Deeks heard the knock, the sound freezing him, staring at the door. Kensi was on the other side, he could feel her there. His hands on the door knob, slowly he opened it. And there she was, looking as beautiful as ever. Only Kensi could turn a pair jeans and pull over t-shirt into something sexy. Both stared at each other, neither quite knowing what to say or do, now that the moment was here. Deeks, snapping himself out of his trance, spoke first. "Hey, come in Kensi." He stood back, letting her enter, feeling strange about the action. In the past, both had walked in, no invitation needed or expected. They both had keys to each other's apartment, even their clothes were scattered between the two. And that was before they had even started dating. Inviting the woman who meant everything to him into his apartment, just felt…awkward.

Kensi felt just as awkward, this being the first time in two years she had actually knocked before entering. Then was when he was tortured, when she was desperate to reach him. Needing to help him recover, so she could have her best friend and partner had realized, even back then, she was in love with him. Now, here she was again, knocking on his door, after his torture at the hands of his father, trying to get him back. Only this time, she had helped with causing him pain. Not on purpose, but had played a part all the same.

"Are you sure Julia doesn't mind taking care of Monty?" Deeks was worried about his fuzzy friend, not having seen him in over a week.

"Absolutely. When I mentioned the boarding house you usually take him to, she refused. Monty would stay with her. We need to get some of his things together, and we can drop them off on our way. Still slightly surprised, they quickly gathered up toys and food, Deeks jotting a few numbers down, mostly his vet, and the boarding house if Julia had to leave suddenly.

Soon It was time to go. They had decided to take Kensi's car, it having more room, and Deeks knew Kensi really hated not driving. Twenty minutes later after dropping off Monty's things, and Deeks being attacked by Monty, they were on the road, heading to a small torn outside Mammoth. That had been her first idea when Hetty had Julia suggested they both get away from everything and everyone, but she quickly dismissed Mammoth. The time last year they had spent there, that was special to both of them, and Kensi didn't want to mar that with…whatever might happen.

"Explain to me where we're going," Deeks said, turning to her as Kensi drove. He understood the need for them to be alone, but couldn't figure out how Kensi knew the place.

"Lake Nichols," she answered smiling at him. "It's a small lake, set in the town of Collinsville. Population of around three hundred. Mostly families on vacation, a few full time residents, but they have cabins at the lake, and we're going to be staying in one of them."

"And you know about this how?"

"Hetty."

Deeks smiled. "Why did I even ask?"

"Apparently, a friend of hers has a cabin that she loans to Hetty. Since the friend is in Europe for six months, Hetty gave us the keys, and told me to tel you it's ours to use for the next two weeks."

Deeks lapsed into silence, usually not an unpleasant experience for them. Both could 'talk' without words, but since she arrived at his door, he had barely made eye contact. Add to that, he hadn't kissed or touched her, her nerves were frayed. She missed his hands on her, even just the light grazes he used to let her know he was there. Kensi wanted to talk now. Right now, and get her explanation out there. Normally impatient, now she waited, holding herself until they arrived at the cabin. She had realized this was to important to rush. One wrong word, from either of them, and her dream would be torn apart. The thought that had kept her up nights, now run through her head, making her hands shake.

She could lose Deeks.

The moment that possibility sank its claws into her mind, she had cried out, hugging Monty like a lifeline. Losing Deeks terrified her, more than when he was shot, or tortured by Sidirov. Both instances still shook her, but they were things outside her control. This was her fault. Not completely, but her actions set the tone for his father to torture him.

The trip was uneventful, both steering clear of what they needed to talk about. An unspoken agreement, to wait. Soon, the road that led to the cabin came into view. Deeks' shoulders seemed to relax. They pulled up, the sun setting off the lake, the forest ready to settle itself down. Grabbing their bags, they walked beside each other, Kensi wanting to reach out and grasp his hand. The windows were already open, letting the fresh air inside, the breeze playing with the curtains. Briefly, they explored, commenting on the space. A rather large living room, opening up to a mid-sized kitchen, which led to a huge back deck, a view of the lake before them. Comfortable, hand crafted furniture sat all through the cabin, some clearly antiques. A large bathroom, set off from the main bedroom, and that was it.

Kensi became nervous as they entered the bedroom, unsure if Deeks would want to share a bed with her. "If your not comfortable, I…we can…"

"This will be fine Kensi," he state, dropping his bag on the floor.

"I'm just going to the bathroom."

