Chapter Thirteen: Revelations

Remus watched as the young teen, barely older than Harry himself, had wheeled his charge out of the ICU and deeper into the hospital. He wished he had been allowed to go with them, to make sure Harry settled alright, but he understood why he couldn't. After making sure they had gotten all of Harry's things out of the hospital room, he headed to the main lobby of the hospital and floo'd to the burrow. The Weasley's had sent word that Sirius would stay with them until Remus returned, and he knew they would want an update on Harry.

Remus stumbled into the living room of the burrow, exhaustion hitting him like a ton of bricks. The burrow, like always, was alive in a flurry of activity, but before he could even get his footing, Ron and Hermione were at his side, bombarding him with questions. He wasn't sure why Hermione was even there, but he figured Ron had sent her an owl. Harry was very fortunate to have such caring friends.

He hadn't even answered their questions when the matriarch of the family came in and shooed them away, leading Remus into the kitchen and offering him a cuppa.

He smiled gratefully, looking behind him to see the teenagers huff off in annoyance. "What have you told them?" he asked nervously. He knew Harry wouldn't want everyone knowing what had happened, but he wasn't sure how much they could prevent it.

Molly smiled good naturedly as she handed him a steaming cup. "Not much, but we couldn't lie to them… and Sirius showing up in the state he was, in the middle of the night… They guessed more than I would have liked."

Remus nodded, relishing in the steaming cup. The tea and coffee at the hospital had been okay, but there was nothing like homemade. "Well we can fill them in then, I want to protect Harry's privacy, but I couldn't live with myself if they were worried sick this whole time. Speaking of Sirius, how is he doing? I'm sorry to have had him drop in like that… but I'm very grateful he came here."

Molly smiled "He's upset of course, mostly kept to himself all day. You know how he can get, sort of restless and brooding. I couldn't convince him to eat much, but he is still in one piece. How is Harry?"

Remus sighed, thinking not for the first time how alike Sirius and Harry seemed to be, neither of them liked to let people help them deal with things. "He's alright considering. I left after they took him up to the psych ward." As he spoke Sirius came in and flopped down next to him. Molly got up without a word and poured another cup of tea, placing a tray of cookies between them as she did.

Remus continued, now more to Sirius than Molly. "They are going to keep him for at least three days, possibly more than a week. But we can visit him tomorrow. His doctor even made a point to tell me that they allow dogs to visit."

This made Sirius chuckle, but it didn't quite bring a smile to his face. "Is he going to be okay? I mean I really thought he was doing better… I know the trial was hard, but I never thought he was capable of this."

Remus nodded "I know, I do Sirius, and I'm not sure. We didn't really talk about what happened, it seemed to upset him too much. But I'm sure we will have several conversations over the next few days."

Sirius sighed, he wasn't looking forward to those conversations, and he could only imagine how Harry would feel about them. The three adults sat in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts of the sweet and caring green-eyed boy they held so dear. Eventually Sirius spoke up "We need to sit down with Ron and Hermione and explain what happened, I know it's my fault, but they are worried sick… I didn't want to tell them anything until you came back, and we had more information."

Remus nodded "I would have preferred to let Harry decide if he wanted to tell his friends, but obviously we can't just keep them in the dark." His thoughts flashed back to another situation not unlike this one. He remembered discussing similar things with James before he went to his parents about Sirius. Remus couldn't help but smile when he thought of how far his friend had come since then. Sure, he still had problems, eleven years after the war they were both worse for the wear, but Sirius really seemed to have a way with Harry, and all in all things could have been a lot worse.

Molly called the teens into the kitchen, Fred and George piling in too. Remus was going to protest, they didn't really need to be here. But he figured they would find out eventually anyway, and it was kind that they cared. Ginny was the last to slip into the room. Her mother started to shoo her out, but she stood her ground.

"No!" She wasn't quite yelling, but she certainly had everyone's attention. "Harry is my friend too! And I deserve to get to know what's happened. We all already know anyway, between Sirius getting here last night, and what is in the papers… I want to know the truth! How am I supposed to have Harry's back if I'm guessing off of what I read in the tabloids?"

Remus had expected her older brothers to be annoyed by her, to tell her she was too young, but all three of them offered up a chorus of agreement. Fred taking the lead "Yeah, we all know there are going to be awful rumors when we go back to school, I think Ginny deserves to know the truth as much as the rest of us. And She's better at hexing than Ron anyway, when it comes down to defending Harry."

