AN: *Quick pre-warning, some people might find this scene graphic? *shrug* it's an operation scene. I chose to be relatively descriptive so that you can live through Carlisle's eyes.

You guys are receiving these as I finish typing them and with only one round of edits – so I'm sorry if you're reading them live and the latest chapter seems a little rough, too.

* I do not own Twilight or the characters within this story, nor the songs.

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"A long endless highway, you're silent beside me
Drivin' a nightmare I can't escape from
Helplessly praying, the light isn't fadin'
Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones
They took you away on a table
I pace back and forth as you lay still
They pull you in to feel your heartbeat
Can you hear me screaming, "Please don't leave me""

Hold On – Chord Overstreet

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Carlisle ✦ Patience ✦ Amnesia

It had felt like a lifetime before I finally reached my car. I gently laid Bella across the back seat and secured her in the seatbelts as best I could for the most stability. I then practically flew into the driver's seat and roared the engine.

It had felt like even longer making my way through the winding roads to the hospital. I knew that I could make it in around ten minutes at top speed, but I had to be careful so that I would maintain a smooth ride. I had been assuring to keep Bella's spine still thus far. It had not been ideal without a stretcher, but I hadn't the time for even a makeshift one.

I had drawn out a fair amount of her essence to rid her of Victoria's venom, and she was still losing some blood even now. I'm sure the pain had rendered her unconscious, but the hefty amount of haemorrhage she had suffered risked her slipping into a coma, if she had not already done so. I could hear her breaths becoming shallower; her heartbeat becoming irregular and less audible. We didn't have much time. I needed to get her into surgery now. She needed blood.

I had asked Alice to call the hospital and prepare them for our arrival. She had told me that she and the others would go on to deal with the bodies in the park.

It had only been just under an hour since I'd left from my shift, but everything that had ensued was so surreal; it surely had been an eternity.

I mulled over the injuries I had noted; the possible spinal injury that Alice had envisioned, the deep and long gash to her left leg, the slice to her opposite thigh, the possible broken arm and bloodied crushed tissue on her left upper arm, the scrape across her throat, the puncture wound to her shoulder… Her face had also been quite swollen and Id' felt a lump on the back of her head.

And those twin pits on her neck; they had represented the vicious Victoria marking our sweet Bella.

My features flared at the thought of the agony she must have suffered. How dare she be marked yet again by that feral coven. It was pain she had already once endure; unfairly, unjustly. It was pain that she may have forgotten but did not deserve.

But, they represented more than that; for they exposed my sin - the very taboo that I had avoided for centuries. The ritual that had potentially saved her humanity. I hung my head in shame as I raced through the darkened country roads, only the beams of my headlights illuminating the way to the hospital. Of course, I had tasted blood before when changing my family into Vampires, but I had done all in my power to just inject them with venom and help them turn. I'd had the self-control. I had not ever drunk human blood, until tonight. I would do anything for my family, but I could not help but feel that I had trodden on my very own core values. The way it had made me feel had only succeeded to conflict with my sense of self.

I mustn't have been too far off from emergency now, I noted, and sure enough around the next corner I was greeted with the glowing red sign reading 'Emergency'. I slowed the car down to smooth the ride for the frail brunette and turned into the emergency bay. Nurse Cally and a fellow doctor, Dr Pia Theo, were waiting at the entrance; stretcher and hospital bed at the ready. I hastily, as humanly possible, left the car and open the passenger doors.

'Pia, slide the stretcher under her legs. I'll get her head,' I had heard myself command gently.

She nodded, already having pushed the stretcher into the car between the front seats and Bella. Together we carefully moved her limp body onto the fabric. I crawled into the car as we lifted her, following through from one door to the other as Pia lifted her out.

We placed her carefully onto the medical bed. I strapped her in.

'Which theatre?' I questioned.

'Theatre Two. Dr Liotto has a pregnant woman in Theatre One,' came Cally's voice.

I nodded swiftly as I began to push her bed toward the Theatre.

Wordlessly Cally rushed ahead, presumably to ready a catheter and the life monitoring treatment.

