Court House
Trina's future no longer looked bleak, she was free. She couldn't wait to tell Spencer. Then she remembered he was there, waiting on pins and needles as though the verdict really had an impact on him. He was confusing as he was infuriating. Refusing to dwell on trying to figure out Spencer Cassadine's 180 she took a moment to welcome congratulations from her friends and family. Portia had invited everyone to their house for an impromptu celebration. Everyone except Spencer. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand as she turned to face the only person she hadn't spoken to…him.
"Having a good day?" He teased causing her stomach to flip over and over. How could the sound of his voice elicit such a visceral reaction in her? She closed her eyes, took a deep breath then stilled herself as she turned to face him.
"The best." She smiled brightly up at him. She wasn't expecting the happiness that radiated from him. The genuine smile that cracked his cheeks. He was genuinely happy for her but there was also a sadness behind his eyes that could be easily missed if you didn't remember the art of Spencer. She remembered every line, crease, splash all of it. Still, she was confused.
"What is going on with you? Something is going on." She stepped closer to him, eyes full of concern. She reached out her hand to touch his arm, the crisp cotton fabric smooth under touch. He looked down at her hand then smiled.
"Today, today is about you. Let me be happy for you." He needed a sliver of happiness in his life. She wasn't his to have but she was his happiness even if she didn't know it. She was the light in his darkness. She paused for a moment then stepped back as if correcting herself, he missed the loss of warm from her touch.
"I don't get it, Spencer. You risked your freedom for me? Why?" He worked his jaw as he thought of how to tell her. His nerves kicked in causing the words to stick. There was so much that he wanted to say.
"I get it. You have every reason to be confused but I promise if you would just hear me out." He took a breath.
"The thin…the thing…" he sighed as the words tripped over his tongue. He was a bumbling fool. If only he could just say it. He looked up briefly, he saw Rory approaching so he tried to rush the words out. "The thing is I never—" big mistake.
"Hey, you ready?" Rory called.
"Spence and I were in the middle of something." Her eyes never left Spencer's.
"Your folks are making a big to do. He's not invited and I'm sure that you don't want to be late." Trina was caught, ensnared in Spencer's gaze. They were on the cusp of something. A breakthrough? Possibly, she intended to find out
"Say what you have to say, Spencer." She challenged her gaze boring into him.
"What I have to say is between us. We have an audience in that guy ." Spencer tilted his head in Rory's direction. She shook her head, hands clenched in frustration.
"We've had an audience for some time. If you have something to say, then say it?" Spencer worked his jaw. He wasn't going to taint what they needed yo discuss. To have it be seen as some way to get one up on the rookie cop.
"Trina, there is so much that I want…no, that I need to say. I need to say it to you, alone." Spencer said softly, his gentle gaze holding her confused one.
"Trina and I are dating. If you can say it in front of her, you can say it in front of me." He had seen them kissing in the park. He had noticed the way the cop lingered waiting for her after her trial. He knew there was something there between the two of them, but his heart didn't want to acknowledge it. He waited and waited for her to correct him but she never did. She just looked uncomfortable. Dejected, he hung his head. His normal cocky grin and snarky retort were gone. He was crushed, he didn't have much left. Every single day that he had to be without her, have her think the worst of him turned his world a deeper shade of grey. Added to his father's betrayal he was broken. What was it about him that made people not want to stick around?
"Is that where we are now? We can't have a private conversation?" He finally spoke.
"Spencer..." She sighed in frustration. "Do you ever get tired of messing with my head? Of keeping me dangling on your string like I'm some sort of puppet?" She spat, her voice shaking with emotion.
"To Moro mu" he said softly.
"Trina, you have just achieved a huge victory. Don't let him ruin your happiness." Trina shook her head as if to shake off the effect that he had on her. It didn't work, she was still dizzy. Her legs didn't feel strong enough to hold her up. Her stomach was doing somersaults, her heart ached. She hated that he could infuriate her so one moment and in the next completely enrapture her. Make her want to touch the flame that burned between them and not care if she got burned. Maybe she would enjoy the burn. Maybe she could be engulfed in the flame, lost in it. To explore what it was between them before Esme had come along. She had to shake it off. He had hurt her more than once. She wasn't about to let it happen again.
"Right. I don't want to be late." She turned to Rory, a safety net of sorts. He was reliable, sweet, good on paper and good for her. Yeah, she needed to focus on the one who chose her. He reached out his hand and she took it; it steadied her if only for a moment. She could hear Spencer curse under his breath, but she forced herself to walk away…with Rory's hand in hers.
"Spencer don't let her walk away with-"
"You heard him. I ruin her happiness." He placed his hand on his chest as he struggled with his next words. "I.. bring her nothing but pain." He fought the hot tears that burned against his eyes. "She deserves better. I know that. It's just so damned hard to accept because she's in me." He let out a shaky breath. "She was the light in my murky world. I held on to it. I am holding on to it but it is turning dim." He swallowed the lump in his throat.
