After his encounter with Morgan Freeman (and Sonata Dusk) at Freeman's Tacos, Seth headed back to Cartman's house after being asked by The Coon to do so.
Upon typing the code, he entered the Coon Lair, finding not only The Coon, but also The Coon's/Cartman's girlfriend, Heidi Turner sitting next to him, wearing an outfit similar to The Coon's, only with a cat theme instead of a raccoon one. It appeared Annie was right about her being a superhero. After seeing Seth approaching them, The Coon greeted him.
"Ah, Fart-Lord! Come, take a seat." The Coon requested.
"Hey babe, is this the new guy you was talking about?" Heidi asked.
"Yeah, babe. He's sort of my protege. The Robin to my Batman, if you will." The Coon answered.
By this point, Seth had gone over to his seat. He then addressed the pair.
"Uh, are you gonna introduce me to what I assume is Heidi's superhero persona?" Seth asked.
"Ah, yes, where are my manners?" The Coon remembered. "Fart-Lord, allow me to introduce you to the Coon & Friends' second-in-command, and totally not secretly my girlfriend, The Kitten!"
"Meow~! Hello, Fart-Lord~! I'm The Kitten~! It's nice to meet you, nya~!" Heidi, or I should say The Kitten greeted. She spoke in a cutesy tone similar to an anime catgirl, or a neko.
"Uh... Hey, Heidi." Seth awkwardly but politely said in response.
"Kitten." The Coon corrected.
"Kitten..." Seth said in annoyance. The Coon eventually broke up this awkward moment by speaking to Seth about his exploits.
"Alright, well... How's it going out there?" He asked.
"Pretty good. Had a few incidents involving some pissed off Raisins Girls, paedophile priests and sexist rednecks, but it's been mostly fine." Seth answered.
"Did you get me that taco I asked for?" The Coon questioned.
"No, I forgot about it due to the presence of Morgan Freeman." Seth admitted.
"Okay, good talk." The Coon replied, slightly miffed about his lack of taco. "Uhh, well listen, taco failure aside, I think you show some potential. And uh, I'm gonna upgrade you to somebody's sidekick or something. Congratulations."
Seth was slightly disappointed, but he nonetheless accepted his fate, as The Kitten cheerfully applauded his promotion.
"I just maybe wanted to talk about your superhero character a little bit." The Coon added.
"Alright, man, what are you thinking?" Seth asked.
"Um, your character...sucks to be honest." The Coon admitted. "And I think I'm gonna let you duel class. Let's pick another ability to add."
"Another class, huh? This is interesting..." Seth said in response. He looked quite intrigued.
He was then given some options for a second class, along with a few new options, including a Cyborg, Elementalist and Psychic. Liking the looks of the power, he chose the Cyborg class.
"I'll take the Cyborg one, that looks cool!" Seth declared.
"Okay, I think those two will work nicely together." The Coon agreed.
"Yay for double powered Fart-Lord, nya~!" The Kitten cheered.
"But now, we're gonna need to change your backstory too." The Coon stated. "So let's go back again to that fateful night. Back when you were little."
"I'm not gonna walk in on my dad fucking my mom again, am I?" Seth asked sarcastically.
The Coon ignored his question, and the result was yet another flashback, much like the first one, except with a random baby added to the mix. The result was the same; Seth beat up the three intruders with his Cyborg powers, and found out that his dad had fucked his mom.
"Goddammit..." Seth muttered as we cut back to the present, where The Coon looked sorry for Seth.
"That's heavy, man. I'm really sorry." The Coon said in a sad tone.
"Sure you are..." Seth stoically replied.
"Poor Fart-Lord, nya...~" The Kitten added sadly.
"I know you probably want to know why. WHY your dad fucked your mom." The Coon continued. "But those are answers you'll have to find for yourself."
Just then, an alarm went off inside the Coon Lair, getting everyone's attention. The Kitten, apparently using her feline instincts, yelped and hid under the table.
"Coon and Friends alert. Coon and Friends alert. Seriously, guys. Alert. Alert." The computerised voice, which was really just Cartman, said.
"Oh shit, what's happening?!" Seth asked, a bit concerned.
"It's a Coon and Friends alert!" The Coon answered, going over to his computer to speak with Human Kite. "This is Coon, what's happening?"
"It's the Freedom Pals!" Human Kite replied frantically.
"What have they done now?" The Coon questioned.
"Just get to Main Street! HURRY!" Human Kite implored.
"We're coming! COON...OUT!" The Coon declared, as he turned the monitor off. By this point, The Kitten had come out from under the table.
