Continuing with his quest to fill out the rest of his Character Sheet, Seth decided to head for the South Park Church. Eventually reaching the Church, he entered it, and found Father Maxi sitting inside.
"Hey, Father Maxi." Seth said, greeting the good reverend. "Can I ask for your help with something?"
"Hello, my child!" Father Maxi greeted. "I understand that you are here for guidance?
"Yeah, I gotta be honest, I kinda feel lost. I don't know who I am sometimes." Seth admitted.
"But you've come at a crucial time. South Park is sliding into moral decline! Someone's stealing our cats! They're TPing houses!"
"Uh... That doesn't all seem bad." Seth said.
"OK, maybe it's not full-on Armageddon yet, but we do need a hero. Not to make the hard sell, but... do you see yourself as a good person?" Father Maxi asked.
"Yeah, I think I'm good." Seth answered.
"Well I can understand the confusion, but there comes a time when we need to choose our path." Father Maxi explained. "Will you find Jesus and take the righteous path? Or maybe you'll walk the middle way? Let's not talk about the third alternative."
"You mean Satanism?" Seth asked.
"Yes, I'm hoping you're part of the solution, not the problem." Maxi answered.
He then walked over to a door on the left side of church and opened it.
"Take the first step, my child, by entering this meditative chamber which will allow you to confront your deepest fears..." He said.
"My fears...?" Seth asked nervously.
"Yes! Only through entering this door will you truly be able to find out your true identity!" Father Maxi answered. "Face your fears, my child, face you fears!"
Gulping a bit, Seth entered the dark room, with Father Maxi closing it on him. A voice is heard in the background, startling him.
"Your dad fucked your mom..." The voice of The Coon said.
"C-Cartman...?" Seth called out, scared as he could hear his voice, but couldn't see him.
"You afraid of the dark? Snakes? The color blue?" The voice of Mosquito added.
"C-Clyde?!" Seth called out again, getting even more scared.
Just then, a Visitor passes through, from the left of the screen, mooing before quickly leaving. By this point, Seth looked pretty terrified.
Now came a priest, who approached Seth, startling him and causing him to scream like a girl.
"Oh hey, I am in your imagination. There's no need to be afraid." The priest, Father McManus assured. "I'm just a friendly Catholic priest who would like to get to know you a little better."
Another priest, known as Father Hansley, also approached Seth.
"Yeah, that's right, I'm totally in your imagination too, about to give you a shoulder rub." He said. "Ever imagine you'd feel something like this?"
He then proceeded with his shoulder rub on Seth, who was no longer scared and was now confused.
"Uh, what?" Seth asked.
"Let me adjust the lighting in here a bit so we can get some visuals with that..." McManus declared as he turned the lights back on.
"Dude, get the fuck off me!" Seth shouted, as he pushed Hansley away and prepared to do combat against the pedophile priests.
"Oh, I guess this one likes it rough." Hansley said.
"No complaints here!" McManus added.
"That's it, I've had enough!" Seth declared, as he proceeded to attack McManus.
"Oh my!" He exclaimed. "Oh, I guess you wanna do it the hard way. We were hoping you'd welcome this chance to atone..."
"And you too!" Seth added, as he attacked Hansley too.
"Oh my!" He also exclaimed. "Oh, I like that!"
After this, McManus pulled out a set of anal beads from his ass.
"God's grace is... totally filling me." He said. "I've got God's love here, who am I gonna give it to?"
"Oh good God!" Seth reacted in disgust, moving far away from him.
"Don't be shy, there's no reason to hide..." McManus replied.
"Yes there is, you sick, fucked up freaks!" Seth retorted. "You fucking perverts!"
Hansley then prepared an attack of his own, where he proceeded to start whipping himself.
"Just... let me get warmed up." He said. "Almost ready to cover you in God's love!"
"The fuck?!" Seth exclaimed.
"Oh yeah! He is risen all right!" Hansley replied. He must have gotten a boner.
Hansley then executed his attack, but Seth was out of the danger zone.
"What the devil? Vanished into thin air!" He reacted in surprise.
"Enough of this pedophile shit!" Seth retorted, as he proceeded to finish off both priests.
After Seth defeated the priests, Father Maxi opened the door. As Maxi turned on the lights, he was shocked to find the two priests on the ground.
"Goddammit! I can't put a child in a dark room for two minutes without you bastards showing up!" He said angrily, as he shoved the two priests out of the room.
"You're definitely going to Hell. Now get out of here!" He demanded.
"That's not what the Queen Spider says." McManus said before leaving.
"I'll go say ten Male Hairies!" Hansley added before also leaving.
By then, both priests had left, and Father Maxi turned towards Seth.