"Maybe it's my karma." He laughed. "I get to feel the pain she has felt." Cam threw his arm around his cousin.
"You have worked to do. You have to earn her trust but I have faith that you can make it work. It is not time to give up, Spencer." He said as they walked out of the courthouse.
"She's dating that security guard." He said sadly.
"Yeah, but I don't really care about his feelings. Trina would be happier with you." Cam shrugged and Spencer felt a tinge of hope tug at his heart.
"I am going to prison. By the time I come home…" Cam smiled.
"You just leave that to me." He had a plan, he just hoped that it would work.
Park
Spencer wasn't a fan of self-pity but he didn't have an opinion about self-loathing. Maybe because that was what he felt in the moment. He had taken a bottle of scotch from his home and decided to indulge on the launch and continued to indulge while taking a walk in the park. The park, the park was their spot but she chose to have a pic...nic with the dutiful officer in their spot. He took another swig of the brown liquid, letting the burn wash over him.
Burn...His relationship with Trina went up into flames. He had to laugh at it because they were that... A flame that could spontaneously combust at any second. That could engulf them in the blaze. He didn't have that with Esme.
Esme...
His father's betrayal. He had dismissed him coldly but deep down he didn't want to believe that his father could hurt him the way he had. He had cut him deep and he didn't know if the wound would ever heal. Didn't Trina deserve better than a wounded rich boy unloading all his dysfunctional problems at her feet? She did. Another swig. He could no longer run. The feelings were their and they were forcing themselves to be felt. He sunk to the cold ground, it was a frosty night for August. All that he had wanted was to reinforce a bond with his father. To be loved by him. Yet, there he was broken and near tears.
It was the lonely times when he missed his mother most. He wondered what her love would be like. If she would fight for him, stand beside him when he needed her most. The tears that burned at the back of his eyes blurred his vision but he refused them.
"Spencer?" The melodic way she said his name always did things to him but he didn't want her to see him in the state he was in.
"You shouldn't be out here this late." He said coldly.
"You shouldn't be out here looking like a wino drinking from a bottle but I won't focus on that—"
"Walk away Trina!" He said more loudly than he wanted, his words slurred.
"You're drunk? Just great! Get up!" She went to help him up.
"I have brought nothing but misery into your life why are you trying to help me?" He stood slowly, more to help her than himself.
"Maybe I'm just a sucker but I can see that you are hurting. We were friends once." She looked up at him.
"Were we? I tend to have 'friends' more so than friends. Esme was my girlfriend at one point and during that time do you know what she did?" Trina crossed her arms steeling herself. Of course, Esme, the woman he loved had him in such a state.
"She had sex with my father." He put his hand to his chest. "Who does that? Was I not enough? Am I just a clown, Trina?"
"Spencer, you are many things." Sexy, charming, intelligent, funny, annoying but… Trina cleared her throat shaking off her thoughts. "Many things but a clown you are not."
"Pfft! You are such a flattererer Trina Rob-bin-sin! You know you don't believe the lies you tell yourself." She placed her hands on her hips then leveled him with a hard stare. He put his hands up in defense.
"Hey I said nothing about Officer Dim." He laughed at his attempt at a joke. "Cause the lights aren't on upstairs or anywhere. Just a dud." Off her look he hung his head.
"Okay, sorry. He is the bees' knees." He put a thumb up in mock approval. A beat of silence passed between them. It was nice to forget if only just a split second. He took a swig from the bottle as he remembered.
"But you know, there was no love lost between Esme and I. I was no longer in love with her. I don't think I ever was, but my father…" He choked. "He was supposed to be my dad. He was supposed to consider how much that act could hurt me."
Trina observed him standing there looking dejected and barely standing. Her heart broke for him.
"How could he hurt me like that again? After everything, how could he? I know that I don't matter to most people, but I wanted to matter to him. I thought that maybe I could matter to him." Tears escaped as he frowned. She approached him, taking both his hands in hers as she looked up at him, determined.
"You better believe that you matter because you do, Spencer. You matter." He stepped back from her.
"Not to you, not anymore." She gasped a frown. Was that what he thought? After all that they had been through he thought that he didn't matter to her. Maybe he shouldn't but damn if he did. He did matter. She shook her head then hugged him. Somehow that made him come undone. The flood gates opened as he held onto her like she was his lifeline. Like he was sinking into the abyss and she was his life saver. His tears flowed and she cried for him. She couldn't imagine a parent betraying a child that way.
