Supernova

by Primordial Vortex

Luffy's adventures took a much different start. It wasn't the Gomu Gomu fruit that Shanks and his crew brought to that sleepy town, and the consequences will reverberate throughout the Grand Line! With the power of the Sun in his hands, the Mugiwara Crew will take on the world! Different-DF-Luffy! Expanded crew. Harem. No Yaoi.

7. The Butterfly Flaps its Wings

Huh, this is rather amusing. Back when this file was created I had reserved this little section as a thank you to everyone who helped get this story to over 100k views.

Now we're over 250k. That really kinda boggles my mind. So thank you. All of you who helped make that possible.

And I'm sorry. Sorry that this took so bloody long to get out. I never meant to keep this on the backburner for so long, and for that I apologize. There were outside factors involved yes, but those only started back in September. I hope it lives up to what everybody was hoping for!

This chapter really fought me too. It was rather annoying sitting here staring at the page and seeing nothing appreciable get done. Finally got over the hump though!

Big, BIG thanks to; Thanathos, Seerking, and Vimesenthusiast for all of their help.

Also, does ANYONE know how to put special characters in stories? I wanted to use the black heart character at one point in the split-off second part of this chapter, and I couldn't figure it out. They just get deleted.

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Now I HAD to respond to one guest review, because it kind of pissed me off a tad.

Guest: *Gol D.* Roger not Gold Roger. Why is that so hard for people?

Yes. I know that. You know that. Most readers know that. But the CHARACTERS IN-STORY DO NOT, and at the point where it was said, neither does the narrator. That doesn't get brought up until Dr. Kureha mentions it during Drum island.

Proper sequencing. Why is that so hard for people?

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Now I've said this before but seeing as I still get them, I suppose I'll have to start putting it up nice and bold at the top of every chapter.

*Ahem

DO NOT MESSAGE ME ABOUT UPDATES OR STORY PROGRESS. I WILL NO LONGER ANSWER THEM AND YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME.

I have a profile guys. I know a whole lot of authors on this site like to fill it with irrelevant garbage but I DO NOT. ALL progress reports are ALWAYS written on my profile. If I DO NOT specifically SAY something is abandoned, it is NOT ABANDONED. Hiatus, maybe. Writers block? Maybe. But abandoned? NO. I will very clearly say when something is dead-dead.

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Chapter VII: The Butterfly Flaps its Wings

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"Is everyone on this crew completely ridiculous?" Miss Wednesday couldn't help but feel like a broken record. Roughly three days had passed since they departed from Reverse Mountain. While the crew had merely relaxed for the rest of the day from Reverse Mountain, from the moment dawn broke and she'd been rudely awoken by the Captain's yells they had been doing some form of training or another. Even she and Mr. Nine had been dragged into the madness! Her head bobbed down and then back up, "I mean, seriously!" She pouted. She certainly took good care of herself, but she didn't think she could do any of what she had seen. She bobbed down and then up again, "This is just crazy!" Wait, no. That wasn't her head. It was her entire body. She was resting from her (very much forced!) training by sitting on top of Usopp while he did his pushups.

The past couple days she'd seen increasingly absurd training. Usopp the Longnose was constantly doing exercises with one of them sitting on his back. When he wasn't doing that, it was an evil combination of dodge and aim practice with the Captain. Luffy would throw small pellets – she'd been grazed by one and it had hurt – directly at the dark-skinned boy while Usopp would fire back with his slingshot. Every time Usopp got hit Luffy would force him to do fifty pushups, a hundred sit-ups, and ten laps around the ship. By the end of the day the poor guy looked like the walking dead. It was clear nothing but his willpower kept him standing, astonishing Miss Wednesday.

Next up was the Navigator, Nami. At first, she had figured – from her magic – that the tiny slip of a woman – same as her really. They were both sexy and feminine – would be a long-range fighter and not capable of much in terms of physical exertion. And then the mikan-haired woman had casually dropped a hundred squats with an eight-hundred-pound barbell on her shoulders in front of her. She later learned that strong legs were extremely necessary for the three leg-based techniques of the style they were learning from Luffy. She would regret mentioning her amazed interest because Luffy immediately had a hundred-pound barbell on her shoulders and started counting out her own reps.

Her legs and thighs were screaming, for the record.

Those screams were silenced in utter horror as she witnessed the overly flirtatious – and at times – seemingly ditzy man Sanji do five times the reps Nami did in a set with a two-ton weight on his shoulders. And he finished in only double the time. And then, without a word of protest, he engaged Luffy in a blisteringly fast air duel ('to the death,' her legs screamed again) using only kicks. As if the exercise which had her feeling faint at the first rep was merely a casual occurrence he paid no mind to.

When she mentioned her utter amazement to Nami, her only response was annoyance at Sanji already having surpassed her. Pointing out that he fought exclusively with his legs and had done so for years hadn't done much to improve Nami's mood.

The final two members, Luffy and Zoro, had her throwing up her arms and proclaiming defeat. Both could double Sanji's weight without issue and she'd even heard Zoro complaining that they needed to get heavier ones. And worse, Luffy agreed!

"This is what it takes to be strong." Nami tossed her way carelessly as she walked by, "Come on Usopp, a hundred more! And pick up the pace!"

"Screw you, Nami!" Usopp's arms were trembling as he completed another pushup, "I'd like to see you doing five hundred pushups with this much weight on your back!"

"Excuse me!" Wednesday yelled out in affront, before smacking the back of his head, "Are you calling me fat?!"

Nami let out a little giggle, "Don't you know never to mention a lady's weight, Usopp?" She then yelled out, "Hey, it's my turn! Finish up already, you two!"

Luffy and Zoro blurred into view once more. The swordsman was huffing and puffing as if he'd been doing a triathlon and pouring sweat in rivulets, but the man in the straw hat barely was winded. He was holding back two of Zoro's swords with just his pipe in a one-handed grip, though the pipe was trembling. His left leg swung out and ended the fight, "Grk!" Zoro had to force himself not to bite through Wadō Ichimonji as the kick connected solidly with his ribs. Even his speedy Tekkai wasn't much help on that front.

He sunk to a knee and buried one of his swords in the floorboards to lean on, "One of these days, Luffy…" He panted threateningly.

"Shishishi, good job Zoro! That was a pretty good Tekkai at the end!"

"I just don't get it!" Wednesday finally had enough and waved her arms around, "I thought East Blue was supposed to be full of weaklings!"

"Oi!" Several of the crew yelled back.

She cringed as she realized she had insulted every one of the people so graciously taking her home but decided to power through it, "Well it's true!" She huffed, "Only a couple of your sea's bounties were even over ten million! All the other Blues at least had averages in the tens!" 'On second thought, maybe doubling down wasn't the smartest idea?' She winced as she looked around at the crew.

"Well…" Nami held back a grin, "Krieg did kind of suck." The blue-haired girl hesitantly smiled back, "Still, you are talking pretty big, aren't you? Why not put your money where your mouth is?" She held up her staff and pointed it at her threateningly.

The girl blanched and turned pasty white, "Uhh… can I not and say I did?" She poked her fingers together, "I can't fling tornados around."

Nami rolled her eyes, "I'm not going to do that on the ship, dummy!"

"Yeah, I like this idea!" Luffy popped into the conversation with that shit-eating grin on his face, "Okay, Nami vs Blue Girl is a go!" He hauled a protesting bluenette up and pushed her to the sparring area, with Nami following with a giant grin matching his.

"I didn't agree to this!" She kept on protesting uselessly.

"No slackers on my ship!" Luffy commanded, turning serious for a moment. She stiffened. Then he grinned evilly, "In fact…" He turned and yelled at her partner, "Hey, stupid Nine Guy!" The guy with burnt-orange hair cringed from the other end of the ship, "Get ready!" He vanished and Wednesday winced as she heard the girlish scream belonging to her partner followed by a crash and pleas for mercy.

"Well, at least it's not the Captain I'm facing?" She questioned herself after swallowing heavily. Nami's slight eyebrow twitch told her she hadn't been silent enough. She hooked her pinky into a small ring on her clothes and drew a string along with a small little thing that looked slightly like a peacock's feather in miniature. She started spinning it on her finger and took a low stance, already sweating nervously. "Okay! Let's go!" She shouted, putting on a face full of bravado.

Nami grinned, "Well, at least you'll be some fun, then." She charged forward and jabbed her staff at Vivi's head, who dodged it gracefully. She swung it around aiming at her feet and the girl pirouetted away, before swinging forward and slashing the string at Nami's face. The mikan-loving girl ducked, and then growled when she saw a few tiny strands of her hair fall off, "Hmm, those things are sharp." She commented evenly.

Miss Wednesday smiled back, "My special Kujakkī Slashers. Hope you like them!" She drew another set and set it spinning like a buzz saw. Nami grinned in response and picked up the pace, launching a flurry of attacks with her staff as well as a couple kicks where she could help it. The bluenette managed to dodge them all. Fluidly. Even when Nami thought she had a direct, guaranteed hit, her opponent somehow managed to find herself safe through utterly ridiculous flexibility or nimbleness.

Luffy had stopped terrorizing Mr. Nine – since really, the guy was just flimsy. One hit had knocked him out – and was sitting on the railing, "Huh, she's surprisingly good. She's got good senses." He mumbled as Nami went for a body shot and the bluenette contorted her spine as she just bent backward and let it pass harmlessly above her. Her follow-up showed more flexibility as she kicked high enough that she would have nailed Zoro – the tallest of them – right in the head. So of course, it sailed right over Nami's head. Luffy furrowed his brows, 'At the relatively-low speed Nami is keeping this at, Wednesday could have hit her at least three times by now. Why isn't she making contact?'

Nami easily backpedaled and was in a loose stance, brows furrowed. She was wondering the same thing, "You're not taking this seriously."

"Wha-" The girl flinched, though she recovered admirably, "Sure I am! But you're not! You haven't done the vanishing thing yet!"

Nami snorted, "This is a spar, not an ass-kicking. And it takes two to tango, sister! I left you plenty of openings you're more than quick enough to exploit and you didn't take any of them!"

"These are sharp you know!" She shot back. Indeed, there were tiny little gouges in the wood from where they had impacted.

"Is your foot sharp too?" Luffy asked dryly as he materialized in between them.

"Eep!" The girl jumped back. She started to sweat as he eyed her. She was saved from further grilling when the weather changed.

"What the?!" Nami gasped as the day went from warm and sunny spring to nightmare winter at the drop of a hat. It was as if they had crossed an invisible line. The girls started to shiver due to their thin clothes as an avalanche of snow appeared to start to fall on them. They hadn't been in the new weather for more than ten seconds and already there was starting to be enough accumulation on the deck for a snowball. "Holy crap! I've never seen weather change like that!" Her teeth chattered.

Wednesday was hugging herself and rubbing her arms, her breath misting in front of her, "That's the Grand Line for you! The closest waters to Reverse Mountain especially can get crazy!" Both of them ran inside to change and get into warmer clothing. By the time they finished that, Luffy and Usopp were well on their way to building snowmen. "Sanji~!" Nami called out with a small smirk.

"Yes, Nami-swan~!" Sanji popped up pirouetting in front of them, "What may I do for you, my lovelies? Perhaps a nice, hot chocolate?"

"Please shovel the deck." Nami patted him on the cheek. "We don't need all of this melting and getting everything wet."

"Haiiii!" The blonde went about his business.

Staring after him, Nami huffed irritably, "There wasn't even time to cover up my precious mikan. They better not get ruined! Crocus was right! This stupid weather defies all logic! Is that thunder? Great, now we have lightning too!"

