****Slight warning on this chapter as it contains drug use. Otherwise, enjoy!****

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX - YOU WORRY ME

Shigaraki was sure there was nothing quite as comforting like the feeling of your own bedroom after being away from it for so long. He felt immediate relief as he sank heavily down onto his mattress, laying flat out on his back and he sighed, allowing his eyes to slip closed while he absorbed the familiar warmth that his bed induced. It had been a long, arduous day and he could've easily drifted off to sleep right then and there.

"Shigaraki?"

Shigaraki groaned and his eyelids fluttered open, the ceiling above him blurring as his vision adjusted to the sudden burst of light. He scowled and stared up at the ceiling, at the random imperfections in the white paint. He related to them because he too was flawed; perhaps even more so than most. And that peeling paint.

"I'll be back in half an hour." Mr. Aizawa said from the doorway, making it very clear that this was just a pitstop. Shigaraki was only there to pack some of his things for the next couple, or few, weeks he would be bunking with Mr. Aizawa, neither of them were staying at UA High.

"Got it."

Mr. Aizawa nodded but hesitated to leave and remained standing outside his door.

Shigaraki lifted his head and rolled his eyes when he spotted his teacher still hanging around, scrutinizing him.

"I'm up, I'll pack." He said, wrenching himself into a sitting position and yawning excessively.

"Thank you."

"Yes, dad." Shigaraki grumbled under his breath.

Another long sigh of relief escaped Shigaraki's lips as Mr. Aizawa finally moved off to do whatever it was, he needed to do for the next thirty-minutes, leaving Shigaraki alone with his murky thoughts. He just couldn't stop them, the memories, and the ideas in his head, about everything that had happened and just how much his life had changed over the course of one short day.

He wanted them to stop, he wanted to forget it all had happened. This is where the drugs came in. He needed them, just a temporary fix, a little chemical respite from everything that was going wrong in his life. So, instead of packing, Shigaraki located his phone and sent a quick text to his dispenser and soon to be savior, Kai, letting him know he was back in the dorms. Almost immediately, his friend responded, short and sweet with three single letters: omw, and a thumbs up emoji.

Shigaraki grinned, help was in sight, and he felt a wash of alleviation roll over him until the unread messages from Dabi captured his attention. One corner of his mouth curled down into a frown and his stomach did a little flip and then a flop. He pondered over a reply, his finger hovering over the text before he thought better of it and promptly locked his phone. He clutched the smartphone tightly in his hand, clicking his tongue in contemplation before tossing it somewhere on the bed. He had other things to worry about at that moment like packing, which he supposed he should get a start on while he waited for Kai to show up. Dabi could wait.

His UA High duffle bag was crammed into the bottom of his modest closet. He rarely needed to use it as it was too big to take to classes or to lug around with him everywhere everyday. He dragged it out into the middle of the room and then stopped, starting down at it. The last time it had been taken out was during summer break, when he and Dabi had gone to the Komorebi Resort for a few days. He hadn't even been the one to pack the bag. Dabi had done that for him, surprising him at the Fourth Kind agency while he was working late.

Shigaraki half smiled at the memory. It was mostly positive, a happy one, but it definitely held a negative undertone considering Shigaraki had destroyed the hotel bed and almost killed Dabi while they were sleeping together. Their little vacation had been cut abruptly short because of his cursed hands.

And then again, there was Dabi. There was just no way for Shigaraki to ignore his thoughts or feelings about his boyfriend, all these small reminders remained of him everywhere. Shigaraki was still so mad at him, but he couldn't deny that he missed him or the way things used to be between them. Dabi always had a way of making his world feel right. Or rather he had. Now, Shigaraki was not so sure of that. Either way, those unread messages were sitting at the front of his mind; a subtle itch that he just didn't want to scratch. Not right then anyway.

He sighed. Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't register Kai knocking on his door frame announcing his arrival. It was only the sound of his name being called that Shigaraki snapped out of it and rejoined the present.

"Yo." Kai said as he entered the room, closing the door behind him which Shigaraki was thankful for.