"Well, gosh, I feel just awful about all that." He said in a regretful tone.
"It's alright, Father." Seth assured. "That whole experience before those guys showed up was pretty scary though..."
"Tell you what, a rabbi friend gave me this macaroni picture." Maxi replied before handing over a picture of the Star of David crafted with macaroni.
"What's this?" Seth asked curiously.
"In times of trouble and tribulation, use it to call upon the prophet Moses." Maxi explained. "Good luck on your spiritual journey, my child.
"Sure! Thanks for the help, father! God bless you, testify and all that stuff." Seth replied, as he waved goodbye to Maxi and headed out, now equipped with a Macaroni Picture, enabling him to summon Moses for help.
Now with that out of the way, Seth headed to the school to see Mr. Mackey. While there, he saw his close friend and possible(?) love interest, Annie Knitts standing in the hallway. Upon seeing Seth, she greeted him.
"Hi, Seth!" She said happily.
"Hey, Annie, how's it going?" Seth responded, greeting her in return, as the two friends hugged each other.
"What are you doing here?" Annie asked.
"Oh, I scheduled a weekend appointment with Mr. Mackey today." Seth answered. "I wanna talk to him about personal issues. What about you?"
"Actually, I just came from Mr. Mackey's office too I was about to leave actually." Annie replied. "You're probably going to see him for the same reason I just did."
"Ah, okay. I won't ask for any details then." Seth said.
"Thanks. By the way, what's with the weird costume you're wearing?" Annie asked curiously.
"Oh, I'm playing a superhero game now. I'm part of a team with Cartman, Kyle, Jimmy, Pip, Craig and Clyde." Seth answered.
"Wow, that sounds cool!" Annie said in response. "I hope that I can play this game with you sometime."
"I'd love to do that, but I don't know if Cartman would allow me to let you play with us, since you're a girl." Seth admitted. "No offence."
"Why not? Heidi plays that game with Cartman too." Annie replied.
"Wait, Heidi's a superhero? I know her and Cartman are an item, but I have honestly not seen her in the Coon Lair." Seth replied, which is really true.
"She said she wanted to be a superhero to be just like Cartman." Annie explained. "She's on her own a lot when doing missions, but she is around most of the time."
"Hm... Maybe I'll see her some other time?" Seth thought. "Anyway, I better get on, and go see Mr. Mackey. Good to see you though, Annie."
"You too, Seth!" Annie happily replied, as she and Seth embraced once more.
After his brief conversation with Annie, Seth headed for Mr. Mackey's office, knocking on the door.
"Who is it?" Asked Mr. Mackey, who was seated at his desk.
"Uh, hi, Mr. Mackey? It's me, Seth." Seth answered. "We planned on having a talk today?"
"Oh, hi, Seth. Thanks for coming." Mackey greeted. "Come in, have a seat."
Seth did so, entering the office and sitting on the chair in front of Mackey's desk.
"I just wanna say that I appreciate you letting me have this talk with you, considering school's not usually open on a Sunday." Seth said.
"Oh, it's perfectly fine, I live here anyway. Now, as your counsellor, you can talk to me about anything, m'kay?" Mackey replied. "Now, I understand you wanna talk about, sex?"
"Yes." Seth answered. "It's not weird, is it?"
"No not at all. M'kay, see, I'm highly trained in uh... sex issues, m'kay, and you don't have to be afraid." Mackey assured.
"I'm...not really sure what you mean." Seth admitted.
"M'kay, Seth, it's really simple when, uh... when you wanna talk about your sex, you simply... you can start by simply saying, you know, I'm a... I'm a boy, or a girl or other." Mackey explained.
"Well, I'm obviously a boy." Seth stated.
"Boy, right, exactly, you got it. Now, Seth, this might get confusing but listen close, m'kay." Mackey said. "If you were born a boy, that's called being a cisgendered boy, m'kay, or cis for short."
"Never heard of that term before, but I digress." Seth replied.
"But, well, you might have transitioned into being a boy. You see what I mean?" Mackey continued. "If you were not born a boy, but now identify as one, well, that's called being transgendered, m'kay. Or trans for short, m'kay? So, erm, do you identify as being cisgendered or transgendered?"
"Cisgendered." Seth answered.
"Ok... Can you just hang on a minute? I need to call your parents." He said, getting up to make a phone call. "This will just take a second."
He picked up the phone and talked to Kelly, Seth's mother.
"Uh, hello, this is Mr. Mackey, the school counsellor. Yes, hi, uh, I have your child here in my office and well, he's just let me know that he's cisgender. That means he identify with the sex he was assigned at birth." He explained to her.
There was a short pause after he told her this.
