Chapter Thirty One: Talks and Toads

The car ride home was quiet, Harry stared out the window at the passing city streets. He was surprised to realize that he had missed riding in the car, it wasn't something he had enjoyed with the Dursley's, as the car generally meant being unable to escape his relatives and their disapproval or berating. But now as he sat and watched the world go by, he realized that muggle transportation offered something that the wizarding alternatives did not, time, and peace.

Harry let his eyes wander from the passing streets, mostly empty due to the bitter cold and rain that seemed to plague London in december. He could see festive decorations on the shop windows, and the apartment windows above, but it was far too early in the day for any of the lights to be on, showing off the decorations.

Remus was driving, gripping the steering wheel tightly, and glancing nervously at Sirius every so often. Neither of them spoke, but Harry could tell that something was causing tension. Probably whatever they talked to Lou about… I'm sure we'll have a big sit down talk once we get home. He rolled his eyes and turned back to watching the street, the rain was starting to turn to snow.

Sirius turned back towards him and flashed a smile "How would you feel about dressing the tree this afternoon?" He asked mischievously.

Harry frowned and shook his head, "We don't even have a tree…" He protested.

Sirius shrugged "Okay, so we go get one this afternoon, and then we can dress it tonight!"

Harry just shrugged and turned back to watching the snow, he was too tired and annoyed to get into the Christmas spirit. Instead his mind wandered to his relatives, and the Christmases that he had spent with them. His thoughts stayed dark as Remus pulled the car to a stop in front of number 12 Grimmauld and they climbed out. It was only 11 o'clock in the morning, but Harry was exhausted and so he had planned to head straight to his room and lay down. His heart sank when he heard Remus calling to him that his snack would be ready in a moment. Who eats a mid morning snack anyway? This is stupid, he thought to himself as he trudged down to the kitchen and dropped angrily into a seat at the table. "Do you want to tell me whatever it is you talked to Lou about? Or do we have to pretend that nothing is going on until I'm done eating like a preschooler?" He practically spat.

Remus sighed as he watched the apple he had magically cut with his wand settle onto the plate next to the peanut butter he had spooned out. He picked up the plate and walked calmly over to the table, sitting across from the angry teen as he placed the plate in front of him.

Harry glared at the plate "It's almost lunch time anyway, why should I have to eat now?" He gave a half smirk "I'll spoil my appetite…"

Sirius chuckled as he walked into the room and headed for the coffee maker, waving his wand to wordlessly make a fresh pot. "Harry, we have discussed this, we are following the meal plan that was agreed upon by your team. Since your morning snack had to be late due to therapy, we will have lunch at 1. That should give you plenty of time to digest."

Harry shot an angry and envious glance at his godfather as he watched him pour himself a cup of coffee. Man what I would give for some caffeine, he thought miserably. Then he thought about what Lou would say if she could see him right now. She'd probably say I'm lashing out to delay eating. That I'm picking a fight to avoid feeling anxious or some crap like that. He rolled his eyes and picked up an apple slice "Fine," he muttered as he started to eat "But you need to tell me whatever it is you're planning to talk to me about. The tension is driving me crazy."

Sirius chuckled as he sat down nursing his cup of coffee. "We were going to wait until you were done eating, but if you want to talk now we can…" He glanced at Remus before continuing. "Severus stopped by last night, he told us about your professor… some Umbridge toad?"

Harry felt his cheeks flush, I forgot Snape said he was going to talk to them about that. "Oh right…" He mumbled.

Sirius let out a snort and Remus sighed, "Oh right? Harry, why didn't you tell us!"

Because you'd react like this… because you'd think I was cutting again… because then I would have gotten caught… "I don't know, it wasn't a big deal."

Sirius scoffed again, and stood, pacing "Not a big deal? Harry, do you know what blood quills are used for, why they exist?"

Harry bit his lip and shook his head, suddenly feeling like he would throw up if he tried to eat one more bite, and he still had half a plate of apples left, let alone the peanut butter which he had completely ignored.

