The insane tales of MLP

chapter 26

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Spike was strutting down Canterlot in big sunglasses.

"Hey Sassy Saddles, I know a saddle you can wear in bed!"

Sassy Saddles rolled her eyes and walked past him.

"Upper Crust? More like a tasty pie!"

"I never!"

He was strutting around using lots of pick-up lines that failed. This was a day where he just wanted to goof off and do something out of nowhere for himself.

"Ooh, now don't you have just a nice big round flank Princess Luna. Makes me wanna squeeze it forever!"

Said princess looked at him with wide eyes as he kept walking past her. "Halt Spike!" She shouted.

The dragon stopped and turned towards her. "Uh...yes?"

"Do you really like my moon?"

"Y...No-yes? Yes-no?"

"Well...if you ask me...I'm actually very flattered..."

"Zuh?"

"In fact, that is the first time someone has been so forward with their compliments."

"But...I was just fooling around!"

"Eh, love ain't perfect."

Spike's jaw then dropped.

"Now, let's go to bed so we can have a fun date tonight!" She said as they flew to the castle.

Meanwhile...

"A-a-a-alright a-a-a-anim-m-mals, l-l-l-let's t-t-t-take o-o-o-v-v-ver C-c-cant-t-t-erl-l-l-ot!" Said a lion on crack.

"Yeah!"

So Monkeys, Giraffes, Crocs, Rhinos, Elephants, Hyenas, Zebras...

"Excuse me?" Said Zecora.

Alright no zebras, hippos instead.

Animals of all kind ran wild as they escaped the zoo!

"Why did I have to give Boh the Lion an intelligence drink and crack?" Said a teenage colt.

"Yeeeaah...who knew this would happen?" Said his sarcastic friend as the both of them are being sent to jail.

We now cut back to Luna and Spike.

"Alright, it's nap time." Said a giddy Luna.

"Well, I have been a little tired for a while."

"Who said we were going to sleep?"

"You did, we were gonna sleep until it's night time for a date later."

"Oh fine." Then she cuddled Spike like a Teddy Bear.

Spike blushed and tried relaxing.

And as these 2 slept, animals continued to attack Canterlot!

"Run!" cried Blueblood before a croc swallowed him.

That's when a gorilla used an anaconda to catch Fancy Pants and throw him into a cage.

All over the citizens were being locked up.

"My leg!"

"That's what you get for eating the legs, wings and breasts of my chicken brethren." Said a rooster.

All of this left unnoticed in Luna's bedroom.

"Who w-w-w-wants a t-t-t-treat?" Offered Boh.

"I want a treat! Lay that cake on me!" Said Princess Celestia.

Boh gave her the cake, and then Celestia hopped wanting more.

But a penguin took the last slice.

"Tutuuutttuuuuttttuutu...Tutu! That's for my rorororororororo...royal pepepepepepepepepepe...pet!"

"Oops, sorry king Boh"

Meanwhile in the dream world...

Spike tried to pull his head away from Luna's kissy face, but this was Luna's dream so she was stronger.

His face got covered in blue lipstick marks as she kept hold of him.

'Wow, who knew I got swag even though I clown around?' Spike thought.

Luna kept kissing him and his body looked like it was painted blue at this point.

That's when the alarm clock went off, awakening the both of them. Spike then struggled to get free of her grip, but then Luna held him with her magic.

"We both need to freshen-up, so as I send someone to pick-up a tux and dress, we'll be taking a shower together where I'll let you rub soap on the flank you like so much."

Spike gulped while sweating.

Luna walked into the bathroom with Spike hovering right behind her.

After the shower...

"Whew, that was invigorating!" Said Luna.

Spike walked out, looking at his hands. 'I can't believe she actually let me do that...'

"Hey Spike, you wouldn't mind putting lipstick on my lips for me would you?"

"Uh, no." he replied walking over and grabbing the lipstick.

Spike then applied the lipstick all around her puckered lips. After he did, Luna pulled him in.

"Whoa! Don't! We got all night okay?"

"Meh, why not? We're still gonna get laid before the night is done."

Then she started littering his face with the same shade of lipstick marks as in the dream.

Then a knocking to the door came.

"Ooh, our dress and tux are ready."

She then opened the door to see a monkey riding a hyena.

"Ook! Ook!"

"Thank you child." She said as she took the clothes.

"Eek eek Aah aah!"

"Oh, right a tip." Then she hands the monkey a banana. "Good night."

Spike scratched his head before he was handed the tux.

"I can't wait for you to rip this dress off of me."

"Aren't you going a little fast with this?"

"Spike, I want to fuck, we can be a romantic couple, just don't make me go through the steps to sex, please?" She said with puppy eyes and a quivering frown.

Spike tried closing his eyes with his arms crossed.

"Please, I've been on the moon for 1000 years and I still haven't gotten action!"

"Doooooh...fine! I can't refuse a face that sad! We can fuck after we get back."

"Yay!"

Then they left the room, not even noticing the ostriches, bats, leopards, chameleons, iguanas, and Discord in the hallway.

They walked through Canterlot while numerous animals were walking around like they lived there their whole lives.

"Is something different?" Spike asked.

Then they saw Donkey Kong showing how he's the world's strongest gorilla.

"Nope."

"Nope."

Then they made it to the restaurant. There a polar bear was in a waiter's outfit.

"Hey, you look familiar." Spike noticed. "You wouldn't happen to know Harry the bear do you?"

"Roar, growl, growl."

"The same middle school huh? Nice, I'll tell you he said hi."

"Roar, roar, growl."

"I'll have this." Said Princess Luna.

The bear wrote down her order.

"I'll have some of this." Spike said.

Then the Polar Bear left to give their orders to the chefs.

"I still feel like something's different."

Then they saw an angry bull flip the table.

"Nah..."

"Yeah, nah..."

As they waited, Luna moved her tail under Spike's chin and tickled it.

"Haha...whoa there Princess Luna, the appetizer isn't here yet."

"I disagree."

Spike then fought back and began tickling her!

"Hey! No fair!"

They continued their tickle fight until the food came. Both dug in with gusto. And then after their meal, they decided to go to the zoo.

"Wow, I haven't been to the zoo since..." Then Spike paused after seeing ponies in captivity.

"Since when?"

"Since when I was still trying to make complete sentences...but Princess Luna...take a good look."

"The tapir exhibit? What could be the prob..." Then she saw the ponies. "What in the?" Then Luna looked around seeing animals roaming the streets like they were the citizens. "Spike?"

"Yes Luna?"

"Step back...I'm gonna do some animal control." She said in a state of tranquil rage.

Spike gulped and took cover.

As explosions could be heard across the city, Spike used this opportunity to board a train back to Ponyville as she knocks the stuffing and crack out of Boh the Lion.

"Now, where was I?" she tapped her chin.

Spike made it home, he took off his tux and got into his bed.

"What a night." But...when he turned around to the other side of his bed. "What the?"

"Didn't I say we're both getting laid after?" Luna said with angry eyes. "Now come here dragon!"

"Yipe!"

And so the night had Spike scream in both fear and pleasure.