"Hey." Shigaraki replied, abandoning his packing momentarily. The two boys greeted each other with a familiar fist bump.

"You going somewhere?" Kai asked, one eyebrow raised as he spotted the empty duffle bag open on the floor, ready to be packed.

"Yeah." Shigaraki nodded absently, looking down at it.

"Okay, you need to fill me in." Kai said, and then added. "I got you the stuff."

"Cool. Thanks."

"So, whats going on?" Kai asked, tossing the little baggie of white pills onto Shigaraki's desk and then tugging the chair out to sit down in.

Shigaraki bit his tongue. He wanted to tell Kai about everything, openly and honestly, it was almost like an urge or a desire to lean on his friend for support, but Mr. Aizawa had cautioned him about revealing too much, even though he really felt like he needed to get some things off his chest.

Kai must've sensed his hesitancy or maybe it was the troubled look on Shigaraki's face, either way his eyes seemed to pick up on Shigaraki's distress and he raised his brows.

"Are you okay?" He asked, the concerned tone of his voice was palpable.

"No. Far from it." Shigaraki replied, scoffing, and shaking his head. "Can I… just-" Shigaraki started, his words trailing off as he motioned over to the pills Kai had procured for him. If he was going to relive the disaster of his day, or choose to forget about it, he needed synthetic chemical support.

"Yeah. Totally." Kai nodded, eyeing Shigaraki silently before he spoke again. "You look like you need a quick high."

"You have no fucking idea." Shigaraki confirmed, pushing his fingers back through his hair.

Kai nodded and then spun the chair around towards Shigaraki's desk. "In that case, the best way to take these is to crush and snort them." He opened the zip lock and tipped out a bunch of the little white pills onto the surface of the desk.

"Great." Shigaraki said, sauntering over to his friend who was digging around on his desk.

"Heh, how fitting." Kai chuckled, finding a UA High logo shaped paperweight among a pile of textbooks and loose papers. He then proceeded to smash and grind the pills with it into a fine, white powder.

Shigaraki snorted a rough laugh and then habitually started to scratch at his neck.

"So, I guess things didn't go too well today?" Kai assumed, mostly correct.

"It was kind of okay," Shigaraki said. "The photoshoot was a bit uncomfortable-"

"Because Tokuda still wanted you bare-ass-naked?" Kai interjected, focused as he expertly used the edge of a folded piece of paper to cut the powder into four thick lines.

"Mostly naked." Shigaraki corrected him and then leaned back to sit against the edge of his desk, folding his arms over his chest.

"Heh." Kai snickered and whipped out a ten-thousand-yen bill, slowly rolling it as he stared up at his friend. Shigaraki's red eyes were wide and anxious. It reminded Kai of a burning fire, where everything was hot and deadly. He definitely felt warm. "I bet they look good though."

"That's what they say." Shigaraki shrugged.

Kai tugged his mask down to his chin and then offered Shigaraki the rolled-up money which was perched between his index and middle finger. When Shigaraki went to take it, Kai pulled his hand back a little. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Shigaraki affirmed with a solid nod.

"Okay." Kai sort of grinned. "Here."

Shigaraki slid the rolled up ten thousand from between Kai's fingers, eyeing his friend with conviction. He shifted and without even the slightest amount of uncertainty leaned over his desk. The tip of the rolled-up bill went into his nose and then he hovered up a line of the cut powder. Instantly, he received a much needed hit of endorphins.

"F-Fuck!" He stuttered, wincing. He lifted his hand, his thumb wiping away a fine dusting around his nostril as he coughed through the irritation.

"In ten minutes, that will feel a lot better." Kai chuckled softly, taking the rolled bill back from Shigaraki.

"It fucking burns." Shigaraki groaned, rubbing agitatedly at his nose.

"Yep." Kai grinned and then followed Shigaraki's lead, inhaling a line in one swift movement. It was more than obvious that this was not his first time. He didn't even flinch. He sniffled a little from the rush of drugs into his system but that was the extent of it.