"Hey, shouldn't you be keeping an eye on the Log Pose?" Wednesday asked her. "I haven't really seen you steering much."

"What do you mean? I've been checking our course regularly. The wheel is locked." Nami told her.

She was surprised when the other girl winced, "You might want to check again. You're really underestimating the Grand Line!"

Nami held back an eye-roll through sheer force of will. On the other hand, Miss Wednesday had impressed her somewhat during their little spar and she was a Grand Line native. Nami didn't get to be the best damn navigator there ever was by not learning lessons from those who came before, so she raised her arm to look at the Log Pose. "See, we should be WHAT THE FUCK!"

Luffy and Usopp stopped their fight – Luffy had built a decent snow man while Usopp had managed a beautiful, artistic snow queen. Luffy had, of course, destroyed the head immediately and Usopp retaliated – as they heard her screech, "What's wrong Nami?"

"Luffy! Get on the wheel! Now! We need to turn around a hundred and eighty degrees!" She held her head, "This is crazy! I just checked like five minutes ago and we were right on target! The seas were smooth! How the hell did we literally turn around?"

"The sea is having its way with us." Mr. Nine sneered at her.

"The Log Pose is the only thing you can trust on these seas." Wednesday told her, in a more conciliatory manner, "Nothing else makes sense! Not the currents, not the weather, not the clouds, waves, or even the sky! Everything is treacherous!"

Mr. Nine then pissed her off, if the dark look on her face was any indication, "Are you sure you're really a navigator?"

She vanished and grabbed him by the face, "Then get off your ass and help you goddamn freeloader!" She tossed him bodily right through the door. She glared at Wednesday, though the girl was already moving, "Good." She immediately started shouting orders, "Take the wind from the starboard yard brace! Turn us a hundred and eighty to port! Usopp, watch astern! Sanji, take the whip-staff!"

"Hold on! The wind changed!" Usopp yelled out.

"What! No way!" Nami's eye started to twitch.

Nine and Wednesday were smiling and facing the wind, "Ahh, the first winds of spring!"

"But why! This doesn't make any sense!" Nami ground her teeth impotently.

"The waves are getting bigger!" Came from Usopp.

Luffy yelled out gleefully, "There's dolphins there! Let's go see them!"

"Iceberg at ten o'clock!" Usopp yelled again, "Shit we're aiming right for it!"

Nami's scream at Luffy to avoid it got interrupted by Sanji's yell, "There's fog up ahead!"

"What kind of ocean is this!" Nami yelped, holding her head in between her hands.

And all the while, Zoro simply slept leaned up on a railing, a pile of snow covering his head and chest.

…

Roughly five hours of the hectic and crazy changes in weather happened. All the while, Nami had been barking out orders and using her own Luffy-trained-skills when needed. While she would have preferred to devote all her attention to the weather and delegating responsibility, at times she needed to be too quick for instructions. At other times, the person assigned to a particular task had to abandon it to repair something. Usopp had to put his fledgling carpentry skills to the test multiple times just to keep the bilge from leaking over and over. Poor Miss Wednesday had almost been brained by a hail ball the size of a baseball.

Sanji had to stop helping multiple times as well to go make food. The work was utterly exhausting and everyone needed to eat constantly to keep their strength up. Nine had collapsed roughly three hours in and had been utterly useless for the next hour. Wednesday though, had impressed all of them. Not once had she complained and she had taken to her assigned tasks with determination.

And then, as suddenly as it had begun, it ended. It went from a snowy monsoon – for lack of a better description – to a perfectly clear, sunny day. Everyone froze, looking around at each other in bewilderment. Then they looked at the skies and the seas, and it finally registered. Everyone collapsed to the floor in rapture, elated that the nightmare weather was finally over. Everyone that is, but Luffy, who was just chilling on the railing and snickering at everyone laying about, looking like death-warmed-over. 'If I say that was fun, would Nami kill me?'

And then a yawn broke out. Zoro was getting up and stretching. Amazing-sounding cracks rang through the air as the green-haired man woke up and popped his joints. "Man, what a peaceful nap." He looked around and started to blink. "…" He eyed them all laying down and then scratched the side of his head, "Hey, I know it's a beautiful day but shouldn't you all be working?" He cracked his neck, "Hope we're still on course." He eyed the two 'strangers,' "Hmm, I forgot we were bringing them with us. What are your names again?"

"M-Miss Wednesday."

"And Mr. Nine."

"Right, right, those suspicious sounding names." He grinned evilly down at them, "They were stuck in my head. I feel like I've heard them before." The two agents started to gulp, but he was interrupted as Nami smashed him on top of his head, "Oi!" He growled and rubbed the top of his skull, "What the hell was that for!?"

"How could you sleep through all of it and then wake up when EVERYTHING WAS ALREADY OVER!?" She hissed like a she-devil, "Not even Luffy screaming in your ear worked!" She gave him three more lumps, leaving him dazed and holding his head in pain. She leapt up and stood on top of the railing, "Alright, listen up! We have to stay alert! Who knows what will happen next! Everyone needs to be ready for more batshit weather at all times!" She held her fist up, "I understand now! We all know how dangerous this ocean is now! And I know now how the Grand Line got its reputation! All of the navigational skills I've honed for the last decade-plus seem useless here!"

Usopp groaned, "Not exactly inspiring confidence here. Are you sure we'll be okay?"

"Of course!" Nami growled, "Other crews have braved these waters before! Hawkeye Mihawk sailed it in a goddamn coffin! The Pirate King even reached the end of the Line! I WILL learn how to read this damn sea like a book, just like I did back home! I WILL get us through this journey safely! AND WE WILL NOT FAIL!" The two stragglers were looking at her in awe, while everyone else was merely smirking. She pumped her fist once into the air "FOR ALL OF OUR DREAMS!"

"YEAH!" The replying shouts of only four people almost blew Nine's eardrums out.

Wednesday was looking at them all in admiration, before ducking her head to hide a smile. She really liked these people. They had surprisingly grown on her despite the training (read: torture), and she had only known them for about four days at this point.

Nami suddenly grinned, "And look! Looks like the first leg of our journey is over!" She pointed ahead of the ship and they all turned their heads. The fog before them suddenly cleared out, revealing an island with four massive mountains and several smaller ones that really did look like cacti.

"Whoa!" Luffy grinned brightly, "It's Sake Summit!"

"We arrived safely!" Mr. Nine yelled in elation. Miss Wednesday wasn't really sure what to do. She did honestly like them, but she needed to go. So, for now, she just went with the flow and jumped onto the railing along with her partner, "We'll be taking our leave now." No doubt she'd be seeing them again soon.

Miss Wednesday slapped a smug grin onto her face, "Thanks for the ride, darlings! We'll meet again, fate willing!" Her cocky smirk was hiding a real smile. She didn't doubt that they would be perfectly fine.

"Bye, bye, baby!" Both of them backflipped off the ship and into the drink below.

Everyone watched with growing sweatdrops on their heads, "…" Luffy scratched his chin, "Whatever! Let's land!" He grinned happily, "I wonder what kind of island this is? Hope it's a fun one!"

"W-w-w-wait a minute!" Usopp suddenly shivered, "What if it's a really scary island full of monsters?!"

Sanji smirked as he took a drag from his cigarette, "Hoh, that certainly is a possibility. This is the Grand Line after all."

Usopp's teeth started to chatter and he suddenly held up a hand to his chest, "Ack! Oh no! My icantgotothisislanditis is acting up!"

Everyone else just rolled their eyes, "Either way, we have to stay here until the Log Pose records this island's signature and picks up the next one on our path." She led them in ignoring Usopp's theatrics, "According to Crocus, the time that it takes for the pose to record the magnetic field varies from island to island, so we may be here for a while. Could be hours… could be weeks. Just keep that in mind."

As they sailed inward, the crewmembers with sharper ears started to pick up on a whole lot of voices. They eyed each other for a moment and the message was clear. 'Be ready to fight.'

Only when the fog finally cleared completely, it was to the sight of seemingly an entire town cheering for them, "Welcome to the Town of Celebration – Whiskey Peak!" The crowd roared, doing everything from cheering to literally throwing confetti at them. "Welcome to our town, Pirates! Hurray for the heroes of the sea!"

Usopp immediately was taken into their pace and started blowing kisses, "Wow, so Pirates are heroes here! Awesome! What a welcome!"

Sanji spotted a couple of pretty girls and his one visible eye turned into a heart. He started noodling about, "Woooh! So many cute girls!"

Nami and Zoro deadpanned while Luffy was snickering to himself, "This smells fishier than Arlong Park." The orangette said, having to forcibly hold back an eye roll.

Luffy started to laugh outright, and then allowed himself to get drawn in. He certainly wasn't going to turn down a free party. "This should be fun."

Zoro smirked and fingered one of his swords, "One way or another."

"Hem-hem!" A tall man with blonde, ludicrously curled hair holding a saxophone of all things in his hand greeted them when they finally docked. He had broad, thick shoulders, a large chest, and hilariously skinny legs, "Mi-mi-mi!" His odd throat clearing almost made Luffy collapse in laughter, "My name is Igarappoi, and I'm the Mayor of Whiskey Peak! Welcome, brave Pirates!" The crowd let out another deafening cheer, "Welcome to Whiskey Peak! We're a bustling town of music and ale brewing! We're very proud of our ale and have an ocean of it! Would you care to join us in a celebration and regale us with the tales of your adventures?"

"You bet we would!" Luffy, Usopp, and Sanji cheered.

Nami sidled up to the mayor, "Say, how long does it take for the Log Pose to set on this island?"

"Log Pose?" They mayor had to fight the urge to flinch from her sharp stare, "Mi-mi-mi! Not very long at all, madam. Please, set aside such trivial matters and enjoy yourself!" He tried to put an arm around her but a burning glare from her made him step back, "Come on everyone! It's party time!"

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Later that night, the party was in full swing, and Usopp was in his… sixth retelling of the same story. Yet the liar was surely a master of his craft: none of the girls surrounding him had figured out that it was the same story told six different ways, "And then they made me their Captain." He finished with a cool look on his face, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Woah!" One of the girls pecked him on the cheek, "Captain Usopp is so cool!"

He grinned smugly, "Yeah, our escape from the Grand Line had me quaking… in delight!" He crowed, and the girls all acted like Sanji usually did.

Crack!

Zoro put down his mug of ale down on the table as his tenth opponent threw in the towel, practically passing out on the spot. "Holy cow! He took down ten guys!"

"That's nothing!" Another yelled in shock, "She's on her thirteenth!" Nami guzzled down another mug with a beaming grin.

"Ain't no one beating me tonight!" She crowed as her next drinking opponent – a nun of all things – sat down in front of her and started guzzling down her own drink.

"That's nothing!" Another yelled as the chef collapsed into a heap, his chef's hat rolling off his head, "The Captain ate enough food for twenty people!" Luffy looked really fat and blown up and was sitting on a bed made of the three barrels of milk he had already consumed.

"Another!" he roared gleefully as he tossed the plate carelessly over his head and it landed in the third of three neat stacks of plates.

"And this one's flirting with twenty girls at once!" Sanji was covered in kiss marks and had over a dozen girls draped over him or each other.

"Bwahaha!" Igarappoi laughed, "Marvelous! I'm so glad you're having fun! Continue enjoying yourselves!"

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Miss Wednesday sat on one of the buildings above the party, staring at the moon. She looked down when she heard the door opening as some of the sounds from within started dying down, eyeing the town mayor as he exited the building, "Mr. Eight!" She called out.

He turned, "Hmm, if it isn't Mr. Nine and Miss Wednesday. How did your mission go?" He asked as they jumped down to his level.