"Oh, you knew that? M'kay. Well, no, no, it's fine, I just wanted to make sure that you knew he had other options. You know, you don't... you don't always have to go with the first hand you're dealt, m'kay." He continued. "Yeah, no, that's... that's great. That's great to know. I think I can really maybe be of help from here on out. Thank you very much, m'kay. Bye-bye now, m'kay."
He hung up the phone, and returned to his seat to talk to Seth.
"What did they say?" Seth asked.
"Your mother said that they knew you were a cisgender male, and that she's willing to let me help you out with whatever issues you may have." Mackey answered.
"Oh, well that's nice." Seth replied warmly.
"Well, I'm really glad we had this talk. As a cisgendered male myself, I know how hard it can be out there for a boy who chooses to love someone of the opposite sex." Mackey added. "Just remember, love is love. Even if you're a guy who happens to like titties. M'kay."
"Yeah, thanks for the help, Mr. Mackey. I appreciate that." Seth replied in a thankful tone, as his character sheet was soon updated to display his sex/gender as a Cis Male.
"Just... Just be careful, m'kay." Mackey warned. "Cause there's... there's a lot of people out there who don't accept you for what you are, and you're gonna have to deal with them, m'kay. So, hmm, but, come see me anytime!"
"Sure! Thanks again, Mr. Mackey!" Seth said as he left his office and proceeded to head outside.
As Seth left the school, he was approached by a group of rednecks in a pickup truck.
"Well, well, well. If it ain't a cisgendered boy!" The first redneck, Eddie stated as the trio left their truck.
"Uh... Hi, inbred members of society! How are you?" Seth greeted awkwardly.
"We don't take kindly to your types around here!" Added Skeeter, the second redneck, not to be confused with the owner of the bar.
"I'm sorry, what?" Seth asked in shock.
"Let's welcome this thing to our town!" The third one, Cleetus declared.
"Mr. Mackey warned me this would happen... Alright, bring it on, you racist hicks." Seth retorted.
With that, the battle with the rednecks began. Conveniently enough, Human Kite, Gentle Man and Mosquito all arrived to assist Seth.
"How'd you guys know I needed backup?" Seth asked.
"I sensed it with my Kite Sense." Human Kite answered.
"And where's Super Craig?" Seth added.
"After his behaviour at Raisins, we decided to leave Super Craig for the time being." Gentle Man replied. "Besides, he's currently at the coffee shop, most likely involving Tweek."
"Course he is..." Seth muttered. "Alright, let's get 'em!"
"Not so fast, gender terrorist!" Skeeter retorted. "I'm gonna punch you straight, just like I did Dale that one night in '94!"
He then proceeded to attack Gentle Man, damaging him.
"Oh my!" He exclaimed.
"If you actually read the Constitution, you'd understand that it's my patriotic duty to fuck you up." Eddie added, as he tried to also attack someone, but was stopped by Seth.
"Stay down, clown!" He stated.
"What is a cisgender, anyway?" Skeeter asked.
"You're cisgender, dick!" Human Kite answered angrily.
"I ain't cisgender, I'm normal!" Skeeter claimed in response.
Annoyed, Human Kite zapped him with his laser. Mosquito soon after had his turn, but he felt reluctant to do anything.
"I don't even want to bite these guys. What if I get contact drunk?" He worried.
"Don't be scared, bug boy! It's just a little taste of your future!" Cleetus replied.
Afterwards, Mosquito reluctantly attacked Cleetus, causing him to bleed.
"Them grits looked a lot better goin' in." He said in response.
Gentle Man soon after beaned him with his dodgeball.
"This is bullcrap!" He added.
Mosquito then proceeded to sting both Eddie and Skeeter.
"This means I get to go back on disability? Hallelujah!" Eddie stated.
Seth then used his Triple Burn on Cleetus, giving him the Burning status.
"I'm burnin' like that Bible bush!" He exclaimed.
"Hope you're happy, gender terrorists!" Skeeter added.
Eventually, the rednecks were defeated, and the three other Coon Friends left. Seth soon after received a video call from The Coon.
"Hey, Fart-Lord, you're doing great. Really quality character sheet stuff happening here." He said.
"Well, I did tell you I aim to please." Seth replied. "So what's next for the Legendary Outlaw?"
"This isn't the wild west, Douchebag. Anyway, I've got a super secret mission for you. Head over to the new taco shop on Main Street and...buy me a taco. COON OUT" The Coon replied before instantly shutting the call down.
"...That's it?" Seth asked in confusion.
With no response, he sighed and headed for the taco shop, known as Freeman's Tacos. But little did Seth know that that visit would be a very important moment in his life...