Chapter Fourteen: Progress

After he was done talking with Dr. Taylor Harry headed to his room. She had reminded him that Remus would be coming to visit this afternoon, and he wanted to read Sirius's letter and write a response before the next group. He had had to ask for paper and something to write with at the nurse's station, it had taken him almost ten minutes to get up the courage (Tom had been the one sitting there, which hadn't helped) but eventually he had gotten what he needed and hurried back to his room. He was terrified to read Sirius's letter, but he knew he had to get it over with.

'Pup,

Oh Harry, first and foremost I want to tell you how incredibly proud I am of you.'

That had not been what Harry had expected to read.

'I am so proud that you came to me that night. I know how hard it is to reach out when you've done something foolish, but I am so glad you did. Don't let your mind trick you into thinking this is a sign of weakness, or that you are a failure. You are so strong Harry, you saved your life. You did that, all by yourself. And I know it's because deep down you know that this is going to get better. And I promise you, it will. It's okay if it feels like it won't right now, I remember all too well being the scared, abused kid who was just waiting for everyone to let him down and prove they couldn't be trusted, but I assure you, it gets better.

'The next couple of days are going to be difficult, take it from someone who has seen the inside of Mungo's psych ward one too many times. But I encourage you to work your hardest while you are there. Make friends, even though it seems scary and pointless. These are people you may never see again, but they are also people who understand how you are feeling more than anyone else in the world. I met one of my best friends in the world in the very unit you are at right now. And years later, when she married my best friend, I was very thankful that she and I had given each other a chance all those years before.

Love you always, Padfoot.'

Harry just stared at the note for a moment, my mum was on a psych ward? He thought incredulously. He didn't actually say that, but I'm sure he couldn't mean anyone else… Harry smiled, oddly comforted at the thought of a young Sirius sitting on this same unit, meeting his mum… Noticing that he only had ten minutes before the next group, he quickly grabbed the parchment and the felt tipped marker that Tom had given him (apparently actual quills were contraband here) and started writing.

The next group was art therapy, which Harry actually found to be kind of fun. It was a bit less structured than the other groups had been, and everyone was focusing on their own projects, so he didn't have as many eyes on him when he was asked to talk.

As soon as art therapy was over it was time for lunch. Harry sat next to Draco nervously, he knew that they would be paying close attention to how much he ate, and he really did want to make them happy, but it didn't do much to calm his nerves. Just before he started eating Jennifer appeared at his side, offering him a small vial that he immediately recognized as a calming drought.

"I thought this might help" She said kindly.

He wanted to refuse it, but he knew she was right. After the drought started to take effect, lunch went pretty well. He managed to eat about 3/4ths of the meal. And as soon as lunch was over visiting hours started.

The only thing that could describe Harry's reaction when Remus walked into the common room with a familiar shaggy black dog at his side was shock. "What are you doing?" He asked happily as he dropped to his knees and enveloped Sirius in a hug.

Remus grinned "Dr. Taylor made a point to let me know yesterday that they allow parents to bring in pets."

At the word 'pet' Padfoot shot Remus the most annoyed look that Harry had ever seen on a dog. And he couldn't help but laugh as he realized that his godfather was sporting a leash and color. Still kneeling next to him, Harry hugged him again and whispered "Thank you for the letter."

He sat and visited with Remus and Sirius for about twenty minutes. He had tried to ask Remus about what Sirius had said about his mom in the letter, but Remus didn't seem to know what he was talking about, and when Sirius put a paw on Harry's lap and gave him a meaningful look, Harry realized that Sirius had never told Remus about it.

For the most part they chatted about meaningless things, the weather and local quidditch teams. Remus and Harry had all too much fun making jokes about their 'pet' dog, and all of the trouble he got into. Many of the patients were eager to pet Sirius, crowding around him eagerly. Remus saw immediately that this made Sirius uncomfortable, and shooed the kids away as nicely as he could. Although Sirius frequently appreciated attention and physical contact from Harry while in dog form, he wasn't terribly fond of it from others, especially strangers.

Soon Remus started glancing at the clock, they had to leave to go to a meeting with Harry's doctors soon. "Harry, I'm afraid we have to go soon, they are having a care team meeting at one that we have to be at. You look good though, are you eating enough?"

Harry blushed, still uncomfortable with the parental attention he got from Remus, but he nodded anyway. "Yeah, well I'm trying to."

Sirius jumped up, putting his front paws on Harry's lap, and pressed their foreheads together for a moment, then they both backed away. Promising to come say goodbye before they left the unit.