"So, what happened after the photoshoot?" Kai asked, transferring the rolled money back to Shigaraki again.

"The interview? I'm not really supposed to talk about it." Shigaraki replied, but the infliction in his voice made it come out like a question.

"That bad, huh?"

Shigaraki laughed awkwardly. To Kai, it sounded almost scornful.

"You wouldn't fucking believe it." Shigaraki started and then paused so he could snort another line. He coughed, some of the powder felt like it was tickling the back of his throat. He thrust the money back to his friend.

"Try me." Kai said and then took another hit, coughing this time before discarding the money on the desk. He sniffled and then sat back in the chair, waiting for Shigaraki to explain all of his… ambiguity, his hands draped casually behind his head.

"I can't really." Shigaraki said, blowing out a breath. "Disclosures and shit." He sneered and scrubbed a hand roughly down his face.

"Sounds serious."

Shigaraki scoffed and kicked at this duffle bag which redirected Kai's focus away from his solemn friend for a second.

"So, where are you going?" Kai asked, one brow raised. "Just a guess, but this has something to do with the interview?"

Shigaraki nodded. He didn't look up at Kai, his tense gaze remained on his unopened bag.

"And you can't talk about that either?" Kai guessed, again.

"No." Shigaraki shook his head and then slid slowly down to the floor. He drew his knees up to his chest and then wrapped his arms around his legs.

Kai frowned. It felt like the air was being punched out of his lungs as he watched his friend retreat into himself, silent and downcast. Something squeezed inside his chest. Whatever had happened during Shigaraki's time at Juzo News had really affected him.

"I'm sorry." Kai said and unconsciously he reached out to his crush, laying his hand on Shigaraki's inwardly curved shoulder, and then brushing his arm, very softly. If Shigaraki noticed the touch, it didn't seem to bother him. It bothered Kai though, in a completely different way of course. He felt like the temperature of his whole body had probably risen a couple - or ten - degrees.

"Is there anything I can… do? For you?" Kai asked, chewing on his lower lip.

Shigaraki sighed and his head drifted backwards, hitting his desk with a small thump. "You already helped me out. Big time." Shigaraki said, his eyes drifting closed. His breathing had slowed significantly, the drugs lulling him into a hazy daze and for the first time that day, he felt happy, lighter. Almost as if he couldn't remember why he was feeling so shitty in the first place.

Kai hmmed, his fingers sweeping daringly towards Shigaraki's exposed neck. He felt like the drugs were having the complete opposite effect on him. His heart rate had kicked up and his chest heaved, his face unbearably warm. The hand still on Shigaraki's shoulder seemed to awaken little fires across his body.

"Well, if there is anything else you need…" Kai whispered, his words trailing off as he gently flicked Shigaraki's hair aside so he could brush the delicate skin at the base of his neck, right along the edge of the collar of his UA uniform.

"Yeah." Shigaraki said, his chin tipping up and down just slightly. A warmth began to radiate inside him, soothing, a warm embrace like lowering yourself into a hot spring on the coldest winter day, leaving only bliss. A smile formed on his face. There was nothing left to worry about. "Thanks."

Kai swallowed hard, trying to calm the red-hot awareness raging inside him. In their cocoon of pure lightness, he felt like they could do anything. He could do something. And he wanted to, so badly. It was a simple physical reaction; he was attracted to Shigaraki and the drugs had heightened his desire. And possibly, emboldened him. He carefully moved off the chair and dropped down to sit next to his crush, so close their sides brushed.

"Shigaraki, I-"

A loud knock on the door saved him from a confession that although he wanted to profess, he knew was not the right time. Thankful for the interruption, he shook his head, trying to re-engage the wiser part of his brain and clear the fog away from his eyes. He had just come so close to divulging his - not so - secret crush to his crush.

Another loud knock. And then another.

The sound registered with both boys but neither of them moved. Shigaraki found it odd, he felt so high and light, he was sure he could easily float across the room to open the door. But when that didn't happen, he simply shifted his head to gaze nonchalantly at the door.