Deeks nodded, his eyes following her as she closed the door.

The door clicked, Kensi's head meeting the wall. He was so cold, so detached. And quiet! Many of the people at the Mission didn't call him 'Motormouth Marty' because it was simple funny, which it was. He never stopped talking, and now he just…She sighed, relieving herself after the long drive, then splashing cold water on her face. "This has to work," she told herself in the mirror. "It has to!" She couldn't see her life with Deeks not in it. After all these years, just the thought gave her chills.

After the long drive, and the late arrival, both Kensi and Deeks were worn out. The silence, the tension, that was between them didn't help. Kensi left the bathroom, walking through to the kitchen, silently watching as Deeks put away the groceries. They had stopped at a store, a few miles from the cabin, stocking up on essentials. Quietly, they filled two shopping baskets, the usual banter between them absent. After paying, splitting the bill, Deeks asked her to wait, telling her he had forgotten something. Five minutes later he was back, placing the bag in the back. "Some essentials I forgot," answering the question on her face.

Now, the bag he had gone back for lay on the counter. She nearly cried, noticing its contents. Candy, chips, sweets filled the bag. All her favorites. He had bought them, making sure she had her sugar fix. "Deeks…" she began, her voice choking back sob.

"Kensi, we're both pretty wiped out. So let's agree to talk tomorrow, after we've had some sleep. Right now, we're fried, I don't think either of us would be what we both need to be. So, let's eat, then get some sleep. I…tomorrow, I want to talk."

She agreed, knowing that when the sun rose tomorrow, what she said, what she did, would determine if she got her life back, the life she wanted or if her old lonely life would be forced back on her. Kensi hoped and prayed it was the former. The latter she wasn't sure she could survive.

Five the next morning saw Deeks staring as Kensi slept. Sometime in the night, she had nestled against him, her leg thrown over his, her arm around his waist, her head rising and falling as he breathed. It was so…perfect. Just like it had been for over a year. Questions stomped through his mind. His heart knew what it wanted. To lean down, take her lips and kiss until they both couldn't breathe. His head, kept replaying her and Dinozzio, how she acted with the agent. Kensi murmured, her hand rubbing his waist. He waited, dreading for her to speak. One name, that would be all it would take, to either have him stay, or go. She shifted, her leg rubbing up his, the familiar tingle she gave him coming back.

"Deeeks," she whispered, tightening her grip when he moved. He watched her face so peaceful, his heart beginning to mend itself. Right then, he knew he would forgive her. Knew that somehow, they would work through this. But he wanted answers. And he was determined he would have them.

The smell woke Kensi, the familiar aroma of breakfast being cooked. Her stomach grumbling, she made her way to the bathroom, finally awake enough to remember…Deeks! They had turned in early last night. Around two in the morning, she had woken, staring at Deeks as he slept. He looked like he belonged there, beside her. She eased to his side, molding herself to his body. A sigh, her body relaxing against his, feeling the rightness of them together. She held her breath, feeling his hand on her back. Silently wishing… her heart hammering as his hand came to rest on her waist, the familiar comfort of her being held engulfing her. She had snuggled deeper against him, one last look at his face. The tears couldn't be held back as she watched his nose began to twitch.

Smiling at herself, she walked to the kitchen, the smell drawing her. Deeks was setting plates out, the food still cooking. "Good morning sleepyhead," he greeted her.

"Good morning yourself," she relied, standing and watching. A thought struck her. Deeks was the only man she had dated, who actually cooked for her. Not even Jack had done that. It was always dinner at a restaurant, or something quick, never a meal at home. "Need any help?" She moved to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"No thanks, I'm almost done."

She nodded, a sip of caffeine waking her fully, she sat down watching as he loaded their plates, scrambled eggs, bacon and toast looking delicious. Why she had ever risked losing this feeling, losing him…she shook herself. Deeks noticed, frowning slightly. "Something wrong?"

"Just wondering how I got so lucky." She smiled, digging in as they ate in silence, the mood calm.

After breakfast, the dishes washed, and kitchen cleaned, they took a walk, their path taking them around the lake, small areas dotting it's shore with picnic tables, fire rings for cooking. They walked slow, enjoying the peace and quiet.

"It's nice here," Deeks commented softly, not willing to break the mood with undo noise.

"God, isn't it," she agreed, breathing deeply of clean fresh air.

They stopped, both of them resting on a huge boulder, worn with age and weather, the lake just feet from them.