Harry took the pack of letters they had given him and headed to his room, feeling better than he had in ages. Maybe things will work out.

TW: Disordered eating description

As he walked into his room he nearly dropped the pack of letters. Draco was kneeling on the far side of his bed, retching into what looked like a plastic bag. Wrappers scattered the floor. Harry just stood there for a moment, not understanding what was happening. Where did he get all this food? Why isn't he in the bathroom? He stood, fixed by the door, unsure what to do. Harry had never seen someone purge before, but he had gotten the sense from Draco that it was similar to cutting, something very private. Suddenly, he realized that Draco hadn't stopped when he came into the room, like Harry would have if someone found him cutting. And he hurried forward.

"Hey, stop… Draco, stop!" He said firmly as he climbed over the bed, putting a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

This seemed to make Draco snap out of it, he ripped away from Harry's touch violently. "Leave me alone!" He shouted, but his voice was hoarse and raw, so it came out hardly a whisper.

Harry sighed "Draco… Come on, you know you can't do this…" He glanced nervously at the door, wondering if he should just go get a nurse.

Draco scowled, slumping against the wall now, but still holding onto the small bag of vomit, which Harry found really gross. "I know… I know… please don't tell anyone Harry, it was stupid, it won't happen again… I've been doing so well…"

Harry just looked at him, unsure what to even say. This was his childhood nemesis, the bully who had made his life miserable for the three years he had been at Hogwarts. "Why..." he finally asked, feeling that Draco might feel better if they talked about it. He didn't really hate him, and he was starting to see that maybe Draco had only been mean to him because he was hurting.

Draco shrugged "I don't know… why do you slash your arms? I think part of being crazy is doing things that don't make sense."

Harry had moved from the bed now, sitting on the floor next to Draco, leaning against the wall so they didn't have to look at each other. "Draco, you are not crazy, I don't believe that for a minute."

"My father does…" Draco shot back, revealing more than he had wanted to. "I've been here for almost three weeks now… and he hasn't visited once. He never does, and he won't even let my mother write. They show up for the meetings and won't even look at me. And he knows how to say all the right things, everyone here knows that he hates me, but they can't do anything about it."

Harry sighed, parents suck he thought to himself. "So that's why you…"

Draco nodded slowly, finally dropping the bag of vomit onto the floor. "yeah, that's why… It started when I was nine… I had gotten a poor mark in school, before Hogwarts of course, I went to a private grammar school for wealthy magical children. But we all still lived at home. And I had gotten a low mark, it was on a maths test… I was normally good at math but I hadn't been sleeping well, and I knew when I came home that my father would be furious. My mum made me tell him when he got home, right before dinner. As punishment I wasn't allowed to have my dinner, but I had to sit there, with the full plate in front of me, and listen to him tell me off. That night after they went to bed I snuck down stairs and gorged myself on anything I could find in the kitchen. Once I was done I panicked, they were going to know, because food would be missing. I don't know why I thought throwing it all up would fix anything, but it did. Suddenly I felt empty, and nothing mattered. They didn't notice of course, because neither of them do the cooking. The housekeeper must have noticed, but I think she felt bad for me so she didn't say anything."

Draco paused, biting his lip and daring to glance at Harry before continuing. "I didn't get caught until uncle Sev found me, the summer before first year… I'm sorry I was so awful to you Harry… I don't know why I did it, but I wasn't in a very good place then. Anyway, I've had problems off and on since then, it gets bad whenever I go home, and every so often my electrolytes get off enough that I get really sick and Severus makes them bring me to the hospital, then I spend a few weeks here and go home. They want me to go to a residential treatment place, but my father won't hear of it. He thinks I just do it for attention, and that would be giving me what I want."

End TW: Draco is bulimic because his parents suck

Harry sighed, realizing that he and Draco weren't so different after all. At least what Uncle Vernon had done was bad enough for him to get taken away. "I didn't start cutting until I came to Hogwarts." It was a random thing to say, but he figured that Draco had just shared so much, he should do the same… show him that it was okay or whatever. "It seems so strange, I really thought I was okay until I came into the magical world. I think it was a horrible mix of suddenly being the center of attention, when I had spent my entire life trying to be invisible, and realizing how different my life could have been. I didn't cut before coming to Hogwarts, but I did try to kill myself… When I was about nine… Well I was going to anyway, but Vernon found the pills before I could. I had stolen them from the medicine cabinet, so of course he was furious. He told me that I didn't get to decide when I was going to die, that was his job. He beat me within an inch of my life anyway, and for a brief moment I thought he would kill me then. I was out of school for three days, and people started to notice, so he made me go… even though I could barely walk. That was the closest I ever came to telling someone, I was sure he would kill me one day. But I didn't think anyone would believe me."