Sirius continued to pace, oblivious of the stress he was causing. "Blood quills are dark artifacts that were used by evil wizards and witches to sign contracts in their own blood. The writer is magically and physically bound to what they wrote. If the signer dares to break the contract their magic will turn against them, their blood will thin to the point that the bleed out, and while these days there are some measures which can control the onset of symptoms, to this day there has not been a case of a broken contract from a blood quill where the signer did not die a premature death."

Harry cleared his throat and stared at his hands, "Erm… no, I didn't know that," He admitted.

Sirius nodded, standing in front of his charge now. "No, you didn't, Harry, but I did. I know you like to deal with things on your own, and Merlin knows I can relate. But you had to have known that this was dark magic, right?" Harry nodded, and he continued "So why on earth wouldn't you come to me? You're a capable kid, more capable than a lot of your peers at handling problems without adults, but you don't know the first thing about dark magic, and you were obviously in over your head! You don't have to deal with everything on your own anymore!"

Harry had chewed his lip raw, he tasted blood before he responded. "It's not like I'm the only one… Draco was in detention with her before I was, and more often too! He probably even know what the stupid quill was, and he didn't tell a soul. I didn't know that it could kill someone Sir, or I would have told you guys, or someone… I wasn't trying to put anyone in danger."

Remus sighed, interrupting Sirius before he could respond. "We aren't mad Harry, we just wanted to let you know that we knew, and we've told Lucy. If you want to talk to us about it you can. And while I appreciate your desire to protect your fellow students, Sirius and I are more concerned about your own well being. Severus told us that you weren't having any side effects from using the quill?"

Harry shook his head "I'm fine guys, really. I just hope that toad gets what's coming to her."

Sirius nodded seriously, "She will, but you should also know that the story broke in the prophet this morning. The story was about her, but they mentioned that two students had been hospitalized. They assumed it was related to the blood quill, and named you as one of the students."

Harry rolled his eyes "I guess that's better the truth…" He said with a smirk.

Sirius finally relaxed, and laughed even. "That's one way to look at it," He shook his head "Just promise me kid, the next time someone tries to use dark magic on you, you tell us."

Harry nodded solemnly "I promise."

Sirius relaxed again, visibly. "Well, now that that is settled," He said with a smile, "We do have something else to discuss with you too." He glanced at Harry's still half full plate. "But I think you need to eat the rest of your snack first."

"Oh come on," Harry complained. "How am I supposed to eat with another conversation like that one hanging over my head?"

Sirius chuckled and shook his head "It's not a bad thing I promise, but we are not discussing it until that plate is clean."

Harry glared back at his godfather, this isn't fair, they can't just manipulate me all the time. He shoved the plate away from him and crossed his arms "Fine, maybe I don't care then" He muttered stubbornly.

Remus stepped in at this point, shooting Sirius a warning look. "Let's all calm down. Harry, you need to finish your snack, or you can drink a shake, but you have to pick one. We are waiting until you're done because obviously these discussions are distracting you from eating, and that is our priority right now."

Harry ran a hand through his hair, subconsciously rubbing his scar. "This isn't fair" He complained, "I'm full, why do I need to finish a stupid snack?"

Remus sighed, reaching out to take Harry's hand before thinking better of it. "Harry, food is just fuel for our bodies, everyone needs it."

The younger wizard closed his eyes, why is this so hard? He felt tears building up behind his eyes, oh what am I going to cry now? This is ridiculous, it's a freaking apple, why do I care about a freaking apple? Why does it matter that I don't eat? "Why is this so hard?" He finally asked out loud, with his eyes shut tight still.

Remus did take his hand now, Harry flinched but didn't pull away. "Harry" Remus said softly, Harry had noticed that his guardians made a point of using his name when they knew he was anxious. He didn't want to admit that it helped, but it did. "I know that this is hard, and it's not fair. I don't know why this is happening to you Harry, but I do understand that it isn't just you choosing not to eat. At the center they tried to explain it to us, and I'm sure we'll never fully understand but we're here for you, and we are going to get you through this. But the only way to get through it is to keep eating, okay?"

Harry finally dared to open his eyes, sniffing a bit and wiping his eyes quickly. "Okay," He said shakily as he pulled the plate back towards him. Don't do it, don't do it, the voice inside him was practically chanting. You can bloody shut up, he snapped back, Everybody needs to eat… I don't want to live this way anymore.