"Don't let them ever make you feel otherwise. Do you hear me?" He nodded solemnly but never let her go. He couldn't help but allow the flood gates to open. Her embrace was warm, it had a certain tenderness to it. He allowed himself to indulge in her comfort. He held on for a moment longer than he should before pulling away.
"That was…embarrassing. I'm sorry." she looked up at him as he took a long swig from the bottle letting the burn soothe him. There was an odd sense of comfort in the pain and he had inflicted a lot on himself that night.
"It's okay to cry Spencer." He noticed her tears but didn't ask. He didn't want her pity.
"You don't need to feel sorry for me, Trina. I know you would likely walk past me if I weren't in such a pitiful state." He said sadly.
"I don't know if this is fortunate or unfortunate for me, Spencer, but I am one of the people you matter to." She pinched the bridge of her nose.
"So just come on we need to get some water into you and food." He grinned then saluted her. She couldn't help but chuckle. He was going to feel the effects of his bender the next day. She sent a text to Cam, he had the keys to Kelly's and she had hoped that he would help.
Cam had sneaked them into Kelly's. He looked at his cousin's drunken state and wondered if he had finally told Trina the truth.
"You know, Uncle Marteen compar—ed my life to Greek Mythology. We Greeks hassa lot daddy issues..." Spencer giggled then spread his arms. "I am no exception," he snorted then tried to swig from the bottle, but Trina grabbed it from him.
"Hey! Thash nuh niche." Trina looked at Cam for help.
"What is going on?" Trina sighed; it wasn't her story to tell.
"It is not my story—"
"It's ok!" Spencer slapped a hand on Cam's shoulder. "Uncle Lucky…I always hated that name..."
"My father…no the man who made a donation th
at led to an inconvenience…" he pointed to himself. "That would be me" He snorted.
"The newsance, the little blip in his plans." He laughed.
"He slept with Esme all while thinking I loved her." He slapped Cam on the shoulder. "Can you imagine?" He stood stumbling.
"Course you can. Pie! I'd like pie." He spun looking for pie as Trina also looked around for pie while trying not to tear her hair out.
"He needs fat, anything to soak up the liquor." She told Cam.
"We have some apple fritters and cherry pie." Trina nodded then got him both with bread and water. She brought it to Spencer who was tousling a very frustrated Cam's hair.
"Spencer!" Trina snapped her fingers in front of his face.
"Yes ma'am." He grinned toothily.
"You need to eat." He looked at her from under his lashes.
"I love it when you boss me around. It makes me want to do whatever you tell me to…However you tell me to do it." His eyes traveled from her head to her toes then back up again. His speech was slurred but she blushed all over under his flirtation. He opened his mouth, reminding her of a baby bird. Then he frowned.
"I think I need to sit down." He started to sit on the floor. Cam helped Trina get him to one of the rooms upstairs.
"Should we call an ambulance? He's not a drinker and he's had half a bottle." Cam shook his head.
"He's over the limit but I don't think he has alcohol poisoning. We can keep an eye out for him." Trina was uneasy but she agreed.
"I'm gonna be sick." Trina rubbed his back while Cam held the bucket. "I'm really hot." He peeled his shirt off then laid on the bed. He reached for Trina.
"Can you lay with me a while? I have things I want to say." He barely had his eyes open.
"I will if you drink this water," he smiled.
"Deal." She got him to drink most of it then she laid with him.
"What do you need to say." He looked at her.
"You won't believe me. I'm a mess but even in this mess…I can see how beautiful you are. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm sorry I never told you. Showed you. Trina…" he was out before the next words could leave his lips.
Trina looked at Cam. "He's really drunk. I've never seen him drunk."
"We should take shifts. I'm up for a while. So, get some sleep and you can have the next shift." Cam reasoned not wanting to say much because deep down he wanted to tell her the truth, but he knew it was for Spencer to tell.
Trina didn't get much sleep. She finally drifted to sleep at the crack of dawn with a drunk Spencer draped around her petite frame. She couldn't lie, it felt good being in his arms. She knew it was just an illusion. He was deluded from his drunken night fueled by heartbreak.
Spencer awoke to a slamming headache. The room spun still, and he felt like he was about to puke but nothing came out. He felt terrible. Cam who was sitting in the chair across the room walked over and handed him a drink. He frowned.
"This along with water will help. I researched hang over remedies. Try not to wake her. She was so worried she watched you all night." Spencer managed a look at Trina. Moving his eyes was a bit of a strain as the slightest movement invoked pain. He gladly took the drink and tried it but almost threw up again.
"Hold your nose then chase it with this." Cam handed him a bottle of water and acetaminophen. Spencer managed to get everything down.
"I have to start my last shift before classes start. I will bring you both food later." Cam makes his exit. Spencer settled back in bed wrapping a sleeping Trina in his arms. She stirred then groaned.
"ugh." She sighed.
"Morning." Spencer smiled against her head