There had been no question that I would be the head treating doctor for this case; I was the only doctor in the hospital with neurosurgery experience and had been known to be their most talented surgeon in general. There was not one chance in the world that I would put her in anyone else's hands.

My expression was curt. I was paler than I'd ever been. I was a mere egg; my exterior had been perseverance personified as I pushed the bed through the theatre's archways. But inside I was ready to break; liquified and rotten. I only hoped to God Himself that I had made the right call as I began to thicken that egg's shell.

Cally had reigned in a second nurse now, Leila, who was readying blood transfusions and surgical instruments. I noted that she had also called in the anaesthesiologist. I had been lucky to remember her blood type from Forks, and had told Alice to discreetly tip the hospital off.

Cally made quick work to undress Bella and hook her up to the monitor.

I silently strategised how I would approach each of her grievances; prioritising them as I cleansed my hands and arms thoroughly of her blood and scrubbed up.

Pia had been ready the room's X-ray machine and ultrasound so that we could quickly assess the damage to her spine and arm before surgery. Unfortunately, we did not have an MRI, which would have been optimal. If there had been damage, it was imperative that I worked on it imminently for the best prognosis.

She needed blood. She must have lost over thirty per cent.

Cally had already inserted the catheter that she had prepared. Leila had hung a blood pack and they had started the flow of the transfusion.

I momentarily relaxed in relief at the site of burgundy hitting her veins.

Who was I kidding? The team here may have been small but they had been excellent. Bella was in capable hands.

I returned to the bed, covered from head to toe in surgical attire. The sight of her unclothed sliced up body invisibly shook me to my core, as I took in the vision of each injury with a hiss. I proceeded to put on my surgical gloves.

The scent of her blood seeping from the wounds made my nostrils sting and my throat burn. Venom pooled in my mouth. I shook my head, swallowing the thirst away. I would have to soon hunt.

I began work on closing her wounds immediately, starting with her left leg. Leila had pulled out the gauze and disinfected the wound for me already and was already beginning cleaning the next. I winced as I inspected the wound - her sciatic nerve had been severed. I repaired it as best I could. I swiftly sutured the wound closed, cauterising the veins as I went. I then moved onto her opposite thigh and her shoulder. It was a wonder that Victoria had missed any vital vessels.

I cringed at the sight of her arm. There had been a lot of muscular damage and bruising, and I wasn't sure how best to approach it. I decided it'd be best to leave it for now as it was not actively bleeding. We would X-Ray it to check for breaks, and I was pretty certain it would be broken. Leila had taken extra care to clean the wounds. I noted she'd also cleaned her scrape along her throat, the grazes on her cheek, and finally the puncture wounds on her neck; that spot I had claimed for my own.

We wheeled her to be under the X-ray machine and took a few images after gently flipping her onto her stomach - first of her arm.

As suspected, her humerus had been neatly snapped in two. Thankfully it was a clean break but it still had me hissing in sympathy. I couldn't help but let out a joyless chuckle, however, as I once again noted how many previous injuries this silly girl had managed to accumulate over her lifetime; reminiscing to my thoughts from when I had first met her. The day she had become entangled in our lives... The day she had been first fated to die.

Look at all the healed contusions! How many times did her mother drop her? I had thought, knowing Edward could hear me.

'I'm beginning to think the girl just has really bad luck. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.' Edward had said.

Forks is certainly the wrong place for her, with you here. I returned in thought.

I may have made Edward flinch at the thought then, but now it was my turn to recoil. I wished to return us all to Forks; to stay there. To keep her safe. To prevent what I had in front of me - right here, right now.

We gently repositioned her and imaged her head and then her torso.

As the X-rays loaded, I simultaneously prepared the ultrasound probe and pressed it gently to her spine. I grit my teeth at the visions appearing on the screens. She had a hairline fracture to her T9 which quite frankly appeared peculiar; like it had been worse and had healed somewhat. But the bad news was that the disc had majorly herniated and was pressing into her spinal cord, which also appeared slightly damaged. It could have been worse, but this was still news I had dreaded.

Thankfully, her skull seemed fine despite the rather large lump on the back of her head. Her jaw on the other hand revealed a fracture. I would have to monitor her and assess if she'd need to go into the city to have an MRI later.

