Chapter Twenty One: Reality

Harry woke up in the hospital wing, or at least that's where he thought that he was. I need to stop passing out so easily, he thought wistfully as he surveyed his surroundings. He was lying in a pristine bed piled high with white linen. He was in a small room, but a room. Probably not Hogwarts then, he was very familiar with the hospital wing, and wasn't aware of any private rooms there.

Snape sat in a chair to his right, looking tired and worried. As soon as he noticed that Harry was awake he stood, a mask coming over his face, although it did not hide all the fear. "How are you feeling?" He asked quietly and he moved to stand beside Harry's bed.

Harry stared at him for a moment. I had something I needed to tell him… He thought tiredly. "Um, I feel okay…" He hesitated, Oh right! "Draco, did he tell you -"

"Yes, Draco told me what's been going on, that you've been skipping out on therapy, and having nightmares. Harry, you should have reached out for help! We are here for you but you have to stop working against us."

Harry shook his head, his conversation with Draco coming back to him fully now. "No Sir, did Draco tell you about his -"

"Don't worry about Draco right now Harry, I'm sure you're upset at him for coming to me, but this was for your own good."

Harry clenched his fists "Please Sir, listen to me!" He practically shouted. Snape stepped back, looking angry, but calmed himself and nodded. Harry nodded back "Thank you" He took a deep breath, trying to think of the words to explain. "Draco and I, we've been keeping an eye on each other. We check in after the lab each week, talk about how things are going. We promised each other that if things got bad, we would tell the other." He was rambling a bit now. "Sir, Draco went home this past weekend… For some important party…"

Snape looked more alert now, clearly worried "I am aware of that."

Harry nodded "Well, we didn't burst into your office today because he was going to tattle on me. I just conveniently passed out and gave him the opportunity. Things didn't go well over the weekend… Sir, his father… Mr. Malfoy… He'd never done it before Sir, and Draco begged me not to tell because he doesn't think that he will do it again, but he's really hurt… and I'm worried next time his father might do permanent damage, or even kill him!"

Snape stood frozen for a moment, processing what Harry had said. "This is very serious Harry," He said quietly "I need you to tell me the exact truth, okay?"

Harry nodded eagerly, regretting it when his head started to pound. "I am sir."

"Draco's father beat him this weekend?" Snape didn't sound surprised, he sounded angry.

"Yes."

Snape nodded "and you said that he hasn't done this before, this was the first time?"

Harry nodded "I think so sir, Draco had told me before today about a lot of the things his parents have done. They're horrible people, but he never said that they hit him."

"And You said that Draco is hurt?" Snape asked as he gathered his things from the chair.

Again Harry nodded, more gently this time. "Yes sir, I didn't get a chance to see how bad, but I could tell that it hurts him to walk, and he seemed to be in a lot of pain."

Snape nodded again, turning back to Harry from the door of his hospital room. "Thank you for telling me the truth Harry. Maybe you can start to make a habit of it." He started out of the room, then stopped again. "The hospital has contacted Lupin and the mutt… I'm sure they will be here soon." His face became softer for a moment, "try to be honest with them Harry, they are trying to help you." And with that he was gone.

He didn't find himself alone for long. Harry wasn't sure if Snape had alerted the nursing staff that he was awake, or if a magical sensor had, but within moments a young witch was coming in and introducing herself.

"Hello there Harry, I'm glad to see you're awake!" She said brightly as she took his vitals "My name is Melody, I'm your nurse." She studied her instruments for a few moments, then seeming satisfied, turned to him. "How are you feeling?"

Harry shrugged, "No worse than normal." It wasn't a lie, recently Harry had been feeling awful. He was always tired these days, and his morning runs were often interrupted by the need to rest and catch his breath, and some slightly concerning chest pain.

Melody cocked her head to one side "And what's normal?" She asked, seeming to sense his implication.

Harry shrugged "I feel tired, and my head hurts. I'm fine."

Melody nodded, clearly not believing him. "How bad is the head ache?"

Harry shrugged.

