CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR - PASSING GRADES

A couple of weeks had passed since Shigaraki had experienced the unfortunate dinner at the Todoroki house and for the most part daily life for Dabi and himself had settled down. They walked to and from school together, they held hands and they resumed their nightly sleepovers, sometimes in Shigaraki's room and sometimes in Dabi's. But while it appeared that things were back to normal on the outside, in Shigaraki's mind he and Dabi still had a lot to work through.

Since Dabi had apologized and surprised him with breakfast in bed, they hadn't really talked further about what had happened and they definitely had not discussed what was going to happen next. There were so many questions left up in the air with no solid resolution. Was Dabi going to come clean to his family about his relationship with him? Was Dabi going to go to the prom with Rumi? Who fucking knew? He was sure Dabi didn't even know. And as much as Shigaraki really wanted to know the answers to these questions, he had so many conflicting priorities in his life demanding his attention that he just didn't want to revisit all that ugliness. He didn't have the time to think about it or have the energy to deal with it so instead he pushed it all aside knowing very well that it was probably the worst thing to do.

His current focus was mainly occupied by the preparation for final exams, both the practical and the physical, and when he wasn't actively involved with either of those, he was either studying, working at the agency or improving his body's performance at the school gym. All the while mentally and emotionally struggling with balancing them all. This left him little time to worry about what was going on with Dabi and their somewhat blemished relationship.

Lost in his own thoughts, Shigaraki did not hear the bell calling an end to the school day. He had been absently staring out the window, watching the world beyond the classroom and contemplating what he was going to do with a rare night off from studying and the agency. That was until Kai tapped his arm, bringing him back to the present.

"Are you awake?" He chuckled behind his mask.

"What?" Shigaraki scowled.

"The bell rang."

"Oh. Yeah. Right." He gathered up the few items on his desk - some pens, his notebook, his iPhone - and put them into his bag before leaving his seat.

He had only just made it to the front of the room when Mr. Aizawa stopped his progress to the door.

"Shigaraki, can I see you for a few minutes?"

"Sure." Shigaraki nodded, stopping by their teacher's desk.

"Chisaki, please close the door behind you."

Kai nodded and then exited the classroom. At the door, before it was closed, Shigaraki could hear Kai telling Dabi that Shigaraki was asked to stay behind. Mr. Aizawa waited for the door to click shut before he spoke again.

"How are you doing, Shigaraki?" He asked, leaning back against his desk. He folded his arms over his chest, regarding his student thoughtfully.

"Ah, okay. I guess." He scratched unwittingly at his neck, right above the collar of his shirt, "Busy."

"Mm." Mr. Aizawa nodded in understanding, "I've noticed some… changes with you over the last few months. But especially more recently."

Shigaraki arched one of his brows in questioning. He was pretty sure Mr. Aizawa wasn't referring to his physical changes because they were pretty damn obvious. Every other person asked Shigaraki about the rapidly changing color of his hair.

"How do you feel you did on the last practice exam?"

"Okay… Why? Did I fail it?"

"You didn't fail," Mr. Aizawa said, and he turned to retrieve a small stapled stack of paper from his desk. He handed it to Shigaraki. It was his written test from the day before. "But as you can see, this is not the grade I have come to expect from you."

Shigaraki looked down at the front page. The number sixty percent was written in red and circled obnoxiously. Shigaraki frowned. When he was writing the exam, he didn't feel like it was too complicated or that he didn't understand any of the questions or prompts. This was barely a passing grade.

"Fuck." He whispered under his breath.

Of course, Mr. Aizawa heard the expletive, they were only standing about a foot away from each other after all.

"I'll let that one slide."

Shigaraki looked up at him briefly before dropping his gaze back down to his paper.

"Shigaraki," Mr. Aizawa said his name, trying to gain his attention again, "You can see why I am concerned, right?"

"Yeah." Shigaraki sighed and scrubbed his hand roughly over his face before pushing his fingers back into his hair. "I'll study more. I'll do better."

