow stronger."
Kensi leaned forward, pressing her forehead to her moms. Finally, Julia pulled back. "Ok, go inside, get cleaned up. You've go a lot to do before you pick Marty up."
"Three hours later, Kensi pulled up to Deeks' apartment, more nervous than she had ever been in her life. On the other side of that door, one she had walked through numerous times, the man she loved, who she wanted to marry and maybe one day have children with, stood, hurt and possibly angry. She looked at herself in the mirror, checking one more time. "He's yours, and you're his. Now, you have to prove it to him," she told her image. Kensi stepped out, walked to the door, and knocked.