"Badly." Miss Wednesday's eyes flashed, as they stared at each other. Unknown to her partner, there was much more in that look than he could possibly realize. "The Pirates in there are insanely strong. You better have put more than just booze in those drinks. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near them if they get pissed off."

"Hoh, they are, huh?" Igarappoi raised an eyebrow, "Mi-mi-mi! How strong exactly, Miss Wednesday? They act more like clowns than Pirates." He replied dubiously.

"I don't know…" Miss Wednesday replied, "But the swordsman took down The Unluckies like yesterday's refuse."

"The Unluckies aren't truly fighters though." He shot back, "They can handle themselves, obviously, but I would hardly worry if I had to fight them."

"From a hundred meters away." She deadpanned, "With a single swipe of his blade."

Now that got his eyes to widen, "You can't be serious?" He gasped, aghast, "Oh my. Perhaps we should double down on the party… start slipping drugs into their drinks?"

"No need." A new voice rang. It was the nun Nami had been drinking under the table. She ripped off the ensemble revealing an incredibly muscular body, dark skin, and pink hair styled into two little puffs, "Jeez, I was just drinking carbonated barley tea and even I feel buzzed." She cracked her neck explosively before asking, "Was this whole charade even necessary? We're already short on food and drink with you two-" she glared at the Mr. Nine pair, who glared back, "Failing your whaling mission. Surely we could have just taken these idiots at the port."

"Ohohohoho!" In response, Wednesday's queen bitch laugh made a return, "Aren't we getting too big for our britches, Miss Monday? I'd like to have seen you take down that whale with that crazy doctor protecting him." Lightning shot from both of the women's eyes and impacted in between them. "And I'll say this again! I have doubts that even all of us together could take down one member of their crew! If you didn't go with the party and drug them we'd all have been wiped out!"

"Bah!" Miss Monday spat on the ground, "None of those clowns look like they're any good. What kind of idiot carries around three swords? And that Captain! Hah! Fat tub of lard he is now! If he can even sit up I'll eat my wimple!"

Their argument would have continued, when a nameless runner practically fell in front of them, "Big trouble, mayor!" He gasped.

"Steady yourself lad." Igarappoi commanded, "Did you get the information I requested?"

"Y-yes!" He let out another explosive gasp, "I don't think we should try anything with this group! Look at this shit!" He slapped three wanted posters onto the ground.

Even Miss Wednesday's jaw dropped, "Fif-fifty!" She gasped, her eyes shooting wide open in pure shock.

"A hundred million between just three of them?!" Miss Monday had her jaw sagging. "Holy! I'm embarrassed. Sorry for badmouthing you, Miss Wednesday!"

"I knew it had to be high, but I had no idea it would be that high! They're from East Blue! That's absurd!" She replied in stupor.

"This just goes to show you, Miss Bunbay-" Igarappoi started to cough, "Mi-mi-mi! Miss Monday, that you can never judge a book by its cover." His eyes hardened, "Tie them up and take everything that isn't nailed down on their ship! We'll be able to make a very good report to the boss!"

"If it's all the same to you, would you mind letting them rest a little while longer?" A voice none of them but Miss Wednesday immediately recognized rang out. Everyone mechanically turned to look up at the tallest building, "The Dartbrow and the Longnose are still pretty tired from the party and the voyage." Zoro was up there, giving them a devil's grin, one leg slung over the building's edge and a katana drawn, resting on his shoulder.

"What the! But you were all passed out a minute ago!" The nameless grunt roared in terror.

"A swordsman never drinks himself into a stupor." Zoro shrugged back. "And a Bounty Hunter's den would be a pretty bad place to let your guard down. You all trick Pirates into drinking themselves stupid and then just turn them over to the Marines."

"Oh please, only Sanji and Usopp were stupid enough to fall for such an obvious trap. 'Town welcomes Pirates as heroes with party?' Puh-lease. I came up with better when I was nine." Nami had her own disparaging words for the town and she laid on the roof like a cat, sprawled out lazily, "You have to work on your execution too. Nothing was even drugged! I'm almost insulted!"

At that, Miss Wednesday had to fight very hard to hold back a giggle, forgetting for a moment that she wasn't on their ship any longer.

Nami then noticed the posters on the ground, "Admiring our bounties, are we dearies? Don't be jealous. It's not the size of your bounty that matters. It's what you do with it!" She started to giggle after making a show of wagging her eyebrows. Luffy snickered from his place as her pillow, looking completely normal.

"Wh-what the! You were a ball ten minutes ago!" Miss Monday gaped in utter shock. Dozens of their fellows started pouring from the buildings in a panic over the missing Straw Hats.

Luffy waved a hand airily, "Yeah, the food wasn't bad. Sanji makes better, of course, but he was having his own fun. I already digested it." Weren't secret marine techniques amazing?

"You're teaching me that, by the way." Nami told him off-handedly.

"Sure." Luffy smirked to himself, "Right after you master all the Rokushiki." She glared at him, "Yep, that includes Tekkai." And the secret technique.

"Pwease, Luffy?" She made puppy-dog eyes at him.

He snickered, "That's the requirement, Nami. That's the kind of utter control you need to have over your body just to start learning how to do it."

Their conversation was interrupted as practically everyone down on the ground started drawing and cocking weapons, aiming right for them, "Oh, I didn't know there was a second party!" Luffy had a look of such overplayed enthusiasm on his face that Nami burst out laughing.

"About a hundred of you, from the looks of it." Zoro commented with a growing grin, "Care to make it a contest, Luffy? First to fifty-one wins. Should be a nice test for my new blades." He paused, "Well, against someone I can actually cut." His deadpanned admission was like drawing blood from a stone.

"Ehh, why not?" Luffy cracked his neck.

"Make it first to thirty-four." Nami sat up, "Might as well work some of that booze off. I doubt these guys have much to steal anyway."

"That settles it then." Zoro grinned devilishly again, "Looks like we'll be your opponents tonight… Baroque Works!"

Pandemonium.

Every single one of the bounty hunters reared back as if Zoro had personally slugged them in the mouths. Several of them sputtered, "Impossible! How do you know the name of our secret society?!"

Zoro stood and his form was darkened by the illumination of the full moon behind him, casting terror into most of their hearts, "Why? You idiots tried to recruit me long ago. Back when I was in your line of work. Of course, with the stupid need for secrecy, dumb code names, and how not one of you knows what the boss even looks like or where he is or even what your final goal is… I had to turn you down. Told the guy who tried that I'd join if they made me the boss." From his shadowed form, only the white of his grinning teeth could be seen clearly, "What was that moron's name again? The former Mr. Four?"

Igarappoi grit his teeth, "Impressive, but not at all to your favor, swordsman! Everyone who knows of our organization must perish!" They all raised their weapons again, "Just a few more tombstones to decorate our great mountains!" They all fired as one, great plumes of smoke and unburned gunpowder obscuring their vision.

Well, all but Miss Wednesday of course. Even had she wanted to shoot them, she didn't carry a gun. Instead, she had to bite back another grin as Nami's voice rang up from inside their group. "Good shots guys!"

And then Luffy's voice, "Yeah! We nailed them!" Miss Wednesday could hear the smug in his amused tone. As other voices – ones from Baroque Works – started congratulating the others, she almost busted a gut.

And then the smoke cleared, and revealed nothing but a building filled with some brand-new holes for decoration. No sign of the Pirates or even any blood anywhere. "What the! Where did they go!?" And then – as one – they mechanically turned inward and stared at the three who did not belong.

Luffy, Nami, and Zoro were all standing calm-as-you-please within their ranks, hands used like visors as they stared up at the building they had been standing on. Everyone else's eyes started popping out in shock, before one of them started to roar, "Stop making fun of us, you bastards!" And with that, the dam broke and they all started pointing their guns inward.

Several of them went down as the Straw Hats vanished once more and they shot one another. Zoro's voice rang out, "Shit, do any of us get those?"

"Three!" Nami yelled gleefully as she appeared in the between a set of three guys who had the smart idea of putting their back to each other. Only they left a large enough gap for her to drop right in. She kicked one of them in the back of the knee, forcing him down and then brained him with one section of her collapsible Clima-Tact. She immediately followed up with a back-kick to the one behind her which sent him flying into a wall and – dodging a punch nimbly from the third – vanished in a Soru and finished the third with a midair roundhouse kick. "Nope, they're out!"

"Darn!" Zoro grumbled as he cut through a man's rifle with his new Yubashiri. He then vanished and reappeared behind a group of six, "Damn, this is a nice blade!" he said appreciatively as the seven men he'd just faced stood stock still, "Nice and light!" He finished and the men all fell to the ground, blood flowing from their wounds as their bodies finally realized they had been cut and opened up. "Six!"

He ran up a ladder after hearing some exclamations from behind him. As soon as his head cleared the roof, his grin widened as he saw a man standing there with a cannon on his shoulder, "Surprise!" The man yelled, before the sharp retort rang through the air and the cannonball flew right for his face. Yubashiri flashed and the medium-sized ball split into two. The booms from behind him and groaning of wood told him that at least one building got pretty damaged.

"Man, you guys are too slow!" Luffy pouted from atop his stack of fifteen hunters, drawing glares from his two crewmates, "That's fifteen by the way! Better catch up, Nami!"

"Fine!" She glared again, "You asked for it! Cool Ball! Heat Ball!" Miss Wednesday had already been creeping away as best she could, and now made double time. "Electro Ball! Thunderbolt Tempo!" Several bounty hunters decided discretion may have been the better part of valor as Nami started using that attack a couple times over and started frying them.

Zoro growled, "Not on my watch!" He drew Sandai Kitetsu, "Your turn." He heard some idiot screaming behind him, and turned around just in time to dice up a barrel that had been hurtling for the back of his skull. "What a damn waste." He groaned unhappily as liquid stared spilling from the sliced wood, "All that good brew." In response to his words, Miss Monday – the bodybuilder nun lady – snarled at him. Another roar had him turning and countering a guy with a stone mallet half the size of his body. "What the!" He stared at his sword for a moment as Kitetsu sliced straight through the stone mallet without much trouble and the moron swinging it hurtled off the building. "Damn, I wasn't even trying to cut that thing. You are a bloodthirsty little blade, aren't you Kitetsu? A legendary sword should only cut when its master commands it!" He cracked his neck, "What was that, fourteen? Damn, I'm behind Luffy!"

Over by Nami, she had to stop and glare at a little shit who had the gall to try to backstab her. The brat immediately fell back onto his rear and started trembling in fear, "Wait, please forgive him!" A much slimmer nun than the one she'd faced in the drinking game grabbed the little boy in her arms.

Her face remained deadpanned as she pretended to turn away and the nun immediately brought a cross to bear and pulled on the chain. A noxious, blue smoke started shooting at Nami and both of them drew weapons. Nami vanished and reappeared behind them, "Just kidding! That's seventeen, I think." She brained the both of them with her now-combined staff.

Meanwhile, Luffy had vanished completely and Zoro was racing up a ladder, with a mass of hunters following him. He got to the top, grinned madly, and then pushed the ladder over. Nami burst out laughing as she watched, "None of them are down, Zoro! They don't count!" She yelled over teasingly. He jumped onto the falling ladder and rode it down, landing in the middle of another four and slicing them all up with a new technique using Nitōryū named Taka Nami.

He then quirked his ears and casually used his new – apparently stupidly sharp – blade to cut a hole in the floor and casually walked away. "Look out for the hole." Moments later, a bunch of hunters landed… and then fell down as the ground broke away into a perfectly circular pit.