There was an awkward moment of silence where Mr. Aizawa just stared at him. But then…

"Are you okay?" He asked.

The question was genuine and sincere and when Shigaraki met his teacher's-tired eyes, he saw a lot of worry in them. No judgment.

"I'm-" Shigaraki stopped, unsure how to answer the question without sounding like he was on the verge of fucking insanity. Which was a bit of an exaggeration. He was far from being okay though. But managing. Kind of.

"I know this may be an awkward conversation for you to have with me, but I need to address some things I have seen. And heard."

"Like what?" Shigaraki questioned, handing his exam back to his teacher. He thought he knew what was coming and braced himself for a lecture.

"Like your relationship with Toya Todoroki."

"Okay…" Shigaraki said, his face warming up. That was not what he expected him to say.

"Shigaraki. You can trust me. And whatever you want to tell me, it won't leave this room. Do you understand?"

Shigaraki nodded. Anxious. More scratching ensued.

"Let me start by saying this." Mr. Aizawa cleared his throat. "Rumors are like weeds. They are hard to get rid of once they take root. If we d-"

"Oh god, please don't." Shigaraki groaned in embarrassment, interrupting his teacher's anecdote.

Mr. Aizawa shared a rare grin.

"Until recently, your grades have been exceptional and I'm afraid that the complications of being in a teenage relationship is negatively affecting you. I'm not specifically talking about Toya because I am happy that you two are getting along. And for a long while there you seemed to be thriving. But what I am most concerned about is what is going on with you and Toya. And Rumi."

"There isn't anything going on."

Aizawa sighed. "I don't usually let myself get involved in these kinds of things, but this rumor, which I believe we both thought would have died out by now, is still rolling around the school. And I feel like this is impacting you mentally, physically and academically."

"It's just a rumor." Shigaraki tried to argue, not even sure he believed that anymore.

"Okay, sure. But I'm only talking to you about this because I care about you, I don't like seeing this slow and steady downhill slide you are on. Shigaraki, look at your hair. Your body is literally offering you a warning."

Shigaraki wanted to argue that point but Mr. Aizawa was not wrong. Not entirely anyway. There were obviously some other things at play, but Shigaraki was not going to bring those up. No way.

"I've watched your training closely in the last few weeks. You are stronger physically and that's great but emotionally I can see you spiraling out of control and I am really worried you might hurt yourself. Or someone else."

Shigaraki reeled back at his teacher's honest disclosure. He didn't know what to say.

"I can't tell you what to do, I'm just making sure you aware of what I have observed and offering you some friendly advice. But I do think you need to make a decision about what is important to you and to your future."

"Okay." Shigaraki covered his eyes with the palm of his hand, rubbing anxiously. "Is that all?" He said, his voice a barely audible whisper.

"There is one other thing."

Shigaraki dropped his hand away from his face and sighed, waiting for another inspiring pep talk from his teacher.

"A reporter from Juzo News dropped by the school yesterday."

"Okay?"

"They want to run a story on some of the students graduating this year. The up-and-coming heroes."

"What's that got to do with me?"

Mr. Aizawa laughed softly. "Well, you are one of the students they picked from the third-year profiles. Along with a couple of obvious choices."

"Me?" Shigaraki questioned, taken aback. "Why?"

Aizawa smiled. "Don't sell yourself short, Shigaraki. You have good grades in class and in combat, Fourth Kind speaks highly of you. And so do I. And they liked your… ahem, look."

Shigaraki scrunched up his nose. That sounded weird and completely wrong coming from his teacher.

"I know that you probably feel like this is out of your comfort zone, however, I think you should really consider doing the interview."

"I don't know." Shigaraki habitually began scratching at his neck again.

"This is really good exposure, Shigaraki. Good grades will secure you a place in an agency, however, think about all the other opportunities this would bring up for you. One interview could take you from being just another obscure hero who has a license, to a hero who is desired, that the people want, one who is necessary."

