Hello everyone. I have an announcement to make.
You might be wondering why I'm posting today instead of my usual day. That's because I've come to a few realizations about this story.
Firstly, I've written myself into a corner.
After half-writing and scrapping what would have been chapter 13 three times over, I've come to the realization that the current plot line doesn't really make sense. While it is true that Artoria in canon could be decidedly ruthless at times, it occurred to me that I was essentially railroading her down that route in hopes of creating a situation where Shirou would snap her out of it. In my rush to create a crack in the mask that I'd put on her, I'd turned Artoria into a self-pitying nervous wreck intent on being the hard (wo)man making hard decisions. That wasn't what I wanted to do with this.
Speaking of rushing, I found that I've also been rushing the story, and sacrificing character development in doing so. Chapters 5 through 10 cover a period of more than a year for instance, but there's maybe a couple paragraphs of interaction between Shirou and Artoria in those tens of thousands of words. What am I in a rush for? I could have stretched out that year of training into more than three chapters, and built a believable friendly relationship between the two.
There are a few other flaws, such as my choice to put this in first person, my fixation on sticking to the course of the 12 Battles being its own form of railroading, the fact that I wasn't actually a particularly good or experienced writer when I started this, the fact that I've strayed too far from the original characters… I could go on.
What I can't do is continue this story as it is. I owe it to you, the characters, and myself to deliver quality writing, and forcing myself through won't do anyone any favors. As such, I'm thinking of two alternatives.
The first is essentially rewriting the current story from the ground up, but incorporating all the things I've learned into it. As I've been going along, I've been haphazardly patching older chapters as the story continued and I've gotten more practice at writing, but there's only so much you can do to fix a faulty foundation. (In retrospect, I'm frankly embarrassed of my original chapter 1). This would let me recycle some of the plot elements, and free me of the burden of having to rewrite what I've already written while simultaneously pushing the plot forward.
The second is creating a new story based on the same premise. It would still be Shirou running into Artoria near the start of her journey, but it wouldn't have to be in the same place, the same way, the same time, etc. It would probably be a little more difficult to write, but it would also let me take the story in new and interesting directions. At the moment I'm leaning this way, maybe have Shirou run into our heroine even earlier on her journey. It might be interesting to write how Artoria's opinion of Shirou shifts from that "suspicious magus up to no good that she was about to stab," to "that weirdly helpful and friendly magus that Merlin talked me into dragging along" to "A Friend and comrade" and then on to more.
In any case, you haven't seen the last of me, or of Shirou and Artoria, and I should have my decision made up by May 1, which is when I plan on posting something. A few suggestions from you wouldn't hurt however, so feel free to offer advice and opinions.
Again, sorry, but I will be writing again, and it should be even better.