"Yeah?" He mumbled.

"Shigaraki?"

Dabi.

Kai scowled. "I hate him." He admitted, dreary. Apparently, his filter had turned off completely.

Shigaraki laughed, which was seemingly very contagious in their drug induced state because Kai chuckled too, softly at first, but then he couldn't contain his amusement and soon they were both laughing hysterically.

"I'm coming in." Dabi said, his voice low and muffled behind the door.

"What?" Shigaraki said, like Dabi's self admittance didn't quite make sense to him.

Not a second later, the door opened, and Dabi stepped inside the room. Shigaraki arranged his expression into a more neutral one and was about to say something but whatever thought popped into his drug-clouded mind disappeared the moment his eyes met Dabi's vibrant blue gaze. Along with that unemotional expression he had been going for. His lips parted slightly, mouth hanging open, he couldn't find any words.

"I-Um. Hi." Shigaraki started and then cleared his throat.

Dabi stared back at him with a funny look while all Shigaraki could do was blink.

"Hi." Dabi said simply, his forehead creasing as his eyes veered momentarily to Kai before they were back on his boyfriend again. "You didn't answer your phone."

"I don't have it." Shigaraki replied, motioning absently in the direction of his bed where his phone had been discarded.

Dabi didn't follow the gesture, but something did change in his expression, like he was trying to understand what was going on. Shigaraki seemed so uncharacteristically scatterbrained and though it was not uncommon for him to be sitting on the floor, he did that a lot when he played video games, both he and Kai were obviously not in front of the TV. They were just… there. In a random spot in the room, seemingly doing nothing.

"You didn't tell me you were back. I had to hear it from someone else." He said, as a way of explaining why he was there.

"So?" Shigaraki questioned. They had barely talked in the last two weeks, not even texted. They were fighting. That's why.

Dabi sighed. "Can we talk?" He looked from Shigaraki to Kai and then added. "Alone." Hoping Shigaraki's shadow would take the hint and leave.

Kai did not move a muscle. He was not going to leave Shigaraki's side unless told so by Shigaraki himself. He especially did not want to leave him alone with the asshole as Kai was now referring to Dabi as.

"Okay." Shigaraki said after a quiet moment.

"Are you going to be okay?" Kai asked, turning to look at his crush. A sense of longing overtook his rationalizing capabilities and he nudged closer to his friend, bumping his shoulder against Shigaraki and leaving it there. He then lifted his hand to Shigaraki's face and affectionately brushed the light hair out of eyes. He didn't give two fucks about what Dabi thought about the touches. It was a small taste of his own medicine. Miniscule compared to what Dabi had done to Shigaraki. Kai was tempted to do more. They were so close…

"Yeah." Shigaraki nodded. "Thanks."

Kai deflated somewhat and searched Shigaraki's sparkling red eyes for any uncertainty. He didn't find any. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"I'll text you later." Shigaraki confirmed.

Kai took one last long look at his crush, his skin tingled where they pressed together and his heart raced, but he forced himself to get up from the floor. He did so with wobbly legs but managed. He then stalked across the room, his shoulder clipping Dabi as he pushed past him on his way to the door.

"Watch it, Chisaki." Dabi all but growled out.

"I'm watching asshole." He flipped Dabi off and then promptly exited the room.

Dabi's blood boiled. He waited to hear the door shutting behind Kai before he moved further into Shigaraki's room. He didn't say anything but took one look around the room, his eyes stopping at Shigaraki's desk, for him to comprehend just what he had walked into. There was a scatter of white pills on the surface of the desk and traces of white powder had been left behind.

Shigaraki didn't move and he remained silent on the floor, looking up at Dabi impassively.

"Get up." Dabi demanded, offering his hand to his boyfriend.

"I'm okay here, thanks." Shigaraki said, defiantly.

"Please."

Shigaraki knew he was going to have to stand again eventually but his head was swimming. Not necessarily unpleasantly, the drugs had made him feel mostly numb, but he was a little concerned about how the world would look on his feet. He was sure it would be dizzying so he accepted Dabi's helpful hand, somewhat reluctantly, and immediately he was guided upwards.