"Well, Fart-Lord, looks like you'll be needing those new found powers." The Coon stated. "FOLLOW ME! YOU TOO, KITTEN!"
"I'll scratch those meanies right in their balls, nya~!" The Kitten stated in a determined tone as she followed The Coon out of the basement, with Seth following soon after. They soon ended up in the living room to Cartman's house.
"No time to waste, Fart-Lord!" The Coon said as the trio headed outside.
"Where are we going?" Seth questioned.
"This way, Fart-Lord, towards the bus stop. It's the quickest route." The Coon replied.
"Onward towards battle, nya~!" The Kitten added as she followed her "boyfriend" close behind.
"Coon, what's going on?" Seth asked, wanting to know why they had to deal with these Freedom Pals.
"My Coon Sense is on fire!" The Coon explained. "Freedom Pals are on the move! A confrontation is brewing."
"What is this, some kinda Civil War or something?" Seth surmised.
"Yep~! The Freedom Pals are a bunch of meanies, nya~!" The Kitten confirmed.
"...Why are you talking like that, Heidi?" Seth asked.
"Cause I'm a kitty cat, nya~!" The Kitten cheerfully answered. She must be really into her character unlike the others.
"Uh-huh... How come I hadn't heard from you before?" Seth asked, noting her prior absence.
"I was doing super kitty cat things and beating up some meanie bad guys, nya~!" The Kitten claimed, although that might not have been true. She probably just had a prior engagement.
The trio eventually made it towards the end of the block, and The Coon spoke up.
"Yes, this way... Keep going... towards the bus stop..." He stated. "Man, escort missions are the worst."
Not sure what he was talking about, Seth shrugged it off, and he and The Kitten followed The Coon to the Bus Stop.
"So close..." The Coon said, standing on top of the South Park sign. "Head towards Main Street, Fart-Lord! And gird your loins for battle!"
Seth complied and went on ahead, with The Coon and The Kitten following close behind. Once the trio made it to Main Street, they saw the rest of the Coon & Friends; Human Kite, Fastpass, Gentle Man, Super Craig and Mosquito, facing off against the Freedom Pals, which consisted of Kenny, Karen Stan, Tweek, Token and Timmy, better known by their superhero personas; Mysterion, Phantasma, Toolshed, Wonder Tweek, Tupperware and Dr. Timothy. Among the stand-off, Super Craig and Wonder Tweek were seen having an intense argument.
"We were supposed to be a duo! Remember, Tweek!?" Super Craig argued.
"Yeah, I remember! So when I walked out of Coon & Friends, you should have walked out with me!" Wonder Tweek argued back.
"I like Coon & Friends!" Super Craig stated.
"That's because you had your own movies!" Wonder Tweek replied.
While they were arguing, Seth, The Coon and The Kitten regrouped with the other Coon Friends.
"We're here, what's happening?" Seth asked.
"Craig and Tweek are currently having quite an intense argument." Gentle Man answered.
"Thank God you guys are here. They're really going at it." Human Kite added.
"Super Craig HAD to have movies before Wonder Tweek was introduced! It made no sense otherwise." Super Craig explained.
"Your whole group makes no sense!" Wonder Tweek exclaimed.
"Because you're a traitor, Tweek, and now, you're with a group of super traitors!" The Coon retorted.
"Traitors...? Guardian Angel, are we the bad guys?" Phantasma asked Mysterion in a timid tone. Her outfit looked quite similar to Mysterion's, only with a more brighter and girlish color scheme and no hood.
"No, Phantasma, WE'RE not the bad guys..." Mysterion answered in a reassuring tone, before facing The Coon angrily. "This was started by you! By people who thought there should be preferential treatment to certain heroes!"
"We aren't the ones who walked out of the fucking franchise, Mysterion!" The Coon yelled back.
"But you're the ones who tried to make all of us look like a bunch of jackasses with your shitty franchise plan!" Toolshed interjected.
"Fuck you, Toolshed! What kind of superhero persona is that anyway!?" The Coon retorted.
"It's better than Gentle Man." Tupperware replied. "I mean, it's just Pip dressed as a shitty Captain America but without a mask or a shield. That's lame."
"Hey, I resent that remark, sir!" Gentle Man stated angrily.
"...Is that Kenny?" Seth asked quietly regarding Mysterion. Nobody answered him.
Shortly after, Dr. Timothy approached the Coon & Friends and pressed his hand to his head, giving a serious expression and talking in a voice VERY similar to Sir Patrick Stewart.