The snack took far longer than Harry wanted it to, and he was sure it had taken him longer than Remus and Sirius were supposed to give him to eat it, but eventually the plate had been clean. As he stood and walked to the parlor he had caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall and realized miserably that he had less than an hour before they would eat lunch.

Once he was on the couch, wrapped tightly in one of the soft blankets that they kept there for him, he turned to his guardians. They had both followed him silently to the parlor, and were standing by the doorway looking worried and a bit proud. "Well," he said quietly "What did you want to talk about?"

Sirius chuckled and moved to sit on the couch by his feet, leaving Remus to take the chair to his right. "You sure you want to talk about this now pup? It can wait until you're feeling a bit better."

Harry shook his head, barely peeking out from the blanket and not really looking at either wizard. "No, let's talk about it now, I could use a distraction anyway."

Sirius nodded, and Remus leaned forward to start talking. "Well, we need to talk to you about something… to ask you something… Erm, I guess. Someone has asked for our help, and Sirius and I agreed that you should be a part of the decision, since it would affect you too. We're a family and we should be making big decisions together."

Harry propped his head up with one arm and looked at Remus, "Someone needs our help?" He asked curiously.

Remus nodded and smiled "Yes, Severus stopped by last night, to talk to us about your professor and the blood quill, but also to ask us a favor. He told us that the reason you came to his office the day you were hospitalized was to tell him that Draco's parents had been hurting him?"

Harry blushed "Yeah, I had to tell someone… they could have really hurt him!"

Sirius smiled and ruffled his godson's hair "That's right pup, you did the right thing. And Severus was able to get Draco help. And thanks to the publicity from your trial, wizarding law has changed for the better. Draco has been removed from his parents custody pending their own trial."

Harry chewed his lip "That's good… I'm sure Draco is scared though, family means so much to him. And he won't want anyone to know about it!"

Sirius nodded "I'm sure it's been complicated for Draco, but he's safe for right now which is what matters. Seveurs came to us because he was wondering how we would feel about having Draco come stay with us over the Christmas holiday."

Harry sat up now, looking between his guardians. "Seriously?" He asked in shock.

Sirius chuckled "Don't be so surprised, we take pretty good care of you don't we? And Severus said that you and Draco had become closer this past semester. I think he thought that it would be good for him to be around people who understand."

"But we haven't committed to it yet" Remus jumped in quickly. "I know you and Draco are close, but it's okay if you would rather have things stay like they are."

Harry, to his credit, paused for a moment before answering. "What would happen to Draco then?" He felt bad, sure he and Draco had managed a truce while they were in the hospital, and even an odd sort of friendship once back at Hogwarts. But weekly conversations and a secret friendship are very different from having someone live with you all the time. And he's going to see me eating… see everything… Who knows anyway, he's probably still mad at me for telling on him.

Remus smiled "There are some other options for him, he wouldn't have to go back to his parents, no matter what."

Harry thought back to when he had first come to live with Remus and Sirius, I was pretty messed up then… I can't imagine having gone to the Weasleys…. They're great and all, but I don't know what I would have done around such normal people. Maybe Draco needs some crazy people to be around too. He sighed, "I'm okay with it if Draco is." He said finally.

Sirius nodded excitedly, but Remus cocked his head to one side. "What do you mean, 'if Draco is?"

Harry shrugged "Well he should get a say too right?" But he didn't meet his guardian's eyes, for some reason he didn't want to admit that he was worried the other boy might be mad.

Remus quickly sent an owl to Severus letting him know their decision, and over lunch they discussed their plans to get a christmas tree. Harry still couldn't understand why they bothered, it was just the three of them, and Draco now apparently, but they hardly made a big happy family to celebrate christmas with anyway.

Sirius had insisted though, even going so far as to demand that they drive to a muggle Christmas tree farm. Remus and Harry had thankfully talked him out of feeling the need to cut down their own tree.

So after lunch they had bundled up and headed out into what was quickly turning into a snow storm. There was a Christmas tree lot only a few miles away, and before he knew it Harry was wandering the outdoor aisles of trees with his godfather half heartedly agreeing to Sirius's various assessments of each tree.