Molly gave him a sharp look "We are not telling you what happened so that you can help Harry pick fights at school!" she chastised, but she didn't make Ginny leave.

With that settled, it seemed that Remus had the floor. He sighed, he was really too tired to do this, but he knew it needed to be done. "I'm very proud of you all," He started out by saying, sounding very much like a teacher "And how you've all stood by Harry, he has very good friends in you five, and I'm grateful for that… because he is going to need good friends." He paused, trying to decide where to start. He knew that Ron and Hermione were aware of the abuse that Harry had been through, and his struggles with self-harming. And he wasn't sure that the rest of them really needed the details of that. If they did, he would leave it up to Harry to decide.

"As I'm sure you all know by now, Harry came to live with Sirius and I two weeks into the summer… and when he did it became clear that his relatives had been horribly mistreating him. He was in pretty bad shape when he first came to us, and he will never go back to them…. He has been doing better recently. But a few days ago, he had to face them in trial, to make them pay for what they had done. He was very brave, and we won, but it was very hard for him. The night after the verdict came out… Harry tried to take his life." Remus paused, feeling relieved that he had finally said it. He hadn't actually had to tell anyone yet, and as tired as he was it felt good to get it off his chest. "He is okay, actually, the only reason he survived is because he woke Sirius up, asking for help… Which is a huge step for him. He is going to be in the hospital for a few days, but he will be okay. And he is allowed to receive letters. Sirius and I will be visiting him tomorrow and can bring them with us if any of you would like to write to him."

For a long moment the room was very silent. It was George who spoke first "So it's true then, what they are saying in the papers… about his uncle…" He cast a nervous glance at his mother "raping him?"

Remus glanced at Sirius, unsure what to say. Thankfully, Sirius seemed to be more comfortable talking about this kind of stuff with kids, Remus often wondered if it was because of his own childhood, but he hadn't dared to ask.

"Yes," Sirius said plainly "I think Harry would have preferred to keep the details of his abuse private, but that is true."

Fred's face turned an angry red, Ginny started to tear up, and George just looked sad. "That horrible, evil bastard…" Fred started muttering. A string of incomprehensible curses followed, and his mother shot him a look, but she didn't chastise him. They had all been thinking it.

Between the angry ramblings of her brothers, Ginny's voice broke through, much smaller than Remus was used to hearing it sound. "Is that why Harry cuts?"

The whole room went silent. Surprisingly enough, Ron was the first one to regain composure and speak. "Did Harry tell you about that?" He asked, sounding terribly betrayed.

Ginny shrugged "No, but it's not that hard to spot." She looked down at her lap, uncomfortable with all of the eyes on her. "When you know what to look for," she added more quietly.

Sirius and Molly exchanged a series of worried glances, before Molly barked for everyone to leave. She grabbed her daughter by the arm before she could bolt. "Not you Ginny." She said a bit gruffly.

Remus knew she was just worried; shocked, upset, maybe even feeling a bit guilty, he had been in her shoes. But he could see that Ginny was absolutely terrified. Clearly, she had not been planning on revealing herself in this way. The rest of the teens shuffled out quickly, having the good sense to know that their mother was not to be crossed right now. And Sirius and Remus stood. Remus started moving towards the door, but a panicked look from Molly made him pause.

Sirius stepped in and saved the day, sliding easily into a chair closer to Ginny and smiling at Remus "why don't you go find Arthur for us Rem?" He asked, excusing Remus from the conversation. "Molly, I think we could all use another cuppa, and maybe some more of those biscuits if you have any?"

Molly quickly set about putting the kettle back on, clearly thankful to have a job, and Remus slipped out to find Arthur, not entirely sure what he would tell the older man.

Sirius waited until everyone had settled in their tasks before turning to Ginny. He didn't know the young girl very well, he had seen her at order meetings of course, but other than that she was Harry's best mate's sister, he knew very little about her. He racked his brain for a moment before remembering Remus telling him stories about Harry's shenanigans at school (he still needed to tell that boy how proud he was of him, he would never get over having missed the looks on people's faces when he started speaking in parsel tongue). Ginny was a year below Harry, she was the girl that had had Voldemort's diary, the one who had almost died. Remus seemed to think she had quite the crush on Harry as well.

Sirius half smiled at her as Molly passed them each a fresh cup of tea. "There we go," he said brightly. "I've always found that difficult things are made easier to talk over when you have a steaming cup of tea in your hands." He glanced at Molly to see if she wanted to jump in, but she looked terribly out of her depth. For a moment Sirius appreciated the irony that he now seemed to be the expert on talking to troubled kids. James, I hope you're watching this, and making fun of me. I'll be very disappointed if you're up there all teary eyed with your wife about how mature I've become.