Draco shook his head "That's messed up… I'm sorry Harry."

Harry shrugged "Don't be, he wasn't." Then after a moment added "Maybe one day we can lock the two of them in a room… See what happens."

Draco laughed, '' I've never met your uncle, but I imagine that would be pretty entertaining…." He gave Harry another glance. "You're going to tell on me aren't you?" he sighed.

Harry shook his head "No, you are." When Draco gave him a look of complete panic he sighed "I'll go with you if you want, but you have to tell them. They are going to find out anyway. And that's why we're here right, 'to learn how to ask for help'"

Both boys laughed at that, and the Harry helped Draco up, he seemed a bit dizzy, but he got his footing quickly. They walked to the nurse's station together and Draco nervously asked to talk to Jennifer. Harry smiled encouragingly as they headed into one of the exam rooms.

Sirius transformed nervously after the conference room door shut. Remus had assured him that this was safe, but it was hard to shake the feeling it might be a trap when you had been on the lamb for so long. They spent about thirty minutes talking with Harry's doctors, and listening to them talk to each other about their plan for him. Dr. Taylor wanted Harry to stay on the unit for a week, she said that he was making progress, but she wanted to monitor him for a bit longer, hopefully work on his sleeping and eating a bit more before discharging him. Once the meeting was over people started to file out, and Sirius transformed back into his dog form, but Dr. Taylor asked him and Remus to stay for a moment.

When he had yet again transformed, she explained that she had been thinking about his situation. "Did you know that there are new protocols in place for retrials? When you were put into Azkaban you weren't even given a trial… I would be willing to vouch for you, if you would like to clear your name."

Sirius just stared at her, but Remus seemed a bit more composed. "What are you talking about? We have no proof that he didn't do it… It's too big a risk…"

Dr. Taylor shook her head "In a fair trial, Sirius could agree to take vertisem, they aren't allowed to force it except in certain cases, but you can still volunteer. It would be done in a controlled environment, and they don't show the whole thing at the trial, just the parts that are pertinent to the case. If you are innocent, which I believe you are, it would be virtually risk free. You could be a free man Sirius. I think Harry really deserves the best life we can give him, and I think getting your name cleared, so that the three of you aren't living in the shadows all the time, would be a huge step in doing that."

Sirius chewed his lip, unsure what to say. It made sense, of course… but he didn't particularly trust the ministry. "It would be risk free. You're sure? Not just in theory, but with me… When I broke out they were ready to set dementors on me without so much as a question."

Anya nodded "I know, and when that happened I thought about it a lot, I didn't know you of course, but it seemed wrong. Recently they have been rewriting a lot of the laws that allowed for things to happen the way that they did right after the war. With your permission I would like to reach out to Dumbledore, to have him vouch for you as well. But it really is risk free. I personally guarantee if they try to do anything other than by the book I will storm the ministry myself."

Sirius smiled, I could be free… really free. "I'll do it," he said rashly "But promise me you won't tell Harry, not until it's over. I don't want him to worry."

Dr. Taylor worked quickly, and they had an appointment at the ministry the very next morning. Sirius was a mess, almost backing out at least six times before Remus could get him through the door. Remus was nervous too, but Dumbledore had assured them that it was as safe as Dr. Taylor had told them. Remus had been tempted to question why Dumbledore hadn't said anything about it to them, but he didn't let that ruin it for him. His friend was going to be free, and that was all that mattered.

They wouldn't let Remus go in with him, but Dr. Taylor was there (the ministry was required to have a doctor present, and she had volunteered). And once they had finished Remus was allowed to sit with Sirius while they waited for the serum to wear off. Dumbledore had warned them that the tapes would be reviewed by the auror department before they decided to go to trial. But within an hour of the interview Tonks came bursting into the room to announce the good news, he had been cleared.

Sirius, still under the influence of the serum, shot up "Yipppeee!" He cried as he lifted the young auror into the air. "Oh… Sorry, that was inappropriate… I could kiss you Tonks! But I should let Remus do that!" He sent a none-too subtle wink towards his friend. They helped him to sit back down as he mumbled "Mooney and Tonks sitting in a tree, she likes him but he's too dense to see."

Remus blushed "I think the serum has made him a bit crazy…" He said awkwardly.

Tonks blushed too.