"Why are you here, Dabi?" Shigaraki finally asked, wrenching his hand away from his boyfriend. Or trying to. Dabi did not allow him to leave, and he did not let go.

"I was worried about you." He replied, frowning. "And I can see that I was right to feel that way." He added when Shigaraki stumbled a little.

"I'm fine." Shigaraki attempted a smile.

"Is that the drugs talking?"

"They helped." He couldn't help but laugh at that. Dabi did not find it very funny.

"What am I going to do with you, Mop Head." Dabi sighed, though he brushed the side of Shigaraki's face tenderly. He wasn't upset or disappointed. Shigaraki had every right to do what he needed to find some peace, especially after everything that had happened that day. Dabi could hardly admonish him for taking drugs, he had his own fair share of addictions but that still didn't stop him from worrying.

Shigaraki was slightly taken aback hearing that nickname from Dabi. Mop head. He had almost forgotten about it. Dabi never called him that anymore.

"You don't have to do anything." Shigaraki replied, his words slurred a little. "I'm leaving."

Dabi shifted his eyes to the duffle bag that, to Shigaraki's chagrin, remained unpacked. He wasn't sure why he thought it would magically fill itself, maybe he just really did not feel like packing.

Dabi frowned and his eyes found Shigaraki again. "You're leaving?" He repeated Shigaraki's words, and alarm bells started to go off in his head. No. No. No.

"I'm sorry. I just meant…" Shigaraki started; his mind foggy. It was hard for him to process his words. His teeth skimmed over his bottom lip. "Not school. Just the dorms. For a while."

"Don't go." Dabi almost begged. "I don't want to lose you again."

Shigaraki reeled back a little as Dabi reached out to him. "I don't have a choice."

"There is always a choice. Stay with me." Dabi pleaded. And this time, Shigaraki did not move when Dabi caught his waist and pulled him in.

Maybe it was the drugs clouding his mind, but Shigaraki couldn't seem to remember why he was supposed to be mad at Dabi or why he had tried to resist his affections in the first place. He pressed himself into Dabi's warm chest just as he was wrapped up in a pair of strong, familiar arms. Dabi held him there, his face buried into Shigaraki's neck. It took Shigaraki a moment to catch up on what was happening but eventually his body relaxed, and he lifted his arms, threading his hands around the back of Dabi's neck. When Shigaraki's fingers slid into Dabi's hair, his boyfriend drew back enough to look Shigaraki in the face.

"I've missed you." Dabi said, dropping his forehead down against Shigaraki's.

"Dabi." Shigaraki began to say, his head pleasantly whirling, his body now very warm. All the stress and worry had finally left his brow, and his tight, tense jaw, loosened.

Dabi slowly began to close the tiny distance between them. Shigaraki felt Dabi's hand brush along his jawline, angling his face up and he swore Dabi's blue eyes darkened. Shigaraki's breathing increased, his chest rising and falling but he refused to look away. He held Dabi's stare.

"Tomura." Shigaraki's name left Dabi's lips like a soft prayer. Or a warning. Shigaraki could not be sure. His head was trying to work at full speed, processing everything that was going on, but it just wouldn't settle on anything level-headed. But then their noses grazed. Dabi was close, so close.

"I am going to kiss you now." Dabi added, his fingers gently grasping Shigaraki's chin to keep him still.

Shigaraki's heart thumped at the unfiltered need, the anticipation, and before he could really grasp that feeling Dabi's lips were on his and his eyes fluttered closed. A growl, a deliriously low growl, left Dabi's throat and the sound seeped deep down into Shigaraki's soul. Their mouths opened, lips pressing and molding desperately in an all too familiar dance.

Dabi carefully yet forcibly, walked Shigaraki backwards a few steps until his ass hit the edge of his desk and he pinned Shigaraki against the solid wood. He dragged his mouth down Shigaraki's neck, his teeth scraping the skin and catching the stiff collar of his UA uniform, another low growl, this one frustrated by the barrier of clothing stopping his lecherous progress.