"Ginny," He said gently "What did you mean when you said that about Harry's cutting, about knowing what to look for?"

Ginny refused to look up at him, staring into her cup as if the dark lord himself might come out of it. "Nothing, I just… I meant it's not that hard to spot. I… I know people who do that… so I knew what to look for."

Molly looked like she wanted to be relieved, to leave it at that, but Sirius knew better. "Ginny, you're not in trouble right now. I know this is really scary, but we want to help you, okay?" When the young ginger stayed silent Sirius added "You know, when Harry first came to live with Remus and I, he wasn't talking at all. I think some things are just really, really hard to say. Especially the first time. Maybe it would be easier if you just nodded?"

She glanced up at him, terrified.

"Ginny, have you ever hurt yourself before? On purpose?" He asked quietly.

This time her head stayed down, her long red hair falling around her face and hiding her eyes. But slowly, she nodded.

Molly sucked in her breath, looking completely horrified. Sirius shot her a significant glance, how she responded right now was crucial. But after a moment to recover, she enveloped her daughter in a tight hug. "Oh honey, Oh Ginny… Your dad and I love you so much, we are going to help you get through this, okay?"

Sirius pressed his lips together, hiding a smile. Molly Weasley was, above all else, a truly wonderful mother. He wished that every hurting kid could have a woman like her in his life. He had been so thankful for Mrs. Potter (who's reaction had not been very different at all). Ginny looked a complicated mix of relieved and terrified, which he understood far too well. There was something about finally having people who would love you no matter what, and help you face your demons, that was amazingly powerful and simultaneously panic inducing.

Eventually Molly released her grip and sat back, wiping tears from her eyes. "Oh, but darling, why?" She asked.

Ginny shrugged, biting her lip and glancing at Sirius before responding. "I don't know… after everything in my first year… it just… nothing made sense anymore, and I didn't know what to do. I know it's stupid, but cutting helps." She glanced at Sirius again "I'm sorry I never told anyone about Harry, I knew it would mean giving myself away too. He caught me last Christmas, and I think he really wanted to tell you then Mum… but he knew I would tell on him too. I swear if I had known what they were doing to him, or that he was suicidal, I would have told you guys, no matter what. I had no idea his uncle was…" she didn't finish her sentence, it hardly seemed necessary.

Sirius nodded "I believe you Ginny, don't beat yourself up about it, no one knew what Harry was going through. But I want you to promise me that in the future if you know someone is hurting themselves you will tell an adult. I know it can feel like you are betraying them, and they might even think you did at first. But these kinds of problems are too big for kids to deal with by themselves."

Ginny nodded again, and a moment later Arthur and Remus entered the kitchen, Arthur looking very worried. "What is wrong with Ginny? Honey, are you okay?" He asked frantically.

Remus shot Sirius an apologetic look. Ginny shrugged her father's hug off. "I'm fine dad." she said hastily.

Sirius jumped in before the man could ask more questions. As well as Molly had handled the situation, he had a feeling Arthur would need a bit more calming down. And he was sure that both of them would have a lot of questions. "Ginny, why don't you and Remus go help the rest of the kids write Harry some letters?" Remus and Ginny immediately agreed, jumping on the chance to leave the room.

Once they were gone Sirius cast a silencing spell around the room as Molly turned to her husband and practically burst into tears.

"Ginny is okay" Sirius told him as the confused man while he comforted his wife. He waited for Molly to compose herself before continuing.

Arthur patted his wife's back as she cried "There, there dear, whatever it is I'm sure we can deal with it. Ginny is fine."

Molly looked up at him, wiping the tears from her eyes "No she's not dear… she's been… she's been… hurting herself… like Harry…"

Arthur's reaction was much calmer than Sirius had expected. Then again, Arthur Weasley was a very different kind of man than the ones Sirius had known growing up. Even James's father, who never would have hurt a child, had the famous Potter temper. He was a force to be reckoned with when he was upset. Sirius remembered very clearly when James had told him that his parents knew.

"I know you're going to be mad at me Sir, and I don't even blame you. But I had to tell them. I'd rather have you be mad at me for the rest of your life than dead."

Sirius looked up from the book he had been pretending to study, sitting on his bed in the Gryfendor boy's sixth year room. He had been doing his best to look calm when his friend came into the room, hoping that James hadn't seen him hastily pull down his sleeve as he entered.