"Damn you all!" Miss Monday roared as she put on a pair of brass knuckles, "Take this!" Zoro eyed her curiously, "Superhuman… BRASS KNUCKLES!" A slight smirk quirked on his lips. The knuckles smashed square into his face and blew out a shockwave that completely pulverized the wall behind him.

"Mi-mi-mi!" Igarappoi coughed, "We're supposed to leave them alive, Miss Monday. The Marines don't pay us the full price if they can't execute them."

Miss Monday pulled back, wondering for a moment how Zoro remained standing even now that she had pulped his brain. And then Zoro's hand grabbed her face in an absolutely crushing grip. She immediately started howling in agony. "I'm sorry, was I supposed to feel that at all?" he questioned her, again grinning like a demon. In response, her enormous hands grasped his arms andstarted trying to pry him off of her, "You think you're strong huh? Shall we see which of us is stronger?" He tightened his grip, and she went slack, foaming at the mouth as he dropped her. She collapsed bonelessly to the dirt.

"Miss Monday lost!" Baroque Works yelled in panic, "Damn!" Igarappoi growled, "Thirty million may have been too low!"

"You think!" Mr. Nine turned and roared at him, "The only way we stand a chance is if we give it everything we got! We need to work together!"

"Oi, did you forget little old me?" Nami called as sat above them.

"Don't take us lightly! We're numbered agents!" Igarappoi yelled, "Igarappa!" He blew on his saxophone and bullets started spurting from it. Nami dodged out of the way as Mr. Nine displayed far greater speed and strength than they had seen from him before, easily leaping and somersaulting up the building to follow her.

"Carue!" Miss Wednesday called out after a loud whistle, getting a loud quack. She turned and saw her giant duck wagging its tail, "Get over here you idiot!" She grinned as she hopped onto the duck, "Let's show them the power that puts panthers to shame!" She knew they wouldn't win this, but she had to put in the effort. The duck sat down, "Get up damn it!" She roared as she punched it in the back of the head, glaring at the duck with shark-teeth.

Zoro sweatdrop as he stared at her, "You… you want a few minutes?"

"Shut up!" She roared back at him.

"Are you surprised?" Mr. Nine yelled as he chased after Nami, "Did you really think we were stupid enough to show off our skills in front of enemies? Acrobatic Metal Bats!" The armored bats gleamed in the moonlight as he whipped one forward.

Nami quirked a grin and spun her staff, deflecting the bat to the side and throwing Mr. Nine off balance. Her right leg flashed as she kicked up, a dull thud ringing through the air as Mr. Nine hacked from the impact, literally lifting an inch or two off the ground. He fell to his knees while clutching his gut and Nami's staff smashed into his face. His body spun as it fell to the floor while spittle flew from his mouth.

"The fact that you think we neededto hide anything irritates me." She deadpanned, "Honey, if you had more than a peanut rattling around in that skull you would have already run for the hills."

On another roof, Miss Wednesday was standing on top of her giant duck and staring at Zoro, "I'll defeat you here, Mr. Bushido!" She opened up her coat a little more, revealing that her skintight shirt had a design of three concentric circles, one on each breast and one on her midriff. "Look closely! Captivating Vertigo Dance!" She started shaking her hips and moving her body.

At first Zoro just stared blankly, wondering if this was her attempt at seduction. And then he started feeling a little weird. And then his eyes widened as he crashed to one knee, feeling as if the world had flipped and feeling his gorge rise. Nami's eyes bugged out as she saw it happen, "Holy shit, did that actually work?! Zoro you moron!"

"Excellent work Miss Wednesday! Take this!" The mayor hooked his two thumbs into his necktie's strings and pulled. Out of each curl in his hair, a gun barrel of a decent caliber popped out, "Igarappappa!" Dozens of large round-shot balls fired.

Zoro growled out and forced his body to function, "Like hell I'll let that work!" He roared, whipping Yubashiri out and cutting every single metal ball in half or redirecting them. One landed near the kinda-surprised-that-that-worked Miss Wednesday and exploded, throwing her into the wall. She groaned in pain and slumped over as Nami appeared behind Igarappoi in a Soru and smashed him in the back of the head. The large man flew off the roof and crashed through a building. She let out a sigh and reappeared next to Zoro, "The hell was that, Zoro?" She demanded.

"Shut up!" He groaned, sheathing his swords and staggering to his feet. After one final shake of his head, he felt fine, "What was that attack? I felt as if I had been repeatedly dropped on my head while being force-fed shitty booze."

She snorted in response, "Whatever! Where the hell did Luffy go?"

"Oh, you guys are finally finished?" The Captain's voice rang loud and clear. They turned, and then their eyes bugged out as they saw him sitting on a pile of knocked-out bodies roughly twenty feet high, "What took you guys so long? I won by the way."

"Damn it!" They both snarled, having forgotten about the contest. Nami shook her fist, "We took out the big guys though! You got the mooks!"

"No one said they would count for more than one!" Luffy started to guffaw at their incensed looks as he went from sitting to right next to them in the blink of an eye.

"Whatever!" Nami growled. She grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him to her, "Oh well, time to relax." Her fierce look was replaced with a little grin

"Oi!" the third wheel growled, "Get a room!"

-]|[-

Igarappoi groaned as his eyes popped open. He coughed up some wood chips and brushed the dirt off of him. He began crawling out of the destroyed house, "No way am I going to die here!" He groaned and fell back down, before pushing himself back up with quaking arms, "I must…fulfill my duty!"

"How shameful." He froze at the lackadaisical voice, having never heard it before. He raised his head and his eyes widened in shock. Standing before him were two new people. One was a tall black man with short, spikey dreadlocks. He wore a zipped up, brown trench coat, a pink cravat, and sunglasses. On the coat was a white '5' encased in a square. Beside him was a young, platinum-blonde haired woman with bright green eyes. Evidently, she really liked lemons, because her earrings were shaped like them and her yellow sundress had images of them stamped on the fabric. Finally, she carried a bright green parasol with blue stripes.

Despite the fact that it was the middle of the night.

"You all were defeated by a swordsman, a little girl, and a kid?" The man questioned him with a sneer.

"Kyahaha!" The woman laughed, "Well what do you expect? He's only a Frontier Agent."

"Mr. Five! Miss Valentine!" Igarappoi coughed out a small bit of blood. Nearby, Mr. Nine finally stirred and Miss Wednesday had managed to crawl over to the roof nearby, "Did you come to laugh at us?"

"No, that's just a bonus." Mr. Five deadpanned, smirking at him.

"We're here on official business of course." Miss Valentine claimed airily.

"Excellent!" Mr. Nine wheezed, "With your help, surely we could defeat these Pirates!"

Miss Wednesday had a chill going down her spine, but she forced a sadistic grin onto her lips, "Let's hurry up and finish them! We'll have a hundred million Beli for the organization!"

"You must be joking." Mr. Five's nose was so scrunched up it made Miss Wednesday wonder if he would get stuck looking like he had a turd in his nose for the rest of his days.

Still, the words made her fist clench, 'Did they find out?'

"You think we came all the way down here to help you with your dirty work? Kyahahaha!" Miss Valentine looked to be having a grand old time of it.

Mr. Nine looked utterly bewildered, "Bu- then why the hell are two Officer Agents here?"

"You don't get it?" Mr. Five stared at him like a bug, "Why would the Boss send us here, hmm? The exact words of the Boss were, 'My secret is out.' Our motto is mystery. We never reveal our identities… and especially not the Boss's identity."

Valentine grinned, "So imagine our wonder when we discover some agents from a foreign monarchy skulking about!"

"W-w-wait a minute!" Mr. Nine waved his hands in a warding motion in front of him, "I may wear a crown but I'm not a king! It's just my style."

"Not you, moron!" Valentine giggled at his panic.

'Shit! Our cover is blown!' Igarappoi snarled and unfurled his hair guns. Not one of the Baroque Works members noticed that the three Straw Hats had been chilling up on the roof and had been drawn by the commotion. Or rather, Luffy and Nami were on one roof, clothes looking a little ruffled, and Zoro was on a lower roof on the other side of the street so he wouldn't have to stick around for their fun. "I won't let you touch her!" Igarappoi roared as his guns started blaring. "On my honor as the Commander of the Royal Guard of Alabasta!"

"Igaram!" Miss Wednesday gasped, not even noticing as Mr. Nine looked at her with shocked eyes and repeated the name.

"Too late!" Miss Valentine appeared over Miss Wednesday and landed a harsh kick that she barely ducked under. Her metal hair tie shattered, but she only had eyes for Igaram as he was engulfed in a massive explosion. She fell back, gritting her teeth as Miss Valentine landed, "The traitors are… Igaram! Commander of the Alabasta Royal Guard!" Her smirk widened as she stared at the blue-haired girl, "And the Princess herself, Nefertari Vivi!"

Mr. Nine gasped and prostrated himself in front of Vivi, "Miss Wednesday, you're a Princess?!"

"Cut that out, you moron!" Vivi snarled at him, "Get away from here! You're in danger!"

Up on the roof, Luffy glanced at Nami. He sweatdropped as he noticed Beli marks had once more replaced her eyeballs. He shook his head fondly and then caught Zoro's attention. He jerked his head down towards the street. Zoro rolled his eyes.

"In the name of Baroque Works, we'll take you down right here!" Mr. Five picked his nose, disgusting most of them, before flicking the booger at Vivi.

Zoro blurred into view two meters ahead of her with Kitetsu in front of him. The booger sliced in two and went around both sides of Vivi's head. Upon hitting a house, they violently exploded, to the point the shockwave nearly forced Vivi forward. To Zoro's eyes only, Kitetsu started radiating a violent black and red miasma at the insult it had been forced to endure. They were of like minds, "Eugh! You made me cut your fucking booger?!"

"Mr. Bushido!" Vivi gasped, a small amount of relief in her voice.

"Who the hell are you?" Mr. Five sneered, "What business do you have protecting a foreign Princess?"

"So, your name's Vivi, huh?" Luffy grinned as he threw an arm around her shoulder, making her jump in shock. She hadn't even noticed him appear, "Cute name! It fits you!"

Vivi blushed prettily as Nami landed beside them, her staff on her shoulders, "So if you're a Princess, that mean you have a lot of money, right?" Luffy rolled his eyes.

"Err…not really." Vivi prevaricated, having somehow avoided running into this aspect of Nami before, "We used to be one of the most prosperous nations on the Grand Line, but because of Baroque Works, a rebellion is happening now. I infiltrated Baroque Works to find out who the boss was and what their real goal is!" She looked at Nami's deadpan gaze and giggled nervously, "We… don't have much money now at all. I have…maybe… five-hundred-thousand in my savings?"

Nami's head dropped, "Darn."

"Oi, are you ignoring us?" Mr. Five had enough of listening and pulled out a revolver. He started to breathe into the chambers before flicking it shut and spinning it, "We're Officer Agents. Don't take us lightly, you brats." He flicked the revolver towards Luffy and unloaded all six chambers.

"Luffy!" Vivi screamed in shock as Luffy was engulfed by explosion after explosion. She further boggled at the fact that Nami and Zoro didn't react whatsoever. Even Luffy would get injured by explosives, right?

"Feh, that's what he gets." Mr. Five snorted derisively.

Miss Valentine giggled, "Kyahaha! Who's next, darlings? I'll bury you in the earth!"

"Man, your breath stinks." Luffy walked out of the smoke cloud, completely unharmed. Mr. Five and Miss Valentine's jaws dropped to the floor. He picked his nose without much concern, "That's dangerous you know. You shouldn't point guns at people unless you're willing to risk your life."

"Why you!" Mr. Five snarled and reloaded his pistol, "How did you block my bullets?!"