"Have you been experiencing any shortness of breath? Dizziness? Chest pain?"

Again Harry shrugged, but she fixed him with a scowl. He sighed, studying the light pattern on his blanket. "Maybe a little."

"A little of what?" She pressed.

He shrugged "All of it… the chest pain only happens when I am moving a lot… but it's gotten worse the past day or two."

Melody nodded, jotting things down on his chart. She asked him what seemed like a million more questions, before finishing with this; "Harry, we've noted that you are very, very underweight. Your professor said something about you not eating much recently. Can you tell me why that is?"

Harry shrugged, still not looking at her "I've always had a small appetite, but I eat enough." He knew she saw through his lie, but for some reason she didn't call him out on it. Which he was thankful for, since as she started to leave, Remus and Sirius hurried in.

"Harry, thank god you're okay!" Sirius cried dramatically as he rushed into the room. Remus followed a bit more composed, but still looking worried.

"Is he okay, miss?" He asked the nurse.

She nodded "It appears his electrolytes are very out of balance. The doctors will be in to talk to you soon to explain more, but he is stable now."

Remus nodded and thanked her, as soon as she was gone Sirius turned to him. "What on earth has been going on Harry? What happened? You've been doing so well, then all the sudden we're getting an owl from the hospital saying that you have been admitted and are unconscious?" He came to Harry's side now, and gave him a tight hug "You didn't try to… umm.. you know… again?"

Harry shook his head quickly "No, goodness no! I've just been…." He thought about Snape's advice. "I've been having a tough time… and I guess I didn't drink enough water today, and I didn't sleep well… and I passed out in Snape's office. It was stupid really." That was sort of the truth.

Remus sighed, sinking down into one of the chairs. "How long have you been having a rough time Harry?" He asked seriously. "You look really thin… You looked fine when we saw you two weeks ago!"

Harry shrugged "I don't know… it just kind of snuck up on me."

Sirius looked like he was going to follow up with another question, but a gentleman walked through the door, so he quieted.

"Hi there," He said, extending his hand to Remus and Sirius. "I am Dr. Patel, I am overseeing Harry's case. How are you feeling Harry?"

Harry shrugged and muttered "Fine."

TW: Eating disorder & drug mentions

The doctor didn't seem to put off by that, it was clear that he was talking mostly to Remus and Sirius anyway. "Harry was brought in unconscious by one of his teachers, who reported that Harry had rushed into the office with another student, and promptly collapsed. Apparently the other student was able to advise Professor Snape that Harry has been struggling for some time, hasn't been sleeping well or eating much, and has been compulsively exercising each morning."

Harry was about to protest, he wouldn't say it was compulsive, it just helped him to clear his mind. But the doctor continued on, not giving him a chance.

"He is significantly underweight for his age, and according to our records has lost XXX since his last admission this summer."

"XXX?" Sirius said in shock "Harry we saw you Two weeks ago and you looked fine!"

Harry felt his cheeks burning, he wished the doctor would have talked to them outside his room. Sirius and Remus stood staring at him, clearly expecting an answer. "Um… well I didn't want you to worry… So I wore a glamor…"

His guardians were still reeling at this, but the doctor clearly wasn't done. "His electrolytes are very out of balance, and his caffeine levels were very high, to the point of toxicity. We are working to correct that at this time. Once he is a bit more stable, probably tomorrow, we will send him for some test to determine what damage he has done to his heart, and the rest of his body, and if it is reversible."

Everyone snapped their heads up at that. "Is it likely that he has irreversible damage, doctor?" Sirius asked.

Dr. Patel sighed "We won't know until we complete the tests. I can see from our records that Harry's eating was a concern during his last admission, but it seems to have escalated quite a bit since then. I imagine that happened around the time school started?" He guessed "In that time frame it is less likely to see permanent damage, but it is a possibility, especially with such a rapid decline."

Remus nodded, obviously trying to absorb all of this new information. "And you said something about caffeine toxicity? Does that mean he's been drinking too much coffee?"