"Eric... You must listen to me." He said to The Coon. "Right now, I'm speaking to you telepathically."
"Get out of my head, Timmy." The Coon demanded.
"Your franchise is going nowhere." Dr. Timothy continued. "Face the truth, Eric. You guys are kind of douchebags."
He then reverted to his usual stupor.
"What just happened?" Mosquito asked in a confused tone.
"He just called us douchebags, in my mind." The Coon replied.
"He did?!" Human Kite exclaimed.
"Wow, what a dick." Fastpass added.
"YOU'RE the douchebags, nya~!" The Kitten shouted back.
"Least I'm not the only one now..." Seth muttered.
"Alright, you son of a bitch! Aaaargh!" The Coon yelled as he lunged for Dr. Timothy, who teleported away before any damage could be done.
"Holy balls, how did he do that!?" Seth exclaimed in shock.
Dr. Timothy soon after then reappeared in the far distance behind the Coon & Friends.
"TIMMY!" He yelled, getting their attention.
"Motherfucker! Coon Friends, deal with these assholes!" The Coon ordered his team, as he ran off to go deal with Dr. Timothy.
The Kitten also joined him, hissing aggressively as she too ran off to possibly scratch Dr. Timothy's balls. This left Seth, Human Kite, Fastpass, Gentle Man, Super Craig and Mosquito to face off against Mysterion, Phantasma, Toolshed, Wonder Tweek and Tupperware.
"Stay behind me, Phantasma." Mysterion told his little sister, shielding her from any attacks. "I don't want you to get hurt."
"Okay, Guardian Angel." Phantasma complied, standing behind her fellow Freedom Pals, removing her from the battle so no one would attack her, not that any of the Coon Friends planned on doing so anyway.
With that, all the Coon & Friends and Freedom Pals got into a brawl, with each person facing someone else. Seth fought Mysterion, Human Kite fought Toolshed, Super Craig fought Wonder Tweek, and Fastpass, Gentle Man and Mosquito all ganged up on Tupperware.
"Aw come on, this is discrimination!" Tupperware argued.
"Hey, you made fun of my superhero character, so you brought this upon yourself!" Gentle Man retorted.
Regardless, although with some difficulty and the interference of a random car, the Coon & Friends managed to defeat the Freedom Pals. After the battle, the defeated Freedom Pals escaped, while the Coon Friends regrouped.
"Good job, Fart-Lord." Human Kite said, praising Seth's abilities. "You're really getting the hang of this."
"Oh, thanks, man." Seth replied in a thankful tone.
"Splendid work, gentlemen!" Gentle Man added. "But aren't we missing a certain someone?"
"Hey wait, he's right. What about Coon?" Super Craig noticed.
The guys all realised The Coon, as well as The Kitten, were nowhere in sight.
"Oh shit, come on!" Human Kite declared, as the 6 heroes ran towards where The Coon and The Kitten were. The Coon was seen groggily reeling from his fight with Dr. Timothy, while The Kitten gave him a headpat.
"Coon, what happened?!" Mosquito asked.
"That meanie doctor went bye-bye, nya~!" The Kitten answered.
"Timmy got away?!" Human Kite added.
"He... He completely raped my mind." The Coon replied.
"You okay?" Fastpass questioned.
"No, seriously, you guys. He fucked the shit out of my brains!" The Coon stated.
"You got raped?!" Seth exclaimed.
"Agh... I grabbed him, we fought for a bit, but his mental powers were too strong." The Coon explained.
"So we did all that for nothing?" Mosquito asked.
"Not quite." The Coon replied, before facing The Kitten. "Kitten, if you will?"
The Kitten then revealed a cell phone, showing a picture of a cat.
"I got Timmy's cell phone, nya~!" She happily stated.
"You did?" Super Craig asked surprised.
"Yep-yep~! I saw him bullying my sweet little Coon, so I scratched him in the balls and took his cell phone, nya~!" The Kitten explained.
"Uh... Y-Yay!" Seth awkwardly cheered, prompting the others to do the same, causing The Kitten to purr happily.
"Way to go, Kitten!" Jimmy said.
"Hehe~! I'm a good kitty, nya~!" The Kitten replied.
"Oh, this is jolly good news! Now we have more information regarding the missing cat!" Gentle Man stated.
"There's sure to be a lead on that!" Mosquito added.
"Great, what should we do now?" Seth asked.
"Let's get this back to base! Super Craig can analyse it." Human Kite declared as everyone headed back to the Coon Lair.
Once they made it back, the team observed Super Craig trying to analyse Timmy's phone.