If Bella wanted to be able to walk again, I would need to perform surgery, urgently, to relieve the pressure on her spine and prevent further damage.

Her vitals had been improving and proved to be stable.

I nodded to the anaesthesiologist.

Although she was unconscious, we still needed to put her under. The shock could be too much for her body to otherwise bear.

We slowly lifted and placed her body face down on the surgical table, her bare back exposed.

I prepared my mind for the procedure as she was induced, noting in my photographic memory where the herniation had been and the tools I would require.

I spoke swiftly to the nurses, who in seconds returned with the equipment I had requested.

I'd chosen to perform a Laminectomy.

Taking the scalpel, I made an incision between her T8 and T10, exposing the flesh below. My nostrils tinged at the smell of her fresh blood, my mouth filling with venom at the scent. I growled inwardly, ignoring my desires and narrowing my eyes with concentration. I noted that it seemed more tolerable somehow, now - the transfused blood diluted her own.

Had I been human, perhaps I'd be crowned in sweat right now.

Making quick work with my stable and skilled fingers, I removed the spinous process of the vertebra, releasing the pressure on her cord. I noted some abrasions; these would take some time to heal, but I had seen worse in the past. Her prognosis had looked good.

We sutured her up and moved her back to her bed. She had still been receiving the blood transfusion; Cally had already replaced the bag once it seemed. Quiet whispers were heard, with them deciding which ward to move her to.

We tended to her broken arm; splinting it and wrapping it in bandage. It'd need a cast.

We watched over her for long while. We had chosen not to medically induce her; her body needed the rest after such a shock to her system. Her vitals had been maintained. Everything looked promising.

After some time had passed Cally and Leila began to wheel her bed away to her ward. I couldn't help but allow a small smile to play on my lips when they had said that she'd be in the very same bed number that young Benjamin had been in, who's regular attraction to injury had so reminded me of her. It struck me then, that he must have been riding in the very same park as her. I shuddered at the thought. It could have been him instead of that other young woman.

I watched until they were out of sight.

I finally allowed myself to breathe a sigh of relief. The worst was over. She hadn't had any complications during surgery despite already being unconscious. It had been a success. There was a chance that she would not immediately be able-bodied, but I was confident.

I soundlessly made my way to my refuge.

I stripped myself of the surgical clothes I had worn and made my way to my office. Stepping inside, I shut the doors and turned the blinds closed. The clock read three thirty-two.

I fell into my chair and all but collapsed onto my desk, my head in my hands. I silently and tearlessly cried; noiseless sobs and heaves exuding from my core. I allowed myself to embrace all of the emotions that had been welling within me for the past several hours.

I felt broken. I felt bruised. I felt confused. I felt enraged. I felt defeated. I was still not sure if I had made the best decision in saving her humanity, or if it would have been safer for her to be turned; only time would tell. My gut told me that I had made the right choice; for there had been dangers out there far worse for her to be anything but human. For her to know of our world once more.

But I didn't want to listen to my inner rationale.

I had killed a man tonight that my cousin had once loved.

I had done the unthinkable and consumed human blood. Bella's blood.

I had interfered once more in the young woman's life to which we'd already caused so much trouble.

The fragrance of her crimson fluid lingered around me, even now, stencilled and embossed into my memory.

I had hated that I had tasted it. I had hated that I had adored it. I had hated the way it had made me feel. The way it still made me feel. The way I almost faltered during her surgery from the scent.

I knew that although it tempted me, I could keep control, but it still wounded me all the same.

I had wanted to scream out. I wished that I could have cried real tears. I had wanted to up-end my desk thinking about the occurrences of the night. But I fell silent; head in my hands and on the brink of impossible paradoxical exhaustion.

The only serenity that had been brought to me was this; Bella was safe. She was here. And we would protect her, no matter the cost.

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Extended AN: The following quotes are from Midnight Sun by S. Meyer.

Look at all the healed contusions! How many times did her mother drop her?

'I'm beginning to think the girl just has really bad luck. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.'

Forks is certainly the wrong place for her, with you here.