Dr. Patel sighed, "it's unlikely, at these levels. Has Harry ever been prescribed a drug called theophylline?"

Remus and Sirius shook their heads, and Harry wished he was still unconscious.

Now Dr. Patel turned to him. "Then the most likely explanation is that you were taking a caffeine supplement of some sort, based on your lab work, I would say it's safe to guess that you have been abusing it."

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Sirius cut him off.

"PILLS HARRY? YOU'VE BEEN TAKING BLOODY PILLS?

Remus put his hand on his friend's arm. "Sirius let's try to remain calm, right now we need to determine what we are dealing with." He paused and glanced meaningfully at him. "There will be time to get upset about it later."

Sirius stool frozen for a moment, but finally swallowed and nodded. "You're right… um, I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled."

Now Remus turned to Harry, an air of forced calm around him. "Harry, can you tell us what you've been taking? We just need to make sure the doctor knows everything so that they can help you."

Harry sighed, and buried his head in his hands. "I don't know," he mumbled, "some caffeine pill… I didn't really ask what was in it…"

Dr. Patel didn't seem shocked. "How long have you been taking them Harry, and how often?"

Harry shrugged "since the first few weeks of school…. And I don't know… maybe five times a day… probably more recently…." He chanced a look at his guardians. "It's not as though I was taking heroin or something…" he said sheepishly.

Sirius's face was stoney, he didn't meet his Godson's eyes. "We will discuss it later, Harry."

There was a long silence as they all took that in, finally Remus asked the question they were all thinking. "Where do we go from here?"

Dr. Patel smiled sympathetically, "For now let's focus on getting Harry stable, and assessing the damage. At some point we will want to do a psych eval, and I would not be surprised if they recommend an inpatient treatment program for Harry."

That got Harry's attention, "What? Why? I don't need…"

Dr. Patel gave him a sad look "you're very sick Harry, it's often hard to see it when it's yourself, but eating disorders can be very difficult to fight. Inpatient treatment may be your best hope."

There was a long silence, Harry wanted to argue with so much of what the doctor had said, but he could see from the serious faces of his guardians that they had taken sides.

The doctor readied to leave, and Remus spoke up as he did. "Um, Harry has a therapist, Lucy Graves… would it be possible to have her do the consultation? Or at least have her be a part of the decision?" The doctor nodded, took Lucy's information from Remus, and left. And then they were alone again.

End TW

Everyone was silent for a few minutes, Harry stared at his blanket, wishing he were still unconscious. Finally Sirius spoke up, "Speaking of Lucy… why didn't she tell us something was wrong? Surely you haven't been wearing a glamour all the time?"

Harry bit his lip, another question I was hoping to avoid. "Um…" He said awkwardly, might as well get it over with. "I haven't been going to therapy…"

Over the next two hours, Harry begrudgingly explained to his guardians how he had rerouted owls, and lied to them and pretty much everyone, to avoid being caught. "I just didn't want everyone to fuss over me anymore…" He finished quietly.

Sirius sighed, staring off into the distance for a moment. "I know it's hard Harry, and Lord knows you are not used to being fussed over… or having parents to even lie to… but things are going to change… okay?"

Harry didn't respond, but they fell into a more comfortable silence. Harry actually felt a bit better having come clean, as long as he tried not to think about what the consequences might be. Just as Sirius and Remus were getting ready to go home for the night, Severus appeared.

"Severus, thank you so much for helping Harry." Remus said genuinely.

Snape nodded, "Of course, I would have done it for anyone." He turned to Harry, giving him a long, guarded look, before speaking. "The matter that you alerted me to earlier, has been taken care of. Thank you again for telling me."

Harry nodded, understanding Snape's vague message. "Thanks for letting me know," He said quietly.

And soon, Harry found himself all alone. He was worried that it was going to be a long night, but Melody came back in to check on him around nine and offered him some dreamless sleep. He had a feeling that she was just trying to keep him out of trouble overnight, but he didn't care. It had been a long time since he had slept well.