"Block?" Luffy snickered, "Shishishi, I didn't block anything. You're just weak."

"Weak!" A vein on Mr. Five's head started to twitch, "I'll show you weak! Eat thi-" And then Luffy was right next to him. His fist cracked into Mr. Five's jaw, shattering his sunglasses just from the shockwave. The black man went flying and blew up three houses as he smashed through wall after wall.

"Damn it Luffy!" Zoro roared, a miasma of death surrounding him and Kitetsu, "I wanted to cut him! He got his disgusting booger on my katana!"

"Shishishi, sorry Zoro!" Luffy laughed, making even more tick marks appear on his swordsman's head.

"Don't ignore me!" Miss Valentine's voice rang above them, and they all turned their heads up, "I ate the Kilo Kilo no Mi! I can change my weight from anywhere from one to ten thousand kilos! Don't think that just because you have some trick to survive explosions that you'll win here! Ten Thousand Kilo Press!" The platinum-blonde dropped like a cannonball, aiming right for Luffy. 'Yes! Be terrified and stay still!' She grinned triumphantly, incorrectly perceiving Luffy's lack of movement as his legs being frozen stiff with fear.

She landed on Luffy with crushing force. Luffy's knees bent as he took the impact, but the ground underneath him cracked and crumbled, burying him up to his knees in the dirt. She was now sitting on his shoulders in the perfect position for a poolside game of chicken. She started to sweat as she realized her opponent was decidedly unburied. And then he turned his head up to look at her, "…" They stared at one another, "You done?"

"I'll be good." She replied meekly, holding her own arms and trembling as though she'd stepped into a tundra. She swallowed thickly, "Uhh, just so we're clear, you do know I weighed like twelve tons during that hit, right?"

Luffy turned back to the street and casually walked out of the dirt as if it were water, "Grandpa made us train with heavier weights than that. He hit harder too." She turned blue. Vivi wasn't much better.

"Oi, Luffy!" Nami had a tick mark on her head, "Put her down!"

"Sure!" Luffy chuckled and was about to let her down when he suddenly raised his arm. Another explosion rang out, the biggest yet.

"Kya!" Miss Valentine let out a pained cry. When the smoke cleared once more, Luffy was stone-faced and she was clutching her legs. Luffy had blocked the explosion, but some of the flame produced had singed her. Light burns peppered her formerly flawless legs, and her dress was ripped and burned slightly. She was fighting back tears.

"Oi, oi." Luffy said quietly, and yet his voice carried clearly. His two crew members were cringing, and even Vivi was holding her hands in front of her lips in sympathy. "Isn't she your partner?" He turned his head to look at Mr. Five, who was leaning heavily on a wall. The black man staggered forward, a mad glint in his beady eyes. His form was covered in grime and his clothes were torn. "Didn't you care if she got hit?"

"Care?" Mr. Five spat blood on the ground, "The mission is more important than her life! If she had just kept you distracted and still, I could have taken off your damn head!"

"That's how it is huh?" Miss Valentine bit back a much more emotional sob, forcing her usual grin onto her face despite the pain. She'd really been a fool, hadn't she? Tricking herself into thinking they were friends. Or at least, a little more than just plain old partners. She forced out a giggle, and no one commented on how bitter it sounded despite her smile, "I really shouldn't be surprised." She valiantly fought to keep her chin up.

Zoro and Nami shook their heads, muttering eulogies for the bastard. Luffy reached up and carefully moved Valentine off his shoulders. He held her in a bridal carry for a moment before carefully putting the sniffling woman on the ground. Mr. Five was reloading his pistol, using his own blood rather than breath this time. He pointed it at him once more, his arm trembling like a leaf in a hurricane. 'Come on. Come hit me! I'll turn my entire body into a bomb!' He tensed and let his fruit work over his entire body.

Luffy vanished one last time. And this time, he didn't hold back. Even Nami and Zoro – who had grown used to his movement, or so they thought – didn't even see a blur. Luffy appeared and his leg flashed out. The kick was so hard it powdered several of Mr. Five ribs, who didn't have the durability of a Fishman to protect him. The man exploded as he was sent flying through the air. He arced towards the Cactus Mountains in the distance, and impacted one of the big ones right underneath one of the smaller ones. Another massive explosion brightened the sky. When the light dimmed, the smaller bulge on the cactus was crumbling towards the floor in a shower of rocks and dirt.

Miss Valentine could only tremble in shock. What…what the hell was this kid?

Vivi had rushed into one of the downed houses and came back now, arms laden with what medical supplies she could find. Miss Valentine didn't even notice as Vivi kneeled down next to her, too busy staring at the approaching Straw Hats. She did, however, notice the sting from the cool, wet compress, "Ouch!" She blinked, her jaw lowering slightly, "P-Princess!" Vivi pointedly did not look at her as she worked to cool the burned areas with the wet towel. Slowly, the pain started going away. When she voiced such, Vivi switched to bandaging her up. "W-why? I'm your enemy!" Her voice still shook.

"You're in pain… and you were just betrayed. I can't just leave you like that." At that simple response, Miss Valentine was struck dumb, while the other three smiled over the Princess's kind heart.

After a few seconds of staring, Miss Valentine looked down, feeling ashamed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She smiled wanly, "You've failed your mission, haven't you?" Miss Valentine trembled again, the thought sinking in. Vivi shook her head, "You're just another fool that got caught up in Baroque Works. I know what the plan is now. And who the boss is. That's why they sent you after me. And it's definitely not what you think it is."

"So, what is it all about?" Nami asked as she took a seat next to them, putting her hand on the platinum blonde's shoulder for a moment. Luffy sat nearby and Zoro laid down with a random bottle of booze he found.

Vivi sighed, "Like I said, we were once the most prosperous nation on the Grand Line. One day though, seemingly overnight, things started to go wrong. Pockets of citizens seemed to grow rebellious. Those seemed to spread. Riots and uprisings started appearing. And then I learned of Baroque Works. There were rumors that they had been stirring up the citizens. I looked everywhere, but found nothing on how we could fight these criminals. So, I grabbed Igaram-"

"The guy with the giant rollers?" They stopped to giggle at Luffy, and Vivi nodded her assent.

"-who was the Royal Guard's commander and we infiltrated the organization."

"Huh, you sure are brave for a Princess." Zoro stopped drinking for a moment to comment.

Nami and Luffy grinned in agreement, with the orangette piping up, "She sure is."

Vivi blushed, but hurried on, "We hoped to find the source of the rumors. Then, our goal changed to finding out who the mastermind behind it all was, and what their goal was." She growled, "We found out all right. The talk for anyone willing to drink the Kool Aid was that they wanted to create a Utopia. It's supposed to be an ideal country for all of its inhabitants, with high positions for all Baroque Works members." Miss Valentine was listening intently as Vivi finished bandaging her legs up, though the Princess didn't bother looking up to see what reaction she was getting from her words. "It was just talk for the Boss's minions. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if he killed all or most of the agents once their operation was finished! The true goal of Baroque Works is the conquest of Alabasta!"

Miss Valentine snorted, "I figured as much." She shook her head sadly, "Where else would they put a Utopia?"

"So, what's your story?" Nami asked, noticing how the skin around Vivi's eyes had tightened.

Valentine sighed, "What's there to tell? I was a bounty hunter who was struggling to make ends meet. Baroque Works offered work I couldn't refuse. I thought it would be a simple job, only I then discovered there was no leaving the organization." She smirked humorlessly, "While I'm sure at least some of our members would happily build their new Utopia over your kingdom's ashes, Princess… it wasn't all of us. Some of us just fell in with a bad crowd and knew we couldn't escape. So, I tried to make the best of it. I went along with the Utopia spiel, even when I knew it was probably bullshit."

Vivi clenched her fist, and forced herself to relax, "Why were you a bounty hunter?" She asked curiously.

"I've been alone since I was twelve." She shrugged, "My dad died before I was born. My mother was a candy maker and chocolatier. We were a pretty popular store, and made enough money to live a content life. She taught me all she knew, and we were happy together. Then one night, men broke in to rob us, and when my mom tried to defend herself, one of them shot her. Apparently didn't even mean to, with the way they panicked. They set the house and store on fire to hide the evidence. I watched on from across the street. Mom had heard noises and had urged me away. I memorized every face."

She looked down, tears brimming in her eyes again. Again, Nami put a hand on her shoulder and this time, Vivi followed, "About two years later I found my Devil Fruit." She looked up and smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. "Those men wished they had never been born." She sighed, "And after I just felt hollow. My mom was never coming back. But I knew I could keep her in my heart. I decided I would open the greatest confectionery and chocolate palace the world had ever seen!" She snorted, "Only with no money, there was no way to do that. So… bounty hunting."

"That's a good dream. You got a name?" Luffy asked, the classic Luffy grin on his face.

"Here we go." Nami shook her head in bemusement.

"My codename was about the only thing I actually liked. Kyahaha!" Valentine grinned, "I think I'll keep it. Even my first name works with it… Valerie. Valentine Valerie!"

"Then one last question Valentine…" His grin widened, "How would you like to join my crew?"

She stared at him in astonishment, "I was your enemy five minutes ago! You're too naïve!"

Zoro snorted, "Luffy ain't one to sweat the small stuff."

"He doesn't ask just anybody to join his crew, you know." Nami snickered, "We went through all of East Blue and only ended up with four members, not counting him. There were a couple he could have chosen to ask. Like your bounty hunting buddies, Zoro."

Zoro snorted, "I would have eaten one of my swords if Luffy had asked either of them. And it would have been two of them if either thought it was a good idea."

Valentine rolled her eyes, "What the hell, I'm pretty sure this fiasco already got me marked for death. What's a betrayal going to do? Double death?" She grinned as she finished the sentence, "I'm in! Kyahaha!"

"Yatta!" Luffy jumped and clicked his heels, "A new crew member!"

"He's like a little kid! Kyahahaha!" Valentine started to giggle.

"Kid, yes." Nami grinned salaciously, "Little? That's a different story."

Vivi went beet red as Zoro groaned, "I did not need to hear that." Valentine just goggled.

"Anyway!" Luffy went on, either uncaring that Nami made the comment or the meaning flew over his head, "Who is this boss guy anyway?"

"I couldn't possibly tell you that!" Vivi immediately reared back, "If I did, they'd hunt you down too!"

Nami sighed, "Oh great, now you definitely caught their interest." She ducked her head in bemusement. Indeed, Luffy's eyes were shining and he was on the edge of his seat. Zoro had even stopped drinking. "May as well just spill the beans so I can figure out what absurdly dangerous thing we're doing this time."

Vivi shook her head rapidly, "No way! I know you guys are way stronger than we thought and probably way stronger than even your bounties say, but there's no way you're a match for Sir Crocodile of the Shichibukai!" And then she clapped her hands to her lips in horror.

In response, Nami's jaw was located somewhere near her navel and Valentine had turned blue again. The boys on the other hand…

"Whoo! A Shichibukai already!" Luffy cheered, pumping one fist into the air before he fist-bumped Zoro, "This is going to be awesome!"

Valentine wobbled to her feet and started to leave, "Well, it was a good run while it lasted. I retir-"

"No take-backsies!" Luffy grabbed her and sat her back down. She had crocodile tears streaming down her face.

Nami was holding her face in her hands, "A Shichibukai. A fucking Shichibukai!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Vivi wailed, "It just slipped out!"

"Hey, wait a minute!" Valentine suddenly realized, "Where are the Unluckies? I figured they would have already shown up by now. They're the ones who always report to the Boss and do a lot of the in-organization spying! Especially on sensitive missions like these! Where the hell are they?"

"Who?" Luffy and Zoro quirked their heads.

