The insane tales of mlp
chapter 5
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Twilight Sparkle was pacing back and forth in the library with an irritated expression on her face. She's been getting tired of Spike going after Rarity, when all she does is tease him with her looks.
"If this keeps up, Spike will never get laid!" yelled Twilight who grabbed some rope and duck tape with her magic. "Screw it. I'm gonna do this the old fashion way." and so Twilight ventured out with the stuff to do something probably illegal.
Rarity was satisfied with the piece of fabric she was using, but heard the door open and saw Twilight their. "Twilight darling, how are you-" Rarity was interrupted from the tape on her mouth and saw herself tied up.
"There. Now maybe we can settle this shipping." replied Twilight dragging Rarity along with Sweetie Belle watching.
"You didn't see anything." replied Twilight waving her hoofs in Sweetie's face and left with Rarity.
"Does this mean I can keep your clothes?" asked Sweetie Belle to the struggling Rarity.
Rarity couldn't say anything due to the tape. "I'll take that as a yes!" yelled Sweetie Belle.
Spike didn't know what to expect when Twilight put a bound and gagged Rarity at a clothed table with candles. He was confused and found himself seated across the unicorn of his dreams.
"Twilight, why is Rarity here?" asked Spike who didn't sound too excited.
"She is here of her own free will because she wants to have dinner with you." replied Twilight with a smile.
Spike just shrugged his shoulders and saw his sandwich didn't have salt. "Rarity, could you pass the salt?"
"Pass him the salt." Twilight held a pistol to Rarity's head for added measure and was glad Rarity levitated it to him with her magic.
"So Rarity, I've recently gone int he jewelry making business." replied Spike trying to be suave.
"Wow, a jeweler. Sounds cool, uh?"
"Help me!" exclaimed Rarity who had undone the ropes and ran out of the library.
Twilight went to run after her, but Spike got in her way. "Twilight, it's not a good idea to abduct mares just because your a princess."
"Rarity look out for the mines!" yelled Twilight.
(BOOM)
"What did I say? You heard me, what did I say?" asked Twilight to Spike.
"You said look out for the mines."
"I said look out for the mines." replied Twilight.
"Twilight, to be honest, I'm over Rarity." replied Spike.
"What? You mean I just committed several crimes, such as ponynapping and illegal purchase of land mines?"
"Where did you get the land mines?" asked Spike who didn't understand they were illegal.
"The Flim Flam brothers." replied Twilight who slapped herself in the face with her hoof for her stupid mistake.
"Well, this was fun and all, but I got to meet up with my girl." replied Spike opening the door to show Fluttershy.
"Ready to go, Spike?" asked Fluttershy.
"Sure." replied Spike.
"Wait, you're in a relationship with Fluttershy? A pony who is scared of dragons?" asked Twilight in astonishment.
"Well, you learn to like them when you learn to ride them." replied Fluttershy giving Spike bedroom eyes.
"Okay Twilight, bye!" rushed Spike closing the door.
"Riding a dragon? Well, that doesn't sound sexual at all." replied Twilight heading to the kitchen to find her stash of vodka.
(omake)
Rarity stomped home angry at what had happened. She would have vengeance! But first, she had a little sister to chew out for trying to take her dresses.
"Sweetie Belle!" yelled Rarity who stomped upstairs where she heard the sound of the bed creaking. She slammed the door opened and stopped as she saw Spike, Fluttershy, and Sweetie Belle tangled around the covers with whip cream, handcuffs, and a whip nearby.
"Umm, this is for a cutie mark?" replied Sweetie Belle with a sheepish grin.
Rarity's eyes rolled back into her head as she fell back and passed out.
All three of the occupants shrugged their shoulders as they resumed what they were doing.
Twilight was half drunk when her Twilight sense went off.
"Spike just got laid!" cried Twilight in happiness as she fell backward and let the alcohol do its thing.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
also, please refer to my profile regarding my stories.