"Alright, let's get to work." The Coon declared. "What have you found, Super Craig?"
"Timmy's phone has a bunch of notes in it. Something about a girl who has information about all the criminal activity in town." Super Craig stated.
"What girl?" The Coon asked.
"It just says: Find the girl with the dick tattoo." Super Craig explained.
"What girl in town has a dick tattoo?" Mosquito questioned.
"I don't know, Mosquito. But the Freedom Pals must think she's the key to finding the missing cat." The Coon surmised.
"If the Freedom Pals find her before we do, they'll get the hundred dollar reward." Human Kite mentioned.
"We can't let those meanies win, nya~!" The Kitten replied.
"The Kitten's right!" The Coon agreed. "We have to stop the Freedom Pals from having a sweet franchise, at all costs!"
"Then we have to find the girl with that tattoo tonight!" Fastpass stated.
"Fastpass is correct. We all have to sneak out of our houses tonight and search the entire town." Gentle Man agreed.
"What do you say, Fart-Lord? You up for it?" Human Kite asked Seth.
"Not only am I up for it, but I'm up for it." Seth answered in a determined tone.
"Great! By the way, what's your superhero backstory?" Human Kite asked out of curiosity.
"Yeah, what makes your character have meaning?" Super Craig added.
"I can answer that question for you." The Coon interjected before Seth even had a chance to explain his ideal backstory. "He's had a tough life. When he was six years old, his dad fucked his mom."
There was a brief pause. Everyone looked confused, especially Human Kite.
"What?" He asked in disbelief.
"I'm sorry, friend, but it's time they learned your tragic backstory." The Coon told Seth.
"I'm not your friend, guy." Seth retorted.
"Fart-Lord doesn't trust anyone because his dad fucked his mom and he couldn't do anything to stop it." The Coon continued, ignoring Seth.
"Are you shitting me? I trust all of you! ...But mostly Pip." Seth argued.
"Really? Oh, joyous day!" Gentle Man cheered over being Seth's favourite among the group.
"Why Pip of all people?!" Super Craig questioned, possibly referencing everyone else's hatred for the English boy.
"Well, two of you tried to kill me, and two more of you betrayed me. And I just don't like Cartman, and I don't really know Heidi that well. Pip's always been good to me" Seth explained.
"Guess it checks out." Super Craig relented.
There was another pause after this little exchange. Human Kite looked to the others before he spoke up.
"That still doesn't make any sense!" He said in response to what The Coon said before.
"I know. How could the person you trust do that to the only other person you love?" The Coon replied.
"Cartman, everyone's dad fucked everyone's mom." Human Kite explained.
"Exactly, dummy!" Seth added.
"Huh?" The Coon responded, clearly not getting it.
"That's how it works, stupid! Our dads fucked our moms!" Human Kite continued.
"Oh, right. So does that mean your dad fucked your mom, Kyle!? Huh!?" The Coon asked sarcastically.
"YES! My dad fucked my mom! That's why I'M HERE!" Human Kite answered angrily.
"Don't steal his backstory, dude, that's not cool." The Coon replied.
"Oh Christ, you're such a dumbass..." Seth muttered in annoyance.
"YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID!" Human Kite yelled. "EVERY HUMAN ALIVE. ON EARTH. HAD A DAD WHO FUCKED THEIR MOM AND-"
"STOP! STOP! THIS IS NOT WHAT'S IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!" Mosquito shouted, interrupting the argument. "We need to find the lady with the dick tattoo."
"Yeah, let's get home so we can prepare for evening missions." Super Craig agreed.
"Let's go, Coon Friends!" Fastpass declared as everyone proceeded to leave.
"Righto!" Gentle Man replied as they proceeded to head up the stairs.
"He's such a fucking idiot!" Human Kite said about The Coon as he and the others left.
"It's okay, calm down, nya~" The Kitten replied.
With that, all of the other Coon Friends were gone, leaving only Seth and The Coon.
"I'm afraid you'll have to deal with that kind of bigotry your whole life, Fart-Lord. When people don't understand, they lash out." The Coon explained.
"Kyle's right, dude, you are so stupid..." Seth muttered.
"I'm going to let you be a sidekick tonight to one of the Coon Friends." The Coon continued, ignoring Seth again.
"Is it one of the other guys?" Seth asked, referring to their teammates.
"You'll find out tonight. Go home and sneak out after your parents are asleep. I'll fill you in later." The Coon stated.
"Fine, I'll see you guys tonight." Seth declared as he mysteriously changed out of his hero costume and back into his regular clothes before heading back home.