Vivi was the one who answered, "The otter and the vulture from Reverse Mountain, Mr. Bushido."

"Oh them." Zoro took a swig of his booze, "I blasted them, remember?"

"Oh, that's right!" She clapped a fist into her hand.

"We're safe." Valentine sighed in relief, "Kyahahaha! I sure got you guys huh, acting like I was worried!" They all turned to stare at her blankly.

"Wh-what's this?" They all turned as Igaram showed up. At the sight, basically everyone but Vivi turned green. Igaram was wearing drag. More specifically, he was wearing a disguise of Vivi.

Luffy's eye twitched as he stared at the man, "Even I wouldn't fall for that."

Igaram ignored the comment, "Please! I know I have no right to ask this of you after attacking you. But please! Keep my Princess safe and return her to Alabasta!" He bowed his whole body towards them.

"Igaram!" Vivi yelped in shock.

"Please! I'm sure the King will handsomely reward you for your efforts! You're strong! Surely you can keep her safe!"

"Ehh, what are you being all pitiful for, curly guy?" Luffy picked his nose, "We're already going to do it."

"E-eh!" Vivi and Igaram both gasped.

"What are you acting all surprised for, Vivi? We're friends, aren't we?" Luffy asked her. Nami smiled softly while Zoro stood and stretched. He grinned massively, "And even if we weren't what kind of Pirate King would I be passing up a chance to kick this Croc's ass?"

Vivi ducked her head, tears threatening to spill, "Thank you!" She said hoarsely, "You have no idea what this means to me!"

Zoro drained the last of his bottle, "I'll go wake up Dartbrow and Longnose." Valentine – who had been gaping over the whole 'Pirate King' thing – jerked to awareness and furrowed her brows at the nicknames. And then she blinked and Zoro was gone.

"You guys are scary…" She mumbled.

"Ha!" Nami barked out a laugh, "Just you wait girly. You're going to be able to do that at some point too." She grinned evilly at Vivi, who started to sweat heavily, "You think your previous training with us was bad, Princess? Ohohoho!" The sweating intensified as Vivi started turning blue. "You're officially on board with us for a couple weeks at least. Months maybe. And Luffy likes you already. That makes you officially a Straw Hat! No more easy stuff!"

"That was easy?!" Vivi was now as blue as her hair, "Igaram, can I be the decoy instead?!"

Nami broke out laughing and the atmosphere – which had grown ominous just for the two girls – went back to normal, "Hahaha! You're too easy!"

Vivi sighed in relief, "I thought I was dead for sure." A puff of steam even let her mouth with the sigh.

"Seriously though." Nami went back to deadpan, "You best keep that determination you showed back on that last trip, because we ARE going to be training you."

Valentine sidled up to Vivi, "Uh, Princess? What kind of training are we talking here, exactly?"

Vivi deadpanned and pointed at Nami, "She squats with eight hundred pounds on her shoulders." Valentine eyes popped out of her head, "One of the other guys who looks like a twig does it with two tons." Now they literally popped out of her head, "And the only thing she had to say about it was how annoyed she was that he already passed her."

As Valerie turned to look, Nami waved back at her cheerily. Doom and gloom settled on the two ladies.

Igaram coughed, "Mi-mi-mi! Anyway, I'll be leaving as the decoy. Princess, please hand me the Eternal Pose."

"Eh?" Nami's navigating senses were tingling, "What's that?"

"Oh right, you're new to the Grand Line." At that, Vivi came back to reality, "An Eternal Pose is one that permanently records an island's magnetic signature. No matter where you are in the world, it will always point straight to that location." She handed Igaram the requested item. It looked kind of like an hourglass with only one bulb.

"That's really useful." Nami commented, "Are they expensive or difficult to make? We should probably collect them for islands we may end up wanting to revisit." Nami looked ill at the thought of having to spend any money, but swallowed that feeling at the potential uses.

"Ehh, they're just a little expensive. Not too bad though. They're like a million each."

"A MILLION?!" Nami roared, suddenly looking like a Fishwoman, "THAT'S TOO MUCH!" She crossed her arms into a 'x' in front of her. Then a light bulb went off, "Hey, I don't suppose this base has any of them, does it?"

"Nah, there weren't any Officer Agents stationed here." Valentine giggled, "Really, this place wasn't exactly high up on the priority list."

Igaram came back, carrying a couple dummies in each arm this time. "Please be safe, my Princess. It will be a difficult journey."

"You as well!" She yelled back as he started shrinking, the boat departing. They turned to leave when the boat was getting close to becoming a speck on the horizon, but a bright flash of light and then a thunderous bang drew them back with gasps. An inferno was raging on the waves, where Igaram's boat had gently bobbed.

Vivi did nothing but stare, her fists clenched, "Come on, Vivi! We have to go!" Nami grabbed her arm, and noticed the thin film of blood leaking from the girl's bottom lip from where she was biting down. "You're strong, Princess. We'll get you to Alabasta!" She picked Vivi up easily and cradled her, "You'll see! A crappy Warlord has nothing on Luffy!"

-]|[-

"What do you mean we can't leave without your duck!?" Nami roared at the younger girl, Valerie on their heels. Luffy had vanished to go prepare the ship, and she giggled as she caught the sounds of Sanji and Usopp roaring in both pain and fury. Clearly Zoro wasn't being gentle.

"He's supposed to come when I whistle!" Vivi protested, "I've raised him since the time when he fit in my hand! I can't just leave him!" They neared the ship, having taken a convoluted path back in an attempt to find the damn duck, "Damn it Carue! Where are you?!"

"You mean this duck?" Zoro questioned as he popped up on the deck, "This guy's been here since before I arrived." He pointed and Carue raised his head over the ship's railing.

"YOU WERE ALREADY HERE?!" The three girls roared furiously as they boarded. All three took turns whacking the duck as they passed, "Sail upriver!" Vivi yelled, "We'll be able to catch the current there! It'll put us on course quicker."

Things calmed down from the hectic pace, though that changed when Usopp and Sanji woke up. "What do you mean we're leaving, you shitty Captain?!" They both roared, shaking Luffy back and forth, "This town was amazing! Let's stay longer! Who knows when we'll get to unwind again! And there were so many pretty girls!"

A tick mark appeared on Nami's head, and she vanished in a burst of Soru. Seconds later, lumps and bruises covered Sanji and Usopp's faces as they slumped on the deck. Valerie and Vivi trembled as if they were being hit by a cold breeze as they watched Nami berate them. "I gave you idiots the benefit of the doubt, so way to disappoint me! I can't believe you morons ACTUALLY fell for that damn honey trap! I figured you were just napping and letting us handle it, but noooo~!" SMACK. SMACK! And with two final hits, Nami buried them in the deck. Smoke rose from their abused skulls as she blew on her staff. She then huffed and collapsed it, stowing it under her skirt. "Anyway, what can we expect out of Baroque Works, girls? How many agents do you think they'd send after us?"

Vivi replied first, "There are roughly two thousand members from what I know. And in these waters, there's other err… 'honey trap' towns. We might even warrant a thousand of them sent after us!"

"I'm not so sure." Valerie interjected softly, "Think about it. All the plans are centered at Alabasta. It would make sense not to move half of the manpower away from there. They know we'd be coming, right?" She seemed to firm, becoming more confident as she went on, "Yeah, I don't think they'd send that many at all. Most likely, they'd try with one or two 'disposable' Frontier Agents. Or maybe even Officer Agents who happen to be nearby."

"You might be right." Vivi admitted, "Oh! There's fog up ahead!" They were engulfed as they neared open water, "It's always foggy around here near the dawn." She informed them.

Two or so minutes of careful sailing from Nami later, and they were past the danger. A voice called out, "What a relief! We managed to escape from the people chasing us."

Nami shrugged, "Ehh, we could have taken them too. No sense wasting time though. The Log Pose was already set."

The voice sounded again, though after a moment's pause sounding a wee bit bemused, "Watch out for the rocks. Don't want to scrape the hull, do we?"

"Nah, I made sure we'd pass them." Nami replied again, "Who the hell do you think I am?" Everyone paused, "Valerie, was that you?"

A quick glance at Valerie, who was assuming the cowering position behind a trembling Vivi gave her the answer. She let out a sigh as everyone turned. Sitting on the railing above them was a beautiful, dark-haired woman with brilliant blue eyes. She had long limbs and even sitting, it was clear that she was tall. Taller than any of them, actually. She wore a purple corset which exposed her cleavage since they were only held together at the front by strings, and a matching skirt with white ornaments. On her left arm was a white-and-black arm-band with the letter 'N' on the center, golden medallion. Completing the look was a matching purple cowgirl hat. She had a long, thin, and well-defined nose, and wore an expression of amusement on her face. "How are we today, Miss Wednesday?" Her expression didn't change as she held back a giggle over the trembling former Miss Valentine, "Oh, how interesting. You're here too, Miss Valentine. I take it this is your resignation?"

"H-hi there, Miss All-Sunday." Valerie forced another of her signature smiles, trying to project confidence she didn't feel, "Yeah, it does look that way, doesn't it?" She forced herself to calm down. Her new crew – boy, didn't that feel weird to think about? – was full of strong people. She'd be fine, right?

"Really?" Nami couldn't hold back a giggle, "Miss All-Sunday? Why not just regular Sunday? Did you run out of holidays too?"

Miss All-Sunday's grin widened at the brass ones on the orange-haired girl, "I'm afraid Sir Crocodile doesn't exactly have the greatest naming schemes." She quieted for a moment, "This is a nice ship." She said after glancing around.

"Thanks!" Nami chirped, taking the reins, "Love the outfit by the way. The purple suits you." That got a blink of surprise from the woman, which made Nami bite back her grin, "I assume you're Crocodile's partner?"

"That's right." She confirmed lackadaisically, "You the Captain?"

Nami snorted, "Ha! No way!" She glanced at Luffy, who was surprisingly looking up at the intruder with intense eyes rather than being his normal goofy self, 'Luffy?' She thought, hiding some bewilderment, "That's this lug right here." She pointed at Luffy, 'Why are you staring at her like that?'

Vivi finally could take it no more, "What are you doing here, Miss All-Sunday?!" She growled out, which drew her gaze, "We know you allowed us to follow you to learn Crocodile's identity! Why did you tell him we knew?! What's your game?!"

"Game?" She chuckled, "Why, I just had to help you. Such an enticing story, is it not? Princess goes undercover to save her country! How inspiring!" Luffy still said nothing. In fact, his eyes hadn't left her once, "It really is too bad you're bound to fail."

Vivi grit her teeth, "Don't you dare underestimate us!" She roared back, quite nearly drawing her slasher. The sign of aggression was enough for Sanji – who hadn't gotten a good look at her due to the dim light and the mist – and surprisingly Usopp to spring into action. They landed to either side of her, holding a pistol and a slingshot respectively. With the mood quickly worsening, Zoro had a hand on Wadō and Nami broke the staff out.

Usopp was deadpan as he pointed that out, "Hey, you know what you're doing?" He asked Sanji dryly.

"It appeared my beloved Miss Wednesday was in danger. So, I had to act." The blonde replied.

The dark-haired woman sighed, "Please don't point such dangerous things at me." It happened immediately. Zoro and Nami both felt something slap at their hands. Zoro dropped the blade and it settled on his hip while Nami's staff clattered to the floor. Sanji and Usopp were both somehow flung off the higher deck over the railing. Luffy was the only one who saw a limb dissolving into flower petals.

"A Devil Fruit!" Vivi gasped as the weapons all stilled.

Sanji finally got a good look at the woman as the mist cleared and the day brightened. His eye turned into his signature heart, "Whoa, she's beautiful!"