"Tell who?" His voice sounded much more strained than he had wanted it to.

James sighed, sitting defeatedly on his own bed. "My parents… I've just come from home."

Sirius could feel the blood drain from his face, for a moment he thought he might vomit. "You didn't…. James, you promised… you …"

They had argued for a long time after that, an argument that Sirius wished he couldn't remember. But eventually he had dared to ask James how his parents had taken the news.

"They were upset, obviously. They care about you a whole lot, Padfoot. It was all I could do to keep them from storming the gates of Hogwarts to see you"

"Are they mad?"

James took a deep breath, knowing his friend would see through a lie in a moment. "Mum is just worried."

Sirius bit his lip "and your dad?"

James sighed "He told you to start calling him dad years ago Sir. Yeah, he's pretty upset… you know how he gets. He accidentally shattered Mum's favorite vase again. But he calmed down eventually. I don't think he's mad at you, I think if anything he was mad that Remus and I didn't come to them sooner."

Sirius could smile at the memory now, he thought briefly how much his godson was like his grandfather. Both very powerful wizards with poor magical control.

Now Arthur and Molly were both sitting across from Sirius, looking a bit overwhelmed.

Arthur spoke first "Thank you for being here Sirius, I don't know what we would've done if you weren't. From what Molly and Remus tell me, you're very good with teenagers."

Sirius laughed "Well it helps when you can outdo them in any bad thing they've ever done. I think I might actually have been the most difficult teenager to grace the walls of Hogwarts. But I'm glad I could help. Self-harming is a lot more common than most people in the wizarding community would like to believe. I know it's very frightening, but Ginny can recover from this."

Molly smiled now, casting a slightly too obvious glance at his covered arms. "Thank you, we appreciate your… expertise…"

He sighed, wondering if Remus had told them, or if they had simply guessed. "I cut for most of the time I was at Hogwarts, I was sure that I would never stop, that no one could make me. But when James finally told his parents…. It was still very hard, and it took a long time of them proving to me that they would love me no matter how many times I messed up, but they saved my life." He paused, as both of the older wizards gave him sympathetic looks. "Remus and I can give you the name of the therapist that Harry has been seeing, she is one of the best in the community, and she specializes in kids who've been through trauma. It sounds like Ginny's problems started after the incident in her first year?"

Molly nodded "We should have known better, paid better attention to how she was coping. I was worried at first of course, but she always insisted that she couldn't remember what had happened, and we thought it would be best to just move on."

Sirius nodded "It's possible she really doesn't remember it, some kids start cutting as a way to deal with things that they can't process. Please don't blame yourself, you know now. The important thing now to focus on is helping Ginny." They spent almost an hour discussing some of the more practical aspects of helping Ginny. Sirius stressed that self-harmers weren't usually suicidal, but obviously they weren't handling their problems very well so it was something to look out for. He also told them that they really needed to take Ginny to a doctor and make sure all of her cuts were healing properly. "Madam Pomferry would probably be willing to help if you aren't comfortable seeing another doctor." He also talked about setting guidelines with Ginny, and being prepared for the fact that she most likely would not be able to stop right away.

Eventually the three of them headed into the parlor and found Remus entertaining the group (particularly the twins) with stories of the mischief that he and Sirius had gotten into with James.

Arthur smiled at his children, waiting until Remus had finished to speak. "Hey kids, these letters look great! Why don't you all go wash up for dinner, mum has agreed to let us go to the pub down the road! Ginny dear, can we see you for a moment?"

Sirius and Remus took this as their chance to leave, saying a quick goodbye as they gathered up the letters. Sirius gave Ginny a quick hug "You're going to be okay kid, I promise. And you're always welcome at Grimmauld, okay?" He had warned the Weasley's that he was going to offer this to Ginny, not to undermine them, but because he knew that kids who struggled with these kinds of issues often needed somewhere to go when things got rough, and it was better to have an adult they could go to than to have them wandering out on the streets.

Harry looked at Dr. Taylor nervously, he wasn't sure what she wanted to talk about but he could only guess it was something he wouldn't like. "I'm sorry I got upset during group, and I know I lost control last night but it won't happen again I swear!" He knew that he was making promises he couldn't keep, but he didn't know what else to do.