"NO!" Sirius said emphatically "It hasn't made me crazy, it's made me sane! Everyone should take this stuff… it would be so much easier if we could all just be honest. We want to, but sometimes you need help. Like you Mooney! You want to tell Tonks how you feel, but your stupid adult brain is getting in the way. But obviously you like each other. AND ITS STUPID NOT TO BE TOGETHER!" He was trying to get up again now, shouting excitedly "You love each other! And life is too short to ignore love!"

Just then Dr. Taylor came in and saved them both by giving him a sedative. "I think we'll let him sleep that off before he incriminates anyone." she said with a laugh.

Harry couldn't believe how quickly the week had gone by, and how much had changed. He had nearly fainted when Sirius had walked onto the unit, in human form. But everything was finally looking up. Sirius was free, and now he and Remus were both his legal guardians. They had even talked about renting a house somewhere, getting away from Grimuald, now that Sirius didn't need to hide there. He had his last care team meeting; the one Harry had been asked to attend. And they had a good plan in place to help him stay safe when he went home, which was going to be tomorrow.

Draco had gone home the day before, and while he and Harry had promised not to reveal their friendship when at Hogwarts, Harry was very glad they had gotten to know each other.

His room had been empty since Draco had left, but now the nurse, Karen, was leading in a new boy. A very rough looking teen who Harry guessed was a year or so older than him. Karen introduced him as 'Stevie'.

"And this is your roommate, Harry. He will be leaving tomorrow, but I'm sure he can show you around and help you get adjusted tonight." Karen said brightly.

'Stevie' gave Harry a disgusted look of recognition that sent shivers down his spine. "You're the boy that's been in the prophet all week! Harry Potter, the one who's uncle was … abusing him…" He turned to Karen angrily "I'm not staying in this room, you can't make me room with some fag, it's not right!"

Karen and Harry were both shocked, but Harry recovered before Karen did. Rushing at the boy, despite the fact that he was almost a head taller than Harry, and punching him repeatedly. "How dare you? You have no idea who I am!" His screams turned wordless as they blended in with Karen's shouts, and a crowd gathered to watch.

Before Harry knew it, he was being dragged away from Stevie (who had landed a few good punches himself) and marched out of his room. Harry was sure they were going to stick him in seclusion, they probably should have. But Tom (Who had him firmly by the arm) guided him into one of the exam rooms instead.

As Harry fell angrily into one of the chairs Tom said, "Wait here and don't do anything stupid." then left, closing the door behind him.

Harry did as he was told, listening to the commotion outside as it settled down. He knew he had really messed up, they probably weren't going to let him leave tomorrow now… But Harry was more worried about what the other boy had said 'You're the boy they've been talking about in the prophet all week' It made him feel sick to his stomach. Everyone knows… they all know what that bastard did to me… Oh gosh, I can never show my face in public… I'll never be able to go back to Hogwarts… Oh gosh… He was about half way through a panic attack when Tom returned, offering him an ice pack for his rapidly swelling eye, and waiting patiently until Harry had calmed down a bit.

That was really stupid Harry." Tom said quietly, once he could see Harry was breathing normally again.

Harry sighed "I know… but what was I supposed to do… He called me a…" he couldn't bring himself to say the word.

Tom sighed too "Not hit him, you were supposed to not hit him Harry. What have we been teaching you all week, how to ask for help, to let the adults help you. We would have dealt with Stevie, you didn't have to hit him."

Harry bit his lip, thankful that he had the ice pack on his eye, it gave him a good excuse to not look at Tom. "They all know…" He barely whispered "he said it's been in the prophet all week… the entire wizarding world knows what my uncle did."

Tom took a deep breath, giving Harry a very sad look "I know kid, and I'm so sorry… it's not fair, you've been through so much, you deserved to have your privacy respected… and it wasn't. But you can't just beat up everyone who reads the daily prophet this week."

Harry nodded "I know… I'm not sorry I hit him though, that guy is a prick."

This made Tom laugh "Look, we are going to move him to a different room, and we've told him to stay away from you, I want you to do the same. He isn't worth it Harry, you're going home tomorrow… don't let some prick ruin that."

Harry smiled "I'm still going home?"

Tom smiled back "I would think so, obviously we do not condone fighting, but I think we can appreciate the extenuating circumstances here. We'll tell your guardians about it, and they can deal with it how they see fit."

Now Harry was really grinning, he could imagine how they would respond. Sirius would be proud of him, might even offer to help him next time. And Remus would try to be serious, to tell him firmly that fighting was not the answer. But neither of them would really be mad.