"But which fruit?!" Was Nami's question.

"Don't get excited." She smiled placidly at them, "I'm not here on assignment. There's no reason for us to fight. I must admit, I was curious to meet the person with the highest bounty to ever come out of East Blue." She gazed at him, "I must confess myself a little disappointed. You haven't said a word, Monkey D. Luffy." Luffy's hat lifted off his head, which drew everyone's attention. It spun through the air towards the stranger. She caught the brim of his hat, and then her eyes widened.

She had never been overwhelmed by speed or strength. Not once, since she had embraced life as an outlaw. She had always claimed both those qualities were meaningless against her, due to her own strengths. She'd gone against dozens of opponents who she had been able to beat despite such advantages. Even a carnivorous Zoan here and there had been no match for her. She'd trained her reflexes and perception as high as she could get them.

She never even saw him move.

His hand was on her own hat now, with her holding his hat in the air. His fingers were lightly pressing into her skull. Not enough to be painful or even discomfort, but for the fact that she felt the unpleasant realization that he could probably crush her skull without her being able to do a thing to stop him.

A tiny bead of sweat ran down the back of her neck as she came to terms with how close she was to dying without ever even coming close to accomplishing her dream. Not even the CP9 agents she'd seen so long ago could move like that. Still, she forced her cool and collected smile back onto her lips, "Hoh, perhaps I was a little hasty saying you were bound to fail, Princess."

Luffy smiled and plucked his hat from her limber fingers, "Only my Nakama touch my hat without getting smacked around." It settled back on his head.

"Indeed? My apologies then." She let her hand drop, "I had no idea it was so precious to you."

He jumped the railing back down to the deck and went back to eying her, and her him. A tic mark popped up on the side of Nami's head, "Are one of you going to propose or what?"

Luffy smirked, "What's your name?"

"Hmm?" Her smile widened, "You already know my-"

"I ain't talking about your Bark Works crap. I couldn't care less about that." His eyes flashed and she just barely held back a tiny giggle. He didn't even get the name right, "And I'm pretty sure you don't either."

"Oh?" She stared for a moment more. This was certainly an… interesting situation she had found herself in. Her mind was whirring at tens of miles per minute. She had no idea how strong this crew was, but she did know that the Captain could most definitely stand against anything Baroque Works threw at him short of Crocodile himself. The only one who would stand even a ghost of a chance was Mr. One due to his powers, and that was only if the fight started with him taking it completely seriously from the start.

And that meant they were dangerous. Dangerous to the plan. Or to Crocodile's plan, at any rate. Her eyes spun idly away from Luffy to Vivi, before turning back. What were her options here? She could strand them. Make sure they could get nowhere near Alabasta. She could see the Log Pose on the one she was assuming was the navigator's wrist. Would kidnapping her work? Keeping her as a guarantee of the crew's good behavior.

No.

All of those ideas were easy ways to get into the crew's shit list. She had established herself as not being an enemy for the time being. That would end the second she touched one of them or damaged their ship, and she was not confident in her ability to get away. Banchi was too visible and slow, which meant she'd have to hide on the island. The Captain's sheer speed alone made her uncomfortable with that idea. Without a truly impressive diversion, there was no way she could lose him. And the broken cactus mountain… she'd bet top Beli that was the Captain's handiwork too. She did not fancy getting on his shit list.

Perhaps coming here to play with them hadn't been her greatest idea. She should have taken such an absurd bounty from the weakest Blue more seriously. There was a reason Crocodile had even contemplated trying to recruit them into Baroque Works. Clearly that was off the table now, if it ever was a viable option in the first place.

What to do?

Letting them go on wasn't out of the question. The Island they were headed for was a deathtrap. Thousands of crews had met their end at Little Garden over the centuries. They would most-likely follow, right?

No, maybe not. Those crews had to find their way there somehow. There was bound to be an unbroken Log Pose somewhere on that island that had already reset. If they were lucky, they could find one. That was perhaps too much to leave to chance.

She needed more information. How strong was the rest of the crew? She'd arrived too late to see the fight, only the aftermath. How sympathetic would they be to her own goal? Could they possibly beat Crocodile? She'd long since figured out the Shichibukai's weakness. All it would take was a modicum of intelligence from any member here to figure it out too. Though making use of that weakness in battle would likely be another story.

Sometimes Miss All-Sunday hated her curiosity. She never quite remembered that it killed the cat.

She had to make a decision. Perhaps parting with some less vital information would get her an edge. With that thought, Miss All-Sunday shrugged, "You're right. I don't." Vivi's eyes widened as she lightly tapped her cheekbone, "Why so surprised, Princess? Did you think I would have let you follow me if I did? Or why I haven't made a move against Miss Valentine there yet?"

"B-but?" Vivi sounded stunned, "But then why!" She yelled, "Why are you working with him to destroy my country?!"

"He has information I need." She replied evenly, "As well as resources. I have my own goals to accomplish. It was merely your bad luck that those goals coincided with Crocodile's."

Vivi snarled angrily, "What the hell do you want then? I thought you had joined him to be his queen!"

Miss All-Sunday couldn't quite hold back the look of revulsion. There were things that could break through even her stoicism. A miasma of death engulfed her, "…Please never mention something so disgusting again. Ever."

At the look, Vivi hid behind Zoro, trembling, her head nodding so rapidly it looked like it was going to fall off.

"So, what is it that you want?" Luffy asked, snickering lightly at Vivi's antics, "And are we ever going to get that name?"

The miasma vanished and she was back to her pleasant self, "Hoh, why so much interest in little old me, Captain?" She asked a bit coyly.

"You're interesting." Luffy shot back vaguely. Even Valerie could tell that wasn't the truth. Or maybe just not the whole truth. He grinned again, "Last chance to give us a name, otherwise you're getting a nickname."

Usopp cleared his throat, "I'd do what he says. The Captain's nicknames are almost as bad as his artwork."

"Very well." She chuckled, "The name is Nico Robin."

Valerie gasped, "H-holy shit! Nico Robin!" As her new crew turned to her in surprise, she went on, "She's got a ฿79,000,000 bounty! They called her the Demon of Ohara after she sank six battleships when she was eight!"

At that remark, the rest of the crew went wide eyed, but for Luffy himself.

Luffy immediately noticed her eyes tightening. She kept the pleasant look on her face, but it was clear that the comment had struck something in her. He began to snicker, "Wait, did anyone actually believe that garbage?" That got a look of surprise from Robin, "How the hell is an eight-year-old supposed to sink six battleships? She doesn't have a Logia fruit."

Robin stiffened momentarily, 'He saw?' That was more information than she'd wanted them to have. Worse yet, it looked as if the others had taken his words at face value.

They looked at her in a new light. Vivi – definitely the one closest to the World Government and therefore the one most likely to see the situation for what it could be – bit her lip, "Why would they do that then? Was it some sort of cover up? But why?!"

Robin almost felt as if his gaze speared her as it sharpened once more, "An eight-year-old with a stupid bounty like that…" He said, seemingly off-handedly, "You've been alone for a long time, haven't you?"

Robin smiled thinly, but when she spoke, the humor had vanished from her tone, "You may be too perceptive for your own good, Monkey D. Luffy." Yes, they most certainly would figure out Crocodile's weakness at some point. He was too perceptive not to. So, the question was… could this crew beat him once they did? And more importantly… how sympathetic would they be to her own goal?

Truthfully, if she could find a way to get what she wanted without Crocodile, she would do it in a heartbeat. The only reason she'd joined up with him in the first place was that she had been at wit's end. After twenty years of nothing but fruitless searching and heartache, this was truly her final shot. And if that required one last act of malevolence from the Demon Child Nico Robin, then so be it.

That left two roads that she could see. If they stood against her, then she would do what was necessary or die trying. If, however, they proved sympathetic, then she could use them as she had so many others. "I am searching for something." She said with some well-hidden trepidation, "For twenty years I've searched for it with single-minded intensity." Her tone was low and her words brought forth looks of disbelief, "It has been my all-encompassing goal! My dream!" The fervor she spoke with surprised her. "Four years ago, I was approached by a fledgling Baroque Works with an invitation to join them. Crocodile had somehow gotten wind of my dream, and told me he could possibly lead me right to it. It's hidden… right in Alabasta." Vivi's eyes were wide. What in the world could be hidden inside Alabasta that would cause such intensity in the normally-composed woman?

Luffy's grin was splitting his face, "A dream huh? I like that word."

"Wait-wait-wait-wait!" Every crew member there cottoned on, "Let's not be hasty now Luffy!" Usopp waved his hands.

"Wait, you can't possibly…" Even Vivi and Valerie were coming to the dull realization of what was about to happen. Nami was palming her face, and Zoro was looking at the sky asking for strength. Only Sanji looked at all sanguine. Or he would have, if he wasn't staring at alternatively at Robin, Vivi, and Valerie with hearts in his eyes.

Luffy ignored them all easily, "So, you don't care if this stupid Croc wins, huh? Whose side are you on?"

Robin scoffed, "Of course I don't. I never once planned on giving that madman what he wanted. And that's without even considering his chronic backstabbing disorder." Luffy burst out laughing, "I quite like my back the way it is. As for whose side I'm on?" She smiled again, "I'm sure you're sharp enough to figure that out."

"Your own?" He blew a raspberry, "Boring!" At that, her eyebrow twitched, and he grinned, "Why not join us then?"

"Luffy!" Vivi interrupted him, scandalized that he'd actually gone through with it, "Valerie I'm okay with, but she's Baroque Works' Second-In-Command and Information Officer! This is crazy!"

"Fufufufu, our little Princess has a point, Monkey-san. I could just be lying to your face right now." Robin couldn't quite keep her renewed amusement down as she teased the Captain some more, "I could just cover your faces with a pillow as you sleep, you know."

Luffy burst out laughing again, "Sure you could. If you wanted to get sent to the moon."

Robin blinked at the response, "Excuse me?"

Nami jumped in, looking amused, "If Luffy didn't wake up for training immediately, he usually had… ahem… fun things happen."

"Oh?" Robin turned her attention to the navigator. Her morbid-humor senses were tingling. "What kind of…fun?"

"Well, there was that time I got thrown halfway across the island into a tiger den." Luffy was picking his nose, and everyone who hadn't already heard the story turned to him and goggled, "They were delicious." He said wistfully.

Vivi had a full-on twitch developing in her left eye, "…That explains soooo much." Privately, Robin agreed, though she had to bite back another chuckle. In her head, a chibi version of Luffy wielding a knife and fork was running after a terrified, full grown tiger as it ran away, crying.

He flicked the booger away and turned serious again, or as serious as Luffy could get, at any rate, "I don't think you're a bad person. And certainly not as bad as you're pretending to be. If you were you would have lead Vivi right into stupid Croc's arms instead of allowing her to see what she needed."

Robin swallowed, once more feeling disconcerted. She'd felt that emotion far more today than she ever wished to. She'd taken a look at his bounty poster and saw a boy grinning like a mad fool. She'd assumed that he would be just that. Judging a book by its cover was a mistake she didn't make often, but it had her on the back-foot practically this entire conversation, "All the same."

"Join us!" He said again, "Join our crew and help us take this asshole down! We'll help you find what you're looking for!"

She sniffed lightly, looking at him through lidded eyes, "That's not a promise you can make." She smirked and her next words were spoken in a challenging tone, "And that would mean you would need to beat whatever information he has out of him."

Zoro spoke for the first time in a while, "And the alternative is any better?" He asked dryly, a matching smirk on his face, "You've already said he's as liable to stab you in the back as he is to help you."