Anya shook her head "Harry, I'm not mad at you, that's not even what I want to talk to you about. It's hard when you first come here, many patients don't have any way to deal with their emotions, and so they lose control, that is why we keep you on the unit, so that you can be somewhere where we can help to keep you safe when you lose control. As you learn better coping skills, that will get better."

She paused for a moment, ensuring that Harry believed her. "I wanted to talk to you about your eating... I know it has been a stressful couple of days, months probably. But we are concerned about your eating habits... While you've been here you've hardly eaten at all. And Remus told us that you haven't been eating much at home either. Can you help me understand why?"

Harry bit his lip, avoiding meeting her gaze. "I'm just not that hungry, Dr. Taylor..." He said pathetically.

She sighed "Harry, please call me Anya. And I don't think I believe that... Lots of people eat when they are not hungry, for all sorts of reasons. You are still very underweight, and you need to eat so that your body can heal properly."

Harry shrugged, unsure what she wanted him to say. "I'm not trying to starve myself or anything... I just don't feel like eating." When Dr. Taylor didn't say anything, Harry elaborated. "I have a hard time eating... When I... Get upset... I just can't eat, I feel like my throat is closing up, like the food is choking me. Breakfast is always the worst... I was never allowed to eat breakfast at home."

Anya sighed "thank you for telling me that Harry, I understand this is hard for you. How can we help so that eating is easier for you? Are there certain foods that are easier to eat maybe?"

Harry shrugged "it's all hard... I don't know what to tell you. I could probably force myself to eat lunch and dinner, but I can't eat breakfast, I just can't."

Anya nodded, "Harry, are you afraid of gaining weight?

Harry shook his head quickly, that wasn't it. "No, no I'm not, I swear… I'm not anorexic or anything. I just, it's just hard. I promise I'll try harder. I know I need to gain weight, I've always been underweight. Even when I've been at Hogwarts for months and eating regular meals."

Anya nodded "Do you eat breakfast when you are at Hogwarts?"

Harry shrugged "Just coffee… The only time I've ever really eaten breakfast consistently was earlier this summer, when I was living with Remus. Right when I first got there all my cuts were infected and I was pretty beat up, so they made me eat every meal. It was only for about two weeks though, and I almost threw up every morning. If I hadn't been worried about my arms falling off I don't think I could have done it."

Anya sighed, "Okay, well why don't we make a compromise? I understand that you don't want to eat breakfast, but we need to see you eating something at every meal. You are still very underweight, and while I understand that eating is hard for you, it's never going to get better if you don't try. So how about this? If you eat at least half of lunch and dinner, more if you can, then we can let you just have an ensure for breakfast. I know, you don't want to eat anything… but we can't let you do that. At least this way it will go down a bit easier. Does that sound doable?"

Harry made a face, he hated ensure. Sirius and Remus had made him drink them for those two weeks after his cuts got infected. But he had a feeling if he kept fighting they were just going to make a bigger deal about what he ate. "Would I still have to drink an ensure at dinner? They had one on my plate last night…"

Dr. Taylor thought for a moment, considering her options. "Well, that ensure was supposed to be a supplement, because we want you to gain weight, we want you to be eating more than a boy of your age would eat. But perhaps we could retime that one? Make it a snack so that you don't get too overwhelmed at dinner?"

Harry sighed, but nodded. He was going to have to pick his battles over the next few days, and he knew they were right, he needed to gain weight.

After a moment of writing notes, presumably about the agreement they had reached with the food, Dr. Taylor changed the subject. "The other thing I wanted to talk to you about was sleeping, the nurses told me you didn't sleep very well last night…"

Harry shrugged, "they knocked me out after I freaked out in group, so I think I actually slept more than normal."

Dr. Taylor frowned "Well what is it that normally keeps you up? When you aren't being sedated?"

Harry shrugged, not really wanting to get into it. "I have trouble falling asleep" He admitted "And I usually only sleep for a few hours before I wake up…. Then I usually don't want to go back to sleep."

She gave him a knowing look "Remus mentioned that you have nightmares?" Harry kind of shrugged, she already knew so there was no point in denying it. Seeing that he wasn't going to respond, Dr. Taylor continued. "Well, I want to try and help you to sleep better. Sleep is very important, and often people who have mental health problems notice they are worse when they haven't been sleeping well. I am going to prescribe you something to help you sleep, it's a sedative that has been known to help people who experience nightmares. I've also prescribed you a calming draught as needed, you can have it every two hours. If you wake up and are feeling upset because of a nightmare I want you to ask for it, okay?"

Harry nodded, he knew he would never ask, but there was no point in telling her that.