"Dabi." Shigaraki moaned. It was a weak attempt to grab Dabi's focus because the ministrations on his neck felt much too good. But now that they were no longer kissing and Shigaraki was able to use his brain, which admittedly was absolutely not functioning at full capacity, he knew he needed some space. Just because he was as high as a kite, a few heated kisses were not going to make him forget about what Dabi had done to him and how hurt he had been. Even if his body was responding physically to the touches.

"Dabi, sto-"

Luckily, he didn't have to be the bearer of disappointment, Mr. Aizawa had returned to Shigaraki's room at exactly the opportune moment, swinging open the door and announcing his arrival with a loud cough. It startled a groan from Dabi's lips, and he pulled his mouth back from Shigaraki's skin. He instead, dropped his forehead down against Shigaraki, his chest rising and falling like he was having difficulty getting his excited breaths under control.

"Fuck." Dabi muttered so quietly their teacher could not hear the expletive. He was aroused and Shigaraki could feel the heat of his hardness pushing into him.

"Dabi." Mr. Aizawa said in way of greeting. "Helping Shigaraki with his packing, I see." He chaffed. Shigaraki looked over Dabi's heaving shoulders just as Mr. Aizawa folded his arms tensely over his chest, displeased.

"Yep." Dabi grumbled.

"Get off me." Shigaraki whispered, pushing at his boyfriend's shoulders. He couldn't move, Dabi had him sandwiched between his hard body and the desk behind him.

"Just, give me a second." He rasped. Shigaraki scowled, or as much as he could pull off a frown at that moment.

"Shigaraki, your bag is empty." Mr. Aizawa sighed in frustration. Thirty minutes and nothing. It was late, it had been a long day. Shigaraki could tell he was tired, he looked more weary than usual.

"Sorry. I got… distracted. I'll pack now." He said, clearing his throat and ducking away from Dabi as soon as his boyfriend had eased up some of his pressure.

"Dabi, don't you have somewhere better to be at this hour?" Mr. Aizawa said. It wasn't a question; it was a firm request for Dabi to quickly compose himself and leave Shigaraki's room so Shigaraki could promptly get to his packing.

"Not really." Dabi returned, equally as disgruntled by Mr. Aizawa as Mr. Aizawa was with his presence.

"Go." Mr. Aizawa stepped to the side of the doorway, just inside the threshold of Shigaraki's room and pointed towards the exit.

"Okay, okay." Something that looked a lot like pain flashed across Dabi's face.

Shigaraki felt it too, his body was already grieving the loss of Dabi's warmth and he felt cold and unbalanced without him. Literally. His head was spinning. Willing his legs to remain strong, he tried his best to act… sober and started pulling clothes out of his drawers and from his closet.

"Baby," Dabi started on his way to the door, he gently grasped Shigaraki's forearm, "Will you answer your phone if I call?"

"Maybe." Shigaraki replied, hugging a small stack of shirts against his chest.

"What about texts?"

"Dabi, I really have to pack."

Dabi frowned, like those answers were not what he wanted to hear from Shigaraki. He didn't say anything in return, but his head dipped, and he dropped a single kiss against the corner of Shigaraki's mouth, lingering there for a moment.

An intense heat climbed Shigaraki's neck, spreading to his cheeks, to his entire face and then Dabi was drawing away, stepping out of Shigaraki's personal space, and turning towards the exit where Mr. Aizawa was still waiting for the two boys to get their shit together.

"Please, take your time." Mr. Aizawa said sarcastically as Dabi ambled out into the hall like he was in no hurry to get out of there.

Shigaraki breathed out as soon as he disappeared but that feeling of palliation was short-lived. As soon as his gaze shifted from the empty space Dabi had been previously occupying, his eyes met Mr. Aizawa and his teacher narrowed his dark vision. There was an unspoken request there. Shigaraki did not need to hear him say it.

He needed to get moving. Fast.