"And that's already the plan." Luffy picked his nose again with a grin, "You're just adding reasons to make us excited, you know."

"True." She responded, though her thoughts were a different matter, 'Unless, swordsman-san, he needs me to find it.' She didn't allow her thoughts to go further. She had a sneaking suspicion their overly-perceptive-when-he-wished-to-be Captain would notice. She turned back to Luffy, 'Truthfully, I'm not even against the idea.' The sight of the extremely close-knit unit immediately jumping to a relative stranger's aid – Vivi's – had irritatingly brought back old hopes and desires for the barest of moments. It had been a long time since she'd had even a fleeting thought of having a place to belong. She closed her eyes and let out a melancholic sigh, 'Funny, I thought I killed that part of myself off.'

"Before I give you my answer, you have to understand, Monkey-san." She opened them again, "I've given up a great many things that I never wished to lose. Far too much to fail." Her gaze was even, and he met it without judgement, "That is the one thing I refuse to do."

Luffy knew he already had her, "You're going to be the crewmember of the Pirate King." That got an eyebrow raised in surprise, "And the crewmate of the world's greatest swordsman, chefs, sniper, and navigator." He held a fist in front of him, clenched tightly, "Our dreams are too big to be stopped by some shitty Croc!"

Surprisingly-genuine laughter bubbled out of her, "My, my, that's quite a bold claim!" She giggled again, "I hope you keep that enthusiasm." She leered at him, "This sea eats dreams like those for breakfast. Lunch." She stopped smiling, "And usually twice at dinner."

"What a shitty dinner." Sanji lit his cigarette with a snort.

"One last thing." She ignored the cook, "Even if I no longer work for him, I WILL have to keep up the charade until we're in Alabasta. He can't start the plan without me." She stopped to think, "And if he finds out, he may take out his rage on Alabasta." That drew Vivi's immediate attention, as she had known it would, "So if I need to act as if I'm leading you into a trap or if I need to give him information, I will do so."

"Like a spy!" Luffy gasped, "Or a ninja!" He made a weird hand sign, "Nin-nin!"

She stayed silent for a moment more as she fought the urge to hang her head, 'What am I doing?' She bemoaned to herself, 'I'm not honestly going along with this am I?' She shook her head, "Then provided I can bring Banchi with me and you all help me with my dream, you can consider me your ally, Captain-san."

"What is a Banchi?" Luffy asked in confusion after a moment of cheering, "Also, WHOOOO! Two new crewmembers in one day!" He got his answer as a very elongated neck poked out from the side of the cabin, "…oh." He quirked his head to the side as he gazed at the huge turtle, "Will he even fit on the ship?" He quickly looked to Sanji and Zoro and they set to helping the turtle onto the ship.

"I said ally, not full crew member." Robin bit back a giggle at the heartbroken look on his face. "For now, at least."

"Refused!" Luffy made an 'x' with his arms, "Full crew member!"

"My, aren't we forceful." She smiled, "I don't mind forceful men, but you've yet to prove yourself."

They were cut off as Vivi stomped up to Luffy, stone-faced, "I just want to say… I don't like this, Luffy." She trembled angrily for a moment, before she let out a breath, "But you're the Captain and I'll respect that. You're already doing me a huge favor by having me aboard." She whirled around and pointed at Robin, "But just so we're clear, I don't trust you!"

"I don't expect you to." Robin answered easily as she finally moved from her seat on the railing, falling down to the deck and landing easily, "I would in fact be pretty disappointed if you did." Her easygoing smile made a return, "Would it help if I told you that Igaram is alive?" She carefully regulated her face as the Princess gasped, "I removed him from the wreckage. He was moderately injured, but will make a full recovery."

Luffy laughed as Vivi gaped and he playfully smacked her shoulder, "See, I knew you weren't a bad person."

Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik

Everyone quirked their ears and turned to look up at the mast. The otter and the vulture pair that made up the Unluckies were seated up on the main mast. They were visibly bandaged and looking rather ruffled. They looked at one another, and then back down at them. And then they bit a hasty retreat, flying as fast as Miss Friday's injured body could go.

"Oh dear." Robin bit back a smile. This certainly would give her a decent gauge of her… new crew's abilities, "They can't get to Crocodile! I was quite a vital cog in his machine. There's no telling what he'll do to Alabasta if he hears I've betrayed him and we're not there to stop him!" Perhaps that was laying it on a bit thick, though none of it was false. She even put enough urgency into her voice to get the point across better, even if she was just reiterating information.

"Didn't you cut them, Zoro?" Luffy asked nonchalantly.

"Nah, I made the blade dull, remember?" Zoro responded in the same tone.

"What are you doing!" Vivi squeaked shrilly, "You heard her! They can't get away."

"They won't." Vivi, Valerie, and even Robin blinked as every single veteran member of the crew said the same thing without an ounce of hesitation.

And then even her jaw dropped slightly as Luffy simply vanished and appeared hundreds of meters in the air right above the flying vulture with the otter on its back. "Hiya!" He said cheerfully.

The otter and vulture pair broke into flop sweats as they started to panic, jaws hanging low. They jerked to action as machine guns popped up on Miss Friday's back and were ready to fire when Luffy's foot connected with her head. The pair flew down like a doomed cannonball. They hit the waves with a thunderous splash. A massive wave blew in all directions as the pair skipped, Mr. 13 flying off the vulture's back. The two Unluckies continued skipping like stones across the water – each time throwing up a spray of ocean – before coming to an abrupt halt by crashing into the shrinking island of Whiskey Peak. "Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed as he hopped in place in the air.

Robin saw this and immediately felt her apprehension rise, 'That move!' She fought her rising panic, 'That's the move those CP9 agents used!' She took a step back, 'Think Nico Robin. Don't react! They're Pirates! The world government wouldn't bother with a charade like this, right? They would just send CP9 directly if they had found me while I was under Crocodile's aegis.' She swallowed heavily as she fought her panic down, "Captain-san?" She called as he landed back on the ship, "Where did you learn to do that?" Her voice was as even as she could get it.

"Hmm?" Luffy looked at her, "It's Luffy, not Captain-san." He chided her, "And my grandpa taught me."

"So, your grandfather is a Marine?" That deepened her anxiety somewhat.

Nami snorted, "He's the Marine as far as most of them are concerned. I'm surprised you didn't already figure it out, Robin."

"Fig-" She stopped, her eye going wide, "You're Monkey D. Garp's grandson?!" At that revelation, Vivi and Valerie both gasped audibly, staring at Luffy in shock.

"Yep, crazy old grandpa." Luffy chuckled, "He was never around much. I usually only saw him once every couple of months, if that. He trained me whenever he showed up for a couple days." He snickered, "Well, I say training, but really I think he just liked having a couple of brats to beat on. Jerk kept wanting to make me a Marine and kept trying to smack the Pirate out of me." He eyed Robin, and despite her attempts to hide her unease, he still realized she wasn't as comfortable as she had been before he got rid of the pair, and he couldn't really tell why. But from her question, it was clear that his Geppō had made her uncomfortable for some reason, "He gave up after a Tenryūbito killed my sworn brother for no reason other than being in front of him." The ones who weren't already in the know – which was only Nami now that he thought about it – reacted in horror. The navigator merely looked at him soulfully, knowing how much talking about that day hurt him, "I think that was one of the worst days of his life. I asked him why he wasn't arresting that bastard and he had no answer to give me. He knew any chance of making me a Marine had vanished with my brother."

Off to the side, Vivi was clenching her trembling fists and biting her bottom lip. Even more than Crocodile, nothing set her off quite like them. She thanked the Gods of the Dessert quite often that her ancestors had refused to ascend like them. There was no love lost between the Nefertari and the Celestial Dragons, and she knew the feeling was mutual. Hearing that this kind man who took her in without asking for anything in return had lost a family member to one of them was already bad enough. Knowing without being told that the bastard who did it didn't even get a tap on the wrist for it enflamed her anger as easily as the thought of that sand bastard causing havoc in her country.

No one noticed the Princess's turmoil as Robin relaxed, "I'm sorry, Luffy-san." And she meant it. She knew what it was like to have something precious torn away from her. And she could see in his eyes that his pain was just as raw as her own. There wasn't any faking that. There was no way he was an agent. That realization calmed her fears more than anything else could have.

He smiled at her use of his name, even if the 'san' irritated him, "Anyway, enough about that! We have new crew members! LET'S PARTY!"

-]|[-

"Luffy." Nami and Zoro had pulled him away from the party for a moment. Even Vivi had managed to unwind a bit despite Robin's presence. Everyone was good and distracted, "Why did you invite her to join the crew?" She asked him, "She's dangerous. How can we trust her?"

"The witch has a point." Zoro had his arms crossed, ignoring said witch's glare with ease, "We went through all of East Blue and didn't even come close to a full crew. You were pretty picky. And now we get two in the same day? What changed?"

Luffy smiled sadly, "She reminded me of how you were, Nami. Back when we first met."

"What? What do you mean?!" Nami asked him rapidly, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"She's lonely. She's been on her own since she was eight years old. And unlike you, she had a stupidly-sized bounty on her head. A beacon for any asshole willing to exploit a young girl." That drew both of them up short, "The whole world must have been after her for decades. I think it's time she finds a home."

Above them in the shadows, a disembodied eye and accompanying ear were listening in. Their owner on the deck was merely pretending to enjoy her newly-acquired book. In reality, she was listening in with no small amount of shock.

"So, you knew who she was from the start? You were staring at her quite closely." Nami asked in surprise, the tiniest amount of jealousy present in her voice.

He shook his head, "No… it was her eyes."

"Her eyes?" Zoro looked at him like he was a weirdo, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"She smiled and laughed… but they were fake." He replied, "Her eyes were dead." He looked away then, frowning as memories came back to him of another person with eyes like that, "She had eyes like Ace used to, back when it was the three of us. Until we gave him a family, he smiled and laughed just like she did. Like he was just going through the motions." He said after a moment of silence, "She smiled like she was already dead inside. As if she questioned her own right to live. Like she didn't care for her own life. The only time that changed was when she talked about her dream."

"Ace did?!" Nami gasped, "Fire-Fist Ace?! Whitebeard's Commander? That Ace?!" Luffy nodded, "But…but why?"

Luffy pursed his lips for a moment, "That's not my secret to tell, sorry."

Nami stared at him silently for a few seconds then asked., "Can she be trusted?"

"I don't think that's the right question." He snickered sadly, "Better yet… can she bring herself to trust us?"

"Alright Luffy." Nami said as she embraced him, "We've trusted you this far. Far be it for us to stop now." She pecked him on the lips, "But until she's a real Straw Hat, we'll keep an eye on her, yeah?"

"Can you not do that while I'm here?" Zoro stomped away in irritation as Luffy scooped Nami up and carried her deeper into the ship, towards the Captain's Quarters. "God damn it! Two fucking seconds, assholes!"

The disembodied body parts on the ceiling vanished in a swirl of pink flower petals. That had given their owner a lot to think about.

-]|[-

Very minor edits here. I changed some dialogue and corrected some issues.

AAAAAANNNND we're back! Damn, this took far too long to get out into the world. I probably could have posted this last week, but I wanted to see how long Little Garden would be, because I predicted it being very short. Dead wrong. This turned into a ~33k word monster that I really had to split in half. So hey, at least the next chapter is already done!

But hopefully it lived up to your expectations! We have our first expanded crew member! Say hello to Miss Valentine, everyone. Hope you like her as much as I do.

And we're grabbing Robin early too! Can't wait for those plans to unveil themselves. Mwahahaha!

Again, big shout out to Thanathos, Seerking, and Vimesenthusiast!