Shigaraki remained silent, contemplating his teacher's words of advice. He was right of course. Again. Shigaraki was a nobody, he didn't have the sparkling good looks or personality like Takami and he wasn't the offspring of an existing hero like Dabi. Neither of them would ever have to worry about getting a job or have any issues with sponsorships or promotional opportunities. But Shigaraki, he would have to fight his way through a hundred new heroes to make a name for himself, and admittedly that all sounded so… daunting. And tiresome. Maybe Juzo News could bring him into the light and just make his life a little bit simpler. He was struggling as it was, overwhelmed and challenged in ways he never expected to be in his last year of school. A small step up would be helpful.

"You don't need to make a decision about that now." Mr. Aizawa added. "They will be coming by the school again next week to speak to the chosen students individually and then they'll probably take you off site for the interviews and a photo shoot sometime after that. If that's what you want. No pressure. Just think about it."

"Okay." Shigaraki nodded.

And he didn't really need to say anything more than that. His mental capacity was officially at its max. What he really needed was a night off from it all. He didn't want to think about school, or work, or the unresolved issues with Dabi. He needed a real break.

"Shigaraki, if you feel like you need to talk to me about anything," His teacher offered, "Or you need help with finals prep or training, whatever it is, just know that I am here for you. I know it's been hard for you but you're not alone. You don't have to do everything by or for yourself. I'm here. Okay?"

Shigaraki opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. Regardless of how difficult things had been for him lately, he thought he had done a pretty good job at hiding it. Apparently not. And he wanted to scream out that he did need fucking help but that really wasn't in his nature, for as long as he could remember it was always just him, so instead he again just nodded his head.

Mr. Aizawa laid his hand lightly on Shigaraki's shoulder and he gave it a little squeeze. "You're free to go." He said with a smile and then drew his arm back to himself.

"Thanks." Shigaraki shrugged his bag further up over his shoulder but his feet did not move. He wasn't sure why, but it was almost as if his body was telling him to get something off his chest. He stood for a moment, awkwardly staring at his teacher before finally he turned towards the door and started walking, all the while taking deep, almost sobbing breaths.

He stopped when he got to the door and put his hand on the doorknob. He was desperately trying to pull himself together before he faced his friends and his boyfriend who were certainly waiting for him to come out of the classroom.

"Have a good weekend, Shigaraki." Mr. Aizawa added with finality.

Shigaraki opened the door and as expected was greeted by four pairs of peering eyes. Three of which he didn't mind, the other though, he wanted to punch Takami in his stupid perfect face and wipe that smirk out too.

Dabi immediately moved in and slid an arm around Shigaraki's shoulders, tucking him into his side. "What was that about?" He smacked a kiss against Shigaraki's temple.

"Nothing.' Shigaraki waved it off and then attempted to move away from Dabi's grasping embrace.

"Hey," Dabi said, frowning as Shigaraki slipped away from his side, "You were in there for a really long time and that was about nothing?"

"I don't want to talk about it. School shit."

"Are you in trouble?"

"No."

"Aizawa just wanted to chat?" Dabi joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Dabi, would you just fucking leave it?" Kai interjected, tired of Dabi's selfishness, "He clearly does not want to talk. Give him a fucking break."

Kurogiri agreed but knew better to say something or ask when Shigaraki didn't want to talk.

Dabi sneered at Kai but chose to ignore him and Takami snickered like he always did, enjoying the little squabble.

"Maybe Aizawa was hitting on him." Takami teased, "Closed doors, don't want to talk about it. So hush hush. What's the secret?"

"Shut up." Shigaraki said, his words lacking their usual bite. He just wasn't in the mood to deal with the bird.

"You're disgusting." Kai spat out.

"It was a joke, geez."

"None of us are laughing, bird brain." Dabi shook his head.

"Whatever." He skipped ahead of their little crew and then turned to face them while he continued to walk backwards. "What we were talking about," He started, emphasizing the we, "Was dinner. Korean BBQ specifically. "

"Sure." Shigaraki agreed.

"Awesome." Takami beamed and then turned to walk properly again. "I know a good place."