The insane tales of MLP
chapter 20
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Spike was busy finding gems for Rarity. Soon he was digging deep into the ground.
"My word, these gems a certainly down there deep, aren't they Sp..." That's when the ground collapsed in the whole, sending Spike and the gems falling.
"Ow." he groaned pushing his head up and rubbing the bump on his head.
"Ooh! A male fell from the sky with romantic gifts."
"Huh?" He looked around and saw Diamond Dogs, but these one were female with more curvy builds.
"A little on the short side, but he's very, very cute!"
"Female Diamond dogs?"
"You can call us bitches, it's the female term for dog anyways, we don't mind who calls us that anyways."
"Um, okay. Well it was nice seeing you, but I better get going." he replied walking away from them.
"Come-on, stay for a while. It'll be fun!"
"Yeah, you look pretty hurt. You can have fun here before leaving."
"That's very nice of you b...bitches, but I really must be getting back to my friend."
"A...girlfriend?"
"Nope, just my crush."
"So...you're single?"
"Yeah."
That's when they started walking closer and then took off their vests even though they did nothing to cover them up.
"Uh...what's going on here?"
"It's mating season for dogs."
Spike's eyes widened as he saw each bitch stare at him with half-lidded eyes while coming closer to him. "You don't say..."
"Yeah, the guys are busy fighting for dominance. Winners of fights will get to mate with us, who have been locked-up here in this room."
"So the entire female diamond dog population..."
"Is right here little guy!"
"So don't try running."
Spike then ran!
"Fuck no! I ain't getting death by snu snu! Especially not from dogs!"
"What's wrong with being a dog?" Said a diamond dog that was blocking his path. "Besides, you kinda smell like one."
"Do not!" Spike ducked down and ran past her legs and reached the door.
"That door is locked tight!"
Spike then melted the steel door and ran!
"We're free girls! Let's reward our fleeing hero!"
Meanwhile...
"Do you guys hear that?"
"A male has sprung the females from their solitary confinement!"
"Let's get our girls back and then kick his ass!"
The male Diamond Dogs followed the scent of the bitches while Spike kept running down random tunnels. He then slammed into one.
"Oh, well aren't we affectionate?"
"Ah!"
Then he ran into a male!
"Ready to die?" Then the dog was tackled!
"Whoa! Stop! I haven't proven my worth!"
Fuck what you're worth!" She replied as Spike was still being pursued.
He kept running from both genders and ducked down a small hole as they ran by.
"Ha! We have great noses and we're great at digging! You can't escape!"
Spike then began tunneling his way out! That's when...
"Knuckles the Echidna?"
"Spike the dragon?"
"Get him dogs!"
"I'll leave the rest to you!" Then Knux began holding off the male dogs.
Spike kept digging and eventually popped his head out in the middle of what looked like an Asian version of Ponyville.
"China?"
That's when...
"Wow! China! Just like in the cartoons!" Said Johnny 2x4.
Spike then dug again and then...
"Whoa...Bugs Bunny! Can I have your autogr..."
"There he is bitches!"
"Another time then! Also, Albuquerque is that way!"
Spike eventually found his way back home! "I'm home!" he cheered.
"Hey Spike, these nice ladies agreed to be free labor."
Spike turned to see Twilight gesturing to the bitches. "Crap!"
Each one grinned while Twilight seemed oblivious to their lustful stares at her assistant.
"Hey little guy! The males may have given up on trying to kill you, but we haven't given up on trying to mate with you."
"Yipe!" Spike bolted from them.
They then managed to grab his leg!
"Finally, we can mate with." Then she was sent flying from a blue beam!
"Rarity!"
"Hands off my dragon bitches!" she yelled hugging Spike close to her. Rarity then proceeded to shoot all of them with her magic.
"Rarity? Those were my brand new employees!" Twilight complained.
"I don't care. No one touches Spikey-Wikey."
"Thanks Rarity! You really saved me." "Why of course, that's what friends are for!" "She friendzoned him girls! Get him!" The Diamond Bitches were more determined this time!
"Oh-no, why me?"